Ichabod\'s Curse

[Trillian]

IT HAD BEEN MORE than a month since Ben had grabbed him in the street and drunk from Ichabod while he\'d been on the way home from a small errand.  The other youth didn\'t venture out at night anymore and Ben was having a harder time getting to him.  He\'d failed two weeks later, and hadn\'t had a chance to see him exactly a month after that, but now, six weeks down the track, he\'d arrived soon enough to see Mandy leave the apartment, which meant Ichabod was inside on his own.

Things were working well for Ben and Kerr, they\'d slipped into a routine of study, work and love.  Cuddling and flirting was still mostly the course of the night\'s activities, which usually led to much more.  Ben, who\'d never had a relationship last so long or so well, was happy with the way things were progressing.  This didn\'t mean, however, that he didn\'t desire his alone time, and Kerr knew that he liked his walks.  So walk he did, and bus as well, to the apartment block where Ichabod and Mandy lived, only to arrive in time before she left on her shift.

He stole his way up the stairs to their apartment door, a feeling of expectation and excitement gnawing in his belly.  Had he ever been addicted to anything in his mortal life, he would\'ve recognised the sensation, but then, he should\'ve anyway, for this was how he felt whenever he found a new book, movie or lead about the world of vampires - before he was one, when he\'d so badly wanted them to exist and had thought they didn\'t.  Obsession was a form of mental addiction, though he would never admit such a thing.

He knocked firmly on the door and heard Ichabod walking up to it after a moment, but before he could look through the peep-hole, Ben called out to him.

"It\'s me," he said, wondering if Ichabod would still open the door, and knowing he\'d recognise Ben\'s voice.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod felt like a caged rat, unable to go out at night whenever he wanted, afraid of going into certain areas of town just in case he couldn’t get back before nightfall, and jittery whenever Mandy left the apartment at night, just in case. It had been six weeks, an exhausting six weeks, especially as he hadn’t been able to tell Mandy what was wrong, why he refused to go to the shops alone at night when they needed something, why he locked the door so securely even when she was there. He’d tried to behave as normal, and with work and Mandy there was a lot to distract him, but she wasn’t always there. He knew that after so long maybe Ben would just stop coming, but then again what was six weeks to an immortal?

It had been the best six weeks of his life where releationships were concerned. Like Ben, Ichabod had never been with someone so long, but he still couldn’t help being worried.

He desperately didn’t want to see Ben again, but at the same time Ichabod could feel that craving. He wanted to be fed from, it felt like so long since the last time, he just didn’t want it to be Ben. He had been tempted to go to Risk, but that would have meant going out after dark and he’d known Mandy wouldn’t approve and the last thing Ichabod wanted to do was upset her. He hadn’t been drinking, he hadn’t smoked, he’d done everything she wanted and didn’t regret one moment of it, apart from lying to her.

Ichabod froze in front of the door when he heard Ben’s voice. He had been hesitant about going to it at all. After Mandy went to work he usually just went to bed, he could have ignored the knocking, but Ben had to know he was standing just the other side of the door. He could probably hear his heart pounding. Instinctively the human glanced through the peep-hole, just to see if Ben was alone and then after a couple of seconds Ichabod slowly opened the door a little way, meeting Ben’s silver gaze through his glasses.

“What do you want?” he asked, although he already knew the answer as he tugged at his shirt, feeling uncomfortable under Ben’s penetrating stare. There was always the hope that Ben was just coming to say that he and Kerr were going away on another trip, he‘d just say that and then leave. Yeah, right.

“Mandy’ll be home in a few minutes,” he added quickly, glancing down at the floor as he lied unconvincingly.  He hadn’t bothered changing after work, so he was wearing a pair of dark trousers and a light blue shirt, unbuttoned at the collar and with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows. His feet were bare and at the moment one was lodged behind the door, a move which might have stopped a human from pushing in, but he knew wouldn’t stop Ben from entering if he really wanted to.

He slowly lifted his gaze again as he chewed on his lower lip. His eyes were wide and filled with confusion. He wanted Ben to go away, to stop interrupting his new life, but now he was here and Ichabod knew he wouldn’t go away until he got what he wanted. And when he gazed at the vampire he found himself longing for that bite, for the rush of feelings and emotions that came with it. It wasn’t fair.

