Personal Stakes

[Existentially Odd]

(Continued from 'High Stakes')

It was awkward.  Very, very awkward - much worse than he'd anticipated it being when he'd blithely offered to bring Gene to the Chambers to discuss the matter of his head spell and classification as a pet half an hour or so ago.  He hadn't even managed to bring up the fact that he was sort of seeing someone yet, either!  Everything had seemed so simple out on the street outside the pool hall; walk to his home and place of business, see if he and Gene could get an appointment with Jake McCloud and just... get everything sorted out.  Easy.

Except it wasn't.  Jake wasn't there, for a start and of course Vomas had welcomed him into his office without an appointment but then there was the little matter of the mortal standing quietly beside him and having to introduce the two of them - his lover (and probably-more-than-that) and the guy he'd put some moves on and had more than a few less-than-innocent designs on.  Awkward.  Thankfully, neither particularly knew who the other was, how he'd wedged himself between them nor how he had dirty thoughts about one or both of them most hours of every night since meeting Gene. Awkward!  And then had come the true gem of it all - they'd sat down all civil-like, he'd opened his mouth to attempt to explain why they were there and he'd been so uptight he'd barely been able to stammer out, "G-Gene w-was w-w-w-wondering," before he about imploded.

It was fucking AWKWARD.

Since both the mortal beside him and his boss were looking rather expectanty at him after he hurriedly fell silent, however, he had no choice but to forge ahead.  Be the glue to bind these two together and get some resolution for Gene.  Oh, and hope that Vomas really didn't dwell on the fact that it had been his concern for Gene (and labelling of him as a 'friend') that had originally started the two of them sleeping together.  He'd have to converse mentally and do his best to keep his nerves in check, though Vomas would definitely know something was up in this way.  Sam trusted him to be professional enough to hold back any questions his odd behaviour aroused until Gene was gone, though.

Uh, Gene here was wondering if there was anything we could do about the spell in his head and also if he was still registered as Orias' pet.  Because he doesn't want to be listed like that any longer.  They broke up and now he's no-one's pet, see.

He ran a nervous hand through his hair, causing it to stand up a little haphazardly, but then he purposely folded his hands into his lap and did his best to look unblinkingly at Vomas while he waited for a response.  He didn't dare look in Gene's direction (sitting in the seat to his left) nor tell him mentally that he was speaking to Vomas in the same way, even though the mortal likely noticed the silence stretching awkwardly (HA!) and would wonder what was going on.

[Saccharin]

Vomas stared at Sam, wondering what had caused him to stutter. He'd known the other vampire long enough to understand that it only ever occurred when he was nervous or overwhelmed, and he couldn't help but to think he had something to do with it. He had, after all, recently shifted their relationship from a friends-with-benefits type arrangement to... something more by sharing kisses with Sam (something he'd pointedly avoided before then, not wanting to blur the lines they'd drawn), and even stayed the day with him because they'd been returned so enthusiastically. Perhaps he'd moved too quickly, overstepped some boundary that was still there.

Whatever the case, he knew it wouldn't be appropriate to bring up his concerns while they had business remaining. Sam had been right: he'd maintain decorum.

Vomas sat up, crossing his legs at the ankles, and then leaned forward to lightly rest his elbows on his great mahogany desk. He clasped his hands together, holding them up in such a way that allowed him to rest his chin against one of his thumbs and his lips against the pointer finger on the same hand.

I see, he responded mentally, and was about to mention a possible plan of action when the human spoke up, likely because neither of them had said anything since Sam's failed attempt to talk moments earlier.

"I was wondering if this spell thing Sam says is in my head can be gotten rid of and..." Vomas' attention shifted to Gene and the human's words faltered, but he began speaking again after swallowing and clearing his throat. "Uh... My ex, he had me listed as a pet, and well, I'd like that taken off my record, if it's not too much trouble."

He was taken by the slow, measured way Gene spoke. Rather than thinking him unintelligent, though, he quite aptly categorized him as someone who thought about what he said before saying it. Vomas appreciated that. There were already far too many people in the modern world who spoke needlessly.

