Under The Cover Of Night

[Mandy]

Nearly three weeks had passed since the last time Mandy laid eyes on her casual partner, Tag. Three weeks with no word - three weeks of oddly conflicting emotions.

On one hand, she found that the shifters unexpected disappearance came as a welcome reprieve. Not only did it gave her time to think (and she had a great many particulars to reflect upon), but it offered the privacy necessary for her to reevaluate the direction of her life, which of course - had taken a rather complicated turn. Whether this turn was for the better or worse, had yet to be determined.

On the other hand, the empty space Tag`s presence had once filled, hurt all the more bitterly with him gone. They may have never been serious, but he was company nonetheless, and a wonderful diversion from the pain still festering deep, down inside.

Mandy had tried (on numerous occasions) to convince herself that the prospect of a relationship with someone else – namely Tag - was exactly what she needed to get over the real root of her sorrow. To get over Kerr… but the more she tried to persuade herself, the more she realized the truth. The vampire had stolen her heart too completely. And so, foolish as it may very well be, the pink haired clerk recognized that she would never be able to feel for anyone else, what she felt for him.

 Instead, she elected to utilize Tag the same way he appeared to utilize her;  a friend with perks, ‘perks’ being the physical portion of their affiliation. He became nothing short of a distraction from the real issue at hand – her relationship with Kerr, or lack there of. How many months had passed since the last time she`d spoken with him… held him? He`d likely forgotten her entirely by now. Maybe she should try to do the same?

It was thoughts and emotions like these (one fateful evening), which prompted Mandy to observe a spontaneous late night walk.

She exited her apartment (unnoticed and unacknowledged) and ploughed aimlessly along the darkened city streets, hands tucked neatly in her jean jacket pockets, the rustle of her khaki capri’s the only sound she really discerned. It was a familiar scenario, walking alone at night – one that had played out for her several times before. She`d met Kerr in much the same way, as well as Tag. God only knew what might come of her latest after-hours jaunt. Shivering, she continued to hike along, her mind a hundred miles away - fighting a battle that had no discernable end.

Mandy trudged on like this for the better portion of twenty minutes before the familiar thump of bass hastily brought her back to her senses. Bass? The sound of voices? Where exactly had she wandered to during her haze?

A quick glance down the street she presently navigated revealed the answer, forcing a large lump to form in the column of her throat.

Risk.

Why had she ended up here of all places? It held painful memorys for her, ones involving the very person she`d been trying so desperately to forget. How could fate be so cruel?

You should go in… see if he`s there. Her heart encouraged, driving on raw impulse, You know you want to see him. Of course, her mind had an entirely different suggestion to follow. Turn around right now and leave. Only heartache waits for you there. If he hasn`t called on you since the last time you parted, he obviously wants nothing more to do with you. Don`t be so pathetic.

Her legs began to move of their own accord as reason battled emotion, guiding Mandy closer to Risk rather than away (much to her lingering surprise).

You must love being the underdog.

“I wouldn`t worry,” she whispered, passing a group of oddly dressed young men, “After Kerr`s warning, they probably won`t let me in anyway.”

[Existentially Odd]

"Actually... I retracted that after the trial," Kerr murmured, standing just ahead of her, more or less blocking the entrance to the nightclub.  He\'d seen her before she saw him; watched her stand for a moment before she headed in, managed to pick up her soft words, spoken to herself... it was then that he\'d decided he needed to move forward.  He couldn\'t afford to be trapped within the club any longer - not when he hadn\'t managed to find any trace of Ichabod - and he wasn\'t afraid of running into her.  Much.

"It was pointless, once you knew about... everything," he added.  "Hello, Mandy."  His lips twitched, as if they wanted to smile but simply couldn\'t find the energy or the will to do so and he fell silent after those final two words were uttered in a deep and serious tone.  His hands were in the pockets of his long black coat and the grey button up shirt with broadly spaced white vertical  stripes that he wore beneath it was sitting fashionably untucked over his black slacks tonight.  The top three buttons were undone as well, for he\'d got used to showing a bit of chest.  He wore a leather necklace with a polished coin-like piece of jade on it, resting snugly at the hollow of his throat to divert attention from the curls of chest hair and pectoral muscle very slightly on display.

