Conciliatory Gestures

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr stood in the middle of the walkway between the Oligarch offices on the third floor of the Chambers, literally shuffling his feet.  Aware that he looked somewhat like a contrite schoolboy, he still couldn\'t make a decision about whether or not he should go and see Vomas on the way back to his office... or not.  He\'d been to see the vampire\'s brother the night before and it had been a relatively amicable meeting.  Mostly.

But the primary outcome had been that, in an effort to ascertain whether or not the attention-deprived vampire would reunite with Lazarus and cause trouble for him or the Oligarchy, he\'d made a rather unusual offer.  He doubted it would be accepted but... if it did... would Vomas be upset with him?  He probably needed to know... just in case... right?  Hence, his indecisive foot-rubbing display in the middle of the offices; they were very expensive brown leather shoes, too, really not built for rubbing together.  And he, dressed in a dark brown suit with white pinstripes and a beige workshirt with a burnt orange tie really didn\'t fit the part of a simple schoolboy, either.

Ahhh fuckit.

Aware that some of the personal assistants buzzing about the place were starting to look questioningly at him, he made a snap decision and strode over to Vomas\' door, rapping sharply on it.  When he felt a mental query touch his sensitive mind, he responded that way, happy not to use his physical voice to announce his business anyway.

It\'s Kerr, Vomas.  I need to talk with you, if you\'ve got a moment?  It\'s about your brother.

[Saccharin]

Please, come in, he responded promptly. If it\'d been anyone but the Luminary at his door, he would\'ve stalled, giving himself an opportunity to push down the sleeves of his crisp white dress shirt so he could put his suit jacket back on. Instead, it hung limply on the coat rack near his desk, in desperate need of a body to give it form again.

He pushed his chair back and stood as the door opened and Kerr strode through, his hand grasping for the burgundy tie that\'d been folded neatly and placed aside on his desk. Quickly, he opened a top drawer and swept it inside, shutting it even as Kerr shut the door behind him.

"My brother?" he asked, his thick dark eyebrows lowered marginally. He hadn\'t received any reports recently of... well, of any activity at all. Apparently his brother had gone on a movie-watching binge over the past week and had spent hours and hours unmoving except to get up and change out discs when necessary. In short, he had become potentially the most boring individual a spy could be assigned. Odd, really, how that\'d worked out. "What about him?" he added, searching Kerr\'s face for some indication of the news he would be receiving.

[Existentially Odd]

"May I?" Kerr requested, pointing to one of the chairs facing Vomas from the other side of his desk before proving the question was merely a formality as he sat in it, undoing the buttons of his suit jacket and spreading them slightly as he did.  Once settled, he raised his right foot and rested the ankle on the opposite thigh, revealing a sliver of sock that exactly matched his tie.  In a tie it looked fine; socks that colour, however, were rather... jaunty, really, but he didn\'t give a lot of thought to such things as he watched his colleague carefully.

"Well, I suppose it\'s a good thing that you seem surprised," the Luminary observed drolly, resting his arms on the arms of the chair and letting his hands dangle down the front, either side of his legs.  Open chest, open tale, everything up front - that was what his body was saying to Vomas, even if he sounded slightly more hesitant, verbally.  Also, his eyes weren\'t maintaining perfectly steady contact, occasionally straying to glance at the desk or the coat on the rack or the wall or anything else in the office he felt would be better to look at, rather than staring straight into the man\'s dark eyes, it seemed.

Kerr cleared his throat and continued.  "I, uh, went to visit him last night.  As you\'ve likely heard, Lazarus is back in town and after I saw him the night before, I thought it might, uh, behoove me to let Halwyn know.  I wanted to know whether he had plans to reacquaint himself with that... " he trailed off and looked to the side, his nose screwed up as he tried to find an accurate word to describe Lazarus

cunt

and not really able to think of a polite one (and his head spat that little gem out at Vomas regardless, leaving nothing to the imagination).

Giving up, he looked back and his expression smoothed.  "Well.  It seemed he doesn\'t, anyway.  Halwyn seems to believe that the supernatural population of the city is not really interested in freedom, they just want to be told what to do - by us, I suppose," he confided, giving a shrug and breathing a small laugh as his hands lifted and templed together over his lap (slightly blocking his body now, indicating unconsciously that he was getting to the awkward bit).

