Austria

[Trillian]

Ben was leaning out of the tall arched window, his elbows on the sill while he emailed Murphy his latest update.  He was quicker texting on his phone, but the message he wanted to send was better suited to an email via his iPad, so he could write all that he wanted.  His email was already four paragraphs long relating the flight on Kerr's private jet, the weather they'd had when arriving at Vienna last night, (it had been raining, unfortunately, so the sights hadn't been as breathtaking as Ben knew it truly was).  Kerr had wanted to book at a flashy modern hotel but Ben had insisted that staying in one of the old refurbished hotels would be more to his liking.  Kerr had been more than agreeable.  It was still the flashiest hotel he'd ever been in, and catered to many a VIP Ben was sure, but it still looked classic and old-worldly on the outside and some of that decoration carried through internally, and that was what Ben wanted, the feel of Austria.

Kerr and Ichabod had both been accomodating, likely because there was good feelings all around.  No matter how they had all felt when leaving the city, it had certainly felt refreshing and exciting to arrive in Europe.  Kerr's German was impeccable, and both Ben and Ichabod struggled with it.  Ben was lucky enough to have a few years mental experience on Ichabod that he could glean intent from the local's minds, but luckily enough for them all, everyone they'd come across spoke excellent English.  He supposed that made sense for the hospitality trade.

It was very early in the night - the first night they really had to look around - and Ben had stuck his head out of the window to smell the air and try and sense if it would rain.  He wasn't as good as his sire for that but he was still able to guess the weather correctly most of the time.  It was a skill Ichabod was pretty good at as well.  Nothing wrong with their sense of smell, it would seem.  He smelled no rain, but crisp air, which indicated it would be a cool, dry night.

Ben finished his email with a couple of places he was hoping to visit while he was in Vienna; Mozarthaus and the Nationalbibliothek, and mentioned his unhappiness that many of the museums and cafes in the Museumsquartier shut early so there was a smaller chance of discovering something there.  He wrote about the library being one of the oldest and biggest in Europe, and related his hope that he would find more information there that he wanted to send Murphy about ghosts and spirits and such.  He figured a place rich in history as Europe was, while not being afraid to document the supernatural like America had been, he would be more successful with his findings.

He had to stop himself from writing more and simply sent the email off.  The last line implied another message would be coming soon.  I hope to have a lot more to tell you about when next I write. 

He put the iPad to sleep and tossed it nonchalantly on the ornate armchair beside him.  The cushion was a little harder than he'd anticipated and the device bounced up enough to almost slide off.  He was quick enough to catch it, however, and looked up when out of the corner of his eye he could see someone.

"Ichabod, hey," he said.  It was still more natural to speak out loud than use mental communication.  Speaking with his mind exhausted him fairly quickly, and he didn't want to face a new night of anticipated sightseeing already fatigued.  "Is Kerr still in the shower?"

As far as stupid questions went, that was pretty stupid, and he felt ridiculous for asking it.  No, Kerr wasn't still in the shower and he knew that because he'd heard the water shut off as he was signing off on his email.  It wasn't something a normal person would hear, but he wasn't a normal person anymore.  He was a vampire, and he rarely acted like it.

"Never mind," he said hurriedly, before Ichabod had a chance to answer.  "I was hoping to go by the Nationalbibliothek around midnight.  Were you interested?"

It gave them roughly four hours to look at other things together, to spend time with Kerr and each other, to take in the beauty and differences of the city, and to give them a chance to investigate separately afterward.  Ben knew Ichabod was interested in the same kind of historic and cultural things he was, but it might not extend to delving into an ancient library.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod had been frustrated by Kerr’s sudden desire to leave America, but there was no way he was going to let himself get left behind and when they finally landed in Austria he was as excited as Ben about suddenly finding himself immersed in a whole new world. His claustrophobia had kicked in when they’d first got on the flight, but Kerr’s calming influence and the size of the private jet all to themselves had helped him get over it and be able to enjoy his first flight - although a tin can flying through the air wouldn’t be his first choice of transport any time soon.