He expected her to shoulder past him; he expected that she was here looking for Tag - who he also hadn\'t seen for as many months as she\'d been absent from his life and certainly wasn\'t in the club at his back but... she could find that out for herself.  He would wait for her to respond to his greeting in kind, to pretend that everything between them was as civil as it might have been - had she not confessed to being in love with him then left him to sort out his feelings while she moved on to another man.  His expression told her that he wasn\'t happy to see her and he wasn\'t going to pretend that he was but he could do her the courtesy of letting her speak before he left her to it.

He didn\'t really want to hear anything she said - especially if she brought up Tag - but he was braced for it nevertheless, ready to endure their first words exchanged in however long, simply because it was the polite thing to do.  What could she possibly do or say to change the way things were, anyway?

[Mandy]

And just like that – the very person she`d been aching to see for months (even while she was trying her damndest to forget him) – was standing before her; his handsome face just as radiant and beautiful as she last remembered.

He looked wonderful (always had, far as Mandy was concerned) though it was obvious by his carriage that many things had changed, especially in regards to her. Was he angry that she`d failed to call? That she`d perused a ‘relationship’ with Tag? That she appeared to get over someone she professed to love, so seemingly fast? Had the conditions surrounding their last meeting been different; she would have understood any feelings of resentment he may have harbored toward her, but the past (as it was) remained unchanged.

Back then, Kerr all but guaranteed he would never love her the same way she loved him. Even Sawyl appeared to hold the vampires heart more deeply than she. Wouldn`t it be a rather hypocritical turn of events for him to be sore now? That besides, she`d finally come to terms with the fact that Tag had been nothing more than a Band-Aid for the real crux of the matter (albeit later than sooner).

She blinked - frozen like a doe caught in the headlights of a speeding car, her pulse running hard and fast. The entire encounter felt too surreal to be true.

How many sleepless nights had she spent lying in bed (playing out the scenario of their possible reunion), thinking up things she wanted to say...to apologize for? Countless. And now that they were at last together, her mind was drawing a complete and utter blank. It was mortifying to say the least.

Her heart however, was not so overwhelmed by bitter hesitation.

Without a word of warning, Mandy lurched forward (great, pearly tears filling her hazel eyes) and threw herself against the vampire’s chest, miserably sobbing his name over and over again. She didn`t care that people were watching, or that he would likely not embrace her in return. She didn`t even care that he`d probably push her away in disgust or lingering resentment. As long as she got to hold him for just a moment before reality hit, it might be enough to patch the gaping hole left in her heart, at least for the time being.

She wrapped her arms tightly about Kerr`s neck, diverting her eyes from his neatly pressed attire so as not to stain it with tears and make-up. He certainly wouldn`t thank her for that. She shuddered – the first real waves of happiness she`d experienced in what felt to be forever, soothing her tumultuous soul. His body was familiar beneath hers, solid – strong. Christ, but she`d missed this. If only things had gone differently for them so many months before…

“Kerr,” she wept, clutching at him (though unable to look unto his face, for fear of what she might see), “Oh God, I`ve missed you so much…”

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr, on the other hand, was keenly aware of the curious stares of the mortal onlookers - all lined up to get into the club, biding their time until enough mortals left that they could go in and strut their wares.  Though there were a few snickers and murmurs about women and their \'vampire groupie\' mentality, he knew none of the watching was malicious.  That didn\'t mean he didn\'t want to get away from it, though.

Lifting his hands out of his pockets, he wrapped his arms about her and straightened to his full height.  He then carried her away with supernatural speed, not stopping until he reached his car, which was parked two blocks away.  Pausing beside the sleek silver sedan, he then leaned forward to put her on her feet - extracting her arms from around his neck if he had to - and fished his keys out of his pocket.  He tried to push away how good she\'d felt against him while he unlocked the car and opened the passenger side door.

