All\'s Fair

[Trillian]

When Sebastian explained his earlier comment, establishing that he disliked how the artists had made him look, Jenna thought it sounded quite shallow.  She was surprised that someone of such great age would care about how he looked in paintings.  It was akin to someone complaining about how this or that photograph didn\'t make them look nice (but she knew of such photos that she\'d hidden away thanks to the same reason and didn\'t know how she\'d feel if they were displayed for the public to see unconditionally).

There it was again, that contradiction in her feelings for him.  She was attracted to him, but didn\'t want to be.  She thought him shallow, but explained it away to herself.  She\'d intended to sneak away without him knowing, but here she was.

When he spoke, he didn\'t tell her any age old wisdoms that she didn\'t already know or hear from others - other mortals - who\'d come to the same conclusions.  When he spoke about being sired, however, he won her interest, and she approached as his voice grew quieter; not because she couldn\'t hear him, because she could thanks to the echoing chamber-like quality of this tiled room, but because she was drawn to his history.

"Hardly," she said, catching the last comment only because it was said between her footfalls.  She wished absently that she was still barefoot, so that she wouldn\'t sound as though she were clopping around everywhere.  She was standing beside the painting (which she could hardly think of as a portrait), but looking at Sebastian proper.  She hadn\'t realised the painting was so large until she was standing by it, for it towered over her head.  "Did you stay with her a long time?" she asked, wondering at the sire/fledgling relationship and wanting to hear another\'s perspective about it.

[pinkroses]

“About five hundred years,” Seb replied softly, his gaze shifting from the painting to the beautiful woman standing before it. Given the choice he knew which he would choose to gaze on, vain as he might be. And watching her gave him something to focus on other than Irene. He couldn’t decide how he felt about talking about her - it hurt, thinking about her, mentioning her, imagining her touch, but he didn’t want to let the memories fade either.

“Then we parted, but we met up with one another every couple of years. In the most unlikely of places, it’s as though we were drawn to one another inexplicably. We never argued - although she would reprimand me over the tiniest things - buying things which were too expensive, giving away things which were worth too much, not being sociable enough, then spending too much time with mortals. Always trying to help me. My angel.”

He didn’t know if he would ever be able to do that, to want to take care of one person so fully. To make then a part of you and always be there for them, to guide them and teach them. Seb could heal physically, and he did what he could to help those who needed it spiritually, but he always left after that, he never went back to see how they had fared.

[Trillian]

Speaking about his sire like that made Jenna think of Kerr and his love for his fledgling, Ben.  It was the kind of love that had rallied Kerr towards Ben, and away from her, and it was the same kind of devoted love that she could hear in Sebastian\'s voice for his sire.  It wasn\'t the kind of thing Jenna wanted to dabble in, either.  Not again.  She\'d had her heart broken before (and it was still wasn\'t quite mended) and she wasn\'t about to throw herself at someone like Sebastian who obviously had a woman out there for him.

Folding her arms across her chest now as she looked at him, she tilted her head and tried to keep her voice light and airy even though her words were not.

"Even more reason not to be kissing me, with her out there," she said, expecting that he would tell her that his relationship with his sire was open and that it didn\'t stop him from bedding other women.  She wasn\'t going to be one of those women, however.

[pinkroses]

Seb glanced at her with a look of genuine surprise. Was she serious? He’d just told her he’d only seen his sire every few years, did she truly believe they should both abstain completely during those years apart? It had been decades at times. And even then, when they were together, they had rarely had sex. They would usually spend hours curled up together catching up on what had happened. She had been his best friend more than a lover.

“She’s dead,” Seb said in a soft voice, standing up again, feeling fidgety as he talked about it. “And you and Kerr are no longer lovers, or am I wrong about that?” he added, turning the questioning around on her.

[Trillian]

When he spoke of his sire\'s death, she felt terribly sorry and also incredibly inept.  She licked her lips, wanting to give him her condolences, but then he said something that shocked her so completely that she\'d forgotten she\'d meant to comfort him.  Her folded arms dropped to her sides as she frowned at him, her lips parting a little - a very delicate version of a gape, but those who knew her would know that she\'d been unsettled.

Kerr had chosen to discuss that?  With a vampire he\'d only just met?  As far as she knew, Kerr and Sebastian hadn\'t met after their chat while Kerr had been waiting for her.  Good Lord, had Sebastian inquired after her when he\'d seen her rapidly checking in on them?  And Kerr had told him that they were no longer lovers...

Learning such a thing hurt her heart.  It was true, and not sensible in the slightest, but still that hurt remained.  It made her want to lash out.

"You\'re not wrong.  Were you hoping to take his place?" she accused, and even though her tone wasn\'t cold, it certainly wasn\'t inviting, either.

[pinkroses]

“No, it wouldn\'t be taking his place. I would be very different,” Seb said, resisting the urge to move closer to her because she would probably take it as some sort of insult. “I wouldn’t have a fledgling waiting for me at home after our every meeting and another in the city to take my interest whenever he may." He didn’t even have Lucy showing up at his house any more, she now had no idea he existed.

“I have no one else at all. And perhaps I was a little over enthusiastic with you because of that."

[Trillian]

She glared darkly at Sebastian when he spoke ill of Kerr, no matter how indirectly or truthfully.  His arrogance was astounding. If he didn\'t make her feel the way he did, she thought it unlikely that she would be here listening to him telling her how much of a better option than Kerr he was.

Her eyebrows rose with incredulity at his next words.  That was over enthusiasm was it? Forcing himself on a woman? In the back of her mind she wondered if she was swinging to the other extreme, from adoring him without good reason to despising him without good reason.  She thought it best not to comment on his explanations and focussed on the implications.

