Seeking

[Trillian]

Ben was looking at Ichabod in shock.  He'd never seen Ichabod so bossy and hostile before.  No, he'd seen him hostile, thanks to his own verbal jabs when they'd been living together at the Chambers, but nothing like this.  It made him feel further detached from the here and now, listening to Ichabod insist that Kerr was dead and prying would lead to more trouble.  Would it?  Could it?  It wasn't something he'd considered.  Did he want to know exactly how Kerr died?  He understood if Conner thought it was necessary to know such a thing considering the Oligarchy had disbanded.  They had to set up something new.  They had to know what their threats were.  Ichabod wasn't going to help them with that, but he was making a lot of sense too.  Why rain down hell on them, if it was something bigger and nastier?  He studied Conner's face and body language, now that he'd been told Kerr's fledges wouldn't help his cause.

[realworldweirdo]

Conner stood stock still, listening to the tirade. It wasn't that he was unmoved; if anything, anger and disgust started to creep across his expression. These two really were fledglings, tiny minds in young bodies, without enough experience to understand the world around them. He listened to Ben carefully, but when Ichabod started speaking, he found himself glaring at him in distaste by the end of his rant. He was aware enough now to realize that Ben was examining him, although he couldn't tell why. Without clearing the obvious judgment from his face, he snapped out a response that he hoped got their attention and made them realize they needed to grow up a bit.

"The point" he stated with barely-contained fury, "Is that he may very well be dead. Kerr Galvin, the Luminary, the leader of this city, the one thing that has been holding us together, and your sire." He paused to inhale, mostly because he hadn't had enough air in his lungs when he'd started. "Do you know what kinds of political forces are out there? The sheer magnitude of supernatural power and vengeance this world contains? The term "going medieval on you" comes from somewhere, and those beings are still alive. Some of them want me dead, and he brought me into the heart of the Oligarchy. Some of them want Jake, or Vomas, or any vampire in this city gone forever. Some of them want the land this city rests on, others want the human population and still others just want to topple it for spite. Lazarus is still out there, and Themba," he guessed that would grab Ben's attention. Kerr had told him to dig on people in the Oligarchy, and he'd started at the top. "Grudges and anger that can last for centuries or longer. The people who subjected me to madness and torture for reading are based in Vienna. So don't tell me what I should and shouldn't do, you whelp of a thing. This city needs an explanation and you owe it to him, or to his memory, to find out what happened. And I owe it to his legacy, alive or dead. You selfish coward."

He hadn't realize he'd been walking forward slowly until he was looming at Ichabod, almost nose to nose if the younger vampire didn't back away. He couldn't really loom over him, as they were about the same height, but everything about him had turned aggressive and authoritarian. His voice stayed low, but had taken an extremely dangerous edge. Energy seeped out of his aura, his emotions unleashing tiny facets of his control over his blood magic and freezing tiny particles of water in the air.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod didn’t move as Connor drew closer to him, but he set his jaw firmly and his hand dropped away from Ben’s shoulder to clench at his side. He’d lived here all his life, which granted wasn’t as long as the vampires here, but he had been born here so he knew he should care about what happened to it. But right now he didn’t care. All he had left was Ben – and even that was a tenuous link.

“Yeah, I’m young, I’m not experienced and to be honest, right now I don’t give a fuck about you and whether this city goes to Hell. I got a few other things on my mind. You got issues, you go deal with them,” he snapped, knowing he should be more humble in front of someone older than him who could probably hurt him quite a lot. But what did it matter anymore? Maybe he was selfish, and yes, Ichabod knew he was probably a coward in a lot of things and the names and lecture from Connor couldn’t hurt him anymore than this already hurt.

But he was very well aware than if he didn’t do something Connor may well find out something and blurt it out in front of Ben. It would kill Ben and Ichabod knew Ben would never forgive him for keeping it secret.

He saw Themba. At the airport when he arrived. Don’t tell Ben, you can’t tell him, it’ll destroy him, he sent mentally to Connor, hoping that his closeness to the older vampire would help him be able to send the message whilst keeping it blocked from Ben.

“Get out,” he said in a low voice, not tearing his gaze away from Connor.

[Trillian]

Ben wasn't in the right frame of mind to be intercepting messages.  He wasn't even in the right frame of mind to be sending them - it was his typical loud kind of thoughts that Ichabod had picked up previously, much stronger than when he'd been a year old fledgling and buzzing at vampire's minds before he'd learnt how to shield them.  Right now he was stunned by the scene playing out before him, horrified by the fact he felt helpless to stop it.

It was weird how their grief had switched their personalities around; Ben, usually the icy, sarcastic and level-headed one was an emotional mess, and Ichabod, usually the warm, sensitive and gentle one was sniping back at Conner who looked fucking intimidating from this angle - never mind being stared down the way Ichabod was.  There was a long pause, and Ben had no idea that his fledge brother was conversing during it.  From where he'd stepped back a little, he thought Ichabod was just staring back after his comment, and Conner was holding back from thumping the crap out of him.  If it came to blows, Ben was ready to defend Ichabod in an instant - superior vampire or not, he was obligated.  Then that soft order was spoken, and Ben stepped forward again, placing a hand on both of their shoulders for their attention.  If he'd been mortal, his heart would've been racing, though a perceptive person would note his expression as well as his trembling hands and deduce his anxiety.

"Please," he added with a whisper, softening the way Ichabod had spoken to Conner, but not arguing what had been said.  He looked at the older vampire, while standing closer to Ichabod.  His side had been chosen for him, regardless of what his own opinion on what had transpired was.  Ichabod was all he had left of Kerr, and his blood - and even his character - was closer to Kerr than Ben could ever hope to achieve for himself.

[realworldweirdo]

Conner took a moment to process the mental message. It had started to fizzle against his mental shields, but he'd opened them in time to get most of it. Who had Kerr seen that would destroy Ben if he found out? He had his guesses, but nothing solid enough to go on. Damn, but he wished he'd heard the rest of that message.... but it also meant that Ichabod was hiding something important. He'd have to see to that later.

When Ben intervened, Conner spared him a sideways glance, but otherwise kept his eyes on Ichabod's.

"Everyone's upset," he announced flatly, an odd mix of suspicion and anger crossing his face. "I expect to hear from you soon."

He flipped the second card at Ichabod's face, not really caring if he caught it or not. "Take care of yourselves, and keep the Murphy under control."

With that, he stormed out the door following the path he'd come in, thoughts whirling behind his shields of Lazarus, Themba, Halwyn, and a half dozen other individuals he needed information on. There was a manhunt to conduct.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod tilted his head slightly towards Ben as his brother stepped up to join him. He kept his gaze on Connor though, wanting to see a sign that his message had been heard and understood, terrified that Connor would blurt it out to Ben here and now and then ben would crack. He couldn’t take that, losing Ben as well as Kerr.

He reached up to grab the card, bristling at the immaturity of the older vampire chucking it in his face but he didn’t say a word as Connor disappeared. And as soon as he was gone Ichabod felt his legs wobble underneath him and the brunette sank to the floor, pressing his hands against the solid ground as his legs curled up.

“Why can’t people just butt out? There’s nothing they can do,” he said huskily, glancing upwards at Ben.