"Get in," he ordered succinctly and then moved around to the driver\'s side, sliding in and expecting her to do the same.  She appeared interested in seeing him, rather than finding Tag so he supposed that even if she was looking for her lover, she would indulge a conversation first.  He put the keys in the ignition while he waited for her to make her decision and he closed his door but he didn\'t put his belt on or start the car.  She was at Risk for a reason - he wasn\'t about to drive her away from there unless she requested it, but the car cabin was a lot more private to talk in than standing outside a club.  Especially if she was going to continue wailing like a banshee.

[Mandy]

It all happened so quickly, that Mandy had barely enough time to register what was going on, let alone react to it.

She`d forgotten just how fast Kerr could be when the occasion truly called.

No doubt, he wished to keep her from creating a scene, well… a scene more dramatic than the one she`d already fashioned. The amused whispers were hard to miss, even between sobs. So (rather than try to understand what was going on), she gave a final hiccup of emotion and closed her eyes – enjoying the closeness that Kerr had abruptly initiated while sweeping her away. At least he hadn`t told her to bugger off, which Mandy had altogether expected.

Just imagine her surprise when the blur of city streets came to a sudden end, and the pair was left standing next to a handsome, sliver car.

"Get in,"

She of course, obeyed. She`d do whatever he asked if only to prolong their encounter a little longer. Even if he wanted to yell at her and call her names, at least she would be at his side. And that was better than not seeing him at all. The passed several months had been Hell on Earth. Without a doubt, Kerr`s wrath would be far better than the loneliness she experience without him.

Sniffing weakly, she slipped into the passenger seat and pulled the door shut with a sound \'bang\', automatically dragging the seat belt across her chest and locking it into place. Did he plan on driving them somewhere in particular, or were his intentions to simply find a private place to talk? Maybe he planned on taking her directly home? To get rid of her courteously, without having to deal with feelings of guilt or worry for leaving a female to walk alone, after dark? Oh please, let it be anything but that. She wasn`t sure if she`d be able to survive such outright rejection.

Frightened by what may or may not come to pass between them, Mandy cupped her hands neatly in her lap and peered nervously across the auto`s expensive interior, searching Kerr`s face in silence. She could not even bring herself to speak for fear that it might make the vampire second guess his decision to whisk her away, and ask her to leave immediately.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr watched her for as long as he could bear it, then turned to frown at the steering wheel, where his fingers were lightly resting, at the bottom.  As he watched, he gripped the leather wheel, then loosened his fingers, repeating the process with agonising slowness while he waited for her to speak.  When it became apparent she wasn\'t going to, he looked sideways at her, frowning.

"Why are you here?  Where\'s Tag?" he asked quietly, thinking that Risk really wasn\'t safe for her - and he had no idea why her boyfriend would even come here in the first place.  He looked her over as he waited for an answer, pondering teh fact that she\'d got straight in the car and done her seatbelt up - like she expected him to take her someplace.  She was still so trusting, which... he was kind of glad about, really.  It would have killed him if he\'d completely destroyed her.

[Mandy]

Mandy blinked – bewildered by Kerr’s topic of conversation.

Tag? Tag was the absolute last person floating through the clerks mind, at the moment - all things considered. Upon later review however, she would come to the conclusion that it had not been so unexpected for him to ask such a thing. In truth, it was probably the most natural place for them to begin.

She swallowed the lump (fast forming in her throat) and licked her lips before attempting to answer. Better to get the awkward part out first. “I don`t know where he is,” she explained in earnest, preferring to abandon the matter of Tag quickly, though realizing she needed to supply more information or risk being misunderstood, “He disappeared several weeks ago. I`m not even sure of the exact time frame anymore.”

To address the former of his questions, “As for tonight, I was having trouble sleeping - so I went for a walk. And well, you know me… I got to daydreaming, and somehow ended up here.” She fidgeted with a loose pocket strap on her Capri`s, unsure of what more her companion would care to hear. So far, things were going surprisingly well.

