Home Again, Home Again

[Existentially Odd]

"C\'mere," Kerr breathed, dragging Ben back on top of him with a devious giggle, "there\'s no-one there."
 
They were on the couch in their living room and had finished watching \'Antiques Roadshow\' half an hour before. When the credits began rolling, Ben began wriggling playfully and Kerr was more than happy to mute the television and oblige such wanton moves. They\'d been back from Europe for almost two weeks but the rosey blush of togetherness had yet to fade, despite some potential interference with visits to Arles and from Mandy.
 
Kerr was just settling into a rhythm - both their shirts were off and he was kissing Ben\'s neck as the blonde rubbed himself against his sire languourously - when there was a knock at the door. Ben had pulled away, looking in the object\'s direction questioningly but Kerr, not wanting to be disturbed, had taken the more lazy approach and scanned for another mind. He sensed no-one, hence dragged his lover back to resume kissing him.
 
He swivelled so that they were on their sides and he moved a leg over Ben\'s, his hand roaming lower to cup the growing bulge in his jeans, wedged beneath his, when the door was knocked on again. Kerr pulled back reluctantly, a frown marring his forehead. "What the fuck... ?" he queried, even though it was rhetorical and he didn\'t expect Ben to answer him. "There\'s no-one there!" he exclaimed crankily, upset at having all the good feelings being fostered repeatedly interrupted.
 
Again he searched and again there was no return sensation of anyone at the door. They were obviously being played a joke on, there was likely some kid laughing hysterically at these antics at the other end of the hall, or perhaps the neighbours across the hall were having visitors and whoever it was had been nabbed to enter the correct apartment just before he probed. Twice. Hrmm.
 
Against his better judgment, he gave Ben a heated, desirous look and a quick kiss and then got up to go and prove that there was, indeed, no-one at their door. He half thought, because he was so quick, that he could catch the kid (or whoever it was) in the act this time, and put paid to inconvenient interruptions.
 
This smug thought faded completely from his mind as he got to the door and pulled it open, however, and caught sight of who really was there. His mouth hung slack as words failed him, not greeting their visitor at all appropriately.

[Trillian]

Lazarus was in his best form, his back straight so that way his full height could intimidate, his weight positioned onto his left leg so that his hip could jut out to the side and a little forward in a manner that was rather open and direct. His hands - thumbs in his pockets - were near his crotch, fingers splayed to bring attention to the centre of his jeans at the zipper in a manner that was singular and ideal. He wasn\'t here for his overt sexuality, but it was a part of him and not only couldn\'t be helped, but was embraced and thrust upon others wholeheartedly. The amythest ring on the third finger of his left hand, however, was new - though potentially recognisable to the inhabitants of the apartment whose door he\'d knocked on.
 
There was some emotion in him when the door was opened and he found himself looking at Kerr.  He\'d lost his worshipper and found a powerful enemy in one fell swoop, it seemed like.  He knew there were those vampires who worked hard at their mental abilities, who took the time and trouble to exercise their mind and perform little tricks to the amusement of themselves and others.  He hadn\'t ever been blasted with such powers before and even though he knew he was protected (and here his right hand itched to play with the ring he\'d stolen from Halen), he still felt somewhat insecure.  It wasn\'t a feeling he liked, it sat greasily in his gut.  Instead of giving into it he pressed on, hiding his niggling doubts with a display so bold that there would be no doubt about his state of mind.
 
"Catching flies?" he asked, his hands leaving his jeans in order to push the door further open with one and Kerr aside with the other, though gently, as he made his entrance.
 
When he entered the apartment he was facing Ben and their eyes locked immediately.  All Lazarus could see of the fledgling was from his bare upper torso and his hands squeezing the back of the sofa tensely.  Lazarus imagined the youth was kneeling on a sofa cushion to have the position he did, and he didn\'t miss the mussed hair nor the fact both men were naked from the waist up (unless Ben wasn\'t dressed at all and wouldn\'t that be a fine sight - was that why the fledge wasn\'t moving from behind there?  Lazarus had the sudden urge to round the furniture and see for himself).  The guilty look in Ben\'s eyes was unexpected but certainly appeasing to Lazarus\' mental well-being.  He relished it and it was in his smile.  Now that he knew how Ben felt, he turned to face Kerr.
 
