The Long Road

[Kysis]

"Alive." There was some relief in the word as he spoke it, even though it was short and clipped.  If he had lost his parents as well, along with everything else, he did not know what kind of emotional condition he would be in, or if he would have come back so soon.  It was entirely likely that he would not have been able to. "They are managing the refugee camp."

Refugees.  That was all he was now, all his people were now.  Gone was the proud Greek spirit, never before truly conquered, never forced to bow to anyone else, brought to their knees, bleeding out of fatal wounds.  Kysis leaned into Lam, fiercely, hungrily, leaning into the kiss.

For a while there, he thought he would never get to see her again.  Never get to see Pandora again.  His lip quivered, hot tears clinging to his eyelashes for a moment.  He pulled back, gasping for breath.  He was afraid to give in, to let himself go, when he had already lost so much, and yet, this was home.  Right?  Despite how foreign it felt to him now, this was home?

He wanted it to be so bad. "Lam, I..." Kysis looked down.  He could feel the icy shield he had constructed melting, cracking, peeling away.  No, he felt too vulnerable still.  He had not had enough time.  Kysis swallowed roughly, trying to regain his composure, but he couldn\'t.

He wrapped his arms around Lam, pulling her closer, burring his head in her shoulder.

[Existentially Odd]

She wanted to hear the end of his sentence, yet she also didn\'t.  Having him cling to her was enough of an admission of pain, his load hard to bear; she believedl he was weary of it and about to let it out.  Returning from death hadn\'t been the only feat he\'d accomplished here today, he\'d reached his true family and everything seemed about to catch up to him.  She only hoped she was ready.

Wriggling her lower half as subtly as she could, she released one arm in order to untie her boots, toeing them off as she then worked on her pants.  Everything in her yearned to be closer to him, yet she feared already that him holding her outside the tub was forcing his body to twist in ways it shouldn\'t.  It would be easier if she was in there with him... what wasn\'t easy was accomplishing it while holding him.

With an exhalation that declared her frustration, Lam pulled away from Kysis, stripping as hastily as she could before stepping gingerly into the tub.  The heat gave her pause, and she was careful to get her feet either side of his thighs before she knelt down into it, her added weight lifting the water level towards the rim.  She ignored it though, leaning towards him and cupping his face in both her hands.

"It\'s alright, I\'m here, you\'re safe now," she told him fiercely, wanting him to understand that she would go to any length for him.  She was pliant before him, ready to lean her chest into his so that he could press his face into the crook of her shoulder, or kiss her, whatever he wanted, however she could comfort him, she would.

[Kysis]

He shouldn\'t have been surprised when Lam started stripping of her clothing and joined him in the tub.  When he first met her, he was younger, more innocent, and practically took some sort of to every little thing she did and said.  However, it was her openness about everything which had been endearing, and led to him tumbling head over heels in love with her.  Seeing this display was another bit of normalcy, another way his home had not changed.

Kysis sat there for a moment, leaning his head into her palms, nuzzling them slightly, though surely the little bit of light blond stubble was scratchy.  His muscles were relaxing slowly with the heat of the water, which also worked wonders to soften his scabs and re-moisten his stitches, stopping them from pulling so much.

After a few quiet seconds, Kysis sent a small wave at Lam, holding a very serious face.

The thought of safety, of finally being here, was near overwhelming.  Sending that wave at her, that splashing wave, was a small but needed diversion, a small, emotionally inappropriate smile cracking on his lips in start contrast to his red, watery eyes.

His tongue felt like lead, but he finally managed to speak. "I was afraid I\'d never made it back..." Kysis looked down at the water, not at all bothered by his own nudity, like he might have been once upon a time. "...or that I wouldn\'t have a home left to come back to."

There, he said it.  There were times when he had almost given up.  But he hadn\'t.  He had people to stand up for, not to mention a baby girl who needed him and a wife.

"How..." Kysis paused, clearing his throat lightly.  He had not spoken this much in a long time, his throat raspy and sore.  He almost asked how she had been, though he could guess.  Mourning was a terrible thing, after all.

