Author Topic: A Week's Too Long  (Read 11833 times)

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Offline pinkroses

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A Week's Too Long
« on: July 25, 2011, 07:53:50 AM »
Finally it was Wednesday. It had only been a week since he’d moved out of the Luminary Chambers, but for Ichabod it had felt like an age being apart from his sire. He’d been miserable and felt neglected, although he and Kerr had agreed on the weekly visit. And Ichabod knew he could have gone around to see his sire, but he had wanted to show he could do this, be independent (kind of). Pity he didn’t really feel like he was handling it all that well.

But that misery was gone tonight. Ichabod had woken up feeling like a child on Christmas morning, and leapt straight into the shower, dressing swiftly. He knew Kerr might have a couple of things to do at work, and he’d have to get ready and drive over her too, but Ichabod wanted to be ready when he did appear.

The week had had it’s ups and downs and Ichabod had plenty to tell his sire. He was wondering whether Ben had told Kerr about his visit - Ichabod hadn’t called Kerr to tell him, he didn’t want it to seem like he was telling on his brother. But he knew what he was going to say about it to Kerr tonight. Well, there were a few variations of the words he’d gone over in his head and he knew that none of them would probably come out right.

But there were other things to talk about too. Ichabod didn’t want tonight to be focused on the bad parts of the week. If he was only going to see Kerr once a week he wanted it to be a happy time.

The apartment hadn’t been changed all that much so far. Ichabod had spread some of his things around and (after a little discussion with Kerr when he’d first moved in) changed one of two bits and pieces. Most of the changes so far had happened in the bedroom - the dark red curtains which had been hung on the four poster bed had been replaced by a creamy coloured material, giving the whole room a much brighter feel. The comforter was a pale blue cotton which had some darker blue and cream stripes on it. Ichabod preferred the lighter colours. He didn’t mind the black in parts of the apartment, but he was glad Kerr had already swapped the black leather for the warm chocolate colour.

When the knock finally came at the door Ichabod was already on his way to the door, the book discarded on the coffee table, since he’d been trying to feel when Kerr was getting closer. He’d been sat on the sofa with a book, but hadn’t really been reading it. He was wearing a pair of dark denim jeans which fitted snugly in all the right places but were still comfortable, teamed with a white t-shirt which had an arty looking splash of colour across the front, and his feet were bare. The chain he always wore was tucked inside his t-shirt and there were a couple of leather bracelets around his wrist.

“Hey,” Ichabod said with a broad grin as he opened the door. His gaze flickered over Kerr’s shoulder for a moment, worried for a second that Ben might have accompanied him, but his bright eyes were quickly fixed on his sire again. He reached out to grasp Kerr’s hand, pulling him in through the door and into a two armed bear hug.

“Fuck, this is stupid, it feels like months since I saw you,” he said with a chuckle, burying his face in the crook of Kerr’s neck.

Offline Existentially Odd

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Re: A Week\'s Too Long
« Reply #1 on: July 25, 2011, 11:24:16 AM »
Kerr was forced to drop the overnight bag he was carrying in order to return the hug, picking up his shorter fledgling so that he didn\'t have to bend down awkwardly and their lengths could be pressed together (even though Cub\'s feet only dangled a little).  He kicked the door closed behind him, laughing as well as he kissed whatever he could get to of Ichabod\'s face and walked them both towards the couch across the room.
 
"It\'s alright, I understand," he crooned to his younger progeny, squeezing him tightly.  It had been a week exactly since they\'d had physical contact, for Ichabod had been moved into the Capital on a Wednesday and Kerr hadn\'t had time to come around and see him during the week (though they\'d shared a few phone conversations and texts).  Firing the head of his spy division last Tuesday had put rather a dampener on his work schedule; he\'d created numerous spot fires that he felt he\'d been continuously putting out through the week, because of that decision, but he wasn\'t about to reverse it.
 
Technically, he\'d had time to come to see Ichabod the night before, but he\'d gone to the opera with Jenna instead, and Kerr had learned afterwards that Ben had been to visit him in his stead.  Kerr was still suffused with pride for Ben and his selflessness, hopeful that Ichabod would also soon see how much his blood brother was trying and come around to Ben\'s point of view.  He much preferred this heady feeling of love and joy for both his fledglings to the anxious frustration he\'d been experiencing when they were caged in the same penthouse.
 
He was hopeful that things were only going to get better and better for the three of them (though he had no solid idea of how that would manifest exactly, or whether it would simply be happiness and tranquility.  After his previous four hundred years with Sawyl and the twins, Kerr could definitely live the rest of his existence in tranquility).
 