He’d been content to let Kerr and Ben make the decisions about where they stayed, what areas would be best and the type of hotel and although he’d said nothing about it he was pleased they had settled on the hotel which felt like they were really in the heart of Europe - rather than a modern one which could have been anywhere in the world. He wished he knew more of the language, although they hadn’t really needed it much so far. Although he found it easier to make friends than Ben when he had a bit of time, Ichabod wasn’t confident with strangers and being somewhere he didn’t know made it difficult as well. Apart from his few months at university Ichabod had never been out of the city they called home for long and it was scary, but thrilling.

After he’d showered Ichabod had spent a bit of time lying on his bed flicking through a guide book of the city. He’d not really had time to research anything before they’d left, but wanted to make the most of their time here. He was hoping Ben and Kerr would have some ideas of what they wanted to see as he was having trouble narrowing it down at the moment. Browsing the pages was only making it even more overwhelming.

Deciding that he was getting no where by himself Ichabod strolled through their hotel suite to where he knew Ben was in the living area, the guidebook dangling loosely with his fingers marking a few pages which had especially caught his eye.

A small smile flickered across his lips at the demonstration of his brother’s speed as he dawdled in the doorway.

“Hey,” he responded, his head tilting to one side as he too forgot they both already knew the answer to Ben’s question and he listened out for a sign of what their sire was up to, but Ben was already carrying on.

His smile grew as Ben did exactly what Ichabod had wanted and suggested somewhere for them to go.

“Nationalbibliothek?” he repeated, saying the unfamiliar word slowly, but pronouncing it correctly as he lifted the guidebook to flick through, trying to remember what he’d seen on that sight.

“That’s the library right? Yeah, that sounds great, of course I’m interested,” he said, lifting his dark eyes to glance at Ben with a grin. How could Ben have doubted that he’d want to go there?

“I saw this too, St Stephen’s cathedral? The architecture looks amazing and the guide book says we should climb the tower to see the view of the city,” Ichabod added, closing some of the distance between them and offering the guidebook towards Ben open on the page on the cathedral his finger had been marking. He guessed Ben had already done his research and knew where he wanted to go - maybe he’d already read up on the cathedral - but Ichabod wanted to back up his suggestion with something.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr had fled the city.  He realised that now and had rationalised it to himself over the past few hours.

After Vomas had accepted his spontaneous promotion, Kerr had packed with feverish intent, throwing whatever came to hand into a suitcase and toiletries bag, scooping a handful of dry cleaner-bagged suits out of his wardrobe and declaring himself ready.  He'd called his pilot to arrange for their imminent flight and grabbed his laptop as a second thought while Ben had taken a little more care with his packing.  By the time he'd organised a limousine to take them to the Capital, Ichabod had packed and they'd got to the airport, the jet was fuelled and ready for takeoff.  They travelled west, ahead of the sun and it had felt good to lift off and fly away from the city.  A relief.

Since he'd not bothered to redecorate the plane, there'd been the option of sleeping in the twins' huge bed, Sawyl's old room or his but they'd managed to extend their night by flying swiftly and had managed to pass the time in the jet's elegant lounge area.  Ichabod had been distracted with books and the laptop, discussions of landing protocols and sightseeing had dominated and Kerr had allowed himself to become immersed in it even though he hadn't said overly much.  A strong sense of déja vu hit him when Ben insisted on a hotel that was not new and he'd acceded reluctantly.  It was funny how, almost three hundred years after being here, he could look at furniture, at the architecture of this building and be taken back to when he'd been there last with Sawyl and his mothers.  He'd kept a firm lid on those memories - they weren't overly happy times - doing his best not to let his negative associations with this hotel leak along his bloodline.

After an exceptionally long night, a day of sleep had been welcomed by them all.  The suite they were staying at had an inner bedroom with two large beds inside it and no windows, so it had been perfectly safe.  Kerr had insisted they push the beds together so that he could slumber with his fledglings pressed up against his sides, taking comfort from their presence until bad dreams roused him just after sundown the next night.  He'd pulled on a pair of black boxer briefs and made his way out to a chair in the living area, sitting with his right leg tucked beneath him, hugging his drawn-up left leg while he stared unseeingly out the window at the darkening city.  His thoughts were either far away or far behind them, concentrated on things that left him feeling melancholy and empty.