"We must talk. We\'ve been so out of touch, it\'s scandalous," he declared with a snipe hidden not so deeply beneath the surface.  His gaze drifted over the other\'s chest, seeing the tattoo of Ben\'s name for the first time (for it wasn\'t hidden by the door nor his hand) and gritting his teeth over it.  They\'d come together because of him, damnit, they should be fucking thanking him right now.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr was rooted to the spot - to the point, in fact, that when Lazarus pushed against him to get inside the apartment, the only thing that moved and allowed it to happen was the door.  He could only stare at the unwelcome blonde, everything within him clenching immediately and passionately, yet he simply...
couldn\'t
... move.

It was extremely frustrating, to say the least.  His gaze followed Lazarus\' every movement, hating the fact that he looked at Ben and that there was a reaction at all, jealousy flaring hot and sharp in his gut at the two of them brought back together again, after so long, after how he\'d found Ben.  He hated that and he hated his visitor - though it was timid in its wariness, knowing something was different about the Ancient and sensing a danger in that.

He couldn\'t feel Lazarus\' mind, no matter how hard he probed, and that was unnerving.  With his superior age and celerity, the vampire had the ability to smash him into a bloody pulp and do whatever the fuck he wanted to his freshly-made corpse should he wish - not to mention do anything to Ben that he might wish, once he\'d disposed of Kerr.  It caused the Irishman to swallow nervously, knowing he was the man who\'d dropped Lazarus like a ragdoll and left him upon his bed in a state of confusion that had no doubt taken hours to recover from (and a headache that would not have been pleasant).

This was certainly not a guest he would willingly invite into his home and he despised his intrusion with a caution borne of scenting danger on the wind.  Hatred and opposition would be futile, he knew it, but it was instinctive and unable to be repressed within him, especially once the taller man turned his cold gaze upon him.

"I don\'t think it\'s scandalous.  I have nothing to say to you.  We \'mustn\'t\' do anything.  There\'s nothing here for you, just leave," he growled through clenched teeth, stepping swiftly and very deliberately around Lazarus (skirting him, with plenty of room) so that he was positioned between the ancient and his lover.  He didn\'t think Ben would mind him turning his back in his direction, if it stopped him having to see Lazarus (and the thought that his fledgling wouldn\'t really mind seeing the elder was just too painful to bear, wasn\'t it?  Yes, that was to be avoided being brought to the surface at all costs, best to come between them and feel he was doing the right thing).

[Trillian]

Lazarus watched Kerr move, understanding his intentions once he was in place.  Of course Kerr would be protective, especially if Ben shared information with him of what they\'d done and said, though something inside him nagged that the secretive Ben wouldn\'t do such a thing - not that he\'d been secretive with him, oh no, it had all come gushing out of wee Ben like a fountain, because he knew Lazarus wouldn\'t care or judge him.

"Pish, don\'t be like that," Lazarus said with a wry smile, not insulted by the fact Kerr was being the terrible host, for hadn\'t he expected as much?  Especially when it came to the fledge, Lazarus saw - or rather, couldn\'t see because of how Kerr had blocked him from view.  "We do have much to discuss, considering I am the new Luminary, and you\'ve come before the Oligarchy once before."

The statement didn\'t come out as smoothly as Lazarus would have liked but the point was made regardless.  He\'d wanted to drop that bomb nice and early, and here it was, barely a conversation into the piece and he\'d delivered the news.

"Now, won\'t you invite your leader to sit?" he asked, circling Kerr in a predatory fashion and once Ben came into view he couldn\'t help himself, he had to let his gaze roam over the youth\'s naked torso.  Once he was around the sofa enough to see that Ben was wearing shorts he was disappointed, but still believed the view pleasant enough to let his imagination wander a moment before looking back at Kerr.

