Moving Forward

[Existentially Odd]

Thursday night broke cold and rainy, thunder rumbling and lightning streaking through the dark sky outside.  Kerr spent quite a bit longer snuggling in bed with Ichabod than he\'d anticipated he would, just because the weather was so good for it.  Saying goodbye to his youngest fledgling was difficult and they spent almost an hour at the door of the apartment kissing and hugging.
 
When he finally managed to peel himself off Cub, he drove back to the Chambers in a state of melancholy, sad to be leaving his one, happy to be returning to his only.  Well, his \'only\'... for the time being.  It was when he was travelling up in the lift, lamenting his loves and losses for the umpteenth time, that he realised his emotions were likely being unnecessarily intensified by the fact that he was thirsty.  He wasn\'t sure when the last time he\'d drunk was, now that he gave it some thought; no wonder he was intent on baying at the moon.
 
Still carrying his overnight bag, he got off at the library level, knowing Ben was in there.  He passed Sam on his way in and returned the handsome southerner\'s smile before wending his way over to Ben.  "Is this seat taken?" he joked, his voice warm with love and excessive affection in his needy state.  He placed one hand on the back of his love\'s chair and one on the table before him, then leaned down and gave Ben a lingering kiss, ignoring the spare chair completely.  He pulled back, in order to make eye contact with his beloved and smile at him.  "Missed you, did you have a good night?" he queried.

[Trillian]

Ben had taken advantage of the rainy night also, to snuggle himself into a nest of cushions and watch some television.  He\'d flipped through channels and settled on a travel documentary.  By the end of it, he found he really wanted to visit Austria and gather some experiences and sights for himself.  Throwing a couple of the cushions aside and not wanting to put them back into the storage cupboard that he\'d pulled them all out of, he\'d padded downstairs to the library in order to look up information about Austria and any supernatural sights or history it might have.  A country with such a rich, old culture was bound to have some stories to interest him.  He hadn\'t bothered putting on shoes, and was wearing khaki cargo shorts and a light blue ratty polo shirt that was comfortable though starting to need replacement.  He often hid it where Kerr wouldn\'t find it to throw away.

Upon entering the library he\'d signed in then gone immediately to the European section, not having to look up where it was because he knew this library by heart.  When climbing the stairs to get to the upper level, he\'d found Sam up there and the pair of them exchanged territorial glares before Ben searched for and found a couple of books that suited his interests and went back downstairs with them to read them at the desks with the comfier chairs.  It was a place that he was usually at, and more his territory than the upper levels.  Sam remained upstairs, and when he finally left Ben didn\'t bother looking up from his reading.

He was consumed with a tale he\'d just found about two (suspected vampire) brothers who\'d had a position of nobility in the early 1800s in a small well-known town called Baden.  Their tale was one Ben followed closely and though he was aware Kerr had entered the building, he\'d still been surprised to find his sire was in the library and grinned into the kiss as part of his hello smile before it gave way in order to kiss Kerr intimately.

"Yeh!" Ben said excitedly with a brief nod. "I want to visit Austria."

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr, slightly taken aback, chuckled and quirked an eyebrow at his fledgling.  "Tonight?" he grinned.

[Trillian]

Ben gave him an admonishing grin and felt obliged to return the question, even though he could guess how it had gone by the way Kerr smelled.

"How was your visit?"

[Existentially Odd]

"Hmm... interesting.  Ichabod\'s not as keen as you thought, as it turns out," he sighed as he pulled the chair beside Ben out and sat down in it, an elbow on one arm and the other on the desk, his hands linked in the space before him.  He gave a shrug, showing that he wasn\'t too fazed by this fact - or that he\'d come to terms with it overnight.
 
"He wouldn\'t feel comfortable being with you and I can respect that.  I told him it\'s fine.  We don\'t need it.  Are you alright with that?" he asked, tilting his head forward slightly and looking up at Ben from beneath his brows.  He worried that Ben\'s attempts at making amends going awry would upset him and he hoped that his offhanded delivery in such a public place wouldn\'t turn out to be a mistake.

[Trillian]

Ben was surprised to find that Kerr\'s prompting hadn\'t swayed Ichabod into accepting.  He\'d believed that his fledge brother would do anything Kerr suggested.  Guess not.

"It doesn\'t bother me," he replied with a confused smile at Kerr, wondering why his sire would worry about how he felt.  He\'d suggested it, thinking it would make things better, but if Ichabod was that against it, then he\'d assumed wrong.  Why would Kerr think he wanted such a thing for himself?  It had been for Ichabod.

Hadn\'t it?

