Indoor Voices

[suneater]

Luke’s psychic avatar didn’t move in the slightest in the few seconds between question and answer.

“Sir, I am unable to define a ‘special asset’.”

He remained standing at attention, unblinking. The mental landscape (such as it was) remained still and unchanged.

[Black Philip]

Jake frowned, but wasn't overly discouraged. He realized that might be a lot for the construct to know. He changed his appearance and relaxed his Dominate link to as light as possible. He now looked like a young twink going to the club, short blue jean shorts, a tank top with a drag race queen on it, and a fake septum piercing.

"Come on Luke. Let's go to the club. You promised we could go out together."

He made his voice youthful, playful, like they were great friends. "Come on Luke, you're doing the solider thing again. Be yourself for a change. Jake reached to grab the soldier's hand, hoping that this new image might evoke a different reaction.

[suneater]

The soldier protocol appeared to diminish slightly as Jake loosened his hold on Luke's mind. His eyes were alert, rather than vacant, and he regarded this new iteration of Jake in puzzlement before he spoke. His confusion heightened and transformed into something almost pained. Almost simultaneously, the psychic landscape pulsed unlike ever before. This time there was sound to accompany the gravitic throbbing sensation, a roar like wind through a primeval canyon. Luke didn't seem to notice; he'd taken hold of his own head and was slowly sinking to his knees, his body trembling.

It happened again, and this time, the entire mental realm gave a tectonic shake. Jagged panes of darkness broke free and fell away from the void, plummeting from varied heights to shatter against the plane that they had been walking on. Only more darkness was revealed, but it seemed to be seeping a more liquid darkness.

In the midst of the chaos and cacophony, Luke began to flicker. His position remained the same - on his knees, clutching his skull, his features a rictus of agony. His form changed though, rapidly, almost too quickly to discern. One instant he was the soldier, and the next he seemed a few years younger, and wearing a bright blue wrestling singlet, and then after that he was a sandy-haired tween in a school uniform, and then almost himself, but dressed for a night on the town.

- - -

Outside the mental landscape, Luke had taken hold of his skull as well. Blood trickled from his nostrils, and his breathing was dangerously thready. His eyes, partially hidden behind his hands, were completely vacant, his pupils dilated absurdly.

[Black Philip]

Jake took in all the Luke's he saw, keeping them in his memory but once realizing the damage being done, devoted the power of Dominate to shielding the construct and trying to slow the degradation. He slowly backed out of Luke's mind, now propping up shields, blocks, logical redirects, anything he could to stop the mental bleeding. Once he had shielded Luke's fragile self as much as he could, he severed the link.

"Luke," he yelled, running over concerned and grabbing his hand. He let his aura suggest peace and calm and he tried to usher Luke into a gentle sleep. Jake feared that these assholes were much better at this than he first thought. It was almost like they programmed him to die if he remembered who he was. Jake could not do this alone. He needed magic, or a person who was better at Dominate than he was. He didn't want to hurt Luke anymore. Still, they'd gotten some good information out of the session and he wondered when Luke woke up what he'd be like, and what he'd remember.

[suneater]

Luke gasped the moment Jake ended the psychic excursion. His obscenely dilated eyes were wide and his features were etched with pain. The gasp gave way to a series of rapid, staccato breaths. He seemed to be regaining control quickly, though. Alertness returned, and he regarded Jake in confusion. "Wha... what... happened?" His ragged breathing made the slight slur to his voice even more obvious. He looked down at their joined hands, then up at Jake's face again. The bleeding seemed to have stopped, though the region between his nose and lips was stained with vitae.

"Did you... were you...?" He squeezed his eyes shut, and his grip on Jake's hand strengthened. He let out a hiss, and then a strained aahhhhhh. "Hurts," he explained, probably unnecessarily. He sank back into the couch, not having released Jake's hand. His hold had loosened to something more normal. "Not as bad as last time," he offered. "But the same. I looked into your eyes, and then... nothing."

He released Jake and shifted summarily to lie on the couch, not opening his eyes.

[Black Philip]

Jake's mind felt fine, but he was concerned for Luke, and held his hand willingly when he wanted it, and easily let it go when Luke withdrew it. They had learned a great deal, and he was uncertain but felt his mental wards were now at least partially protecting Luke's self state. Jake also had a grim hypothesis. Luke's mind was designed to kill him if he remembered. These people weren't ammeters. They were monsters.

He moved to the couch, but didn't touch the solider. Jake feared a violent reaction, or at best scaring him. He folded his hands in his lap as he studied the man before him. He'd made a decision. Either Charon or Sabrina was going to have to help.

"It's over now," he assured softly. "I won't reestablish the link. You don't remember anything?"

He wanted to tell the man all he'd learned; Project Twilight, the various Luke's, the term special asset, but for now he just wanted to comfort him, and help him recover.

[suneater]

Luke shook his head gingerly, eyes still closed. “No. It was just like before. Lost time.” He let his hands rest on his flat stomach and continued to breath in an even, easy rhythm.

“What happened? What did you see?” Curiosity and need made his voice raw, and he cracked one eye open to look over at the vampire. His expression was somewhere between frightened and hopeful. The fact that Jake hadn’t already told him was a little worrisome.

[Black Philip]

Jake listened as Luke recounted his lack of awareness during the link,  not surprised that he'd been unaware. It made sense although he'd been hopeful for more than that. They would need to space out there sessions. Luke didn't need anymore damage being done to his fragile mind, and Jake considered that next time that all he might do is put guards and shields in place to protect Luke. He considered what he should tell him first, and decided to go with the better of the news he had to give.

