After Kerr pulled into the mansion\'s driveway, he sat for a while. He hadn\'t driven into the garage; he\'d left the remotes behind months ago, anyway. Even if none of the current occupants could drive the modified van that was the sole resident of the four car building, it had seemed a strange thing, to contemplate taking garage remotes with him. He hadn\'t exactly planned on visiting again and if he had... he wasn\'t intent on driving into the garage like nothing had changed. Like old times.
The rain drummed heavily on the silver sedan\'s roof and he allowed the resonating effects within the vehicle\'s confines to deafen him to everything beyond the rain-slicked glass. The house loomed through the curtain of water, looking familiar but feeling foreign, declaring itself \'home\' to selected parts of him and causing the rest to cringe. He rested his left elbow on the round of the door, against the window glass, and tipped his head towards his fingertips for support, gazing to his right at the place he\'d enjoyed as a sanctuary amongst a great deal of turmoil, when first arriving here.
The city was going to be their salvation, their release. He supposed it had been his and was, even now, somewhat saddened that it never freed the rest of his family like it had him. He doubted they lamented the lack of emancipation and he tried not to pity them that.
The rain gave no sign that its strength would abate and he realised, after ten minutes, that he was only holding the inevitable at bay, so he got out. Despite the downpour, he couldn\'t bring himself to run towards the place, he merely walked quickly and hastened under the cover of the all-round verandah as soon as he could. Dripping, he stopped under cover to shake off the excess water, frowning at a pile of... gore... two or so metres away from him - thankfully, the rain wasn\'t accompanied by wind and so he couldn\'t smell it. It looked something like an animal that had disintegrated in a pool of its own blood. It was now writhing with maggots, its parts not able to identify it as anything other than small - probably a cat. Odd. Still, he let himself into the kitchen and looked around in the darkness, extending the length of time it took him to extract the house key he had kept, simply because he wasn\'t paying attention to what he was doing.
His nose wrinkled in distaste as he finally got the key out and kicked the door closed behind him. The place was a mess. It wasn\'t just the dust of neglect, there were about ten empty blood bags left strewn across the benches, pots and saucepans filled with stagnant water left on the stovetop or piled in and around the sink (which wasn\'t a pleasant smell, especially to extra-sensitive creatures like vampires) and various other unneeded items left dropped on the floor or stacked on benches. These included the old breakfast cereals and tinned foods he\'d bought when he\'d entertained mortals. It looked rather like Sawyl had been flinging it about just for the fuck of it, to see how much mess he could make and whether any rodents would appear (Kerr noted droppings around the cereal crumbs).
He moved through the room quickly, appalled by its general state of disarray and wondering how the Lomans could stand the smell. Their sensory tolerances obviously outweighed their impulse to take care of themselves, however, for nothing was as it should have been as he walked through the formal lounge and out into the foyer. Dust and stale air was everywhere, furniture had been moved randomly - a vase with long-dead flowers in it was even toppled onto the carpet just beyond the kitchen doorway, the stain of mouldy water not going to be easily removed from the expensive, thick-pile floor covering - and it just looked a shambles to Kerr.
He was shaking his head as he reached the black slate-tiled foyer but stopped dead roughly in the middle of where the staircases led to, when he felt them. His mind was heavily blockaded, for he didn\'t want them to see why he was here before he was ready - if he could possibly help that - and so he felt their mental probes before he saw them. Surprise filtered through the blood connection and he looked up, finding six eyes trained towards him.
Sawyl was on his right, as if he\'d just exited his bedroom, and the twins were to the left, looking much the same. The only difference between them all was that the twins were leaning atop the wooden balustrade, gazing serenely down at him, and Wyl\'s pudgy little hands were wrapped around the bars beneath, instead. He\'d dropped to his knees, his forehead resting against one of the rungs and his hair falling forward as he stared silently down at his progeny.
"Please... don\'t push," Kerr said, after he\'d looked between them a few times. His gaze automatically settled on his sire. "I\'ll tell you why I\'m here, I just... don\'t grab at me. Give me a chance to tell you."
Sawyl raised his eyebrows imperiously, his head straightening away from the barrier as he looked across the void towards his mothers. Kerr watched them exchange glances, knowing instinctively that they were communicating because... well, he felt it. It was eerie, to be back here and in this situation again, realising what a strong part of him they were, when he\'d done his best to leave them behind and forge a whole new partnership with someone else. Someone who might also feel this unnerving connectivity, even if he hated it, if he was here. Ben was only a fledgling but Kerr thought he was gifted enough to be that aware. The blood between he and his was thick, after all - yet another reason to keep Mandy out.
"Come up, then," Sawyl ordered in his lilting voice, shifting back onto his heels and then standing up. Kerr watched him begin walking away from the top of the stairs towards the bridge that led to his mothers\' side of the house, his hand trailing along the balustrade as he went, in a very child-like way.
Something about the way he walked caused a sudden upsurge of bitterness to make its way into Kerr\'s craw, almost like it was set on choking him. It was a well of emotion so strong and thick that he could barely contain it; a mixture of love, hatred, loathing, fury, misery... anxiety. Sawyl wore a pair of black dress shoes with big silver buckles, white stockings to his knees, royal blue velvet pantaloons, a white shirt with frilled cuffs and ruff going from his tummy to his throat and a matching royal blue velvet bolero jacket. His hair tumbled wildly about his shoulders and down his back and it was all so... fucking familiar that Kerr ached with it.
Ached.
His head dropped and he stared blindly down at the black slate floor, swallowing convulsively and fighting the overbearing impulse to turn on his heel and just walk out. He didn\'t want to be here anymore, he didn\'t want to be in this situation. He\'d served his time, could remember and predict every one of Wyl\'s nuances, could remember the night they\'d bought that outfit and the several hundred others in his closet, could taste the tears he\'d borne as Sawyl lay crumpled and sobbing across him as he grew - and yet didn\'t - could remember laughing so hard they\'d all cried, could taste his own tears and humiliation when the twins had decided to make a mockery of him, could smell the rain of years and countries long gone, could taste the tang of fear and smell the coppery stench of pools of blood he\'d found too many mortals discarded carelessly in and he just... hated it.
