Playing Adults

[Saccharin]

Moments earlier she\'d been grateful to know Dominik was going to be there for her and the baby, but she was beginning to fully realize how much of herself she would be giving up to be a partner - a half, rather than whole.

As she\'d explained to Sable on one of the first nights he\'d stayed at her house, she wasn\'t in a normal relationship. She never had been, not really. Every time she\'d tried, they\'d expected her to make sacrifices on their behalf, and she\'d been unable to do so. Now there was a child that would require that of her and Dominik who wanted to be part of their lives and she was suddenly overwhelmed to the point of tears. Luckily, they pooled up without slipping past her eyelashes and she turned her head to dab at the corner of her eyes.

Damn her hormones. They were not helping.

"I\'m sure I\'ll need you there," she admitted, and smiled weakly. For a woman who normally prided herself on her state of independence, realizing that she would need help in such a large way was very... humbling. "And my house is plenty big now. But maybe it\'d make sense to live closer to a forest or something? I don\'t know. How long-" Her already quiet voice dropped to a level only a notch above a whisper. "-will it spend as a... bear?"

[pinkroses]

Dom set down his cutlery as he saw he eyes watering, unsure whether it was something he’d done or not. In the Oligarchy, he knew what to say, what was expected of him and those he looked after, but here, with Carrie, he was lost. Nothing he said seemed to be able to make her happy and he wanted to hold her again but she’d told him to sit down.

At her question Dom glanced around to make sure no one was listening in, relieved that this restaurant was exclusive enough to offer well spaced tables, so there was little fear of being overheard accidentally.

“I grew up mainly in the forest, in that form. It all depends, Carrie. It’s tiring to change, so hopefully we won’t have to worry about it shifting in public, but we’ll have to teach it from an early age about those things if we’re going to stay in the city. Where I was, there was no worry of people seeing me change. My parents thought that was the easier option.”

Maybe it would be best to discuss those sorts of things with the person who should know the rules - Tau might be able to advise him on what was expected of shifters with children. He should probably let it be known at the Oligarchy anyway.

He reached out to offer her a hand again, hoping she would take it. “Carrie, perhaps it would be better to talk about this elsewhere? Would you be more comfortable with that. We can grab food on the way home, talk about all this,” he suggested, not wanting her to have to worry about this.

[Saccharin]

She took his hand again when it was offered, but hardly felt his fingers tighten around hers. He was suggesting they leave? They\'d only just received their appetizer (and she only dimly remembered it being ordered), and their main courses were still on the way. Why would they leave?

Because I\'m freaking out.

"No, no. It\'s fine. I\'m fine. I\'ll be okay," she said, her voice tremulous and betraying the fact that she was still trying to convince herself of those things. "Really," she repeated when she thought she caught Dominik looking at her dubiously. "If it comes down to it, we can ask them to box up our order and then go, but I\'d really like to stay here for now."

It seemed a complete waste to make it into the nicest restaurant in the city and then leave before they even had an opportunity to enjoy it.

"We can talk about everything later," she said, trying on a smile for size and finding it fit just as comfortably as it always did.

[pinkroses]

As Carrie reassured him she would like to stay Dom paused for a moment and then gave a nod. He wanted to talk to her about all of this openly, but as she said, it did seem a shame to waste the evening. He pulled her hand closer and gently kissed it, giving her a warm smile.

“Well in that case, we’ll stay as long as you want, and celebrate the good news. You’re giving me something I never thought I’d be able to have, just because it seemed too complicated, but now we can do this, and we will make it work,” he said, weaving their fingers together lovingly.

He’d thought that if he wanted a family, he would have to find another bear shifter, just to make things easier, but outside of his parents he’d never met one, even in this city. But she was strong and although it would be difficult he had no doubt Carrie would take it all in her stride.

“Do you have any idea how happy I am right now?” Dom said with a laugh, releasing Carrie to lean back in his chair a little, shaking his head in disbelief.

[Saccharin]

Carrie finally picked up her fork and prodded at what food there was in front of her after Dominik sat back, still smiling widely. "I\'m glad you\'re happy. I really am. Makes me feel a little silly for not thinking you would be, though."

She\'d, in a long chain of what now seemed to be unreasonable thoughts, had imagined at best that he\'d be upset with her for not taking the proper precautions to prevent pregnancy. But he was happy - delighted even - and it was infectious. He was on board, and she could safely make plans with him included.

"We\'re going to have a baby," she said, her voice teetering on the edge of awe, and her food once again forgotten as she looked at him with her eyes gleaming. "A baby."

There was a moment of silence, then she shook her head.

"I never thought I\'d have one, to be honest. Wasn\'t in the plans, you know? Some more shops, beating Starbucks at their own game, sure. But a baby?"

[pinkroses]

“Sometimes the best opportunities are the unexpected ones,” Dom said with a grin at his lover. He was used to seeing her so in control, taking everything in her stride - but seeing her like this, it wasn’t a bad thing. It was just different. And feeling like he was needed, that was amazing.

The two enjoyed their dinner, savouring the delights of one of the most exclusive restaurants in the city, and the view before them, of the city and their lives. They came up with crazy ideas, dismissing them straight away, and embracing the better suggestions. Dom wasn’t used to showing his exciting, but tonight he couldn’t hide it and he was more than happy to share that with the woman opposite him.

A few hours later the happy couple were strolling out of the building,  their hands clasped and shoulders bumping together. They had driven to the restaurant, but it was a nice night and there were a few nice laces to walk nearby, so Dom lead Carrie along a nearby path, before pulling her close, leaning against a wall as his arm wrapped around her back. His hand rested on her lower back as his other hand moved to rest gently on her belly.