[Existentially Odd]

Guilt suffused her when he mentioned he was afraid he\'d not have a home to come back to, nor a family, and she dropped her hands from his face, and her gaze too. She settled back, sitting on his thighs and letting her hands rest on her own, the happiness that had risen when he\'d given that little splash entirely dispelled by his words.
 
All she could think was how she\'d betrayed him. Tears welled and she blinked at the water around her breasts, wondering if he was going to finish his question... and whether this would be the right time to admit that she\'d done her best to move on with her life... but only got as far as Dagger\'s bed again.
 
"It was horrible," she whispered, her own voice hoarse with emotion. She still couldn\'t bring herself to look up at him. "I felt like my life ended, like Talon himself reached into my chest and tore out my heart. I... didn\'t cope very well, without you. Dora pulled me through, in the end but... every day it\'s been hard, resigning myself to believing you were gone, missing you like part of me was cut off. I... can\'t imagine what pain you went through... but I had much of my own," she assured him, giving a nod that sent one of her tears into the bath water she was staring at with a tiny plop.
 
She couldn\'t tell him, not yet. Not until he acknowledged how much she\'d been broken by his loss.

[Kysis]

Oh no.  She was crying.  That was not his intention at all.  This was supposed to be a happy reunion.  This was supposed to be joyful, and yet his heart was clenching, his lip trembling, just barely, not really enough to see, though it was enough to feel.  He felt it especially because of the tension of his new scar, that mauve arc pulling his skin tighter than it should have been from that split in his lip down to his chin.

It was his turn to reach out.  Kysis scooted forward, only vaguely aware of the much higher water line.  A few drops sloshed out, completely unnoticed.  He touched Lam\'s face, fingertips roving slowly over her cheek, tracing her lips, moving up to tuck an errant strand of red hair behind her ear.  It was like he was a blind man acquainting himself with her features for the first time, or worshipping her features with a slow sort of care.

He pulled her into a hug again, shivering at the feel of her skin against his, even as his back ached from the sudden strain on his wound.  Thin little pink scars ran up and down his back from the whip of the sultan\'s eldest son.  Kysis ran a hand up over Lam\'s hair, relishing it.

"I\'m sorry.  I wish... I\'m sorry. Σ \'αγαπώ."

[Existentially Odd]

His tenderness made her cringe inside, yet she could no more push him away than she could voluntarily stop breathing; she craved him, as she had for almost a year, crying herself to sleep dreaming of himand feeling her daughter a poor substitute.  He\'d taken her world by storm and then become it.  She couldn\'t bear to put anything between them right now, not after so long apart.  She mentally whispered a prayer to Adora, promising that she would find time to tell Dagger and end their affair - this very afternoon, if she could manage it - if only she could steal some reassurance now.  The sanctuary of his grasp was too powerful to resist.
 
Despite her rational thinking, him pulling her close again unleashed a further flood of emotion within her.  She slid as close to him as she dared, creating a triangle of space that kept their abdomens apart but clenched her thighs either side of his hips and wrapped her arms about his shoulders, chest tight against chest.  More tears came, unbidden, and she couldn\'t tell if they were from sadness, happiness to have him back or shame for believing what had turned out to be lies and seeking comfort in another man\'s arms.  All of this, no doubt, caused her to rest her head against his and sob like a forlorn child.
 
"I\'m sorry, too, I love you, too," she whispered back, once she had a little control and her crying was no longer hitching her breath irregularly.  She pulled back so that she could see his beautiful face once more, her fingers still roving restlessly over his newly scarred shoulder blades, learning the new bumps there.  "I\'ve missed you so much," she added, nibbling kisses at his lips, afraid to kiss him as hard as she wanted lest she do more harm there than good (even though there\'d already been at least one).

[Kysis]

As Lam began her small, tender shower of kisses, he could not help but smile into them, if only for the joy of being able to feel such ministrations again, where he had believed he might not ever again.  Even as he had dragged himself back to the camp of New Kreos, there had still been that doubt, but as always, Thanatos was not ready for him and he mended well, returned.

However, his relief was short lived as he looked down again, noticing the tendrils of blood drifting from around him.  Kysis reached back touching the back side of his wound, producing fingers slicked in a mixture of water and blood.  From that short feel, he knew he had pulled at least two of the stitches, and the pressure on the ones nearest those was more than it should be.