Her eyes returned to searching Kerr`s face as emotion once again, began to take hold, much to her better judgments total dismay. “I`ve… I`ve missed you,” she repeated, hating how pathetic she sounded in the mute confines of the car, “You have no idea.”

[Existentially Odd]

He swallowed, finding a lump in his throat for some reason when he made eye contact with her.  thankfully, it went away fairly quickly.  She hadn\'t seen Tag for weeks?  She also didn\'t seem too worried by this fact.

"So... you and Tag... are broken up or... he just likes to go off for weeks at a time and you wait for him?"  As far as Kerr understood it, she was having trouble sleeping because she was concerned about where her lover was.  that was understandable.  What he didn\'t understand was what she was doing telling him how much she\'d missed him.  How was that supposed to help things?  It was easy enough to ignore the confession however, for he was still puzzled by the Tag portion of her life.

[Mandy]

Again, all Mandy could do – was stare.

Broken up? That would imply that they`d been something of an item to begin with. And while she and Tag may have been sexual partners for some time (which to be honest, had fizzled out a number of weeks prior to him taking off), she really didn`t consider them boyfriend/girlfriend. Friend’s maybe. But even when she was still trying to convince herself that they should be more, he`d always been more of an aquaintence…

“We were never a couple. Friends, perhaps…”

She trailed off, shocked by the feeling of humiliation that washed over her in admitting it out loud. If they weren`t a couple, Kerr might turn to the obvious conclusion – that she was just a common place whore out for a quick fuck. Which wasn`t the case at all, at least – Mandy didn`t think of it like that. The situation had been, complicated. Maybe the right decisions hadn`t been made on her part, but at the time – it seemed like the right thing to do. She`d been angry and confused. More to the point, everybody erred; even Kerr.

She cowed to feel her cheeks going red beneath the vampire`s watchful gaze, “F - forgive me?”

[Existentially Odd]

He blinked.  "Forgive you?  I... well, there\'s nothing... uh... " he trailed off, deciding he was blustering more than saying anything useful anyway.  Plus, he\'d run out of things to say.  He should probably have taken the few moments he needed to process the information that Mandy and Tag hadn\'t been serious before he started talking, but he ended up taking it belatedly, looking at her a little oddly until he thought he understood.

He\'d always been of the belief that things wouldn\'t be serious on Tag\'s side of things - he\'d smelled different women on the shifter numerous times before he smelled Manduy on his charge, after all, and Tag had been performing his peculiar shower routine to wash Mandy\'s scent away in amongst those other women times - leading Kerr to believe he hadn\'t exactly been faithful.  It was just... well, Mandy had fallen for him in next to no time, so he believed she\'d launched her feelings just as energetically at Tag.

He saw now that she wasn\'t nearly as stupid as he\'d assumed her to be and he felt ashamed of himself for doubting her.  Hell, he\'d done a fuckload of doubting her when he\'d first learned that - instead of coming up with some sort of plan for how they could continue to be friends or see each other - she was sleeping with his shifter charge.  His gaze was now directed at her with a new light of respect in it, though his expression was still troubled.

"There\'s nothing to forgive, it seems," he finished quietly, his gaze wandering over her.  So she was single and coping with her life, though she missed him.  Well.  "How\'s...

your back

Artemis doing?"

Chicken shit

[Mandy]

For the first time in weeks, a tiny smile crept quietly upon Mandy`s animated features.

It hadn`t been the greatest transition in all the world, but his effort left her lighthearted and renewed. Not only that, but the fact that he remember the single most important ‘person’ existing in her life (aside for him, of course) rendered her quite pleased.

“He`s doing well! Getting big though. You would never know he was the runt!” She turned at the waist in order to look at him more completely, pointing her knees toward the drivers seat – hands folded primly over them, “He`s taken to not only toting my bras around the apartment while I`m out at work, but leaving them in the bathroom toilet as well!” Her face visibly faltered by the last - insanely reminded of the first time Kerr had ever seen said kitty – bra in tow. It was a happy, albeit, sad memory. She`d give anything to get back to those days.