"Well, I learned the name of the people doing this to you, Project Twilight. I'm going to run that name and see if they are connected to any other vampire hunters or government agencies. I also learned you are what's called a special asset, but I wasn't able to find out exactly what that is."

Now for the bad parts. He took a deep breath. "I think the people who did this to you made it so that if you remember too much or if people try that your mind will try to kill you. Both times you've been in pain is when I dug too deep or got something they didn't want me to see. This time... I made myself a cute gay human and asked you to come out with me. I based it on how I saw you look at me during our fight. Well, I saw a whole bunch of earlier you's. You had a life Luke. I saw pieces of it."

He wasn't sure how he'd take any of this, but remained in his position. He wasn't scared of him.

[suneater]

As the haze of pain diminished, Luke found himself feeling vulnerable splayed out on the couch like he was and didn’t really care for it. He tried to sit up but had barely lifted his shoulders when seemingly every ounce of blood in his body began pounding through the blood vessels in his head. He closed his eyes again to shut out the sight of the suddenly-swimming room.

Project Twilight. He turned the name over and over in his mind, hoping that something might shake loose. Nothing. The revelation that he had once been called a special asset was similarly ineffectual. He didn’t like the way Jake paused and drew an unnecessary breath though; he managed to keep himself from urging the youthful-looking vampire to spit it out.

Whatever he’d been expecting, Jake’s recounting hadn’t been it. His right eyebrow cocked up when Jake mentioned disguising himself as a cute gay human and trying to… get him to come out? He almost let out a hoarse laugh, but Jake’s follow-up drained the situation of any absurd mirth it might have had.

I based it on how I saw you look at me during our fight.

Luke felt something in his stomach sink. His memories of the battle were hazy, and clearly Jake had walked away from it with some interesting impressions. A frown etched itself onto his face, and even though he felt like he should, he couldn’t quite bring himself to open his eyes and look over at his host. He was aware of how he tended to get when he lost control, and he was also aware that there was usually some basis for it. If Monster Luke had been eyeing Jake, then that meant…

Nope. Nope nope nope. He was laid low on a couch after an invasive psychic therapy session. This wasn’t the time to unpack the mixture of shame, confusion, and panicky fear that he was now going to expertly compartmentalize. He forced himself to mull over what Jake had said, including the earlier yous, desperately hoping some memory would dislodge to help make sense of the situation (and steer the conversation elsewhere).

He came up empty. He was already in pain, and he could feel mental fatigue setting in. He might have been checked out, but whatever Jake had done must have had his grey matter in overdrive.

“I wish I could say anything helpful.” He sounded tired and a little defeated. “Nothing is ringing any bells. But, thanks.” He cracked his eyes open and turned his head just enough to regard Jake. “For doing this. For… everything.” 

[Black Philip]

Jake took the risk and ran his hand along Luke's flank, his intent to be comforting and reassuring. He'd put Luke through a horrible ordeal, and even though they'd learned some things it didn't seem worth the suffering. He was determined to help Luke, his own emotions a mix of anger and sadness. He also felt a little guilt at all the minds he'd controlled over the years. Vampires truly did normalize monstrous things. He debated their next steps, and he decided Luke couldn't just sit in his room and workout. He needed a new purpose.

"No problem. I am really glad we fought."

He had military training, and a watchful eye. He was detached in a way that was counter to Jake's hyperbolic emotions. That could be good for him. He was tough. Lisa-Joe would learn to love that. He'd treated Sam right, and he guessed even Lazarus would struggle to get a rise out of him. He began to plot the man's future. If he didn't have his old memories, then the best thing was to help him make new ones.

"When you're feeling up to it, I'd like to meet with you again."

He wanted to pitch his idea to him when he was calmer. Now was not the time to talk about the future.

[suneater]

Luke barely flinched at Jake’s touch; it was only visible in the slight pulse of the muscles behind his cheeks as his molars came together. It was hard to find any solace at the touch, particularly given the train of thought he had just attempted to derail. He’d be lying to himself if he claimed that Jake didn’t appeal. If they’d met under different circumstances, Luke probably would have been completely smitten, falling over himself to earn even a scrap of the eternal twink’s attention. He couldn’t help but wonder if that attraction was a holdover to who he had once been or if it was something new, born of his cobbled together memories and personality.

Jake would have seen Luke lose focus as he became lost in thought and created what probably amounted to an uncomfortable six seconds silence following his daring touch. He managed a wan, uncertain smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes for Jake’s benefit. He sat up a bit, accepting assistance from Jake if it was offered.

“Right. Sure. For now I think I should get some rest.” His thin smile grew a bit apologetic because he knew he was making an excuse. He wanted some solitude, and hopefully, some sleep. He was already going to have to rustle up some pain-killers – maybe he’d try to cadge some consciousness-killers while he was at it. He tentatively shifted his weight to swing his legs off the couch, and this time, he reached for Jake’s hand to help himself up.

[Black Philip]

Jake didn't move during the pause, feeling committed to his reassuring gesture. He wasn't sure how to help Luke, was beginning to feel awkward. He supposed he had no reason to think Luke would find his touch comforting. Lazarus had made him seen like an easy slut, and they'd met in a fight. Still, he felt drawn to Luke. Maybe that's why he reached out to him. He said yes to Jake's request for another meeting, and made a mental note to do it after Charon's big party. Oh wait! He then had an idea. He could test out what he had planned.

"This may seem odd, but I'm going to a big open party soon with lots of supernaturals. I was wondering if you'd be my bodyguard for the night."

He wished he'd just asked him to go as friends but he though Luke might say no that way. Once Luke answered his question he'd lead him to the door. Another young Brujah waited to take him back to his room, and Jake shut and locked his door. His mind was curious as to what would happen next between them.