New Zealand

[Trillian]

Since arriving in Australia after leaving Tom behind at the lake, going their separate ways, he\'d done nothing but party hard at the beach house, inviting any stranger that he happened upon, being a great deal more promiscuous than he\'d ever been in his life (but still practising safe sex), and trying not to think about the vampire who seemed to take up his mind at every waking moment (and sometimes in his dreams, he found to his frustration). Even while having sex he\'d called out Tom\'s name, only to be told: "I\'m Ryan, you asshole," after the guy had finished fucking him. That had probably been the lowest point, and so he\'d tried with no great success to kick everybody out, but when he\'d come across an ashtray full of cocaine, flushing it had moved them on, with great noises of discontent. How the hell had he let things get out of his control like that? Drugs? He hated that shit.
 
He had to clear his head; he had to do something extreme; he had to see Tom.
 
It was only a short hop from Australia, three hours flight, and a more exotic location for all his mates to come from all over the world. He\'d messaged all of their cell phone numbers, his heart skipping along at twice the speed when he\'d added Tom\'s number to the recipients list. His message had told all five of them that he was going to New Zealand for the white water rafting trip, the day he\'d be there and where to meet.
 
It was evening of the day they were supposed to meet and all four of them had showed up. First of all Marshall and Nick, then Dex, then Chant arrived at one in the afternoon. The day had come and gone and obviously Tom couldn\'t come during daylight hours, but even after the sun set and Tom was still nowhere to be seen, Reed was still hopeful for he still had an hour because they were leaving for the rapids at eight.
 
He was outside, staring at the carpark that had most of the spaces filled with 4WDs. He was bundled up in an oversized furlined parka and bluejeans, cursing the New Zealand spring that was colder than his Australian winter. "Where the fuck are you?" he whispered, his heart growing heavy when he began to face the possibility that his buddy might not show.

[Existentially Odd]

A cab pulled into the carpark at 7:20pm, holding one frowning vampire and his gear.  Tom was pissed because he\'d hightailed it out of the U.S. about two hours after he\'d got Reed\'s message - and an hour and fifty minutes after he\'d decided that the house\'s renovations could continue without him present, so he\'d handed the keys over to the foreman and left them to continue fixing the walls and painting them at their leisure - and had planned to arrive early.  To spend some time with his friend before the rest got there, and tell him about everything he\'d accomplished.

Unfortunately, delays and air strikes and fuck knew what else had brought his flight into Auckland far too close to dawn for his liking, so he\'d had to wait all day and then get his ass to the meet point.  The cabby was shitting him to tears because he hadn\'t known exactly where this adventure company\'s base was - but he\'d assured Tom he\'d be able to find it - and had pulled over twice along the way to get directions from his dispatcher.  The bullshit just didn\'t fucking end!

He was calmer the moment he saw Reed pacing around the entrance, a half smile automatically finding its way onto his face.  He even found it in him to tip the driver five bucks, then grabbed his backpack and got out of the back of the cab.  He hooked his right arm through the shoulder strap to carry his pack - unable to resist slamming the taxi door as he did - and sauntered over to Reed, his left thumb automatically hooking into his jeans pocket.  He wore his usual boots beneath them and a blue pullover above.  He had on his calf-length suede coat too, because it was fucking cold.

"Hey," he greeted as he arrived at his friend\'s side, throwing his left arm around his shoulders and giving him a brief, back-slapping hug - as was the tradition in their group.  What wasn\'t traditional was the way he drew back and gave Reed\'s shoulder an extra squeeze and held it a moment longer than was necessary as he smiled down at his friend.  "How\'ve you been?"

[Trillian]

Reed watched the cab pull up, his mind yammering \'Tom\'s here, he\'s arrived, here he is, he\'s going to get out now\' even while he couldn\'t see properly who was in the back.  He resisted the urge to stare at it, instead moving his gaze to the other end of the carpark staring at nothing in particular until the taxi-cab door slammed which brought his gaze back to it.
 
He noted the way his body warmed as though sinking into a hot tub when Tom\'s familiar shape was strolling leisurely towards him.  Muscles relaxed, his heart began pounding a little faster and he managed a twitching smile before grinning against Tom\'s chest when they made their usual greeting, his stomach flip-flopping as he pulled back and his shoulder was squeezed by a lingering hand.
 
Without realising he was going to, he glanced around in the direction of the group\'s assorted rooms, to see if anybody was looking at them.  Then he looked back at Tom.
 
"You\'re late, you prick," he said good naturedly.  The desire was strong in him to offer to help Tom unpack but he held his tongue, not wanting to be overly obvious and wondering why the taxi hadn\'t pulled out of the carpark yet.  What was he looking for?  What did he expect to see?
 