Kysis swallowed back the sudden taste of bile.

He was home, yes, but it was not over yet.

"Lam..." He looked up at her, then back at his hand. His worry was a mixed bag at the moment, part that he would bleed out now that he had reached home, and die here, despite everything he had done (he wasn\'t bleeding that much, but the panic was still there), and that Lam was in fact getting dirtier by being in the water with him, when she had been all dressed up and collected to meet with the king.

His tongue wouldn\'t work right now, though, just her name slipping out, tainted with fear.

[Existentially Odd]

The tone of his voice triggered alarm in her but she was used to acting decisively on an overload of adrenalin, so she stood quickly.  "We need to get you up so I can see how badly that\'s bleeding," she told him, not panicking until she\'d had a good look at the colour of the blood, its consistency and how much was leaking out of him.

"Careful, now," she said, stepping backwards in the tub and helping him stand up in the water, before she dropped his hands, got out completely and moved to the back of him.  Part of his wound was gaping, the bits of whatever had been holding it together poking out of his flesh on either side of it, and blood was running from it.  She was relieved to see it was a bright red colour, though.

"I think the water or the tub have taken off the scab and you\'ve broken some of those stitch things, so you\'re losing a bit of blood but it looks clean and it\'s not running too fast," she told him as she stepped back so she could see his face.  She glanced down at the front side of his wound and saw it wasn\'t faring nearly as badly, but then, she supposed it was easier to keep track of a wound you could see.

Looking worriedly back up into his eyes, she grasped his forearm, preparing to help him out of the tub even as she spoke.  "How about we get you lying on your stomach on Alia\'s bed and I\'ll either find Alex or go get someone here to fix you up?  The bleeding may not be too fast but I\'ll put something on it to soak up while I\'m gone, alright?" she queried, believing leaving him naked and on the closest bed at hand to be the most efficient course of action at this point.  She could lay the drying sheet of material down beneath him first.

[Kysis]

Kysis let himself be helped up, not taking the full brunt of standing on his own, like he might have if he was not so wounded.  Small tremors filled him as Lam moved around him, a thick knot forming in his throat.  It was decidedly much colder outside the bath than on the inside, goosebumps rising over his now damp and exposed skin.

The news, that his blood was the correct color, that there wasn\'t worse oozing from his back, made it slightly easier to breath.  For a moment, it had felt like a load of heavy stones laid across his chest, making it impossible to breathe, but now, that was slightly lessened.

It did not, however, stop the fact that he was bleeding.

Kysis was glad when Lam came back before him again, touched him again to help him out of the tub.  Contact was reassuring at this point, keeping him in the here and now.  There was a dark chasm near by, where he could easily fall, Kysis teetering precariously on that cliff.

The fact that Alia\'s room had not been changed at all, despite the fact that she had passed on some time ago, was reassuring in a way.  It meant that not too much had changed.  Kysis nodded, slowly, taking in what she offered.

"I sent Alex with the horses." The words fell numbly from his tongue, Kysis only really noticing what he said afterwards.  It was the truth.  Alex was the first of the household for him to find, the one he had given the reins over to.  It was entirely likely that Alex was back by now.  How long had it been, since he returned?

Kysis could not tell.

With shuffling steps, Kysis started off towards the door which led to the largest room in the house, the one that had been Marcos and Arna\'s room at first, then Alia\'s, and had sat empty since.  He touched the door knob, resting his head against the wood of the door for a moment, collecting himself as much as he could.

He had not even noticed how much water, now speckled here and there with blood, that he was leaving in his wake, nor had he thought about the fact that he was utterly in the nude, rows of scars visible, his torment laid bare.  Right now, his only thought was to remain standing.

[Existentially Odd]

Inspired to stop Kysis moving as quickly as possible, in order to stop blood pumping out of him, Lam moved hurriedly around him, turning back the bedding and laying down the drying sheet so Kysis could lay upon it.  Although there were no overt signs, Alex slept in this room, this bed now, to be closer to his memories of Alia.  It had taken Lam a while to work it out but when she did she had understood it; she\'d slept with Kysis\' memory as well.

