Life Changing Decisions

[Mayquiri]

Well, not being married was little surprise.  As mature and learned(unfortunately) as the girl looked, she was still just a girl.  Admittedly, some women got married as soon as they bled, but it was far more typical for a woman to get married in her late teens to early twenties.
 
"If the babe is his and he doesn\'t believe you.  Lie." Arjan offered as he lifted the pot to stir the soup once more before ladeling it into a small bowl.  "Here, try some.  I can\'t garantee that it\'ll stay down, but it might help."  He said, breaking his train of thought momentarily.
 
"Say you were raped.  Y\'didn\'t want to tell him because you were embaressed.  With a witness, he might believe it.  Where do ye work Miss?"  Arjan questioned, cocking his head once more as he watched mis, both for an answer as well as for a reaction to the soup.

[pinkroses]

Mia’ eyes opened a little wider at his saying she should lie, not sure what she could possibly lie about that would mean Ridley would take her back. She waited patiently for him to continue was he handed her a bowl of soup and cupped her cold hands around it without trying it yet. “Thank you,” she said again as she looked back up at him, wanting to hear his idea before she even thought about trying to eat.

When spoke however her shoulders slumped disappointedly. That wouldn’t work, she couldn’t lie to Ridley, he wouldn’t believe her and he didn’t want a baby anywhere near him. She was sure that he didn’t really believe she had slept with Dagger, he just didn’t want anything to do with a child and so pretending he was a father to the child would be no better. "That won\'t make him want a baby any more," she said softly. Mia had been hoping he would be able to suggest a different way for her to get rid of this baby and go back to Ridley. Going back to him with a child or pregnant just wasn\'t an option. She lowered her eyes to the bowl, stirring the soup and enjoying the smell it was giving off, but her throat still felt to swollen and painful to eat.

“I work…at a manor house, I’m a cook,” she said quietly, not wanting to name Dagger. She didn’t know this man or anything about him and she didn’t really want Dagger finding out that she was pregnant unless it was her telling him; Ridley thinking she’d slept with him was bad enough, she didn’t want rumours spreading further.

[Mayquiri]

"Yer, right, it wouldn\'t make him want the baby any more." Arjan agreed, nodding slightly as he sighed faintly.  In a way, he wished Mia would tell more, but at the same time, Arjan knew the story.  It was just names that were blurry, and he could live with that.  "But it might make him less likely t\'fly in a rage at ye.  After all, it\'s not a lady\'s fault she was raped on her way home from workin in a lords mannor.  I"m sure ye pass at least one seedy place."
 
Of course, there were ways for Mia to get rid of her problem permenantly, but Arjan really preffered not to use those methods.  They tended to cost a decent ammount of money, and were never certain without giving the poor girl a sharp kick in the stomach a few times to finish the job.
 
"The father\'s a noble, isn\'t he?  that\'s why ye two can\'t just get married.  Or, is he already married?" Arjan questioned as he leaned back on the bucket, mind working to feel out the situation.

[pinkroses]

Mia shook her head slowly when he kept on mentioning rape, her eyes fixed on the bowl in her lap. She had been raped too many times in her life by her uncle (and by Ridley) for it too be something she would lie about. She hated the things Ridley had made her do, but that didn’t mean she didn’t still love him, but she doubted he would accept a story like that. He could tell too easily when she was lying.

Her dark eyes flickered upwards once more at his guess and she shook her head again, this time more vehemently, “No, no, he’s not,” she said quickly. It wasn’t Dagger’s, there was no way it could be and although she hadn’t said his name she didn’t even want Arjan to think it was her employers in case she did later let it slip that she worked for Dagger, “And he’s not married. We lived together and…” She took a deep breath and stirred her soup slowly, “He told me to leave when he found out I was…y’know,” she said with a small shrug. “I just want to go back to him. I want things to go back to how they were.”