Reed\'s smile faltered until he looked back up at Tom, then it returned full force.  Fuck, he\'d come.  Go figure.  Though Reed, who\'d wanted Tom\'s presence so badly, started feeling awfully self-conscious.

[Existentially Odd]

"Yeah, don\'t get me fucking started," he growled, rolling his eyes at the reference to his tardiness.  "Fucking flights were delayed and I had to wait to get here - naturally," he added, not mentioning his vampirism but implying it was the problem they both knew it to be.  He frowned, his hand going into his coat pocket as he looked Reed over from head to toe.

"I\'m not too late though, right?  Like... it hasn\'t started yet?" he asked, not really concerned if the rest of the guys were there and waiting for them, or had gone on without them - or hadn\'t turned up at all, for that matter.  He was insanely interested in what Reed was thinking... doing... feeling, and couldn\'t be bothered worrying about if he\'d upset any of the others.  He glanced at his watch as he asked these questions, knowing the meet time had been eight o\'clock.

"This an organised tour with hard accommodation or what?" he murmured, as he checked it wasn\'t close to eight yet.   Tom referred to sleeping circumstances as hard or soft out of habit - soft meant tents and they had to be of fucking exceptional thickness to get him there, and hard meant cabins or rooms of some sort.  Walls and floors and doors.  Since Reed had set it all up, he didn\'t really have to ask but it was a habit and he liked to know what was going to be expected of him.

[Trillian]

Reed watched Tom as he... behaved like Tom, talked like Tom, was being Tom.  It brought a cheeky smile to his face for some stupid reason.  Being around Tom had always been fun but now there was this weird extra element to it, and even though he liked it, it worried him.  He felt like being around Tom made him behave, talk and be not himself.  Was he changing because he\'d let the guy fuck him a few times?  He\'d accused the vampire of being clingy, but what the hell were these feelings that made his heart soar and this stupid smile appear on his face like some kind of retarded asshole?
 
"Hard," he said, sounding like himself but wondering if there was some kind of innuendo to his word, even though he hadn\'t meant there to be.  Just in case Tom saw more than there was, he pulled his gaze away from him and looked in the direction of the rooms their buddies were in.  "The group\'s all in the common room, playing pool or something.  They\'re ready to leave when the van gets here."  He glanced at the taller man.  "I... I can show you to your room, eh?" he offered, feeling a bit weird about saying such a thing but walking off without waiting for a reply.  He\'d rented out all the rooms and handed out the keys, for he\'d been given them all.

[Existentially Odd]

"Cool," the vampire agreed amiably, hurrying to catch up with his friend and walk at his side.  "I bought a house," he said mischievously, grinning down at Reed.  "It\'s not much right now - but it will be.  I decided to keep it small and shabby looking, so I didn\'t have to worry too much about security, but the inside\'s being refurbished while I\'m here," he babbled.

What the fuck was he doing?  He hadn\'t meant to say anything!  He hadn\'t even meant to say he\'d bought a house, yet it was the first fucking thing out of his mouth?  What the fuck was that all about?!  His expression didn\'t change from his leading smile, but internally something thoroughly miffed raged at him.

[Trillian]

Reed didn\'t look up at him at this news, but his eyebrows shot up to betray his surprise.
 
"A house?" he repeated, not questioning the truth of the statement but rather getting it through his head that Tom, the greatest wanderer out of all of them, had settled down.  "In that fucked up city, I bet," he continued, then felt like a heel.  He didn\'t want to insult Tom, but the words were already out and he couldn\'t take them out.  It made it harder to look at the vampire so he looked at the room keys he pulled out of his pocket instead.  He separated Tom\'s one from his own and stepped up to the door of Tom\'s room.  It was painted a light blue, like the others.
 
He inserted the key and turned it, letting himself into the room and flipping the light switch at the door, revealing an open plan room that was so cosy it was downright tiny.  It was a long narrow room that ended with the bathroom facilities at the far end.  Everything (a breakfast table with two chairs, a double bed and a bedside drawer along with a chest of drawers) was on the left except for a bench that was used as a luggage table on the right.  Reed pointed it out and moved further into the room so he wasn\'t blocking Tom\'s entrance and sat on the bed.  The colour scheme was almost nursery style in its pastel joy - yellow, light blue and light green.
 
It was still comfortable though for the room size, though small, had quality furniture in it, and was the closest motel to their white water rafting destination.

