Roleplay City

Infusco => INFUSCO: Enter The Shadows => The Luminary => Topic started by: Trillian on May 08, 2011, 12:56:00 PM

Title: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Trillian on May 08, 2011, 12:56:00 PM: (continued from Brothers (http://www.roleplaycity.com/forums/showthread.php?p=77113#post77113))

Throughout the car ride Ben had said nothing, though he hadn\'t sulked nor feared Kerr\'s wrath so much as felt apologetic that things had gone south between himself and Ichabod once more. He\'d promised Kerr that he would try and smooth things with Kerr\'s second fledge, but it was proving more difficult in deed than in words.

When Kerr reeled on him and Ichabod, he\'d at first felt sheepish in the face of Kerr\'s temper, for his sire had a point, but then Kerr said something that sparked anger in him.

"Defying you?" Ben replied questioningly. "I thought we were equals, not that I\'m your medieval wife."

He could\'ve argued the fact he\'d wanted to support Kerr in his time of need. He could\'ve argued that he\'d stayed because he felt obliged to watch over him. Even though Ben himself was helpless against a foe like Lazarus, it was hardly the point. He\'d stayed because he loved Kerr, and figured Kerr had wanted to send them away because he loved them. Such a reasonable argument was lost in the face of his temper however, and in the time that Kerr and Ben had got to know one another, Kerr had discovered that Ben had a short fuse.

Kerr might think he had a different version of Ben thanks to the time they\'d lost with one another, but Ben had always been quick to anger, the main difference now was instead of keeping it inside of himself and turning it inward and negatively poisoning his opinion on himself and others, he let it out to face the issue. It was healthier this way, though certainly not more peaceful. He wasn\'t shouting at Kerr, though. It took a lot for Ben to raise his voice, and as Ichabod knew all too well, Ben could be menacing enough quietly.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on May 08, 2011, 01:08:45 PM: "Don\'t be asinine," Kerr spat, goaded further by Ben\'s response. They hadn\'t had a fight in a very long time - and they\'d had some doozies, for sure - and something frustrated in him relished the fight back. He was confident enough in their relationship now to feel he didn\'t have to worry about Ben slinking away and ending everything just because he\'d got a negative response, too.

"When it comes to times of danger, we are not equals, I\'m your sire and I told you it would be best if you left! You knew I wanted you two the fuck away from there but you stayed, distracting me and making everything worse!" His right hand had come up, pointing aggressively towards Ben\'s chest around the time he declared the two of them to not be equals, and then waving around, randomly punctuating his further remarks. He was leaning forward too, his voice raised and passion rolling off him in waves.

If he\'d taken the time to stop and think about it, he\'d realise it was just a release of tension and relief that everything had turned out alright, but there was no time, with Ben fighting back. Plus, it felt good to let it all out.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: pinkroses on May 08, 2011, 06:26:56 PM: Ichabod chewed on his lower lip, as his gaze drifted between the other two. He felt like a complete intruder on a private argument, but he wasn’t sure where he would be allowed to leave or not when he felt like he should. But there was the worry that Kerr was about to turn that anger and raised voice on him which was also making Ichabod want to disappear.

The young vampire shifted his feet awkwardly on the floor, turning his gaze away from the couple, not wanting them to feel like he was prying on a private argument. Maybe they wouldn\'t notice if he slipped off... But if he tried and Kerr rounded on him then, well, it wasn\'t worth it.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Trillian on May 08, 2011, 08:46:00 PM: Ichabod\'s nervous anxiety could be easily read in his body language, in Ben\'s peripheral vision. The other fledge\'s twitching movements brought him into Ben\'s conscious thought and he included the other in his argument.

"So it\'s okay if Ichabod and I stick together, but it\'s not okay for us to support you?" Ben mocked straight back, his voice still even but inside he was a turmoil of emotion. He was grateful that he\'d always managed a cool facade, for he was feeling anything but, and a display would only retract from his argument. He held his right hand in front of his face, between Kerr and himself, five fingers splayed, the back of his hand shown to Kerr, and then wiggled his ring finger. "Did you really think Lazarus would care about your powers? To him we might as well both be fledglings."

He didn\'t mention the fact it was obvious Kerr had put all his faith in the Mimics, considering one had come home in the same car as them.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on May 08, 2011, 09:01:45 PM: "To him, we are fledglings!" Kerr exclaimed, throwing his hands in the air in frustration before they both landed back on his hips. "That\'s not the point! I had backup with me, I\'m not a fool! Support me, by all means," he agreed, glancing at Cub to include him in the statement as well

he looks like a little kid trying to slink under a table because Mummy and Daddy are having a fight

before he looked back at Ben. "But do it from a distance, that is all I asked of you! You know as well as I do how Lazarus likes to use you as leverage to get under my skin - both of you," he declared, shooting another look at Cub, "and you two being there just turned you into playing pieces. I\'m well aware that I no longer have any advantages against the fuckhead, but the least you could have done was put some goddamn proximity between us and my Achille\'s heels, that\'s all I wanted!" he huffed loudly.

He took a moment then, running one hand through his hair while the other rested on his hip, beginning to calm down. Things were beginning to settle back into perspective for him, the haze of burning anger to dim and allow him to recall the details. He glared at Ichabod. "And why the fuck were you out of the club on your own, anyway?"
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: pinkroses on May 08, 2011, 09:21:14 PM: Ichabod had lifted his gaze to look at Kerr as the Irishman included him as well in the discussion and he slipped his hands into his back pockets, his shoulders hunched defensively. When Kerr finally turned his wrath on his youngest fledgling Ichabod took in a sharp breath, but stopped himself from taking a step backwards. He shot a glance towards Ben before looking back to Kerr.

His first impulse was to blame Ben, to say the blonde had goaded him into it, but there had been other options, other choices and he’d chosen badly.

“I… I just needed to get out. Get some air, get… away,” from Ben “It was stupid. Sorry,” Ichabod said quickly, knowing that probably wouldn’t be good enough to a reason and hoping that Ben’s name hadn’t been picked up on.

"It\'s not like you didn\'t know where I was though. And I didn\'t just go off, I was just outside. There were still demons there," Ichabod added in protest, although he knew instantly he should have just left it as it was. But he knew he might have projected Ben\'s name before and he didn\'t want Kerr to round on Ben again because of it. Fuck knows what Ben would do then - it wouldn\'t be good for Ichabod though, the brunette knew it.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Trillian on May 09, 2011, 12:37:54 PM: Ben was disappointed with the way the argument had gone, but it felt like it was over now. He\'d said what he felt needed saying, except Kerr had taken it and waved it back into his face somehow.

After seeing Kerr rounding on Ichabod, and then hearing what Ichabod had to say for himself, he\'d thought that part of the argument was over too. But his blood brother had to continue on with justifications.

"It was my fault," Ben said, surprising himself with his declaration. Why was he putting his neck out for Ichabod when he\'d thought the other\'s choice to go outside was ridiculous at the time? "He wanted to go and I wanted to stay." This part was true enough. "I meant to join him sooner than I did." That part was dubious, but it wasn\'t like Kerr could claim it was false. Ichabod, however, could hang Ben out to dry by contradicting him. Ben had, after all, ordered Ichabod back inside. He could still argue the point, but it wouldn\'t look good.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on May 09, 2011, 04:41:37 PM: Kerr frowned at Ben, shocked to hear him accept responsibility for Ichabod\'s position outside the club. He didn\'t even need to be a mindreader to have understood that Cub had wanted to get away from Ben

Get away?
Away from what?
Gee, let me guess now... what are you always trying to find space away from...
Could it be... Ben?
Duhhhh!

yet here his lover and primary fledgling was, defending his blood brother. It was certainly a surprise and the Irishman blinked a few extra times than was necessary, beneath his frown.

Kerr agreed. He was sure it was Ben\'s fault that Ichabod had been out there on the street... just as much as it had been the younger fledgling\'s fault that he\'d reacted to something Ben had done or said. It was the way it always was, and it was as wearying as fuck. He ran a hand over his face tiredly, rolling his shoulders back in an effort to relax as the hand continued through his hair and latched on to the back of his neck.

"Fuckit, maybe it\'s time you two spent more time apart," he grunted, giving a little shrug of defeat as he looked between them both. His words more or less conveyed that he didn\'t really believe there\'d been a congenial decision made to split up, but he was beyond arguing about it any more. Ben and Cub had had enough of being forced together and their sire had certainly had enough of asking them to do it.

"Granted, not the wisest move with Lazarus back in town but, unless you want to lock yourselves in this tower, he\'ll find you if he wants to, regardless of you being paired or solo. I tried to send him off on Halwyn\'s scent but who the fuck knows how well that worked?" Kerr shrugged again, dropping his hand off his neck and hooking the thumb into the edge of his slacks waistband. With the other hand still on his hip, he looked like an extraordinarily well-dressed cowboy - hardly an appropriate posture for a two thousand dollar suit, but what did he care?

He looked from one to the other resignedly, expecting to be overwhelmed as they immediately leaped at the chance of being freed from the bond he\'d invoked upon them at the start of Ichabod\'s training - that they look out for one another, stick together in crowds, help each other minimise the pressures of being \'the Luminary\'s fledglings\'.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: pinkroses on May 10, 2011, 07:06:48 AM: Ichabod glanced towards Ben as the blonde leapt to his defence, unsure what to make of it. But he knew he should be grateful, even though no doubt Kerr would see right through the lie. Ichabod worried for a moment that the lie would anger Kerr further, but they were more fortunate than that.

At Kerr’s words Ichabod’s gaze turned towards his sire and a smile lit up his face. He knew he should try to hide some of his happiness, but he was ecstatic at the idea of not having Ben with him everywhere he went, not having to agree on where to go, not having to try to get along with someone he would rather stay away from. He tried so hard to get along with Ben, but they grated on each others nerves so much, they could both be on their best behaviour and would still end up snapping at on another. Even without everything that had happened between them Ichabod doubted they would ever have got along well.

But it wasn’t just about getting away from Ben. Ichabod was fed up of feeling like Kerr thought he needed a babysitter. Their sire must trust them both enough to allow this and Ichabod was determined not to let him down. He did manage to stop himself bouncing excitedly towards his sire and wrap a hug around his neck though, tricky as it was.

About time,
Thank God,
This is brilliant!

He didn’t try to project the thoughts, but they were clearly visible on his face, as well as the feeling of relief. He doubted they would go down terribly well said outloud or intentionally mentally - after all, they were still brothers, but what brothers really got along that well?

“Thank you, we’ll be fine alone. Even with Lazarus in the city,” Ichabod said, still smiling broadly, forgetting for now Ben’s guess that Lazarus would go for the brunette first, but the thought of the ancient did remind Ichabod of what he had wanted to ask earlier.