Placing Ichabod back on the carpet before the couch, Kerr\'s hold loosened and he smiled indulgently down at his ex-lover, fingers linking in the small of his back.  "So.  How are you?" he murmured through his smile, gaze flitting over the boy before him to reaffirm that he was still in the right amount of pieces and proportions as always.  Kerr was wearing some faded blue jeans, sneakers and a navy blue T-shirt with a V neck; plain and casual in readiness for a relaxed night of training and bonding with his fledgling.

Offline pinkroses

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Re: A Week\'s Too Long
« Reply #2 on: July 26, 2011, 05:33:59 AM »
Ichabod laughed as Kerr lifted him up, and let his feet dangle rather than wrapping them around Kerr’s waist which was tempting. As Kerr released him Ichabod loosened the grip of his arms around Kerr’s neck, letting one hand rest on his sire’s shoulder whilst the other curled around the back of Kerr’s neck gently. All the things he’d wanted to say about Ben had flown from his head as he pressed lightly against Kerr.

“Better for seeing you,” Ichabod said, inwardly cringing at how cheesy it sounded coming out, but it didn’t really matter. Kerr knew how to pile on the cheese on occasions.

“All my books arrived the other night, pretty quick after I ordered them, might be a little dent in the credit card,” Ichabod said, bumping his hips forwards against Kerr’s playfully, knowing his sire wouldn’t mind Ichabod spending money on something he cared about. In fact, for Kerr it probably wouldn’t even seem like that much, but Ichabod had debated with himself for a while before placing the order.

“I started a couple of them last night,” tried to anyway until he showed up “and I’m starting the classes next week. They properly started last month, so I’ve got a bit to catch up on,” Ichabod rambled on as he dropped his hand from Kerr’s neck to grasp his hand and led him to the sofa and plopping himself down comfortably with a broad smile on his face as he spoke about his plans.

Offline Existentially Odd

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Re: A Week\'s Too Long
« Reply #3 on: July 26, 2011, 07:32:40 AM »
Kerr stood and idly toed off his sneakers as he listened to Ichabod speak, laughing as he was bumped and told about a loss of money he wouldn\'t even notice.  When they sat, he reached down and pulled off his socks too, dropping them in the vicinity of his shoes as he pulled his right leg up and tucked it beneath his left so that he could lean his arm on the back of the couch and face Ichabod slightly more squarely.  There was an approving smile on his face as his arm bent at the elbow and he leaned his forehead on his curled knuckles, watching his fledgling avidly.

"I\'m glad to hear everything\'s worked out so far then," Kerr murmured, slightly baffled by his fledglings\' mutual desire for intense study - in various fields, he assumed - that detracted from their freedom.  He knew it was, in all likelihood, his own jealousy at having barely any time for himself that prompted that feeling, though.  "What is it you\'re studying?  Will it give you a... degree at the end?" he queried awkwardly, unable to remember for the life of him what Ichabod had said he\'d been at college for in the first place, two and some years ago.  A lot had happened since then, admittedly.

Offline pinkroses

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Re: A Week\'s Too Long
« Reply #4 on: July 26, 2011, 04:22:50 PM »
“Literature, but there are other courses too, there’s a history course starting in a few months. And yeah, I’ll have a degree after, I think it’s six courses, but it depends on how many points the course is worth with the university, and I can choose other subjects if I want to, there’s loads of options. It’s going to take longer than it would have done, but I’ve got as long as it takes,” he explained with a grin, gesturing as he spoke and letting his hand to drop to rest on Kerr’s knee as he finished.

“I… I haven’t gone out yet, like you wanted, but I will sometime,” he said, glancing down shyly, although he really didn’t have any plans to go out like that. He’d only actually been out to feed once, the rest of the time he’d been drinking from the baggies in the fridge. He’d gone out alone to feed when he’d been living in the penthouse, but here it felt different. That had been close to the Chambers, if something had gone wrong and he’d needed Kerr, his sire could have been there quickly. If something went wrong here, he’d be on his own. And things still went wrong occasionally.

Offline Existentially Odd

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Re: A Week\'s Too Long
« Reply #5 on: July 26, 2011, 10:26:23 PM »
The sire frowned - not because he especially wanted Ichabod out and socialising, but because, after two years, he got the distinct impression that his fledgling was still paranoid about blood lust overtaking him, despite repeated reassurance and instruction.  A short mind sweep told him that his hunch was accurate.

It was obviously something Cub was going to have to come to terms with on his own, though Kerr appreciated him erring on the side of caution; it wouldn\'t be very good advertising for the Luminary\'s fledgling to be going about killing mortals.  He reached up and gently pinched his progeny\'s chin between his thumb and index finger, tilting his head so that they had eye contact.