"Did you want to do something then?  Go out?" he asked, even though the weather didn\'t permit a lot of the more casual outings such as walks in the park.  "I\'m sure there\'s some kind of event on, somewhere," he said, explaining the kind of \'going out\' that he meant.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr smiled indulgently at Ben, finding his pleasure in his lover\'s easy acceptance uncharacteristically intense but understanding it.  "Absolutely!" he agreed enthusiastically, then pulled an awkward face.
 
"I need a drink and a shower first, though - I\'m all moody because I haven\'t drunk anything in nights and it\'s got me all... " he trailed off, lifting a hand to either side of his head and describing the screwing motion of a man simultaneously juicing two oranges on his temples - it was an apt way of showing how screwy his moods were, due to is lack of sustenance.

[Trillian]

The mention of Kerr\'s needing a drink brought a light of realisation to Ben\'s face, for even though he and Kerr had spent only a minute together tonight so far and such a thing hadn\'t been overly obvious on the outside, the intensity had been thrumming through their bloodline.

Ben nodded, to indicate his agreement, with a cheeky smile.

"Do you want me to bring a bottle up?" he offered, as the kitchens were on a floor above them and he could make a quick stop.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr made a considering type noise as he got up, a plan for the night forming in his mind that didn\'t involve the two of them sitting in these library chairs any longer. A bottle of blood sounded good, for he was overly parched due to not thinking much about it and being kept busy with all the people in his life.
 
His erratic mind leapt to another conclusion as he tucked his chair in and straightened up and it gave him pause. He cocked his head and looked at Ben with a frown that showed he was considering something unusual. "Well, that or I could just stop off at Cain\'s room on the way up - just a quick call to see if he\'s in and then... drink and meet you at home for a shower?" he offered.
 
Tingles went through him as he contemplated seeing the mortal in his needy state but if he had the excuse of going out with Ben dangling over his head, he thought he would be far more comfortable with just drinking from Cain and breaking the ice, so to speak. Then perhaps he wouldn\'t think about him quite so often. He still wasn\'t too certain he\'d ever do anything with the boy but knowing Ben was waiting for him to go out would certainly help keep him on the straight and narrow.

[Trillian]

Ben stared at Kerr for a moment when this suggestion was made, his features schooled into non-expression, hiding his surprise.  Of course he remembered the offer he\'d made to Kerr about Cain; he\'d given permission for his sire to explore his attraction to the mortal, to take advantage of someone so willing to please, to not worry about any obligations he had to Ben because it was sex and not love (and the reason he denied Kerr dalliance with Jenna or Ichabod).  Since Kerr hadn\'t gone to Cain in the first two nights, Ben had thought the desire had lessened, and when a number of weeks passed and no more mention had been made on the subject (other than with Ichabod), Ben had thought Kerr had made a decision not to go to Cain and Ben had summarily put the mortal out of his mind.

Obviously Kerr hadn\'t.

"That would give me a chance to look up any events," he said, as though the convenience of Kerr stopping to dally with Cain was a great idea.  Oddly, Ben didn\'t know why he\'d suddenly felt defensive enough to mask his emotions.  He didn\'t feel jealous or angry, so why behave so self-consciously?  "See you then," he said, careful not to say \'see you soon\', in case Kerr indulged.

[Existentially Odd]

There was a sudden... distance between them and Kerr felt Ben\'s blood presence (for that was how he thought of their melded spirits) withdraw when he mentioned Cain.  It left him feeling bereft, that he was no longer being subconsciously coddled by his lover, even though he knew he was being ridiculous.
 
"I won\'t be long," he promised, meaning every word.  "Oh, and could you take my bag up?  I don\'t want to... " he trailed off again, making more hand gestures that vaguely described how awkward it would look for him to turn up on Cain\'s doorstep holding an overnight bag.  Ben watched him for a moment and then nodded, so he turned and walked away.
 
Once he was in the lift and heading for the twelfth floor, the nerves began to set in.  He was dressed casually in jeans, sneakers and a plain green polo shirt and he hoped that that was how all this would come off.  Casually.  Meaning he\'d be able to walk to Cain\'s door
 
without being seen by anyone
 
and be invited in like it wasn\'t a big deal.  After a bit of friendly chit chat, he could drink, thank Cain and go - he didn\'t even think they\'d have to sit down, the planned exchange was going to be so casual.  In his head, it sounded just that easy.
 
Unfortunately for him, there were two mortals - both young women - waiting for the lift to arrive when he got there and they gave him bright smiles, greeting him enthusiastically when he stepped out of the lift.  He mumbled and stumbled awkwardly through a greeting that should have been routine, feeling like they were watching him and judging him, even as they swapped places with him in the lift and headed downward with a wave.
 
Thankfully there was no one else in the corridor but he didn\'t waste any time now; he strode to Cain\'s door - the thirteenth, he was pretty sure (like he hadn\'t checked it and looked it up at least ten times in the last few weeks) - in long, enthusiastic strides and rapped sharply on it before he lost his nerve and snuck off somewhere else.

