To Date Or Not To Date

[pinkroses]

Murphy didn’t protest as Jake’s leg came to rest against his. He knew Ben and Jake didn’t like one another, so respected that Jake didn’t want to talk badly of him in front of Murphy. But what he was saying didn’t make sense, he was skipping important bits which was frustrating. It was like he wanted Murphy to ask more, despite making it obvious he didn’t want to talk about Ben.

“Why would you threaten him after a conversation which sounds like it should have had a positive ending, even if you didn’t mean to follow up? What aren’t you telling me?” he asked with a frown. Fuck, he just wanted to get past this shit, get out the bits Charon had made him think about, then they could maybe move onto getting to know each other properly.

He nodded as Jake explained about Lazarus. It made sense. That first night had all been so quick and when they went to feed – well, that was supposed to have just been a bite and had turned into more. It was a relief to know Jake was feeling that as well, it wasn’t just Murphy going mental.

“That’s nothing to be ashamed about. I know me saying that won’t just make it go away, but it’s not your fault. That isn’t what upset me, it was that you didn’t tell me. If we’re going to try for this to go anywhere, we need to be honest. You can’t go around giving me half-truths or skipping bits you feel like.”

Ok, as soon as it came out Murphy realised it was maybe too much. They hardly knew each other, but how could he trust who when it felt like so much Jake said was fragmented? He took a deep breath, trying to stop himself from blurting out too much more and making a fool of himself. But Ben didn’t trust Jake, Charon didn’t completely, Murphy needed Jake to show he was worth trusting.

“I want to try.”

[Black Philip]

Jake liked that Murphy didn’t scoot away, and took it as a sign things were going well. However, then he expressed his confusion about Ben, and that there were parts missing. Of course there were. How could he tell him what he really thought? Well, better to get it all out than let Ben drive the narrative.

“I have a bad temper. Normally I take it out on myself or on those who deserve it like Lazarus. Ben seems to know how to tap into the parts of me that are the worst and draw them to the surface. He insisted I rule my district with threats, and so I threatened him. I know that doesn’t make sense. For what it’s worth I think I bring out the worst in him too. We just… don’t mix. We seemingly moved on from the rough patch after I gave him the funding for the academy but then we talked about my friend Conner and… and… he told me I was too stupid to find my bestfriend. I miss Conner so much. He’s really a better man than me. Anyways, that’s when I pulled over and told him to leave. He then stayed for a few parting shots before going. That’s what happened.”

Murphy was likely to know the director of the Ward had gone missing, and if he didn’t know before he now knew that Conner had been Jake’s closest friend and ally. He started to miss the Tremere, sitting there in the room with Murphy. Conner was anxious, stubborn and frankly mean, but he kept Jake sensible and honest. He brought out the best version of Jake in a way even Sam struggled to do. He’d failed to protect him and keep him safe. He’d vowed to never let people be unsafe again. The west had been unsafe and Jake had brought order and a huge drop in crime. He had to keep making up for letting Conner go missing. He wished he had any sign that Conner lived, something to tell him that the Warlock would be back soon. Jake looked massively uncomfortable as he spoke about Conner. He scooted away now, feeling averse to this conversation and everything in general. Murphy’s other statement was harder to address. 

“Listen Murphy, I think you’re right. I can’t do that to you, but to me trust is earned and I haven’t trusted many people in the time I’ve been alive. I’ve survived by being crafty and keeping my cards close. I lived with a man for seventy years who read my mind any time he wanted. I only escaped because I found a way to fool him. Even once I was here in the city I only trusted Kerr for the first few years outside my own people. I want to tell you everything. I want to let you in. But you’re a journalist. You demand the truth. If I promise to try and tell you everything, you have to promise not to demand if of me. If you can’t then you just want to read my mind, and I can’t sign on for that.”

It was a lot of words, but it was complicated issue, and he needed Murphy to at least try and meet him halfway. Otherwise, what made Murphy different than Mithras, demanding to know his every thought?

“I want to try too, so much.”

[pinkroses]

Murphy rolled his eyes as Jake explained the discussion between him and Ban. Fuck, they were like children, just with swords, inhuman strength, mind powers and a lust for blood. They didn’t get on, so why the hell did they seem to keep seeking each other out? It was a big enough city, surely? He’d seen Ben in those moods before, so didn’t doubt what Jake was saying – it was more of an explanation than Ben had given him.

“I’m sorry about Conner,” Murphy said softly, seeing how upset Jake was by this topic. Once Jake had explained in brief Murphy would have dropped it, unless Jake did that frustrating thing of hinting that there was more to the story which he really should know. He didn’t like that Jake felt he’d been pushed into this deeper topic.

His face crinkled into a frown as Jake explained about having his mind read all the time. That must have been horrendous. Not being able to keep any thoughts to yourself.

