Genesis

[Existentially Odd]

(Continued from \'Suicide Blonde\')

Kerr pulled into the driveway that Ben indicated and turned the car off, taking his time pulling on the hand brake and loosing his seat belt... then just sitting there, looking up at the house through the windscreen.  "Nice looking place," he murmured, then turned to look at the blonde, feeling suddenly awkward and sad all over again.  He squeezed his thigh hopefully.

"You\'d better... go in first, right?  Talk with him alone?" he suggested, having found out during the drive that Arles didn\'t have a clue about what Ben was going to propose.  At first he\'d been angry, then he\'d seen the blonde\'s side of things - after a bit of heated discussion, anyway - and realised that he was committed to this act whether he wished to argue or not.  Despite being bewildered by how passionately the two of them could love one moment, then fight the next, he knew he didn\'t want to back out now.

One way or the other, he would become Ben\'s sire.

[Trillian]

Ben\'s mouth was dry when they pulled up in the driveway.  He\'d gone through the full range of emotions tonight and was now experiencing the latest one at full strength: Anxiety.

He licked his lips and looked at the house that had come to be his shared home with Arles, not commenting after Kerr\'s remark that it was a nice place.  He knew it was a nice place, both Arles and Kerr had money to spend (the latter had a little more, but it didn\'t really matter about the money).

"Yes," Ben agreed, not really wanting Kerr to hear what might be a teary appeal from him to another.  He had a sick feeling in the pit of his stomach at the thought of Arles refusing.  It struck him now how badly he wanted both of them.  When he was with Kerr, he wanted Kerr.  When he was with Arles, he wanted Arles.  Was he just a chameleon, reflecting his desires on whoever he happened to be with?  If so, Declan had obviously ruined that for himself by cutting into Ben\'s back that first night.

Scars that would be with him forever.  Still, he hadn\'t wanted them re-cut and healed for him.  It was a documentation of the hardship he\'d endured in the search for immortality.  Stupid, he guessed, but that was it.

"Don\'t go anywhere," he said firmly to Kerr, turning his head to stare hard at the vampire on his left, sitting behind the wheel.  He almost wanted to ask for Kerr\'s keys, but that would show a lack of trust.  "Please."

[Existentially Odd]

He laughed humourlessly and held up both hands off the steering wheel.  "I\'ll wait right here in the car," he promised, even though he thought that getting out to smell the night, beach air would be pleasant and a good distraction from worrying.  If Ben wanted him here, then here he would stay.

"Come and get me when the coast is clear," he said, meaning for it to sound like a joke, but hearing it come out of his mouth more like a plea.  He frowned slightly, gripping the wheel again, breaking eye contact with Ben momentarily, before regathering himself and smiling at the mortal.  He hoped it was reassuring.

[Trillian]

Ben nodded at the promise, wanting to throw his arms around the other to the point where they ached to do so, but all he did was hesitate a moment and then rush out of the vehicle, shutting the door behind himself as he moved up the path and to the building.  His heart was racing, he could feel his pulse points throbbing (or imagined that he could).  Drymouth again, he licked his lips and took a breath before opening the door.  He turned to look at Kerr\'s car, unable to see more than a figure behind the wheel, knowing it was Kerr and then disappearing through the front door.

Anxiety, apprehension, tension, nervousness, edginess - the were all the same things, slightly different, but he could attribute every description to what he was feeling now, with a bit of nauseousness thrown in.

He sought out Arles, and stood in the doorway of the room he found him in.

"Arles," he choked, and stopped himself from going to the platinum blonde due to the fact he believed he smelled strongly of Kerr.  "I\'m back."

[Noctambule]

Arles had spent the night doing everything but think of Ben. It was too confusing. He found he didn\'t want to care and yet somehow he still did. He still hoped...and yet knew that he was selfish because despite his past experiences he still wanted Ben on his own terms. There was, obviously, still some room for improvement.