[Trillian]

At the question Ben\'s expression changed to something mocking but instead of letting that be his only answer, he spoke.  "You know what I want," he said.  It was funny how he could slip into this menacing persona so easily with Ichabod.  He would never talk to other people the way he talked to this youth, nor would he behave this way around other people, it was just Ichabod that brought this out in him.  Perhaps this was also the reason he wanted to see the mortal, because of how different Ben was around him.  It was certainly one of the reasons, but it wasn\'t the main reason, for this was far too nice a version.

"I\'ll take my chances," he said when told Mandy would return.  He knew this was a lie because he\'d seen her dressed for work.  His left hand lifted and settled against the door, not pushing it in but keeping it there in case Ichabod wanted to shut it.  "Aren\'t you going to invite me in?" he asked steadily, knowing that Ichabod really had no choice in the matter, but they could pretend anyway and be civil with one another.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod’s eyes followed Ben’s hand to the door and he gave a small sigh. Ben wasn’t going away, no matter how much Ichabod wished he would.

“Do I have a choice?” Ichabod muttered, stepping back from the door and folding his arms across his chest as he waited for Ben to enter the apartment so that he could shut the door. It was obvious Ben knew he’d been lying, most people would have, lying wasn’t something Ichabod knew how to do well and it was a miracle he hadn’t blurted out to Mandy that Ben had been doing this.

After closing the door behind Ben Ichabod folded his arms once more and remained by the door, shuffling his feet uncomfortably, hating every second of this. As much as he longed to be fed from he wished it didn’t have to be like this. He could get over that want like he got over his nicotine cravings, but with Ben coming and reminding him every so often it made it so much harder.

“Is there anything I can do to… stop you doing this?” he asked quietly, staring at the ground at Ben’s feet and nudging his glasses a little higher up his nose.

[Trillian]

"I don\'t think you\'d choose differently," Ben said upon entering, moving a good four steps into the room and turning to watch Ichabod shut the door and then fold his arms, closing off his body language.  Ben\'s face was unreadable, he merely stared at the other, expecting more comments about how nasty it was, yet he didn\'t really want to stop it, otherwise he would\'ve told someone - regardless of Ben\'s threats.

"I don\'t believe you want to stop me," he said, the question giving Ben the seamless transition from his thoughts to his words.  He waited to see if Ichabod would argue and if so, he would hold up a finger to stop his words (if such a thing were possible, because it was just an index finger in the air) and frown.  Before Ichabod could say anything - or anything more - Ben spoke again.  "You seemed to not mind so much last time."

[pinkroses]

Ichabod scowled at the floor as Ben didn’t answer his question and then brought up the last time. Ichabod had tried not to think about it, it had been humiliating and he felt like he’d betrayed Mandy even though nothing had happened. But it hadn’t been his fault, it was Ben, he’d wanted to humiliate him and make him feel like shit and Ichabod couldn’t help wondering if the blonde had felt just as guilty when he had gone home to his lover.

“Well I do mind,” he muttered sulkily, finally lifting his eyes to glance into Ben’s silver ones as he leant back against the door, unwilling to voluntarily move closer to the vampire in case his actions were misread, even if it was really just to move past him. Attention from someone he liked was a wonderful thing and if Ben and he had got off to a better start, and if this wasn’t all about tormenting him then Ichabod would have liked it, Mandy or not. He would have enjoyed sneaking around, waiting for Ben to come, enjoying those few moments together, but he knew that Ben just wanted to hurt him and make him feel like a fool, so how could he enjoy it any more than physically when he body responded and Ichabod didn’t want it to? His mind was telling him to get Ben out of there as fast as he could but his body was yearning for the same as before, maybe more, and Ichabod hated that. He was happy with Mandy but Ben was fucking that up.

“I want you to go,” he said, the firmness in his voice punctuated with a slight waver of doubt. He didn’t think Ben would leave just because he asked him to and as Ben knew, there was a part of him that didn’t want him to go. But he felt like he should say it anyway, make it clear in his own mind that he had told Ben he didn’t want this, that he wanted him to leave.