"First, I'll take a look at this spell," he said, lowering his hands. "Then strike your status of pet from the record."

"I'd really appreciate it." Gene smiled widely, causing his cheeks to dimple and laugh lines to appear at the corners of his eyes.

Delaying no further, Vomas dove into Gene's consciousness. But as he began weaving himself through the human's mind, something peculiar happened. Calmness overcame him, and his face and posture relaxed, making the typically rigid vampire look a bit like he'd just had a fantastic massage. He hadn't felt as peaceful as he did at that moment for a very, very long time. He'd got close, with Sam. When they were together, he didn't think as much. Laughter and smiles came to him easily, but he still held back a piece of himself. He couldn't just be. Couldn't let things just happen. Not like Gene did.

He bobbed around lazily in the mortal's mind like a duck caught in the current of a gently flowing creek, enjoying the feeling of serenity and observing his thoughts as they floated by.

Wonder when he's going to start
Will I feel anything?
Didn't know anything was put there, so maybe not
Hope not

Sam was nervous
Stuttered
His boss is scary-intimidating-serious
Didn't even smile when I did

Has he started?

Yes, Vomas answered, and Gene jumped in his chair.

That wasn't out loud, that was in my head
He's in my head
Can hear my thoughts
That one too

Yes, Vomas said again, amusement clear in his mind-voice. But I don't have to look.

Waves of gratitude lapped around him. Back in the physical world, Vomas smiled.

Once he was actually searching for it, Vomas quickly found the binding. It had been tied to the part of Gene's brain that controlled speech, but beyond the slightly metallic tang of magic on its most outer edges, it didn't feel like a spell. He burrowed deeper, examining it as he went. No, it definitely wasn't a spell. Put in place by a magic user, yes, but not a spell. He'd been worried he'd have to involve Conner in the undoing of it (the head of their spy network was the only magic user besides Sabrina that he knew), but he was more than capable of removing a simple compulsion.

"There," he said after he'd finished.

Gene looked dubious. "That's it?"

Vomas nodded.

"Don't feel any different."

"You won't until you speak to someone who isn't aware of our existence. It would be unwise to do so, I must say, but you will be free to talk about us."

"Meaning I won't get all clammed up when I try to talk about anything to do with you guys?"

"Exactly."

"That's great!" he enthused, and when Gene turned to smile triumphantly at Sam, Vomas pulled out the tray under his desk that held his keyboard and began typing. It still frustrated him that he couldn't pound out the words per minute that Tansy was capable of, despite all the practicing he'd done, but he was tolerably quick about it these days. He had Gene's record up and edited in no time at all, and he spun the monitor for the human to see.

"Hey, that's me," he observed, leaning forward eagerly to look.

"You'll see that you're no longer referenced as a pet," Vomas began, pointing at the section it had previously been labeled in.

"Yeah, and that y'all got a picture of me after I'd been working all day!" He laughed and shook his head. "Can I have a do-over?"

Vomas looked at Sam and shrugged, as if to say, ball's in your court now. He'd done his part, now it was Sam's turn.

[Existentially Odd]

Attempting to settle himself - though watching Vomas and Gene interact so easily had certainly helped with that - Sam cleared his throat and smiled over at Gene.  The mortal was even more beautiful when he was happy and-- and he had to stop thinking about that!  They were here on business and it had been far less painful and more successful than he'd dared hope.  Vomas had saved him yet again and he was awash with gratitude on that count; he had to keep focus.

"Sure, I have a camera upstairs, i-if you want to come up, I can take a picture of you and upload it onto the system right now?"  It was only after the words were out of his mouth that he stopped worrying about how he'd said it and started worrying instead about what he'd said.

[Saccharin]

"I was just teasing, but sure, if it's not an inconvenience," Gene said, ducking his head and smiling in an adorably sheepish manner.

The thought of Sam being alone with the attractive human and his easy smiles made Vomas uncomfortable, and he was surprised at the feeling. Sam had called Gene his friend, nothing more... except, there had been something more. If his memory served him well, Sam had admitted to hitting on the human and offering him his blood. No, those two alone wasn't something he was comfortable with at all, not until he had a better understanding of where he stood with the other vampire.