A book had been selected at random from a heap of literature Arles had purchased and not yet got around to reading. It reminded him of another night, when he\'d been trying to read...and been distracted. In a most pleasing way, of course, but he knew if that scene hadn\'t happened he wouldn\'t be feeling the knotting of his stomach that he was sure was worry.

Stretched out on the floor of the living area, the vampire made an attempt to imerse himself in the book. It wasn\'t nearly as easy as he thought it would be. He wasn\'t in the mood  to read in the first place and his concern for Ben made it harder to concentrate. What was he doing? Speaking with Kerr no doubt. Why had it taken so long?

As he heard Ben\'s approach, the blond made a point of looking at least like he\'d been reading...he was more than halfway through the book though he couldn\'t remember any large details of the story line.

Dark eyes moved over Ben and Arles frowned lightly. "You\'re back," He agreed. "But there\'s something else. You\'re not staying?" He guessed, trying to seem nonchalant about that prospect.

[Trillian]

"No, I am staying," Ben corrected, taking a step forward before stopping himself again.  He stood where he could see Arles on the floor, not quite hidden from view by furniture around the lounge, a book near him.  Ben wanted to go over to him and kneel down beside him, but was still worried about how Arles would react, though he supposed it was an unnecessary anxiety.  They both knew where Ben had been, after all.  "I\'ve made my decision," he said carefully, "I want to stay here, live here, be sired by you."

Of course there was more, for Kerr was waiting in the driveway for the other half of the decision, the other half of the siring, but Ben wanted to give Arles the good news first.  He waited for the blonde\'s reaction, hoping that Arles would say a certain thing or behave a certain way, to make the explanation for Ben easier - though he had no idea what the vampire could say to lead to such a thing.

[Noctambule]

Arles sat up, shifting so he was at least not reclinging any longer. But as Ben hesitated, moving toward him, then stopping, the vampire rose to his feet as though a better angle would let him see what was wrong. The words were exactly what he wanted to hear...so why wasn\'t he at ease with this?

The blond slowly moved toward the mortal, dark eyes intense. He refused to let Ben\'s announcement sink in too deeply. A decision had been made...so why did the teen look so worried? "There\'s something else..."

He shook his head as though it could clear out a sensation. "You still make my brain hurt," He complained good naturedly despite the fact he was still half afraid of what Ben wasn\'t telling him. "And would you like to share this with me now or spring it on me when we\'re in front of a governmental body again?" It had been meant as a joke but Arles belatedly realized it might seem...harsh. He closed the distance between them, kissing Ben\'s forehead gently. "I didn\'t mean..." He shrugged. "You know. Anything bad."

[Trillian]

"No, I know," Ben said timidly, for he believed Arles had every right to still be sore about that scene.  Not only that, but now Ben was springing something else on him.  Wrapping his arms around Arles\' middle, he came out with the rest, looking the vampire in the eye - at least he could do that.

"I couldn\'t say no to Kerr either.  I mean, there are good reasons for me to choose either one of you so..." he took a deep breath and said everything as quickly as he could.  "Because of things you\'ve told me, and of things Kerr have told me, I had an idea of how I can still choose and get exactly who I want.  I mean, the Oligarchy gave me permission to choose whoever I wanted, but it didn\'t limit my siring to one person, one vampire."  Ben was silent for a moment, his eyes studying Arles\' expression.  "I would be happiest to have a bond with both of you."

And Kerr\'s waiting in the driveway, he thought but did not add.

[Noctambule]

Arles had one arm around Ben and the other reaching to comb his hair. He resisted the urge at the last second, knowing it was hardly appropriate when they were trying to have a serious conversation. Simply a horrible habit that he needed to break himself of before Ben bit his fingers off.

"You couldn\'t say no to..." Arles trailed off, staring at Ben as though he\'d grown a second head. It was simply a shock. The vampire hadn\'t believed things could get more complicated and yet Ben had made things seem absurdly detailed in just one manuever. He was half-way tempted to ask Ben to teach him how to do such things; there would be ample time to escape from enemies while they tried to figure out what was going on.

