So Much For That

[Annalas]

It was early afternoon when Bill awoke, yawning as he snuggled further into the warm comforter. Minutes later, he realized he was naked, something that typically didn't happen when he slept. He furrowed his brow, the events of the night before coming back to him. What had he done?

It seemed strangely okay, now, to think of more than vampires being out to get him. Lamar clearly hadn't been so worried about it before. So maybe it would be okay; he just had to be absolutely paranoid about things from now on. Perhaps if Emil was still willing, Bill would do the mindshare thing or whatever it was that Emil had wanted last night. It would be easier, now, to accept it now that he had slept on it, now that his brain had become equipped to deal with the presence of more than one type of supernatural.

That was, if Emil wasn't absolutely pissed at him for screwing Lamar. What had he been thinking? Lamar's comments about Emil being angry about infidelity came back to him as he applied them to his own situation. It really wasn't polite to sleep with one's roommate behind one's back, and he was sure that Emil had heard them. How could he not? Bill was a vocal companion, and he certainly hadn't held back much last night. No matter how amazing (and yet unfulfilling) the sex with Lamar had been last night, it shouldn't have happened, and he knew that.

Groaning, Bill buried his face in the covers, unable to believe his own stupidity. How could he? After everything Emil had done for him, this was how he repaid him? Pulling the blanket over his head, he curled into a fetal position, giving in to his despairing thoughts. How could he? What kind of person would do something like that? Clearly Lamar had thought the same thing, as quickly as he had left after the fling. He felt lower than low.

Still….he had to face the music. Maybe he should just walk home, though, and not have to face Emil. Of course, there was the high probability that he would get jumped and torn apart by some unknown creature, despite the fact that it was daylight. It wasn't like there was any ruling body now, was there? At least not one efficient one. He strayed into the wrong territory, and he would be toast.

Slowly, Bill forcing himself out of bed, quickly finding his own clothes from the night before. He folded up the ones Lamar had let him borrow, placing them on the bed after he had made it. It was the least he could do, really, after what he had done. Still unsure whether he was sticking around or going, Bill turned, preparing to leave the room and at least go out to the living room…maybe all the way home, he wasn't sure it.

[skeggsismad]

In the next bed over, a fatigued Dylan lay soundly asleep. At least, he had been, until the crumpling of clothes and fuddling around orchestrated by no one other than Bill. He’d not really been formally introduced to the other fellow, nor was he particularly interested in chatting it up right now. He’d stayed up late with Emil and felt like he could sleep a million years. The hangover he was experiencing didn’t help one bit.

“Ughhhh,” Dylan groaned as he pulled a pillow over his head, shifting in bed.  “Shut up!” He hissed, only half-awake. He didn’t care who it was that was making all that noise whether it be Emil or Lamar- they needed to stop.

[Annalas]

Bill  froze, looking at the occupant in the other bed. He hadn't meant to make so much noise, but could he really help it if the covers crinkled a little or if the floor creaked a bit under his feet. Still, he hadn't exactly been quiet, had he?

"Sorry," he whispered, trying to tiptoe past the other occupant. Dylan, if he remembered right. He wondered how the other guy was holding up. Apparently okay, if he were in bed and not in the bathroom with razor blades. Bill wondered what had caused him to be that depressed. Even Bill had not thought of ending his life when Thomas had disappeared. Still, some people had debilitating depression, he knew. But why would anyone be depressed with Emil as their friend?

He reached the doorway, pausing there and looking back at the other occupant. With any luck, Dylan hadn't heard him and Lamar last night; but even so, he was sure that he should say something to the man.

"I hope you feel better," he mentioned, biting his lip lightly. He certainly didn't want the other man to die, especially after Emil had spent so much time last night coaxing him back from the edge.

[skeggsismad]

“Good…” Dylan mumbled, thinking that would be the last of it and whoever was bothering him would leave. But unfortunately, that was not the last of it. The voice spoke again and he let out a goran in protest, pressing the pillow harder against his face. Clearly, he wasn’t interested in a conversation at the moment. 

[Annalas]

Biting his lip at the other's groan, Bill mumbled an excuse and exited the room, leaving the door open a crack behind him. He wondered around the house, trying to remember where he left his laptop bag. Had he left it in Emil's car? He really hoped not--though that would give him the required excuse he needed to stay long enough for Emil to take him home.