When she looked towards Arjan again there was a glimmer of hope in her eyes and she chewed gently on her lower lip, “Can you help me?” she asked. She had heard that there were herbs that could help, maybe he had the right ones somewhere in some of those jars.

[Mayquiri]

"Y\'lived together, and he\'s not noble, and he\'s not married?  Then why didn\'t he marry you earlier?" Arjan questioned as he stood and begun to pace.  It wasn\'t only the confusion that Mia\'s story brought, it was also that the young man feared sitting to long, as his feet tended to fall asleep.
 
This man, the father, didn\'t seem like a very friendly fellow.  in fact, unless Mis had led a very rough life and was just now beginning to come out of her shell because of this man, Arjan was beginning to disapprove of this man in general.  From the healers view, this unnamed man impregnates a woman whom he is sleeping with, but not married to.  He frightens her, and he kicks her out, unable to trust that she was faithful.  and now the only way for the poor child to regain her lover(master)\'s trust is to kill the very thing he created?  It made Arjan sick, to think of people abusing Talon and Adora\'s gifts so thoughtlessly.
 
With a heavy sigh, Arjan turned towards Mia at her question.  "There are ways to kill an unborn child without killing the mother." He said softly, disapproving frown all to apparent on his normally ever-smiling face, "But to take them in such quantites where they\'d be effective, it would be very expensive.  And it wouldn\'t be for certain."  He cautioned, looking over at Mia severely, "Do you think you\'d be able to do it?"

[pinkroses]

"I don\'t know," Mia whispered, scooping a vegetable from the soup and letting it drop back into the bowl once more. She would have married Ridley in an instant if he had asked her, but he had seemed happy to leave things as they were and she had been happy like that and too afraid to have thought to bring it up. Besides, it had been like they were married, just without it being official and that made it so much easier for Ridley to end it.

The red head couldn\'t meet his eyes when he looked at her like that and she lowered her eyes as her stomach churned. She didn\'t have much money, she didn\'t know if it would be enough, or if she should spend it on something that might not even work. With it being so uncertain there could give her weeds for a garden for all she knew and just shrug and say \'sometimes it just doesn\'t work\'. At least living with Ridley had made her street savvy enough to know that.

"I don\'t know," she repeated at his second question, her watery eyes finally spilling over as she took a shuddering breath. "I don\'t want to, but I don\'t know what else to do." She hadn\'t forgotten about her younger brother who she still wanted to earn enough money to help escape from their uncle, but that was looking less and less likely to her dismay. How could she possibly do everything she had to alone?

[Mayquiri]

"Tansy." Arjan said softly, a small frown etched in her face.  "Tansy tea, one cup at night, one in the morning until you bleed would terminate the pregnancy.  It could take several days though, and like I said, it isn\'t cheap.  None of my poisons are."
 
"It\'s not always certain either though.  If you insist on killing the baby, the surest way would be to have someone hit you very hard in the stomach, but that could kill you.  Also, if you don\'t have the money, you\'d have to work it off, or pay me in some other way."
 
Or she could keep the child, forsake the bastard who pout her in this position, and work for Arjan.  she\'d have a job, and bedding, and she\'d be able to raise the child.  Shaking his head, Arjan looked up and stared at Mia.  It would never work.  Mia would reject his offer, unable to think of leaving her man.  But still, it was worth a shot.  
 
"You could keep the child too." Arjan said after a few moments, going to sit down, "If the father is to much of a monster to treat his child as his own, and the mother as a human being instead of a dog, perhaps it would be in your best intrests not to return to him."

[pinkroses]

She stored away the name of the poison in her mind for future reference, she had some money, but she wasn’t sure if it was enough, she wanted to stay working for Dagger for as long as she could, the money was good and it was something she really enjoyed and as for paying him another way… every time she had heard those words it had ended up in a manner she seriously disliked. Her arms folded across her stomach again at the thought of someone hitting her. She knew someone who would definitely do that, but he probably wouldn’t stop at just a punch in the stomach. It might just as easily end up with her dead. She hadn’t seen her uncle since running away and she didn’t want to go back.

