Author Topic: Let Me Down Slowly  (Read 211 times)

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Offline Idrial

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Let Me Down Slowly
« on: June 16, 2019, 02:09:29 PM »
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It was a calm night to take a walk back to Central, the air felt cool but it wasn't unbearable for the two vampires walking down the street. The sky had some cloud cover, but the moonlights reflection off them created a beautiful ambience in the sky. Maria felt closer to her deities at this moment and it gave her the courage to speak to Sam. It was not an easy topic and it was one Maria hadn't had to touch on for quite some time, yet she had faith that everything would turn out fine in the end, no matter the struggle that plagued Samantha. She was not one to give up, taking a break sure, but Sam never truly gave up, it was one of the qualities that Maria admired about her short little friend.

"I spoke with Jake tonight. Anything you want to tell me Sammy?" Maria felt Sam cringe without even looking at her friend.

"Yes," slowly explaining what had transpired at the academy opening. Maria listened intently and right away Maria could tell Sam was still confused at what had transpired.

"You do realize you basically told Jake he was unfit to lead?" Maria pointed out to Sam quite bluntly, causing Sam to look up at Maria in shock, eyes and mouth wide open.

"I didn't-! I didn't mean that! I meant he had an option-" finally it clicked in Sams head and shame washed over her like a tidal wave. The way Sams face cracked in pain made Maria put an arm around Sam and pulled her in close, their jaunt slowly becoming a stroll.

"What are you struggling with Samantha?" There was an awful silence after Maria spoke and Sam took a deep breath in and finally answered Maria.

"Myself..." Sam couldn't even look at Maria when the answer fell out of her mouth, but soon a river of words started to flow. Sam couldn't stop speaking her mind in front of Maria, no matter how hard she would have tried. It would have felt wrong not to confide in Maria.

"I feel a lot of things and I'm not sure where to start. Ever since Jake and Bens rape I've been out of sorts, I don't feel confident at all. I just feel vulnerable and I'm second guessing myself or not thinking at all. I feel myself slipping again."

"I didn't say anything because I thought I would have been fine on my own... but I underestimated dealing with that dark part of myself again too. I'm having trouble dealing with it," her voice became a whisper. Trying to keep the tears at bay as Sam continued to speak.

"I thought I was done-" Maria interrupted Sam before she could finish her sentence, trying to be soft in her approach with Sam.

"You are no longer human Sammy, the same darkness you once mastered as a mortal no longer exists in that cage you made. You have to learn everything all over again, you have the  beast in you now," it pained Maria to tell Sam this but it needed to be done.

"New challenges await you as a vampire, you will encounter hunger spells, along with other banes. But remember Sammy, just because you falter does not make you a bad person, you have support and people who truly love you," letting those words sink into Sam for a moment before Maria continued speaking.

"I am glad that you do cling to your humanity as a newborn baby clings to a mother. That is why I believe at your core self, you truly are a nice and gentle person, even if you fall to the beast or make mistakes. I just hope that your kindness and empathy will always be extended to everyone, and it never becomes just for a select few." 

"Promise me you will talk to Jake about what you're feeling. And just let Jake come to you Sam, if he needs your help he will come to you." Sam nodded in agreeance with Maria and she would learn from this lesson, even if it was the hard way and Sam fell silent.

"Do you like teaching Sammy?" Trying to keep Sam talking and Maria was genuinely interested in Sams answer.

"I do like it a lot, it's one of the few things that make me feel sane right now. Even though it's straight theory my students enjoy it and I enjoy my students. They're all smart in their own way," it was the first time Maria seen a smile creep up on Sam's lips.

"Have you ever thought about teaching a practical class along with your theory class?" Maria asked Sam with extreme curiosity and at the same time, Maria let her arm fall away from Sams' shoulders.

"I do have other slots I need to fill at some point, but I don't know what I would teach for a practical class." Trying to get the wheels turning in her head, but it just wasn't working right now.

"You ever thought about perhaps teaching a fighting or self-defence class?" Sam straight up laughed at Maria and shook her head slightly as the laughter died down.

"Maria, I haven't been in a proper ring since Uni and that was before I was embraced. I'm out of practice," shrugging her shoulders.

"But you've always kept up with it, even if it has been in private. Don't you think maybe you have a style all your own you could teach?" Hinting at the fact Maria knew parts and pieces of Sams ability to combine dance and fighting styles.

"I guess. I'm just not sure how to make it into a class," shrugging her shoulders yet again at the idea.

"You think about and it will come to you. I know this outlet worked for you in the past. You had a lot more control over your impulses, you stopped to think and picked the right moment to strike. You learned to channel your anger a lot better and used it in a way that benefited you." Maria her sentence with a small smile towards Sam.

Sam didn't agree or dismiss the idea Maria had proposed, it had been a rough night for everyone and Sam just needed some time to think. She didn't like the idea that she could no longer identify as a human, a humanoid creature maybe, and that alone made Sam uneasy. What mistakes would she make now? Would she always remain this close to her humanity or would she fall? In the end, Sam had no answers for herself and was left with many unanswered questions, she has to talk to Jake, once things had cooled off, again. Sam just wanted to go sleep, start a new day and perhaps give more thought to Maria's idea.