The Kindred Who Brunch

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr had heard of the show but had never seen it so he didn't understand the full scope of Jake's insinuation; just enough to know that Jake was implying his dating life was a drama. Interesting, that he made Murphy's unfortunate situation about him, even in jest. Then again, Lazarus had sired Murphy as an act of terrorism aimed specifically at Ben and Jake, so it really was about him.

Frankly, Kerr couldn't understand why Jake had ever even been with Lazarus in the first place. The truest solution - if they were making fairy tale wishes, here - would have been to never hook up with the motherfucker in the first place, then so many awful consequences would've been avoided. So many lives wouldn't have been torn apart by the cunt. But, if wishes were horses then beggars would ride and all that.

Here they were in reality, and Jake was suffering. The bitter, wounded part of Kerr - the part that had held Ben night after night as he yelled or cried or withdrew into himself as his overwhelming emotions regarding being raped or his hatred for Jake overcame him - exulted in that. Just a little. Jake's deeds had caused Kerr nearly as much aggravation as they had Ben. Mostly, he was sorry for everyone involved. Well, except for Lazarus.

"Lazarus deserves to die," Kerr nodded his agreement, even though he'd argued the opposite in public but thought exactly this in private. "It's a shame you didn't get to sire Murphy and the whole situation for him being caught in the middle of the most exquisite revenge plot ever is terrible, but at least he's still here. Still alive. You still have him," Kerr pointed out kindly, reaching across to place a hand over Jake's. He withdrew it relatively quickly because that was the moment their server brought their meals and he needed to sit back and make room for them to place his large glass on the table. He thanked the waiter and took an eager sip of his.

"You're... serious about him?" he enquired after his initial drink, allowing the comfort of the warm blood to spread throughout him as he put his glass back down on the table.

It wasn't any of his business and he'd respect it if Jake told him so but he was surprised to learn that Jake was serious about somebody. He'd never seemed the relationship type back in their Oligarchy days - especially remembering the way he'd spontaneously kissed him that time, with Ben in the other room. Relationships hadn't been anything Jake respected. Kerr thought it was a sign of Jake maturing emotionally if he was thinking of settling down. He'd partially thought Murphy was just a fling and a convenient way to get under Ben's skin. Now that Murphy had been sired out from under him, it also might've been logical for Jake to reject Murphy. Kerr was interested in why that hadn't happened.

[Black Philip]

When Kerr stated that Lazarus deserved to die, Jake felt a little bitterness.He could've said that at Penbrook. Kerr was always so direct about what he thought. To hear him now say something he hadn't dared say in front of prince Ben, made Jake resent him a bit. He could've used that advice instead of the contrary. Still, bygones and all that, and besides Jake knew that Kerr had suffered because of this. How many times had Lazarus said, "Fucking Kerr?" Hurting Ben was all about hurting Kerr, just like hurting Murphy had been all about hurting Jake and Ben. Lazarus never directly attacked someone it seemed; it was always through someone they cared about.

Ben's rape had happened at Jake's home, and whatever else might've happened between them, Jake was truly sorry for that. He couldn't tell Kerr that. It was an apology for Ben, but he decided to apologize for what had been a direct insult to Kerr, and one he played along with.

"I should've never brought Ben into the White Rabbit," he said suddenly. "Charon played me for a fool, and I guess I was one. I also shouldn't have done that to you. We were friends. I should've never taken Ben away from you, especially right after you got back. I'm sorry for that."

He heard Kerr's kind words about Murphy being alive, and he and Murphy had discussed much the same thing. He nodded to that, but didn't reply. All he would've said is that he already knew that, and that spoiled the moment of Kerr offering him that knowledge. Kerr was being kind, and so Jake let him be kind. He had a brief thought of siring Murphy, of the vision that he'd had in Sabrina's home that would never come to pass. Kerr's hand, however brief, brought him back into the room, and he looked at Kerr startled before relaxing into a soft face. The blood coming was a welcome sight, and he greedily took a bigger swig than was probably polite. The warm liquid soothed his body, and the feeling of warmth was like a snug blanket. This stuff was pretty good! Kerr's next question got to the heart of what Jake had been wrestling with.