[Existentially Odd]

The vampire dumped his backpack on the luggage rack with a confident toss, kicked the door closed behind him and took off his coat as he glanced around.  He didn\'t look for long, more interested in continuing his conversation with his friend.  He threw the coat across the pillows of the bed and sat beside Reed, turning and looking at him as directly as he was able.

"Of course," he grinned, not offended by the labelling of his new home city as \'fucked up\'.  He\'d have expected nothing less, from the man who\'d hated the place with such passion.  This new thought gave him a moment\'s pause, though; if that hatred was still high, did that mean Reed wouldn\'t come and visit, as he\'d alluded he would?  Tom\'s gut dropped with the disappointment of that notion becoming a reality and he frowned slightly as he put a questioning hand on Reed\'s knee.  "You\'ll come and see it when it\'s done, right?  You said you would... last time."

After I drank from you and fucked you again.  Laying in your bed... you said...

But what if that had just been the afterglow of great sex?  What if Reed had just been humouring him?  What if he\'d gone to all this trouble and got himself stupidly excited over a visit that would never eventuate?  He licked his lips, feeling suddenly nervous.

[Trillian]

There was something in Tom\'s tone that made Reed pay close attention to him. The question hadn\'t sounded like the kind of question Tom would normally ask. He sounded insecure. There was something about the change in him that both relieved and frightened the fuck out of Reed. They were both weird about what had happened
 
twice
 
between them. Neither of them really knew where it was going, if anywhere.
 
"Yeh, I\'ll see your house," Reed promised, smirking. He felt suddenly superior to the vampire, though his mood seemed to fluctuate depending on who was asking what, or saying what. Being here, in Tom\'s room, no longer out in the open and listening to his desire to see Reed again, helped Reed deal with whatever it was between them a little better. Still, his heart continued to pound hard in his chest, as though every little word was important. "I wanna know what kind of freaky shit you\'d put in your own space," he said, seeing if Tom would relax now that the promise had been reconfirmed.

[Existentially Odd]

"Fuck you," the vampire answered good-naturedly, relaxing to the point where he withdrew his hand, hooked the leg closest to Reed up on the bed and wriggled to face him more fully.  "So far it\'s got nothing in it, and I don\'t plan on filling it with bullshit.  I mean, it\'s still only going to be somewhere to hang out in between shit like this, right?" he explained, the question rhetorical and accompanied by a comfortable shrug.  He had no intention of living there at the sacrifice of his current adventuring lifestyle, that was for sure; it would just be a base.

His head tilted then, and he looked at Reed very frankly, through heavy lids, his tongue toying with his lips as he tasted the words he felt compelled to say next.  If he had a heartbeat, it would surely have sped up in that moment, as he contemplated coming out with the little tidbit of honesty his mind had been working over on the entire flight to New Zealand.  An apology, of sorts.

"I... figured out what it was with your blood, by the way.  Thought you might like to know - you were the first I\'d tasted since that alcoholic bitch back in the city and your blood\'s so pure, well... it went straight to my head."  He was careful not to add just to his statement... because Reed wasn\'t \'just\' the first he\'d had, he was still exceptional, in his eyes.

"I\'ve had a few different tastes since Switzerland and they\'ve been close, so I realised that I was probably... a bit overzealous, hounding you.  You\'re definitely the best but... I don\'t need to taste only you to be fed properly, I can make do.   What I\'m saying is... I\'ll behave.  This trip," he promised, his voice intimate in its sincerity, because of the topic and... because he wasn\'t tempted to broadcast these words any louder than it took to get them across the air that separated he and Reed.

He wanted to get things off on the right foot and not have them arguing like they had in Switzerland... not have Reed avoiding him for three weeks, then having a night of feeding and fucking before separating again.  That had felt... wrong, in the end.  He didn\'t want it again.

[Trillian]

At the obscenity, Reed grinned, stopping himself from chuckling.  He leant back onto his hand, the one that allowed him to face Tom as the vampire faced him.  He studied the way Tom gave him that sexy expression and smiled knowingly in response to it.  As Tom\'s speech progressed however, the smile faded and he simply listened to the explanation given him.
 
He didn\'t know that he necessarily liked the way Tom\'s apology had gone.  He recognised it for what it was and most of him was relieved that Tom wouldn\'t out him unnecessarily, but at the same time there was disappointment in him.  A few different statements seem to spring out at him.
 
Tom had realised that his blood was pure but there were others he could feed off.
He\'d been overzealous, hounding him.
He\'d behave this trip.
 
