Kerr's hand stilled momentarily, his notes about Ben's beginnings halted as the vampire's final comments registered. He didn't look up but Ben would no doubt be able to tell he was blushing because even the tops of his ears felt hot. He cleared his throat subtly, trying to sound nonchalant as he threw an offhanded comment at Ben.
"Yeah well, lot of good it does me," he muttered, trying to deflect the conversation away from what he might have experienced with Ben. He might have actually felt what it was like to bury himself inside someone for once, instead of taking things sooo slowly he almost fell asleep before he got anywhere and being careful only to put his tip in - or, if he was really lucky, to go in as far as was comfortable for his partner. Most men, when it got right down to it, were scared of his cock; he rarely got to be on top and he never got to let loose. His size was a curse more often than a blessing.
A vampire might've been different, might've allowed him to relax enough to enjoy himself fully, might've healed any damage he did before it even became an issue so they'd have both had a fantastic time for once in his life. It wasn't right to want sex with a vampire, it made his skin crawl at the perversion even as his heart fluttered with the thrill of doing something so wrong but... ah fuck. He needed to stop thinking like this. It wasn't enough that Ben had to keep teasing him, now he was joining in and torturing himself with 'might've's and thoughts of how good fucking an aberration could be? He was sick to even like the idea of it.
Kerr took a breath and squared his shoulders, looking at what he'd written.
- tavern boy
- Lazarus travelling through
- cleaned the room
- found out he was a vampire
- willing to do more, got swapped out?
"So you were willing to become a vampire?" he guessed, deliberately choosing a version of Ben's words that wasn't filthy in nature. Even if he was wrong, at least his guess wouldn't lead to more embarrassment on his part.