"We... talked a little.  I suppose you\'d say that\'s what we did, anyway," he frowned down at his foot, trying to decide if that was an accurate assessment of events or not.  "He\'s got a... " Kerr\'s right hand lifted to describe a vague circle in the air before him, his face pulling up into a moue of disdain, "very aggravating upstart of a pet living there that sort of meddled in things -  I spoke to him mentally you see, and when he became aggressive about it, I - well, I guess you\'d say I taunted him and his pet frothed up at me like one of those annoying little dogs women carry around in their handbags," he described, laughing at his own imagery and defamation of Halwyn\'s bitch of a pet.

His hand had been waving about randomly to punctuate his description but now it settled once more - clasped inside his other one upon his flat stomach, a solid block.  "Once she was gone it was better, though.  I told him he should learn to use his mental abilities properly and he told me no-one had been able to teach him so... well, I offered to try, if he wanted to learn.  Kind of... made my point by, er, levitating him," Kerr admitted sheepishly, lowering his head and scratching mildly at an eyebrow for no real reason, "then let him attack me.  To get it out of his system.  He says he\'ll teach me to fight, if I can train him," he laughed, though it sounded uneasy now.  His gaze was flitting again also, showing that he was concerned about Vomas\' reaction to his news.

He cleared his throat again.  "I, uh, thought you should know, anyway, just in case... "  His voice trailed off, for he didn\'t quite know how to end that sentence.  Just in case Halwyn complained?  Just in case the yappy dog of a pet complained?  Just in case Halwyn actually called?  Yes, that was probably it.  "In case he calls me and it goes ahead?"

[Saccharin]

Vomas sat back down after Kerr took a seat, arranging himself so he was perched on the edge, his back ramrod straight and his elbows at perfect right angles and resting lightly upon the armrests of his chair. He had steeled himself for whatever news Kerr had, and he was thankful he\'d gone to the trouble when the other vampire started talking and even more so as his neared the end of his story.

He felt the beginnings of annoyance stirring in him when he thought about all the effort he\'d put forth to keep his brother away, and there Kerr went, inviting him back into his life. He tried to squash the feeling before it physically manifested itself, but the muscles in his jaw clenched as he clamped his teeth together.

He took a deep breath and closed his eyes briefly as he gave logic a chance to reassert itself. Kerr couldn\'t have been aware of his efforts. He\'d only ever spoken to one person about how restless his days had been because Halwyn had no control of his mental self and would project at him while he was sleeping.

Even though he was entirely capable of shutting his brother out, his attempts felt something like a moth constantly fluttering against the protections he had in place. And it\'d gone on all day. In desperation, he\'d had runes placed in his bedroom specifically attuned to act as a repellent to his searching brother, but that hadn\'t solved the problem of the same thing occurring while he was conducting his nightly business. Wards couldn\'t be carried everywhere - not ones powerful enough to deter one half of a blood bonded pair from seeking out the other.

He\'d had to put his brother\'s mind to rest, let him know where he was, and then he\'d effectively bribed him to stay away from the hotel and please, not to think of him too loudly. Now there was a real possibility Halwyn would have to come to the converted hotel for lessons, and he didn\'t have a good, legitimate reason for requesting that not happen.

Perhaps, though... Perhaps if Kerr was able to teach Halwyn how to keep his thoughts to himself, he wouldn\'t have to deal with the constant strain of keeping his mind locked away in a steel bunker with a thousand fences and trenches dug around its perimeter. "I tried teaching him once," Vomas admitted, "but he showed the all the capability of a rock. And that\'s being generous." He leaned forward and crossed his arms on the table. "I don\'t mean to imply you\'re not capable of teaching, but a rock, Kerr. We\'re talking rocks."

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr laughed aloud, highly amused by Vomas\' earnestness.  Thinking it was rude, he quelled it as quickly as he could, but his eyes were shining with the laughter and he was still smiling as he responded.

"I had rather thought more along the lines of a goldfish, with the limited amount of concentration he\'s got, a rock doesn\'t seem to do his, er, hyperactive focus justice.  Far too dormant.  One thing he\'s not, is still," Kerr intoned, holding up a finger to punctuate his point.

He gave a shrug and his head tilted to the left, his next words exhaled towards Vomas on a sigh.  "Shite, I dunno\' if he\'ll call me or not - I gave him my personal card, figured we could keep it private and meet at the Capital or something, so he doesn\'t have to get all jiggered over the demons here - but I doubt he\'ll call.  I just wanted to make a peace offering, y\'know?  Keep the enemies of the Oligarchy close and all that.  I had considered that if I was successful, it might be akin to giving a three year old a loaded gun but... eh, we\'ll cross that bridge when we come to it, I guess," he shrugged again.