"Both of us." That more or less summarized it. "Would it work? How old is he? I\'m not quite sure there can be two at once...only one and then another and then the first bond is wiped completely away..." His mind was spinning, not uncommon for Arles, but he wished he could just stop the world for a second.

[Trillian]

The look he got from Arles made his gut wrench, but he persisted anyway, when Arles asked if it would work.

"There\'s only two hundred years between you, and... Kerr\'s done it before, half sired someone.  It\'s shared blood.  I mean, you told me about re-siring, but the age difference between your original sire and then the Ancient who re-did it was a lot so... with you and Kerr being close enough together..." Ben could hear the plea in his voice, the desire in his heart.  He wanted this so badly, he wanted a blood bond with them both.  Arles wasn\'t passion but he was stable, Kerr was passion but the two of them were tumultuous.

"Besides," Ben added, now handing over all his information, "Kerr\'s already agreed..."  with clear blue eyes, searching, always searching, "...and he\'s here."

[Noctambule]

Arles froze. Forget stopping the world, just slow it down a bit. He would have been content with that even. Instead it was one thing after another until he had to wonder when it would end. "And here I thought you\'d learned absolutely nothing from our little rendez-vous with the Oligarchy," Arles said, trying to keep any anger from entering his tone. He wasn\'t mad at the request...but instead was a bit annoyed that Kerr was waiting outside

The blond was all too aware also that if he said no...Ben would go with Kerr. It wasn\'t a contest anymore. Kerr had won and Arles had been added as an afterthought. But why? Obviously something with Kerr\'s situation...if he had half sired someone before perhaps with that fledgling.

Arles met Ben\'s eyes. They were almost desperate with intensity...no doubt the mortal thought he\'d found a way to have both things he wanted and was quite excited by that prospect. "Why live with me then?" Arles questioned. "Why not just...stay with him?"

But he couldn\'t deny it, he found. Even if he knew that he was only added for another purpose beyond his own personal merit. Arles sighed, tilting Ben\'s chin up and kissing him chastely on the mouth. "Bring him in then," He finally consented.

[Trillian]

Arles first words hit Ben hard enough for him to look like he\'d been slapped.  This was different to deception.  As he\'d explained to Kerr in the car on the way here (via another argument), his request was spontaneous, unplanned, but entirely logical.  Once he\'d thought it over, it felt right.  Now Arles was making a comment that sounded like there was no reason to trust Ben, and the mortal supposed that was fair enough - after all, his history with Arles hadn\'t been squeaky clean.

Why live with me, then? Why not just... stay with him?
Why live with me
Why not
Stay with him

Arles question seemed to hit a chord that echoed in Ben\'s mind.  Why, indeed?

"Because--"

the truth now Ben
he deserves it

"--I\'m better off with you."

It was painful to say it, so much that he choked on the last half of the sentence, his chin wobbling and the thin line of his red lips wavering, enough so that he turned his face aside, cheeks pink with shame.  It was as good as announcing he was using Arles, to recognise that benefit to his face.  It was complimentary, yes, but it had a sharp edge to it, and Ben knew Arles was smart enough to read between the lines.  He half suspected he would be cast out, so he was surprised to hear the acceptance, along with receiving a kiss that had him facing Arles once more.

"Thank you," he whispered, hugging Arles close, pressing himself against the vampire\'s chest.  "You know I need you," he admitted, giving Arles another squeeze before moving back a little, and gradually moving away in small movements so he could go to the front door, open it, and wave for Kerr to come in.

[Existentially Odd]

The movement of the door opening and light spilling into the darkness caught Kerr\'s eye, despite the fact that he\'d been staring moodily at the steering wheel.  It was so odd, to be willingly stepping into participating in what felt very much like some sordid little threesome, with two men that he, frankly, didn\'t know all that well.  One not at all.  His mind had to be coming unhinged in some form, now that he\'d passed four centuries.