“H… how about you? And Sawyl? Have you both been well?” It seemed idol banter now, but he`d given her the consideration of asking about her ‘family’, the least she could do was offer him the same.

[Existentially Odd]

His face darkened immediately but he managed to smooth his expression after a brief gritting of his teeth.  She wasn\'t to know; besides, he was rather curious about what she would think when he told her, the more he gave the matter some (rapid) thought.

"Not especially, no.  Sawyl took exception to me siring Ben.  He decided to attack Ben, which I objected to and when we fought about it and I pointed out that I was in love with Ben - not him - and that he needed to stay away from him, he tried to kill me.  His mothers stopped him.  I left the house and haven\'t seen or spoken to him in about two months."

Kerr looked steadily at Mandy, aware that he\'d pretty much dumped everything on her all at once - but that was all the better to see her true reaction, he supposed.  "I live in an apartment in the Capital Building now.  I suppose Sawyl\'s well; I haven\'t heard any differently but, at this stage... I really don\'t care," he finished mildly, shrugging and watching to see if she\'d start hyperventilating now.

[Mandy]

It was strange, but Mandy actually found herself grateful to hear Ben`s name and that he`d not been killed after the trial. It was quite the opposite of what one might have expected her to feel. He`d gotten exactly what he`d wanted all along – to become a vampire, and Kerr.  Predictably, it was the admission of love, which left Mandy at odds within herself. But she`d prepared for the possibility that such a relationship might have been formed in her absence (though Ben came as something of a surprise, as she`d originally thought him for dead).

Well then, if Kerr could so easily lay all of his cards out on the table – she found no reason to beat around the bush with her own. She`d never had much of a \'poker-face\' after all.

“Ben`s alive? Thank-God." she began, her smile remaining in place (despite the nervous doubt, racing in her heart).

Just breath. If he doesn`t like what you have to say, you`ll just have to deal with it...

“Actually, I thought you might have found someone else… it makes sense that you would, however…” Her chest tightened painfully, “I can`t deny what I still feel for you inside, Kerr. I never could.” She searched his face, hands reluctantly reaching for his, “You say you love Ben… and… and I`m okay with this - " which was a half-truth, " - not that it`s up to me of course, but…”

Go ahead and spit it out. You`re going to make an emotional fool of yourself anyway…

“Kerr, I still love you.”

Mandy latched onto the vampire`s right hand, clutching it close to her breast, “I… I don`t care if I am second or third or tenth in your life, but please… please let me keep seeing you! Please let me have just a small place in your heart... l - let me love you!” She began to cry freely at this, bringing Kerr`s hand to her lips – kissing his fingers in desperation. “I don`t need a lot… you can visit me as few or as many times as you like. I don`t even need to know about you and Ben, or what’s happening outside my knowledge in your world… but I can`t bare to live without you anymore. I`ve been in Hell ever since you left!”

[Existentially Odd]

He had to force himself not to stare at her like an alien was crawling out of her nostrils but to say that he was rather taken aback by her emotional declaration had to be the understatement of the year.  He watched his hand being kissed in dumb silence, trying to decide what he could say to that.

There really wasn\'t a lot.

It wasn\'t like he\'d ever deceived her and told her he loved her endlessly; he\'d been very frank about the fact that he told her he was a vampire because he was fairly intent on getting her into bed, in fact.  Things had just... gone awry before that eventuated.  How did that previous outlook fit with his life now, though?  He was in love with Ben (even if he wasn\'t allowed to see him for a while), was estranged from his four hundred year old lover (the first male he\'d ever had) and oh, he was living with his only other male lover who also happened to be his pet that was missing.  And still hadn\'t bedded the man he was in love with.