“How did it go tonight?” he asked, taking a small step closer to Kerr. He wasn’t sure if Kerr’s mood aftert the meeting had been just due to them or whether it was something Lazarus had said as well.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on May 10, 2011, 07:14:56 AM: Kerr gave a noncommittal grunt and shrugged one shoulder. "It went as it usually does. He doesn\'t seem to harbour any desire to be back here," he mumbled, swinging an elbow to indicate the foyer around them as he turned his thoughtful look upon Ben.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Trillian on May 10, 2011, 08:32:40 PM: To hear Kerr\'s declaration that they were better off apart brought a frown to Ben\'s face. So, that was it then. He\'d given up. As Ichabod spoke his obvious joy, Ben lowered his gaze and inspected the flooring. He wanted to mumble an excuse to leave so he could think about his relationships with each of them but hung around in order to hear the reply to Ichabod\'s question. He wanted to know how it had gone as well, and though he didn\'t expect details further than what they\'d already heard, he stayed long enough to see if there was a chance for more information.

Kerr had a quick reply, as Ben suspected he might. After a brief pause, he could feel eyes on him so looked up to meet Kerr\'s stare. Upon making contact with it, he slid his gaze to Ichabod and then back again. There was a hollow sensation in his chest and in his gut that he remembered well, even though it had been a long time since he\'d felt it.

He was ashamed. If Kerr didn\'t say anything in the next few seconds, Ben was going to make noises about going to the library and get himself out of the penthouse in order to straighten his thoughts out.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on May 11, 2011, 07:11:52 AM: Kerr didn\'t miss what seemed to be a pointed look from Ben - between Ichabod and himself - and he was puzzled by his lover\'s reaction. Watching him and trying to figure out what that sour feeling he could detect coming down their bloodline was, the blonde declared he was going to the library and it spurred Kerr into action as well.

"I\'ll travel down with you," he declared, "I left things in rather a mess to go and see fuckhead." He looked at Ichabod, standing closer to him, and stepped forward to grasp the fledge\'s upper arms gently. He swiped a vague kiss across the younger\'s forehead - not a typical farewell from him, to be sure, but he was not in a particularly loving mood with the pair of them at the moment - and stepped into the lift after Ben. Since the box had only just arrived there, it hadn\'t been called away.

He pressed the floor button he wanted as he walked in, then took up a position on the other side of the lift to Ben, watching him without too much emotion displayed on his face. You alright? he asked, because the lift doors were barely closed and he didn\'t necessarily want to speak in front of Cub. He wasn\'t sure why. It just seemed that Ben wasn\'t reacting too well to his freedom and it was fitting to begin the conversation in private.

Of course, it was a fairly non-committal kind of question and bespoke the fact that he wasn\'t in an emotional mood. If Ben chose to answer blithely, Kerr felt he wouldn\'t really care, at that moment.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: pinkroses on May 11, 2011, 07:33:16 AM: Ichabod’s happiness at being granted more freedom faded swiftly as he saw Ben’s expression and Kerr’s reaction. What was wrong with everyone?

His eyes slipped shut as Kerr kissed his forehead and Ichabod managed to stop himself from frowning, at least until Kerr had moved beyond him into the lift. The younger vampire slipped his hands into his pockets as he was left alone and slowly wandered further into the apartment, wondering what to do with himself now. It was tempting to go out… now it was permitted for him to go alone, but Ichabod suddenly wasn’t in the mood.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Trillian on May 12, 2011, 12:59:21 PM: Ben waited for the doors to close and for the box to begin its rapid descent before replying verbally, not having the mental stamina to reply to Kerr the same way he\'d been addressed. Considering his thoughts were revolving around what Ichabod and himself had been like historically (the part he knew, anyway), it was difficult to focus on a conversation.

"I\'m okay," he said, though the words travelled with a long expulsion of breath. He seemed like a man defeated, and he snuck a quick glance at Kerr to see if his words would be accepted or if Kerr would push further. Ben wouldn\'t resent him if he did, or even if he didn\'t. He did, however, give Kerr a helpful start as to what (or rather, who) was on his mind. "I\'m more of a loner than Ichabod, by nature."

Even so, he was sure the other fledge was celebrating the fact Kerr had given up on the pair of them being friendly.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on May 12, 2011, 05:14:23 PM: Kerr\'s gaze drifted away from Ben and he had to force down several bitter replies to that statement. He settled for muttering a dreamy, "Oh, I\'m well aware of that," as he stared at the floor number displayed on the LCD screen ahead of him changing in rapid descending order.

"I don\'t know that he\'ll move out immediately to give you all your space back, but I don\'t suppose it\'ll be too long," the Irishman remarked placidly, now sparing a glance for his lover. "He can have the Capital." He knew Ben would understand he meant their old apartment, in the Capital Building.

The statements were calm, offhanded, reinforcing that he was resigned to accepting whatever came from decreeing that his fledges could separate. It wasn\'t like Kerr had put too much hope into the three of them staying in the one home forever - especially with the way things could be going swimmingly one minute and the next his fledglings were at one another\'s throats. He\'d always known that Cub would need to leave them and he\'d always planned to put him somewhere close and safe, he\'d just never stated it out loud.

Really, it was a miracle they\'d lasted as long as they all had together, considering their twisted history. He didn\'t blame anyone more than he blamed himself for that; he shouldn\'t have listened to Ben tell him siring Cub was the way out of his despair (though it had been, really), shouldn\'t have trusted that they\'d all be able to play happy families considering the sex, the lies, the games they\'d played. He should\'ve ended it sooner, in all likelihood, but it was what it was.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Trillian on May 12, 2011, 07:31:17 PM: "I tried," Ben said edgily, not wanting Kerr to counter him. "I did try. He\'s unforgiving. I said sorry right away and he said okay, and he still holds me accountable. I\'m not even the same," he said, and these words were echoed back to Kerr from the few times he\'d heard his sire mention that Ben had certainly turned a few corners in his outlook and behaviour. The core of Ben was still the same, but he wasn\'t the inhibited, reserved prudish young man he\'d been when Kerr had first met him, nor the selfish, blase, promiscuous young vampire Kerr had rediscovered in New York.

"I don\'t know how he isn\'t different after so much passing time. Don\'t people grow and change? Is that why you\'re offering him the chance to move out and get away? Do you think he\'ll...

grow up?

flourish?"

Ben\'s mental shield wasn\'t up all the way, and he had to think about it to hold it up, so it was very likely Kerr had caught the disparaging comment overlying the nicer, diplomatic one.

He considered the fact that Kerr might make an issue of how Ben thought about Ichabod instinctively. The pair of them were a great deal more emotional and sensitive than Ben was currently. His emotions were a great deal more guarded.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on May 12, 2011, 08:03:13 PM: Kerr cast a sidelong glance at Ben, the corner of his mouth twitching merrily despite himself as he exhaled a snort of bemusement through his nose. He wasn\'t about to enter into the circular argument of who tried and who blamed who, for they all tried and they all failed but the point was the continuous trying.

At least, that had been important to Kerr, until the whole thing just became trying, full stop.

It amused him though, Ben\'s thought that Ichabod might grow up if left to his own devices, for it was exactly Kerr\'s thought. He\'d developed quite independently when he went away to college but, unfortunately, meeting Cole had steered him back onto a path where he was forcibly an ingenue once more. He likely needed time on his own to rediscover the person he\'d found he could be when on his own, independent of Lazarus, Kerr, Mandy... anyone upon whom the youngling had hung his heart and hopes instead of trusting in himself.

"I think he will, yes," he murmured, biting back the chuckle that burbled in his chest. He slid his hands into his pockets and fell quiet a moment before looking pointedly at Ben. "But I won\'t be pushing him out. Just offering him the chance, if he wants to take it," he warned, watching his handsome young lover with raised eyebrows, expecting agreement on that point.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Trillian on May 12, 2011, 08:41:32 PM: "And if he doesn\'t want to go too far from you?" Ben asked, thinking that the invisible lead that tied Ichabod to Kerr was a great deal shorter than the one that tied Ben to Kerr. Perhaps it would\'ve been different if Ben had been a full blood fledgling. Ben was more inclined to think that he was more independent. He liked to think the fact he and Kerr had come together time and again was due to a deep seated love that had nothing to do with the sire/fledge relationship. Ben was mostly right, considering he couldn\'t remember Kerr having sired him in the first place.

"If he wants to move down a floor, maybe?" Ben asked.

He didn\'t want to admit it, but if their positions were reversed, Ben wouldn\'t want to stray too far either. So much for independence. He would want to be near his creator. He would miss Kerr too much.

Hell, maybe he\'d even miss Ichabod.

But he doubted it.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on May 12, 2011, 09:36:44 PM: Kerr\'s lips twisted in silent contemplation of the question, just as the lift arrived at the library floor. When the doors slid open, he reached a hand forward to bar them from closing again, uncertain whether his conversation with Ben would take just a few more comments or whether it seemed a better idea for them both to step out of the lift and talk in the hallway. Either way, the lift needed to stay put for a little bit.

He shrugged. "I dunno\'," he answered honestly. "I don\'t see much point in just moving downstairs, for a break," Kerr hesitated, unspoken words momentarily hanging between them

from you

before he continued. "He might as well stay, if that\'s the case. I figured the point would be getting his own space, and I\'m not very far away from the Capital, here. You think he\'d opt for downstairs?" he tilted his head curiously.

What Kerr wasn\'t saying (because it was highly insulting to Ben - even though it was the truth) was that he felt everything centred around Ben and Ichabod\'s relationship and he was barely part of the equation. The two fledglings came to loggerheads regularly enough that their sire believed escaping that pressure would trump any distance Cub might wish to not have between him and his sire. Ben was likely too close to it, to see this side of things.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Trillian on May 27, 2011, 08:29:12 PM: "I don\'t know what he\'ll think," Ben said softly, but through clenched teeth. Ichabod was Frustration, capital F and all. His statement wasn\'t quite right, however. It was more Ben didn\'t know why he thought what he did. Ichabod didn\'t think like Ben did, and he was so much of a polar opposite to the blonde that he couldn\'t relate. At all. It didn\'t matter that they were blood brothers and connected in a way that would translate all their thoughts and feelings upon their uniting bond. It wouldn\'t have mattered if Ben had sired Ichabod himself. He would never be forgiven, he would never be considered having changed; he would always be evil in Ichabod\'s eyes. And Hell, it was likely the nasty side that Ichabod saw was real - it was more the problem that he couldn\'t see any of the good in Ben, that he couldn\'t see the benefits. Only flaws. He supposed he only saw Ichabod\'s flaws as well.

"No, he\'ll want to be further away from me."

There was no point mincing words.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on May 27, 2011, 09:56:07 PM: Despite himself, Kerr exhaled a breath of a laugh and the corner of his mouth lifted in the beginning of a smile. It seemed that Ben could always surprise him. The frankness was refreshing and the sensation lessened the coiled anger in him slightly, enough that he gave his lover a bemused look as the elevator door made its first run at closing, only to retreat once it sensed his hand in position.