“Fuck, that sounds horrible,” he said, feeling bad now about pushing the matter, although the way Jake spoke when he was hiding things meant that he was basically inviting questions.

“I don’t want to know everything, I’m just asking for no lies and to know about things which affect me. I don’t think that’s too much to ask,” Murphy added.

“On that note, I got some stuff I need to talk to you about, which could affect you going forwards,” he added, running a hand through his hair nervously. “I’m not really sure how to go about explaining it, as it’s… it wasn’t exactly my thought.”

He took a deep breath, his hand moving to play with a fold in his jeans as he spoke.

“I’ve been around vampires for a while now, and one day I want to be sired. I was talking about it with Charon after he found out about us at the party, and he mentioned you might be a good sire. I don’t want to go into this with some kind of goal like that at the end, I want to be with someone because of this thing we feel between us, but since he mentioned it, it would be on my mind and I had to tell you. If it was the other way around I would have felt manipulated if I found out later.”

He knew bringing this up may well put an end to this before it even started, but he had to take that risk if they were going to trust each other in the future.

[Black Philip]

"Okay," Jake said quickly as Murphy finished talking about wanting to be sired. Was this a good dream? He'd thought only in his mind would he ever get the chance, but he felt so happy that it might actually occur. Charon had his own motives Jake assumed, but he couldn't help but want to kiss the ancient on the lips for pushing Murphy towards him. He wanted it to be Murphy's choice to be with him, and to be his eventual fledge, but he didn't fault either Murphy or Charon for their own motivations and opinions about it. He should tell Murphy what he saw at Sabrina's. It was time, and it was about as honest as he could be right now.

"I promise not to lie to you," he said, getting that part of the conversation out of the way. "And I actually want to include you in more of my decisions if you're willing. I trust your judgement."

Two words he didn't add were so far, as he'd yet to see exactly how Murphy's decisions played out. They'd gotten him here, and so Jake considered that a good start. Now for the messy, weird part.

"When I was last at Sabrina's house I had a vision of asking you to be my fledge. You accepted and we looked very happy. I don't know if it will really happen, but I can't deny that I haven't thought about it. I want to sire someone I love and while words like that are a really long way off, I feel stronger for you than I ever did for Lazarus, or any of the other flings I've had over my recent years. I've never gotten to really choose someone to carry on my bloodline, and I think you might be that person. We can date, and see how it goes, but yes that is an option and because you told me I don't feel manipulated."

"There is one other problem. Ben told me at the trial he was siring you once the Academy was finished. If he asks you to go through with it, will you?"

[pinkroses]

Murphy smiled as Jake agreed not to lie to him. The idea that the District Leader wanted to involve him in his decision making was a little odd – they still hardly knew each other, but it was nice to be trusted.

He listened quietly as Jake explained about his vision. He didn’t know a huge amount about visions, did they necessarily mean that they would come true? Or were they just potential futures? Or just desires?

“Well, that’s got to be a good sign,” he said with a smile. It was a relief that Jake hadn’t freaked out, or told him he’d never sire him, or anything along those lines. “And that sounds like a good plan. We both know it’s a possibility, but no pressure.”

As Jake mentioned Ben, Murphy’s cheeks flushed a little. Why had Ben told him that? Just to try to score points?

“That was what I was going to mention next. I don’t know what’s happening with that now Kerr’s back, whether that’s still on the table. We haven’t spoken about it for months and there was such a huge list of things to be got out of the way before it was discussed again.” Charon’s words echoed through his mind about Ben’s family. Being sired by Ben was one thing, but being connected to Kerr who didn’t like him? And Ichabod seemed to be around a bit more as well now, unlike when Ben and his brother had been avoiding each other.

[Black Philip]

Jake listened, his expression a bit sour as Murphy didn't outright tel him it wasn't true. He knew that would be ridiculous of course, but it would've made things so much easier. The pout had to look adorable on his boyish face, something akin to an elf that didn't get his way. He moved back closer now that they were talking in dating language. He decided to tell Murphy what he told Ben.

"If you decide to have Ben sire you I still want to date you and get closer to you. I told Ben the same thing. Just let me know what you decide, but... I hope you'll consider me for your sire too."

He was close enough to kiss him now, but he dared not. Did Murphy have more questions? Would he even want to be physical tonight? Jake knew he wasn't ready for sex again, and it if they were going to seriously date it might be a good idea to take it slow, but he wouldn't mind a little something; a kiss, to b held, to be touched.

[pinkroses]

“That’s good to know, thank you,” Murphy said, the nervousness falling away to a proper smile as Jake declared he’d still want to date him, even if Ben sired him. He hadn’t missed the look on Jake’s face at the discussion, but at least they would be able to get past that when it came.

Unable to resist, Murphy leant forwards to press a kiss against Jake’s lips, lifting a hand to cup his cheek gently. It felt like they’d worked through so much, and yes it would be difficult, but right now it felt like they could manage anything together.