Ben and Ichabod had found him this way some time later and when he'd turned to look at them, his aspect was of a moving statue, his emotional response to them similarly hard.  He forced himself to smile, to cover his negative feelings and be open to their curious excitement.  When he realised it wouldn't happen as quickly as he wished, he took himself in for a nice long shower, needing to wash away his overarching perception of worthlessness.  This city, where his sire and first fledglings had abused and terrified him, was not the best place for him to find a renewed confidence but he had to force himself to let that go into hindsight now.  Ben and Ichabod would pull him through, as long as he let them and he was ready to follow.

He walked back into the living area with a huge towel slung about his waist and most of the water dried off his body as Ichabod mentioned climbing a tower.  "So... we'll be travelling around the city on foot tonight?" he queried as he perched on the arm of the chair he'd been in earlier, eyebrows raised and a benign expression on his face.  He'd come out to find out what their plans were so he knew whether to dress up or if jeans and a shirt would suffice.

[Trillian]

Ben was already nodding and answering Ichabod's smile with one of his own when asked about the tower, when Kerr entered the room.

Even though Ben was Kerr's first-created fledgling, he had a much smaller chance of picking up Kerr's sheltered feelings about the hotel.  Ichabod, boasting a pure blood connection, was more likely - depending, of course, on their sire's ability to keep things in check.  As it was, Ben was oblivious to any negativity, mentally felt or otherwise.

"Not on foot, no.  I wanted to get one of those Vienna cards that the hotel was selling down in the lobby," Ben said.  It had been Ichabod's keen eye that spotted the booklet, in fact.  The Vienna Card was a public transportation card, designed mostly for tourists if the book full of discount coupons was anything to judge by, and Ben had been very keen to travel on the trams.  He knew he could just go to San Francisco for that, or there was even The 402 Diner in the city a few blocks from the Oligarchy Chambers that was done up like the inside of a tram, but it wasn't the same.

He wondered if Kerr would screw his nose up at the idea of using public transport, and if they would end up catching cabs everywhere, or worse still, hiring a car and driver.  Ben looked to Ichabod for any kind of support.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod let the book fall to his side as he turned to give a small smile to their sire. He knew Kerr wasn’t happy, but Kerr was doing a good job of covering his feelings regarding his lost family so Ichabod assumed it was all to do with the his embarrassment at the ball. He had been so disappointed in Kerr wanting to run away, but he knew if he’d been so humiliated he probably would have wanted to do the same and now he just wanted to comfort Kerr and try to make him feel better.

As usual, Ben’s presence made him reluctant to physically demonstrate that to Kerr - even curling up beside the two of them in bed had felt odd. But being somewhere new with just them, and sharing so much excitement with Ben was making a difference and Ichabod recognised that as he smiled at Ben’s words. They’d been able to find a few things in common before, but for once he actually felt properly comfortable with his brother. Just not showing too much affection towards Kerr when he was around.

“That sounds like a good plan. Then we can see stuff whilst we’re going around, faster than on foot. It’ll be fun… right?” Ichabod said, aiming his final words at Kerr, his smile fading slightly. He couldn’t really imagine Kerr choosing to go by public transport and this was Kerr’s escape, so Ichabod didn’t want to push for something Kerr wouldn’t want to do.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr's gaze shifted from Ben to Ichabod and he gave a nod and a small smile, even though he had no idea what a Vienna Card was - he certainly hadn't been paying attention to what they were chatting about when he'd booked them into the hotel.  They were brimming with enthusiasm about it, though, and about the places they were about to visit and he was happy to follow them wherever they led.  It wasn't as if he remembered a great deal about Vienna - beyond that year Sawyl decided he simply had to get close to Mozart because he was a child prodigy like himself and then coming back alone some twenty years later to see the man in concert by himself - so he was as intrigued by making connections with his memories as his fledglings were in forging new ones.