If she lived like this for a few more weeks, months maybe, she would have enough for the deposit on a room, and she could live there, but she wouldn’t be able to keep earning money once she had a child, and then what? Maybe once she’d made a decision she would be able to relax and start to eat again, but if she couldn’t decide the baby might kill them both anyway.

“I love him,” she said, her voice barely over a whisper, “And he loves me…I think, he’s so…he changed so quickly.” She swallowed hard and chewed on her lower lip again, harder this time as she tried to think. She desperately wanted to go home to him, but maybe there were other options, she just wanted to go back to him so much she didn’t want to think of them seriously. And she couldn’t help feeling like this was all her fault. It was her fault she was pregnant (although he had forced himself on her), maybe she had put him in a bad mood by refusing him open access to her body the night before (although he knew how much she hated it since being raped so many times when younger). There had to have been something she could have done differently.

“How much would it cost?” she asked softly and once he had named his price she shook her head sadly. It was more than she had with her, which was all she had anywhere. “I should probably go, I’m sorry I took up so much of your time,” she said quietly, not wanting to intrude now that she knew there was nothing he could do to help her and she still couldn’t bring herself to eat. But the prospect of going back out into the cold night kept her in her place on the stool with the cooling bowl of soup still in her lap.

[Mayquiri]

Arjan had absolutely no doubts that Mia loved this man.  Nor did he have many doubts concerning the man\'s love, or lack there of, towards Mia.  But Arjan knew better then to interrupt and take away from of the few things that she clung to so furiously.  If her physical condition didn\'t do her in, there was a good chance the stress of being told that the father didn\'t love her could push her over the edge.
 
Arjan didn\'t like seeing the girl suffer so needlessly.  ther was no sense of rightness in it, like there usually was when Arjan saw someone who was going to die.  She had a chance, and by Talon\'s hand, he was going to give it to her.  Arjan didn\'t see this as stealing a death away from Talon, he often saw these little mercy acts saving a proper death, one that Talon could be proud of, for later by removing the danger of a dishonorable death.
 
"Miss, you don\'t need to leave." Arjan said quickly, head jerking up when Mia aplogised for taking his time and offered to leave.  "I invited you here on my own, you didn\'t waste my time.  You can stay the night Mia, it\'s cold out there tonight.  And, if you decide to keep the child, I would be willing to offer you a job and lodging here.  I\'d offer t\'pay for your lodging in exchange for work, but I don\'t get enough business for that." He offered, biting his lip slightly.  He knew she\'d refuse, Arjan\'s offer was to suspicious.  He barely knew the girl and he was offering her a place to rest her head and a job?  It sounded to much like he had ulterior motives, and he knew, but he still had to offer.

[pinkroses]

Mia’s eyes widened slightly with surprise and worry at his offer. Her idea of what he meant by his offer of staying the night was very different to the truth of it, but that was what experience had taught her. And she had a job which she enjoyed, she couldn’t trade that up, even if it did put a roof over her head. She had lived like that with Ridley for long enough, she didn’t want another man to use her like that. But she had refused Ridley and he had ignored her pleas. But Arjan looked nervous too, not as demanding as Ridley had been, maybe he would let her go without…that.

“I’m sorry, I can’t,” she said quietly, her quickened breath showing how nervous she had become at his offer. “I need to…go,” she said, standing up. She glanced around for a moment, not sure where to put her still full bowl of soup, then simply put it down on the stool she had been sat on, before edging towards the door with an anxious glance at him again. She wasn’t sure if he had locked the door or not, she only hoped he hadn’t.

“Thank you, again, for the advice, I’ll think about it,” she said softly, before turning and hastily walking to the door of his shop, praying he wouldn’t try to stop her.

[Mayquiri]

Seeing the fear flood her features, Arjan knew he had done wrong.  And now, as a result, Mia was not only turning down his offer(which he expected all along that she would), but she was going to leave into the cold night with no shelter and no food.
 