When he was being watched that way, Ben felt immediately self-conscious but didn\'t let himself act it.  Lazarus had memory to draw on of him in any case, it wasn\'t like he didn\'t know what was underneath his clothes.  There was a gnawing in his belly of regret, of knowing what it was like to be with Lazarus, of letting the Ancient have free range with his body - if only for a single event.  Ben turned around on the sofa, facing forward once Lazarus was standing before the armchair, feeling like the ribbon around the rope in a game of tug\'o\'war.

[Existentially Odd]

Watching Lazarus eye Ben off had Kerr feeling like he was swimming through mud, that everything was happening in slow motion and he was playing catch-up, the ancient\'s words registering out of synch with his actions.  The only thing that mattered to Kerr was the way he was looking at Ben - like he knew him intimately, like he owned him.  he hated it.

Gritting his teeth around the stem of his tongue stud, Kerr glared at the door, forcing it closed with a powerful slam instigated by his mind alone.  His hands had found his hips and he remained glaring in that direction, knowing he was supposed to speak, realising he had a part to play in this fucking ridiculous charade but resenting it too much to comply immediately.  Fuck Lazarus and the fact that he\'d influenced Ben; it hadn\'t made his lover happy, it had only been a distraction from how miserable he\'d been feeling about him, the two of them was what mattered, not Lazarus and what he\'d once been.

After giving himself a pep talk that continued along similar lines, Kerr squared his shoulders and spun to face the two men in the sunken lounge, his face set into an emotionless mask and his actions no longer feeling sluggish.  He would very quickly be left behind if he let Lazarus do all the talking; best to fill the role the Ancient wanted him to, so that the visit would be over that much sooner.

"Ah yes.  So you got your barbs into Halen after all," he declared coolly, stepping over to the lounge to pick up his shirt off the carpet, where it had fallen when it was discarded.  He glanced at Lazarus as he straightened and pulled the olive green object over his head, flicking the ends of his hair out, aware that he\'d dropped Ben\'s shirt on the floor on the other side of the couch and rather hoping his fledgling would bend down and get it from near his feet, to put it on.  No need to encourage Lazarus\' lewd ogling, after all.

"Please, sit," he added belatedly, noticing that Lazarus was still standing in front of the armchair.  Once the Luminary had sat, then Kerr would approach and sit on the couch beside Ben (scooping up his shirt and tossing it to him, if he didn\'t have it on by then), but not a moment sooner.  It felt important that he not walk too close to the ancient while he was standing, for he would have absolutely no hope of defending himself, then.

[Trillian]

Lazarus sank slowly to his chair, his knees weak by the fact Kerr had said what he\'d said about barbs getting into Halen.  Barbs.  Barbituates.  Had Ben told Kerr what he\'d suggested to the Ancient?  Really?  It had been pillowtalk, supposition, hypothetical musing.  His gaze found Ben who at this stage was still without a shirt and staring blankly across from himself, unseeing of what lay before him.

It took Ben a moment to play mental catch-up, once the shirt was thrown at him and he dressed himself hastily, twisting away from Lazarus to do so.  He buttoned to the wrong openings first of all and had to undo three and tug on one side to straighten it before trying again.  Yes, Lazarus was making him nervous, this tiny action was enough to announce it to the pair - if they\'d noticed anything beyond each other, the attention had shifted rather dramatically.

So, Lazarus was the new Luminary.  Ben wondered if it had been what he\'d said in passing to Lazarus as they\'d lain in bed after... afterward.  Ben had been strangely mellow, feeling as though Lazarus\' claim had been right, but the next night things had turned sharply on him and there\'d been instant regret - especially with the blonde pawing at him like he had the right to.

He looked at Lazarus now - stole a peek in fact - and noticed the still way he was sitting, and the look on his face at Kerr.  What had made him this way?  Ben ran over the conversation in his head.  Barbs into Halen, this had been an unusual phrasing from Kerr, was that it?  Ben\'s memory tugged on something that Kerr had told him one night, about barbs, but he couldn\'t catch it and it disappeared.  It looked like he would have to be informed properly at the same time as Lazarus - if not so, then after he left.