Besides, if he followed them along and didn't disturb their progress, it would allow him to keep thinking.  Having all the information he needed now, he stood.  "Of course it will.  I'll go get dressed," he declared placidly and wandered back towards the bedroom, removing the bath sheet from his waist as he went and swiping at a few errant drops of water he could feel still clinging to his back.  If undisturbed, he'd toss the towel on the bed while he dressed in jeans, a light blue busines shirt (unbuttoned at the neck), a black suit jacket and some sneakers.  He'd hang his towel up afterwards, apply some cologne and then loiter until his fledglings were ready to precede him out the door.  They would probably need sustenance to begin the night but they were big boys and could take care of that themselves; he'd follow silently along while they drank, too.

[Trillian]

Ben watched Kerr go with a light frown creasing his brow.  He waited until Kerr was out of the room (though he doubted location would make much of an impact, it certainly helped Ben focus a little better when sending mental communication to someone if they were the only ones in the room with him) before speaking silently with Ichabod.

He seems off, detached.  I think it goes beyond what happened at the Oligarchy, though I could be wrong.  What do you think?

He was asking Ichabod because even though Ben was very close to Kerr, he put more trust in Ichabod's sensitivity to other's feelings.  A lot of the time Ben viewed it as a weakness, but at times like these it was a strength.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod watched their sire disappear before turning to look back at Ben upon hearing his voice in his head. He pursed his lips slightly, a crease appearing between his own eyebrows as he thought about Ben’s question. Ichabod had felt like something wasn’t quite right as well and he was glad he wasn’t just being paranoid.

I think you’re right. He’s usually so… well he would be trying to show us some culture. Recommending things. He’s being so passive, Ichabod replied mentally. I don’t know if it’s just what happened at the Oligarchy knocked his confidence, but it’s like there’s something else on his mind too. Think you could get it out of him? Maybe Ichabod was better at picking things up, but it was Ben who was closer, Ben that Kerr was more likely to confide in and Ichabod wasn’t about to suggest he should try to find out when he saw that as Ben’s role.

He moved over to the large table which sat in the living area of the suite, picking up his camera to check the memory and battery.

It’s tempting to believe he’ll shake himself out of it, but I don’t know. I don’t want to just leave him miserable.

[Trillian]

Ben considered the suggestion before lightly shaking his head the once.  No, it was nothing Ben could extract from Kerr without feeling like a bulldozer.

When Ichabod went to his camera, Ben's hand strayed to his jeans pocket, where his smartphone hid.  It would be his camera today, and likely would act as one throughout the trip unless he felt he was missing out.

Sometimes, people just want to work things out on their own, Ben replied, and even though he wholeheartedly believed this about himself and the fact that many people were like him in this respect, he didn't necessarily believe it about Kerr, and much of this doubt leaked through his mental connection with Ichabod.  As feint as their blood connection was, it was still strong enough to capture many of their emotions when there was overflow, or half-sent thoughts.

I think, if he doesn't snap out of it by the end of tonight, Ben looked in the direction where he knew his sire was going to appear, but there was nobody there as yet, we'll confront him.  He hadn't meant to use that word, and Ichabod received some echoes of correction immediately afterward.  Question, talk, ask.

Ben's gaze returned to Ichabod, and his eyebrows rose inquiringly, wondering if Ichabod would accept his proposal.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod gave a small shrug as he heard Ben’s argument for letting Kerr work it out on his own, knowing Ben wasn’t quite believing his own words through the feelings flowing through their bond. He wanted to be there to help Kerr, but didn’t know how to and felt like if he tried he would be stepping on Ben’s toes as Kerr’s partner.

As Ben went on, Ichabod turned his gaze back to his brother, turning the camera over in his hands and lightly chewing his lower lip. Confront Kerr? About what? Being unhappy? Yes, Ben’s corrections made it sound a little better, but it still sounded so accusatory and apart from running away Kerr hadn’t done anything so wrong in Ichabod’s eyes.

And say what? Don’t be unhappy, you’re making us uncomfortable? Gang up on him? I don’t think it’s something he can just snap out of and we shouldn’t try to make him. Forcing him into it isn’t going to help anything. His dark eyes flickered towards the door, expecting Kerr to make a reappearance at any second and slightly worried that Kerr would be able to know what they’d been talking about – that he might have overheard mentally somehow despite his efforts at keeping it aimed only at Ben.

[Trillian]

So what do we do?  Pretend we don't notice and hope our enthusiasm cheers him up?