"Well, I guess when I get back, I\'ll ask him and we\'ll both find out," he murmured, shrugging the shoulder opposite his extended arm and watching Ben calmly, expecting his fledgling to take his exit now.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Trillian on June 11, 2011, 05:04:41 PM: Ben nodded and looked at Kerr for a lingering moment. Was that tiny conversation the whole reason for riding down in the elevator with him? Was there something else he wanted to ask? It was true enough that the lifts at the Chambers dropped or rose so quickly it could put a supernatural\'s teeth on edge (usually the weres, or so Ben had overheard), so it was possible they\'d arrived at their destination before Kerr hadn\'t managed to spit out what he\'d wanted to say. Ben had learned enough about Kerr to know his sire sometimes would faff about the point before making it.

When nothing else came, Ben stepped out, just before the doors were about to close, and late enough that his exit made them ding

I liked the bong at the Capital better

and do a kind of shuffling close-open maneouvre before dinging again. He gave Kerr a big smile before the doors shut on his sire to transport him up again. He felt like his sire deserved a smile, considering all the crap Ben and Ichabod had put him through.

The smile was gone by the time he arrived at the library doors, however, which was really just an about face from the elevators.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on June 12, 2011, 03:03:05 AM: Once the lift doors closed, Kerr didn\'t push another button. He just pulled his hand back and stayed in the unmoving lift, slowly leaning forward to press his forehead against the cool metal in front of him, his eyes falling closed. He wanted very badly to get away from all this, quite suddenly. Away from bickering fledglings, convoluted relationships and awkward decisions and conversations. He wanted to be anywhere but where he was, with anyone but who he was with, doing anything but what he was doing.

Actually, anyone wasn\'t accurate. He wanted to go to Jenna. He wanted to knock on her door and wrap his arms around her when she answered it, bury his face in the crook of her neck, breathe in her scent and kiss her until she was breathless and he was...

Squeezing his eyes shut more tightly, Kerr shook his head and then opened them, straightening up away from the door and staring blankly at the column of buttons set in the panel to the side. He still had his keys, it would be just as easy to go down to the garage and drive to Jenna\'s as it would be to go to his office and work... he really had no interest in doing any more work tonight, after all the shit he\'d been through.

Sighing, Kerr hit the button for the penthouse and put his hands in his pockets, fingering the keys as he travelled away from one blood bond, towards the other. There was no time like the present, he supposed; he wasn\'t going to get anything productive done and he knew he was not in the right frame of mind to go and visit Jenna - in the mood he was in, he\'d end up trying to get her into bed and that... was just stupid and spiteful. He\'d regret it immediately, even if it seemed like a good idea right now.

Once the lift stopped and the doors opened again, Kerr strolled back through the apartment, feeling his way to Ichabod and taking a seat near him. "Mind if we talk? I have something I\'d like to ask you," he warned seriously, placing his hand on Cub\'s thigh.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: pinkroses on June 16, 2011, 06:48:11 AM: When Kerr returned to the apartment Ichabod was sitting in his bedroom, browsing on his laptop. Well, not exactly browsing, Ichabod knew exactly what he was looking for. He had plans, although he hadn’t voiced them to Ben or Kerr and tried not to think about them too much. With Ben always there it had felt like he couldn’t really do what he wanted to - he always had to be with the blonde, to focus on training his vampiric skills and the only other research he could do was inside the Oligarchy, unless he had a babysitter to go anywhere else.

But he had started his university course and then let it go, losing his focus with Cole and everything else. Now he could pick it up again with night classes at the local university, or at home work. He could carry over the points he’d earned before, but not indefinitely. If he wanted to use them then he only had a couple more years.

And, like Ben had been, Ichabod didn’t feel comfortable having to rely on Kerr for everything. He was grateful for it, for everything, but it would be nice to have his own cash, not to have to whip out the shiny credit card whenever he wanted the smallest thing. Maybe he could get a job, just a couple of nights a week. He didn’t have too much experience, but just doing something different, having a good excuse to get out, that would be a lovely change. And there was time - he could study a couple of nights, work a couple of nights, work on enhancing his vampiric skills the other nights, and come home to be close to the man he loved for the daytime. Well, as close as he could be, as close as he was allowed to be.

So when Kerr entered, Ichabod was half way through filling out an application for classes at the city’s university. He was going to discuss it with Kerr, but why not get a head start?

The young vampire put the laptop to one side, a smile on his face as the Irishman approached and he skootched to the edge of the bed, one leg dangling off the edge and the thigh of the leg Kerr put his hand on folded up underneath him. His smile faded slightly at Kerr’s words and his hand moved to cover Kerr’s.

“Sounds ominous… what’s wrong?” he asked, his dark eyes fixed on Kerr’s and a sinking feeling filling his stomach. Kerr wasn’t happy - which was too be expected with the events of the night, but he hoped they would be able to forget it and move on. Things hadn’t gone to plan, Lazarus appearing had thrown them all, but Ichabod had hoped this change would be a good thing. What had happened? Had Ben said something in the lift? What was going on?
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on June 16, 2011, 07:03:34 AM: Kerr wasn\'t in the mood for preamble, he wanted to know Cub\'s honest thoughts and so he didn\'t mince words, though he did offer a small laugh that faded quickly into an intent look after his first reassurance.

"Not ominous, don\'t worry. It\'s just... it occurred to me that you might want more than just freedom from Ben when you\'re out. If you\'re going to be independent, you might want to do it properly. I was wondering if you\'d like to live at the Capital apartment?"

His stare was steady as he watched his fledgling\'s expression carefully - though he was sure he\'d feel a reaction before he saw one.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: pinkroses on June 16, 2011, 07:28:52 AM: And there it was. Kerr would instantly feel the horror in Ichabod at this suggestion and if he’d had more blood tonight then it would have flooded from his face at that moment. Move out? That hadn’t even occurred to Ichabod and it definitely wasn’t something he wanted. He wanted to be close to Kerr - this whole set up was less than ideal but it was the best Ichabod could get right now and he was about to be shoved out of it. Kerr was phrasing it as a question, but Ichabod knew that this wasn’t a suggestion.

And living at the Capital Building? Alone? That was Kerr’s home, it was all him and Ichabod hadn’t lived there for all that long. It had been nice there, but it would be like living in the Luminary chambers alone - he would feel completely out of place.

“You want me to go,” Ichabod said, not bothering to even pretend it was a question, although it could be taken that way. He lowered his gaze, giving a tiny shrug as he pulled back his hand from Kerr\'s but not moving away from him further.

“Okay. If you think it’s a good idea.” He didn’t want to go. He wanted to stay here, to be able to sleep in the room beside Kerr every day, to be able to see him and know he was close. But he trusted Kerr and he knew his sire was upset with how his fledgings had behaved tonight. Maybe this was a sort of punishment. Maybe he deserved it.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on June 16, 2011, 11:02:04 AM: "I don\'t want you to go," Kerr argued impatiently, annoyed that Cub was saying one thing and feeling another. Their blond bond was crawling with the feeling of mourning, of Ichabod not wanting to go. He understood it, it had only been two years, after all, and Ichabod still had a great deal to learn - in no way did he desire his fledgling to be apart from him.

By the same token, he also had had enough of he and Ben bickering, but realised now that he could only hope that once their forced union was broken, that would lessen, too. Ichabod being free to roam alone would have to do for now, he saw.

"I just thought I\'d offer you the chance - if you wanted it. I\'m perfectly fine with you staying here, don\'t simper and agree if it\'s not what you actually want. Surely you respect me enough to tell me the truth?" Kerr chastised brusquely, reaching up to cup Ichabod\'s face in his hand. There was love in the touch, though it was stern, rather than gentle, and his gaze was equally so.

He wanted his strong, independent Ichabod back and coddling him was not the way to do it, he believed.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: pinkroses on June 16, 2011, 11:14:25 AM: “You know I don’t want to go, so why bother asking?” Ichabod said, frowning at the reprimand but not pulling away from Kerr’s touch. He tried so hard to make Kerr happy, to get along with Ben in an attempt to achieve that end but everything he tried on his own seemed to fall flat on its face and it was endlessly frustrating.

“I respect you. You know that too. And I trust your opinion which is why…” Ichabod shook his head, shutting his eyes for a moment as he tried to gather his thoughts. “You suggesting it implies you think it’s a good idea. I’m not agreeing because I think you want me to just be a good little boy and do what you say. I’m agreeing because… if you think it will help and I don’t have a better suggestion, why not. I‘d trust you with anything.”

Ichabod turned his face away from Kerr’s his eyebrows knitting together and showing his mood as he reached out to push down the lid of his laptop idly. Of course this wasn’t what he wanted, but Kerr knew how to make things work. He had centuries of experience and Ichabod had to trust him. This might make them happier. Maybe some time apart would make things better.

And if he didn’t go now he’d be constantly worrying that he should because it was what his sire wanted.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on June 16, 2011, 09:48:09 PM: When Ichabod turned his face away, Kerr allowed his hand to drop to the bed, mirroring the frown his progeny wore. What the fuck? He didn\'t want to go, he wanted to stay with he and Ben, but he would go, because Kerr thought it was a good idea and he respected him... what? It all sounded very backhanded to the Irishman and staring at Cub didn\'t make it any clearer.

"I thought you might like to try going back to being truly independent, that\'s all," he huffed, feeling a bit half-hearted in arguing, now that he wasn\'t really sure which way the conversation was going. He liked starting things with a clear purpose in mind - an anticipation, if you liked, of where the conversation would possibly go. A yes or a no had been in his head. What he got was... neither and both. On this night, such complications did his head in!

"I do think it\'s a good idea but only because you\'re limiting yourself here. Sure, we get to do plenty of training, but you\'re at the stage now where I don\'t have something new to teach you every night, you need to develop - and that can happen anywhere. And you don\'t go out to meet people, your old friends, you don\'t... well," Kerr\'s gaze broke off Cub\'s and fell to somewhere vaguely between them as he hit a stumbling block he\'d avoided speaking about for at least two years now. It really couldn\'t be ignored any longer, though. He looked up once more, managing to make eye contact.

"You\'re celibate. And I know you and I... " he broke off again, licking his lips and blinking rapidly as he contemplated how to say something when there\'d been an unvoiced agreement that nothing needed to be said. He and Ben had sex. Ichabod didn\'t. But Ichabod was always close by, and he and Kerr shared an intimate connection that ran a level deeper than his and Ben\'s (no matter how hard they\'d tried to artificially enhance it) and... there\'d been times when Kerr\'s mind had bled down that connection and coupled with Cub\'s and they\'d... partially shared a... climax. More than a couple of times, really.

But Ben had no idea - well, he likely suspected it, but he\'d very kindly never said anything if he did - and Kerr had never confirmed the fact that he and Ichabod occasionally experienced a vicarious fuck by way of his pleasure ebbing down a blood bond and enhancing Ichabod\'s auto-erotica. It wasn\'t really cheating, and he didn\'t think it was evil of him to want Ichabod to feel pleasure when he did, it felt very natural to share his happiness with his fledgling

ex-lover

when he felt it.

