Consequences

[Trillian]

continued from Obsession and Aggression
 
BEN FOUND HIMSELF now waiting between two demons in demon form once he and Ichabod had been hauled out of the 4WD and practically dragged across the foyer to the elevators. Both demons had shed their human transformation and breathed a sigh when it was dropped, like it was a relief of aching muscles. The elevator had bonged almost instantly when the down button was depressed and he shot Ichabod a glance before he was pushed in. Ichabod was brought in next and Ben badly wanted to say something to him but had no idea what. He rode the lift in silence.
 
In the waiting room, which was mostly empty, another demon joined them in order to wait on Ben\'s other side, with only one keeping an eye on Ichabod. Again, they suspected he might cause trouble, though he\'d been quietly following along with everything they did all the way through. How was he supposed to fight the Oligarchy?
 
How long had they known? Oh God, had it been Kerr that had called for them to be collected? Had he been deceiving Ben in kind?
 
When a person scuttled out of the meeting room Ben had already been in, first they hauled Ichabod in there, and then Ben was ushered in, both teens - one mortal, one not - now standing to face the council, looking lost and afraid, and before them, in a chair slightly off centre, was Kerr.  A folder was placed in front of him by one of the demons, likely containing the charges they faced.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr was frowning down at the paperwork before him on the desk, scribbling notes.  Even though the next case had already replaced the last - and the new case\'s information sat beside the sheet of paper he was currently writing on - he still hadn\'t finished noting all his feelings about the nuances of the previous vampire siring the mortal he\'d come there to request become his fledgling.

He was very surprised, therefore, when he finished what he was writing and looked up.   He frowned, doing a double take as he glanced down then back again, noting the presence of his lovers in a detached and offhanded way, not completely processing the presence of the demons hemming them in (possibly because, on some deeper level, he didn\'t want to).

"What... ? Ben?  Ichabod?  What are you two doing here?" he asked, in the manner of a very busy parent being interrupted at work by two brawling children that needed an adult to settle their petty argument.  He spoke calmly and briskly, looking from one to the other before he picked up the new file and moved it on top of the last one, opening the folder and seeing their names written upon the official document inside.  The crime report.

Kerr\'s dead heart would have skipped a beat if it could, but he simply froze instead, staring at the incriminating page, hardly able to believe what he was reading... not daring to go beyond the first few lines.  He did not manage to look up, not even when a voice registered dimly as coming at him from across the room, nor did he move as he tried to piece together what was being said with what he knew had to be the truth.  His graceful hands were suspended, holding the cover of the folder and resting upon the paper, like a pianist needing to check his sheet music before he played.

[pinkroses]

Whilst Ichabod had been in the car he had fidgeted nervously, trying not to worry too much about what was going to happen to them. Surely it couldn’t be that bad, this was all just a misunderstanding, he’d done nothing wrong. Right? He would have moved out of the car into the building by himself when told to, but wasn’t given the chance as he and Ben were pulled into the building and then Ichabod had almost had a heart attack. The two men, who he’d thought there had been something different about because of the way Ben had acted towards them, suddenly turned into huge… monsters in front of his eyes. He’d briefly seen winged people the last time he’d been here with Lazarus, but that night had felt like a dream, this was all too real.

Wordlessly and with a look of complete shock on his face Ichabod was shoved into the lift behind Ben and Ichabod immediately shut his eyes, leaning back against the wall. He was in an elevator, with these massive creatures, on his way to a supernatural court. None of that fitted right in his head. As they reached the correct level Ichabod’s eyes half opened when they were taken from the confined room and he tried his best not to look at the demons, or Ben.

Being pushed into the meeting room first gave Ichabod another jolt of panic and he finally glanced back at Ben, a frantic look in his eyes. He didn’t want to go in there alone and despite everything Ben had done to him he was the closest Ichabod had to having someone on his side right now so he felt a tiny amount of relief when he saw that Ben was being pushed into the room at the same time.