Ben wasn't being sarcastic, but genuinely curious.  What would Ichabod do in such a situation?  What was the solution for a caring soul?  Ben loved Kerr with all his might, but he'd always felt like he was missing something vital, and it was probably the very thing that had been problematic between himself and Kerr early on and especially during the three unremembered years.  They'd had enough time together now that they'd re-written their relationship - and it was a very different thing to what it had been.  He wondered what they would've been like together if Kerr had run away with him after saving him in the desert, instead of leaving him to discover all his changes while Kerr went back for Jack.  It wasn't the first time he'd wondered this, but it had a very, very long time since he'd drummed up that memory.

How long should we wait before we mention something?

Internally, he knew Ichabod wouldn't have these answers and would be extremely surprised if he did.  He certainly wouldn't assign blame on his kindred brother if he didn't have solutions in black and white, but it would still be nice if Ichabod had some ideas.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod gave a small sigh, running a hand through his hair as he tried to work out how best to handle this.

Try to find out what’s making him so unhappy. But not just by demanding he tells us. He might have his reasons for not telling us. And if he tells us, try to help if he wants us to. And I don’t have a time limit, just… if it feels right, ask. Mention we know he’s not happy, Ichabod replied, giving a small shrug.

Ichabod wanted to be able to give Ben proper answers, but he didn’t have them and it was frustrating. He didn’t want Kerr to feel like he had to tell them everything, as much as Ichabod wanted to know. But what if Kerr was just waiting for them to ask? If he wanted them to ask so he had an excuse to tell them without feeling like he was putting a dampener on the time away? It was so difficult to know.

He knows we’re here for him and love him. There’s not much else we can do if he doesn’t want to tell us. It felt weird saying that to Ben, voicing (even mentally) so bluntly that he loved Kerr, but Ben knew anyway and had shown often enough he didn't have an issue with it - it was only Ichabod himself who had problems with him being a third wheel in this relationship and he'd managed to squash that down often enough.

[Existentially Odd]

"I left my camera behind," Kerr mumbled as he re-entered the room, patting his jacket pockets and frowning around vaguely as if he thought a camera might spring up from somewhere inconspicuous.  Really, it was because he was dressed without his phone on him; he hadn't thought about how attached to his work he was when he'd willingly surrendered the object into Vomas' care.  He'd just wanted to be rid of it.  Now, he was facing his first night of withdrawals, telling himself that he didn't need the job or want it because he was no good at it, yet craving the adrenalin of running the Oligarchy - as all junkies did, in their way.

"I think... I should probably buy a new one?" he said in a way that was more question than statement, finally managing to look at his fledglings and still his hands.  He had a perfectly good, expensive digital SLR camera at home but he hadn't been thinking right when he'd left and hadn't packed it.  While he'd dressed tonight, however, he'd realised that if he was going to be appearing to be in the spirit of touring with his family, the camera was very necessary.  They would want memories of the places they visited and he could easily fill the role of photographer, hiding behind the lens and observing them.

Things weren't right between him and Ben.  He was still coming to terms with what an utter failure he was as a partner, not to mention recovering a state of mind that didn't involve the precipice he'd been on; he'd been about to end their relationship, to walk out on Ben and give up on loving him once and for all (again).  Coming back from that was harder than he'd anticipated, mixed with everything else and he didn't feel comfortable still.  He would initiate no intimacy, treat both of them the same and generally keep his distance until he'd resolved it in his head.  Yes, having a camera to take pictures of them both without favour was essential to him right now.

"I could go and do that while you two feed?" he suggested, thumbing towards the door.  He'd be lucky to find anything open at this hour as it was, but he could always mentally convince someone in a shop to stay - if they were nearby or closing up, say.  He'd have to be quick.

[Trillian]

Ben listened to Ichabod's comments with all seriousness.  Such things sounded corny to him; cheesy, obvious, common sense - but it was obviously not the kind of sense that Ben pursued.  It was one thing to know how to show you cared, it was entirely another thing to follow through and show it.  Ben always thought of what he should've done or said well after the fact.  Sometimes months later he would think back on how a conversation or scenario had occurred between himself and Kerr or himself and Ichabod and consider a myriad of possible words and actions in place of what he'd actually said.  Intellectually he knew it did him no good, to stew over things already done, but he couldn't help it.  It was who he was.

