Home Sweet Home

[suneater]

He felt Drew withdraw. The sudden shift in energy was so strong it was almost physical, like a sudden wall between them, or a shift in gravity. Zeph's didn't realize he'd been clenching his jaw, as if bracing for a blow, until his teeth started hurting. When the vampire actually withdrew, it was even worse. He was left naked on the ground, exhausted and cold, without so much as a hand to help him up. It was the first time Drew had ever made him feel like shit, and he hadn't been ready for it at all, particularly in the wake of what had just transpired.

He picked himself up and followed numbly, looping his arms around his own chest for both protection and worth. He took the blanket when it was offered, wrapping it around himself like a cape, and then sat down himself. Being warm helped, but he was regarding Drew with wary thoughtfulness.

He did a little more thinking (a process that was perfectly visible on his features) before he spoke. "I just... I don't even know where to start, I guess. I really like you, Drew, and yeah, I want you to be part of my life." His features softened a little; he let go of some of the hurt he was feeling. He would have been so much happier to have this conversation wrapped up in Drew's arms, using his chest as a pillow. "You already are. I want to be your boyfriend. I..." He chewed at his lip for a few seconds. "I'm scared, Drew. I've never felt like this about anyone, and that was before, you know..." His hand moved to brush his neck, the exact spot where Drew's fangs had sunk into his flesh. "I already felt like I was getting a little lost in you and now I just... it's scary. Not bad scary. Like... base diving scary." He sighed.

"I don't have any rules, Drew. Like... just be you, and care about me. That's enough for me. If you have rules..." His fingers worried the edge of the blanket. "Well, I think I'm okay with that. I just don't know what they are, but I feel like maybe you have them, cuz you... kinda were just an asshole right now. It sucked. But I don't think you were trying to hurt me so I just want to understand."

He drew the blanket more tightly around himself. He was covered completely, save for his neck and head. His sky blue eyes still radiated some of the pain, but more than anything it seemed like he was trying to connect with Drew by their gazes, to regain the cohesion they'd had during feeding and fucking.

[Black Philip]

Why am I such a piece of shit?

That was my thought as I looked at how much I was upsetting Zeph. I guess I hadn't realized how sensitive he would be. When he first started talking I assumed this was the beginning of the letdown. He was saying things like, "I want you to be a part of my life" and "I really like you." Those sounded mad like friend zone, so I was surprised when he said he did want to me boyfriend and that he'd never felt this way before. I guess, I was still confused about what exactly he wanted.

I shouldn't have asked right after the feeding. He was obviously very affected by it. I did my best to listen and not look as disagreeable as I'd been before. Sometimes I feel like this generation is too emotional and thinks too much. Don't get me wrong. I'm not advocating to burn books. I read quite a bit. But sometimes people make things that are simple and let their brains overly complicate them.

Being a PI is half thought and half gut. You have six seconds to think of what to do next and if you're not sure then the moment passes you by. You've lost the clue. The cops solved it first, and your bills don't get paid. As I thought about me and Zeph, I reviewed the facts. I like him. He likes me. The sex was hot. The company was warm and complementary, and most of all until today it felt easy. To me, all the facts said we're a match. I knew he was right that I was being an ass, and I moved closer and wrapped my arm around the blanket cocoon.

"I'm sorry. I... I'm kind of a dick. I also thought you were saying no to me. I'm glad you're not. As for rules, I didn't have any. I'm not controlling of guys. I just want to know that there's some part of us that's for us. Maybe that means monogamy, at least at first, and it definitely means a label. I like labels. They're great clues most of the time. If you're my boyfriend, I don't want you to be other people's boyfriend too. Is that too much to ask?"

I couldn't look at him. I was too nervous. I just didn't want to end up in some vague territory where we're allegedly together, but the boundaries were so unclear that we could hurt each other. I thought of Dreki. Could I have just fucked him and never told Zeph about it. Was that what he wanted? I thought about things playing out that way and it made me feel sick. That's just not the kind of relationship for me.