Reed didn\'t know what to say to that.  He stared at Tom for a bit after the vampire was finished, then his gaze dropped to his lips.  He wanted to lean forward and kiss them but something inside him screamed that Tom would pull away.  He was straight after all.  Fucking was part of feeding, still, and they\'d not kissed yet, if it would ever happen.  Reed didn\'t want to lean forward only to have Tom pull back.  It sounded too much like a breakup speech anyway.  He pulled his gaze away to look at the door (painted yellow on this side) and said: "That\'s cool.  Better get your shit organised too, because the guide\'ll be here to take us to the rapids in a bit."
 
He stood up.

[Existentially Odd]

The vampire frowned at Reed, sensing he wasn\'t happy but he was playing it off like it didn\'t matter.  Did it matter?  It occurred to him for the first time (stupidly, when he put some more thought into it) that Reed actually had enjoyed himself when he\'d fed.  Despite being royally pissed off with him last time - because the others might find out he was gay - he\'d relented when he was ready.  And he\'d enjoyed the sex.

Reed was... disappointed?  Here was Tom, thinking he was doing the right thing telling his friend he wouldn\'t make any moves and Reed... maybe wanted him to?  He\'d always known they got on very well together and the blood had made everything so much sweeter, but he finally began seeing things from a different perspective.  It was a bit... eerie, really.  It also put an instant dampener on what he\'d been contemplating as an offer to his mortal friend.

Instinctively, he stood when Reed did, and stepped up behind him.  "Unless... you don\'t want me to behave?" he said, not quite game enough to wrap his arms about his friend but leaning down to speak quietly against his ear.

Fuck, he\'d never pass up a chance to feed from his friend... no matter what he had to do for it.  He shocked himself, then, realising he was content enough to go through with sex to get it.  It all worked out pretty well, in the end - even if it wasn\'t everything he might have with a woman.  The blood was superior and the orgasms... well, he couldn\'t complain.

[Trillian]

Reed was feeling irritable, but it didn\'t show in the amused light of his eyes or the twisted grin on his lips after Tom whispered in his ear.  Instead, he looked at Tom with a kind of resigned glee and replied rather candidly:  "Since when have you given a fuck about what anybody but you wanted?" he laughed, then headed for the door.
 
It was a good response, he felt, but he felt like shit.  Tom had done that to him and the question at the end was too little too late.  It was like the age old: we can still be friends, if you like.  If Tom found himself in a situation where Reed\'s blood would save him, then of course he could have it, but Reed wasn\'t going to go out of his way for the vampire.  Not when he\'d been so purposeful in his little speech about how much Reed wasn\'t needed.  "Get ready, you cunt.  You\'re going to keep us waiting."
 
He went for the door.

[Existentially Odd]

He was so busy processing the statement that he didn\'t give a fuck, that the rest of Reed\'s words were out before he registered the fact that his friend was leaving.  "Hey!" he exclaimed and suddenly grabbed Reed\'s arm in a firm grip that prevented him from exiting, half turning the mortal as he stepped up to be able to look down into his brown eyes.  "Dude... I give a fuck about you," he argued, frowning.

He let go of Reed then, not wishing to hold him in place if he honestly didn\'t wish to remain (though he was mostly blocking the doorway now), but glad that his message had been stated.  It was true, and something his friend deserved to hear, even if he didn\'t seem happy about it.  "I give a fuck about what you want," he added, hands perching on his hips, "don\'t play me like that.  You know it\'s true.  I thought you\'d be happy for me to leave you alone and us to get back to just... hanging, you know? But if not... don\'t go all bitch on me; say what you want, I\'m good with it all," he urged, his expression lightening and becoming as encouraging as he dared let it become.

[Trillian]

"I don\'t know what I want," Reed said, then frowned and shook his head.  "Ah fuckit, that\'s not right.  I know what I want, I just never wanted it before."  He looked at Tom as though he didn\'t expect Tom to understand, but pushed against him so that the two of them could sit on the bed again.  Once they were there Reed sat, then collapsed backward onto the mattress, staring up at the ceiling so he wouldn\'t have to look at Tom while he divulged his feelings.
 
"You know, what?  You say to me not to be a bitch and hold back, leaving you guessing.  Thing is, I feel like a bitch, like your bitch, like I\'d fucking do anything if you snapped your fingers, and I don\'t know if that means I\'ve got low self-worth or whether you\'d want me that way or whatever else."  He placed his arm over his eyes to hide himself away to give himself courage to say the rest.  "I don\'t get it.  I just don\'t get it.  The human race could blow themselves up and I wouldn\'t give a shit, but when you say you\'re gonna give me space it\'s like... " he shrugged, the rest of his sentence
 
the end of the world
 
sounded so corny even in his mind that there was no fucking way something like that could come out of his mouth.
 
"And you\'re straight," he finished, then laughed softly.