He didn\'t want to be here. No. He didn\'t belong here anymore, they had no more claim to him, yet... yet there was an insidious comfort to it, too. A settling within the blood at his core, an easing of the twang of being apart from them, like a puzzle piece slotted into place. A completion. He hated that, too. He didn\'t want them to be the sum of him, nor even any of his parts but they were and it felt right on a cellular level that even Ben couldn\'t get close to, yet. They were old and he was old and they\'d travelled that road too far together for it to be denied.
Resignedly, Kerr turned towards the bottom of the staircase to his left and ascended the sweeping structure, falling into step behind the others as they entered the twins\' suite. They all settled on the round velvet couch that was there, Sawyl crawling into the twins\' lap and settling himself between them. Kerr had to swallow again when he sat on the regular couch - angled forward so that he was facing them - and caught sight of them; the picture-perfect loving family. Beautiful dolls arranged just so, to present the stereotypical image of love and togetherness. If only it weren\'t skewed by the fact that they were all dead.
Three sets of identical enormous blue eyes blinked expectantly at him and Kerr glanced away, down at his hands, attempting to gather himself for a good presentation. His elbows rested upon his spread knees and his palms were pressed together, in the space between; he rubbed them against one another then, feeling nervous and clearing his throat. He could feel their impatience and so he looked up when he thought he was ready, schooling his voice into calmness.
"I\'ve come to ask a favour," he told them seriously, unable to prevent the wince that surfaced when he felt them battering at him again, unannounced. He\'d lived for months without it and Ben\'s fledgling abilities hardly compared to the Lomans\' - he wasn\'t used to the force of their probing these days, nor the untapped strength underlying that. A moment of panic slithered through him; he was no match for them, he was out of his depth, the whole thing was a mistake and he was better off letting Mandy become whatever the fuck she wanted and just... but fuckit, he couldn\'t do that. He\'d simply have to tough it out.
"A favour?" Sawyl eventually prompted, knowing what Kerr\'s jaw working like that meant and wearing the ghost of a smile because of it.
"Yes. About Mandy."
The twins\' eyes lit up and they began cooing immediately. "We
like her. We
had such a good visit
the other night. She wasn\'t
scared of us at all." Sawyl was more astute at this stage and narrowed his eyes slightly as he watched Kerr, knowing there was likely more to his bringing her up than just that visit. Perhaps because he felt Kerr\'s tension so well.
"No," Kerr sad gruffly, his gaze shifting between Dei and Meinwen automatically. "She said."
It was also odd not to feel... well, anything when he looked at them now, considering he\'d gone from years of hatred and resentment to dismissal and then gratitude just before he left. He\'d had a few civil conversations with one of them on the telephone (he wouldn\'t have been able to say for sure which one because the slight differences in their voices was mostly negated by the distance of a phone line, and thought it was even possible they\'d switched the handset between them so they both had a turn to talk anyway, but he assumed one) since that night as well, about organising things. Now it seemed he was just... empty when looking at them, which was as foreign to him as feeling everything all at once when looking at Sawyl.
Blinking himself out of his momentary contemplation, he continued what he was saying, looking at his sire now. "I know she came to visit you and you helped her out by lifting some false memories; she\'s very grateful," he said, pausing to nibble at his tongue stud. That wasn\'t even the right way to lead into his request! That sentence was going nowhere and he only began to feel less certain of himself when he saw Wyl staring at his lips, knowing he knew that he was nervously biting his tongue stud. "She\'s going to ask you to do something else for her," he said in a rush, his brain clearing enough to be able to connect his beginning sentence with his ending one. "And I want you to refuse her. That\'s what I want. All of you to refuse her."
He looked at them and they stared back, looking vaguely baffled but already contemplative, seeing the position they were being manoeuvred into by this request. They didn\'t have to know the circumstances, Kerr was aware of that. After so long with them - Hell, with people in general - he knew it was an instinctive thing to begin assessing your tactical position even before all the cards were on the table. He\'d told them he was here to ask them a favour and he\'d now told them what that favour was; they might have liked the one more piece of information that told them what Mandy would ask for, but they didn\'t need it. Kerr had put his proposal to them first, hoping they\'d weigh it on its own merits before asking for that last snippet of knowledge.
Naturally, he wouldn\'t get that lucky.
"What\'s she going to ask for?" Sawyl piped up curiously, his high-pitched voice stabbing into the ruminative silence in the room like an ignorant drunk stumbling into a wake.
Kerr swallowed. "She\'s going to ask you to sire her," he told the child steadily, then spared a glance for his dams before looking straight back at Sawyl once more. "And I want you to refuse her," he asserted once more, just in case that fact had been forgotten in the last minute or so.
Sawyl\'s eyes were twinkling as his little brain rapidly processed the consequences of this action. A thrumming in Kerr\'s blood told him that the three of them were in hot debate as they talked about this prospect and, since he\'d told them everything he\'d come to say now, he relaxed his mental block enough that he caught a great deal of it simply because he was in such close proximity and he was so attuned to them.
A new fledgling! She could stay with us
entertain us!
Draw for us!
Hunt with us
- and clean the house.
Ooh, she could. We would be grateful for that
Yes, grateful
and things could be like they once were
- but better, for she is she and not him
Yes, the foolish one, he broke our cherub\'s heart
- No! That\'s not true, I just
There, there, we know
Mandy
Ahh yes, Mandy. That would be lovely. Why must he stop us having her?
It makes no sense
Selfish? Hateful? Resents us?
But why?
You need to find out, love
The babble was rapid-fire and each mental \'voice\' was barely discernable from the others; although Wyl\'s had a quality to it that Kerr recognised, it generally took a second or two. By then, the conversation had moved on and so he felt like he was playing catch-up or listening through a wall the whole time. For this reason, he was extremely surprised to see Sawyl spring off the couch and stand before him with one outstretched hand.
"Come with me," he ordered bluntly, that light of interest in his eye only causing him to look entirely devious now. "We need to talk."
Kerr looked warily from the hand back to his sire\'s face, almost as if the limb might bite him. It felt like there was a chasm between them at that moment - one he was comfortable with - but that reaching across it to touch Sawyl would... it would be like... approving, or something. It would mean he condoned the fact that Sawyl had tried to kill him when last he was in this house... and that he\'d forgiven him. Willing touch would be an act of forgiveness, which he didn\'t.