[suneater]

Zeph smiled softly when Drew apologized. He hadn't wanted one, but getting it unspooled warmth inside his chest. When Drew slung an arm around his burrito'd form, he wriggled, nestling close and resting his head against the vampire's right pec. If his arms were free, he probably would have reached up to pull Drew's hand into his hair. He wanted his hair played with, but he was so snug and warm that he didn't bother voicing the desire.

"Labels are fine." His voice was quiet, sleepy. The bite and the sex had left him exhausted. He didn't really care about labels. He found the way people fretted over them silly most of the time, as if dubbing someone their partner or their soul-mate or their fuck-buddy fundamentally changed the realities of the relationship. "What we have is what we have," he imparted drowsily, giving voice to the thoughts that skirted the surface of his mind. He yawned, and the bundle of Zeph shifted in a way that might seem like he was trying to stretch his back.

"Guess you're stuck with me, boyfriend" he murmured. He closed his eyes, offering Drew a glimpse of his features in repose. "From now on you can only bite ugly dudes though, unless you're biting me." His tone was light, teasing, but as he said the words he realized that he wasn't really kidding. Something in his soul had lurched at the thought of Drew doing what they had just done with someone else. He had only really thought of Drew feeding along the lines of his own dietary habits.

One of his eyes opened, and he tilted his head so he could peer up at Drew. "How much do you need usually?" There was a note of hesitation in the query, some fluttering nervousness. "If it isn't a lot... you can always just use me." He swallowed. "It feels weird imagining you giving all that to someone just to... eat." There was some commotion beneath the blanket, and then Zeph's arm popped out and he reached across his own chest to hold Drew's hand. "I don't know if that's realistic but I guess if we're talking about stuff that's just for us, I wanted you to know how I feel."

[Black Philip]

Boyfriend

I liked the sound of that, and then a rare thing happened. I smiled. Don't get me wrong. I smirk, snort, and even grin wryly, but I never smile ear to ear and with teeth. Zeph would notice this change. I flopped my body on top of his, feeling his warmth beneath the blankets between us. I hated those blankets for the moment. They were between me and mine. I kissed him, more to seal the relationship than out of lust. I was starting to get hard again, but that was because blankets or not I could still feel Zeph's toned body. I wasn't going to insist for another round, but I wouldn't turn it down either. When he asked me to only feed on ugly guys I felt guilty for Dreki again. Dreki was not ugly, although not as sexy as Zeph by any means. Should I tell him? I decided not to ruin the moment but I would tell him eventually. The irony that the PI was advocating for no secrets was laughable to me. I nodded agreement but then I considered a complication.

"So I plan on feeding on you as much as I can," I admitted, licking his neck and pinning his hands down. "But I need to drink alcohol fused blood or... well... my human years weren't the best. It's a side effect. I don't want you drinking. I can feed on drunk bums and chicks though. And maybe stoned blood with work too. We can try it."

I realized I hadn't exactly answered his request and so followed up. "I promise you're the only stud I'm feeding from from now on... stud. But no other fangs in your neck. Got it?"

I let my voice sound commanding. I wouldn't be cool sharing the tastiest of morsels with some ancient or pretty boy with a Lestat complex. Zeph's blood was all mine now.

[suneater]

Zeph mirrored and amplified Drew's smile, beaming at him until the kiss came. He yielded to it, made his mouth wet and receptive. He enjoyed Drew's weight bearing down on him, and the fact that he was hard again. He was too spent to do anything about it, but it felt wonderful pressing into him.

When Drew restrained his hands and trailed his tongue along his neck, Zeph gasped. He felt his heart hammering in his chest. He wondered if it would happen again, so soon. He wondered if he would be able to bear it. He wanted to find out. He stirred against Drew and turned his head to the side, offering unfettered access to the blood beneath his pale, soft flesh. He realized he was hard again. The erection was painful but plenty rigid.