[Trillian]

If Ichabod had said his last request firmly, Ben would\'ve had the waver of doubt, would\'ve suddenly been reminded of how he\'d been with Declan in his forced time with the other vampire.  Only he didn\'t think of or compare himself with his own tormenter because there was a victorious sensation welling in him at the uncertainty in Ichabod\'s words.  Ben had been trying to prove -

what?  what are you trying to prove?
what are you doing!?

"After I drink from you, I\'ll go," Ben replied smoothly, banishing those common questions to the back of his mind.  His motive was unimportant right now - he\'d had a reason for coming here and he would remember it after he left.  Right now he couldn\'t afford to be uncertain or distracted.  He looked steadily at Ichabod, his hands thumbed into the pockets of his jeans, his head tilting lightly before asking: "Where do you want it to happen?"

[pinkroses]

“Do you really give a fuck what I want?” Ichabod said, lifting his eyes to meet Ben’s with a scowl. How could he ask him like that? So casually, as though this was something they’d decided on together, as though if Ichabod decided to put up a fight Ben wouldn’t simply constrain him and do it anyway?

“Why don’t we do it in the bedroom, that way you might feel more comfortable if you get all worked up again,” he added in a sarcastic tone, gesturing towards the door to the bedroom. He wasn’t sure if it was wise to bring that up, but Ben had earlier and maybe if Ichabod could make him feel any sort of guilt about what was happening then he would back off… maybe.  

He wanted to be fed from, he wanted a vampire to pay him attention, but not Ben. Lazarus, Kerr, a complete stranger, any of them would be better than this. But then again it was Ben who was here. Ichabod scowled as his unconscious prodded that fact into his mind. Ben was here, he wanted to feed from him, so did any of the other stuff really matter? Why should he bother arguing with him when he was just going to lose?

Ichabod shrank back against the door, still scowling at Ben. He was never going to win against the blonde. Ben would always come out on top, there was nothing Ichabod could do without risking those around him getting hurt, or himself feeling Ben’s wrath if he told anyone. And as he mulled it over, like last time, Ichabod saw there was no point fighting it. His body wanted it and Ben was going to drink from him whether or not he wanted him to. But he wasn\'t going to give in verbally yet. He didn\'t want to tell Ben that it was alright, that he should just feed from him. He wouldn\'t do that again.

[Trillian]

Ben frowned when Ichabod swore at him and the frown only deepened as Ichabod brought up last time.  Ben was only interested in hearing about last time on his own terms, not for Ichabod to throw it in his face.  It had been planned, but the mortal teen couldn\'t know such a thing.  Ben had intended on having Ichabod respond to him and had unfortunately got personally caught up in things himself - wasn\'t that how it happened?  His motives were starting to get blurry.

The bedroom.  Ichabod had said it to try and pick at Ben but essentially, he was going into the bedroom.  If their positions had been reversed, there would be no way Ben would invite Ichabod into the bedroom.  Was there some kind of subconscious desire for Ben to do more?  Was Ichabod into the whole scene?  Did he want Ben to force himself on him?  He was certainly goading him for it.

"Alright."  He ignored what Ichabod was doing and turned, heading for the bedroom and feeling a little surreal as he did it.  He was wary not to turn around to note the expression on Ichabod\'s face at his acceptance.  He supposed that if he was waiting in the bedroom for half an hour and not be joined by Ichabod he\'d have to leave him alone and return to Kerr.  There was also the possibility that Ichabod would leave the apartment.

He couldn\'t help himself, he had to look back once he reached the doorway of the bedroom.  Pausing there, he held the doorframe lightly and turned his head to see what Ichabod looked like.  He would also do a quick gesture with his head for the mortal to join him, and only when Ichabod got moving would he go into the bedroom.  For now, he simply watched with an expectant air.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod blinked with surprise as Ben took his comment as an actual suggestion and turned towards the bedroom. His hands dropped to his sides and he took half a step forwards before hesitating, completely confused.

“You’re joking, right?” he said warily when Ben glanced back at him, although Ben looked like joking around really wasn’t on his agenda. He slowly followed Ben towards the bedroom without really registering what his legs were doing then stopped again at the doorway where Ben had stopped, gripping at the frame more tightly than Ben had done, feeling like he might fall over if he didn’t have something to hold onto as he watched Ben. His dark eyes slowly drifted around the room; Mandy had made the bed like she always did after sleeping during the day before she went to work, but her pyjamas were screwed up next to her pillow.