He reached for his iPhone - it'd been charging in a drawer in his desk - and swiped at the screen to unlock it.

"It takes great pictures," he offered, holding up the sleek device, camera lens pointing outward. 

[Existentially Odd]

Sam's smile faltered as he turned to look at Vomas, blinking and opening his mouth to respond before his jaw bounced soundlessly and he closed it again, not wishing to look like a landed trout.  He really had nothing to say to that, certainly not a sensible argument for why he should be taking Gene up to his apartment in order to take his picture.  He wished that there was more to it than Vomas just being his ever-practical self on one level, but realised he shouldn't be flattering himself.  And it was for the best anyway, right?  Gods knew what he'd be tempted with if he did get Gene alone so near some very comfortable furniture.

Forcing a polite smile, he nodded and stood to take the phone off his lover, getting the camera up and swivelling slightly in his seat towards Gene.  "Say cheese," he joked, smiling at the lovely face framed before him in the camera.  He took the shot and showed the mortal to gain his approval before handing the phone back to Vomas and standing, tucking his fingertips into the front pockets of his jeans.  "Well.  That was pretty easy, I guess we should leave you to it, then?  Thanks for your help," he told his boss politely, finding his wrapping-up comments quite surreal.

Suddenly, he didn't think he should be leaving with Gene, but he also didn't think he could just accompany him down to the lobby and send him on his way without explaining anything.  What was there to explain?  He wasn't sure and the longer he thought about it, the more flustered he was feeling.  He swallowed stiffly and looked at Gene, hoping he might get a cue from him he could follow.

[Saccharin]

Gene stood shortly after Sam did, and for what felt like the hundredth time since he'd been in Vomas' office, he extended his thanks to the man. "Yeah, I really do appreciate what you did," he said, hooking his thumbs at the tops of his jean pockets and then tapping the sides of his legs with his fingers.

He could feel the depressingly thin wallet in his right pocket, and he wondered whether he should offer payment for the services he'd been provided. It seemed like the right thing to do, so probably meant it was. The problem, however, was that he'd just paid rent and utilities, then he'd had to buy some new boots when he'd discovered the soles of his old ones were unrepairable. Money, unsurprisingly, was tight. Still. It wouldn't be right not to offer anything in exchange.

"I know y'all probably have handymen already, but if there's ever anything that needs to be fixed 'round here, give me a call. I can do most anything, and even if I can't, I'll figure it out," he said earnestly, and smiled at Vomas. Given the tone of their mental conversation and the smile he'd witnessed on the man's face (brief as it'd been), Gene had expected to see one in return, but he didn't.

In fact, the vampire wasn't even looking at him, even though he'd been the one most recently talking - he was staring at Sam (who was looking at him), his face weirdly expressionless. Gene looked between them, his brows furrowed, feeling as if he'd missed something. Had he said something wrong?

"Very well," Vomas said abruptly, making the human blink and turn to him. His expression was still unreadable. "Have a good night, both of you."

Okay, yeah. Weird.

"Bye. Thanks again," Gene said to the seated vampire, giving an awkward little wave. Vomas didn't see - he'd already shifted his attention back to his computer. The sharp sound of a mouse being double clicked alternated with the steady beat of fingers against a keyboard, and Gene started edging away from his desk, glancing at Sam and then nodding toward the door.

Gene couldn't make it out of the office quickly enough, and he was relieved to see that Sam followed.

"Was it just me," he whispered as they exited the hallway, heading toward the elevators, "or was that really strange there at the end?"

[Existentially Odd]

Sam swallowed and only gave an awkward little laugh before the lift doors opened and then he stepped in, waiting until they closed again before he spoke.  On one hand, he felt elated, because he knew Vomas had not wanted him to be going anywhere with Gene - and there was absolutely no practicality about it, after all! - but on the other he felt thoroughly embarrassed and awkward because Gene had noticed and he had no idea about what Sam had just put him in the middle of.  And he had to give the gorgeous mortal an explanation.