"I do drink sometimes." There was a delay between Drew's question and his reply. It took him that long to find the words. He turned his head again and leaned to press a kiss to Drew's mouth. His movements were restricted enough that he only managed to brush their lips together. "I'm all yours," he whispered. His smile was shy. He couldn't stop thinking about it- every facet of it. He wanted to see what it looked like when Drew drank from him. He wanted to know how it felt to him, too. He wanted Drew to fuck him and feed from him at the same time. He wanted Drew to make him cum while his fangs were in his neck.

He made a soft, needy sound and rolled into Drew, burrowing up against him.

"I'm kind of hungry," he said softly. "But I don't want to move."

[Black Philip]

When Zeph accepted my terms I felt satisfied and content. For once something in life came easy to me. I now had a cute boyfriend who I'd be exclusive with, and I did it by being myself. I knew we still had a few hurdles to overcome, and telling Zeph I'd been hired to follow him was the largest. Would he even care at this point, or had I made it worse by waiting this long to tell him? I decided that was a tomorrow night problem, and decided a better use of my time was grinding into him. I kissed back when his lips brushed mine, and kept my hold firm on his wrists. I needed a drink, the soft afterglow of sex beginning to give way to other cravings. I figured if we waited a few hours and Zeph had some food and water I might be able to feed again, and maybe this time I could make sure he did a few shots of whiskey first. His cute complaint of hunger solidified the plan, and I rolled off him but kept one arm around his waist.

"Well do you have a food ap or something? The last time I ordered pizza I called on a rotary." Oh, god. That sounded like such a dad statement. I needed to follow it up with something that sounded more like bad ass vampire. "Besides, I like hunting for my food." I gave a predatory glance like he was my food, and of course ironically he was. Still, it was a lot sexier than "rotary."

"I could also run out and grab you something if you want to stay here and chill."

Boyfriend of the year on day one, I thought, as I looked at Zeph's pretty face.

[suneater]

Zeph's face scrunched up. "Rotary?" The word came slowly; it was obviously his first time saying it. He still looked a little perplexed as he shifted his mental gears to food. Drew's attempt to be dangerously sexy didn't quite penetrate his multi-tasking confusing.

"Oh, um, yeah. On my phone. Which is in my pants. Which are downstairs."

He pouted, but then he leveled a puppyish, timid grin Drew's way. "If you get it for me you won't have to run out, but you get mad credit for offering." He nuzzled against Drew's arm, eyes still wide and beseeching as he looked up at him.

[Black Philip]

I rolled off Zeph completely, thinking my offer of food was more satisfying than my dangerous comments. I disengaged from him, but made sure to be more careful than my abrupt split from downstairs. I knew now Zeph was sensitive. I rose and dressed, not minding that I needed to go downstairs. Zeph looked like snug as snug can be.

"Be right back," I informed and made my way down to grab Zeph's phone. I found it easy enough, and the PI in me made me take a look at the locked screen. A few missed messages were there, and the rapidness with which they were coming in made me curious. I saw my answering machine flashing. This wasn't good. I made my way over and pushed play.

Sullivan. Call me back now.
Click.

The voice belonged to Zeph's father. Fuck... Perhaps I'd be telling Zeph about the spying tonight after all. I grabbed a handle of whiskey and made my way back up and handed Zeph his phone, watching to see his reaction. Were the messages from his dad too, or a coincidence? The result would dictate my next move.

[suneater]

Zeph flopped backward onto the bed as Drew departed. His lips had curved in a soft grin, and he closed his eyes and let himself enjoy his blanket cocoon. His body still felt battered and raw, but it was easy enough to let his mind go blank and simply bask in the warmth and comfort. If he’d been left that was for any stretch of time, he might have drifted off to sleep.

His eyes cracked open when he heard Drew re-enter the room, and he sat up, shuffling his arm out of the blanket to accept his phone. He unlocked it with his fingerprint and immediately rolled his eyes. “Sorry, one second.” He freed his other arm as well and fired off a rapid, somewhat lengthy text. When he was finished, he dropped his phone disdainfully on the mattress and flopped back.

