Dire Consequences

[Existentially Odd]

Once Brett had turned the key (still... so fucking slowly) and stepped aside to allow the vampire and his passenger entrance, he thanked the deskman by clearing his mind and sending him on his way. Kicking her door closed as soon as he was in mandy\'s entrance hall, Kerr then took his charge straight to the bathroom. She was no doubt suffering from loss of blood by now, if... but when he got her off his shoulder, he found that she hadn\'t continued to bleed as he\'d expected. Thankfully. Her wounds were deep but clean and her strong body was already beginning to repair itself.

He positioned her on the edge of the bathtub so that her bottom was angled over the white-edged space - holding her slack form upright with one hand while he unbuttoned his own jacket and shirt as quickly as he could. Negligently, he tossed them out the door onto the floor and turned the taps of the bath, ensuring that what came out of the spigot was warm before he put the plug in the hole. He positioned her lovingly against him while he dropped to his knees and waited for there to be ten centimetres of water in the bottom, then shut it off. Grasping a washcloth that had been draped over the plastic shampoo and conditioner holder hung around the shower head, he dipped it into the warm depths and began slowly squeezing the cloth over her back, watching the caked blood run down and stain her skirt even more (but he hadn\'t dared take that off without her consent) before it eventually made its way to the tub.

It would take a long time this way, but he didn\'t want to risk breaking the slight seal of coagulated blood in the cuts, by making contact with the cloth. Besides which, he was willing to be at her side for as long as it took (and as long as she would permit it).  His movements stilled suddenly, as she began to stir.

[Mandy]

Mandy shifted tentatively against Kerr`s unnaturally solid chest; oblivious to the fact that he was cradling her over the bath... oblivious to the fact that he was even there at all. It was as though she were waking from a dream -  a very bad, very heart wrenching dream - and (as with most early morning rousings) it took several minutes for her to register what exactly was going on. How her spirits plunged to find that none of it had been a dream at all...

She moaned - intimately reacquainted with the pain shooting mercilessly down the length of her back - frame shuddering soundly in it`s wake. How was it possible for a wound to hurt more with the progression of time? Shouldn`t it be the other way around? Alas, being whipped was not an experience the pink-haired clerk was overly familiar with, so perhaps this was exactly the way it was supposed to feel.

It appeared as though the immortals knew their punishments well.

  Wincing (in an attempt to regain the full use of her consciousness) Mandy found herself swimming in a sea of confusion and doubt. Where was she? What had happened? The last thing she could recall, was staggering along on the street... falling... and then, nothingness. Had she passed out - did she die? Was... was this the afterlife...

 Just as the promise of panic threatened to take over, she was granted the mercy of distraction...

A most unusual sensation fingered itself slowly down the length of her spine - beginning with her shoulder blades and spreading out across the surface of her wounded flesh. It was warm... calming. Water? She shifted once more as a second sensation registered against her cheek... this one a great deal firmer and cooler to the touch. Such differing extremes... soft and warm as compaired to hard and cold. What in the hell was going on? Frightened to open her eyes (but desperate to understand) Mandy forced herself to search her surroundings.

  She was home (the clerk would know that horrible shade of duty pink wall paint anywhere) and somehow - sitting on the edge of her bathtub. So it was water she`d felt before. But... how did she end up here?

Focusing her eyes, Mandy suddenly found herself \'face to face\' with the abrupt windings of a vibrant, blue design... a tattoo?

"Kerr?"

She murmured the vampire`s name; gradually becoming aware of his naked arm pressing tenderly against her equally nude breasts. She`d not died... and he`d not abandoned her. Tonight would not mark the beginnings of the end after all... she was alive! Kerr must have carried her home after she`d passed out - and now, was suspending her over the basin-filled tub - diligently tending to her wounds. If it hadn`t been for the pain (and lingering feelings of resentment) Mandy would likely have embraced him in a flood of emotion and utter relief...

[Existentially Odd]

"I\'m here," he told her tenderly, pausing in his ministrations to turn his head to the left and look at her. How he wished to press his lips to her temple, to comfort her with kisses and soothe her with murmured nothings... but that was not his place now. He was lucky that she didn\'t come back to awareness kicking and biting him, swearing that he should get the fuck away from her, given the circumstances; such thoughts helped him fight off the urge to lean into her and embrace, like he wanted to. He merely remained as he was, supporting her with his left arm, right arm currently propping him up via the edge of the bath, waiting for her to continue speaking.