[Malkavian Riddler]

Cain had been playing a video game on his own, dressed only in blue sleep shorts and laying across the rug on his stomach, pressing buttons and tilting the controller with enthusiasm as he stared at the television screen.  When the knock on the door sounded, he immediately hit pause and got to his feet in order to see who his visitor was.  Not many people came to his door, he found, so it was interesting to see who had.  Vampires almost never did - he\'d be summoned by vampiric aides or chauffeurs, or visiting guests.  He\'d almost always be ushered to their room - sometimes he would be told over the phone which room on which floor he had to find.  It would always give him a bit of thrill when being summoned, because it would always end with a drink and sometimes with more.  He\'d been expecting Kerr since Ben\'s visit quite some time ago, and had been waiting to be summoned to the Luminary\'s quarters, but such a summons never came.  He played the part of a good little donor though, and ignored the others who jeered at him or played their two-faced games.  He wasn\'t here to make mortal friends, though he had made some regardless.  Not all of them were assholes.

When he opened the door and saw Kerr though, he was pleased at how well things had turned out.  He was mostly naked already, and Kerr looked sexy and ruffled.

"Hi!" he greeted eagerly, opening the door wider and stepping back in case Kerr wanted to come in, but not retreating too far in case he wanted to invite Cain to his penthouse instead.  "I\'m glad to see you," he said, finally, his mind finished.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr had shoved his hands into the front pockets of his jeans while he waited for Cain to answer his knock, aware of the mortal getting closer to him in a deliriously excited sort of way.  When he opened the door and was barely clothed, something clogged up Kerr\'s throat and he couldn\'t immediately speak past the lump.  His gaze drifted, his body responding as he looked at Cain\'s broad, muscular form and he felt a pull towards it.
 
Following that instinct, he stepped into Cain\'s room, his body inches from the pulsing, bare-chested one before him and reached over to pull the door out of Cain\'s grasp and close it with one hand, not looking away from mis-matched blue eyes in order to do so.  The door slammed a little harder than it should have, demonstrating the war going on inside of him for control over his baser emotions, but he didn\'t apologise for it.  He swallowed grimly, so that he could speak.
 
"I need to drink.  Are you... available?" he asked thickly, finding the eye contact intense and erotic, even though that didn\'t make sense.  How could simply looking at someone\'s eyes be arousing?  Was it because he knew how little clothing separated he and Cain?  It was boggling and heady, but it also meant he couldn\'t drag his gaze away, not even to look at the body he\'d fantasised quite ardently about for the past couple of years.

[Malkavian Riddler]

"You\'re the reason I\'m here," Cain said, nodding.  Of course he was available.  He\'d always checked, after every visit he had with another vampire, to see if Kerr had come for him.  He never had, and it was a running joke with the other donors.  Too bad.  Kerr was here now, that was all that mattered.  He was extremely attracted to Kerr, and he sensed that the vampire felt the same way about him.  He didn\'t have to be a vampire to feel the spark that ignited between them when they made eye-contact.  "Sofa or bed?" he asked, liking the way Kerr had taken charge and slammed the door shut, being confident and dominating and sexy, like vampires should.  He was the package, alright.

Cain\'s heart was skipping along merrily, and he thought his lips might be dry because of the way his breathing had become a little more quick and heavy, so he licked them, trying not to be too wanton but unable to resist sending a sexual message with his tongue.  There was no point not carrying through with such a promise, and before Kerr answered his question, Cain stepped forward and sank to his knees, reaching up for Kerr\'s belt.

[Existentially Odd]

Startled, Kerr grabbed Cain\'s hands in both of his, imprisoning them before they could touch his clothing. He then hauled Cain to his feet as if he weighed nothing at all and swung him bodily around, shoving him against the nearest wall (again, a little harder than intended, for he was lusting badly for the blood thrumming in this boy\'s veins and his judgment was more than a little skewed).
 
"Here is fine," he growled, not allowing Cain a chance to seduce him or service him or whatever he was trying to do. So far, Kerr had a fairly strong recollection that Ben was waiting for him and he was afraid to let that go; Cain was a whirlpool and Kerr could easily get swept into him and allow him to drown out all of his other obligations.
 
Pullng the mortal\'s hands apart and holding them down by their sides, he pressed his body against Cain\'s, pinning him to the wall and nuzzling his throat. He wasn\'t much for preamble right now; he was too thirsty. He bit after a few kisses and began drinking immediately. He shuddered as the first mouthful splashed into him, washing over the beast inside him and causing it to stir and thrash, wanting more. He growled as he drank, unaware that his grip on Cain\'s hands had loosened and moved to the mortal\'s hips to hold him in place.