The problem was, it would also appease Sawyl and, if he hoped to win the child\'s favour, he needed to do that above all. It seemed that he was to make the choice between Mandy and his own self-respect. After a moment, he stood fluidly and took Wyl\'s soft little hand into his, old habit wrapping his long fingers tenderly around it without hesitation. Frankly, it wasn\'t the first time he\'d let himself down, in the face of getting something from Sawyl... this wasn\'t even the worst, in his opinion (and the brief flash of remembering the sex that was, was just as quickly stifled back in the shuddering depths of his mind).
Sawyl smiled beatifically as his hand was taken and he turned and led Kerr out of the room, his grip placid within the adult\'s hand. Obviously, he wanted to be alone with his progeny to continue this interrogation. Kerr was resigned to his fate already, expecting he would be taken to Wyl\'s bedroom and surprised when they reached the east wing of the mansion and veered off, instead, towards his old bedroom.
As soon as they stepped inside, he realised that Sawyl was a fucking strategic genius, even if he played it coy and simple on the outside. Powerful memories assaulted his nostrils as he smelled the room, invaded his mind as he looked upon his beloved bed - with its familiar green tartan quilt cover and four matching pillows - weakened his resolve as he recalled living here, showering here, sleeping here, almost dying here. He\'d left this room when faced with that last, monumental occurrence and it dominated his senses, crippling him.
Very suddenly, he ached for Ben; desperately missed his comforting embrace, the security of his love. The bed... he clung to the thought of the mortal man sleeping in it with him, sharing their first kiss there... their first fight. They\'d certainly had many of those since but Ben was safety now, he was certainty where Sawyl was the opposite and Kerr craved it, hated this instability and fucking... debilitating weakness in the face of Sawyl\'s sly machinations. He was being played by being taken in here and he didn\'t like it because it was a merry-go-round that he couldn\'t get off, a dance he was committed to.
If he wanted to get what he\'d come for, he\'d have to jump through Sawyl\'s hoops first. He gritted his teeth as he was walked to the bed and his hand released in a manner - and with a gesture - that clearly told him his sire wished for him to sit. Kerr glared at the tiny vampire briefly, then forced his gaze downward.
Open hostility wasn\'t going to get him anywhere, either; instead he watched avidly as he toed off his own shoes, pretending like there was something annoying and fascinating about that. Afterwards, he leaned forward and arranged two pillows against the middle of the headboard, so that he\'d be able to have them cushion his back. Almost stiffly - like a robot being controlled by a distant remote - he then stepped onto the bed and sat down in the position he\'d arranged for himself, long, denim-clad legs stretched out straight along the bed, hands on his thighs and back against the headboard. He felt eerily like a mannequin at that moment.
Predictably, Sawyl kicked off his own shoes and scrambled up onto the huge bed, having no qualms about perching himself atop Kerr\'s thighs, straddling his muscular legs so that he was basically kneeling over him (feet angled behind him, lower legs flush with Kerr\'s), though his bottom was rested quite firmly just near the adult\'s knees. His little hands rested on his own thighs, though his right hand lifted and poked authoritatively against Kerr\'s chest within a matter of moments.
"What\'s that? Take your shirt off," he demanded, steering the course in a direction Kerr wasn\'t at all prepared for.
Startled, the Irishman looked down and saw Wyl\'s finger was nudging the tattoo he\'d got the other night, over his heart. Stupid, he cursed himself, having given no thought to the fact that he was wearing a white T-shirt that had become soaked - and, therefore, see-through - on his walk in the rain. The outline of the word \'Ben\' was clearly seen due to the black ink, though it wasn\'t decipherable if one didn\'t know what they were looking at.
"I got some new tattoos," he told Sawyl stiffly, looking warily at his sire and making no move to take his shirt off.
"Show me," the child instructed guilelessly, widening his large blue eyes at the Irishman with a very practised air.
Kerr frowned, gnawing on his tongue stud and thinking about how much he didn\'t want to take his shirt off. It would make him feel more vulnerable - but that was likely Sawyl\'s aim, wasn\'t it? He supposed a bit of reverse psychology (and a silent pep talk) might be in order. Plus, he was still trying to be appeasing, to keep the child calm. If he became angry, he could well try to kill him again and he didn\'t want that; especially after he\'d promised his lover that he\'d be fine and return soon.
"I don\'t see what this has to do with Mandy," he grumbled, but leaned forward off the pillows, pulled the hem of the white cotton shirt free of his waistband and then removed the garment, holding it in his right hand as he lowered it to the bed, leaning on the mattress now. His left hand smoothed over his hair, inadvertently causing his pectoral muscle to flex and Ben\'s name to dance merrily on his broad chest.
Sawyl\'s lips pursed and he didn\'t look too happy, now that he could see the tattoo properly. His gaze roved over Kerr\'s wide-shouldered, triangular form almost hungrily, like this was something he\'d been wanting to see for a long time and couldn\'t help but admire it, now it was on view once more. His astute gaze soon found the curling \'n\' near Kerr\'s hip and he poked it, too. "What\'s that one?"
"Ben\'s name as well. His full name," Kerr responded stiffly, not intending to lower his pants to show Sawyl that.
"Benjamen?"
"Yes."
Sawyl giggled and it had a nasty quality to it. "Does it start on your cock?" he sneered, looking intently into Kerr\'s brown eyes. His progeny\'s jaw set and he didn\'t answer, so Wyl continued. "You know, you probably could\'ve got his entire name tattooed along it, if you were hard at the time, though I\' spose you\'d only see-"
"Sawyl!" Kerr barked, embarrassed by the intimate nature of the conversation and wanting it to stop. His sire fell silent immediately, which relieved him - even though he knew it wouldn\'t last. Especially when he saw the pretty head tilt thoughtfully, a dimpled little hand reaching up to brush wayward curls aside so he could see the adult\'s face clearly.
"How is Ben?" he asked seriously, as if the answer might well solve the problem of world peace.
"He\'s fine."
"Good to know. Is he over the fact that we\'re lovers, yet?"