"I thought I\'d... try and wash you... a bit cleaner. Is... that alright?" he asked, his voice little more than a whisper as he anticipated her fury... or her ambivalence. Either would be as damning.

[Mandy]

Mandy winced against Kerr`s words, willing the weight of her head from his shoulder with a great deal of prejudice. Her neck was stiff, and as it appeared, any measure of movement at all would not be tolerated by the posterior of her ravaged body. In fact, it took every ounce of strength that she possessed to simply accomplish this movement... though it would prove exceedingly worth it in the end - especially since she had no idea how to answer Kerr`s question. She didn`t know if his aid was \'alright\'...

   Mandy was just so confused.

 Back at the hearing, she`d not been permitted any measure of time to analyse the bombardment of information offered her, nor opportunity to form proper opinions on the facts as they were presented. All she understood for certain, was the way that the details made her feel.

She knew she was hurt - she knew she was angry - but she had no idea as to the actual why of it all. Was she hurt because Kerr had elected to keep so many secrets from her - or was it the manner in which she was made to find out? Was she resentful of him because he`d seemingly shared his intimacies with at least one other mortal (that she knew of) - or was it how she was made to pay for Kerr`s easily swayed affections with the price of her own flesh? She wasn`t sure... but these were things Mandy certainly felt she was entitled to sort out for herself.

Unfortunately, such soul searching would take time. And Mandy was not so entirely naive as to believe herself beyond the need for assistance (at least until the majority of her wounds were healed).

   So... as much as she desired to pull away from Kerr`s supportive arm - to ask him to leave, (that she might organize the torrent of thoughts and emotions reeking havoc in her mind) she realised that she was stuck... caught between a rock and a hard place, as they say. It was a lose - lose situation no matter how you looked at it. If she forced him to leave now - she would face the impossibility of tending to herself over the next few days alone - risking the chance for infection, but if she allowed him stay... then she opened up the possibility of misleading Kerr into believing that everything was alright and that the vampire was forgiven - which he most certainly was not... not at this point anyway.

In the end... reason paved the way for her eventual submission.

   Mandy nodded in defeat, unable to find a single reassuring word for her immortal companion. She wasn`t ready to speak to him...not yet. The hurt (both physical and mental) was simply too overpowering to chance getting herself all worked up over, and (considering the fragile state of her mind as well as her normally overly-emotional tendencies) the chances for such a blow-out were high. So, whether she liked it or not - Kerr would have to remain at her side for the next little while, and any soul-searching Mandy Lynn needed to accomplish - would predictably, have to wait...

[Existentially Odd]

He sensed her angst; it was like a lead weight sitting squarely in his chest, that would neither rise nor fall until she had come to terms with things. Such a task was certainly beyond question at this early stage, though, so he merely returned to his former actions, carefully washing down her back as if his concentration were so dire he could scarcely afford to look away. He had to change the bath water soon enough - he was aware that she wasn\'t really up to such delays, except he couldn\'t tell where the blood was washing away or still sticking, the water had become so red - but he didn\'t talk to her about it. He doubted she would want to know.
 
Once the new lot of water had turned pink, he was relatively satisfied that her back was clean. He was unable - and unwilling - to wipe it, but the welts were clearly delineated, their edges puckering, and there was no longer any goo coating the pristine flesh between. He leaned back to look her in the eye, his own expression shuttered now. He felt it unnecessary to continue making mournful eyes at her; he\'d decided that he needed to make it easier on her to despise him. Or at least ignore him, for the sake of her own recovery. He would only accomplish that if he acted in the most business-like of manners.
 
"I think your back is relatively clean now. Do you have any antiseptic cream you\'d like me to apply to the wounds? I feel they would do best left open to the air, I\'m sure you don\'t want anything pressing on them yet, either. Do you want me to help you to your bed or would you like some time... alone? In here, perhaps?"
 