"I, um... yeah, it was a bit strange," he agreed, giving Gene a sheepish shrug and a reassuring smile.  "I think it, uh... well, b-because Vomas and I... uh... w-we've been um," he swallowed again, breaking eye contact in order to stare at the buttons he should've pressed by now, and then he leaned over to do just that, initiating their descent to the lobby.  "We've been seeing each other a bit lately and I don't think he particularly wants me hanging out with you when he knows how much I like you," he told the button panel in a smooth rush that only seemed to emphasise how badly he'd been talking just before.

After a few moments, he settled back on his heels and then summoned the courage to look at Gene's face, gnawing at the inside of his lower lip so that his mouth was twisted to his right.

[Saccharin]

As the elevator descended, so did his heart, sliding free from his chest and twisting between his stomach, then dropping even farther to land on the ground with a sickeningly wet sound. They'd have to be careful not to step on it on their way out.

Gene hung his head and stared wretchedly at the floor. Of course Sam had someone else interested in him. He was handsome, intelligent and as kindhearted as anyone he'd ever met. And this Vomas guy? He was at least as intelligent, judging by the collection of books in his office and the proper way he talked, and though he was a little dark for his tastes, he could see the appeal. He was confident. Sure of himself. And most importantly, he was a vampire. Just like Sam. They could bond about their favorite flavor of blood and talk about first-hand experiences from a hundred years back. They'd have eternity to do that.

He, on the other hand... What was there to say? He was a mortal working for a landscaping company who hadn't graduated from high school and, worst of all, hadn't even had balls enough to let Sam know he liked him. He'd very nearly turned Sam down when he suggested they go out for drinks and a round of pool. It'd taken Sam reassuring him it wasn't a real date for him to calm his nerves enough to accept the invitation! He was pathetic. Fucking pathetic.

God, why hadn't Sam waited to tell him? There was no escape from his humiliation on an elevator. But even when the metal cage they stood in came to a stop, it took forever for it to finally open so he could flee into the cavernous lobby. Maybe it would swallow him up.

He stood with his back to Sam, eyes closed and breathing deeply, so he could regain some of his composure (that took long enough that Sam had been able to follow him out and the doors had shut behind them some time ago), and only then did he turn to face the vampire. "I should be getting home," he said, trying valiantly to smile but failing spectacularly. "Have an early morning."

He wanted to make a run for it, the thing he always did when confronted with something he couldn't handle. That, and drinking. Yes, there would be drinks in his immediate future.

[Existentially Odd]

Sam was intensely worried by Gene's reaction to his news but, more than that, he was humbled.  He'd felt like he'd always been the one pursuing Gene - it was he who always called him to talk once he had his number, he who'd insisted they meet up again, he who'd splurged his erotic imaginings straight into the innocent mortal's brain.  It had felt like he was chasing and that even though the mortal was flattered, he really wasn't overly interested in anything beyond some friendly chatter with a guy that he had a common bond with and similar history to.

That silence, though... it was electric and he was loathe to interrupt it.  Moreover, he didn't really know what to say while he waited for Gene to stop looking so surprisingly disappointed and gather himself to leave with dignity.  Sam admired that about him, he really did, but he wanted to do some clarifying first.  He worked his cool hand into Gene's warm one and gave him a sincere and apologetic look, gently tugging the hand and tilting his head towards a pretty two-seater settee that was arranged against a nearby wall.

"Could you sit a spell first?  I won't keep you long, I just want to explain some things - or maybe I should just walk with you, back to your car, talk on the way?" he asked hopefully.

[Saccharin]

Even more pathetic was the intensity in which he felt Sam's hand in his; it sent tingles shooting upwards from his finger tips all the way into his arm. He wondered if it felt the same for Sam, or if it was the stupid crush he'd developed and hidden away magnifying the sensation for him. But the way he'd phrased himself... was Sam planning on lessening the blow by explaining why Vomas was a better choice than him? He'd already gone through that in his head, he didn't need it spelled out.

"What's there to explain?" he asked, resisting the tugging as much as Sam allowed, given his superior strength.

[Existentially Odd]

Sam visibly deflated when Gene resisted his entreaty, his shoulders slumping even though he still hung onto his hand.  In fact, his other hand came round to cup Gene's in the middle, patting the mortal's warm skin ever so lightly as he worried about how deeply he'd hurt his feelings.