Somewhat regretful that she\'d be kicking Alex out of his adopted bedroom, she knew the serving man would understand.  The bedclothes would not be sparklingly clean but they weren\'t that old and she knew they\'d be changed again soon enough anyway, with the amount of blood that was likely to get on them.

The slowest thing Lam did was walk Kysis to the bed and ease him down on his stomach, blanching when she saw the blood that had seeped down over his buttocks and legs.  She tried telling herself - as she literally sprinted for more drying sheets - that its path had been made easier by the water, with no resistance, so of course the blood looked more profuse, slicker.  It was hard to swallow her heart down out of her mouth, though.

"I will be as quick as I can," she reassured the back of her husband\'s hand as she laid one bit of material across his back to keep him warm and another to wipe up the blood from his legs and buttocks before she placed it on the wound itself.  She pulled the sheet up over his legs and rear end to protect his modesty a little when she returned with her planned army of specialists, then realised she\'d been about to dash out of the house naked.  Sighing impatiently, she picked up another drying sheet from the pile she\'d brought in and swiped her mostly-dry body down before racing in to the bathroom to reclaim her clothes.

Bringing everything back into the bedroom to hop around and dress beside Kysis, she also lifted the towel at intervals to see how fast the blood was welling.  At first it had been too fast and she was worried by having to change the towel almost immediately but the next couple of times showed obvious slowing and some congealing starting to take place.  By the time she was dressed and wearing her boots, she left the towel off so that it wouldn\'t stick to the wound, packing it around instead and telling Kysis what she was doing.

"Laying still is better, the bleeding is nearly stopped," she reassured him, crouching down by his head so that she could make eye contact with him.  "One of us will be back with you very soon, my love," she crooned, unwilling to say the word \'goodbye\' to him in any form.

Looking into his glazing eyes scared her too much to say such a thing, for she refused to acknowledge his sudden return only to farewell him again - in any form.  She brushed his hair aside and leaned forward to kiss him, planning to run as fast as she could to the apothecary and be back before he\'d lost any more blood.  It wouldn\'t be a decorous trip, but she didn\'t give a shit.

[Kysis]

Kysis gripped Lam like a vice as she led him into the bedroom, waiting patiently as she turned back the sheets and made the place ready for him.  It all looked clean and orderly and fresh.  Kysis felt bad dirtying the place, but too weak, too worried, to protest.

The entire arduous ride from New Kreos, Kysis had refused to truly rest, had refused to show even an inkling of the pain he was feeling, even an inkling of worry.  He had to be strong like the Liari steel to make it back, to return home and right the wrong done by Matthew in delivering news of his false demise.  If Matthew had just stayed in New Kreos, the shock upon returning home might not have been so hard, and Rico... Rico might have still been alive.  At least that was what Kysis told himself.

There was a slow churning sort of rage he had for Matthew, sitting beside that dark chasm in the back of his head.  They were not at the forefront, but waiting.

Kysis laid down thankfully, sagging down onto the overly soft bed.  He had not gotten to sleep on a bed since... since he originally left Oberon.  It felt good to lay down, and he tried, the best he could, to relax, though small trembles still took him now and then.

He was able to focus a little better now that he was off his feet, paying close attention to Lam, what she did.  He wanted to reach out to her, grab her, tell her not to leave, plead with her, but he remained silent, barely even moving until Lam was kissing him and telling him an indirect goodbye.

He turned his head, giving a soft kiss on her hand which he managed to catch without too much strain, before letting her go.  Kysis found he could not speak, just laying his head back down.

The last thing he wanted to say was goodbye, and he hoped it was the same way.  He had just come back.  Kysis closed his eyes, eyelids feeling as though they weighed a hundred pounds at least.

He quickly dropped into a light, fitful slumber.  It had been a while since he\'d even gotten proper sleep, and when he started to get some, horrific nightmares always woke him.  Now, it was a sleep of utter exhaustion, Kysis forced into it without even really noticing.

[Existentially Odd]

As it turned out, Lam got to the apothecary and was returning with two of them in tow - one an older woman who moved frustratingly slowly and a young man who helped her along for the most part - by the time Alex got back from the stables. Atropos had been surprisingly little trouble for him, but he\'d stayed to attend to the horse himself, wanting to reassure his lord that the beast was well cared for.
 