He\'d faltered at the last, damnit! He knew he shouldn\'t have strayed from the semantics of wound recovery and offered her time away from him, but it had been a natural thing to say. Of course she would like that, but was she up to it?

[Mandy]

She held perfectly still as Kerr attended to her wounds; ever mindful of the warm water pouring generously down the length of her torn and welted back. The temperature felt good, the water pressure felt good... being home felt good. Never before had she been so happy to be back in the sanctuary of her cramped little apartment, but then again... life had a way of changing people`s minds.
 
Against her better judgement, the pink haired clerk eventually surrendered to the soothing properties of her cleansing; eyes drifting shut in what was to be the first wave of relief Mandy had experienced since before she and Kerr had both been collected from the park. Even her mind found itself succumbing to the ease of her companion`s gentle efforts - dropping all thoughts of heartache and malice (if only for now). There would be time enough for such feelings when she was more up to the strain.
 
Just as she was about to drift off - the masculine timber of Kerr`s voice echoed hypnotically through the tiny bathroom and into Mandy`s ears...
 
"I think your back is relatively clean now. Do you have any antiseptic cream you\'d like me to apply to the wounds? I feel they would do best left open to the air, I\'m sure you don\'t want anything pressing on them yet, either..."
 
She was embarrassed to admit it, but even though she worked in a hospital - Mandy had no antibacterial or antiseptic creams of any kind. One would be hard-pressed to find so much as a band-aid in her arsenal of supplies! Perhaps it was because she had easy access to such items in the ER, that she`d never bothered to stock any in her own cupboards? But no matter. As long as the welts were clean (and thanks to Kerr, they were) there would be little chance of infection... assuming she didn`t tear the natural seal her body had created or lay on her back in bed.
 
"I... I have nothing," she explained, wincing slightly as she spoke. Even the act of conversing caused her discomfort! Christ, it was going to be a long road to recovery...
 
"...Do you want me to help you to your bed or would you like some time... alone? In here, perhaps?"
 
Time alone? In here?
 
Mandy blinked, Kerr`s words suddenly reminding her that she was in the middle of her cycle. She`d nearly forgotten about it, what with all the drama and despair going on around her. That being said... a moment alone to \'freshen up\' was certainly in order - especially since she realised that the vampire could likely sense the exact nature of her present affliction. Afterward, she could get out of this blood-stained skirt of hers and into a fresh pair of pyjama pants... then lay out across her stomach on the bed.
 
Gripping tightly at the edge of the bath, Mandy made to push off - climbing weakly to her feet.
 
"Alone," she mumbled, gritting her teeth as anticipated waves of pain ripped mercilessly down her spine. "I need to use the bathroom..."
 
 

*****

She emerged - winded and extremely pale - several minutes later... inwardly terrified that she`d managed to re-open one (if not all) of the wounds on her back. Damn it, how she hated this. She hated needing Kerr when all she really wanted was a chance to sort out her feelings for him - for them. Now, she`d have to ask him to re-examine her injuries. Nothing like swallowing one`s own pride repeatedly over the span of a single evening.
 
Shuffling out into the main living area of her flat, Mandy clutched protectively at her breasts (concealing them to the best of her limited abilities) and searched reluctantly for Kerr. Where was he? There were only so many places he could be, given the limited space her apartment provided.... was it possible... had he left?
 
She teetered (still light-headed from the loss of blood) before aversley calling out the vampire`s name.
 
"K...Kerr?"

[Existentially Odd]

Immediately, his head appeared from the kitchenette, followed swiftly by the rest of him as he strode over to... what could he grab? Chagrined, he looked over her arms folded across her chest, seeing that she was wavering from exerting herself but as fast as his gaze flew, he couldn\'t define an appropriate and painless handhold with which to support her. Stepping behind her, he went for the safest option - gripping her hips. If she flopped forward, she would wrench her lashes apart (and he could already see a new trickle of blood leaking from the highest one, across her shoulder blades) but he was counting on her having at least enough consciousness left in her to get to the bed. He\'d already pulled the covers back for her, in preparation.
 