"You need to feed properly, Cub.  Don\'t make me hover," he warned, smiling teasingly.  "Do you want to go out tonight?" he murmured indulgently, willing to go out and supervise him feed, even though he believed Ichabod should be capable of it himself.

Offline pinkroses

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Re: A Week\'s Too Long
« Reply #6 on: July 27, 2011, 07:07:05 AM »
Ichabod’s cheeks would have flushed as Kerr forced their eyes to meet, but he hadn’t drunk anything yet tonight and with only tonight to be with Kerr he didn’t want to break eye contact when he was being urged into it. He knew he should be more confident, that he’d fed plenty of times and not killed anyone, and his mental skills (what they were) hadn’t caused any lasting damage so far. But Ichabod had never been that confident with anything and when it was people’s lives on the line… telling someone to stop walking and having them stop breathing in addition was scary.

“That… would be good. If you don’t mind,” Ichabod said quietly. Feeding with his sire there would make it easier, make him be able to relax and let himself enjoy it a bit more. He hated that he needed someone there though, Kerr, Ben… Ben.

“I… can I just talk to you about something first?" he asked. Ben, we need to talk about Ben, coming here. Ichabod stood up and took himself out of Kerr\'s grasp, moving quickly to where he kept his keys, fiddling with them as he returned to the sofa.

"Ben... did he tell you he came here last night?"

Offline Existentially Odd

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Re: A Week\'s Too Long
« Reply #7 on: July 27, 2011, 07:39:23 AM »
"Of course," Kerr agreed, frowning because of the way Ichabod\'s manner had shifted when he asked if they could talk about something else before feeding.  His fledgling\'s sudden walking across the room also perplexed Kerr and his gaze was drawn to the keys, though he could see no connection with them and what was being said.

"Yes," he answered, the word dragged out somewhat as he was distracted by the keys and Ichabod\'s movements.

Offline pinkroses

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Re: A Week\'s Too Long
« Reply #8 on: July 27, 2011, 07:50:41 AM »
Ichabod eventually managed to get the key ring Ben had given him off the keys and he held out the small silver book to Kerr, his jaw set.

“Please can you give this back to Ben? And tell him I don’t want him coming here again. He won’t listen to me if I ask him,” Ichabod said, just about managing to keep his voice steady. Ben scared him. Even after all this time. Ben had said that even if Ichabod said he didn’t want to talk to him, he would keep showing up, and the idea of not being able to get ride of him, even if asked, it scared the younger fledgling more than he cared to admit outloud.

With his free hand Ichabod rubbed gently at the bridge of his nose, pursing his lips slightly.

“He’ll do what you say, won’t he?” he said quietly, hoping for a positive response.

Offline Existentially Odd

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Re: A Week\'s Too Long
« Reply #9 on: July 27, 2011, 10:19:29 AM »
Kerr blinked, his frown deepening as he instinctively reached out and took the keyring, holding it flat upon his palm as he inspected it and then looked up at Ichabod quizzically. "I imagine he would take my wishes under advisement, but I hardly order him around like a child," the Irishman mused, glancing at the keyring again as he digested his youngest fledgling\'s words, trying to work out what was going on.
 
It didn\'t make sense to him, for Ben had made the whole experience sound a positive thing. They hadn\'t discussed anything that happened in depth, for Kerr had been too overcome by the thought that Ben was making so much effort... he hadn\'t considered Ichabod\'s perspective but found it difficult to believe... well, what he was seeing, really.
 
Ichabod didn\'t seem very happy about it, yet Ben was trying; truly, honestly trying to make things better between them. Kerr\'s lips tightened momentarily as he saw that Cub was still not giving Ben the chance he deserved and though he\'d been right to harbour that feeling in the past, the sire didn\'t feel that was the case now. Not at all.
 
He reached for Ichabod\'s hand and placed the keyring back in it, looking directly at Ichabod. "If Ben gave you this, then he wants you to have it. I won\'t be throwing his gift back in his face in your stead, that\'s yours to own. Why don\'t you want him coming back here? He\'s trying to make friends with you, so that I\'m not constantly stuck in the middle of you two fighting!" Kerr admonished, feeling that perhaps Ben just hadn\'t explained things to Ichabod properly. Perhaps it was just a misunderstanding.

Offline pinkroses

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Re: A Week\'s Too Long
« Reply #10 on: July 27, 2011, 12:05:51 PM »
Ichabod dropped his hand onto the sofa between them, the silver book held in his open palm, his shoulders slumping as he realised Kerr wasn’t going to help him.

“But you’re the Luminary,” he protested quietly as Kerr said he wouldn’t order Ben not to come here. Ichabod didn’t want to fight with Ben, he just wanted to live in peace here since he wasn’t allowed to do it with his sire.