"You told him?" Lazarus asked, and Ben thought he\'d been looking at Kerr so didn\'t reply for a moment until he felt an expectant pause.  When he looked at Lazarus, he saw the Ancient was talking to him and he shook his head in alarm.

"Told him what?" he countered, shrugging, unsure what Lazarus meant.  Oh God, was he asking about what Ben had said in bed?  His cheeks would\'ve coloured, except they didn\'t due to his lack of mortality and his state of not being fed full.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr was completely thrown by Lazarus\' reaction, baffled enough by it to go still and look closely from the man he was now sitting beside, to the one to his left.  His Luminary.  What a joke.  Still, why was he accusing Ben of telling him something that had nothing whatsoever to do with him?  Obviously, the ancient was confused and Kerr was defensive enough that he wanted to know the full story - Lazarus\' story.

What could Ben have told him that had to do with Halen dying, for fuck\'s sake?  This was the first they\'d learned of it - well, except for Digital\'s predictions months ago, which Kerr had talked about with Ben, but he\'d never got around to examining all of the predictions with him.  They\'d discussed just the ones that pertained to the two of them - and only then in passing conversation, rather than a dedicated session sitting in front of the laptop and examining it all, as Kerr had planned.

Since the question \'You told him?\' was not directed at him, Kerr sat quietly, looking from one blonde to another with questioning suspicion, waiting for either to elaborate.  Of course, since Ben seemed non-plussed, that would have to come from Lazarus.

"Why shouldn\'t he tell me?" Kerr bluffed, in an attempt to stoke things a little.  "We have no secrets from each other," he bragged proudly, glaring defiantly into Lazarus\' eyes and believing with all his righteous heart that he spoke the entire truth and that he\'d never have cause to regret such words.

[Trillian]

Ben glanced at Kerr with an expression on his face that he knew sat oddly there, for Kerr knew that there were parts of Ben\'s life that he had no idea about - his time with Declan and his time with Lazarus, specifically.  It was a big bluff to play when it was declared to the very man who Ben had been stonewalling Kerr about.  Yes, Kerr knew he\'d slept with Lazarus the once, that he\'d tried to learn to numb his heart and that he\'d been unable to kill.  Other than those generalities, he didn\'t know much else.

Lazarus, fortunately for Ben, hadn\'t noticed this expression and was merely raising his eyebrows at Kerr, catching this tone and not minding the fact that Ben was playing dumb.  Either that or the silly bit of fluff couldn\'t remember.  He didn\'t think the fledgling was that stupid really, he\'d had an inkling for how smart Ben was behind his quiet mask.  Smart in the manipulative sense, and that was why he liked him so much and was dirty that Ben had left him for Kerr as soon as the opportunity had arisen.  Of course that had been bad timing, with another month up his sleeve Kerr would\'ve had a much harder time getting Ben away.  Just bad luck really, that they\'d bumped into him in the alley that night.

"Of course you don\'t," Lazarus said with a smile, then folded his long legs so that the ankle of one rested on the knee of another while he held it in place with a hand.  "But just think, the all-powerful Halen who you couldn\'t come up against, with his army of demonic police, wasn\'t able to stop me from killing him.  The almighty dragon king was felled, and now I sit upon his throne with that army of demons answering to me.  Kind of gives you shivers, doesn\'t it?" he prompted, knowing they wouldn\'t be happy once they understood the full impact of Lazarus\' power.  "And you can\'t blast me anymore, love," he said with a tut-tut to his voice, "so stop looking at me like you\'d like to try," he finished with a smirk.

Dragon king? Ben thought, wondering what Lazarus meant by his choice of words.  There was usually no pun when it came to the blonde, his jokes were crass and direct, so the term dragon king might mean...  Halen was a dragon?  How... sad that he\'d been destroyed, if so.

[Existentially Odd]

As far as Kerr knew, he was merely glowering hatefully at Lazarus - like he resented his intrusion into his home, not like he wanted to inflict bodily harm.  His frown only deepened and he looked the ancient over, noticing the ring and pondering its influence, correctly guessing that it was what had made the Luminary\'s mind invulnerable to him to the point where he couldn\'t even sense him at the door (and also believing that the ring granted the wearer the ability to detect all mental communication to boot, for Halen had always known when he tried to speak to someone in that fucking boardroom with his mind, even if it wasn\'t directed his way).

