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[pinkroses]

"Oh, yeah," Murphy said, scooping up his thermos of blood and taking a sip. "I'm trying to pace myself a bit, when I drink it's just, amazing, but I don't want to give in to it. I feel like that would make me need it more." He gave a small shrug as he took a deeper drink.

"I... Jeanne has mentioned I haven't been needing to drink so much as some fledglings, maybe because of Lazarus. I don't see that, I feel like I always want to feed, I just... try to not." He had been pleased with his self-control, but if Jeanne was right and it was just his blood then it wasn't really his own achievement.

[Trillian]

"You're lucky you have any self control," Ben said without thinking, then paused and double-backed. "I mean, I don't remember my own experience but I know a lot of fledglings have lost control. I don't know any that can nurse a drink like you."

The last comment was supposed to be a compliment but to his ears it sounded a little snide. Perhaps he was being overly critical of himself. He hoped Murphy had heard something different.

[pinkroses]

Murphy drew back slightly at the tone of Ben's voice, looking at him in surprise. Lucky. Lucky?

"I know I'm lucky, this all could have been much worse," Murphy said, his voice stilted. He had almost lost control and it had terrified him. He didn't want to have to go through that again.

"Having self-control is a good thing," he said warily, as though he was trying to convince himself. Why did Ben make it sound like a negative?

[Trillian]

"Yeah," he agreed, and suddenly wanted off this topic. "Have the police got a lead on your car? Do they tell you anything, like if it's gone over state lines?"

He'd not met anyone with a stolen car before. He didn't know how it all worked. He supposed Lazarus would've been smart enough to dump Murphy's car as soon as possible and get transport some other way, but maybe he was too arrogant to believe he would be caught.

[pinkroses]

Murphy was surprised by the sudden change of topic again, but gave a small shake of his head.

"I only reported it a couple of days ago, I didn't really think of it before then. They've not found anything yet." Losing his car sucked, but he didn't want to go looking for it. Hopefully it would turn up, but it wasn't top on his list of priorities at the moment.

He glanced down at his thermos, swirling the blood around before finishing it off, feeling a bit like he had to now that Ben seemed to have taken offense at the fact he wasn't clawing for it.

"It's a good thing he didn't take my phone and stuff, just my keys. I've got no idea how I'd have managed to get back to the city otherwise," he said with a small shrug before he lifted his gaze to meet Ben's again.

"I'm going to be staying at Penbrook for a bit if you, I dunno, wanted to come see me or anything. It will take a bit of work to get my flat light-proof so it's safe during the day. And they have donors and Jeanne, Hugh and Royce have been helping me learn, so it's just... easier," he explained. Ben probably could have guessed he'd be going back there, but Murphy wasn't sure whether he would come to visit, or if he would only go there to see Charon.

[Trillian]

Ben couldn't believe Murphy hadn't reported his car straight away. If Ben's car had been stolen by that fucker, he would've put the cops on him immediately. But then, Murphy had been reeling with the whole vampirism thing. Still... at least the next night, if only to make it harder for Lazarus to make good his escape. And why hadn't anyone at the Sacramentum told him to report it? Did they want Lazarus to get away?

All this ran through his head before Murphy started talking again, finishing with how much easier it was for him to stay at Penbrook. Ben agreed internally and battled with offering Murphy a place to stay at the Luminary, because Kerr had already set up some donor residents, plus all the Academy classes could be accessed downstairs. In spite of this, he was inclined to agree with Murphy; it would be easier for him to stay at Penbrook. For everyone.

He nodded, letting the expectant silence grow because he had no idea how to fill it.

As surely as Lazarus had drained the life out of Murphy, so too had this conversation met the same demise. It sucked, losing his ability to be casual with Murphy. He mourned their easy ability to be around one another, even going so far as grooming one another.

"I'll visit," he said after a pause. He wanted to check on Murphy's progress; his recovery, his training. All of it.

[pinkroses]

Although he did't say anything, Murphy caught a glimpse of... something in Ben's eyes, but couldn't quite make it out. Fuck, this used to be so easy. And for half an hour when they'd been talking tonight Murphy had thought that without the tension of Ben not siring hanging over him things might have gone back to how they were. But now there was something else and he couldn't put his finger on it.

Two words. That was it? A promise that Murphy struggled to believe.

"Ok, good," Murphy said, glancing down at his nwo empty thermos before leaning towards the table to deposit it and stand up in one movement.

"I guess I should get going," to see Jake , "You probably had stuff to be getting on with, with the app, the election, all that." The idea of going to see Jake was still worrying him, but Ben's words had been reassuring, that he didn't smell of Lazarus and Ben obviously hadn't sensed that specific ancient on him immediately.

He took a step towards the door before hesitating and holding his arms out to Ben, wanting one final hug before the blonde walked him out, if Ben would accept. The conversation had dried up awkwardly, but a hug didn't need words and Murphy felt like he needed a bit of strength before going to Jake.

[Trillian]

Ben accepted the hug readily. It was comfortable, and comforting. They were offering each other love and support and it was innocent in that it had no expectations. He squeezed Murphy a little tighter, not having to worry if it would squish his friend.

"You're going to be amazing at this," Ben promised Murphy, saying the words into his shoulder. He had no doubt that his friend would take advantage of the hand he'd been dealt and turn it around in his favour. He released him when the elevator doors opened.

The lobby didn't need a secure card or anything to access it. All Murphy had to do was step in and press the button.

"Good luck," he said, knowing Murphy was going to Jake next.