"I am," he said, but with a twinge of sadness. "I. I always seem to pick the wrong guy," he observed. "They either have boyfriends, are emotionally manipulative rapists, or... just... maybe want different things. I guess, I'm serious about Murphy. He makes me calm, and is sexy, and really smart, and he doesn't put up with my shit." He smiled at that last thought. "But... I don't know. I think he's a young fledge, figuring out all that means. I feel like an anchor, like I'm weighing him down. So I guess we'll see, but I really like him, yeah."

He took another long swig. He might need another one of these.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr went very still as he received an apology he hadn't expected. He tightened his grip on his glass, lowering his gaze to watch his hands twist agitatedly about the stem of it. He couldn't look at Jake and think about that awful time and remain visibly civil. It was best to shut his expression down and look away, so as not to advertise the lingering resentment burning in his chest. He nodded, not trusting himself to speak.

No, he shouldn't have taken Ben away from him. It had put unnecessary strain on an already-tense relationship and brought them to the brink of breaking up because they hadn't been together to talk things out. It had been a very difficult time and Charon and Jake were the ones directly to blame for it, in Kerr's opinion.

Thankfully, Jake took the Murphy bait and Kerr welcomed the subject change. His grip on his glass loosened and a small smile lifted one corner of his mouth as he looked up from beneath his lashes. "You're becoming downright maudlin these days, old man," he teased, his grin growing. "Personally, I've never been that big of a fan of Murphy's, so I don't see the appeal but everybody deserves to be happy. Even you," he smirked, his eyes twinkling over the rim of his glass as he took another drink.

[Black Philip]

Jake's face tightened at Kerr's appraisal of Murphy. It was outright dismissive of a really good person, and Jake felt Murphy was worth ten of Ben. Ben was cruel, and mean spirited, and petty. He was selfish, and vindictive. Murphy was none of those things. Murphy had a good heart, was caring and full of patience. He wasn't sure why Kerr, someone Jake thought was emotionally in tune, would say that right after Jake had opened up. The even you comment might've been meant as a joke, but it told Jake something about what Kerr thought of him, and that tasted like shit.

Because of who you are, you deserve less happiness than others

"Well, I've always been a little brooding," he said with a shrug, replying to Kerr's maudlin comment over anything to do with Murphy. He even flipped his hair in front of an eye, just so that he could look like a perfect little emo boy. "It fits with my angsty aesthetic."

"Where did you go, when you were gone," Jake asked, desperately ready to be done talking about himself and his love life.

[Existentially Odd]

It wasn't the first time one of Kerr's jokes hadn't come off. That's what he got for trying to make light of things over a surface of genuine misery - such as that stirred up by mentioning Ben's stupid imprisonment in Jake's home. He'd expected Jake to come back at him about Murphy being quite the rock star when compared to loving Ben, but that hadn't worked out either. Ah well, you couldn't win them all.

Kerr's eyebrows lifted when Jake asked him where he'd been during his eighteen month 'death' absence. "You don't know?" he asked rhetorically. "I was in a pocket dimension. Time works differently there, each minute was worth a month in our world. I had no idea that could happen until I came out after eighteen minutes and the world had moved on. The leader of the Mimics - d'you remember Bralik? - gave me access to it before they left. It's like this massive room where the majority of the Oligarchy's precious assets are stored. I went in and out the same way but there was an interesting door at the back of it that may have led to even more dimensions. So who understands magic?" he shrugged.

He was attempting to try to - having joined Astrid's class at the Academy and attending religiously - but he had no idea how Bralik had done what he'd done to him, so he couldn't give much more of an explanation regarding the dimension and portal. He was careful to tell Jake about the artefacts, though, just to be clear that he didn't have easy access to them and hadn't seconded them for his own nefarious purposes somehow. As with his role as Luminary, all of it had been gifted to him by the Clan Leader of the Mimic Demons.