“My dad freaks out if I don’t text him back immediately. He basically thinks I’m either gonna get murdered or reveal I’m a nymph at any moment and it is such a draaaaaaag.” Annoyance had crept into his tone, mixed with real frustration. “It’s just like… I get it, they want the best for me, fine, but he acts like cuz he’s paying my bills I basically have no freedom and it just sucks.”

His petulance dissipated and he looked up at Drew solemnly. His brow creased. “He can’t find out I’m dating a vampire. I think just me dating an older guy would freak him out enough to make me come home, and this is soooooooo much worse than that.” His lips pressed together, and he reached for Drew’s hand. “I’m not like, ashamed of you or anything, he’s just totally mental when it comes to this stuff. Is… is that okay?”

[Black Philip]

I had an idea. It may not work, but might allow me to date Zeph with his dad's knowledge that I'm around his son without disclosing that we're dating. I made a mental note to call back later and offer to be Zeph's bodyguard. His dad was overprotective enough to entertain the idea. I could get paid to eat and fuck his son, and all I'd need to do is protect him, which I'd do anyway! It would be tough to pull off but it made me money, got me the guy, and meant Zeph wouldn't have to tell his dad we were dating.

I felt guilty though. I mean, shouldn't I just tell him I'd been paid to follow him and that's why we met? He deserved to know that sort of thing. I knew I should, but as I looked at him so peaceful and sweet all I said was, "Don't worry. I won't tell him we're dating."

Relationships are supposed to be built on trust, or so I've heard. Guess I'm willing to roll the dice and see what happens. I flopped down next to him and wrapped him up in my embrace. "This is going to be good for us," I told him, believing it was true at the time.

[suneater]

Zeph rolled his eyes at what, to him, just sounded like Drew being cheesy. He bumped against Drew, playfully adding to his show of mock-displeasure, but then softened and let Drew's strong arms enfold him.

"It's already good for us," he corrected a bit sleepily. For a moment it seemed like he was ready to drift off. His body stilled, and his breathing grew deeper and more regular... and then his stomach let out an audible growl.

"Oh yeah." He sat up a bit and began fiddling with his phone, calling up a delivery app and scrolling through options. His tongue poked past his lips just slightly as he concentrated on the slew of options presented by ordering food in an unfamiliar neighborhood. His mouth fell open to ask Drew for recommendations, but he realized before he started that his vampire boyfriend wasn't going to be much help on that front.

"Hmmmm maybe Thai? I can always use more noodles in my life. Ooh, this place has four-and-a-half stars..."

Drew would be treated to narration of Zeph's convoluted ordering process, which culminated in an order of vegetarian pad prihk king, some dumplings, and a thai iced tea. He couldn't help but grin boyishly as he added Drew's address to the app. There was something cute and official about doing so that made him want to dance. Instead, he tossed his phone aside and flopped back against Drew.

"So um can I ask how come you don't have like... furniture and stuff? This place is kind of grim."

[Black Philip]

Normally, people who talk a lot annoy me, but for Zeph I didn't mind being the captive audience member. Oh sure, about the third time he mentioned the different kinds of noodles he could get I started to let my mind wander, but I wasn't in it so much for the words he was saying as just watching him express himself. There was a joy to almost everything he did, and it contrasted with my usual rain cloud. I wasn't much help with the ordering process. It's been a while since I ate solid food, and I don't think I ever tried Thai. It was like the new fancy Chinese food or something. As Zeph described the various options, I felt a desire to try it. I know I never could. It would taste like ash and make me vomit. But that's how good a salesperson Zeph was; he sold me something I would never be able to use just by talking about it.

When my place was mentioned, my brow furrowed a bit, and I looked around at my lack of stuff. It was a big contrast to Zeph's place for sure. I considered his question.

