Sire 2.0

[Trillian]

If you had any consideration for what I wanted you would have stayed away.

Ben sneered as Ichabod shot back at him, but it was the truth. Kerr had given him the opportunity not to come along but Ben hadn't taken him up on it. What had he said at the time? Something along the lines of loving him and not wanting to be apart from him ever again. That was true as well, but he knew he was putting his own happiness above Ichabod's. He suspected if he hadn't come, then Ichabod would've thought of something sour to think about that as well. There was no winning with his fledge brother, so might as well do what he wanted.

That justifies it nicely, Benny boy
Hide the fact you're an asshole from yourself

He huffed and looked around the room he stood in. Why was he in Ichabod's room? Who cared if he was sharing his bed with someone? Ichabod had moved on. Why coulddn't he?

Because you care what he thinks about you
You care that he hates you
And because you can't make him like you, you make him hate you even more
So that way you're in control

Argh, that fucking voice of reason. Ben pushed it all the way down, turned on his heel and strode back towards the living room. He'd missed the exchange between Kerr and Ichabod after that mental jab Ichabod sent to him, because he'd been focussed on his inner thoughts. Same old.

[Existentially Odd]

Ichabod was clearly out of sorts and although he knew some mental interplay was afoot, Kerr didn’t think Ichabod’s unease was all to do with Ben. He was probably angry that Kerr was alive; oh, not in the sense he wished him dead, Kerr knew, but certainly because everything was upside down again and he’d probably been going along quite well in his own life without this whole dramatic intrusion.

The fact that he avoided talking about the mortal belonging to the scented apartment might mean they were insignificant but Kerr thought it likely the opposite. It was in Cub’s uncharacteristically crisp tone, the way he coveted his privacy by offering to put himself out rather than share details about his routine; he’d probably just got things the way he liked them and now it was ruined.

Well, too bad. It was what it was and if Ichabod had issues with it, Kerr would welcome him opening up and airing his opinions, rather than retreating behind polite defenses, leaving him guessing. He reached over and cupped Ichabod’s face, smiling lovingly at him despite his stern thoughts. Just because he wanted Ichabod to stand up for himself didn’t mean he loved him less.

“I owe you an enormous debt of gratitude, don’t I? You protected Ben and me by not discussing Themba and you persevered with Ben when you were both upset. And now, you’re willing to put yourself out for meetings, just because I’ve asked you to, without asking anything for yourself in return. You can tell me if it’s too much, you know,” he hinted.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod was already tense, waiting for another mental jab from Ben, but none came so he could actually focus properly on what Kerr was saying.

“What? No, that’s not… that’s not what I meant,” Ichabod said, confusion flickering across his face. Did Kerr think he had said those things just to get gratitude? To seek out his praise? He wasn’t just some puppy dog who wanted to be told he was a good boy.

Well… okay, maybe he had been at times.

“How would I know if the meetings were too much? Nothing’s arranged yet. And what would I ask for in return? Why would I ask for anything to help you get your life back together?” he said, pulling his face back from Kerr’s gentle touch and lifting his hand from where they had been entwined to run through his own short hair. What did Kerr think he wanted in return for helping? What could he ask for? You’re alive, that’s all I wanted.

“I’ve got nothing going on that can’t be rearranged,” he added outloud, before glancing over to where Ben had reappeared. He wondered whether it was their mental discussion which had brought him back or if Ben had just got bored of his rummaging around. He probably had all sort to rearrange to be able to fit in those meetings, dealing with the academy, making sure everything ran smoothly, attending classes, seeing people learn and thrive.

“It’s not like I’ve got an academy to run or anything.” Ichabod didn’t really mean for it to come out, it was just a thought that somehow popped out of it’s own accord, having been sat there festering for months. That whole discussion at the lawyers had spiralled out of control so quickly, from never being mentioned before to suddenly being the reason they hadn’t spoken since.

[Trillian]

For a moment Ben stood where he was in the connecting area between rooms as he considered whether to head for someplace to hang around in sight but apart from Kerr, or to make a claim on his sire by seating himself very close. His own thoughts had cautioned him into better behaviour and he saw no point in exchanging jabs. Maybe, with time (like, a few centuries or something), Ichabod and he would return to that place where they'd been polite to one another - if not best buddies.

He changed his mind when Ichabod angled another shot in his direction, only this time in the form of his Academy. In seconds he went through multiple responses and outcomes.

He could point out that Ichabod's shortsightedness and selfishness had been what kept the Academy out of his hands... but Ben had been selfish with Kerr's properties, so that wasn't the smoothest path.

He could snark back that Ichabod was jealous and blaming Ben for having ambition, something Ichabod could use a smidge of. But that reply might come out sounding snide and superior, and he had no doubt Kerr would chasitse him for it.

Or he could use the Academy as a segue to further demonstrate that Ichabod and Kerr had nothing together and Ichabod had done nothing to preserve Kerr's memory. Yes, that was the best one.

