Second Time Around

[Malkavian Riddler]

Ash stared at Kerr for a long moment.  Too long, perhaps, considering the question posed to him.

He and Isaac were together, though theirs wasn\'t the smoothest relationship around.  He\'d never wanted to be sired into vampirism, especially not at the cost of his movie career, and the blame had landed squarely onto his sire\'s shoulders.  He was tied eternally to Isaac now, regardless of whether he wanted to be or not, and it had got too much for him to handle.

"I came to this city to get some space," he pointed out, indicating that \'some space\' meant a separation of a kind, "but he said he\'d come after me if I took too long coming back."

He fidgeted on the sofa, uncomfortable with the honesty of this declaration.

[Existentially Odd]

To say that Kerr was surprised to hear even an insinuation that Ash was part of a permanent couple would have been a grave understatement.  He tried to keep his features schooled into a pleasant mask, but his shock likely registered in some form or other.

"So... he\'s coming to get you and take you back to L.A.?  And... he will have expected that you\'ve been faithful to him this whole time?" the Irishman enquired liltingly, trying to keep his voice light.  It wasn\'t his business, of course, but he was suddenly intensely curious about Ash and his sire\'s relationship - given what he and Ben were embarking upon.

[Malkavian Riddler]

The idea of Isaac thinking Ash would be faithful to him was so laughable that Ash couldn\'t help but laugh.

"No, no way," he said, only after the laughter died down, not that it lasted very long.  "Sexual commitment was never a promise I made to him.  He\'s had boys in his bed since going out with me," he pointed out, wanting to justify himself even though it was a hollow truth. Isaac hadn\'t slept with anyone since committing to him, but the knowledge of discovering he had while he\'d been courting Ash was enough to sour the younger vampire.  The commitment had been unintentional, also, he knew - it had come hand in hand with his siring.  "He knows," Ash said again while looking at his feet, confirming it to himself more than to Kerr, which was likely to give away the fact he wasn\'t entirely honest to himself about the relationship with Isaac was at.

He glanced up at Kerr and saw the expression there.

"Ah, fuck it.  It\'s twisted, okay?" he admitted, sinking back into the couch and slouching there, eyeballing Kerr for his tiniest reaction.  "It\'s like an arranged fucking marriage.  I never agreed to be a vampire, he just made me one, and now he\'s like a cross between being my lover and my fucking father."

He had never told anyone this, but he thought Kerr would understand.  He was counting on it, in fact.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr frowned as he tilted his head, regarding Ash with yet more surprise.  "I didn\'t realise you\'d been sired unwillingly, you\'ve always seemed so... flippant about the whole thing, I guess."

There was no question but it was a deliberately leading statement, his tone of voice and mannerisms encouraging Ash to explain his point of view on the matter.  He\'d never really asked Ash about his origins, he\'d always assumed he\'d been sired to maintain his movie-star good looks and that he was biding his time before he could go back into the industry again (as a descendant of himself, no doubt).

The fact that they shared an unwilling siring pleased Kerr and made him feel that little bit more connected to his friend, for they had that in common.

[Malkavian Riddler]

Ash cocked an eyebrow as Kerr called him flippant.  He\'d been called worse, he supposed, but he wasn\'t sure he liked the description.  Had he been flippant?  He would\'ve preferred \'mysterious\' or \'stoic\'.

When Kerr stopped talking and was watching him expectantly, he figured that the other vampire wanted to hear more, but he wasn\'t really in the mood to give more.

"Ah well, you can ask Isaac all about it when you meet him, brother," he said, reaching over to clap Kerr on the back.  "Did you need me to get lost?" he asked, not forgetting that Ichabod was still in the bedroom.  He was leaning forward now, elbows on knees and his hands dangling between them, looking sideways at his friend.

[Existentially Odd]

Although his thoughts were full of Ash just then, Kerr eventually summoned a smile and gave an apologetic shrug, accompanied by a wobbly nod.  "Yeah," he admitted, uncertain whether he was relieved or disappointed by the prospect.  A bit of both, really.