Kerr\'s gaze hardened and a smile danced at the corner of Sawyl\'s mouth as he saw his barb hit its mark, though he tried to contain his satisfaction.
"We\'re not lovers," Kerr spat. "We just... "
"Had some sex a few times?" Sawyl prompted, when the other seemed to run out of words. He said it with his lower lip protruding, in a babying voice like he was showing sympathy to a small child who had a boo-boo.
"Once."
"Depends on your definition, doesn\'t it?"
"I\'m not here to talk about that, I\'m here to talk about Mandy."
"I know," Sawyl smiled condescendingly, batting his eyelashes at his companion so that he looked very cute and coy indeed, "but I don\'t want to talk about that just yet. I want to know about you and Ben. I assume you\'re alright with the word lovers with regard to him, hmm?"
"I don\'t want to talk about him with you," Kerr maintained, growing angry.
"So, you two... there\'s lots of sex, then? Nightly fucking?" Sawyl continued mildly, as if he hadn\'t heard a word his progeny had said.
Kerr gave the child a beleaguered look, appeal in his eyes. "Do I have to talk about Ben?" he asked, disliking the whining quality he could hear in his own voice.
Sawyl\'s demeanour changed and his expression hardened instantly, his soft, rosebud mouth compressing into an angry, harsh line across the lower half of his face. He leaned forward slightly, nose coming close to Kerr\'s as he answered in a harsh whisper. "Oh yes. Yes, I think that if you\'re here to ask my favour, then you damn well will talk about any fucking thing I want," he hissed, eyes narrowed hatefully.
Kerr\'s gaze dropped to where Sawyl sat on his legs, those mixed emotions flaring within him again. It occurred to him, only then, that a lot of what he was feeling he was receiving from Sawyl and that the two of them were as tangled about being together again as each other. They both loved and hated equally, wanting different things but mostly not to have to be together because it was so fucking difficult and that... saddened him. The angst was amplified by Sawyl and it just made everything more twisted and harder to see his way clear of. He wouldn\'t be able to fight the child, nor deny him his piece of flesh for the price he was asking... but it might yet get him what he wanted, so... he had to try.
He gave a curt nod, still looking downward, that acknowledged Sawyl\'s dominance of the conversation, his silence ensuring that the child could continue as he saw fit.
"So," Sawyl eventually said, his voice light and casual once more - his face had cleared up like the sun chasing away fog, too, though Kerr was determined not to look up at him now, "you and Ben; nightly sex?"
"Yes."
"Is it good?"
"The best."
Sawyl\'s eyebrows rose. "Ever?"
"Yes."
"Better than women?"
"It\'s different... yes, better."
"Because you love him?" Wyl sneered and smirked as Kerr\'s gaze lifted at last, meeting his hotly.
"Yes. Because he\'s the only person I\'ve ever loved," he snapped and was rewarded by Sawyl wincing as his dart landed exactly where he\'d intended it to. Stupidly, he felt remorseful, because he had loved Sawyl, the child was the only one who\'d made him feel at all, until Ben and Mandy came along. He was also the only one for whom Kerr had felt anything close to how he felt for Ben... but he couldn\'t back down now.
"Right," Wyl spat, pulling a face like there was a bad taste in his mouth. Silence rose between them and eventually Sawyl was able to break it. "So what\'s new with you two, then?"
Because he still felt rather guilty about striking back at Wyl, Kerr wa compelled to answer honestly. "We\'re going home tomorrow night, for a holiday."
"Home?"
"Ireland. Scotland. England... you know, the U.K. in general. Ben\'s never travelled overseas."
"What a nice trip for him to begin with."
"You sound bitter."
"Really? Just because you\'re taking him home to show him our sights and tell him our stories? Can\'t imagine why I\'d sound bitter."
The silence fell again, the tension becoming palpabale as the two worked on getting each other more upset. This time, it was Kerr who broke it. "You can use the jet any time, you know that."
"Mmm. Even though I have no idea how all the customs stuff worked, because you always handled that."
"I would tell you," Kerr said through gritted teeth.
"One day," Sawyl dismissed, rolling his eyes and giving a flick with his hand that well and truly pushed the topic away. He looked at the adult intently, having thought of something else to say. "How does the other vampire fit into all this? The other sire?"
"He... doesn\'t, really. Ben goes and sees him occasionally, but we don\'t exactly hang out."
"So it\'s almost like... Ben has one sire."
"I... suppose."
Something about Kerr\'s answer - the way his eyes flickered toward Sawyl\'s, maybe - gave Wyl the feeling that was more to this than was first apparent. "And you\'re working on that? Trading blood so that yours will be stronger and he\'ll be cut out?" he guessed interestedly.
Kerr chewed on his tongue stud and refrained from answering, but his almost guilty look gave him away regardless. Sawyl was satisfied, his grin smug as he let the matter drop.
"So... you\'re taking him to the old country - to show him where we began?"
Kerr didn\'t like the implication, the possessive way Sawyl talked about them beginning there together, but he could hardly fight it, when it was true. Their mortal lives had begun at different times and in entirely separate ways, but their immortal ones were irrevocably and inarguably entwined; it was just that the child was... insinuating intimacy, with his phrasing. Intimacy that Kerr felt they were both not interested in claiming any longer. But, like an addict who never truly gets the need out of his system, Sawyl couldn\'t help laying claim to his progeny, just as Kerr couldn\'t help deferring to the boy.
"Yes."
"You\'ll take him to the castle?"
Kerr frowned. "Which one? Angus\' or... mine?"
Sawyl\'s lips twisted over the hesitation before the last word. "Ours," he said deliberately, for they\'d spent many decades in the Scottish keep, Kerr happily filling the place with antiques, Sawyl and his mothers playing games down in the dungeons. It was certainly a communally-owned castle and Sawyl felt it a slap in the face for Kerr to call it his alone... and his tone stated that clearly enough. "Make sure you show him the other, as well, though. Show him where we left his chopped up bits for animals to haggle over until the sun rose to burn him to cinders, won\'t you?"