Ichabod shut his eyes for a moment as he shook his head and took a step backwards.

“No, not in here. You can feed from me if it’ll make you go, but not in here,” he said in a shaky voice, wanting Ben out of the bedroom, out of his and Mandy’s room. He wanted him out of the flat as well, but there was only one way he was going to be able to get him to do that. Ichabod quickly turned and walked out of the bedroom, making his way to the sofa. He sat down heavily and leant forwards, leaning his head in his hands and running his fingers through his hair. This was so screwed up, all of it. What was Ben was doing to him? He’d actually been tempted to go in there and do it and if he didn’t have Mandy to think about he might actually have done so.  Maybe Ben was using some sort of mind trick on him? As scary as that thought was it was also a little comforting, it laid more of the blame on Ben, rather than his own weakness, but Ichabod had a terrible feeling that although he was being manipulated there was no supernatural power being it.

[Trillian]

No, Ben wasn\'t joking, and as Ichabod moved toward him, he entered the room and got all the way to the bed, where he turned around and waited for the other to join him.

The tone in Ichabod\'s words was unmistakeably the kind that couldn\'t be denied.  Ben would not have Ichabod willing to donate his blood in the bedroom and that was fine with him, but it was interesting the way the mortal had followed him almost all the way in and only paused at the doorway, his expression melting into horror as he realised where exactly they were, and then ran away.

Ben moved after him, watching Ichabod seat himself on the sofa and the defeated way he was positioned.  The young vampire joined him after a moment, seating himself gently on the cushion beside the teen and giving him a moment to sort his head out.

After a short time, as Ben watched and waited for Ichabod to do or say something, he finally broke the silence.

"Offer."

It wasn\'t difficult to know what Ben wanted him to offer, especially from the way he was eyeing Ichabod\'s neck.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod felt Ben sit down beside him, but didn’t move. He felt like a complete bastard for what he’d almost done. Imagine if Mandy ever found out… he could already imagine how hurt she would be if she found out he’d been lying to her all this time. But he had no choice, did he?

He gave a sigh at the short order and lifted his head to glance sideways at Ben, a defeated expression on his face.

“Fine,” he murmured, hating the look in Ben’s eyes. He hated him. But he hated more the way he made him feel, the good and the bad. Sitting up straighter Ichabod un-did a few more button’s on his shirt and pulled it off over his head, telling himself that it was because he didn’t want to get blood on the new(ish) shirt. He turned in his seat after dropping the shirt on the floor, hitching one leg up on the sofa so that he was facing Ben and tilted his head to one side as he nervously ran a hand through his hair.

This won’t be like last time. I won’t let him get to me, he thought with resolve.

“Drink from me,” he said after a moment, knowing it was going to happen whether he said it or not, but Ben had wanted him to offer so there it was.

[Trillian]

Ben watched Ichabod remove his shirt and considered the implications behind such a thing.  Was the other getting more comfortable with him?  More movement as Ichabod positioned himself to be more receptive and then those words.  It hadn\'t been an offer so much as a statement, but it would do, Ben got what he wanted and it hadn\'t been difficult.

He twisted on the sofa, before half getting up and settling again with a knee beneath him, so that he could crawl over the mortal (or rather, between his legs considering the way Ichabod\'s leg was).  Before continuing, Ben took off his own shirt because he didn\'t want to press Ichabod\'s scent onto it.  He tossed it onto the floor as well, uncaring where it landed or how - very unlike his usual tidy self.  With a confidant hand Ben shifted Ichabod\'s leg by the ankle firmly against the back of the sofa before moving up and over him, while his hand drifted up to Ichabod\'s knee.  He tried not to think how erotic such a thing was because he genuinely didn\'t want Ichabod that way but still couldn\'t help liking the way things were going.  He was a vampire and he was acting like one.  What else did Ichabod expect or want?

He moved over the mortal teen until he was hovering over him and lowered himself so that his bare chest pressed against the one beneath him, his hand had slid over Ichabod\'s knee by now and was resting on his hip, the other arm support on the final cushion that also supported Ichabod\'s head and shoulders because of the way he\'d been forced to lie back on the sofa by Ben\'s approach.  His lips went to Ichabod\'s neck and he took a moment to feel the pulse, getting excited at the thundering wash of blood that lay just beneath the surface.  Ichabod\'s scent was now very familiar and as Ben stopped holding himself up he found himself lying upon Ichabod, the chair arm just brushing the top of the other\'s head.