The thing was, it was no way for Ichabod to exist. He needed to get away and find his own actual sex life, because how could a relationship that only sort of, sometimes existed in his head be any good for him? He deserved real love and arms to hold him, a real body to be pressed against him, not a mental presence imposed briefly and then withdrawn after a very brief, intense connection was achieved. He wasn\'t seeking nor finding it when he was accepting his role as a third in Kerr\'s and Ben\'s relationship. A shadowy, ethereal third at best.

Kerr pressed his lips together briefly, gnawing on his tongue stud as he still couldn\'t bring himself to say what he\'d been thinking. It was like... if he didn\'t say anything, then it didn\'t really happen and he wouldn\'t have to make any awkward admissions to Ben. Best leave it swept under the rug, in that case... right?

"We share a connection," he eventually said, chickening out and keeping it vague and sterile. "But it\'s not real. You deserve real, sweetheart, to have a relationship and friends and a life beyond Ben and me - don\'t you want that? To be kissed? Held? Touched?"
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: pinkroses on June 16, 2011, 10:41:50 PM: Ichabod couldn’t keep his gaze away from Kerr for too long, but as soon as he met that look again he wished he could just hide away. He didn’t want to hear Kerr’s sensible reasons for thinking his fledgling should leave - surely him agreeing to it was enough? He’d said yes, why was Kerr pushing these reasons on him?

Maybe it would be nice to meet more people, more than the humans he was trying to feed from, whose minds he tried inexpertly to manipulate, or the people he ran into in the Oligarchy who could be interesting to chat to but who never had time for him.

His jaw set as Kerr almost voiced what they shared at times. Sometimes Ichabod wasn’t sure whether Kerr knew, but of course he did. How could he not? That was what gave Ichabod a spark of hope, one he knew he should squash down and ignore, but when he and Kerr shared that, how could he not believe that one day there might be more? Ben and Kerr had been apart before, Ben had left - maybe he would again and it wasn’t like Ichabod had a time limit on how long he could wait now. He had forever. But he tried to hide those thoughts as best he could and fortunately when he thought of it most often was when Kerr and Ben were… otherwise engaged.

“Of course I want those things,” Ichabod murmured. I want it with you. Ichabod’s cheeks would have flushed a bright red at letting the stray thought slip through, but the way his shoulders hunched up slightly, tensing, would show Kerr it was a mistake.

“I was going to apply to do a few remote courses from the university, I can carry over the marks from when I started before, do night classes here and stuff. And I could do that a few nights a week and still do training other nights and I could graduate in a year or so,” Ichabod blurted out, wanting to fill the silence before Kerr had a chance to comment on his mental slip although he doubted Kerr would just let it go. His black eyes fixed on Kerr were pleading with him to though and he hoped Kerr would understand.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on June 16, 2011, 11:04:59 PM: It seemed that they were both close to voicing the unspoken tonight.

Kerr knew as well as anyone that Ichabod was carrying a torch for him - he was of the belief that it was one of the main reasons the fledgling and Ben would never get on. Sometimes he thought it might be the reason, bigger even than the torment Ben had once inflicted on a hapless, mortal Ichabod (then he told himself he was being egotistical and to stop it).

He and Ichabod didn\'t speak of his true feelings beyond exchanging lingering embraces, gentle kisses and \'I love yous\' as they either headed off to bed or as the dawn rose up to numb them (on the rare occasions Kerr chose to spend the day in Cub\'s bed with him instead of with Ben). Just because it wasn\'t addressed didn\'t mean that he was ignorant to it being there, though.

Tonight, he didn\'t have the strength to discuss it, though. He\'d been blindsided by Lazarus, infuriated by his progeny\'s stupidity and blown up at them for being juvenile. He wasn\'t about to move into \'you know I love you, but not like that\' territory when they both knew the score and he was just weary of all of it. Of both of them, for that matter.

"That sounds wonderful," Kerr smiled, though it didn\'t reach his eyes, advertising the gesture as forced. "You could let me know which nights are best and I\'ll come to you at the Capital and train you there, sound good?"

Just the two of us
alone in the apartment where we first-
you took my man-virginity
-where we lived when Lazarus dumped you and broke your heart for good
should be fun
you and me
a bit like old times
what do you say, Cub?

The thoughts tumbled through his own head but travelled as a sensation of remembered warmth, of encouragement and positivity to his fledgling as he literally looked on the bright side of things.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: pinkroses on June 17, 2011, 01:52:25 AM: He lightly bit his lower lip and gave a nod as Kerr suggested coming over to Capital Building to train him. As he thought about it a little further a small smile returned to his lips. That would be good - he’d assumed he would have to come here to see Kerr, but if they were alone, away from Ben, that would be better. The feelings his sire were sending probably helped with that change of mood. Ichabod couldn’t help notice Kerr didn’t look too pleased with the idea though.

Ichabod reached out to place his hand on Kerr’s thigh, mirroring his sire’s previous touch, giving a tiny squeeze.

“Don’t… don’t just wait for me to ask you to come though? Anytime you want to come round… just come.” He didn’t constantly want to be the one inviting Kerr around, he didn’t want to feel like he was bothering his sire, asking him to come and visit. Then he would stop asking and he didn’t want to not see Kerr. It was going to be lonely enough living alone without that.

“You think, sooner would be best? I guess I should start thinking about packing,” he said, glancing around. He didn’t have that much - it would be mainly clothes to pack. He’d never really made this room in the Oligarchy all that homey, despite being here for so long and he doubted the Capital Building would feel all that much like home. It was full of Kerr’s things, which when Kerr had been there had been lovely, but without him it would feel like he was squatting in someone else’s house.

If he was moving out maybe he should do it properly. He could stay at the Capital Building until he’d saved up some money, then find a flat of his own. It didn’t need to be big, and he didn’t want to use Kerr’s money for it, but just somewhere that felt like his own. But he didn’t need to mention that until it actually happened, otherwise he knew Kerr would insist on helping out.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on June 17, 2011, 04:39:38 PM: Kerr cocked an eyebrow, wondering just how \'soon\' Cub was thinking. He didn\'t have the energy for it tonight but he supposed there was no point wasting time beyond that.

"Well, alright, how about tomorrow night, then? I have something to do early on but then I\'ll help you get everything over there and then we can talk about what you want moved out, put in storage, what sort of furniture you might want instead, what sort of car you want, what work you want done on the place, that sort of thing? I think the architects we used for here did a great job, would you be happy to give them another go?"

It was obvious that he assumed Ichabod would want to put his personal stamp on the Capital - that he wouldn\'t want it looking like the place he\'d lived with Kerr for a while, but his own home, designed his way. They\'d all worked together to redesign the Chambers penthouse to their tastes so it seemed entirely appropriate to the sire that his baby bird should want to shape his own nest once he moved into it.

The mention of something to do tomorrow night was only, at this stage, a vague idea; he was considering finding Halwyn and assessing whether the other half of the Apocalypse Twins was as disinterested in making a move against the Oligarchy now that his partner in crime had returned to town. He didn\'t know where the man lived... yet, but he had time to go downstairs and find a computer to do some digging. It wasn\'t like his fucking spy network was reliable enough to ask.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: pinkroses on June 17, 2011, 09:51:53 PM: Tomorrow? Ichabod had been hoping for a week maybe, moving usually took some time, but a large chunk of that was usually actually finding the place. Really there wasn’t all that much point in waiting when the flat was already ready.

“I don’t need a car, and it doesn’t need to change much, I mean… it’s your home, I don’t want to go trample all over it,” Ichabod said with a shrug. He had enjoyed helping redesign the penthouse, but hadn’t really done all that much to his space - picking out the wall colour and furniture, but the rest of the apartment was completely different. Although he would feel strange living in Kerr’s Capital apartment with it being exactly the same, he didn’t want to completely lose the feel that it was Kerr’s. That would just separate them more.

“You already spoke to Ben about all this?” he asked after Kerr’s response, guessing that was the reason for Kerr’s accompanying his golden boy into the elevator. Maybe it had been Ben’s idea in the first place.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on June 17, 2011, 10:42:10 PM: "Nonsense, you\'ll need a car to get around and you can use my personal one if you don\'t want a new one, I have plenty of others to choose from here," Kerr told him brusquely, reaching down and picking up Cub\'s hand, watching his own hand play with it instead of making eye contact.

He was really tired of the competitiveness between he and Ben and hoped that would fade once they were separated, but couldn\'t say as much. "I mentioned it. He didn\'t think you\'d want to leave - and he\'s as fine with you staying as I am," he insisted, looking up into Cub\'s eyes, but not going into the argument about him staying or going again. It was decided.

"Look, I have to go downstairs and check on something. When I come back... if this is going to be your last day here, I\'ll spend it with you in your bed, if that\'s alright?" he murmured, bringing his fledge\'s hand up to his lips and kissing the back of it, looking from beneath his lashes and into Ichabod\'s eyes.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: pinkroses on June 18, 2011, 12:49:25 AM: Ichabod pressed his lips together as Kerr told him he had to have a car. He’d done perfectly well without one for years, the subway was fine and meant he didn’t have to worry about parking when he went places. But just because he had one, didn’t mean he had to use it, there was no pint arguing about it.

He gave a tiny nod as Kerr said Ben was fine with him staying here. Of course he was. Ben was fine with everything, he had no problem with Ichabod at all, he never did. It was all Ichabod, he was the only one with the issues. Maybe it would be better to get away for a while, maybe he was paranoid and distance would give perspective.

He lifted his gaze as Kerr said he would spend the day with him and couldn’t help but give a small smile. It had been a while and he loved those days. They were too few and far between for Ichabod’s liking, but he understood the reasons behind that. Ben was Kerr’s lover, Ichabod was… fuck knows. But he would take what he could. Like always.

Ichabod shifted forwards onto his knees, wrapping his arms around his sire’s neck and pressing a kiss against his cheek.

You never have to ask if that’s alright, he replied mentally, holding on for a few seconds before pulling back. “I guess I got stuff to sort. You know where to find me when you’re done,” he said, rubbing a finger against his nose thoughtfully as he ran over what he did need to do. Not a lot really, but enough to keep him busy.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on June 18, 2011, 02:46:46 AM: Kerr gave Ichabod a tight squeeze as he was hugged, and stood when he pulled back, finding that little nose-touch endearing. He grasped his fledgling\'s chin and held his face steady as he leaned down and pressed a kiss to his lips.

"Okay. I won\'t be long," he promised and headed for the front door of the penthouse.

~*~
Interlude: A Gnawing Concern
(http://www.roleplaycity.com/forums/showthread.php?p=77690#post77690)~*~
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: pinkroses on June 27, 2011, 07:25:01 AM: Ichabod spent the next few hours emptying drawers and cupboards, piling up stuff on his bed, desk and the small sofa which sat in the corner of his room, carefully organising things into piles of things to take, things to chuck, things to go to a charity shop and items he hadn’t decided on yet. Maybe he should just take them with him and then decide later - or he‘d just shove it into a cupboard and deal with it one day.