A cruel, insane little giggle issued forth from Sawyl and Kerr felt the stab of an old pain, of fifty years of mourning and wailing as Wyl lamented his brutal assaults at Angus\' hands and came to terms with the fact that he would never be a man. He\'d suffered unspeakably in that castle - so much so that he very rarely ever said the monster\'s name, just referred to him as \'he\' and \'him\', knowing Kerr would understand who he meant. Sometimes it seemed as if the ripples of that torture would never stop, and the sharpness of Sawyl\'s pain never become dulled.
"I... will," Kerr conceded quietly, for he owed Sawyl that. The memories were thick about him now.
Oddly, his kind tone seemed to effect the child more than had been intended. The laughter faded instantly and he gazed woundedly at Kerr, eyes shimmering with pain, little mouth trembling, face suddenly skewed with angst. They looked at one another for a few moments, the connection raw and hurtful, and Sawyl lifted his right hand to tenderly cup Kerr\'s cheek.
"Do you know why I chose you?" he whispered, his voice as sweet as that of an angel singing from Heaven itself.
"No," Kerr croaked, overcome by the moment and the subject. He\'d had suspicions about why it had been him that Angus had taken from the village, of course - mostly he\'d believed it to have been because Sawyl wanted someone big enough to help him exact his revenge on Angus, and Kerr was the tallest and broadest of the local men. Plus, he\'d had no family to speak of, just parents who despaired of him ever settling down with a wife, so it would be less fuss all round than if a father of sixteen had been taken (for instance). Still, he\'d never really known and he was shocked to think that he would be told now, unprompted, after all this time.
"Because you were kind to me. I know you don\'t even remember - it was nothing to you - but you stopped some boys picking on me one day when I was eight. There were four of them and they\'d started taunting me about my mothers, made me cry and got me so upset that I threw a punch. It was exactly the excuse they wanted, for them to start fighting me. You found us, rolling around in the dirt and you pulled the two that were pounding me off and pushed them away. You knelt down, helped me up and you smiled at me. You checked the cuts that were bleeding on my face, wiped them with a thumb and told me to run home and have my Da fix me up. You said he was clever and would be able to look after me. No-one ever said anything nice about my family," Sawyl said, his voice still a melodious whisper and his eyes swimming with tears.
His gaze was far-off, though, as he looked into Kerr\'s stunned brown eyes, recounting something of great significance to him... that his progeny had never had any idea about. He gave a ghostly smile, his lovely face shining angelically as he finished his story.
"I was overwhelmed and so grateful that I loved you, right then. Just... instantly fell in love with you, in my own way. I\'d always thought you would be like the children - the biggest were always the meanest - but you proved you weren\'t, that you knew who I was and what family I came from and didn\'t care, because you\'d helped me. I think I was too shocked to even thank you, but you turned me towards my home when I just stood there gaping at you and you gave me a little push in the right direction. I stumbled away, watching you over my shoulder as you stood up. My how you roared at those boys! You were fearsome then, like a storm unleashed and the boys all cried and ran away when you told them to get or you\'d speak to their parents. I was hiding in some trees by then and I felt so... happy."
Sawyl\'s gaze shifted and it was obvious that he\'d brought himself back from his distant reverie and was looking at Kerr in the here and now - though he was still smiling and glowing with the memory. "How ironic that one of them was your own son," he mused, issuing a breathy laugh at the thought that Kerr would have had to let himself know that his big, fifteen year old son was a bully who enjoyed teasing little, helpless children - not that anyone but Kerr and the coy Lady Maguire knew, at that stage. "That\'s why I chose you, though; because you were kind to me and I knew you\'d help me get away from him. You might have thought I listened to the talk of your reputation but I didn\'t; you were kind to me."
Kerr shook his head dazedly, realising that Sawyl was likely referring to the reputation he\'d had in the village... for being a soft cock. He was teased pretty relentlessly himself, for being a lover not a fighter, never going on hunts, never slaughtering his own livestock (leaving it up to his father to put meat on their table), never settling down. Of course, he\'d been caught a time or two in beds he should never have lain in by then as well, so he had that reputation to bear too, but Sawyl would never have heard such things. It was obvious he\'d put his own slant on the reputation for being unmanly, as well, and glorified it according to his own childish reverence.
"No... I thought you picked me because... I was big enough to take on Angus. I barely remember that incident; I vaguely recall being horrified that Seamus was such an asshole and that I had to stop it, I don\'t remember at all what I said to you... that it even was you."
"I didn\'t think you would," Sawyl said sweetly, lowering his hand to Kerr\'s arm to get a grip that would help him slide forward along his thighs. Once there, pressed intimately close, he leaned up and curled his arms about Kerr\'s neck, his lips against his progeny\'s right ear. "I was connected to you long before you even remember. You\'ll always be a part of me," he said softly, but his grip and his voice both hardened noticeably with his next words. "But you turned on me, betrayed me, decided to take yourself away and leave me alone again. You left me vulnerable."
Kerr swallowed, waves of guilt rolling through him as he was assaulted by the full force of Sawyl\'s despair. He could feel his loss and the hoeplessness that his supposed abandonment had caused and his arms came up to enclose the little body automatically, squeezing him against his chest regretfully. "I\'m sorry... I\'m sorry," he whispered, blinded by the passionate feelings swamping him - to the point that he could no longer see how he was being manipulated, until it was too late.
"Then you won\'t deny me," the child whispered back.
Kerr stiffened. "Deny you what?"
Sawyl untangled his arms but his hands trailed over Kerr\'s shoulders and came to rest upon his chest as he blinked innocently up at the adult. "Mandy," he responded simply.
Kerr experienced a moment of vertigo, feeling stupid and weightless all at once. "I have to," he implored.
"Why? You left me. You have Ben. I have no-one left to be kind to me, to care about me, to love me like you did. Mandy would."
"I... I know she would but... but I don\'t want her to be part of us."
"To share our blood?"
"Yes."
"Like Ben does?"
"I... "
"Like you\'re trying to have Ben share even more strongly, and eliminate the other sire altogether?"
"It\'s not like that!"
"Oh, no? It\'s not like you\'re exalting in him being part of us; you never bring him round to visit with us."
"You attacked him and Arles!"
"So? I got my point across; he got you. It\'s all fair now. If you cared enough to help us out - like you say you do - then you\'d share him with us, but you don\'t. You\'ve changed. We\'re like a dirty little secret you\'re trying to deny."
