It all went sideways very quickly. One second Harm was getting into the groove of giving head, the next he was drifting through space and being tossed roughly onto the mattress. His heart thudded harder as fear flavoured his blood and spiked it with a healthy shot of adrenaline. Panic set in about the time his ankles were grabbed. "N-no, Luke, the lube, Luke?" he stammered as he was dragged over and his ass was jabbed blindly. He flinched backwards (as best he could) as his reminder about the lube was ignored and his hole was nudged sharply.
The flighty, winged thing fluttering around inside his chest became a wild, terrified beast of slashing claws and gnashing teeth as Luke stared at him from enraged eyes and covered his mouth, bearing down on him.
Harm fought as best he could, using his legs to lever his ass away and his hands to slap and shove at the wall of flesh that was Luke's chest and shoulders but it did no good. Luke wouldn't budge and, worse still, he seemed intent on punishing him. He had no idea why. Harm's mind was riding the ridged back of that panic monster as it scrambled to think, to think what to do, how to escape, how to stop this from happening!! His breathing was a gale, a tornado, erratic and exaggerated as he imagined being suffocated by a grey monster arm and an impossibly beautiful body in this anonymous hotel room.
No-one knew he was here, no-one in the city even cared where he was. He'd walked willingly into this and it was all his own stupid fucking fault!
It wasn't like Luke hadn't warned him. Was this just another lesson Harm was supposed to learn? Don't desire sex with monsters because it'll fuck you up and you won't enjoy it?! He was getting the fucking message loud and clear, if that was the case, and he wanted to get the fuck off this horrifying ride! Tears squeezed from the corners of his eyes and he screamed, "NO! FUCKING STOP!" as loudly as he could but his words were as muffled as his brain was, as futile as his body was to fight this tower of rock and muscle. He was going to be raped and he was punching and kicking and squirming as hard as he fucking could but it was just so futile.
Luke was just standing there. Like an evil statue that would come to life any second and force itself into his body and maybe snap his neck if it felt like it... and then, suddenly, he was being released and oh, sweet life and love and sterile gauze, he could move at last! Hitching in a hysterical sob, Harm scrambled off the bed as fast as he could and stumbled into the bathroom. He threw the door shut and locked it, grabbing a towel and wrapping it around his waist, then grabbed another as he fell with his back against the door and slid down it onto the floor. He pressed his face into the towel and screamed and screamed until his lungs hurt and then he just cried into it.
After a few minutes, the terror scaled down to exorbitant fear and he pulled the towel away from his face. He was shaking and shivering uncontrollably, rocking back and forth with his knees up and the towel on them, clutching his ankles and staring into his memory. He realised he was in shock so he wobbled his way to his feet and put the towels on the sink on his way to the shower. He made it nice and hot and stepped in tentatively, his hands reaching in front of him like someone lost in the dark, leaning against the tiles and pissing himself as a few more sobs returned for their encore. He then sank down onto the floor, his head alternating between looking up and bending low, letting the water wash over him, soothing the rawness of his soul.
Once his skin was pink with heat, he located a cake of soap and washed himself, even though he wasn't dirty. He needed to wash Luke off him.
When he'd scrubbed himself and rinsed three times, he felt confident enough to get out of the shower. He shut it off and dried himself, his movements slow and achey. He didn't care about his hair this time. He ruffled it as dry as possible then finger-combed it out of his eyes, staring at himself in the mirror like he didn't know who it was on the other side. He wrapped one towel around his waist and the other around his shoulders, clutching it closed at his throat as he went and sat on the toilet seat to think. He couldn't hear any movement on the other side of the bathroom door but that didn't mean Luke had had the decency to leave him alone. He was very fucking stealthy. Harm chewed on his thumbnail as he thought, his right knee bobbing rapidly as it bounced the melody of his agitation out on the bathroom floor.
He was okay. He wasn't hurt. He was just scared shitless - or was it witless? - but he was whole. With a whole hole. A whinnying laugh warbled out of him and he cut it off immediately. This wasn't funny and he sounded like something dying a shrill and painful death. It was the shock, he was pretty sure, but he needed to get past that right now. He needed to find rationalisation and balance. He needed to be present for himself. He started his mantra over again. He was okay. He wasn't hurt. Luke hadn't come after him to finish the job and he could easily have busted the door down. He... hadn't meant to scare him?
The thought was like a bucket of ice had been dumped over his head, sending a wave of cold through him. He was pretty sure he could remember Luke apologising, now he thought about it. Why would he have said that? Because he hadn't meant to hurt him? Scare him? Flashes returned, his mind's eye throwing the image of Luke's face at him, devoid of any emotion but anger and maybe hatred. Hatred? Is that what he'd seen? That couldn't have been right... could it? Emotion was clouding his judgement, rising in his chest and making him teary again. He sucked in a sharp breath through his nose and squared his shoulders. He exhaled, letting calm permeate. Nothing was clear and he couldn't live the rest of his life in this bathroom, so he'd have to go out and get some answers.
Steeling himself, he stood and walked to the door. He stared at the lock, unwilling to release it just yet. He took some breaths and thought about how useless the lock was anyway. He opened the door and pulled it back a little, wanting to see where Luke was, what he was doing. He was too intimidated to come straight out without knowing he could keep a safe distance between him and his attacker. His clothes were out there, too. Taking another breath, which he held, Harm peered around the door.