As he looked at Vomas from that tilted angle, he suddenly remembered the other discovery he\'d made last night, and frowned.  "By the way, he said to tell \'Senan\' that he paid a bill and you weren\'t to worry about it?"  It was a question, not because he wanted confirmation on the details of the message, but a comment on the name.  Was Vomas really going by a different name and if so, why?  His befuddled expression said it all.

[Saccharin]

Vomas wasn\'t sure what he\'d said had warranted laughter, so did not join in. If anything, he looked mildly confused, cocking his head to the side and blinking rapidly several times, his mouth pinched at the corners. His face relaxed when the Luminary explained why he\'d approached Halwyn in the first place (peace offerings seemed entirely reasonable to him, considering how much he was paying his brother a month to stay away) but he became tense again when Kerr relayed the message Halwyn had sent.

He sat up, his arms sliding off the desktop, and frowned at Kerr. Of course. Of course he\'d used that name. Every fucking time he talked to his brother, he insisted on using that name. Why wouldn\'t he use it with Kerr too?

"I see," he said stiffly. If he hadn\'t reacted, then perhaps he could\'ve written it off as an eccentricity of Halwyn\'s, but he couldn\'t get his expression under control. "That was the name I was born with," he said, unclenching his jaw only enough to speak again. "He forgets I haven\'t gone by that for at least two hundred years."

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr could only stare at Vomas, mildly shocked by how much emotion the man was displaying - he\'d come to the conclusion long ago that such a thing was beyond the vampire\'s personal reach, and he\'d been glad of that.  It was reassuring, to have someone so level-headed and objective on his staff - especially when others liked the drama of things and were prone to pontificating at length, just because they liked the sound of their own voice, it seemed.

In fact, he\'d just been thinking what a mistake he\'d made in laughing at Vomas\' joke (because his employee\'s mouth told him in no uncertain terms that he\'d not been joking) and reminding himself to keep things emotionless when suddenly it was the complete opposite.  At the mention of one name -  a name that he was very uncomfortable with, obviously.  Kerr was torn between feeding his curiosity and prying further - there would never be a time beyond now that he could imagine he\'d do it - or letting the man keep his secrets.

But he was clenching his jaw!
That was not a Vomas thing to do.
Yeah...
Now or never.
Alright!

"It\'s a good name - I had a cousin named Senan.  Great bloke.  Was always fond of him.  But... you prefer Vomas?"  The question was asked delicately, openly requesting a little extra information beyond a simple affirmation or declination if Vomas would be so kind as to provide it, while being airy enough that it was obvious if Vomas kept his answer simple, it wouldn\'t offend him.  It was obviously not a pleasant thing to discuss and it wasn\'t like the two of them were friendly enough for Vomas to divulge his secrets to him, after all.

Kerr wouldn\'t be averse to having a personal discussion and getting Vomas\' objective opinion on a few things in his life, of course, but he\'d never got the impression that the other Irishman would welcome that.  He wasn\'t even certain that Vomas had a private life to speak of, in fact.  He sort of hoped he\'d find out now and his eyebrows were raised hopefully at the prospect.

[Saccharin]

"The name of a boy," he said, his frown intensifying. The boy had been born of servants, existing only because his Lord had allowed it. Because it had pleased his Lord, he\'d been fed, clothed and given a spot on the kitchen floor to sleep on that he\'d had to share with wolfhounds (they\'d been blessedly warm, but also flea ridden).

He\'d been itchy, dirty, and living under the rule of a man who\'d thought it entertaining to demand that he dance for them. Oh, how he\'d laughed and laughed at the gawky motions of a teen who had grown tall too quickly to have all his limbs move with the fluidity demanded in a dance. Senan had been a filthy little monkey, given tidbits for his performances and then sent on his way to scrub, sweep and otherwise help maintain his Lord\'s home.

Then she\'d taken an interest in him, stealing him away from the keep because she thought him such a beautiful child (though he\'d been well into his twentieth year of life when she arrived), and so full of promise that it would be a waste to leave him in such a grimy, awful place. She hadn\'t been mistaken, and delighted in how he\'d devoured all the knowledge she\'d shared with him, and how he\'d demand more, always more.

Sweet Senan, do you want to remain as you are for always, by my side? Come into my arms.
Sweet, dear Senan, don\'t worry, it won\'t last long.
Senan, we can fix him, it\'s alright. Don\'t cry.
Senan, please, you\'ve been in there for weeks, you\'re only making it worse.

Senan!
 
"I prefer Vomas," he said, and smiled tightly.
 