"Well... not a lot, I guess.  Just that... Vomas and me... it wasn't anything serious, he wasn't interested in a commitment.  I wanted a relationship, though... I wasn't dicking you around, or cheating - I want you to know that - and when I was calling you, those times, I meant everything I said.  I think you and I are really compatible and I was planning to find out for sure tonight, it's just... pretty much after I arranged to see you, Vomas... kind of changed the rules.  I don't know exactly what they are, yet but... he wants to give us a go.  I've just... known him longer and it's been bad timing, I guess, 'cos when we first met you were taken and now suddenly I guess I am and I just wanted to explain... that," he finished lamely, giving a shrug as he looked sincerely into Gene's eyes.

"I really like you," he confessed sadly, "and I'm also really sorry.  I hope... you don't think too badly of me, do you?"  There was appeal in his voice that asked 'If I call you up, will you hang up on me or curse me out or could we maybe hang out again sometime?' but he was afraid to say that.  It seemed trite and... rude.  Far too pushy for a Southerner.

[Saccharin]

And there it was. What could've been. It didn't make him feel any better, knowing that if circumstances had been altered even slightly - if he'd come to his senses and left Orias sooner, or if he'd spoken up about his feelings instead of letting Sam do all the talking - that maybe, just maybe, they could've been something more than friends.

"I'm not mad at you," he said to Sam's shoulder, for he couldn't bring himself to look him in the eye. He was frustrated with himself, not angry with Sam. He was sad he was who he was, and that the repressed life he'd lived in Tennessee had been carried into this city and had poisoned his interactions with Sam. He'd ruined things, not Sam. But he couldn't bring himself to say it. Just like he hadn't been able to say a hundred other things because he was worried about the reaction he'd get.

"Maybe we could talk more about it later?" he asked hopefully, finally meeting Sam's gaze. "Really do need to get home." Home to his whiskey, more like, but he didn't mention that, either.

[Existentially Odd]

Sam's smile shone with relief and happiness when Gene indicated that they'd be able to talk about this again some other time - meaning they'd be able to talk.  He was really appreciative of that and he gave the mortal's hand a squeeze before he released him reluctantly.  "Sure I shouldn't walk you back to your car?  I'd be more than happy to - or drive you back to it, that'll be even faster?" he queried.

[Saccharin]

"No, no, that's okay," he said, perhaps a little too quickly, so he made it a point to elaborate. "Don't wanna trouble you any more tonight."

Gene tucked his hands into his coat pockets and gave a smile another shot. This time, it stuck in place, though it was a little lopsided. "Thanks for getting me squared away. Nice to be done with all that, y'know?"

[Existentially Odd]

Sam felt like he should insist but he could also recognise Gene's desire to get away from him and he respected that.  He would feel the same in his shoes and Gene really was being incredibly civil about everything.  "Anytime.  Happy to help.  Well... you take care now, and I'll talk to you soon," he told the mortal, trying not to sound too eager about it and watching as Gene nodded perfunctorily then scampered across the vast expanse of the lobby like something was chasing him.  Sam watched him until he could no longer see him, then turned and hit the up button on the elevator they'd not long stepped out of (and was able to walk straight back into it as it hadn't gone anywhere).

He didn't bother pretending he had something more important to do and he was done being uncertain about things; he went straight back to the oligarchs' office floor and breezed into Vomas' office (telling Tansy as he passed her to hold any calls he happened to get).  Regardless of whether Vomas said anything or not, he walked into his office, closed the door and sat in one of the chairs on the other side of his desk.  He was tense, though his posture bespoke calm assuredness, for his legs were stretched in front of him, crossed at the ankle, his elbows resting on the arms of his chair so that he could lace his fingers together over his stomach.  He looked calmly at Vomas.

"I need a label," he declared succinctly.  "Maybe that's not your thing and I usually don't care too much but that was the singularly worst thing I've had to do in a very long time and the worst part was that I couldn't define anything.  So, I need a label.  For us," he clarified, staring unblinkingly at his lover.

