A Final Affair

[Trillian]

The phone began to ring very early at the start of the night, as soon as the sun set in fact, as though whoever was calling was eager to catch the sleeping occupants as soon as they woke up.
 
On the other end, Jenna listened to the phone ring.  Her expression was one of sad resolution.  She was determined to make this conversation go as smoothly as possible, though she tried her best not to plan each word.  Spontaneity was better, and a great deal more genuine.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr was awake, simply laying in bed and watching Ben sleep, amazed and terrified by the decisions he\'d finally made. The end of their first evening together as a couple once more had gone quietly, with a lot of cuddling but nothing else - the memory of Ash being there with Ben earlier in the night deterred them both, he thought.
 
He frowned when the phone rang, rolling over to pick up the handset off the cradle on his bedside drawers after a few moments. His desire not to disturb Ben had won out over his thinking about who could be on the other end. "Hello? Kerr speaking," he said when he\'d brought the receiver to his ear, clearing his throat again because, to his own ears, his voice still sounded thick with sleep.

[Trillian]

His voice gave her pause, bringing the emotions swelling back into her chest and forcing her to close her eyes for a moment.  The phone was a good shield, however, and she could be straight-forward with him.
 
"Hello, Kerr.  It\'s Jenna."  She paused for just a moment before plunging ahead, not wanting him to interrupt her before she got her first portion of words out.  "I told you to call me if you came to a decision, but I\'ve actually come to a decision of my own."
 
She waited then, even though there was very little for him to say to that.  She figured he\'d probably guess what was coming, but it didn\'t matter.  As a true gentleman, he would hear her out instead of cutting her off - which was why she was making this call.

[Existentially Odd]

He thought of telling her he was going to call, that he had made a decision, but knew that would seem petty.  Like he was trying to trump her - and he definitely wasn\'t.
 
"Okay," he said slowly, letting her know that he was thinking very seriously about what she was saying - and would say.  "Tell me."

[Trillian]

She was pleased that he was responding with gravity.  It was the kind of thing she\'d expected to hear, and so it was easier for her to continue.  Surprise wasn\'t going to be her friend during this phone call.
 
"I told you at the beginning I didn\'t involve myself in relationships that weren\'t potentially long term, but then later on I was infatuated with you enough to throw caution to the wind.  I don\'t regret a single thing, Kerr, I love being with you, going out with you, sharing our common interests and travelling to Scotland with you will forever be a fantastic memory for me."  She paused long enough to draw a deep breath in order to continue, hoping he wouldn\'t cut her off mid-speech.  "But I still want the love I was seeking at the start, and I know it\'s unfair of me to make such strong demands of you.  Now I\'ve put you in a place of great confusion, and Ben\'s return has only enhanced that.  If you\'re undecided between us, then what I want is something you\'re unable to give.  It\'s not your fault, or my fault, it\'s just one of those things.  I\'ve decided to let you off the hook, Kerr.  I really do care very deeply for you, but you\'re not in a place I need you to be, and it\'s not going to work out between us."
 
She fell silent then, feeling like she\'d blurted out only half of what she\'d wanted to say, yet had spoken too much.  How could such a thing be?  She waited with trepidation for his response, hoping he would be a gentleman yet again for her, this one last time, and if so, they might be able to salvage a friendship - once she finished salvaging her heart.

[Existentially Odd]

Tears welled, unbidden, as he stared at the ceiling, listening to her words, admiring her bravery.  He\'d known she\'d always be someone who would do the right thing, but knowing it and experiencing it were different and he was humbled by her.  He swallowed, finding a lump of emotion lodged in his throat that caused him to swallow again; it was difficult to speak to her and he was surprised by how much her refinement had caused him to come unstuck.

"I understand," he told her sadly.  "You\'re right, of course.  I\'m terribly sorry I failed you; you deserve far better.  I honestly hope you find that - the love you need and deserve.  I\'ll miss you and... well, call if you ever need anything - supernatural or social," he told her, giving a heartbroken little laugh that merely caused his final words to wobble as the tears threatened to begin falling.

It was stupid and just so sad.

[Trillian]

She was in danger of letting the tears fall herself, especially when she heard the sadness in his.  Yes, he did care for her, and if Ben hadn\'t come along then maybe they\'d still be floating on the same relationship limbo they\'d been in.  Was it better this way?  She didn\'t know, it certainly didn\'t feel better this way, but she was too close to everything and knew her emotions were clouding her judgement.  Things had been so clear before the phone call, and now she was all muddled again.
 
"I will," she told him, even though she had no idea what kind of supernatural or social needs she\'d need.  At least this ending meant they could face each other again without embarrassment.  Once again the picture got a little clearer for her again.  "Take care," she said, and only listened long enough for him to return a similar endearment (if he so wished) before hanging up the phone.

[Existentially Odd]

He did have one final parting endearment for her - or advice, really.

"You too," he told her and then begged her attention a final time before he hung up.  "And Jenna?  It\'s not unfair of you to make demands of the one who loves you.  Don\'t ever think that; you deserve so much more.  Be safe."