Silence. It was a strange noise, one which met his ears like a deafening roar might have, yet it was the opposite, an oppressive void of nothingness. Kysis paused in the doorway, ears straining for anything. Sound… it was the gate guards behind him, chatting to one another. Slowly he lowered the two saddlepacks he had been carrying, head tilting to the side, sapphire eyes rolling across the unchanged entryway of the manor, towards the closed doors.
He could hear his heart pounding painfully in that silence.
Breaking into a jog, Kysis nearly slammed into the door of the largest bedroom, fumbling with the handle before getting it open. The room was empty. The bed was neatly made, all candles extinguished. All the books were on their shelves, all the sketches rolled up and tied neatly with ribbons, all the ink bottles and quills out of sight. Kysis stared with wide eyes, moving slowly through the shell of a room, making it to the office door, opening it. There was nothing on the desk but a thin layer of dust.
Panicking now, Kysis ran through the office door into the dining room. It looked unused. All the chairs were pushed in, candles along the center runner unlit, brand new. Kysis went into the kitchen, seeing two dishes sitting by the water basin, waiting to be washed. It looked like the morning meal had been taken on those plates, the pot used to make it all hung up to dry near the window. Kysis sighed with relief. They were just out. Perhaps it was best that way.
Kysis went back to the entry, closing the front doors, grabbing up his bags and carrying them to his room. He had to fish for the key for a moment, and then struggled to unlock the door (having to put down one bag to do so). As soon as he was inside, and had closed the door again, Kysis started unpacking, organizing everything into different sections before putting away what he could and gathering around what needed to be laundered. Kysis himself needed to be laundered.
The front door opened, the creek of wheels rising to Kysis’ ears. Wheels? He slowly emerged from his room, going to the near railing of the staircase. Rico was pushing a chair, wheels attached to it, four in all, and Alia was sitting on the chair, wrapped in innumerable layers of cloaks and other cloths. She was shivering, looked paler than he ever remembered. Kysis dropped what he was doing, jogging down the stairs. She smiled wanly as she saw him, probably the most she could do in her weakened state.
“Alia! What—what happened!?”
Rico looked away, a motion that caught Kysis’ attention. He had always been trained to watch for movement, to not let his eyes be drawn to colors, because colors could be deceiving. He saw the pain that flashed across that tanned face, saw it clearly in the blue eyes. Kysis knew Rico well enough to see it. He also knew Rico well enough to know a silent question often went further than the spoken ones.
“I am going to help her to bed.” Rico started pushing Alia’s improvised wheel-chair again, steering it towards her sterilized room. The look in Rico’s eyes was pleading for forgiveness. It had Kysis waiting, glued to the spot he had stopped, waiting with fear in his heart. Alia… How long had this been going on while they were gone? And the winter! The warmth of Kreos’ winter would have been easier on her health, even if living there was stressful. Wasn’t there a win situation for her anywhere?
It was not long before Rico was closing Alia’s door quietly behind him, not looking up at Kysis as he walked subserviently forward. Kysis did not have to ask. “Alia wanted me to hide her illness so you didn’t worry about it in your moment of glory.”
“How could you do that! She looks like she is dy—”
“Shh.” Rico shook his head. It had been Alia’s wishes. That much was obvious, but why? Kysis did not understand. Rico must have noticed. “All the apothecary can do for her is ease the pain until it is over.”
“Until it…. Oh Gods…” Kysis felt sick, pressing the back of his hand to his lips, turning sharply away. He stared with wide, frightened eyes at the table in the entry hall, with its cloth arrangement and vase of delicate glass flowers. Alia had decorated it, picked every piece out herself. “How… much longer… does he think?”
There was hesitance. Kysis could hear it in the silence of the air, flinching as muffled coughs cut into that. Rico could be heard moving away, towards the kitchen, his nice boots clicking across the smooth stone floor. Kysis did not turn his head to look, staring at the glass flowers, so easily broken, having to be taken care of less they crack and chip and collect dust and loose their luster. Like Alia.
“I need to make the tea that apothecary gave us. It will sooth her throat so she coughs less.”
“Thank you.” That made Rico pause, his silhouette hanging in the door to the dining room, which connected to the kitchen. Kysis knew the Retainer wanted clarification. “I know Alia has not said it, but thank you. She… she loves you more than you realize.”
That had Rico disappearing into the kitchen instantly. The comment probably stung, but it was true. Alia absolutely adored Rico, and it was completely unrequited. It was a running theme in the family. Of course, Rico never would have noticed it. At least now, with Rico dotting on her like there was no tomorrow (that phrasing made him cringe), Alia would go happy. That was probably her one real wish: to be loved by someone. That was all the sheltered invalid girl had ever wanted.