Ben turned to Kerr. "Speaking of the Academy, would you like to see it? Only the basement area's finished, but I can walk you through it. The foundation's been laid already." His silvery-blue gaze flicked to Ichabod and he presented his fledge brother with an expression of polite enquiry, (because a smile would be taking it too far), "Ichabod? Would you like to come as well? You're welcome to."

His brother didn't have the guts or the finesse to accept graciously. He'd probably refuse or even say something shitty, and then Ben and Kerr could leave him to cry into his pillow. Bye, Ichabod.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr watched Ichabod pull away and quailed in the wake of his... dismissiveness? Impatience? No, his assertiveness. It seemed to Kerr that he was becoming an afterthought, caught in between his fledglings, as Ichabod antagonised Ben (somehow).

“Sure,” he agreed to seeing the Academy. “That’d be-“ he trailed off as Ben invited Ichabod to accompany them. The challenge in his tone was clear, despite his pleasant words, and the air crackled with tension as they squared off.

Kerr closed his mouth and frowned, deciding to watch and see what unfolded; the road to peace was likely to be rough but he wouldn’t intervene unless it was absolutely necessary.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod met Ben’s cold gaze steadily. The offer was unexpected, but not surprising. Ben wanting to rub his nose into something he no doubt knew Ichabod would have loved to be a part of? Not exactly a new story. Ichabod’s only reasons for hesitation had been that Ben hadn’t mentioned it before asking for a mind-blowing amount of money (when two minutes earlier Ichabod had been imaging himself living on the streets) and the fact that Connor, who had known that Kerr had seen Themba and been incredibly unpleasant when they’d met, was involved. Ben hadn’t given him a chance to consider it before whisking it away from him.

He didn’t want to watch Ben lord it over him, giving Kerr the grand tour of a building site, drawing a mental imagine of everything he wanted to create, his monument to their sire. But Ichabod had just found out ten minutes ago his sire was alive and he’d be damned if Ben was going to take him away again so quickly. If the only time he’d get with Kerr was with Ben flittering around, then so be it.

“Yeah, I’ll come along. It’ll be interesting to see what you and Connor have put together so far.”

[Trillian]

He honestly hadn't expected Ichabod to accept. If he'd been paying attention, like Kerr had, he would've seen his fledge brother's newfound assertiveness and confidence. Ben remembered only Ichabod's mistrust and the complaints that had stemmed from it. He remembered only the wounded or suspicious looks whenever Ben had been polite or had his words misinterpreted. He remembered the way Ichabod had comforted him after Kerr was gone... but then the judgment of Ben's friendship with Murphy. He remembered how Ichabod had rolled over for him at the lawyers.

Ben studied Ichabod's face for any clues, but he didn't know Ichabod well enough to understand his expressions and moods. That was his fault, of course, for throwing him out of the beach house, for grabbing all of Kerr's possessions and cash, for shoving Ichabod out of his life and then shutting the door in his face. He'd made a few shitty attempts at friendship after that by visiting Ichabod at the Capital and then ignored him for six months in favour of having sexcapades with faux-Kerr.

He hadn't told Kerr about Connor, about how he'd helped to arrange everything, got the Ward up and running, and then recently mysteriously disappeared. Ben had taken in that information without giving the appropriate amount of mourning. Was Connor okay? He wasn't picking up his phone for anyone. He'd just... vanished. Much like Kerr. Maybe he was in another plane of existence, too. The thought made Ben laugh and he felt kind of crazy, staring at Kerr and Ichabod - who were giving him strange looks - and chuckling.

Connor's either run off (unlikely)
or on another plane of existence (unlikely)
or dead.

The reality of it hit him hard and sobered him instantly. The laughter died and he gave a nod instead of a smile because he couldn't manage that either.

"We'll go to Haven Crest first, because it's near here and where the Academy is temporarily working out of. I'm sure both of you will find it interesting. Then we'll go to the building site. Ichabod, will you be taking your own car or coming along with us?"

[Existentially Odd]

“Or we could drive with Ichabod?” Kerr intervened helpfully. There didn’t seem a point in summoning another car if Ichabod was willing to chauffeur. He raised his eyebrows encouragingly at his younger fledgling, hoping he’d be amenable. Kerr didn’t feel like being separated from either of his darlings, even if their company came with the notion that the pair of them were cling-wrapped in clone suits, playing a much older version of themselves beneath unfamiliar, glossy exteriors.

Just a few nights ago all three of them had clung together in one bed, united in their horror at almost losing Ben to Themba. Now they were circling each other like testy cats, waiting for a sign of vulnerability and Kerr was... bewildered. He wondered if he would run into Connor at this Academy of Ben’s. That might help cement reality for him a little more.

[Trillian]

//end.

Continued here: http://www.roleplaycity.com/forum/index.php?topic=7126.0 Tour Guide