That relief disappeared when his dark eyes fell on Kerr though. His mouth fell open slightly and he glanced across at Ben again, a frown of confusion on his worried face. Had Ben known Kerr would be here? He couldn’t imagine a much worse way of finding out someone had betrayed you than having them put in court before you. Then a sinking feeling entered the pit of his stomach.

Kerr would take Ben’s side. Somehow Ben would manage to spin this so that it was all the human’s fault, Ichabod knew it. And Kerr would accept that, he would believe Ben like he did every time. At the question Ichabod opened and shut his mouth silently a couple of times, then let it stay shut. That was a question that hardly needed answering once Kerr had looked down at the paper in front of him. Despite the temptation Ichabod avoided looking across at Ben again, or gazing around the rest of the room. He didn’t want to see any other strange creatures to freak him out any more so kept his eyes fixed on Kerr as his fingers twisted into an anxious knot in front of him.

[Trillian]

Ben opened his mouth to speak when the demons overrode him and spoke in his stead.
 
"Benjamen Samson faces charges on acquiring and keeping an unregistered pet, Ichabod Connors."  The demon announced in an impossibly deep and rumbling voice.
 
Ben glanced at the demon and now that he was before Kerr and the worst had happened, he began to believe that it wasn\'t the end of the world, he could explain, he could make Kerr understand that it was all just innocent and he could say sorry for keeping it a secret, that he didn\'t think Kerr would understand and now he saw he\'d been wrong to do that.  He honestly felt this way, that it had been something that had started with a completely different intention (and this was true, he\'d only meant to menace Ichabod the once, not to keep returning) and it had evolved into... this.
 
"I\'ve been drinking from him," Ben admitted and wondered how many times he\'d been followed for him to be hauled in front of Kerr like this.  Twice?  Three times?  All of them?  He\'d gone to Ichabod half a dozen times, hadn\'t he?  Surely they hadn\'t known about all of them?  He opened his mouth to say more but shut it again lest he dig himself a deeper hole.  He would wait for Kerr to say something more to him.  The silence extended so long that he was finally compelled to add: "He\'s not my pet."
 
Much like in his mortal years, Ben hadn\'t been Kerr\'s pet but he\'d been punished for that by being carted off to live with Declan and be his pet in reality.  A harsh judgement, certainly.

[Existentially Odd]

Read, just read
... can\'t

Kerr looked at the page before him until the words began to blur into nonsense and still... he couldn\'t look up.  There were irrefutable details set before him - dates, times, places that were familiar and fitted, as far as his memory served - but still he wished it weren\'t so.  Ben admitting that he\'d been feeding from Ichabod was enough to support the evidence he was reading, yet... he wanted to deny it.  There was something terribly wrong about this whole situation.

Eventually, he had no other choice but to look up, his gaze going straight to Ben.  Emotions overwhelmed him and all he could do was clamp down on them all, quell the flood of questions and doubts and defenses until he knew more.  He looked at the man across the room from him as calmly as he was able, despite the chaos that was threatening to erupt from him, should his resolve on holding the doors closed against it falter.  The fear and the sense of being out of control was like a living thing, battering within his chest, and he wanted nothing more than to make it stop... but that wasn\'t going to happen easily (if at all).

The thing was, he knew he couldn\'t question his lover openly, for it had become apparent to him during his staring that he was in a rather delicate situation here.  He was the presiding Oligarch over a case that, should he prosecute it objectively, would see a punishment bestowed that he didn\'t want to give.  These were two men who were very important to him, and he couldn\'t be objective because he was... they were... and, suddenly, he knew that that would be exactly the way that he would let the two of them free, without having to pull any strings or play favourites.

He would have to tell a little lie.  Well, not a lie per se, but he would have to be very convincing when he presented the facts, so that what wasn\'t said slipped beyond the notice of the demons who\'d brought the case before him.  He wasn\'t sure his acting skills would be up to the task but, considering his still-tenuous position in the Oligarchy, he would have to try.  He wondered if Lazarus had manufactured this case simply to test him, although... there was Ben.