He was caught between a rock and a hard place, he knew; he could walk home and most likely get jumped, or he could wait for Emil to (hopefully) take him home after sunset, thus forcing the topic of what he had done into the air. He knew Emil would be upset--he had to be upset, Bill knew that he would be.

The wooden floors creaked gently beneath his feet; he could only hope that Emil was sleeping so that Bill could escape--though not finding his laptop bag made it a bit harder to leave, that was for sure. He was growing more and more confident that he had accidentally left it in the car, to his dread.

[skeggsismad]

Emil didn’t need to sleep, and as a result of that, he spent most of the daylight hours lounging around the house, trying to find something to do. Often he’d be tidying up the place or caught up on the phone with the few of his friends that didn’t sleep all day. But one thing was for certain: daytime was Emil’s absolutely most disliked time. He felt so stuffed up; all of the windows had to be covered and he couldn’t leave. Not being able to walk out in the sunshine most would say was a small price to pay for immortality, but Emil might be the type that was inclined to argue.

He had thus far been waiting for his guests to wake up. He knew that some people had a set ‘time’ where people were supposed to wake up, but Emil’s attitude was, as long as you’re a guest you get to behave like a guest. Guests got to sleep in as long as they wanted. He was sitting in the enclosed patio, the heavy curtains drawn against the windows, reading a novel that one of his mortal friends had recommended. He was beginning to question that friend’s taste in stories; it seemed that ‘50 Shades of Grey’ was much more about sex than it was about anything the back of the book suggested. Much to his relief, he’d heard a door open in the main house. He couldn’t be sure it wasn’t just Dylan or Bill rushing off to a bathroom break, but he dared to walk inside of the house anyway, looking his head around.

“Mmm, is someone up?” Emil called out, unaware that the door to the guest bedroom was open (and consequentially he might also be waking Dylan).

He was dressed tonight showing less skin than he had been at the club; he wore a candy apple pink shirt and a tight black vest over it, paired with fitting black jeans of the same color and a glittering silver Star-of-David necklace that hung from his neck. His shoes were custom fit black leather that added a bit of class to the outfit, making it a touch more formal.

[Annalas]

Emil was not sleeping, Bill found to his dismay. Weren't vampires supposed to sleep during the day? Alas, it appeared that that was not the case with Emil, at least, leaving Bill in a very awkward position. He knew he had Emil had to talk about last night, but at the moment all he wanted to do was curl up and pretend he was still asleep--an obvious lie, since he was in the hallway at the moment and had gone to sleep  in the guest room.

"Yeah," he admitted after a long pause, his voice quiet and sheepish. He knew that Emil would hear him either way, unless the vampire's senses dulled during the daytime to that of a normal human's. Having never been around a vampire in the daytime, though, he really didn't know if that were true or not.

Bill stepped into the living room, the sheepish look still on his face. He supposed he should get this whole talk over with now, as well as his apology.

"Hi," he commented, biting his lip a bit as he glanced up from the floor to see Emil's reaction. Was he angry about last night?

[skeggsismad]

Emil had noted Bill’s expression, but he didn’t think much of it. Why, it would be pointless to ask Bill every time he looked a little down what was the matter when he had learned from experience that usually he’d been thinking about his brother or worrying about something. In this situation he thought it was best to change the subject and move things forward. Too, he was glad to finally have some company to chatter on at.

“Mmm, fantastic, pookie! Why I’ve been up for hours just dawdling around! Honestly, the day hours are terribly lonely. After Dylan got to bed I didn’t know what to do with myself- and not all of us sleep, you know. I’ve certainly never been able to sleep since the change! But I’ve heard of those who do, though it’s rather comatose I’d imagine. But enough of me, sweetheart. How about you? How are you doing honey, did you sleep well? Didn’t the clothes Lamar gave you fit- those look like the ones you were wearing last night? And, oh!  Are you ready for breakfast yet, or are you the type that takes a while after waking to gain an apetite?”

Obviously, Emil was a bit lonesome for company. He set a hand on Bill’s shoulder, pulling him close and leading him towards the kitchen, assuming he’d be preparing a meal for Bill (and possibly Dylan if he woke up soon).

