Ben\'s Condition - Part IV

[Trillian]

[ continued from [URL=http://www.roleplaycity.com/forums/showthread.php?t=4133]Part III [/URL]][/I]

THE ALLEY TRICK was something that was done every night (but not always near Risk, the youths would start being taken to entirely different blocks on the premise of going home with the two blonde vampires), and Ben was in fact becoming desensitised to those Lazarus selected and had him almost fully drain before the Ancient made the final kill. Ben was still having trouble performing the last bite, to know that he was murdering someone as opposed to helping Lazarus murder someone. He supposed there was no real difference ultimately, because he wasn’t trying to save these boys, all young, watching their life expire in Lazarus’ hands, but he still found in himself that he perceived a difference, and he couldn’t take them into death.

It was around the beginning of his detachment that Lazarus started adding a different element to the kills. With Ben nearby, he’d partially undress the half-drained youths without their protest, and hold them up against the wall while he fucked them. At first Ben had looked away, but Lazarus had insisted he watch to encourage the death and sex instruction that Ben had agreed to –without protest – and so Ben watched, thinking that Lazarus had some really weird ideas. It was the next night that he realised the prospect of killing someone turned the Ancient on, and that was why he’d started this little performance. Ben had asked him if Lazarus had done this sort of thing before, and the blonde announced of course he had for what else would he do with a raging erection and a warm body in front of him?, which settled that.

Now Ben was sitting on top of a dumpster while Lazarus unbuckled and unzipped his jeans before inserting himself into the body of their latest victim, holding the youth up with his shoulders against the wall and his legs around Lazarus while the vampire bucked and shoved in and out of him. Ben had noticed that this latest victim had been a little weaker than some of the others, and now his lethargic movements were stilling. The kid was dying while Lazarus was screwing him. Ben waited until eyes glazed over and arms dropped, head lolling to one side before letting the Ancient know.

“Lazarus, you’re fucking a corpse,” he informed him, expecting the Ancient to recoil. His expectations weren’t met as Lazarus continued to pump with the same enthusiasm, working to orgasm as fast as he could.

“He’s, still, warm,” Lazarus said, his words sounding out with every thrust forward. Ben frowned and watched Lazarus continue to pummel himself into what was now a dead body, and finally looked away down the mouth of the alley because he was being pulled to look that way for a reason that he couldn’t quite fathom properly, flinching with surprise at seeing someone watching them, and he’d known, hadn’t he? He’d sensed it. Vampire vision helped him see exactly who it was, which meant they could see exactly what was going on here because the intruder was a vampire as well, and it wasn’t like it was hard to work out, what with Lazarus grunting as he neared orgasm and then sighing when he came.

Oh no, oh no, not here, not now, not like this, not here, not here, not now

“Kerr,” he said softly, wondering if his sire had been on his way to Risk, three blocks away.

[Existentially Odd]

The only expression on Kerr\'s face was the tiniest of frowns as he stood there, frozen to the spot, with his hands thrust unassumingly into his deep coat pockets, trying his damndest to understand what the fuck was going on. The fact that Lazarus was fucking a corpse didn\'t bother him much at all. The fact that Ben was with him... was watching on with the blasé attitude of one who has seen this sort of thing numerous times before... that was what bothered him.

He was suddenly very, very scared.

"Ben," he said in response to his name, unable to get anything else out or to move. This was certainly one of the only times in his life he could ever remember having absolutely no ability to move or think whatsoever. Every time he considered either, he just shut down. What he was seeing, everything he then began to contemplate... it horrified him in ways he didn\'t want to deal with. Ben was with Lazarus, after all; nothing good could ever come from that.

[Trillian]

Ben continued to stare from his heightened position on the dumpster, legs dangling, shoulders hunched as he gripped the edge of the metal bin, looking at Kerr and expecting his sire to say a hell of a lot more than his name. Lazarus had heard both of their greetings, and had dropped the body to the ground, hurriedly shoving his half-fading erection into his pants without worrying about the discomfort, and zipped up while he addressed the Irishman.

"Kerr!" he said, continuing the cycle of announcing names, walking - a little awkwardly - over to where Ben sat, and leaning against the dumpster near the fledge, taking ownership of him in that one closing movement. "Fancy bumping into you in the middle of an alley," he said with a smirk. Ben could do nothing except stare at his sire, unable to think, feel or act for the moment, other than to be horrified that he was caught here and now.

[Existentially Odd]

Something compelled Kerr to move into the alley; likely it was Lazarus moving away from him and making the situation seem to be retreating even farther. Ben had been lost to him for three weeks. He loathed the thought that he\'d been with the Ancient that entire time, but that was exactly the conclusion he was drawing, when faced with their proximity to one another. What the fuck had the elder done to his fledgling?