A quick call to the service desk and soon Ichabod was provided with a few boxes and bin bags. The imp who delivered the items gave an offer of help, but it wasn’t too heartfelt and Ichabod wanted to do this alone anyway so the offer was rejected with a smile.

The young vampire and soon packed a suitcase and a few boxes - one containing a pile of folders and books from his university course - all set to go. Then there were two bin bags - one marked to throw out and the other to go to a charity shop, mainly things he’d brought with him but rarely used. He’d found a bottle of sun cream in the back of his wardrobe for fuck’s sake.

When he was finally finished Ichabod sat on his bed, leaning back against the pillows. He was wearing a pair of long pyjama trousers, blue checks and no t-shirt. His legs were stretched out, a large book resting on them. It was a book he’d found in the library, a study of Shakespeare by a vampire who had actually known the man.

Ichabod wasn’t really reading any more though. His fingers were playing with the gold chain around his throat, lightly touching the points of the Triquetra and slipping the Claddagh ring onto each of his fingers in turn, flipping it on each round without taking it off the chain. He never wore the ring on his finger, it would feel too weird - like he was pretending that there was something there when there wasn’t. And Ichabod did enough pretending without having something solid to show it to the whole world.

Without thinking about it, Ichabod was mentally reaching out, trying to pin point where Kerr was exactly. He and Ben went out a lot without Kerr, but this was going to be different. This was going to be days, nights, maybe weeks if Kerr got busy. And he was always busy. Every night it seemed like there was something else cropping up to cause Kerr grief. What if it just too much effort for Kerr to bother going to see his fledgling - the one who wasn’t his lover anyway. Would that affect their bond? Time and distance? But at least it was the same city. It could be worse.

But Kerr hadn’t said he would come see him off his own back. Ichabod had asked and Kerr had blanked that - maybe by mistake or maybe this wasn’t just a bit of space between Ichabod and Ben. Kerr probably wanted that space too.

Ichabod knew he was thinking about this too much and it would only make him miserable. He didn’t want Kerr saying he should stay because Ichabod didn’t know how much of that he could resist. Kerr thought this would make him stronger and Ichabod wanted to please him. That was all Ichabod wanted and so maybe Kerr had a point. Right now he only wanted what he couldn’t have. He needed to want other things and getting out would help with that. Right?

Or maybe it would just make him more unhappy. But he had to try.

Ichabod brushed a hand across his eyes, not wanting to risk any tears falling before Kerr arrived. The foul mood he felt Kerr was in, seething with anger had not been helping cheer him up. Ichabod needed to grow up and crying on his last day in his home was not something grown ups did.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on July 14, 2011, 10:57:46 PM: Although he imparted a few blunt wisdoms on Ben on the way back to the penthouse - that Ichabod didn\'t want to go, but he would, and that he\'d just fucking fired Brianna for mouthing off at him and not doing her job his way - he didn\'t get a lot back from his lover. Just a few wary looks and an appeasing kiss goodnight when he said he was sleeping with Cub for his last day.

It instilled a little bit of calm in him (which was likely Ben\'s intent, upon sensing his initial irate mood) and he relented a little, promising to tell Ben the full story at a later date, before he hugged him and left. He was still agitated, though, and somewhat regretful he wouldn\'t be sleeping with his lover. Of all nights, this would be the ideal one to end it with some energetic and soul-cleansing sex.

He\'d registered Cub\'s seeking mental tendrils as he\'d ridden up in the lift on the way to the library, but hadn\'t responded to them, knowing he was on his way and wouldn\'t be too long. His conversation with Ben had only taken about ten minutes in all. When he finally did get into the penthouse, Kerr knew he needed to calm down and that he was probably best to do that away from Cub but his fledgling was waiting for him so he went straight there, beginning to undress by taking off his jacket and loosening his tie. The jacket was looped over his left arm when he walked into Ichabod\'s bedroom, the tie being yanked forcefully off his neck.

"Sorry that took a while," he stated, taking in his fledgling\'s position on the bed before he tossed aside his clothes, toed off his shoes and crawled along the mattress to mostly lay atop the youngling. "Can this night just be over now?" he asked wearily, placing his head in Cub\'s lap and wrapping his arms about his waist from his horizontal position, seeking some badly-needed comfort.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: pinkroses on July 15, 2011, 04:26:46 AM: Ichabod felt Kerr coming closer and felt a wave of relief. He’d been almost teetering on the edge of telling Kerr he didn’t want to go, but Kerr’s presence reminded him of how much he just wanted to please his sire. So he’d be strong for him and suck it up.

Unsure of whether Kerr would come straight in or not Ichabod stayed where he was, trying to focus on his book until Kerr appeared and it was put to one side, a small frown on concern on his face. He’d felt Kerr’s anger and frustration and wasn’t sure how he would be now, although he seemed a tiny bit calmer.

“That’s ok, I had stuff to do,” Ichabod replied with a small shrug, before meeting Kerr with open arms as his sire crawled into his lap, wrapping his arms around Kerr’s shoulders, one hand gently stroking Kerr’s short hair, finding himself relaxing as he was right where he wanted to be. His heart sank a little as Kerr wished the night onwards, although he knew he shouldn’t take it personally. He wanted these few hours to last as long as possible.

The young vampire wanted to ask what had happened, but he knew part of the bad mood was due to him and Ben, so he held his tongue in that regard. His hand slipped down to gently rub Kerr’s neck, slipping under the loose neck of his shirt to massage the top of his back, the shirt stopping his from spreading his touch further.

“Is there anything I can do to help? To make you feel a bit better?” he asked in a soothing tone, making himself focus on Kerr rather than his own worries.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on July 15, 2011, 07:15:12 AM: Kerr laughed sourly as he rolled off Ichabod\'s legs and onto the flat of his back on the bed beside him, unbuttoning his shirt. "Take the mantle of responsibility off my shoulders and hire someone else to deal with the fuckwits?" he asked rhetorically.

"I just fired Brianna," he stated, his frown deepening. "She was good people, really, just... mouthy. And rude. And insubordinateyouknowwhat?" he ran his sentence together, his voice climbing the octaves in order to sound whimsical as he realised just how much he didn\'t really want to talk about what had just occurred downstairs.

He tilted his head to look up at Ichabod, who was now mostly behind him. "You can help me forget about all the bullshit by telling me what your plans for the Capital are and what night you think will be good for me to come and visit each week. I was thinking Wednesdays. I might go and have a shower though, would that be alright?" It would be obvious from his speech how much his mind was jumping and how badly he needed some soothing.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: pinkroses on July 15, 2011, 07:59:56 AM: “I’ll look out for someone suitable,” Ichabod said in a jokey tone, but the smile didn’t quite reach his eyes once he’d pulled his hand away like he’d been burnt when Kerr rolled away. He pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them and weaving his fingers together.

His dark eyes stayed fixed on Kerr as his sire began to explain what had happened, without really going in to too much detail. He could kind of get the impression of what had happened, but didn’t ask for more details since Kerr seemed content just ranting.

The topic changed without warning, but before Ichabod could get his head around the change and respond sensibly, Kerr had already moved on. What the Hell? One second he was talking non-stop, barely giving Ichabod a chance to put in anything and the next he was leaving.

Before Kerr could move Ichabod had moved to lie on his side, his legs curled up, draping an arm across his sire and resting his cheek on Kerr’s chest. He wanted to be supportive and make Kerr feel better, but letting Kerr go off and stew over it alone in the shower whilst he sat there feeling like a gooseberry was going to do no one any good.

“Wednesdays are good, and I hadn’t really thought about what to do with the Capital apartment yet. But I thought I might go in the other bedroom, because it might be… weird, but it’ll be fine, and I’ll have plenty of time to plan it out. And… do you have to go shower? It’s not… I’m going tomorrow, I just wanted to spend a bit of time with you,” Ichabod said in a rush, pressing his palm flat against Kerr’s bare chest as though that might actually stop Kerr from leaving.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on July 15, 2011, 10:17:30 AM: Kerr was quiet for a moment, giving the question some genuine thought and watching Ichabod quizzically. He didn\'t quite see why a quick shower to wash all this madness away would be so difficult for Cub to get through, but he decided swiftly that it was very necessary.

He could still smell Risk in his clothes, the faintest aroma of which would waft up at him every now and then and make him think of Lazarus, which led on to feeling angry, which made him think about his fledglings, which increased his anxiety even more, which then left him mulling over Brianna and... yes. He needed a shower.

"I do need one, to wash off every fucked up thing that started this night, so I can concentrate only on you," he told Ichabod seriously, leaning down and kissing his forehead. "But you can come with me, you don\'t have to stay here," he invited, not thinking it was a big deal for his fledgling to come into the bathroom and either join him in the shower or just sit on the toilet and watch him while he showered and dried off. It wasn\'t as if they\'d never seen one another naked.

He left it open to interpretation as he sat up and took Cub\'s hand off his chest, holding it in his own as he scooted towards the bottom of the bed in order to stand up and go to his own bathroom, to use his own soap and shampoo. If Ichabod chose to accompany him, he\'d hold his hand the entire way into his ensuite, if there were objections coming, he\'d drop the hand gently. "Maybe we could even have a spa?" he added belatedly, thinking it would be nice to spend some time in the huge spa bath in his bathroom.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: pinkroses on July 15, 2011, 03:43:38 PM: Ichabod hated when Kerr gave him that look - like he’d just said something completely ridiculous and Kerr was trying to work out the reasons for it, or whether there was some hidden meaning behind his words. Ichabod had never been one for hidden meaning though. He just wanted to curl up in bed with the man he loved (keeping his hands to himself of course because Kerr wouldn’t just forget about the man he loved) and forget that when the next sunrise came he wouldn’t even have Kerr nearby, let alone in the bed beside him. Delaying that with a shower, or risking Kerr getting distracted by something else, where was the point?

But, of course, Ichabod didn’t voice any of that. And knowing he shouldn’t, Ichabod gave a tiny nod as Kerr invited him along. Ben would probably hate it if he found out, and Ichabod knew he was torturing himself needlessly - watching someone you wanted this much shower? Or getting in a spa with him and knowing nothing would come of it?

“Spa sounds pretty good,” Ichabod said after mulling over that suggestion for a few seconds, smiling at the thought.

Fucking masochist.

“So do you have any idea who you’ll get to replace Brianna?” Ichabod asked as they made it into the bathroom and he dropped Kerr’s hand to wander over to examine the different kinds of liquids and powders available to enhance the spa, trying to distract himself from the fact that Kerr was probably about to keep stripping off. They’d seen each other naked often enough, but that didn’t make it any easier. In fact knowing what they had done before only made it worse.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on July 15, 2011, 04:00:24 PM: "Someone with a life," Kerr answered offhandedly, concentrating on getting the jets in the spa to turn on, nice and hot, nice and fast. He\'d even stopped dressing, in order to make sure the large tub was filling first. "Put the lavender in for me, please," he asked Ichabod, noticing he was looking at the oils and bubble baths he and Ben had accumulated. Lavender was his favourite scent and also a relaxant. He needed that.