When Rico came back through the room with a steaming mug in hand, Kysis finally swiveled, watching Rico go. “Why did you hide it from me, Alia’s wishes aside?”
There was no answer, Rico going into Alia’s room silently, door shutting behind him, locking. He wanted to talk with them, to tell them about his engagement, but it was not the time. No. He had to focus on Alia’s health first, and when the situation was ascertained, he would find a way to broach the subject. It would be wrong to revel in joy when Alia was suffering so…
Why? Why? He was awake, but it was a nightmare. Kysis wanted to run to Alia’s bedside, to comfort her, anything. Please don’t die. There is too much I have to apologize for and… Kysis could not think of it. When Rico had finally settled down, Kysis would go to see Alia. Until then, he was locked out. Kysis ran back up the stairs, to the confines of his room. He unpacked slowly, lingering every so often, drifting off into thought. The thoughts were terrible.
A knock jolted him from his contemplation of gloom and doom. The door opened before he could answer it. That light gait was familiar, the slightly uneven pattern of steps. Kysis finished putting his armor up on its stand, straightening the bronze Liari crests, staring down at them. The Phoenix. What good had that symbol done Alia?
None.
“She is asleep now.”
That was not at all reassuring. There was always a chance Alia would never wake up again, and that scared him. There was so much he would regret if she… but that was a selfish thought. Kysis did not want her to suffer.
“Captain Wilson is not with you?”
“She had things to take care of at her work.” The answer was short, cut off the train of thought Kysis knew Rico was leading to with that. Kysis had to curb that quickly. “I proposed to her.”
“Oh.”
Oh was it? Kysis turned to watch Rico. The young Retainer stood in the open doorway, staring blankly at Kysis as if the words did not register. They would soon enough. Kysis had just flung it out there, so a delayed reaction was expected. “Arna concluded she was a local choice for continuing the Liari line. Marcos gave us his blessing, without an interrogation beforehand.”
“Oh.”
“Do you think Alia will last until Spring?”
It took a few moments of silence for that statement to register, Rico’s eyes now clear with understanding. The Retainer’s lips was trembling, as if he was holding back an onslaught of words, a flood of emotions with it. The quiet remained until Rico finally spoke, voice barely a whisper, meek and defeated. “I hope, for her own sake, that she does not last beyond the week.”
There was more silence, a long pause. Kysis could almost see the gears turning in Rico’s eyes. He looked hurt. He should have been suspecting it. “I can tell her, if you would like, about the Captain. Alia would probably take it better from my mouth rather than yours.”
Kysis nodded in slow agreement. Through everything, Kysis had forgotten that Rico was actually smart. He was raised in the same environment. If Alia heard it from Rico, she would not think Kysis was just abandoning Rico in any way possible. Or perhaps it was another attempt to make Alia happy. To know Rico was being forcibly severed… Either way, it was a good idea. Kysis would let Rico talk to her first, and then discuss it with her after that.
“Alia was angry when she heard about Helen, how she left with the Ottomans.”
It was an awkward conversation at best. That possibility of death was still looming over their heads, resting heavily on their shoulders. That usual tension was still there, keeping Kysis’ jaw tight, strained, keeping Rico staring ahead, at Kysis’ neck rather than into his eyes. “For the fact Helen did not say farewell in person, or because she was going with the Ottomans?”
“The latter. Alia called Helen a traitor and said you were right to run out on that. I think she felt betrayed by Helen.”
“I think we all did.”
The pauses were getting unbearable. Their conversation was on a weird line. Stranger still was their speaking in English. It was the language Kysis preferred, the language Rico did not speak unless it was absolutely necessary. It was a strange grudge, as if Rico hated the language of the land that was taking Kysis away—had already taken Kysis away.
“I already sent message to Kreos about Alia’s condition. She wants to be buried here in Oberon rather than interred in the Liari tomb in Kreos. She likes it here.”
Kysis bit his lip hard, stopping the emotion that threatened to seep out. Not in front of Rico. He had to be restrained, dignified, and not let sorrow get the best of him. For all his life, Kysis had prepared for this day. Even as a young child, he could see it coming. And he was ready. Kysis took a deep breath, blinking his eyes rapidly. He could not show this here or now.
“You must be tired. I’ll go.”
When Rico went out the door and closed it behind him, Kysis let all that grief he had been restraining pour out.