"I was feeding your cat and looking to see what food you had, in case you were hungry," he murmured as he manoeuvred her to the bed and watched her carefully lower herself onto her stomach upon it. The relief in her expression caused an inward sigh in his own mind. "I just need to get a cloth - you have some blood... " he told her, but he was already gone. He returned in the blink of an eye and wiped at the small rivulet on her back with the greatest amount of care and concentration he\'d exercised yet (that evening, anyway). He didn\'t allow himself to be deterred when she indicated that it caused her pain but he did ease off. Just a little.
 
When he was satisfied it had coagulated anew and that she wouldn\'t be lying there with blood coursing down onto her sheets, he returned to the bathroom and rinsed the washcloth beneath the sink\'s tap. His reflection in the mirror looked pale and hideous in the light; he snapped the light off with more satisfaction than was warranted upon his exit, regretting that Mandy also had to see him like this. Thankfully, her eyes were closed when he got back to her bedside. He felt himself nothing less than a hovering nuisance as his hands fretted at one another while he bent down to speak with her.
 
"Can I... get you anything else? Are you hungry? Do you want me to do something about these lights - leave some on, turn them off?" he asked, hoping she realised that it would make no difference to him one way or the other. He also didn\'t want to state such blatant truths, to touch on anything too stressful; inference would have to be the extent of it. Vampirism - the \'v\' word - certainly fell into the taboo category right now, he was sure. Though it could have been classified as denial, he preferred to think of it as... complimentary ignorance... a polite glossing over of stark facts that had been used to brutalise to the point that they no longer deserved attention, from either of them.  Yes; he\'d certainly been quite the enthusiast when they\'d entered the apartment and he\'d flicked everything on because he didn\'t have time - or the patience - to mimic what she usually used to light her home.

[Mandy]

Mandy wasn`t hungry... far from it really, what with her stomach turning as it was - but the severity of the lights could stand extinguishing...

   "The lamp..." she mumbled feebly, gesturing in brief to her bedside table, "The rest can go."

She realised after the fact, that her sketchy request hadn`t exactly come across as clearly as she would have liked - her directions to turn on the table lamp, and turn off the rest, somehow lost in her limited translation. To her great relief however, Kerr seemed to have gotten the gist of her meaning - shutting off all but the small Tiffany light stationed primly on the table to her right. She sighed (with a mixture of pain and ease) as it`s muted glow flooded the limited space of her apartment; casting lengthy shadows upon the adjacent walls and furnishings in it`s wake. That was better...

    Moments later, she could sense that Kerr had return to her side - Mandy suddenly aware that he would probably require an answer to his first question before she would finally be permitted to rest.

   "I`m... I`m not hungry," she whispered against the fabric of her pillow, "I have everything I need, now." It was a lie; for even as the words had left her lips, the mortal found her mouth to have grown impossibly parched. She licked thirstily at the cracked and splitting petals, too proud to admit that she needed a glass of cold water before he left... too proud to ask for the vampire`s help, again. Instead, her eyes darted instinctively toward the digital clock resting below the lamp.

4:17am... where had the time gone?

   "You should go before it gets any later," she murmured, her chest filling with a volley of mixed emotions, "Please make sure Artemis doesn`t get out when you leave..."

[Existentially Odd]

Seeing her licking her lips was all the indication he needed that she required water - he was gone before she\'d even finished instructing him not to let the cat out when he left. Naturally, he still heard her strained voice in the still apartment (with his hearing) but he didn\'t respond as he opened cupboards and searched first for the biggest drink container he could find, then the fridge to see if she had chilled water within it. When he spied a large bottle of the clear stuff, he abandoned the cup (well... it was more of a jug, really, but he wasn\'t particularly au fait with his kitchenware) on the bench and brought that out to her. He set it on her bedside table, noting that she was about ready to fall asleep.

He knew he should just turn and walk away.  Right then.  Say nothing more, just go. But she looked so vulnerable in the muted glow of the lamp that... he couldn\'t help it. He couldn\'t fight these urges to make things better, even though he consciously knew it was impossible. "I\'ll be back tomorrow night, okay? It won\'t be immediately because I\'m going to try and get your keys back. Mine too. Do you... d\'you think you\'ll be alright \'til then?  Because I was thinking... perhaps you should come with me, to my house?  So I can be with you all the time."  He swallowed nervously after the offer was made, unsure how she would take it.