Trailing a hand across Cub\'s back just as a means of retaining contact as he passed him by - heading for the dirty clothes basket - Kerr did indeed set about getting naked as he sighed and gave his fledgling\'s question a little more thought, answering seriously instead.

"I don\'t know, really. Whoever\'s next on the list that likes following orders instead of doing things their way, because their way is the one they deem to be the best. Oh, and hopefully someone who\'s physically younger than me, so they can\'t accuse me of acting like a child when I\'m angry enough to thump desks." That one still stung. He rarely got so furious he got physical but he doubted he ever would again, now. The way Brianna had spoken to him would haunt him for far too long, really.

Having divested himself of all his clothes, Kerr stepped up beside Ichabod to see how the water was going, his hand automatically in the small of his fledgling\'s back. He leaned a little closer and gave the area just behind Cub\'s ear a sniff, adopting a bemused face that almost showed a real smile. It wasn\'t too far away. He was almost relaxed enough to do it. "Have you already showered? Are you humouring me, my Cub?" he asked indulgently.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: pinkroses on July 15, 2011, 04:59:27 PM: “Wow, she must’ve really got to you,” Ichabod said as he poured a generous amount of the lavender scent into the spa, surprised that Kerr had let himself get so worked up. Kerr rarely got so angry that he reacted physically, and once he’d reached that stage Ichabod doubted being called a child would help anything. No wonder Kerr was so worked up.

He smiled as Kerr’s hand found his back and his sire sniffed at him. His shoulders hunched a little as he wriggled playfully.

“Maybe just a little. I couldn’t let you come through here and wallow alone,” Ichabod said, turning around to face Kerr, settling his hands on his sire’s waist, trying to ignore the fact that Kerr was naked as he gently pressed against him.

“And you know, someone younger could still accuse you of acting like a child, I mean, I could. It would be unfounded, and ridiculous, but her accusing you of that was probably that too,” Ichabod said with a shrug and a smile. He found it hard to imagine Kerr acting like a child when it came to something so serious. No doubt Brianna had just said it in an attempt to get one up on Kerr when she was pissed off.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on July 15, 2011, 07:47:59 PM: "I\'ll say," Kerr mused his agreement, watching the tub before him fill up far too slowly for his liking. Knowing he was impatient and that he probably still needed to keep moving a little longer, he told Ichabod he\'d be back in a minute and walked through the apartment to his fledgling\'s room, just so he could collect his jacket, tie and shoes.

He was back, with them deposited in the right places, in slightly less than a minute, thanks to his celerity, but feeling better for it. He considered that perhaps he should do laps of the apartment to get it all out of his system, but rejected it as a foolish notion. Ichabod would be highly insulted too, after expressly stating that he wanted to spend as much time with his sire as he possibly could.

Winding his arm about Ichabod\'s waist, he leaned against his fledgling as the water gushed into the tub at its fastest rate, steam filling the room (the hotter the water, the better in Kerr\'s opinion) and bubbles foaming happily on the top. The aroma of lavender was strong now, and it brought a smile to the Irishman\'s face. "More appropriate that people accuse me of being an old man, considering how much I love that smell," he joked, smiling down at Cub. "Ready to get in? I think it\'s full enough now!"

Without waiting for an answer, he started climbing into the hot water immediately, settling against the side that would face the bathroom door.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: pinkroses on July 18, 2011, 01:22:02 AM: Ichabod glanced after Kerr as his sire disappeared, frowning slightly. Kerr had said he would spend the day with him, but it was beginning to feel a little like he was constantly busy and wanting to get away - remembering he’d said he would stay with him was just an afterthought, a commitment he would be happy to get out of.

As those strong cool arms wrapped around his waist Ichabod leant back against him, inhaling the scent that filled the air and trying to make himself relax. Kerr loved him in his own way, just… he was distracted and given the choice there was no doubt in Ichabod’s mind he would pick to spend that time with Ben. He’d always appreciated any time Kerr could give him, knowing that was all he would get, but he didn’t want to feel like a burden. And he knew that was what it would be like when he moved out. Kerr would come around punctually every Wednesday night, because he felt he had to. And Ichabod would be so pleased to see him every time, but it would just be one of Kerr’s weekly tasks. Maybe not a bad one, but still.

He gave a smile as Kerr joked, and as Kerr got himself settled in the spa Ichabod slipped off his loose sweatpants and slipped in, positioning himself opposite Kerr and sinking into the hot water. He could feel how antsy was and tried to ignore it as he swirled his fingers through the hot water, focusing on that for a few seconds before looking across at Kerr.

“You’re all jittery still. You think this’ll help? You need distracting I reckon and… you don’t have to sleep with me today if you want to be with Ben,” Ichabod said, visibly tense as he said it and lowering his gaze as he said the blonde’s name. He didn’t want Kerr wishing he were somewhere else when they were together and Ichabod knew there probably wasn’t as much he was allowed to do to help distract Kerr as Ben could.

Maybe there was a little bit of an ulterior motive on his side of it too. When they were together Ichabod and Kerr couldn’t do anything, but when Kerr and Ben were just on the other side of the apartment Ichabod could feel Kerr and had a pretty good imagination, although it was no where near as good as the real thing.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on July 18, 2011, 07:00:58 AM: Kerr\'s expression was bemused as Ichabod more or less told him to go off and fuck Ben to get his jitteriness out of his system. It was tempting but unnecessary; the water was already doing its job and being with his fledgling was relaxing in itself.

Just the two of them, without tension and Ben nearby to disturb things, let Kerr feel his connection to Ichabod even more strongly, his yearning for proximity paramount. It was nice to be wanted so desperately and it felt good that his mere presence was enough to settle them both down.

"Cub, this\'ll work," he said firmly, smiling reassuringly at his progeny. Noticing the water lapping the top of the tub and that his field of vision was somewhat interrupted by bubbles, Kerr finally shut the water off and ducked under the water. When he resurfaced he was right in front of Ichabod, grinning and pushing the water back off his face.

"You can help, too," he hinted, turning his back and getting settled in front of his fledgling - sort of floating, sort of squatting on the bottom of the bath so that his ass occasionally bumped back against Cub\'s groin. He held onto the younger man\'s thighs to hold himself steady. "A massage would help," he announced mischievously.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: pinkroses on July 18, 2011, 07:40:12 AM: Ichabod relaxed more at Kerr’s reassurance, allowing himself to believe him. Kerr always seemed to know how to make him feel better, even when everything seemed so terrible.

As Kerr disappeared under the water Ichabod ran his wet hands through his hair, slicking it back. When his sire appeared right in front of him Ichabod laughed and splashed bubbles at him, but his smile faltered as Kerr backed into him, their bodies bumping together intimately and Kerr’s grip on his thighs sending a rush of desire through the fledgling.

Did Kerr have any idea what he was doing to him? Surely he would be picking up on this through their bond, but he knew exactly what Ichabod felt about him and always had. Ichabod hadn’t exactly hidden it and Kerr seemed to be encouraging him. Ichabod wasn’t about to pass up the opportunity to be as close to him as possible.

Ichabod’s hands settled on Kerr’s shoulders, although it was tempting to just wrap his arms around Kerr and pull him closer, nuzzle against his throat, find a fun way to work out that stress and say goodbye, maybe biting and drinking to increase their bond even more. He made no attempt to hide the mental image as he rubbed at Kerr’s firm shoulders as he had started to do on the bed earlier.

“You, uh, you said you would come every week… do you think you could stay over sometimes? Maybe? It’d be nice, even if there isn’t a spa there,” he said with a smile, hoping the idea wouldn\'t be rejected completely. Kerr would probably run it by Ben, who would most likely hate it.

But Ichabod reasoned there was no harm in asking as he scooped up some bubbles, rubbing the soothing scented liquid into Kerr’s tattooed upper arms as he examined the dragon tattoo on Kerr’s neck. He’d seen it before many times, but sometimes, on occasions like this, he forgot just how much power Kerr had in this city until he saw it again. He loved that it was held in place by a touch of magic and when that was removed the tattoo would disappear. He was powerful now, but maybe one day they could leave the city and all this stress and tension and just escape it all.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on July 18, 2011, 08:51:02 AM: "Mmm, I was thinking I probably would stay. And there\'s a spa there, in my bathroom," he smiled, his eyes falling closed as Ichabod\'s hands moved over his body. A moan escaped his lips as images of them drinking from one another permeated his mind, his hands running loosely up and down Cub\'s legs, surrounding him.

He honestly hadn\'t meant to stir desire in his fledgling - he didn\'t need any more trouble this night - but feeling hands upon him, legs around him and desirous, sensual thoughts sneaking into his head was rather more alluring than he\'d expected. So alluring he couldn\'t immediately find it in himself to put a stop to it and move away.

Kerr shifted position, bracing his feet on the floor so that he could lay back upon Cub, his head resting on his fledge\'s right shoulder. He leaned up to press a little kiss to his jaw before relaxing back against him once more, smiling softly. "We don\'t need to drink from one another to strengthen our bond, Cub; we\'re as connected as can be."
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: pinkroses on July 18, 2011, 02:17:23 PM: “Oh, well it’s been a while since I’ve been there, I guess I forgot,” Ichabod said as Kerr pointed out there was a spa there. Ichabid had never used it so he guess it must have slipped his mind. Thoughts of the spa disappeared as he realised Kerr had said he would stay over and Kerr’s hands moving on his thighs helped dispel those thoughts even further.

“No, we’re not,” Ichabod said softly. Maybe their blood bond was strong, there was nothing between them there which could be improved, but really anything they did was always going to have something hanging over to them. “Maybe it won’t improve our blood bond, but it would be fun,” he added in a more playful voice, not wanting to do anything else tonight to upset Kerr - although maybe this wasn’t the best way to go about that.

The fledgling wove his hands around Kerr’s waist, one drifting over his firm stomach, following the trail of hair downwards but forcing himself to veer off down Kerr’s hip instead of heading where he really wanted to. Ichabod turned his head to kiss Kerr’s forehead, since his throat was now too low, but his other hand lifted to stroke Kerr’s neck and collar bone, his eyes sliding shut.

“This is nice too though,” he murmured, relaxing back against the tub, trying to ignore the pleasant sensations of the pressure of Kerr pressed against his groin and the water swirling around them.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on July 18, 2011, 02:40:19 PM: Kerr chuckled, surprised - and somewhat impressed - by Ichabod\'s brazenness, insinuating that there were many more ways they could be connected. He hadn\'t expected his fledgling to be so forthright, and the honesty was refreshing (even though it left him in the awkward position of acknowledging he was the object of someone other than his lover\'s desire). His touches were a tease and had Kerr thinking things he knew he shouldn\'t, but he resisted the urge to roll over and make things a little more heated. For the time being.