[Annalas]

Bill wasn't sure whether he should be mortified or happy that Emil was pretending last night had never happened, chattering on at Bill quiet easily. Was it to cover up his anger so that he could vent it in another way? He would probably bring it up later, ayer breakfast, Bill imagined. Perhaps later that night, even. His stomach churned at the thought of how Emil might truly feel.

"Um," he started as he was lead towards the kitchen, not hungry in the slightest with the way his stomach was churning. "Emil…I want to…I have to apologize…for last night…"

His voice trembled, clearly uncomfortable with the situation. He didn't want to have this conversation, and it appeared that neither did Emil, since he was avoiding the topic entirely. But Bill knew that he, for one, wouldn't be comfortable until he apologized, and the sooner the better, honestly.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have…"

[skeggsismad]

The apology, or at least the attempt at an apology, caught Emil rather offguard. He crunched his eyebrows together and quickly flashed a sympathetic look, trying to guess that this apology could be about. He decided it was about the only logical thing that came to mind- Bill must have been embarrassed for having become upset after being told of all of the supernatural species out there. Too, he must has been slightly ashamed that he’d been too afraid to go home and had to stay the night. A polite boy like Bill must have guessed he was imposing!

Emil smiled, shaking his head and tsking his tongue at Bill.  He put both hands on the boy’s shoulder and looked him in the eyes, petting the side of his face in a comforting gesture.

“Oooh, Bill,” He cooed.

“I’m glad that you’re expressing your feelings, there is nothing wrong with that. It’s always alright to tell someone how you feel.” He started off by acknowledging the boy’s feelings, but now he had to move on to dismissing the assumptions Bill was making by having them.

“But Bill…you’ve got nothing to apologize for at all. You weren’t imposing by staying last night and I understand why you were upset after I told you that there were more species out there than you knew about. It must have been quite shocking, oh darling! I remember how it was like when I found out about everything. It’s overwhelming. But it’s nothing to be sorry about.”

He smiled at Bill, moving his hands away from the boy’s face and giving him a gentle pat on the back.

“Do you feel a little better now?”

He knew sometimes just getting what was on your chest out in the open did wonders.

[Annalas]

The touches were so soothing, something he so desperately needed at the moment…but he hadn't finished apologizing, at least not yet. He really hadn't thought he was imposing, since Emil had asked if he wanted to stay and he sort of depended on the vampire for a ride home. Honestly, he probably would have imposed more if he had demanded Emil take him home then, so close to sunrise. Well, it hadn't been that close, but it was better to not risk it, for sure.

"No," he admitted, selfishly leaning into the touches. "I mean…last night…you had to have heard…Lamar and I…"

It was difficult to say, but he had a feeling that Emil was going to remain willfully ignorant unless he explained the situation in detail. Even if Emil had miraculously not heard them, it was still better that he know, that Bill tell him so he didn't find out later in a bad way.

"It's really rude for me to sleep with your roommate when you invited me to stay the night," he gushed, knowing that if he didn't just come out and say it, he would probably dawdle around the issue all day. "And I don't know why I did and I'm really really sorry and I didn't mean to do it, it just happened. Lamar said you'd be really mad…since we're friends and all."

His voice broke a little at that, the look on his face tormented by what he thought Emil was probably feeling at the information. He had to have heard…right?

"Please don't be mad," he whispered softly, staring at Emil in hope, hope that the vampire would forgive him.

[skeggsismad]

If he could have, the vampire would have blushed. The situation he had just walked into make him uncomfortable and the emotion was evident in his face as he stared transfixed, eyebrows raised and mouth slightly ajar. He didn’t know quite how to appropriately respond to something like this.

Yes, he’d heard noises last night. He’d been talking to Dylan when he’d heard them and had realized that it was coming from the guest bedroom. The noises had not been loud enough for Dylan to catch onto them, but Emil had assumed the best of the situation. Lamar and Bill could have been doing anything in that bedroom and it didn’t necessarily have to be something dirty. He could have been giving Bill a massage- Emil didn’t know, so he didn’t assume.

Now to hear that Lamar had had sex with Bill in the guest bedroom, Emil simply could do nothing but absorb the information. He didn’t want to judge anyone’s sex life; it wasn’t his place. But Lamar had apparently said some things to Bill to insinuate he might be angry about it. Lamar had put him into the business that he never should have been involved with in the first place.

He brought his hand up to his forehead, rubbing it as he tried to buy himself some time.