[Mandy]

Mandy`s heart skipped an impossible beat as the latter of Kerr`s words managed to penetrate the vail of her drowsiness - touching a particularly sensitive nerve deep down in the core of her soul. Had she heard him correctly? Had Kerr actually offered to bring her home with him... to stay by her side, at all times? It didn`t seem possible, not when you observed the great pains he`d taken to keep her away at the start of their relationship. Perhaps this was nothing more than the wishful conjuring\'s of her sleepy mind?

  She shifted minutely atop the mattress, turning just enough that she might observe the vampire`s expression - desperate to determine if what she`d heard was real.

  He stared intensely back; face brimming with what Mandy could only assume to be creases of anxiety. From having invited her to his home? Did he regret presenting the offer now... or was he simply worried by what her reaction might be? Both were justifiable reasons for concern... though the dread of waiting for a response was probably weighing far greater on his mind than a slip of the tongue. Quite frankly, she couldn`t blame him - upset as she was (and no doubt the vampire was already aware of her indifference).

   She wanted to blurt out an emphatic "No!", to wound him as deeply as she`d been wounded in the last forty-eight hours - by men with guns, by those in power, by secrets and deceit....by him. She wanted to yell at him, holler that he should to go to hell and leave her to alone to suffer as she would. After all, why should Kerr be permitted any piece of mind? Why should he find relief knowing that Mandy was safe and sound in his home, under the watchful eye of his keep? Why should he get off so damn easily in all of this?

She wanted desperately to tell him out-right - "no"... but she couldn`t. And her weakness in the face of something so consequential, wilted her spirits beyond recognition.

   Damn this heart of hers! Damn it, and the part which wanted for nothing more than to dismiss all the pain he`d cause her and envelope him tightly in her arms. To forgive him and be allowed to move on with their lives - together. It was small - this hopeful and optimistic place (a large portion of it having died back in that oval room where Kerr was tried and sentenced) - paling in comparison with this new cynical side that had developed during the trial... but for what it was worth... it was strong. Not so strong however, that she was prepared to let it be the guiding force in her decision....

   Instead, the gears in Mandy`s mind got to cranking - eventually coming up with a more acceptable reason for entertaining the idea of going with Kerr to his home.

Sawyl.

Would this Sawyl person he laid such desperate claim to, be present in his home as well? Considering the way Kerr had spoke of him before in the park, she`d be surprised if he weren`t. Perhaps if she went against her better judgement and agreed to go along - she might be able to solve at least one piece of this heart-breaking puzzle she had yet to complete. It might even bring her one step closer to closure... or madness - depending on what she discovered. But seeing as she really had nothing else to loose...

   "What... what about Artemis?" Mandy soughed weakly - trying to mask the fact that she was privately interested (for more reasons than one) in accepting Kerr`s offer (despite the voice of reason screaming for her to decline).

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr blinked in astonishment.  Not only had she not outright refused his offer, she\'d brought up something he hadn\'t given any consideration to.  What about the cat, indeed... ?  A moment of thought led to a very swift answer for her, his tone unabashedly accommodating as he gave her an answer he hoped was acceptable.  Of course, he\'d also considered the effect Mandy would have on his household, but he was ready to defend her presence there.  He still had quite a few choice questions for his sire, as it was.

"Well, if he gets by in your apartment, I\'m sure he\'ll be alright confined to my room with you.  It\'s not much smaller," he explained, knowing that he\'d have to put Mandy in his bedroom for access to the ensuite.  Whether he stayed in there with her or not was entirely up to her - but he assumed that he wouldn\'t, both because he didn\'t fancy disturbing her by sleeping in the bed with her (no matter how large it was, he might still bump her inadvertently), nor on the floor as a gesture of politeness.  Not in his own home.  He\'d sleep with Sawyl.

[Mandy]

She considered his solution in silence, taking everything that she knew to be truth into calculation.

   Regarding the cat... he was right.

 Artemis would likely have no trouble adjusting to the slightly smaller space of a bedroom (given the already too small area he presently called home). Cats were adaptable like that. It was what made them such wonderful house-pets in the first place! But it wasn`t the lack of space which suddenly concerned Mandy. It was the idea that they would be held up in Kerr`s room.