Licking his lips and swallowing nervously, he braced himself and got out of the car, locking it and tucking the keys in the back right pocket of his jeans.  He fiddled with the rolled sleeves of his maroon button-up shirt as he walked, and touched the leather necklace at his throat.  In something near to a panic, he pondered doing up both the top buttons to hide the beginnings of his chest and a few curls of hair, but he decided against it.  He wasn\'t walking in hoping to pass some sort of inspection; technically he already had.

He loped up to the front door as casually as he was able, long legs stretching across the distance just so that he feel himself moving and have something to concentrate on besides his nerves.  He looked at Ben when he got there, hoping to judge how everything had gone, by his expression, but it would apparently not be that easy.  With a tentative smile, he looked into the house and saw Arles, greeting him quietly.  "Hello."

[Noctambule]

Arles found himself startingly reluctant to let Ben go to the door. He felt like his heart would have stopped beating if it had started in the first place, his chest painfully tight for the brief moment everything was put into perspective. Ben had chosen Kerr. Despite Arles doing everything \'correctly\' in a way, it wasn\'t enough. The fact that they\'d been lovers wasn\'t enough.

Ben still needed him. Just not in an emotional type of way. He was safety from whatever Kerr hid in the closer. He didn\'t have other fledglings nearby, he didn\'t have enemies who would go after Ben to prove a point. He was safe. He was...the mundane sort of vampire.

For a moment, the blond wondered if he could live with this situation. Ben would be his and yet not. He would teach him things but Kerr could easily unteach them. He didn\'t expect that to happen but it was still a possibility.

Too late now. Arles attempted a smile, wishing for a moment he\'d taken careful care with his wardrobe. Black pants and a white shirt and he realized how totally uninspired he looked.

"Hello," Arles returned the greeting, nodding his head and stepping back to allow Kerr room to enter. Beyond that, there wasn\'t really anything else to say, was there?

"I\'ve never...half sired before," Arles announced finally, deciding that they should probably decide if this was even possible before they tried. "Please," He added, motioning behind him. "Have a seat."

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr looked from Arles to Ben, seeing what a good couple the two presented as and feeling incredibly intimidated.  He gave a brief smile and followed Arles\' direction to sit, admiring the beauty of the residence as he did.  The whole situation was incredibly awkward; he sat on the edge of the plush seat, feeling gangly and... large compared to the two pretty blondes, rubbing his hands slowly up and down his denim-clad thighs as he looked at the house owner.  Kerr thought he had incredible eyes.

"I\'ve only sired once.  My sire\'s mothers.  He half sired me, but that was because he\'s a child and he\'s not able to drain a full adult without a lot of... mess.  S-so his sire took over on me when Sawyl couldn\'t do any more and... uh, he overpowered Wyl, b-being Ancient, but we\'re still bonded.  I needed him for his mothers because... uh, well, he wanted to be involved, of course, but... they\'re two people, connected and... it was a struggle even for me.  C-conjoined twins," he explained nervously, feeling he wasn\'t laying anything out in a neat and orderly manner as he usually did when telling a story.  Especially his own.

Did Arles even care?  The Irishman felt like he was offering credentials or something, to see if he was worthy of this task.  As far as he knew, Arles and he would have to drain Ben (about half each) and then they would take turns feeding himback his own blood and then feel him die.  It seemed simple, compared to what he\'d had to go through with the twins, the blood he\'d had to let and how dangerously close he and Sawyl had come to losing them - being that the two of them were little more than fledglings at the time and hardly knew what they were doing.  Two older, experienced vampires for one teenaged mortal seemed to tip the scales in the other direction, as far as he was concerned.

"Th-that was a long time ago, though," he offered apologetically, admiring but fearing the lack of emotion he could make out in Arles\' black irises.  He glanced at Ben for reassurance or... something, then back at the elder vampire.  He didn\'t feel too much older, at least; it was a vague sensation at best.  He was unsettlingly serene, though, which only made Kerr more worried.