“Let me tell you a story, pookie. When I was a young man growing up, before I became what I am today, I lived in Poland. Warsaw, to be specific. I met many beautiful women but I never married. It was the mid-eighteen hundreds and that was rather unusual. I had a lot of people question my lack of courting efforts. I tried to explain the reason- that I hadn’t found a woman I was enthused with, but my reasoning was discarded by others. They thought that I should live up to their standards. For a long time, I was bothered to tears by it. I wanted to please my family and friends. I was torn.”

“ But,” He said as he tilted his head to the side.  “Eventually I realized that wherever I’d go, I couldn’t get rid of myself. If I were to make a decision that went against who I was as a person, just to please someone else and what they thought I ought to do, I’d never be content. I couldn’t depend on others to approve or disapprove of my actions to know if it was the right thing to do. I remembered that only dead fish swim with the stream.”

He sighed.

“Bill…I know you feel like you did something that was terrible, but I want you to remember that your actions bare no reflection on me. If it’s something that your heart truly dictated, something that you wanted, then you have nothing to be ashamed of. I’d certainly never shame someone for following their true path. You can’t listen to anyone else to decide that for you. Not Lamar. Not me. Only you.”   

[Annalas]

It must have been hard to be gay in the eighteen hundreds, he reflected as Emil told his story. At least, he assumed from Emil's words that he was gay. Dating beautiful women would be a fairly common thing, but he  hadn't mentioned anything about men. Bill was fairly sure that it had been taboo to date men back then, which would explain why Emil hadn't dated any. His words about 'following their truth path' was a bit confusing, though, and Bill was sure that the emotion showed on his face.

Nevertheless, he felt the need to wrap his arms around the vampire, stepping close to do so. He needed reassurance right now, reassurance that Emil wasn't mad at him, though he had every right to be.

"I don't know what it was," he admitted quietly, clinging to the vampire. "It just was. It took my mind off of everything…I'm still not okay with it, but I'm better."

He had switched subjects at the end rather abruptly, and he hoped that Emil had kept up with the fact that he was talking about the existence of more supernaturals as opposed to not being okay with having sex with Lamar. Because to be honest, he wasn't sure how he felt about what had happened last night.

It had been unfulfilling. Having sex with David had been fantastic and left him feeling amazing, despite how the vampire had fed off of him. The tryst with Lamar had felt…he didn't know how to describe it, exactly. But those questions Lamar had asked…shouldn't he have asked them earlier…like before they had had sex?

The end had been good, he figured; though he hadn't exactly got to sleep in Lamar's arms, it had been close enough, and the other human hadn't rushed off immediately, which was rather nice. Still…it was unfulfilling, leaving Bill wanting more. Perhaps he should call up David when he got home. But alas, he couldn't do that so soon after being fed from. He had to wait three days at the very least, so he had time to recover. A week would be better.

There was a slight fear in him that perhaps sex with vampires had ruined him for sex with humans forever. He craved the feeling of being fed from during sex, like he had with David, who had made it so, so good. What if that was the only kind of sex he could have, now?

[skeggsismad]

All he knew in that moment was one thing: Bill needed him. He didn’t have many people to rely on and if he could be Bill’s emotional support, he’d do it gladly. When the youth crashed into him for a hug, Emil wrapped his arms around the boy as well, giving a firm bear hug. It was exactly what he thought Bill needed. Sometimes words just didn’t cut it.

“Oooh, Bill.” He spoke softly, rubbing up and down the boy’s back, not knowing what to say to make things better. Honestly he didn’t think there was anything he could say; Bill seemed to have mixed emotions about Lamar and he didn’t want to interfere with that.

“Things will work out the way they are meant to be. They always do.”     

[Annalas]

All was forgiven. Bill rested his head against Emil's as he clung to the other man, taking comfort in the embrace. He knew that it would end far before he was ready for it to, so he had to take comfort where he could. He relaxed into the embrace, almost purring in content, though they were still standing.

"I'm just so glad you aren't mad at me," he whispered softly, still clinging to the vampire. "Lamar said you were gonna be mad…and then he left. Did…did he say anything about me?"

Bill was unsure exactly what was going on between him and Lamar, but he had the painful feeling that it had been a one-time thing and that was it. He had done flings in the past--and indeed, was still doing them--but there was a different between the ones that would call and the ones that wouldn't…and he had a feeling Lamar wouldn't.