“So what do you think? Boy or girl? Any names in mind yet?” he asked with a smirk, brushing his lips against her gently.

[Saccharin]

She leaned into him, taking advantage of the vast expanse of his chest by resting her cheek against it. Carrie felt downright diminutive next to him, and it was comforting; she felt protected, safe.

"Hmm. I haven\'t really thought about it. But based on the fact I was an only child, a girl would probably be best. I have absolutely no idea how to handle boys." Not that she thought she\'d do much better raising a little girl, but she at least had a point of reference when it came to someone of her own gender! "And no names yet... I didn\'t want to-"

Jinx it.

She was on the high end of thirty, and she knew enough to realize her pregnancy was likely going to be a difficult one if she was successful in carrying the child through its first few months. Even then, she was at a higher risk of having a child with a multitude of disorders, just because she wasn\'t twenty anymore. She pursed her lips and clutched a little tighter at Dominik, not wanting her thoughts to go down that particular path any farther than they already had. She\'d talk to the doctor Dominik had mentioned about everything, not worry herself silly over all the information she\'d found on the internet already.

"-get set on a name yet." She tilted her head back to look up at him, the space between her eyebrows creased. "Earlier you mentioned living in the forest with your parents. Was it hard to come to the city? Live and work here?"

[pinkroses]

“I’m sure you’d learn quickly if we did have a boy, but I would be more than happy with either,” Dom said, swaying Carrie from side to side slightly. Although he noticed she still seemed worried about things, he was oblivious to her worries about baring the baby at this age - he didn’t know too much about human physiology, not when it came to details like that. Surely if your body was capable of bearing children then how much could go wrong?

“It took some getting used to. My parents had brought me here on trips, and they’d home schooled me to a point, so it wasn’t like I was grunting and snuffling at people…. Not too much anyway,” Dom said playfully, leaning down to touch the tip of his nose to hers, then straightening up again.

“Finding work was the hardest. I had no experience, and in winter I get… it’s like being on sedatives for months. Which meant I got fired from a couple of jobs in winter for just not showing up on time. I’m used to staying awake and being active now, working at the Oligarchy helped, but you know how I get,” Dominik said with a shrug. He’d explained it briefly to Carrie before, it wasn’t exactly something they could have ignored when they had been together for over two years, but now it would really matter.

[Saccharin]

"Like a bear not allowed to hibernate," she volunteered with a giggle. "So grumpy." Briefly, she stood on her tiptoes and landed a kiss on his chin. "It\'s okay, though. Don\'t you worry. I still like you."

She pressed her lips together and returned her cheek to his chest, reeling, because she\'d nearly said the other \'l\' word. She did, though. She had for a while. Even given the parameters of their arrangement, she\'d fought off developing feelings for the shifter. And when she had, she\'d labeled the emotional attachment she had to him as something most certainly not beginning with the letter \'l\'.

"So basically what you\'re saying is that the baby will adjust to whatever world we expose it to?" She nodded, and ran her hand over his back. "Makes sense, really. We\'ll raise it in the city, and that\'s what it\'ll know." Carrie lifted her head and smiled beatifically up at him. "I didn\'t think it was possible to be this happy. You are, right? Happy, I mean? You\'re sure?"

[pinkroses]

“Grumpy, pfft,” Dom said, rolling his eyes with a chuckle as she kissed him. Okay, so maybe he was occasionally snappy, judging more harshly, doing as little as possible at work. He knew his assistant hated him in winter, but Dom was a good boss the rest of the year so he thought it made up for it.

“She’ll adjust, but she’s going to find it hard and in the city… it’s going to be hard to hide what she is if we stay in one place. She’ll age like me, when she’s two she look like she’s, what, about five maybe?” Dom said thoughtfully, “But don’t worry, she’ll mentally fit it, I don’t act like a teenager that much, do I?” he added with a laugh, squeezing her gently.

“But I am happy, and we will make this work. We can swap schools and things like that, we’ll teach her she has to be careful,” he said, slipping a hand to take hers and beginning to walk with Carrie, slipping into calling the baby a she without thinking about it.

[Saccharin]

Even if Dominik hadn\'t realized he\'d already assigned their child a gender, Carrie had and she fought back a grin. It was still too early to tell what it would be, but she wouldn\'t correct him. There was as much of a chance as it being a girl as a boy, and it wasn\'t worth making him feel sheepish for thinking of it one way or the other. As she walked along with him, she squeezed his hand and reached over with her other arm to clasp at his bicep with her fingers.

"Since I\'m not a shifter, will the baby be the same as you?" The blood would certainly be diluted, and she wondered if a child of mixed heritage would age and grow like one born of two full-blooded shifters.

[pinkroses]

“Yes, it’ll be a shifter. And it’s children will be too,” Dom explained, gesturing with his free hand. “But there can be issues when that happens, if the blood is diluted too much. It’ll be fine for our little one, because both of my parents were like this. But as the generations go on… it may become more difficult to shift, or to fully shift if they don’t choose a shifter as a mate,” Dom said.

His parents had never told him that he should mate with another shifter, but he had no doubt they would have been happy to see that happen. But his bloodline was strong, it would be an issue for a couple of generations, and hopefully by then there would be another shifter in the mix.

“It can be bad, stopping half way through shifting. And can cause all sorts of issues. You may not be able to change fully to either again. I believe that’s where some of those myths, about centaurs and mermaids come from. Unfortunate accidents,” Dom said to Carrie with a smile, as though telling her an interesting story that he’d heard that day, rather than something which could affect their great grandchildren.