A room was a very personal thing. People tended to spend a great deal of time there - hours on end while they slept, dressed and prepared for the day (or night). Because of this... Kerr`s room would likely carry the unmistakable body of his scent, and she already knew how Artemis reacted that particular fragrance in the comfort of their own home. To force him to endure a place where he could not readily escape Kerr`s vampiric presence, would most probably leave the tiny animal a shaking and nervous wreck. So as considerate as his offer was... the cat would have to stay.

  She shook her head at last, wincing in brief as she turned further still in search of the tiny beast.

 "I`d feel more comfortable if he stayed," she began, her voice hardly a whisper as she deliberated - reaching painfully for the bottle of water resting to her right, "I`ll see if Barry can pop in on his way to work and check up on him until I`m back..."

[Existentially Odd]

"I... would look in on him each night," he stammered, unsure why she didnt want the cat at his house - did she think he might drain the kitten\'s blood for fun?  Surely not! - further shocked by the notion that she really did seem to be agreeing to come with him.  Could she mean now?  Right this second?  A jolt of pleasure shot through him at the thought - he would feel far more comfortable not having to travel to attend to her, despite the lukewarm response she was likely to get from his family, and have her close by at all times.  She deserved his attention, round the clock, as it were.

"I-if you... want to come with me... that is... ?" he added awkwardly, dropping to his knees beside the bed so that he could look squarely in the eye and see what she really felt about the proposal.  Subconsciously, he was leaning quite close to her face, his expression hopeful.  "I\'d... very much like it, if you did."

[Mandy]

"I-if you... want to come with me... that is... ?"

 So he wanted her to tell to him directly (in no uncertain terms) what her wishes were? It served to frustrate Mandy beyond all comprehension.

How dare he try to coax the clerk from her perch of spiteful silence? Did he want her to openly admit her desire to stay at his home... force her to acknowledge that she was afraid to be left alone given her current state? How despicable a thing (if it was in fact, done on purpose). Strangely enough however, her more optimistic side doubted that it was.

   Swallowing a large lump forming in the back of her throat, Mandy quickly struggled to find just the right combination of words in which to accept Kerr`s offer - without sounding overly pleased...

   "I can hardly move," she began, her voice slightly winded as she paused to consider the bottle of water, "And when I do, it hurts more than I can stand," She allowed her gaze to lift decrepitly from the bottle - falling upon the weary features of her vampire companion crouching but a few inches away. She would agree to go with Kerr, to his home... but she would not do so without making him feel guilty for her condition first, "Want has nothing to do with it... I need your help, if I`m to survive."

  Perhaps it was a bit overly-dramatic, but this was Mandy`s way... and what better time to be theatrical than now?  Her statement served to communicate a desire to go with him, while throwing a hand-full of salt in the wound as well. But just in case she`d not been forward enough for the vampire`s tastes...

   "I won`t survive another jaunt out on the streets... so, if you intend on taking me tonight - I suggest you hurry back and bring a car - the sun will be rising soon...."

[Existentially Odd]

He didn\'t have the wherewithal to be elated - his emotions had been wrung like dripping sheets until there was not a drop of moisture left - but a rush of... relief was his for the claiming, when she made herself clear. He didn\'t resent her wording; it was perfectly justified as far as he was concerned. Immediately, plans formed and he knew he needed to follow her advice and act on them immediately.

"I\'ll be right back," he promised, reaching over to cup the side of her head in his hand, brushing her forehead tenderly with his thumb. Like the memory of happiness then, he was gone.

Continued with a solo link here.

~*~

When he returned, he brought the van, with it\'s specially fitted seat that ran the length of the vehicle to accommodate the conjoined twins.  Mandy would be able to lay along it easily.  He let himself into her apartment - he\'d left the door unlocked - and headed for the bed, unsure whether he would find her asleep or ready to go... hoping for the former.  If he didn\'t have to converse with her or endure any more of her snide comments for the rest of the night, it would be a welcome relief.  Of course, he was also of the opinion that he was beyond feeling now.  He felt much like he had upon his embrace; thoroughly drained but existing via extraordinary, magical means.  He felt... unreal.