It wasn\'t until he\'d pulled away from his memories to speak that he realized he\'d been leaking bits and pieces of himself out and into the open where anyone with even the slightest sensitivity could read them. He slammed his mind shut, dismayed that he\'d left himself open like a novice, like a fledgling, like Senan would\'ve.

The name - the person he\'d been - was weak, and he wanted no part of it.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr gave a small start as the sensations that had invaded him were snatched back and Vomas regained control of his thoughts.  Guiltily, he wondered if he\'d pushed too far, if he\'d inadvertently invaded the other\'s thoughts simply because he\'d been intensely curious, and he couldn\'t say for sure that the exchange had been all one way.

Instinctively, he\'d quested, his mind finding it a natural thing to touch another\'s when conversing with them, for it was the best way to get the full effect.  Normal conversations, by comparison, were two dimensional and flat, so Kerr knew he had a habit of brushing a mind while he spoke, tapping into his companion\'s senses in an effort to make it three dimensional.  The brain produced memories based on them, after all, and it was the best way to understand.

He was saddened by what he understood of Vomas\' beginnings.  Not unusual, by any means, but it didn\'t fit the aristocratic person before him.  He\'d seen from Senan\'s perspective how he\'d lain with dogs for warmth, had scratched incessantly and felt smothered by filth.  Had danced with him in his hour of humiliation and then known relief as a warmth and welcoming feminine persona washed over him.  He\'d not seen her face but rather had erratic flashes of remembered emotions... mixed, elated at first, hungry... then despair.  Again.  He\'d heard her voice change also, from crooning and seductive to impatient and demanding, just as Vomas had closed himself off and Kerr retreated his mental feelers, too.

It was difficult to know what to say and so he was silent for a few moments, watching Vomas intently.  To his credit, he appeared unruffled by the knowledge that they\'d mentally connected and that Kerr had shared a sensory moment of understanding, and so the Luminary felt no pity for him.  Just gratitude, that there\'d been... a little more to Vomas, for a moment.  Apparently, he kept much of himself shut away, and Kerr himself understood that there was no changing what was past and that that was the best way to deal with it.

When circumstances were beyond control - whether because of age, stature or station - one took what they could and built upon that, in an effort to survive.  Changing a name seemed a simple thing, but he now understood it as so much more.  It was Vomas taking control and steering his life as it deserved to be, never more the victim of circumstance, but the master of his destiny.

Kerr\'s smile was gentle, his expression placid as he watched his oligarch from his relaxed slouch in the chair across from him.  Halwyn was a shit, to refuse to acknowledge Vomas\' change; Kerr wouldn\'t be surprised if he found out Halwyn was one of those vampires who wore their urchin heritage proudly, like a medal of honour upon their sleeve, for having survived so brilliantly as to have become eternal and righteous.  Kerr also doubted that the younger sibling ever truly understood what it was like to be the eldest child in a family, to pave the way, to have all the responsibility of parents\' hopes and dreams on their shoulders, to bear the pressure of vicarious success and failures like a brand put upon their soul at birth - he\'d been the only, so he understood that well enough.

"I understand," he said politely, his smile broadening reassuringly for just a moment before it settled once more.  "I think your brother\'s an obnoxious asshole.  I may well throttle him before I teach him anything," Kerr observed mildly, indicating that he understood more about Vomas and Halwyn\'s brotherly dynamic now, as well as understanding more about where Vomas was coming from.  "Rock, indeed," he muttered, shaking his head as he got up and prepared to leave.  He\'d said what he\'d come to say and didn\'t feel that Vomas would like him hanging around after revealing so much, so he was prepared to hear a parting comment and be on his way, leaving the oligarch in peace.

[Saccharin]

He understood. No judgment, no pity, no mockery - just acceptance. Of all the ways he might\'ve reacted, Kerr had settled on the one way that Vomas hadn\'t been expecting... and the one he was most grateful for.

Despite having shut himself away only seconds prior, he found himself reaching past all the walls, fences and trenches he had around his mental self and out to the other vampire. Lightly as the kiss of eyelashes against skin, he brushed against Kerr.

Thank you, he said, and following closely behind that was the feeling of gratitude, intense in its rawness. It was colored by concern that Kerr was serious about what he might do Halwyn, because regardless of how annoying or obnoxious he could be, he couldn\'t imagine his brother not being around.

  It might\'ve made more sense to want rid of his sibling, because he was a physical manifestation of the very past he was trying to hide, but any time he thought of ending him, Vomas found himself returning to one simple thing: Halwyn was family. And even in the face of all the pain and suffering his brother caused, he still loved him.

  "Spare him if you can," he said wryly.