Moving stiltedly, Kerr took enough steps to bring him even with the dead boy, then turned to stare at him as if he\'d never seen a corpse before. The indignity of the child folded up like a used rag doll, with his pants around his ankles and that shocked look glazing his eyes was too much for the Irishman to bear; he winced as he turned back to look at Lazarus... but his stare found Ben instead.

Now, words failed him as he looked at his progeny, as if the victim was a slight against him and it hurt him a great deal.  After a swallow and a long minute, his gaze shifted to Lazarus.  "Fancy," he sneered, his lip curling as he stared at the ancient like he was nothing more than the filth coating the cement at their feet.

[Trillian]

Ben could only meet Kerr\'s stare for as long as he was looked at, and once his sire\'s gaze shifted, Ben had the decency to lower his gaze, ashamed. Lazarus caught this motion in his peripheral vision, and scowled. Kerr\'s presence here was one step backward for Ben, who had been progressing quite well down the path of emotionlessness.

"Oh come on, you\'re going to mourn the willing?" Lazarus sniped, then pointedly looked at Ben, who was still staring at the alley floor before looking back at Kerr, making his point that the willing wasn\'t necessarily one dead youth in this street.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr\'s gaze narrowed hatefully on the ancient and every bad feeling he\'d had with regard to the blonde welled... and trebled within him. Where once he\'d had a healthy respect for the old one\'s existence, he now saw fickleness and fragility, despising the man for how he chose to make his way through the world.

"Willing?" he spat.  "No, what would be the point of that?  I mourn the young and the weak, who are too blinded by your smoke and sleight of hand tricks to see you for the asshole you really are," he snarled, intent on letting the man know that he held absolutely no respect for his conduct. He thought of Ben when he spoke but also of Ichabod... and himself.

"You\'re nothing but a pitiful magician, preying on those too dazzled by your fast talking bullshit to know how rotten your core is - or to even stop and question that shiver of apprehension that runs down their spine in your presence."

[Trillian]

Ben was moved enough by Kerr\'s words for his gaze to lift and look at him again, and he found it was easier to watch him when Kerr was glaring at Lazarus. Kerr had a lot of influence with him, despite Ben being sore about what had happened between them, and despite his desire to get over how he felt about Kerr.

Lazarus scoffed at Kerr\'s words. "The difference between you and me, love, is that I say what I really think and feel, despite how fickle or shallow that might be - and those who are dazzled by such a simple thing are simply dazzled by the truth, because they\'ve never been offered it before."  Lazarus\' eyes narrowed, and he was badly wanting to take Ben out of here, to get him away from Kerr.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr took a few swift steps forward, unafraid of getting closer to the ancient, rather liking the idea of being physically in his space. He pushed his face aggressively towards the other\'s, withdrawing his hands from his pockets slowly - though Lazarus would likely notice it in his peripheral vision.

"There are many differences between you and me... love," Kerr growled, his gaze deliberately running over Lazarus\' form, as if everything he saw disgusted him. Even though the angle wasn\'t fabulous because he was so close, his meaning was clear. His gaze was glittering as it returned challengingly to the grey ones just beyond his nose. "And I\'ve never been more glad of anything in my whole fucking life," he finished, his voice a low growl, heavily accented with his native brogue as his passion for what he said shone through.

[Trillian]

Lazarus was getting wound up, and Ben could see that there would be a battle between the pair of them. He didn\'t want that to happen, he didn\'t want any of this to happen.

"Stop."

It was said softly, but caught Lazarus\' attention enough for him to unwind a little, though he was still wary that Kerr might launch an attack.

[Existentially Odd]

Hearing Ben\'s voice again... softly spoken... seeing it have an effect on the ancient before him... hurt his heart more than he would like to admit. He couldn\'t bring himself to look up at his fledgling, though; it would break him when he couldn\'t afford the weakness. He didn\'t feel there was a lot of point in questioning Ben\'s decision to be with Lazarus, not like this. He was too worked up, the situation was too emotional for him, the horror of it... sapped his will anyway.

With stiff shoulders, he took a step back from Lazarus. Though he didn\'t look up at his beloved, his words were addressed to him. "Stop?" he hissed, thrusting his chin towards the ancient, lip curled. "He doesn\'t know the meaning of the word. He doesn\'t stop until everything\'s in ruins, on fire, walled up and shattered around him... and then he walks away from every bit of devastation he causes, taking no responsibility.  He doesn\'t know the meaning... of \'stop\'." Kerr\'s voice sped up as he described the destruction he\'d seen Lazarus wield, both on Ichabod and on the city before that, but slowed towards the end of his words.