"Well aren\'t you a minx when you want to be," Kerr murmured dreamily, smiling as he continued to loll upon Cub with his eyes closed, his hands trailing up and down his fledgling\'s legs still. The lavender, the heat and the quiet were all doing their jobs and he was feeling far more centred now, thoughts of the rest of the horrible evening leaving him as he focussed just on Cub, himself and the pleasant surrounds.

"I like it when you\'re strong. I can\'t say I like it when you\'re strong for me, because that would get me into more hot water than we\'ve got in this tub," he chuckled, feeling a bit freer to reference Ben when he was downstairs and unlikely to be focussed on what good vibrations Kerr might inadvertently send down their blood line, thanks to flirting with Ichabod. "But I do like it when you stand up for yourself. I\'m looking forward to hearing all about your adventures and, hopefully, a few new conquests when I visit you each week," he smiled, enjoying teasing Cub about finding someone who reciprocated his desire properly; at the very least, his fledgling needed to get more sex.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: pinkroses on July 18, 2011, 04:29:42 PM: Ichabod smiled at Kerr’s praise, loving hearing positives coming out from his sire, especially after such a negative night. He wanted to be that person, the one Kerr liked being with, even though it wouldn’t change anything. It was nice to imagine it might.

But his smile faded as Kerr went on and his took his hand away from his sire’s hip to run through his hands, frustrated. Kerr wanted him to… to what? Go out and fuck random strangers? To take home people he wanted to feed from just so that he had something to talk to his sire about?

“Yeah, ‘cos my conquests usually end up going to well,” Ichabod said, resting his arm along the back of the tub rather than letting himself go back to stroking Kerr’s enticing body. Especially after Kerr had mentioned getting into trouble - so why was he still in this position?

Whenever he went out, he felt like he should be trying to do more, but it was hard when he knew Kerr would feel it and Ben had usually been there. Ichabod knew it was self centred, but he’d always felt like Ben would be watching, judging, even when he was distracted by his own night.

He got too attached, too quickly and everything seemed to fall apart. Lazarus had been a disaster, when he’d slept with Kerr for the first time he’d pissed off Lazarus and Ben and at university he’d fallen into a relationship which had fallen apart completely and lead to Cole. He didn’t really have all that much experience and in the last two years there had been nothing. He could have fun with people, like Kerr had said, but with strangers?

“You know I’m a shit judge of character. I’ll try not to mess stuff up too much,” he said, trying to make a smile be heard in his voice although he wasn’t feeling it too much inside.

"But... did it occur to you, maybe I don\'t want to go out and just... fuck strangers?" he added after a moment\'s hesitation.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on July 18, 2011, 10:25:34 PM: Kerr swivelled around so that he was kneeling between Ichabod\'s legs, his left hand coming up to cup his fledgling\'s right cheek firmly. "Hey," he demanded, looking sharply into the dark eyes before him, "maybe your track record hasn\'t been great, but the one thing - the only thing - I have to thank Lazarus for is giving me you. Not everything works out so badly, don\'t be so completely negative," he admonished.

After allowing his stern words to sink in, his grip on Cub\'s face softened and he stroked his cheek, leaning forward to press an equally soft kiss to his lips before he pulled back. "Don\'t fuck strangers if you don\'t want to. Just don\'t deny yourself opportunities for relationships hoping and waiting for me," Kerr said plainly, his gaze beseeching. He rather hoped that Ichabod would scoff at him and tell him his ego was too big to be borne... that he was wrong. But he doubted that.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: pinkroses on July 19, 2011, 05:30:44 AM: Ichabod set his jaw as Kerr’s hand came up to grasp his face and his fingers curled around the edge of the tub as his hand which had been on Kerr’s body dropped to press against the bottom of the spa. He wanted to look away, to try to escape Kerr’s dark gaze, but he couldn’t make himself do it. He hated when his sire snapped at him, even when Kerr was trying to make him feel better… kind of.

He finally had the chance to escape as Kerr kissed him and Ichabod took the chance to squeeze his eyes shut. He didn’t want to hear what he knew would be coming, the lecture he’d heard a hundred times and told himself even more times. Don’t wait for him. He’s not yours. He loves Ben. And Ben will always be there. Even though he hadn’t always been there before. And he had moved on, he’d found someone and she’d fucked someone else, then he’d met Cole and Ben and Kerr had convinced him that was a bad idea.

But we have forever. I can wait forever.

His eyes opened again, meeting Kerr’s beautiful brown eyes. He hadn’t tried hiding the thought and he had no doubt it was one Kerr had caught him thinking before. Ichabod knew it was stupid, and he had tired so hard and would try again to live his own life, but he couldn’t help it.

Kerr had said countless times, he loved him, just not that way - but then why were they in the spa together? Why had Kerr being pressing up against him so enticingly, encouraging him to massage and touch him, and responding in kind?

He leant forwards to close the distance between them and return the gentle kiss and if Kerr didn’t pull back then Ichabod would lift a wet hand to cup Kerr’s cheek, deepening the kiss swiftly if given the chance.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on July 19, 2011, 06:34:12 PM: The truth in the statement resonated through Kerr\'s mind and it distracted him enough for Ichabod\'s lips to land. It was true. He and Ben hadn\'t survived five years without multiple breakups, Ichabod\'s odds were good that they wouldn\'t see out the century together... but Kerr knew he couldn\'t think like that, if he did, it would be he who doomed their relationship.

Rather than Ben?
....

But there were some times when he still wondered if they were meant to be... he\'d had to work so hard to bring Ben back to him each and every time and though Ben was still the only person he\'d ever truly been in love with, the scar tissue that had formed from their turbulent relationship had thickened that and... it tempered it. A little. Enough to concede that Ichabod had a point, anyway, and enough that he was so busy thinking these things that he didn\'t stop the kiss before there was a tongue in his mouth and he was kissing back.

He pulled back the instant he felt his body responding to Ichabod\'s pull, knowing the kiss would lead to much more, especially in their current predicament. Hands held faces and eyes met, heat and desire obvious but Kerr was doing his best to lock the emotions away, so that nothing travelled to Ben, while he got the situation back under control.

"Forever\'s not happening tonight," he warned Cub quietly, still frozen with his hand on his fledgling\'s face, hovering intently over him. If Ichabod didn\'t say anything immediately, he would begin his retreat to the other side of the tub once more.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: pinkroses on July 20, 2011, 06:52:10 AM: As soon as Kerr broke away and spoke Ichabod knew he’d acted rashly, he’d known even before kissing his sire properly, but he hadn’t been able to help himself. Ichabod swift slid his hand from Kerr’s cheek to cup the back of his neck, trying to keep him from pulling away and pressing his forehead against Kerr’s,

“I know,” he murmured, adding a stream of thoughts mentally.

I know
I’m sorry
I’m an idiot
Forgive me
Please
I’m leaving tomorrow
But whenever you want me
Need me
Don’t need him
I’ll be there
No matter who I’m with

“I’ll try what you said, I promise,” Ichabod whispered, although the idea of putting himself out there, trying to find someone else he could feel like this about… it seemed like a hopeless task.

He gave Kerr’s neck a gentle squeeze before dropping his hand down into the water, trying to hide the tremble he thought he felt there and letting Kerr retreat if that was what he wanted to do. Ichabod desperately wanted to run away to his room, but at the same time, he wanted to stay with Kerr, to show he could be strong like Kerr wanted him to be. He doubted he was doing a good job of it though.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on July 20, 2011, 07:12:32 AM: "Trying is all I ask. I just want... I hate seeing you miserable," Kerr admitted stiltedly, looking sincerely into his fledgling\'s eyes. He wouldn\'t insult Ichabod by wishing for rainbows and happiness forever, but having him feel a little less resentment towards Ben, a little more openness towards allowing others into his life had to be a start, surely?

"And you are leaving tomorrow, but you\'re never far from me; even if you were across the world, you\'re always here," he added, tapping his chest and giving Cub a meaningful look. "Now. Shall we get out before we prune and get to the part where I can hug you?" he smiled. He moved before he got an answer, knowing they hadn\'t been in the water all that long - and it was a shame to waste it - but things were getting a little too intense and they both knew it.

Better that he climb out of the tub, get Ichabod a clean towel from the cupboard and they dry off so they could redress and at least have pants between them while they were close. For whatever that was worth.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: pinkroses on July 20, 2011, 04:41:52 PM: “I’m not miserable,” Ichabod protested quietly. He’d loved these two past years, being connected to Kerr in a way no one else was, being allowed to be close to him, learning about his new existence. So there were a couple of negatives, but not all of living with Ben had been bad. Ben had been teaching him lots and they had tried to be civil with each other and most of the time it worked. It was just that when it didn’t, everything fell apart.

He gave a tiny nod as Kerr said he would always be with him, in a way. But he didn’t want to go all the way across the world. He wanted to stay close always. Even when Kerr said they would always be connected, he couldn’t help worrying that distance might lessen their bond.

As Kerr moved away Ichabod sunk deeper into the hot water, his eyes sliding shut. The lavender was relaxing, but it wasn’t as soothing has it had been ten minutes earlier. He waited for Kerr to get out, avoiding looking his way, not wanting to torture himself more than necessary, before standing up himself. He found a towel being offered and accepted it , wrapping it around his waist before scooping up the pants he’d dropped on the floor earlier, clutching them to his chest.

“I need another drink, you want anything?” Ichabod asked, already heading for the exit of the bathroom. Kerr had mentioned a hug, but Ichabod suddenly felt that wouldn’t be the best idea, not after what had just happened, not quite yet anyway. He just needed a few moments to gather his thoughts and get a hold on himself.

The fledgling padded barefoot across the apartment and grabbed a bottle of blood from the fridge (or two if Kerr\'s response had been positive) and stuck it in the microwave. He pressed his hands against the counter as the microwave whirred, lowering his head and trying not to think about what a complete idiot he’d just made of himself. What the hell had he been thinking? Kissing Kerr, it was fucking ridiculous. He knew better than that, it was just that he didn\'t want Kerr forgetting about him when he went away.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on July 20, 2011, 05:41:41 PM: "Sure," Kerr agreed, frowning as Ichabod left the bathroom while he was applying deodorant and finger-combing his hair. He sensed, based on that act alone, that Cub needed a bit of space from him, to recoup. Wandering into the bedroom, Kerr debated clothing choices, still disgruntled enough that he resented even having to wear clothes. But he did.

An old pair of cotton tartan (predominantly maroon) pyjama pants were withdrawn from one of his drawers and pulled on, the loose legs reaching his ankles and the waist elasticised for comfort, sitting low on his hips. His triquetra necklace was all that adorned his torso.

He shifted his weight from one foot to the other for a few moments, chewing on his tongue stud and trying to decide whether he should also have underpants on beneath the pyjamas, but eventually decided against it. Swinging free was how he liked to be... he cringed at himself as he walked out to the kitchen to accept the blood Cub had prepared and follow his fledgling\'s lead as to where they\'d consume it.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: pinkroses on July 21, 2011, 04:28:46 AM: Ichabod had realised he was still clutching his pyjamas as he stood in the kitchen and so left the bottles heating to disappear into his bedroom. He changed quickly into the loose blue checked pants he’d been wearing, considering for a moment pulling on a t-shirt, or even a jumper, but then decided he was being silly. He’d been wearing just the pyjama bottoms before, so putting on something on top might make more of a mountain of a molehill than necessary. Like Kerr, when he returned to the kitchen Ichabod only wore his necklace on his top half - although his triqueta was joined by the claddagh ring on the gold chain, as it had been since Kerr had given them to his fledglings.