"That\'s not true!"
"Really? You don\'t come round; only Mandy comes round to visit and now you won\'t even let me have that."
"She\'s not doing it for you, she wants me!" Kerr cried, flustered enough that the truth simply exploded out of him. "She thinks that if she becomes immortal, then she can be around long enough for me to love her like she loves me, and fall out of love with Ben!"
"And she\'s wrong?" Sawyl smirked, liking the sound of that plan - if not the content. He had to admire the woman\'s ingenuity, even if he didn\'t particularly admire her choice of love.
"Yes! All she\'ll do is come between Ben and I because her blood connection to me will be stronger than his!"
It was like a bomb had suddenly gone off in the bathroom. Sawyl\'s hands dropped from Kerr\'s chest and he sat back, as if admiring the work of despair he\'d created. He was fully aware that he\'d got to the heart of the matter, Kerr\'s distress was obvious. He had absolutely no advantage. The pregnant silence stretched while Kerr fought with himself, trying to get his raging emotions under control, mourning how he\'d been manipulated so expertly into revealing himself in his entirety. Sawyl held all the cards now.
"So," the child eventually crooned, his tone smug, "let me get this straight. You don\'t care about us enough to visit or bring your lover around to visit - even though you acknowledge that he\'s part of our bloodline - but you expect us to not do what you did, and invite a stranger into our circle - even though we very clearly could do with some help around here, and some love and kindness that she\'d provide - because... it would be a favour to you? Do you realise how fucking selfish you are?"
"Yes!" Kerr shouted his anguish, closing his eyes briefly in an effort to gain control of himself. He felt close to tears, down and out, despairing that Sawyl would not comply with his desires. Put like that, even he wouldn\'t agree with him. Wyl had very solidly and deliberately made his case; Kerr had never realised that he had such a wily skill in him.
Opening his eyes at last, he managed to continue. "Yes, I do realise how selfish that sounds - but look, I\'m not saying you can\'t have anything to do with her. I just don\'t want you to sire her. I\'m hoping she\'ll give up on the idea once you refuse her but if she doesn\'t and she gets someone else to do it, then you can bring her here and train her and be her sire, just in name only; I wouldn\'t care about that!" he exclaimed, hands rising to gesture, words tumbling rapidly from his lips.
Sawyl\'s head tilted again. "And attempt to overtake her sire\'s blood with mine, like you\'re doing with Ben?"
"No," Kerr barked, his answer firm. "No trading of blood between the two of you at all."
"And what, pray tell, are you going to offer me, in order that I grant this enormous favour?" Sawyl asked, his voice dreamy and sing-songish. His eyelashes were fluttering again, as if he were deeply offended by all words so far. "If I were, I mean," he corrected, apparently making a blunder like he hadn\'t meant to imply to Kerr that he would agree to the deal.
Frankly, though he instinctively didn\'t want to, he saw more opportunity for leverage if he gave in to Kerr. He had few qualms about the whole thing, really; if he could still take Mandy into his home, they would have all the benefits of her presence and be able to train her as they saw fit, the only thing that would be lacking would be the blood connection. Time would overcome that, as her abilities increased. He was sure she\'d be an excellent pupil.
Kerr gulped, looking fearfully at his sire now, understanding what a precipice he was hanging over. Either Sawyl was toying with him (which he didn\'t doubt), or he\'d just been more or less told that if his offer was good enough, he\'d be granted his wish. At the very least, the tiny vampire certainly seemed to be considering it.
"What do you want?"
Wyl\'s grin broadened and his gaze shifted off Kerr, to the headboard behind him and then continued sightlessly to the wall beyond that. What did he want? It was hard to say, for sure; he actually wanted Mandy to be the one to come and live with them and be his fledgling, now that he knew it was on the table but, in the interests of gaining even more benefits of a long-term flavour, he\'d have to give this some serious thought.
The silence stretched as he processed it, half wishing he was closer to his mothers to confer with them but also glad they weren\'t present to confuse the situation. ventually he realised that because he couldn\'t decide... his decision actually was made. With a triumphant smile, he looked back into Kerr\'s eyes, fidgeting upon the adult\'s lap now that he knew what a fabulous position he was in; he was excited beyond being able to sit still.
"I have a couple of conditions."
"Name them."
"First; that you and Ben should visit us regularly. Like... once a week."
Kerr\'s jaw dropped. Ben would never agree to that - especially if Mandy actually was living in the house. "No."
"Oh. Well then, it was nice doing business with you-"
"Wait! Don\'t get up!"
"No need to grab at me!"
"Sorry, just... just listen okay?"
"... I\'m listening."
"I have no idea why you want that but... Ben won\'t want to come here and see you - not weekly. I... probably... might... be able to talk him around. After a while. Eventually. But he really won\'t come here if Mandy\'s in the house."
"Ah... so she\'s enemy number one, I take it?"
"Well... at the moment, yes."
"And if she wasn\'t in the house?"
"Then... it should be possible. But not weekly. More like... monthly."
"So. A monthly visit with my mams and I, as long as Mandy isn\'t in the mansion?"
"Y... yes?"
"Done," Sawyl agreed, nodding his head perfunctorily.
"You promise you won\'t hurt him, right?"
"I promise," Sawyl vowed solemnly, holding up his little right hand in a very stoic and honourable way.
"Why do you even want me to bring him here, then?"
"I just want to see how you\'ve been training him - as you say, he\'s part of our bloodline, so he should be trained by us as wel- don\'t groan like that!"
"I won\'t let you torture him, either!"
"He won\'t be tortured!"
"Really? I seem to remember some rather torturous sessions with the lot of you while you trained me."
"You had no natural ability whatsoever and were completely gauche. What\'s Ben like?"
"He\'s..."
"Well?"
"Oh, alright - he\'s excellent! He communicates and blocks with me perfectly, he just can\'t do too much else yet."
"Well fuck, he\'s not even meant to be able to do that well, yet - especially since you\'re only one half of his sires. Hey! We could strengthen his bond by trading blood with him too!"
Kerr didn\'t know whether to be horrified or grateful; his expression was basically stunned with a touch of panic. Sawyl giggled and it broke him out of it.
