Kerr had had challengers for Ben's attention (Lazarus), his obsession (Themba, Jake), his reverence (Charon) and the place in his bed before - hell, he'd even taken a few of those himself, when they were broken up - but he'd never had a legitimate challenger for Ben's heart, that he knew of. It scared him, rattling every bit of insecurity left behind after every argument they'd ever had. He'd known many facets of love himself in his four hundred-plus years of existence, so he was well aware of how such an emotion would evolve and transform as time wove its magic.
He hadn't expected to face this potential obstacle to Ben's love for many decades yet, especially since they'd only just got their shit together properly after all these years. He'd been confident that he was the only one that could possibly hold Ben's heart for a good long while. Except now there was the potential of Vincent. It was a blow, though Kerr believed Ben when he said he wasn't in love with the unassuming vampire. Not yet, anyway, because he was keeping himself distanced enough to avoid it for the time being.
And here Kerr was, requesting they walk straight into the man's presence and have a polite couple dinner with him and his husband? What the fuck was he thinking??
It was difficult to concentrate on what Ben was saying while his confidence was completely eaten out from under him but Kerr knew it was vitally important that he did. He needed defences against this and information was key. Hearing that Ben kissed Vincent and was then told he was prone to self-sabotage was another snippet of demoralisation he didn't enjoy swallowing but he tried to keep it in perspective. Ben did undermine himself all the time (hello, New York), usually because he couldn't stop overthinking everything. The fact that Vincent knew his love well enough to understand how he could be his own worst enemy was as reassuring as it was unsettling. Still, it showed that Vincent had Ben's best interests at heart, even when Ben couldn't. Much like Kerr did.
He was suddenly very thankful he'd had the opportunity to meet Vincent and see him with his husband before he found all this out. He and Owen were very obviously devoted to each other and Kerr doubted very much that it would matter how Ben felt for him, to Vincent. He only had eyes for one man and it wasn't Kerr's man. Small mercies abound.
Kerr's borderline nasty thoughts disapparated as Ben faltered, his beautiful lip trembling in a display of emotion that had Kerr sliding immediately over to him and wrapping his arms about Ben, hoping to hold him close. "It's okay," he crooned gently, pressing kisses to Ben's face. "It obviously didn't impact your relationship. He still has a great deal of respect for you, I could hear it in the way he spoke about you tonight," Kerr assured, too ashamed to repeat that Vincent had reprimanded him when he'd inadvertently cast aspersions on Ben by accusing Vincent of having sex with him.