Ben was looking at him with an unusual expression; somewhat resigned, slightly fearful but relatively calm.  Kerr found that reassuring.  Glancing across at Ichabod, however, he was not reassured and the entire fact of them being brought here together, of having met up at least five times (because all that was written on the sheet before him) for the intimate act of feeding... when their history was considered?  It didn\'t seem right and his gut told him that feeling better by looking at Ben wasn\'t coming from a place of logic or common sense, it was straight from his desperate, blind heart.

Something in Kerr snapped in that moment and he looked away from Ichabod, back at Ben, deciding he needed to know the truth.  All of it.  And he couldn\'t very well ask openly, so he did what he did best, he took.

Kerr\'s mind cut through Ben\'s defenses like a hot knife through butter.  He didn\'t use this skill all the time because he was well mannered and respected people\'s privacy, but that didn\'t mean he wasn\'t very skilled at it.  He\'d let Ben evade him with the details of his life, of his time with Declan and Lazarus, allowed him his privacy when he went off to hunt on his own.  All that would be ruined now, he was aware of that, and part of him was ashamed of himself.  The rest of him was relieved and, when he started to dig, it was entirely vindicated, too.

Beg me!Tell meYou slutoh God, he knowsI\'m so sorryBeg me to fuck you

The first few moments were a deluge of information that had his heart dropping through his belly and just about leaving his body through his feet.  The only external reaction he gave was a slightly more glazed look in his eye and a clenched jaw, but internally... he was reeling.  The documentation hadn\'t warned him of the intimacy of Ben and Ichabod\'s relationship but he watched it unfold in reverse order, seeing that the two of them had got progressively more adventurous until tonight when Ichabod had... Ben had...

Like a freight train had hit him and thrown him off a cliff, Kerr felt the impact of what he saw all the way through him.  He wanted to cry, to howl, to hit and hurt, but his clamps were, thankfully, still intact.  His hands clenched and his pen snapped but that was the only new thing he did.  He was too busy pushing onward and deeper, deciding that he was in for a penny, so he might as well be in for a pound as well.

He continued to search.  Of course, he was so emotionally ragged by this stage, that he took it all in but nothing really registered properly.  He would be able to go through it at a later stage, to examine every one of Ben\'s experiences at his leisure, that wasn\'t a problem.  What was a problem was that with his erratic concentration, he wasn\'t able to hide what he was doing from Ben.  His fledgling would certainly know that his thoughts and memories were being unceremoniously rifled through, for they would flash through his consciousness at lightning speed, the emotions of those moments recalled and released in a flash, likely leaving the blonde in much the same wild state as his sire was in.

It was over in about five minutes and Kerr didn\'t quite know what to do with any of it, so he did the best thing he could do; he went with his original plan.  Rounding on the demon that was listed as the case leader, he snarled a demand of him that was completely uncharacteristic and, in comparison to all the silence that had previously been filling the room, sudden and shocking.

"Are you a complete idiot?"

[Trillian]

Ben expected some questions, had even prepared himself for the truthful answering of them, would even tell him of how things had progressed, but he would start at the start, build up to it, prepare Kerr for it in his telling and apologise for it, likely paying for such a thing with initial mistrust and unforgiveness until Kerr was ready to forgive and see that things had got out of hand, but it had been progressive and unintended. Ichabod brought out the worst in him and he would stay away from the human from now on, that was for sure, and with Kerr\'s help...
 
It was now that he blinked and shook his head lightly, his thoughts evaporating with the sudden consciousness of all the things he\'d done and the backward progression as though looking in historical retrospect. There was a sense of another\'s emotions and thoughts surfacing over his own and he understood exactly what was happening.
 
No, please, no, let me ... tell you in my own words ... let me redeem myself with truth ... don\'t take that chance from me ... I won\'t be able to ... offer anything in apology ... except my regret
 
Each pause was interrupted by another flash of his own memory and as Kerr\'s heart sank, so did his own. His hand stole to his face, covering half of it in a variation of the old way Ben had when ashamed or embarrassed. He couldn\'t stop it, he couldn\'t fight it or push Kerr out, he was helpless to the stronger mental prowess of his sire.
 