The whole walk back to the manor, Lam shot anxious sideways looks at the old woman, wondering if it would be appropriate to pick up her other arm and simply heft her the whole way, so that it would happen faster. She didn\'t, though the urge was difficult to resist.
 
Kysis was sleeping when they all entered and Alex and Lam gathered quietly in the room with the two healers, listening as the old woman clucked and cleaned the wound. She gave quiet advice but poked and prodded at the opening quite viciously (in Lam\'s worried opinion), exclaiming over how deep it went and what sort of healing she could see happening within. Overall, she seemed satisfied, dropping powders of various sorts into the gap before she stepped aside and invited her colleague - whose hands weren\'t failing with the first signs of arthritis - in to begin sewing the wound shut with sheep tendon - the proper way to do it, she explained haughtily.
 
Lam barely paid them any attention from then on, her gaze rivetted on Kysis, expecting he\'d awaken when the cowl first pierced his flesh and wanting him to not to be startled by it - but she could hardly wake him sooner, when there was a chance he would sleep through it. If the gentleman (whose name was Robert, as it happened) attending him was as gentle as his nature indicated he would be, it might be possible to leave her husband to sleep deservedly.

[Kysis]

Somehow, Kysis had not awakened when the group came in, the exhaustion winning out after all.  Though he had always been a light sleeper, this was a very deep slumber.  Even the initial poking at the back half of his wound did not wake him in the least, or the powders applied to it.

It was only when the needle pricked him, the hard pulled sheep tendon sliding through his tender skin, that Kysis suddenly jolted and tensed, eyes flying open, wide and full with a wild, almost mad sort of fear.  He gasped a few short breaths, turning quite suddenly.

And then he saw that he was laying in a bed, in Alia\'s old room, and that it was a healer merely sewing up his back.

Kysis sagged back into the bed, burying his face into his arms, squeezing his eyes shut.  He tried relaxing his back muscles again, the young male healer having paused to wait for him, so there would be no more tearing.  Then finally, when Kysis got his fluttering heart to calm and his breathing to be more regular, the man started stitching him up again.

It was painful, considering there was no sort of numbing agent used at all and the wound was quite tender from being reopened, but Kysis was glad for some proper medical attention, as there really hadn\'t been much in New Kreos.  His original treatment had been the sort of treatment a soldier gives on the field, which is better than nothing, but not much.  This would help a great deal.

[Existentially Odd]

The tendons were wet, pulled from a stoppered bottle in Robert\'s kit, but the needle was still sharp and Lam knew there would be much discomfort.  She moved swiftly to his head, resting a hand on his muscular shoulder to let him know she was nearby, knowing he\'d gone through much worse to get this far, but wondering at it nevertheless.
 
"Would you like some wine?" she offered quietly, knowing alcohol would soothe him and help numb the pain for a while.  She had stronger alcohol available, if he wished that, but figured she\'d start with the more refined offerings.  Thinking on it, she realised he probably hadn\'t had a decent meal in a while, either, and she should dutifully offer that, as well.  "Are you hungry?"

[Kysis]

Kysis leaned his head against Lam\'s arm as she touched his arm, taking a small amount of comfort from her closeness.  It had been slightly disorienting, waking to a sudden pain, seeing strange people and a room he had never woken up in before, but now, he had calmed down a bit, and knowing Lam was in the room was a reassurance.

The offer of wine... Kysis mulled over it, considering.  It would help with the pain.  It would help keep his mind off everything.  It might even help keep the demons away.

And then food was offered.  Kysis\' stomach lurched a little.  He was feeling a touch too nauseous to smell food, much less consume it, the pain and fatigue not helping any.  Perhaps later, when he was stitched up all the way and had some time to recover from a relapse in the way of blood loss.

"No food, thank you.  Perhaps water?" Kysis\' mouth was considerably drier than he expected, and when he wetted his lips, they only seemed drier for his efforts.  The thought of wine was discarded, forgotten when his stomach churned at the mention of food.  Water, however, sounded good, as Kysis knew he was probably on the dehydrated side.