[Black Philip]

The new topic pulled Jake out his brooding hole, and he listened with interest as Kerr explained where he'd been. Jake too was in Astrid's class, but they must've been taking different nights because he hadn't seen Kerr. The whole idea of a pocket dimension sounded insane, but then again, Jake wore the ring of a dragon, and had ended up with a dragon blade. Nothing was impossible it seemed. He also couldn't imagine coming back after what felt like a short time, and realizing that you'd been missing for eighteen months. Jake did remember Bralik, but As Kerr knew, Jake had always preferred using his own people. Even when Conner had been made spymaster, Jake still used Benny. Jake never used the mimics to enforce his will, always the Brujah clan. They'd never had cross words, but Jake had always avoided the mimics.

"Well, the city missed you," Jake said. "I missed you."

As not to get to sappy, he asked, "Would you ever go through that other door? It sounds like one hell of an adventure!"

Jake seemed awfully excited about the idea of disappearing through a dimension door, off into the unknown. He leaned forward, and placed his hands neatly on the table.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr's eyebrows lifted as Jake surprised him yet again. He'd missed him? It was... touching and it pleased him to hear, yet he somehow felt like he was betraying Ben by innocently being the object of Jake's friendly affection. That was the problem, though. He'd always rather liked Jake and known a side of him that Ben hadn't, hence their fights over the man. It flavoured his answer regarding the portal.

"Maybe one day, when Ben and I break up again and I'm looking for somewhere really exotic to go to get over it," he chuckled wryly, smirking at Jake. "I can open it and you can go for a look, if you like. Just don't be longer than three minutes." He winked at Jake, not needing to explain that the time frame equated to how long he had until the election happened. "I almost just pushed Lazarus in there at one point," he admitted with a skewed smile.

Really, he should've ended Lazarus himself when he'd had the chance. He remembered mentally blasting the motherfucker into unconsciousness and then carrying him to his home so that he didn't die to the sun's rays, before he took Ben away from him. The memory was vivid with bitterness now and Jake might possibly pick it up without too much mental effort on his behalf, simply due to the image's poignancy. Oh, what tangled webs those with extended lifetimes weave...

[Black Philip]

Jake couldn't help but love the idea of Kerr and Ben breaking up. It unlocked so many doors for Kerr, even if he didn't know it yet. He also knew it would mean they could be friends. Jake had called Kerr to a business meeting, and while business had been the shortest subject, he didn't imagine Ben would agree to Kerr and Jake meeting for dinner like this on a regular basis. He laughed at Kerr's offer, and humerus warning. He was curious for sure, but even one minute was one too many.

"Well, who knows," Jake said, raising his glass. He took another small drink. "Maybe Ben will beat me, and I'll need something to do. I'll go then."

As if remembering their no election talk rule, Jake quickly added, "sorry about that. Hard to keep the parts of my life separate all night." He also wished that Kerr had pushed Lazarus inside, and thrown away the key for good. However, one couldn't go back, and Jake was not about to cast stones where Lazarus was concerned.

"I have a feeling Lazarus isn't done with us," he told Kerr, feeling the seriousness of the subject. "I've decided to not look for him, but I think he'll find a way to return, eventually. If that happens, and we best him, when it comes time to execute him, how about I flip you for it?"

Nobody deserved to kill Lazarus more than Kerr, but Jake knew he was just too selfish to give up a chance at being the one to end him.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr smiled darkly at the offer. “Thanks, but I blew one opportunity already. And I think killing Lazarus could be the one thing you and Ben would enjoy working on together, you two can have the honour. I’ll be your backup,” he chuckled, waving his hands briefly before him, palms towards Jake as he shook his head, divesting himself of all responsibility.

Ben and Jake had more direct quarrels with the motherfucker than he did. It was their right to call dibs.