"Wednesdays are for Cub, so I really shouldn\'t be neglecting him - as good as it is to see you again.  But you\'ll come visit me at the Chambers soon, right?  I\'ll call you, to be sure you do and I\'ve got a clear schedule," he promised, standing up in anticipation of his friend doing the same, but waiting until Ash moved before he went anywhere.

[Malkavian Riddler]

Ash followed suit, as Kerr expected, but went the extra step of throwing his arms around Kerr and giving him an amicable squeeze.

"Soon," he insisted, adding to Kerr\'s promise, and lingered in the hug a while before pulling away with an arrogant smile.

He was on his way out, across the room and heading for the door when he yelled out a goodbye to Ichabod and left as abruptly as he\'d entered.  It was the quickest exit Ash had ever made.

[pinkroses]

As Kerr had settled down so had his fledgling and Ichabod was soon curled up comfortably on the bed with a book, scribbling notes in the margins for his next class. It felt relaxing having something to work towards, like he wasn’t just wallowing and waiting for something to happen. Like waiting for Ash to leave so that he could get to being with his sire for the hsort amount of time they were allowed.

He tore his gaze away from the book as he heard Ash’s goodbye and didn’t even have time to respond before he heard the door slam shut. To be honest he was a little surprised Ash hadn’t properly come to say goodbye, but then he had come to see Kerr, not him.

Ichabod pushed himself upright and tossed the book onto his nightstand as he shuffled off the bed, heading towards the living room to find the Irishman. He wanted to ask what had happened, what had been that sudden mood change, but it wasn’t his business and didn’t want to just pry.

“You guys ok then?” he asked when he found Kerr, either in the living room or on the way to it if Kerr was coming to find him.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr met Ichabod in the bedroom doorway, for he\'d wasted no time seeing Ash to the door or lingering where his fledgling wasn\'t.  He gave a noncommittal shrug and a noise that resembled, "Meh," as he leaned forward and wrapped his arms about Cub\'s waist, kissing him perfunctorily.

"We\'ll be fine," he tried to dismiss the question, not really wanting to go into an explanation that would dredge up the negative feelings that still weren\'t too far from the surface.  Ash didn\'t approve of Ben and that... hurt.  That was the problem.

There was yet another pairing of important people in his life that he couldn\'t spend time with together; God knew what he\'d do when Ash came to visit his home.  Would it be better to have Ben there to address things openly, so Ash could sight the changes, or just... ignore it and play nice?  Apparently Ash\'s sire would be visiting soon to add to the mix of confusion, but Kerr was looking forward to that.  He might learn even more about his handsome friend and ex-lover.

"I didn\'t mean to worry you," he murmured, nuzzling his face against Ichabod\'s hairline as he made a show of playfully walking him back towards the bed, still hugging him close.  He was getting good at dissecting himself, sectioning off the bits he needed with any given person and knowing that he\'d have to do it again in future wasn\'t helpful.  It was Cub\'s time, his night.  He had to concentrate on that.  "So where were we?"

[pinkroses]

Ichabod let Kerr walk him backwards a few steps, wanting to just wrap his arms around his sire, meeting his kiss properly and melt in his arms, like the shift towards the bed reminded him of, with their bodies pressing together so enticingly. But instead he lifted a hand to rest against Kerr’s chest, his fingers curling around the soft material of Kerr’s t-shirt.

“Y’know… I know I’ve caused problems for you, so many times. But I want to help and I’m your family and I love you so… if you want to vent, or talk things through I’m here. Or if you want distracting… we can get back to talking about how wonderful I am at telling people what to do mentally,” he said with a cheeky grin, although he hoped Kerr would get his point. He didn’t just want to be a problem, something Kerr had to work around, work to keep happy. He wanted Kerr to be happy too and wished desperately there was something he could do to make that so, because it felt like all he did was fuck things up. But if Kerr didn’t want to talk about it, well, then Ichabod wouldn’t push it.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr pulled back and smiled at Ichabod, appreciating the gesture and enjoying the love welling in him.  "Okay," he smiled.