"Ummm, I guess I work so much I'm never really home. I meet clients downstairs but most nights I'm prowling in some alley watching someone. Besides, I grew up in foster care. I've never really owned anything expect my bike and jacket."

It wouldn't satisfy him. That I knew. I half expected to come back and find a few potted plants and mood lights installed. The best part about it was this; because it would be Zeph doing it I knew I'd like any changes he came up with. He had the effect of making me happy, despite my best efforts to stay sulking.

Once the food was ordered I wrapped him up tight, and kissed the back of his neck. Hopefully we could just lay here till his food arrived. It was nice like this.

[suneater]

Wrapped up around Zeph the way he was, Drew would no doubt detect his restless movements.

"I grew up in foster care. I've never really owned anything except my bike and jacket."

The words had stuck in him like a splinter. He realized all at once that he knew almost nothing about Drew, other than that he was a vampire, a private eye, and a stone-cold hottie who was into him. Even if Drew hadn't been frozen in time for years, he was still older, still had that many more experiences, that much more baggage. He frowned.

Drew couldn't see his face, but it was screwed up in thoughtfulness. A cavalcade of questions were bouncing around in that pretty head of his, and he wasn't sure at all which to begin with. Their interactions up until now had all been so intense- Drew rescuing him, the fallout from his trip to Venture, sharing his blood. There hadn't really been time for exposition, and now that it occurred to him, Zeph wanted to know everything.

"Sorry," he said softly. "I didn't mean... you know... to shame you or anything." He reached up, twining his warm fingers in Drew's cold ones. "Did you know your family at all? I don't really know much about foster care." His glimpses of it came primarily through television, and he'd learned over the years to take those bits of knowledge with heaping tablespoons of salt. "What was it like?"

[Black Philip]

I didn't expect Zeph to pursue the foster care thing. Dammit. Fuck. I hate talking about my upbringing. Who wants to hear a sad story about someone else's bullshit? Not me. Keep it moving sob story. I got work to do. I tensed up at the idea that he'd shamed me. I went a little cold.

"I'm not ashamed of anything," I said more forcefully than intended. I took a deep breath to calm my nerves. "What I mean is... I don't feel bad about coming out of the system." There, that was better. I rolled over, practically burying Zeph under my chest.

My mind was racing through memories, each more stupid than the last. My first good recollections were in high school, and even then they were only a few. I saw group home after group home, and more than a few shitty foster parents. I saw violence, and rape, and drugs, oh so many drugs. Zeph's pot habit was nothing compared to me on smack. Even now, a different species and clean from it since the change, I feared one slam and I'd be right back down the hole. That was foster care for me. I knew Zeph could never comprehend all that. His dad literally hired a spy to watch him. Mine didn't even name me.

The worst part was I had no idea how to tell Zeph any of this. I wanted him to know. I wanted to just do what the self help books say and speak my truth or whatever fuckery, but I couldn't. I ended up getting out - after a long pause, "No. I never met them. It was okay." Then, I was silent, and I desperately hoped Zeph would change the subject. Well... that's not quite true. One part of me hoped that, but another part hoped Zeph would force me to be an adult and have a feeling. I wanted to show him I was capable of it.

[suneater]

Zeph could be oblivious, but it didn't take much observational skill for him to realize how intensely uncomfortable his line of questioning had made Drew. Guilt prickled his gut, and he gave the man's hand a fond squeeze. He swallowed, not sure how to move forward from there. He didn't want to push; he had no right to Drew's past, not yet. But he wasn't sure how to escape the subject. It seemed to have its own gravity.

"Sorry," he finally whispered. "I just, well, I want to know more about you. You know, when you're ready."

A faint grin limned his lips. "How about insteeeeaad you tell me... hmm... what your favorite color is?" He twisted a bit, craning his neck so he could look at Drew without breaking their embrace. "I'll ask you a question, then you ask me a question. Truth or truth, basically." His grin grew impish, and he waggled his eyebrows. "We can move on to dares again after I eat."