It was over quickly yet seemed to last forever and he felt drained at the end of it all, isolated and numb, now no longer of the belief that everything might be okay. When Kerr shouted at the demon Ben visibly flinched, quiet and subdued after mentally fighting off Kerr with all the success of a fly fighting off a flyswat.
 
The demon Kerr was addressing, in the meantime, was smirking at the two youths in the centre of the room, thinking they were the ones being yelled at. It took him a moment to realise the question had been cast his way and as he faced the angry countenance of the newest Oligarch, he faltered.
 
"Uh... what?" he asked, looking to his demon kindred to support him but they melted away, letting their leader face the music.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod’s scared eyes met Kerr’s briefly when he felt the vampire’s piercing gaze settle on him, before he glanced down at the ground. He felt like he should say something but was terrified he would just make everything worse. When silence reigned for longer than he expected it to Ichabod looked up again, glancing between Ben and Kerr. There was something going on, that was obvious to see, especially when the silence between the two dragged on as the minutes passed.

Anxiously Ichabod lifted his hand to rub at his neck where Ben had fed from him all those time, out of nervous habit, flinching when he heard the snap of a pen cracking. He knew Kerr’s mental powers were good, he’d experienced that the first time he’d met him, and it made him nervous to think that the two of them were communicating without him being able to hear and defend himself. Who knew what Ben might be telling him? But from the way Ben slowly seemed to deflate maybe it wasn’t quite like he thought. Or maybe Kerr was angrier than Ben had thought he would be.

His eyes had been fixed on Ben, so when he suddenly heard Kerr’s voice he thought that the question was directed at the vampire he had just been staring at. Ichabod’s eyes flickered towards Kerr, then with widening surprise, towards the demon he was reprimanding. His eyes quickly turned back to Kerr though as he reminded himself that staring at those things was not the best way to stop himself from panicking. He didn’t have a clue what was going on, why they were being charged really or what would happen to them and he was still scared, especially by Kerr’s unexpected response.

[Existentially Odd]

"I said, are you a complete idiot?" Kerr seethed, funnelling all his anxiety and despair into his words and directing them at someone that didn\'t deserve it, because he couldn\'t hold everything in and stay sane.  Besides, it would lend credence to his act.

The demon, having seen his compatriots retreat and sensing that something was awry here, glared back at the Oligarch who was yelling at him (at him!) from across the room.  "No," he snarled, lowering his chin so that he was looking up at Kerr in a rather menacing way.  "What makes you say that?"

"Because," the Oligarch sneered, picking up the crime report sheet as a prop and pretending to peruse it - with more attitude than a drag queen getting a ticket from the fashion police - before slamming it back down on the table again, "I see times and dates on this page, but I see no actual evidence as to why you think Ben has an unregistered pet."

"I saw them consorting," the demon growled stubbornly, "and I got the vampire\'s name.  I looked him up in the database and he didn\'t have a pet registered to him."  The note in the supernatural\'s guttural voice was almost triumphant and his chin lifted once more, declaring that he was confident and proud of the work he\'d done.

Kerr reacted gregariously, rolling his eyes and flinging himself back in his chair, throwing up his hands.  "Well!  That explains it!"  he told the ceiling.

"Explains what?" the demon asked warily, beginning to sense that things might not be about to go entirely his way.

Kerr sat forward again, staring levelly at the hideous beast beside his lovers as he piously folded his hands together on the table before him.  He looked very dignified in this pose, despite the fact that he\'d just about been shouting the room down with his excessive reactions (all the better to come to this very calm presentation, of course) a moment beforehand.  "You only checked the system?"

"Correct."

"You didn\'t pull their files?"

"Files?  They don\'t... they have files?" the demon asked quietly.

"Yes."

"Oh."