“I know he keeps saying he wants to be friends, and I let him in, we played on the game for ages and it was… it was nice. It was like having a brother. But he said if I didn’t want to try he would just keep coming back, he wouldn’t take no for an answer, and I never tried to tell him no anyway. And he said I could do whatever I wanted, order him around, he said I could have revenge, which I don’t want.”

Ichabod paused, lifting a hand to run through his hair in frustration, knowing what he was saying was just coming out in a jumble and he should slow down, but he wanted to get it out before Kerr started to tell him he was being a child. Ben probably described it all so perfectly, golden boy, couldn’t put a step wrong.

“And before he left he said that just playing games together wasn’t good enough. That he wanted to give me… empowerment and I had to think about what I wanted. But I just want us to be able to enjoy each other’s company. I don’t want to boss him around or anything. That’s not me,” Ichabod finished, running his thumb over the tiny words in the book.

He’d been so happy with the way the night had gone until Ben had said that. Ichabod had no idea what he was supposed to about it. Ben was just going to keep turning up every week and Kerr wouldn’t stop him and they would argue because playing games and just having fun wasn’t good enough. Nothing Ichabod did was going to be good enough.

Offline Existentially Odd

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Re: A Week\'s Too Long
« Reply #11 on: July 27, 2011, 01:22:46 PM »
Kerr\'s heart melted as he listend to Ichabod\'s protests, the scarring laid bare for him to see.  Quietly, he shifted their positions so that his tucked leg was then curled behind his fledgling and Ichabod was pulled into the lee of his thighs, his shoulder pressed to Kerr\'s chest and Kerr\'s arms wrapped around him.  "Ah, sweetheart," he murmured sadly, pressing his lips to Ichabod\'s temple as he gathered him close.
 
"You\'re getting hung up on the words.  The words don\'t matter, the actions do.  He\'s trying.  He\'s trying to make you feel you\'re his equal - that\'s the empowerment he wants to give you.  That you stop feeling like this and even if you don\'t boss him around, you at least feel valued enough to express an opinion.  He\'s showing you that you matter to him... that he knows how much I love you and he wants to care about you too... doesn\'t that count for something?" he soothed, his hands roving and patting at Cub, wanting to physically reassure him as much as he could.

Offline pinkroses

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Re: A Week\'s Too Long
« Reply #12 on: July 27, 2011, 03:39:48 PM »
Ichabod shut his eyes as Kerr’s pulled him closer trying to stop the tears which were pricking behind them from escaping. He didn’t want to look weak in front of Kerr, but it was too late for that. Kerr had rejected his request to stop Ben, so he might as well have just stayed quiet about it. Kerr would be able to feel how tense he was as he held him, but Ichabod didn’t try to pull away. His hand curled up around the book and he rested the loose fist against Kerr\'s chest as he spoke.

“But he does it so… it\'s completely patronising. Like he’s says that’s what he wants, but he’s still telling me how things have to happen. And I asked him not to come back, afterwards, after we’d hung out, I did give him a chance, but because he was being like that I asked, but he’s going to keep coming regardless. Doesn’t that matter?”

And here he was, expression an opinion, but to Kerr and Ben it was wrong, so Kerr would just let him keep coming. How the Hell was this supposed to be helping?

Offline Existentially Odd

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Re: A Week\'s Too Long
« Reply #13 on: July 27, 2011, 05:04:53 PM »
It wasn\'t that Kerr felt Ichabod\'s opinion didn\'t matter, he just felt that his taking back some power in his relationship with Ben was a greater reward than his fledgling was able to see right now.  There might be pain and awkwardness initially, but surely he could see the long term benefits?  They could live together again, for a start!

Patiently, Kerr stroked Ichabod\'s cheek with the back of his fingers.  "Well... how would you prefer things go between you and Ben?" he enquired calmly, wanting his fledgling to verbalise what he wanted from his life with his blood family.

Offline pinkroses

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Re: A Week\'s Too Long
« Reply #14 on: July 28, 2011, 08:29:12 AM »
Ichabod nuzzled his face gently against Kerr’s firm chest, wanting to be able to enjoy the soft touch of Kerr’s fingers, but he was too distracted at the minute.
 
“I don’t want him to come here uninvited. Not knowing when he’s going to just turn up… I don’t like that,” Ichabod said quietly. He’d let Ben in, given him a drink, been pretty welcoming he thought, but thinking that he might show up, and keep showing up… the anticipation was the worst bit.
 
“I don’t know how to make it work, I would have been happy enough to have him come and us just hang out, but he doesn’t want that,” he murmured.