“Besides,” Kerr continued, taking a hearty swallow of his meal and then putting it down firmly, “you saw me with those Sabbat. I’m not much good in a fistfight.” He grinned deprecatingly, grasping his elbows in his hands and leaning forward to rest them on the table, his shoulders hunched as he looked over at Jake. “Though I imagine Lazarus won’t be back any time soon. I should just have time to squeeze in some ninja training by then.”

He winked at Jake to show he was joking, his smile softening as he regarded his handsome, youthful-looking companion astutely. He was certainly beautiful, in a way that would make mortals’ breaths catch, Kerr imagined. It was a damn shame his insides weren’t as pretty as his outside. Kerr wished things could be simpler between them but he might as well try to harness the wind.

“And don’t worry,” he advised softly, his mouth twisting thoughtfully, “it doesn’t matter if we don’t talk about it. There’s no keeping anything separate in either of our lives. We both know exactly what’s between us. We’re just avoiding it for propriety’s sake. Tonight’s just a matter of reaching across that gulf in an attempt to connect anyway, isn’t it?” he murmured, raising his glass in a manner that suggested Jake should hit his against it and agree that the unspoken things could be ignored for the sake of maintaining a connection between the two of them.

He could be wrong, of course. Jake might not believe they should try to remain... well, friends seemed too strong a word but he supposed that was what he was getting at. Despite the chasm of shit between them, they might yet reconnect on some level and he would like that - even though Ben would never understand it, or approve. His words came back to Kerr; you knew him when you were in power. I knew him when he was in power. He wasn't wrong and it made a difference, Kerr knew.

[Black Philip]

Jake didn't agree that he and Ben would enjoy working together to dispose of Lazarus. He wanted that to be true, but Ben hated Jake so much, he'd likely work towards killing them both. Jake would never share that thought with Kerr, but because Jake's mind was fairly open, he might since that Jake didn't agree for some reason. It wasn't a point he was willing to put forward though.

"I seem to remember a bullet or two from your gun saving me," Jake said, not sure if that happened or not. "I gained enormous respect for you that day. You proved you care more about the people of this city than yourself. It has endeared you to me.”

He said the last line almost like he was Lisa-Joe, a southern belle sitting on her porch. He laughed at Kerr's ninja joke, almost suggesting that he train the other man in combat. He decided not to, because he'd had enough no's from Kerr tonight. The conversation became more serious as Kerr brought up what existed between them, and Jake nodded as the other spoke. He was right, and Jake clinked his glass in agreement.

"I'm very glad you're here, and that we can do this. I'm sure you got an ear full before, and I suspect you'll be getting one after. I appreciate it."

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr chuckled and shook his head, partially because he was denying Jake's comment was true and partially because he was amused by the fact that, once he'd alluded to his love, Jake couldn't help but have a dig at him. He wasn't interested in being caught between the two of them, so he knew he should shut down all references but he couldn't help himself; he had to stick up for Ben in some small way.

"You're wrong, you know," he argued mildly, grinning at Jake. "Ben and you don't get along, I know that, but he agrees with you. I am interested in what's best for this city and as much as he doesn't like you, he respects that I like you. In a small way, our meeting is him being diplomatic and keeping his District Leader happy by giving you what you want - time with me. Does that make sense? He doesn't understand why I'd want to hang out with you, but he didn't give me any shit about it. I don't think he'll even ask what we talked about when I get home - but he'll be dying to know and I'll tell him anyway."

Kerr laughed good-naturedly, happy to share the truth of the situation with Jake because he was honest and open by nature. Ben had told him to maintain good relations with Jake, in fact (because he knew he couldn't) but that wasn't the real reason he was here. Sure, if Ben lost the election to Jake, they'd need the mercy of a friend to trump the vindictiveness of an enemy but Kerr was hopeful it wouldn't come down to that. Jake's profession of endearment made him feel infinitely better about liking the guy and wanting to remain close if only on the merit that he didn't have many close friends. He and Jake had been through quite a lot of hardship together and although he'd always choose Ben first, he really hoped he wouldn't have to pick sides.