Ichabod had managed to return before Kerr, tapping into his supernatural celerity without even thinking about it and not bothering to groom himself further, so his hair was messy where he’d rubbed at it with a towel and then not brushed it. As Kerr entered the kitchen Ichabod had poured the blood into two tumblers and was sucking a drop of blood from his thumb where it had dripped onto the counter.

“Hey,” Ichabod said quietly, turning to his sire and holding out his glass with an outstretched arm. “Uh… living room?” he suggested, gesturing slightly with his glass, wishing he could take back the last few minutes in the tub, but that was impossible and he’d screwed up. Again. If he hadn’t done that, maybe they’d be heading to the bedroom now to snuggle comfortably to talk for a while before going to sleep. Now he felt like they shouldn’t even be sitting on the same sofa.

Fortunately he didn’t have to decide on that as he reached the couch first and curled up in one corner of it, tucking his legs up underneath him and cradling his glass in two hands.

“I think I’m just about all packed up. I got a couple of bags of stuff that can go to charity shops or whatever, I don’t need them,” Ichabod said, trying to distract himself.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on July 21, 2011, 06:45:01 AM: "Sure," Kerr said yet again, beginning to feel slightly repetitive as he followed Cub out of the kitchen and sat down right beside him on the couch. He drank a generous mouthful of blood immediately, not wanting to draw overly much pleasure from the act... still, that insatiable beast within him always purred to be drenched in it and there was undeniable satisfaction to be found in the swallowing, a different kind of sensuality awakening his senses at the taste.

"Alright. While you do that tonight, I\'m going to go see Halwyn to try and get the jump on Lazarus seeing him - just to see how he reacts to the news - and then I\'ll come back for you and we\'ll head to the Capital, hmm?" he asked, taking another, smaller swallow of blood. The fact that Halwyn lived at the Capital made his planned route a little redundant but there was no way Kerr was going to turn up at the Irish vampire\'s apartment with his other fledgling, voluntarily.

Kerr lifted his arm along the back of the couch, his thumb rubbing up and down Ichabod\'s upper arm in small, gentle movements because he was still craving contact. "So you think you\'ll want to take one of the other bedrooms, not the main one? What about if we change the furniture or something? It\'ll be your place, I think you deserve the nicest room," Kerr mused, watching his progeny for his reaction. Certainly, it was the room he\'d slept with Ichabod in a few times, but also with numerous other people, would it really matter what memories lingered in that one, specific room?
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: pinkroses on July 21, 2011, 07:06:35 AM: Ichabod peered at Kerr over the top of his glass, sipping his blood slowly, forcing himself to go slowly. He had to work at it all the time, there had been too many close calls and Ichabod didn’t want to make a mistake that bad. That would fuck everything up more than a kiss.

Ichabod pursed his lips slightly, then gave a small smile, enjoying the gentle touch from his sire. He gingerly stretched out one of his legs, poking Kerr’s knee softly with his toe, grateful that Kerr was moving on to other subjects, even if they did involve Lazarus and moving out.

“I guess we could do that. I mean, I don’t want you to spend lots, just, like, rearranging it might be ok,” Ichabod said. Maybe a lick of paint - something to make it feel like he wasn’t a visitor and Kerr had just popped out for a couple of hours.

“And I know you always say I don’t have to worry about money and stuff, but I was thinking I might get a job, just a couple of nights a week. Keep me busy and out of trouble,” he said, letting himself get a little excited about some of the plans he’d been mulling over whilst he’d been packing and trying to distract himself.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on July 21, 2011, 07:13:45 AM: Kerr\'s eyebrows skewed as he raised the right one enquiringly at his fledgling. Seriously? the look said, his expression miffed. "I thought you wanted to study again?" he limited himself to asking, not wishing to offend Ichabod by telling what a fool he thought he was, for not taking advantage of all that his sire had to offer.

What the fuck had he done, to accrue himself two such righteous fledglings that they barely wanted to take anything off him, yet his former progeny had sapped him down to his will to live? Life was ironic, he supposed, and he should be glad they were so determined to be self-sufficient but fuck... sometimes it was nice to be needed, too!
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: pinkroses on July 21, 2011, 07:36:10 AM: Ichabod frowned slightly at the look on Kerr’s face, not understanding it/ Kerr wanted him to be stronger, to live his own life, but everything Ichabod seemed to do was wrong.

“Yeah, and almost all students work part time. I’m talking about a couple of hours a couple of nights a week. I’m not good at, like, just talking to strangers. I thought it might help me meet people, make some new friends,” Ichabod said, a slightly hurt look coming over his face. He was talking about minimum wage work, nothing which would mean he didn’t need Kerr.

“You don’t think I should?” he said hesitantly.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on July 21, 2011, 11:10:25 AM: Kerr\'s expression evened out once given the explanation and he looked enlightened. "Ah, well, now that you put it like that, I see where you\'re coming from and perhaps it would be a good idea. Vetoes the notion of me offering you work here at the Oligarchy too, if it\'s the work you\'re after but... yeah, the social interaction. I understand now," he smiled and nodded.

Ben still had his modelling contacts calling every now and then as well; hobbies were a good thing, Kerr decided. He probably needed some more beyond searching the internet for antiques and chasing down undead assholes he thought likely to disrupt his life... it made him uncomfortable to think about how one dimensional he actually was, once he gave it some thought, but he honestly didn\'t have the time (or enthusiasm) for much more. Ichabod moving out would stretch him even farther.

Kerr drained the last of his blood from the glass he held, letting his thoughts slide and roll across various topics like the blood seeping down the side of the glass in inconsistent smears. His ring clinked against the glass as it lowered and he looked sideways at Ichabod, frowning lightly. "Will you wear your ring when you\'re alone?" he asked curiously, spying it on Cub\'s necklace. He had no real motivation for asking, beyond curiosity.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: pinkroses on July 21, 2011, 04:35:00 PM: Ichabod relaxed a little and his smile returned as Kerr came around to the idea. He wouldn’t have liked the idea of working at the Oligarchy - he didn’t want to be the guy who got the job because of who his family were, and he was moving away from the Oligarchy, mainly because of Ben. And if he worked here then he would run into Ben more than he really wanted to. Ichabod had no idea what he would do, probably something menial and boring, but it would stop him from shutting himself in the apartment and only seeing Kerr when he came to visit or random nameless faces when he fed.

He sat quietly, enjoying the quiet whilst just sitting with his sire, when Kerr asked about his ring. Ichabod glanced up at Kerr, raising an eyebrow as his free hand moved to grasp the ring and triqueta together.

“I… uh…” Ichabod had no idea how to answer that. He liked wearing it around his neck, it stopped himself from having to worry about which way around he wore it. He guessed Kerr wanted him to say he would wear it with the heart pointing outwards, open to the world, and Ichabod had said he would be open, but really he didn’t want to go announcing that to the world when he would be content to just wait for Kerr. But he wouldn’t wear it with the heart pointing inwards because that would just be lying because he wasn’t in a relationship. His heart should be open.

“I like wearing it on my necklace. I’m used to it here now,” Ichabod said with a shrug, before finishing of his blood and leaning forwards to put the glass down on the table.

“Do you mind me wearing it like this?” he asked as he straightened up again, still fiddling with the items on his necklace out of habit, slipping the ring on each finger in turn up to the first joint.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: Existentially Odd on July 21, 2011, 06:37:40 PM: "No... I think it... well, it\'s... appropriate, I suppose?" Kerr mused, looking down at his own inward-pointing ring thoughtfully. The triquetra was a more accurate representation of their triangular blood bond but he also thought of the ring as cementing his relationship with both fledglings. He wasn\'t sure if there\'d been an actual pissing contest over the fact that Ben wore his and Ichabod had been relegated to carrying his over his heart instead; he\'d be disappointed if there had been (though not surprised).

"If you like it there, that is. But I didn\'t want you not wearing it because of Ben. I thought... maybe that was it but... it\'s not exactly a wedding ring. It\'s supposed to symbolise that we have a relationship, no matter what. You and me," he smiled, lifting the hand still holding his empty glass and pointing his index finger between them, back and forth twice. "And whether you wear the ring or not, whether we\'re under the same roof or not, that won\'t change."

With a demure sort of shrug, Kerr slid forward on the couch and collected Ichabod\'s glass in the same hand that held his. As he rose to his feet, he cupped Ichabod\'s cheek with his other hand and skimmed a kiss across his forehead as he strolled into the kitchen to leave the glassware on a bench. No doubt Ben would be annoyed that he hadn\'t bothered stacking them in the dishwasher, but he was too weary to care at that point. He went back towards the living room to collect Cub and take him to bed.
Title: Re: Brothers (continued)
Post by: pinkroses on July 22, 2011, 08:22:26 AM: Ichabod frowned slightly at the ring in his hands, but then forced himself to smile as Kerr said it symbolised their relationship. It showed the relationship between them, but to anyone else, if he actually wore it, it would show more than that and Ichabod lied to himself enough already without wanting to lie to everyone else. Wearing it around his neck meant it Kerr’s relationship was close to his heart always, but no one else needed to see how much he longed for something he couldn’t have. And Kerr’s didn’t just show the relationship between his youngest fledgling and himself, but it also symbolised his love for the blonde fledgling too.

Not wanting Kerr to pick up too much on his low mood Ichabod smiled at the kiss and touch and stood up as Kerr disappeared. He ran his hands through his hair, managing to smooth it down a little before his sire reappeared. He was exhausted from the night of highs and lows, and could feel the sun getting closer to the horizon in his bones.

As Kerr approached Ichbaod wrapped his arms around the Irishman’s neck, nuzzling with his nose at the cool skin of his throat, keeping his lips to himself for now, deep taking in Kerr’s scent in an intimate way. Ben would probably be arriving back at the apartment soon and Ichabod really didn’t want to see him right now - that would really end the night on a downer.

"You know I love it. Even if I don\'t wear it on my finger, I never take it off," he said quietly as he pulled back, allowing himself to brush a kiss across Kerr\'s cheek as he moved back.

After releasing Kerr’s neck, Ichabod slipped his hand into Kerr’s and they headed quietly into the bedroom. After they had settled into bed together, Ichabod half expected Kerr to slip out, whether to just say goodnight to Ben or to stay away, but he almost decided he didn’t mind. Ben had Kerr for now, but they were still completely connected and there was nothing Ben could do about it. And besides, Ichabod wasn’t about to make it easy for Kerr to sneak away as he curled himself around his sire, entwining their legs comfortably. Tomorrow would be hard, but it could only get better.