"In fact," Kerr continued with mocking enthusiasm, "had you bothered to do a search for files and read them, you would have found - much to your surprise, no doubt - that Ben is my...

boyfriend
partner
lover
love

fledgling," he said, a flicker of the pain he was holding tight within himself passing through his eyes as he hesitated over those words, needing to find the right one.  Once it was past though, he continued quite smoothly.  "And you would also find out that Ichabod is not only the first man Ben ever drank from, but also my registered pet."

The demon\'s eyes widened deep within his skull as he saw the point the Oligarch was making.  His jaw was gnashing slightly but he didn\'t speak.

"You might, therefore, conclude that I have given my fledgling permission to feed from my pet, wouldn\'t you?" Kerr demanded, his voice returning to its former loudness.  He was also glaring domineeringly at the demon beside the teenagers in question, willing that this story be accepted with everything in him.  It wasn\'t a lie.  The demon should conclude that Ben had permission to consort with Ichabod, when faced with these facts... the fact that it had never formerly been uttered was the small detail that had Kerr worrying terribly.  If he was questioned, he would lie outright about it, but he was hoping beyond all hope that he wouldn\'t be and his attitude was exactly what he was banking on to bring him the win.

As it turned out, he needn\'t have worried nearly as much.  The demon believed everything he was told and he was not one who would flog a dead horse, nor would he argue with reason - and he could plainly see that the shortfall in this case had been his.  He should\'ve done more research once he had the names; he should\'ve looked for files.  It was no wonder the Oligarch had been so irate, in hindsight.

After a few moments of silence, in which the demon glanced at the men beside him, picking up a great many of the mortal\'s emotions, being so close to him (which only reinforced that the story was the truth, rather than being a surprise), he inclined his head apologetically in Kerr\'s direction.  "My apologies.  It will not happen again and I\'m sorry to have wasted your time."

Kerr gave a snort, rocking back in his seat again, as if he hadn\'t a care in the world.  Really, it was relief that had him sagging so.  "See that it doesn\'t," he announced sternly, flicking a hand in the room\'s general direction.  "This case is dismissed."

"What would you have me do with the boys?" the demon asked, feeling awkward since he\'d brought people with a very intimate relationship before the Oligarch.  He knew for a fact that he shouldn\'t be treating them like the criminals he\'d believed them to be just twenty minutes ago.

At this point, Kerr just about came undone, for it made sense that he should talk to Ben or Ichabod and possibly converse with them.  But he was completely incapable of doing that.  The best he did was a glance at his blonde lover, but that sent a torrent of emotions so strong and thick through him, that he flinched minutely and had to look immediately back at the demon.  "Take them out of the building and let them go," he said in exasperation.  "I\'ll see them later."

Of course, that point just sent a spear through his heart and released an aviary of butterflies in his abdomen, so he did his best not to pursue it.  He sat up in his seat and began to tidy the papers before him, as if he were a very busy man that didn\'t have time to be interrupted right now (rather than one who had no clue how he was going to get up and walk away from his chair, let alone face Ben and discuss with him what he now knew the blonde had been doing with Ichabod).  He listened intently for the occupants of the room to leave, so that he could crawl away into some private place - perhaps a closet - and try to come to terms with the fact that his love had been entirely betrayed and he felt like his soul had just been excavated from his chest with an apple corer and some sandpaper.

[Trillian]

"Kerr..." Ben began, not wanting to end this conversation right now, but the burly demon was intent on following the Oligarchy\'s orders to the letter, in order to redeem himself.
 
"He\'ll talk to you later, he said.  The Oligarch is very busy," he explained, now using a tone not quite so hostile as one used expressly to tell a child that their parent is in the middle of a job.  The demon bundled both Ben and Ichabod out into the waiting room, not quite ready to apologise to them until they got to the elevator and he pressed the \'up\' button.
 
"I\'m just doing my job, okay?"
 
Ben knew things were likely not over but he was glad that Kerr had stuck up for him.  He\'d probably face the heat for this in the apartment when Kerr got home from work and until then he would patiently wait.  Somehow, once again, he\'d returned to his former idea that things weren\'t going to be so bad.  He\'d explain, he\'d be forgiven (in time) and things would sort themselves out.  Kerr was dependable, loyal and his love.  No more secrets, he told himself, promising himself and trying to send this thought to Kerr.
 