"I\'m sorry for frightening you." He said, taking one small, cautious sep forward as a thin bony hand ran through his hair nervously.  "Take the soup bowl with you.  I\'ll carve another one for myself.  you need the food more then I do.  And here." He said quickly, gaining speed as he grabbed a small tin and scooped a tiny bit of a yelllowish power into a vial.  "This is Saffron.  It\'s a very valuable spice.  It\'s just a bit, but you should be able to barter it for a room."  Arjan didn\'t mention that he didn\'t grow Saffron.  that was one of the few spices he sold by having to buy it from the east.  Even that vial had cost him a pretty piece of silver.
 
But, ont he other hand, Arjan couldn\'t let Mia just leave into the chill of the night, pregnat and in a weak physical condition.  "Just one more thing.  If you do come for the herbs, come soon.  it\'ll be to late to do the job and they\'ll only disfigure the baby.  If you don\'t have the coin, I can find a few things for you to help me with around the shop.  Preserving herbs and making tinictures and salves and the like."  Arjan added on, almost as an after thought as he picked up the soup bowl and offered it to Mia with one hand, pressing the Saffron into her hands with the other.

[pinkroses]

Mia took another half step backwards as he approached, but then paused as he picked up the bowl and fiddled around with some power as she watched him curiously. It was only fear that stopped her from stepping forwards to see better what he was doing. Her eyes dropped down as he pushed the vial into her hands, her thin fingers closing securely around the small bottle of yellow powder, surprised by him in every way. He was giving her this, the means to get a room for the night, and a meal, and wanted nothing in return?

“Are you sure? You would just…give this to me?” she murmured, her eyes watery as she looked up at him. It was such a small amount but she knew that some people would pay a lot for certain herbs and spices. Her other hand lifted to carefully take the bowl he was offering her, not wanting him to think that she wasn’t grateful for this, maybe once she was outside again she would feel more like eating, now that she had a few more options to think about. “And you don’t want anything for it?” she added with a questioning frown.

[Mayquiri]

"i\'m not just giving it to you." Arjan replied, shaking his head.  "You gave me a story, however patchy and ambigious it was.  And besides, you\'re pregnat, you\'re homeless at the moment, it\'s cold out, and you\'re just a kid."
 
After smiling faintyl and shrugging, Arjan took on a pensive look, "Although, if you do want to pay me back, you can over time, that vail should be wroth just enough for a soft bed and a warm meal.  Or, you can just come to me if you get sick, or need someone hurt.  I\'m always welcome at the thought of business."  He offered with a broad, almost childish grin.  Arjan liked Mia, in a way, she somewhat reminded him of his own older sister, before she died.  Except for the baby and possible abuser, possible lover thing of course.  She was just so skittish and soft spoken.  Arjan couldn\'t help but imagne that she\'d be the type to be eager to please if given enough actual love.  Or at least positive attention.

[pinkroses]

Mia\'s red eyes lowered to the ground before lifting to meet Arjan\'s with a half smile. His kindness meant so much to her, as did the way that although she had refused his bed for the night, he had still given her the means to get shelter.

"Thank you, so much," she said quietly, before backing up to the door and pulling it open, after slipping the small vial into her skirt pocket and still holding the bowl carefully. She didn\'t really think that her story had been worth something this precious, but she didn\'t want to argue.

After another glance back at Arjan Mia pulled her shawl back over her red hair, hiding herself away from the world before leaving the doorstep and walking quickly off into the night.

The teenager didn\'t use the saffron to bargin for a room, she had never been good at it and knew she wouldn\'t get what it would be worth. Instead she found a dark and empty doorstep and ate as much of the soup as she could (which wasn\'t much) before falling into a fitful sleep. When he opened his door the next morning he would find the clean bowl and spoon on his doorstep and a small flower rested on top of them.

((Continued in Final Decisions))