How the fuck was Mandy supposed to fit in in the middle of all that?  Looking at her, it was obvious that she didn\'t care, all she wanted was to spend time with him.  At that moment, he would rather not have been winning invisible popularity stakes that he didn\'t even know he\'d entered.  Two nights ago Ichabod had also been trying to lure him into cheating on Ben; was he being punished now by having endless temptations thrown at him, to test his loyalty to a man who\'d willingly turned his back on him and denied him the knowledge of his location?

ohfuckohshitohgodohfuckohshitohgodwhatthefuckohgod

"Er... " he began (going very smoothly) and then paused to lick his lips.  Once that was done with, he gave speaking another go.  "Uh... I... " he began, then dried up again.  His brain was yammering fifty million different answers at him, thirty zillion different ways to go and not doing a whole fuckload of thinking about what to say in the meantime.  "My life\'s... complicated but... sure."

He gave up.  Agreeing was just easier and they could sort out the semantics later.  He supposed.  The hand that wasn\'t being grappled by her came to his head, to press at his forehead, for he imagined he had a headache, even though that was impossible.  Already, his brain was questioning his decision to agree, wondering what Ben would say when he found out, if he found out and really... he just gave up on thinking, then.  It was too fucking complicated.

He dropped his hand from his head and summoned a watery smile for her.  It was difficult letting go of the thought that she\'d betrayed him with Tag so immediately, but it was made somewhat easier by the fact that she still loved him.  Something petty and desperate within him was glad of that, even if it would roast him eternally over the fires of uncertainty and unhappiness because he wouldn\'t ever get what he really wanted anyway.  It was something.

[Mandy]

It hadn`t exactly been the resounding declaration of acceptance she`d been hoping for, but Mandy would take it nevertheless. A hesitant ‘sure’ was far better than an outright ‘no thank-you’, after all. Perhaps over time, he would come to value her presence nearly as much as she already treasured his? At least that underlying hope again existed. On the plus side, she appeared to have the honor of being the only female the vampire was currently seeing (far as she could tell).

That in itself managed to reassure her a great deal.

 As Kerr`s approval gradually sunk in, her heart began to swell with unimaginable joy. It was amazing, how fast this entire arrangement had come to pass!

 One minute, she was wandering aimlessly throughout the city streets – aching to catch even the briefest glimpse of her preternatural love, and the next – they were reunited (Kerr agreeing to let her be a part of his world yet again). She`d make it worth his while, of this she was sure. Anything he wanted, anything he needed – she would offer it to him willingly. Her body, her blood… her unflinching love and devotion. As long as he permitted her to be by his side (no matter how infrequent those occasions may be) she could tolerate anything life might throw her way. Love it would seem, made people do extraordinary things…

Naturally, she longed to thank him for his consent, but a nagging voice in the back of her mind, forbade her from saying the words ‘thank-you’. She wasn`t a charity case, after all. It wasn`t as though someone were throwing her a proverbial bone. All the same, there had to be a way she could express her unabashed happiness at his decision.

 When in doubt, actions often spoke louder than words.

Utilizing a singularly fluent motion, Mandy unclasped the fasten to her safety belt and let it retract back into the seat – expertly maneuvering over the middle consol of Kerr`s car, onto his lap (one leg straddling either side of his body). He was welcome of course, to push her away if the intimate closeness came too soon, but she coiuldn`t help it. She simply ached to hold him in her arms. To shower him with the affection that had been building up since the night they last spoke. It was practically overflowing as it was.

She trembled; her clothed arms reclaiming their familiar arrangement about his shoulders – lips seeking the smooth surface of his neck. Heaven help her, but he felt so good. Hopefully, her body would feel as nice to him. From there, she proceeded to press chaste kisses along his throat, fingers winding through the silken underside of his hair. If he pulled away… if he recoiled from her touch, she would stop without question. Try again at a later date, after he`d had some time to mentally prepare for her attentions. But she so longed to kiss him. Just a kiss for now - anything more (and this was assuming he still desired more), could come after the pair had once again rekindled their connection.

“I love you,” she reaffirmed and nuzzled his ear, “Anything for you…”