"Don\'t you dare attempt that without his consent first!"
"Pfft, I won\'t."
"No... don\'t do that. No hollow agreement and dismissive hand waving - promise you won\'t attempt that without talking about it first - and not on the first visit, either!"
"Fine."
"Good."
"Now... the other thing..."
"Fuck, \'other\' thing?" Kerr demanded incredulously. Already, what Sawyl had asked was going to be such a huge hurdle to overcome that he\'d completely forgotten the boy had said that there were two things.
"Yes, the other thing," Wyl snapped, sounding impatient. Again, he wriggled on Kerr\'s legs, as if settling himself to deliver an operatic version of the national anthem. "You\'ll owe me a favour."
"What is it?"
"That\'s it... just... a favour. Something I won\'t name now but which I\'ll claim at some point in the future."
"Like what?" Kerr scoffed.
Sawyl\'s expression changed to mutinous once more, his brows lowering and his beautiful lips pouting expressively. "Like something worthy of refusing to take in a fledgling I really want and denying myself something that would make my life as good and complete as yours is! Something worth yours and Ben\'s relationship, I\'d say - wouldn\'t you?" he finished, sneering.
That only made Kerr more nervous. Really, he was asking an awful lot of Sawyl... but the thought that that would be turned around on him one day left him chilled. An open favour, to be claimed whenever Sawyl saw fit, with no boundaries, no limitations, no terms able to be agreed upon in advance. Just something of equal value.
"You want carte blanche," Kerr stated hollowly, that coldness now settling into his spine.
"Is that what it\'s called? I couldn\'t remember, something French," Wyl stated bouncily, back to being sunny and flicking his hand as if the wording really didn\'t bother him too much (and, of course, it didn\'t). "Yes. That\'s what I want. A carte blanche favour from you in return."
"To be claimed..."
"Whenever I see fit."
"With no restriction?"
"None."
"But it will be equal in value?"
"I\'d say so - we\'ll negotiate, when the time comes. If it ever comes. As far as I\'m concerned, it\'s a pretty good deal for you. For all I know, I might never need anything from you in return that you wouldn\'t willingly give, so it shouldn\'t matter, should it?"
"No... I suppose not," Kerr answered slowly, but he was still hesitant. Something about this intangible promise made him even more nervous than the thought of telling Ben he would be required to visit with the other parts of his bloodline in the near future. Probably because he could only conjure dire and hideous things that Sawyl would need help extracting himself from.
"So? Is that a yes?"
"... yes."
"Good. Then we\'re agreed; I won\'t sire Mandy and you will bring Ben around once a month and owe me a favour in future," the boy stated in his lilting voice, holding out his right hand.
Kerr shook it, unable to ignore the thought that he was making a deal with the devil. "And you won\'t tell her about this agreement!" he added suddenly, while their hands were still connected.
Sawyl\'s expression soured and he looked genuinely upset that this last contingency had been added. He\'d actually been looking forward to telling Mandy that her beloved Kerr had asked him not to sire her, hoping she\'d grow stale on the idea of him faster. Plus, he had no idea what reason he\'d give for refusing her when she inevitably asked why he was rejecting her, if he couldn\'t say, \'Because Kerr asked me to keep you out.\'
"Well... you\'ll have to do something else for me, then," he snapped, his mood changing from the buoyant one of just a moment ago, deflating rapidly.
"Like what?" Kerr asked warily, snatching his hand back. Already, he was beginning to see what it would be like, being beholden to Sawyl like he was. He couldn\'t back out now, though.
Wyl had nothing planned so this took some more thought again. His blue eyes began twinkling the instant he thought of something, though, giving him away to Kerr, even though silence had reigned for at least two minutes prior.
"You can help me with my blood experiments."
"Your what?"
"My blood experiments."
"I heard you, I just don\'t understand what you mean."
"Well, I\'ve developed a theory," Sawyl began, shuffling himself about on Kerr\'s lap once more.
"Oh boy."
"No, now don\'t be like that."
"Like what?"
"Negative. Don\'t be negative - it\'s a good theory."
"Involving blood."
"Yes, involving blood."
Kerr\'s eyes narrowed suspiciously. "This... wouldn\'t happen to have anything to do with that... puddle of... something... that\'s on the verandah near the kitchen, would it?"
Sawyl looked charmingly aloof, suddenly. "Well... perhaps, but I\'m sure it won\'t have the same result on you. In fact, a vampire should be the perfect thing to test it on, because you can\'t die."
"Oh God!"
"No! Calm down! It\'s not that bad, trust me!"
"Trust you?!"
"Don\'t sound so hysterical!"
"What are you planning to do?"
"I\'m trying to learn to manipulate blood, that\'s all!"
"In living creatures?"
"Yes."
"To what effect?"
Sawyl was lost for words momentarily. "Well... because... I want to be able to control people using their blood," he answered stiltedly. He\'d never thought of why, just the how. \'Why\' was rarely high on Wyl\'s list of priorities for anything, frankly.
"So... what do you want me to do?" Kerr asked cautiously.
Once again, Sawyl performed his wriggle-and-settle dance. "Nothing," he instructed perfunctorily and so the adult settled back against the pillows at his back.
Sawyl\'s eyes narrowed as he attempted to clear his thoughts and focus instead on Kerr. His theory was quite simple so far; being able to push blood around inside someone should mean ultimate control of their organ and mental functions. It would be another way of manoeuvring people to his whim. What he\'d done so far only involved small animals, however, and every one of them had been a complete failure. He\'d cornered two rats in the kitchen that had worked reasonably, probably because they were so small and the simplest creatures of all. The cat... hadn\'t been nearly as successful but he was rather hoping it was his technique (which was, of course, still being refined).
What he\'d done with all the animals had been to attempt to toy with their minds, which had been a feat unto itself. Since his brain didn\'t work like theirs, he\'d had no luck, of course, so had resorted to lifting them into the air each time. This had stimulated each animals\' fear impulse, causing their blood to speed up. He\'d tried focussing on the bloodcells as they moved around inside the veins but hadn\'t been able to, so he\'d tried putting pressure on their hearts from the outside - again, it hadn\'t done much except cause them to struggle more. Finally, he\'d compressed veins at the backs of their necks and this had been more successful. Apart from the fact that he could see the flesh being squeezed, he could also observe their struggles changing, becoming weaker as the blood clotted in their brains.