He\'d witnessed the confusion firsthand and he knew the man\'s power. That didn\'t mean he respected it. Taking his own advice - and possibly to prove his point - he spun on his heel and began to walk back down the alley, a foul taste in his mouth. Ben knew where to find him; he should\'ve known where he\'d be safe. Kerr banked on that as he left them, not having anything more worthwhile to say... wanting to be the one that stopped.

[Trillian]

Ben noted Kerr\'s words, filing them away, the truth of them resonating throughout him - yes, it was true, Lazarus destroyed what he touched, because he didn\'t care about it, and wasn\'t that the sacrifice of emotions, of compassion? If Ben wanted not to be hurt, then didn\'t that mean he was also without emotion? Suddenly he wasn\'t sure of his choice, and as Kerr turned his back and walked away, he jumped off the bin, intending to catch up with his sire and explain, but Lazarus caught his arm and was in his ear.

"Did he ask you to come home with him?" he hissed.  "Did he walk away from me, or from you?"

Ben\'s heart clenched and he lowered his gaze, no longer trying to tug away from the Ancient. Lazarus was speaking the truth, Kerr had turned his back on both of them, and in doing so he knew Kerr could still hurt him.

"How easily he gives up on you," Lazarus sneered, before wrapping an arm around the fledgling\'s shoulders.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr\'s steps slowed - and his senses leaped - when he heard Ben jump down off the dumpster. His head half turned and he could practically feel his arm being grabbed to detain him, his fledgling\'s arms going around him in despair, hear him confessing how stupid he was to be with Lazarus...

What he heard was entirely different, of course. He didn\'t catch the first words the ancient said, but he\'d stopped completely for that final statement. Incredulously, he spun once more, shocked to see Ben looking defeatedly at the alley floor, his arm in the ancient\'s grip. The scene made a lot of things very clear, very quickly.

"Fuck you," he growled, swooping back to his former postion before Lazarus, though he was very deliberately pressed against Ben, keeping the fledgling between them.

You are the tassels that brom Bones and his rival fight over... the prince will think himself a pawn...

The words he\'d committed to heart came to him now and, with a flash of insight, he looked down at Ben. "I\'m sorry I didn\'t tell you before but.... I only realised after you were gone. No-one has a right to me; yours is the only claim I care about. No-one else matters and I\'m sorry if you thought they ever did," he told him gently, a soft and apologetic frown creasing his forehead.

His expression hardened as he then looked up at Lazarus once more.  "I will never give up on him," he seethed, his teeth gritted and his heart in every word he spoke. He wanted to add things about how Lazarus gave up on people, how fickle he seemed to give away Ichabod, who he\'d claimed was precious. Kerr believed none of it now, though, and he didn\'t bother talking of such things. It was implied.

[Trillian]

Ben\'s gaze lifted as soon as he\'d felt Kerr\'s touch, Lazarus felt Ben\'s arm twitch and he tightened his grip on it, certainly causing the fledgling pain but Ben didn\'t cry out. Silvery blue eyes fixed on Kerr\'s face, hearing what he\'d wanted to hear all along.

"And now he fights for you, because you\'re in my hold," Lazarus narrated, but Ben wasn\'t accepting it. Lazarus wouldn\'t imply words if he could say them. "Did you want Ben to replace Ichabod in your bed instead?"

He reminded Ben why he was with Lazarus in the first place, and his words managed a furrow on Ben\'s brow.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr snorted derisively, unswayed by that argument. "Yes, actually. Ichabod was only there briefly and it\'s been rather lonely since he left," he answered Lazarus with an amount of cheer that was very obviously false, hoping Ben got his point.

There was no reason to deny he\'d bedded Ichabod - it wasn\'t like none of them knew - but he did need to let these two know that the mortal and he weren\'t living together any longer. It was essential he downplayed Ichabod\'s claim on him.

The next words out of his mouth were going to be something along the lines of asking if Ben had been in Lazarus\' bed but he faltered, not wanting to think about that. "Ben, is the only one I want in my life," he said instead, his voice very serious now as he stared Lazarus down and made the distinction between bed and life.

[Trillian]

"Now that you have an empty bed!" Lazarus said with about as much glee as Kerr had mustered in the response previous. "You seek out your fledge to fill it. Ben," Lazarus turned his attention away from Kerr and to the vampire caught in the middle, who\'d kept his mouth shut through the conversation. "Are you ready to go home with him and sleep in his bed, to let him kiss you and touch you and fuck you?"

Ben blinked at the relish upon which Lazarus spat out the last word. When Ben hesitated, Lazarus softened his tone and asked a question quickly, before Kerr could interrupt.

"Ask me if it\'s something I\'d do."

Ben already knew the answer. If their positions were reversed, Lazarus would go home with Kerr, and use him. His gaze flicked from the Ancient to Kerr, not wanting to answer.