That ring could hardly be his focus though, with such bold statements being idly made in his presence.

"Are you threatening me?" the Irishman demanded incredulously, finding it hard to believe that Lazarus would take time out of his busy Oligarchy schedule to visit their home and flaunt the power he now wielded - but that was exactly what he seemed to be doing!  "Is that what you\'re here for?  To have me shivering with fear that you\'ll use your demon horde against me, to get me back for blasting you when you hurt Ben?" he demanded, his voice high-pitched and showing his disbelief - plus a healthy amount of scorn for such puerile tactics.

In the face of such power, he likely should have been showing respect and humility, rather than goading condescension but he realised that too late, was too riled by the ancient\'s intrusion on his happy life to think clearly and act swiftly.  He was never so lacking in suave as when he felt threatened on the Ben side of things.

[Trillian]

"Don\'t freak out on me, love," Lazarus laughed, his broad smile remaining on his face as he stared at Kerr without any malice.  Now was not the time for threats, that might have to come later but he was hoping to avoid such things.  "I\'m merely letting you know I was never one to trifle with - you used to worship me. Presently, you may not like me, but you will respect me."  His gaze found Ben, who was looking into space before himself.  "He does," Lazarus indicated.

Ben\'s gaze now found Lazarus and frowned.  Respect?  That was an odd word to describe how he felt about the blonde.  He supposed that respect could\'ve been a part of it, but certainly wasn\'t the main emotion.

"What I\'m here for," Lazarus continued, his stare leaving Ben and finding Kerr, "is to invite you to participate in the ruling of this fair city.  I don\'t wish to dedicate myself to meetings, and there are a lot of vampire-related cases.  As you know, we have only one Oligarch for Vampires, and we need two.  I can\'t get into contact with the one that left, therefore, because I know you\'re such a moral and ethical man, the natural choice is you."  He smiled.  "I\'m sure you\'d love to be on the other side of the table for once."

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr couldn\'t have been more surprised - well, maybe if Lazarus had made a pass at him.  He\'d been tensed for an attack, expecting that the whole reason for this visit was the ancient chastising him for his lack of support and the way he\'d left him months ago... maybe even to draw some sort of line in the sand over Ben and make a play at getting him back.

But this?  This wasn\'t even something that was on the radar and certainly wasn\'t processed quickly.

"What?!" he more or less screeched, his face screwed up as the single, high-pitched word was spat gracelessly into the air between them.  He\'d been contemplating looking at Ben due to that respect comment but now... nothing would pull Kerr\'s gaze away from Lazarus.  He was too busy staring at him, hoping everything he\'d said would begin to make sense.

"You can\'t be serious!  Me?  An Oligarch?  You have to be kidding!" he spluttered, his mouth sliding into auto-pilot since his brain was so reluctant to overcome this shocking news and aid his thought and conversation processes.  "The Oligarchy doesn\'t give a fuck about moral and ethical!"

[Trillian]

"Whyever not?" Lazarus asked, thinking that the offer wasn\'t that farfetched at all.  Surely Kerr would be happy about being allowed to stick his nose in other people\'s affairs?  "You\'re a natural choice.  If you think the Oligarchy doesn\'t care for ethics, then all you have to do is sit upon the council and it will."  Really, his logic was so astounding that even Kerr should be able to follow it.

Ben, in the meantime, was looking down at the carpet threads, studying their loops and swirls while he considered Lazarus\' offer on Kerr\'s behalf.  He could see that it really wasn\'t so bad an idea, considering it afforded protection for the both of them.  What could they do, perhaps, if Declan got it in his head to take Ben away again?  It wasn\'t like Kerr could mindblast him and a whole army of demons.  What could they do, perhaps, if Lazarus got it in his head to force Ben away?  Fucking nothing.  The offer stank of Lazarus\' gameplan however, and Ben didn\'t trust it, but quite frankly the idea of knowing what Lazarus was up to and seeing it with a bit of power beneath Kerr was much better than sitting here and knowing Lazarus could change the city without a sensible mouth at his ear.  Ben\'s gaze lifted and found Kerr, watching him steadily for his reaction.