"Call it the posturing of a whipped man if you wish," Kerr announced austerely, waggling a finger in Jake's direction as he sat up straighter, "but Ben doesn't keep me leashed and I do what I want," he said toughly, pounding his chest once with closed fists, king of the apes style. The effect was entirely ruined when his expression cleared into a mischievous smile, he giggled and winked at Jake as he took the final swig of his meal, finishing it off. He placed the glass back on the table with another spark of playful gusto just to keep the joke running while Jake responded.

He thought himself all the funnier because they both knew that if Ben walked in at this very moment and said, "Heel!" Kerr absolutely would.

[Black Philip]

Jake listened respectfully as Kerr paid Ben's ass lip service. It wasn't the kindest way to think, but to someone who had seen such venom, such cruelty, and frankly such malice from Ben, Jake couldn't validate any of it. The one positive thing Jake chose to focus on, and let Kerr see those parts of his reaction to help obscure the other part, was that it sounded like he might be able to spend more time with Kerr. He imagined future dinners, and other fun activities. It also sounded like Kerr wanted more time with him, even if contact was still limited. Jake could support that idea.

"Well I'm sure you see two lovely people you wish could see one another," Jake said, his wordplay coming out rather poetic. "I know you'd be happier if we saw what you saw. Hell, I bet even Ben would agree with me on that one."

He did love that about Kerr. Jake was damaged goods, and so was Ben in his own ways, and yet Kerr looked past the surface and saw the people they were underneath. He had no hope of he and Ben ever being friends, but perhaps peace was possible, if Kerr helped it along.

"I don't think you're whipped," Jake almost grumbled out, loath to admit. "I just think you love Ben a lot. I can't fault you for who you love. I'd hate for someone to that to Murphy." He returned Kerr's easy smile with one of his own, laughed as he pounded his chest, and then quickly drained his own glass too.

Jake looked to the dance floor. He wanted to go just once. He figured Kerr might say no. Could he even Foxtrot? Was dancing too close to flirting? It wasn't for Jake. He almost didn't ask. His earlier rejection had been more than enough, but the idea that Kerr might say yes motivated him to speak.

"One thing left to do if you want to make your district leader happy," he joked, feeding off Kerr's energy and matching his style. "I would like to dance, and I would like you to dance with me. Can Kerr handle a Foxtrot?"

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr's grin broadened, his eyes lighting up. "Are you kidding? Kerr loves the foxtrot!" he enthused, standing hastily and divesting himself of his leather jacket. He hooked it on the back of his seat and hastened to Jake's side, his elbow extended, chin lifted and frame already locked as he awaited his partner's light touch upon his arm.

Once he had it, he led Jake to the dance floor at his full impressive height, allowing the fast pace of the music to infuse his veins more quickly even than the blood he'd just ingested. When they reached a space he felt they could make their own (for they weren't alone on the polished floor, unfortunately), he faced Jake with a straight spine. Grasping Jake's hand, he spun him forcefully in a counter clockwise turn, allowing for a stumble or two with his footing before he caught him in the perfect foxtrot frame. Jake didn't stumble in the spin - in fact, he went with it and executed it perfectly, showing Kerr that he had a partner with dancing skill that might match his own.

A thrill of anticipation shivered through him and his cheeks began to ache from smiling.

Waiting for the right beat to begin on, Kerr whirled Jake around the dance floor like he weighed nothing. He was just the right height for head accents to each side and he had a solid frame. Jake stepped and swayed into the holds in perfect synchronicity, able to predict when Kerr was going to throw him into a spin or whirl him in a circle about him, his hand exchanges as flawless as his footwork. Their knee bends had them rising and falling with exact timing, even when Kerr spun Jake backwards into a reverse frame and they trotted and swayed backwards around half the floor - before Kerr spun him back and into a standing dip that allowed Jake to lift up a leg in a smooth high kick, practically turning his entire body vertical, it was so deep. Their recovery was flawless so Kerr grew even bolder, pushing Jake out to a distance, their hands palm to palm as they both spun and reconnected, a hand at a time, their feet a blur of stepping forward and sweeping sideways, twirling faster and more strongly before Jake came back into Kerr's arms and the song ended.