No more secrets
 
Though he wasn\'t sure his sire and lover had heard.

[pinkroses]

Although still terrified of what was going to happen Ichabod felt a small wave of relief as Kerr spoke, sticking up for them despite everything and explaining away their actions in an attempt to get them out of trouble even though it had been clear that the vampire was angry and no doubt that would be directed in their direction at some point. Despite the temptation to glance up at the demon beside him Ichabod kept his eyes on Kerr, relieved for the first time that Lazarus had done what he had and given him over to Kerr, despite how angry and upset he had been about it at first.

He barely noticed that they had been dismissed until he was unceremoniously guided towards the door of the room and back to the elevator. Didn’t this place have any stairs? It was probably better to get out of here quickly though, Ichabod knew he would probably give something away if he was forced to stay much longer. He already wanted to blurt out a load of questions to Ben, including what exactly had happened in that longer silence, but he stayed quiet, lowering his eyes to the ground. He ignored the demon’s comment; what exactly was he supposed to say in response? Tell him not to worry about it? He’d be able to fix his door no problem? It was all forgotten?

Once they were put out on the street in front of the large building Ichabod finally glanced back towards Ben, shoving his hands into his jeans pockets and shivering a little in the cool night air. He wanted to grab a taxi but had no money on him, but he quickly decided the walk would be better. He needed to save money to get the lock on the door fixed and try to decide how to explain all of this to Mandy. He couldn’t keep it from her any longer and now that Kerr knew Ben’s threats would hopefully stop. He shuffled his feet for a moment before stepping in the direction he thought it home was in.

“It’s over now, right?” he asked quietly, glancing back at Ben once more. “You won’t come again?” He doubted Ben would, now Kerr knew he surely wouldn’t do anything else to risk his sire’s anger. But he just wanted to check, to know that he didn’t need to be worried whenever he went out after dark or when Mandy was working the night shift.

[Trillian]

Ben was quiet in the elevator and didn\'t look at Ichabod until the mortal spoke to him, and it had been once they were out anyway. He opened his mouth to confirm the first question and then frowned when Ichabod asked his second question, which answered in the negative. So how was he supposed to answer now, with the same question phrased different ways. He decided to opt for answering the second one, because it was hovering between them.
 
"No."
 
"You want a lift?" the demon asked, eyeing the pair of them. Ben shook his head and said no again. He would walk. The apartment wasn\'t that far away and he needed time to think. Ichabod was a long way from his home but Ben didn\'t think he\'d accept the ride either, if only because the big burly human guy was a demon underneath that transformation (once they\'d stepped outside he\'d morphed again).
 
He turned his back on them and started down the familiar city streets towards home, a knot forming in his stomach despite his positive outlook about being forgiven.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod gave a small nod at Ben’s answer, glancing down at the floor again. He wasn’t sure if the feeling in the pit of his stomach was relief or disappointment. There would be no more secrets, no more worrying about whether Ben was going to turn up, no more stressing out about cheating on Mandy… but no more being drunk from either. Ichabod knew he couldn’t go to Risk after letting Mandy know how he felt about her meeting up with random vampires and he didn’t want to go and just be fed from by a stranger. Ben had been scary but at least Ichabod had never felt like he would really be hurt until tonight.

He glanced up warily at the creature who had turned back into a human and shook his head firmly.

“No, thank you,” he said, the nerves evident in his voice at the idea of being shut in a car with a person who could turn into… God knows what. “I’ll just… uh… walk,” he said, glancing around, trying to find something that looked familiar. Taking a deep breath Ichabod set off across the street, shooting a look back at Ben as he went, out of habit. It didn’t feel like it was over, but as he looked back at where he was going Ichabod guessed it would be sometime before he saw the blonde again. Hopefully Kerr wouldn’t turn up at some point to vent his anger on the human either.