The problem was, he couldn\'t \'see\' into their heads with any sort of rational visualisation, because they were animals. Eventually, they\'d all just died through lack of blood - or their brains drowning in it, he wasn\'t sure (the cat had frustrated him so much that he\'d applied extra telekinetic force, in fact, so that it had more or less exploded with all the blood being held inside it\'s head - not with any sort of Hollywood-style bang, just a sudden and severe tearing open of flesh that evicted a lot of blood from it, in one spurting gush).
He was therefore hoping Kerr might help in that respect, because Sawyl was used to seeing into the human mind and was quite good at pressing the used parts to his advantage (still, his talents were flawed and he made basic mistakes at times, making him realise that he still had many things to learn through the upcoming centuries... also the reason why he\'d not tried any of this on his mothers; Kerr... well, he\'d practically volunteered himself for experimenting). Surely knowing what he was doing there would help him achieve his goal elsewhere?
He began the process by stimulating Kerr\'s fear cortex. He knew where to apply pressure for that, because it was something he\'d done for a long time now. Kerr\'s body was suddenly swamped with adrenalin, causing the blood in his system to travel around at a faster rate. Sawyl attempted to chase it, to \'see\' it, to \'touch\' it... all to no avail. The vampire began to calm down, in fact, causing Sawyl to panic somewhat.
Nothing was any clearer or easier than it had been with the animals. He still had no clue how to manipulate the blood itself directly; without thinking on it too hard, he squeezed off the arteries that were supplying Kerr\'s brain with blood, intent on watching at least the effect of that.
It didn\'t take too long.
Firstly, Kerr winced, frowning and saying Sawyl\'s name questioningly. His brain then began to ache as the child ferreted about, watching the effect he was having, invading spheres in his brain that were oddly engorged with blood. Kerr\'s expression shifted again; he cringed as the ache became sharp, sluicing pain, flaring inside his skull, seeming to bounce from one side to the other with nothing but pain left in its wake, as well as driven before it. Sawyl was playing catch-up by now, trying to hold things closed, trying to \'see\' blood, trying to have some control... he had none.
Finally, Kerr cried out, the pain in his head becoming unbearable - it felt exactly like it had when Sawyl had blasted his mind, except this was a long, torturous blast that had alternate forms and was severely effecting his senses. He bucked against the headboard, still holding his head and yelling again, his agony obvious.
Sawyl released his hold, upset because he didn\'t realise he was simply finding a new way to do something he already knew how to do - overload the brain\'s processes - but knowing that something wasn\'t right. His anxiety manifested itself in anger, his emotions only compounded when a droplet of blood rolled slowly from Kerr\'s right nostril and he was forced to acknowledge that he had absolutely no control over any blood whatsoever. The only thing he could do was what he\'d practised doing for centuries; toy with a mind and dominate that. Thankfully, the blood didn\'t get flicked anywhere in the meantime, because his progeny had stopped thrashing about.
"What the fuck, Wyl?" Kerr demanded thickly, blinking in an effort to clear his vision - it was swimming in and out of focus alarmingly. As per usual, his mind ached in a way it shouldn\'t, considering his undead state.
"Oh, you\'re no good!" Sawyl exploded, flapping his hands huffily and getting up from his position on Kerr\'s legs. "That didn\'t help at all!"
"Fucking tell me about it! What the fuck were you attempting to even do?"
"Just forget about it!" the child declared haughtily, stepping over Kerr\'s legs and smoothly down onto the floor. "I need more practice."
"I\'ll say!"
"Everyone\'s got to learn!" he asserted indignantly.
"Not that, they don\'t!"
"Oh fine. Stay ignorant, then! See if I care! I\'ll see you when you get back!"
And just like that, with a swirl of flying ringlets and a little button nose stuck imperiously in the air, Sawyl spun on his heel and exited the bedroom. If Kerr had been himself, he would have heard his sire\'s door slam just moments later as he retreated into his bedroom to contemplate what had just happened.
Unfortunately, Kerr was far from himself, and this became quite apparent once he attempted to stand up and put his T-shirt on. Things kept... slipping sideways... he was standing perfectly still and falling against the mattress, only just managing to right himself each time. It took three minutes to get each shoe on and once the shirt was over his head, he didn\'t bother with tucking it in; it was enough of an achievement that he got the bloody thing on (he\'d somehow managed to turn it inside out and backwards, so the tag was practically protruding from his throat, but he didn\'t know that).
The next hurdle was getting downstairs. He supposed his business here had concluded - not particularly pleasantly, for him, but it wasn\'t due to Sawyl being aggressive for once, just... stupid and more unskilled than he\'d ever admit to - and he wasn\'t in any condition to farewell the twins, so he headed for the steps. He reached the hallway just outside his bedroom before he fell heavily against the wall, pausing there and checking that he had everything in his pocket while he gathered himself. Keys... mobile... that was all he needed... right? He considered calling Ben to come and pick him up, or call a cab to get him home, but he wasn\'t in that much pain, per se. He just couldn\'t fucking see straight and his equilibrium was... off, somehow. There was also a ringing in his ears that stopped him hearing properly (he was ignorant to the fact that small droplets of blood had leaked out of each ear, as well - he couldn\'t even smell his own blood, at this point) and he felt for all the world like he was swimming along, underwater, but he also didn\'t think it was bad enough that he had to go to drastic measures.
As soon as he sat down in the car, he\'d be right. If he got some blood from the kitchen on the way, that should help him heal back to normalcy more quickly, as well. He had no idea what Sawyl had squeezed inside his head, but it was something central and delicate, for him to be suffering ridiculous after-effects like these. In fact, he should be alright altogether, by the time he got back to the apartment, he\'d just have to take it slow.
Pushing off the wall, he made a side-long dash for the top of the stairs... and completely missed, smacking himself in the shin and groin on the balustrade. The shin flared first but the groin contacting the newel post had more prominent effects and he groaned aloud as he doubled forward, waiting for that very sharp and real pain to subside.
It was going to be a very long trip home, indeed.