"It sounds like you\'ve already made my mind up," she said airily - a tone she\'d adopted from Kerr, "but I see a flaw in your plan.  No matter how I feel about you physically," and here she blushed again, even as she continued speaking, "I still have standards that have nothing to do with looks.  You see, I only have relations with men I love, and I only fall in love with gentlemen."

Somewhere in there, she\'d dropped her light and airy tone (because it didn\'t belong to her) and adapted a schoolmarmish one that made her feel insular and frigid.  The blush remained, and in her head she could hear herself giving an order to walk away.  It was repeated three times in her head before she thought well enough to follow it, but by that time she couldn\'t because he was speaking.

[pinkroses]

Seb raised an eyebrow at her reaction, she was so... closed minded, stuck up, but still intoxicating. But he still wanted her and did more with every dismissal.

"You\'ve only fallen in love with gentlemen previously," Seb corrected in a way he knew would probably annoy her even more, hooking his thumbs into his jeans pockets. "And it\'s obvious you weren\'t around when the term \'gentleman\' was coined. Like those men I am, or was at least, only human. Unlike you, Jenna. You are something else, hiding away. Will you enlighten me or do I have to work it out myself?" He\'d known with the first catch of her scent that she wasn\'t pure human, but hadn\'t tried to pin down what she was exactly yet.

[Trillian]

He was right to think his words annoyed her, but only because she could find no argument.  It was true; she\'d only fallen in love with men who treated her like a lady instead of a prize, and she really couldn\'t see herself falling for any other type - but she was aware enough that matters of the heart couldn\'t be controlled.  Love was a long, long way from lust, however, and that was all Sebastian had going for him.

So far, her mind countered, and she mentally hushed herself.

When he told her he knew she wasn\'t human, she pursed her lips, annoyed that he could also detect the scent of her, the way Kerr had described.  For a moment she considered not telling him, but decided that not doing so would be petty and childish.  He\'d asked her a direct question, and she had no reason to withhold her heritage.

"My great grandmother was a fire demon, on my father\'s side," she said, but didn\'t show him her talent the way she\'d demonstrated it to Kerr.  She waited for him to reply, grieving a little for her loss of mystery.  She admonished herself for remaining a silly little girl because he looked nice.

[pinkroses]

Seb’s smile returned properly as she told him of her bloodline and a gleam of delight could be seen in his eyes.

“Part fire demon? That’s fascinating. Truly. You must have some magnificent skills, not like a full blood, of course, but still, so much more than just a human. Jenna, I knew you were special from the moment I laid eyes on you.” he said, the excitement in his voice turning into a softer, more soothing tone with the last words.

She was special, more than she knew - but she wouldn’t believe anything he had to say any more, she’d just think he was simply trying to get her into bed. But it wasn’t that. Yes, he wanted her, more than he could say, she was gorgeous, sexy, enticing, but he could be happy just being near her.

“I know you have no reason to do so, but would you ever consider giving me a second chance? To show you I can be more than you think I can be? More than meets the eye, just like you?” he asked with a polite bow of his head and gesturing towards her slightly. Perhaps she would say no, but he felt like he should ask. If she said no, he could give her some space, he had time.

[Trillian]

She found herself unable to settle on the best reaction to his flattery.  She felt complimented, yet also exasperated that she was so \'delightful\' because of a bloodline she had no control over.  She knew she was being harder on Sebastian than she\'d been on Kerr, who\'d also been drawn to her because of her heritage, thanks to her \'summery sunshine smells\', as he\'d so described.  He made it sound so pretty, while Sebastian made it feel like she was something worthy of collecting.  She decided to accept his compliment with grace, and gave him a tiny smile at the end of his statement, for just because Kerr had a gilded tongue, she had no reason to believe that Sebastian\'s sentiment wasn\'t just the same.  She knew she had a rose-coloured view of Kerr, but he\'d earned it, damnit!

When Sebastian asked her for a second chance, she wasn\'t very much surprised.  She\'d been expecting this, in fact.  It was the reason her feet had brought her here, likely.  She was quiet for a moment, thinking about the best way to both allow Sebastian his chance while also keeping him at arm\'s length for the time being.

"There\'s a book signing at the Metropolitan Library in a couple of nights time, after a presentation by a local author," she said, feeling it best to give the background first.  "We can meet there, if you like, and perhaps visit the gardens afterward.  It\'s been a while since I\'ve seen them," she said, musing half to herself before focussing on Sebastian before her.  "It begins at seven," she told him, and without waiting for him to reply, turned on her heel and walked away.

She wondered if he would talk to her retreating form, disallowing her the exit she wished to make, or if he could hold his tongue and give her the final word.  She didn\'t want to talk to him after he\'d received permission from her for a second chance.  Meeting at the library gave her some of the control, for it couldn\'t be called a date so much as \'meeting up\', and the setting was far from romantic.

Still, as she walked, clopping ridiculously on the stone floor and thinking she would buy shoes with heels that weren\'t quite so loud, her heartrate sped along as though she\'d just been asked to the prom by a cute boy.

[pinkroses]

Seb gave a small nod at her instructions, as was content to say nothing as she made it obvious she wanted no further discussion on the matter. There was no way she was going to make this easy on him, but she was giving him a chance and had obviously planned to all along with the speed at which she’d come out with that plan.

All in all, the evening could have gone much worse - granted, it could have been a hundred times better too if she wasn’t quite so uptight or giving completely the opposite signals to those she meant to give - but it could definitely have been worse.

Once she had made her exit, with Seb watching her all the way, he turned to leave through a different route, not wanting her to feel awkward about him following her as he made it way back into the city beyond.