The dancers parted slightly and politely clapped the band, so Kerr and Jake did, too. Kerr was aware of many admiring glances being cast their way, their display noticed by all. The tempo of the new song was much more sedate, the timing right for a waltz. Kerr quite naturally regathered Jake into his arms, enjoying the slower pace and the ability to converse, though his blood was still singing with the thrill of the last dance.

"You're very good. Light on your feet," Kerr complimented, smiling down at Jake. Their frames weren't so rigid this time, he noticed, both of them closer than a standard waltz frame would allow and their arms decidedly relaxed around one another. It also meant that their torsos were pressed together, their feet alternating and their hips locked. He supposed it was his role to enforce a higher standard of frame but he preferred it this way. If he got the sense that Jake wished for more formality, he'd pull back and firm his hold up.

[Black Philip]

Jake was delighted by Kerr's excited reaction, and removed his tie quickly before being swept up by an eager partner. Jake placed his hand upon Kerr's arm, and was walked to the floor and took his position. He'd expected only a few basics steps and maybe an odd spin, but was delighted to realize Kerr was a splendid dancer! Jake had not danced the Foxtrot in a long time, and so he was transported to an earlier stage of his life. He was in a speak easy dancing with some odd boy, not nearly as good as Kerr. He didn't stay in his head long, as he realized he'd need to be in the present moment to keep up with his partner.

The first counterclockwise turn had Jake fully getting into the spirit, and he gave Kerr a cocky raised brow, as he was swept away! Their bodies moved together, fading in and out of one another, and danced with both individuality and synchronicity. Jake was having a blast, and he could tell Kerr was too. Despite all their other time together, Jake felt this was the most fun the pair had ever had as a duo. Jake fully lost himself in the standing dip, his leg going high and testing the stitching of his tight breaches. Jake noticed several pairs of eyes on them, but didn't care for anyone's gaze but Kerr's.

The amount of twisting, spinning and twirling left Jake a little dizzy as the song ended, and for a brief moment his cheek rested on Kerr's shoulder as he got the lay of the room. Before he knew it they were dancing again. He looked content, and still a little dizzy as they began to dance the waltz. He didn't mind the closer than regulation frame. The feeling of their chests touching, and arms relaxed around one another felt strangely natural.

"Thank you," he said rather sheepishly. "You're a very good lead. I didn't know where I'd be next, and that exciting."

They were excelling at this dance too, and many couples had left after the last dance, leaving them more of the floor to work with, and more eyes upon them. "We'll have to come dance again sometime," Jake said softly, turning his head briefly to look over the city, Kerr seeing a perfect side profile.

[Existentially Odd]

"You're an excellent partner yourself," Kerr murmured, mirroring Jake's compliment with a tender smile. When he turned to look at the skyline, Kerr found his mouth very close to Jake's temple and able to breathe in the scent of his hair products. He smelt delicious; masculine with some fruity undertones. Kerr had to pull back to see his profile, which was peaceful and beautiful in repose.

"I'd like that. Ben doesn't love dancing like I do and he's not been trained in any of them formally. I hope to rectify that as time goes on but for now, I'll happily dance with you." He imagined dancing with Ben at their wedding in the near future and his face softened with love at the very thought of it. He hoped Ben would agree to practise a dance with him beforehand. The could be spectacular together.

His gaze refocussed and he looked at Jake fondly. "I gather Murphy's not interested either? Dancing is, unfortunately, such a lost art form these days, the young don't appreciate the beauty of it."