"You could make decisions," Lazarus went on, "about who deserves to be sired into fledglings and who would be a shitty sire.  I, for one, wouldn\'t allow myself to sire anybody if I had any sense about me, but here I am siring willy nilly and letting them fend for themselves.  Of course, Kerr, you can\'t stop me - being the Luminary - but you\'d have control over those much like me, and save those poor boys from themselves," he said, now gesturing at Ben, though the fledgling didn\'t see it.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr blinked rapidly, frowning and having to drop his gaze from Lazarus, simply because the man was rabbitting on and confusing the situation terribly with his ridiculous words.  Once he did, he felt Ben looking at him and his gaze was drawn in that direction.  There wasn\'t a great deal of emotion or opinion evident in his face but just looking into his beautiful eyes soothed Kerr, and he reached out a hand and placed it on his fledgling\'s thigh, reassuring himself with the contact as he looked back at the Luminary.

"I don\'t think so," the Irishman said firmly, his accent giving the words a gentle lilt that was far removed from the stoney look in his brown eyes.  "I don\'t mind the idea of granting permission if I find the circumstance deserves it, but I\'m not interested in participating in trials and punishing people for decisions made in the heat of the moment, with their hearts rather than their heads - or in ignorance, as happened with me.  Nor am I particularly enervated by the prospect of working with Declan Carey," he added grimly, his mouth pursing disapprovingly as his hand squeezed Ben\'s thigh automatically.

"Honestly, I don\'t know what gives you the idea that my ethics are right for your Oligarchy.  I\'m too righteous for my own good and everything you get up to would likely piss me off to the point where I\'d quit within a week anyway.  Despite your belief that I should, I don\'t respect you, your actions nor your beliefs," he finished coolly, expecting that his words would, at the least, antagonise Lazarus and, at the most, provoke the ancient into attacking him.  As always, he was braced, ready to fling himself in front of Ben should he observe Lazarus gathering for such a thing, his eyes narrowed alertly.

"I\'m not someone you want working for you.  Ask Ben to, if you feel he\'s so respectful."

[Trillian]

At the mention of his name in this, Ben frowned.  He\'d thought such a thing would come from Lazarus, that the blonde would indeed ask him to participate (seeing it was his idea in passing that had seemed to help Lazarus get the better of Halen, and now something he felt guilty over).  He wasn\'t miffed that Lazarus was overlooking him, but he still didn\'t trust the offer.

"Now, now, Kerr," Lazarus began, for he was never one to let silence rule unless he\'d had the last word.  "You\'re being hasty.  Why would you think of working with Declan when you\'ll most likely be rostered on the nights he\'s not?  And if you are going to think about Declan, wouldn\'t it be in your interest to grant yourself the same sort of power he has?  After all, it\'s not like you could stop a member of the Oligarchy from any passing whims they might have concerning you and yours."  Here Lazarus\' eyes flashed dangerously, a threat said almost in passing, so casually that it might\'ve been missed if someone had not been paying attention - though he knew Kerr was paying attention.  "It would be to your benefit to give yourself some kind of ground in a playing field you only just learned the rules to, hmn?  To look after the weak and innocent?" he asked, almost leering as his gaze found Ben - but only minutely - so as to show exactly who his threat was about.

That should rile Kerr up good and proper, and Lazarus looked set to pounce himself, his muscles tense and braced, even in the same pseudo relaxed position.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr blinked one more time, and then he went very still, eyes widening at Lazarus in horror - in fact, his mouth dropped open in disbelief, as he followed that little flick of a glance to Ben and comprehended what was being said.

The motherfucker was threatening Ben.  In the fucking lowest way he\'d ever seen - Kerr could hardly believe it.  It took him a few moments before he could respond, his mouth had gone so dry.

"Why me?" he croaked, seeing that it was coming down to tin tacks.  "What do you gain from having me on your ruling board?"

Fuck telling me what my benefits are, asshole, how the fuck does it benefit you?