He dragged his regular teeth across the smooth skin before moving his lips with pseudo kisses, finding the strongest point of the pulse and then nipping gently on it before shifting the angle and touching his fangs to it, murmuring a warning that didn\'t sound like a warning but more like a soft moan and then bit in.  He was good at it now, he thought, those he drank from weren\'t uncomfortable with it in the slightest - just a small drawn tense breath and they relaxed.  He hoped Ichabod would be the same.  Once the blood started seeping out, he suckled on it and lost himself in it, forgetting everything that mattered or didn\'t matter, and once again rubbing against his donor - it was hard not to when laying atop him.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod’s eyes followed Ben’s shirt to the floor before drifting back up to glance at the vampire’s pale body. He hadn’t seen Ben like this before and although he didn’t want to see him this way now he couldn’t help but look. Like all vampire’s Ben’s torso was toned and beautiful but Ichabod quickly glanced away again. He really didn’t want to be thinking about that when Ben began to drink from him. As Ben moved over him Ichabod couldn’t help but lean back away from him, shuffling himself into a more comfortable position despite his head yelling at him to make this as difficult as possible for Ben. It was easier just to comply. He’d tried to find a way to stop this but other than telling people there was nothing he could do. His eyes flickered downwards as Ben leant over him and he felt the vampire’s hand drifting up his leg and his cool skin pressing down on his body.

He knew there was nothing behind the gentle kisses on his throat but that didn’t stop them from sending a shiver through his body at the soft touches mingled with the rougher scraping teeth. Not knowing what else to do with his hands Ichabod settled one on Ben’s shoulder and the other on his lower back, trying hard to ignore the firm muscles under the skin. He took a sharp breath and his body tensed when he felt Ben’s teeth finally sinking into his throat, but then he quickly relaxed back against the cushions, giving a quiet moan of pleasure as the sensations that came with being fed from ran through his body.

Ichabod’s fingers absently drifted over Ben’s back, pausing when they felt the scars than decorated him, but then gently beginning to trace the lines with a dazed curiosity. His hand quickly moved to Ben’s hip when he felt the young vampire begin to rub against him though and he made a small noise of protest as he pushed at Ben’s hips as his own wriggled under him, unintentionally pressing harder against the rubbing.

“You shouldn’t…” he murmured, but his complaint lost itself in his mind as his hand relaxed again. Right now none of it seemed to matter so why should he bother fighting it?

[Trillian]

Ben was still young enough to keep his tan for he hadn\'t had years to lose it and he\'d already had blood before going out to keep the edge off (but as a fledgling he was always thirsting, there was always a gnawing in his belly and a desire to slake his thirst even moments after drinking), which kept his pallour mostly healthy looking - though it would continuously be his eyes that gave away his supernatural existance.  He wasn\'t as cool as he could\'ve been but had got into the habit of always wearing inappropriately thin clothing in order to explain away his icyness in case anybody brushed past him in the street.  He was self-conscious about such things, and he wasn\'t as cold or hard as ancient bodies, or even as his sire.  Mortality had not lost its colour on him, making him either more or less appealing to the eye of those who worshipped his kind.  Right now he was pleased with his life-like look, knowing it would fade as decades and centuries passed.

Shouldn\'t, wouldn\'t, couldn\'t, whatever, it barely registered in Ben\'s ears as a complaint because Ichabod was responsive no matter what his mouth said.  He wondered when it would happen that Ichabod would come to him, to crave what he got from Ben, desiring the interaction even though there was something vital missing in it.  It wasn\'t like he missed love or anything, because he missed Lazarus, and there was no way the blonde Ancient had ever loved anyone - except himself.

So he drank and he rubbed - or ground himself against Ichabod, to be exact - his hand holding firm on the other\'s hip, aware of the touches on his scars.  Once again he took no more from the teen than would leave him a little light-headed, certainly not to a point of danger or even discomfort.  He closed the wound by slitting open his top lip and while it healed he let his blood heal Ichabod.  He tested the punctures with his tongue until the skin was smooth and unbroken, then lay still for a moment before whispering: "Does it feel good?"