[Saccharin]

As soon as Vomas heard Sam's voice, he pushed his keyboard tray away from his lap, but he was still in the process of sitting back in his chair when he entered his office. He continued getting comfortable at his own leisure as Sam crossed the room and sat down, resting his forearms on the soft leather padding of his armrests and stretching his legs out as well (but retracting them somewhat when his feet hit the back panel of his desk).

He listened to Sam with a small smile tucked away at the very corner of his mouth, thinking his assertive demeanor incredibly sexy. It was something about the way he sat in front of him in his office and made demands, like the equal he considered him to be.

"Boyfriends?" he suggested, his eyebrows quirking and his smile completely blooming. "Unless, of course, you acknowledge neither of us are boys and would prefer something like manfriend."

[Existentially Odd]

Sam nodded at the first word, ready to accept that and leaning forward marginally as if he might simply take his label and leave, but then Vomas continued and he settled back, giving him a crooked look.  He was doing his best to ignore that smile because he didn't find this amusing in the slightest - he'd just hurt Gene's feelings and that had felt very serious.  Serious enough that he shouldn't melt at the first sign of a handsome expression.

"Neither of us are boys," he conceded, "but neither do I think we're cowboys or natives," he frowned, the term conjuring images of people who couldn't speak very fluent English bartering across some old-time table.  "I just... I mean, I get we're not just fuck-buddies any more, and that we're not a secret any more but I just want to know where you think we're headed.  Are we just 'dating', exclusively dating, partners, lovers, boyfriends - gah!" he exclaimed, his expression wrinkling as he pulled his head back and shook it a little, almost as if he was being taunted by a bee about to sting his nose.

"There's plenty of terms, though none of them exactly fit, so I just want to know this: are you thinking this is a thing where we'll wake up one night and say, 'I love you,' or are we just still having a good time that doesn't really have to mean anything?  Because I want you to know I'm in it for the first one; I want a relationship with you where I don't have to keep guarding my feelings and worrying that I'm going to scare you off by making demands on your time and wanting to get close to you.  I want to commit to you," Sam asserted, his hands having joined his conversation in order to help him make his point along the way but now they were still, cupping his knees as he sat forward, awaiting Vomas' verdict.

He hadn't actually meant to throw his heart onto the desk between them when he'd come in here, he'd really been intending to keep it very simple.  Problem was, he was getting himself quite tangled in Vomas and the time was fast approaching where, if it wasn't going to be reciprocated, he'd not be able to disentangle himself without getting sliced to pieces.  He wasn't a masochist and he rather liked his dignity, so being up-front was a smarter way to go about it (that didn't make this any less nerve-wracking, however).

[Saccharin]

Upon seeing Sam's expression, he immediately regretted the flippant way he'd treated the subject matter. Hadn't he only moments earlier decided that he needed to determine where they stood with one another? Deflecting the question with humor wasn't the way to do that.

As soon as Sam finished talking, he pushed himself from his chair and moved around his desk to stand next to the younger vampire. His eyes were soft as he reached down to take one of Sam's hands in his. He held it gently, with his palm up and his fingers loosely wrapped around it, his thumb stroking the top.

"I'm sorry," he said, inclining his head to look at Sam. "You're right. You deserve to know where things are going." He pulled on Sam's hand, stepping back and urging him to stand. As soon as he did, he took up Sam's other hand and held both between them. "Do you know that I figured out I felt something for you when Kerr confronted me?" His mouth twisted to the side and then he pressed his lips together, smiling faintly. "I'd promised myself that I'd end things with you if we were ever discovered, but at that moment, when he invited you to come with me to that dinner, I couldn't stand the thought of giving you up. So I didn't."

Vomas released Sam's hands and stepped close, wrapping his arms around him in a loose hug. He wanted to be even closer, but he wasn't ready to sacrifice seeing his reactions yet. "What I'm trying to say is that... you don't have to guard your feelings or worry that you're going to scare me off. Demand my time. Get close to me. Commit."

He pressed his lips against Sam's forehead to kiss him tenderly. "Because I plan on doing the same."

== End ==