So now, instead of giving Ichabod grief for spontaneously saying the (cheesy obvious common sense) most caring response, Ben did his best to actually listen.  When Ichabod said not to be demanding, Ben no longer felt defensive but instead nodded along with what Ichabod was pointing out.  Of course it would be better not to point out to Kerr one day into their trip that he should share his thoughts with them.  Kerr himself probably didn't have his head together yet anyway.  For someone who was so protective of his own personal time and space, Ben certainly did want people to answer to him.

Huh.

Ben looked at Kerr when he entered the room, then glanced at Ichabod in order to give him a tight smile and nod of thanks before his attention returned to their sire.  He watched as Kerr acted vaguely, talking about his camera.  There was an odd silence that filled the room; it wasn't even a pregnant pause because there wasn't even an air of expectancy.  It wasn't comfortable either, and Ben felt like he was a giant in a tiny room, standing around and feeling like he was in the way.  He figured Ichabod probably felt like that a lot, when it was the three of them.

"Okay," Ben agreed, hoping he sounded casual because to his own ears and inside his own head it sounded strained.  When nobody gave him a funny look, he made his feet take him to the door, past Kerr and Ichabod both.  "We'll call when we're done so we can meet up?" he asked while passing Kerr, but it wasn't much of a question.  He had his phone, but it wasn't his phone that he meant.  Kerr would know he would use their mental connection, but Ben had a much lighter connection to Ichabod and his ability and skill hadn't allowed him to successfully use this tactic.  Nor had he practiced much with it.  Such a thing was invasive, after all.

The 'we' had been inclusive for Ichabod to come along with him.  Ben had felt the presence of a few vampires in this building (he'd become much better at sensing such things while living at the Chambers) and was hoping that the hotel had a kind of secret catering business for their supernatural guests.  Of course a handful of vampires could just be tourists much like Ben, Ichabod and Kerr were, but he was hoping anyway.  He didn't share his thoughts with Ichabod, just in case it turned out to be nothing, but he figured if they went to the lobby and saw a vampire member of staff, they could approach him or her for information.

He dawdled at the door waiting for Ichabod to join him, then realised that Kerr was likely to come down the lift with both of them.  He looked from one to the other then, wondering if his comments had sounded as odd as they felt.  If he wasn't a vampire, he would've flushed embarrassment.

Why did he feel so ingenuine at times?

[pinkroses]

Ichabod glanced towards Kerr as he entered, suddenly feeling guilty for having been discussing Kerr behind his back. He wanted to say something now, to let Kerr know they knew there was something wrong and that they wanted to help, but he couldn’t do that after what he’d just said to Ben. Thinking what the right thing to do might be and actually doing it was sometimes difficult for the younger vampire – a lot of the time he just spoke without considering it at all. He really didn’t want to put his foot in it now though and so kept his mouth shut, even with the simplest of questions as Kerr was posing now.

He slipped his own camera into his jeans pocket as Kerr mentioned forgetting his and lightly touched his other side where his phone was, reminding himself he didn’t need his keys and trying to avoid being a part of the awkward silence which filled the room. There was no avoiding it though and Ichabod felt a swell of relief as Ben filled gap and he followed after Ben with a quick step.

“Yeah, that sounds like a good plan. It’s not like we know any good places to arrange to meet up in advance so… yeah, a call to find out where we all are,” Ichabod said with a nod, gesturing slightly with the guide book he’d scooped up on the way towards the lift. He’d be able to find Kerr anywhere – but a new city full of signs which weren’t in English could make things a little more difficult.

“We need to remember those cards at reception,” Ichabod said quietly as they waited for the lift, reminding himself as much as Ben and Kerr. He was hungry and didn’t want to spend too long in the reception finding out more about the city when there was the city itself to explore out there – and the humans out there to drink from. He felt a trill of excitement at the thought, remembering that there was a whole new world out there to explore and despite his worries about Kerr, a small smile spread across the youngster’s face.

“Was there anywhere you wanted to go and see?” he asked Kerr as they entered the lift, trying to lighten the mood a little.