Great Expectations

[Existentially Odd]

(continued from Restless Heart)

Kerr looked bashful. “Well, I figured we’d go up and get something to drink with Ben first and we’ll see how that goes,” he answered cautiously, thinking that Win was very perceptive and he wouldn’t have to spell it out for him. If Ben liked Win, he’d join them, if he didn’t, Kerr would be able to take Win to his new room and they could be alone.

He took his access card out of his wallet and swiped it, sending the lift towards the penthouse, before putting it away. He didn’t regather Win’s hand.

[Trillian]

Ben wasn't in the penthouse but in the office. He sensed Kerr in the building so he started packing up his things; saving and exiting out of his documents, putting away his notepad and pens, standing and perusing his laptop which had been charging while he'd been working on it, so he didn't really need to bring it up with him. He decided to anyway, but he put it in its case before making his way to the lift. He pressed the button around the same time as the lift doors opened to the penthouse.

"This is nice," Win said, exiting the wooden-panelled lift and seeing a tastefully decorated foyer. There were a couple of big pots holding flowering shrubs that greeted them with a lovely, soft scent. He smiled at them, wondering if this was a Ben touch or a Kerr touch... or maybe the interior decorator's idea.

Upon stepping into the penthouse proper, the aquarium captured his attention and he sidled a glance at Kerr. "Your idea or Ben's?" he asked, wanting to know who had such dramatic tastes. From what he knew of Kerr, it could've been him. Perhaps Kerr would launch into a new speech about how Ben had a great eye for aesthetics.

[Existentially Odd]

“Ben’s,” Kerr beamed. “I’ll be right back,” he excused himself, leaving Win to explore the lounge on his own. They rarely bothered with lights in the penthouse, gaining enough ambient glow from the city through the huge glass walls that they didn’t need them, so the aquarium’s watery lighting scheme was the dominant flavour tinting the room.

Kerr hastened towards their bedroom and hung his jacket up then headed into the kitchen to put three bags of blood on. He heard the lift open as he walked into the kitchen but he was too thirsty to stop what he was doing so he mentally connected with Ben instead.

Hey Sweetheart, I’m just warming up some blood. Win’s in the lounge, go on in and introduce yourself if you like or I’ll be out in about five minutes. He knew there was a kaleidoscope of love, lust and excitement infusing his message but he was too thirsty and comfortable to temper his emotions. It was Ben, he wouldn’t mind being bombarded by his emotions, he’d understand.

[Trillian]

Ben stepped into the foyer without seeing the pots and flowers the way Win had though he was aware of them. He received Kerr's message as he stepped through into the main area.

Sure thing, he sent as his gaze found first the aquarium and then a tall, lean looking guy between it and the windows. Instead of staring out the windows to the city, Kerr's guest faced the aquarium.

When they made eye-contact, Ben gave him a light smile as he approached. "Hi, I'm Ben," he said while closing the gap. He switched his laptop from his right hand to his left so he could offer his right for shaking once he was close. Wearing light grey slacks and a black button-up sans tie, Ben had dressed up a little in case someone dropped in to meet with him. Nobody had.

When they made eye-contact, Win felt a charge of attraction shoot down his spine straight into his groin. Fuck, Kerr hadn't been joking when he said Ben was attractive. He had exactly the kind of look Win adored; for some reason he hadn't pictured Kerr being with someone who looked cool yet delicate. Totally his type. The build-up Kerr had given Win converted into pressure to impress this man before him. Cub's brother. Kerr's fledge and lover. He hadn't wanted to be gross but he couldn't help but rake his eyes over Ben's form, drinking him in. When he made eye-contact again, meeting that intense glow, he thought he saw a kind of wariness in there that hadn't been there before he'd been looked over. Shit.

"Hi, Ben, I'm Win." He decided to explain himself a little, without sinking Kerr by divulging Ben had been spoken about at great length. He'd already made a note not to start an argument between them in that way. He'd make it sound like a lighter description than it was "Sorry if my mouth hung open because Kerr did mention he had a good-looking partner," he said, unable to tear his gaze away. His hand took Ben's and held it firmly as they pumped once for a quick handshake.

Ben's expression changed from wariness to bashfulness, though he'd learnt how to take a compliment. "All good," he said. "I'll just put my laptop away," he said, though Ben set it upon the surface of the buffet rather than putting it on the bedside table where it usually lived to charge.

"The aquarium is gorgeous. Kerr said it was your idea?" Win asked when Ben turned back around and faced him.

"Yes and no. The guy who lived here before had a central aquarium but it was one of the small rectangular ones. I wanted something more of a showpiece."

Win stared at him and nodded, feeling like Ben himself was a walking showpiece, though it was unfair of him to think of Ben that way. He was obviously more than his looks.

"You got that," he said, his tone implying more. Ben glanced at Win, reading something into that tone but unsure what it could be.

"Um, I'm going to give Kerr a hand. Check out the view," Ben instructed before leaving Win alone. After Ben was gone into the kitchen, Win pulled a face at himself, feeling like it could've gone better.

Ben moved close to Kerr and planted a kiss on his lips in greeting.

So what was it about that guy you liked so much? His intense stare?

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr wound an arm around Ben’s waist, gathering him close for the kiss and frowning when he pulled back.

Intense stare? I... well, I guess he does but that didn’t really register, no. He’s just nice. Gentle. Those eyelashes and curls are fucking ridiculous, too, he grinned, reacting when the microwave beeped and the second bag of blood was done warming. He kept hold of Ben and put the third in before he started pouring, not wanting to release his love and knowing he could act like his other hand and help him pour the blood into the glass he’d set out, anyway.

Fuck, I’m thirsty. It’s so hard to concentrate. Fucking Jeanne was at me the whole time I was with her, trying to get at my thoughts - but not directly, she just kept prodding at me, gently, always looking at what I was thinking and feeling. The number of times she asked about you just to disarm me... and THEN! Ohmygod she fucking asked to see my dick! Like I was just supposed to flop it out for her right there! That’s when I left, he shook his head reproachfully at the memory, mostly fascinated by the delicious look of the blood oozing into the glass he was squeezing it into, rather than thinking about Jeanne.

She fucking kissed me, too, so when I met Win, I had her lipstick on my mouth. He wiped it off. Kerr’s smile resurfaced and his agitation disappeared as he thought about what a relief being with Win was after leaving Jeanne. Maybe I just liked him because he was so nice by comparison!

[Trillian]

Ben let Kerr explain it all, surprised that Jeanne had been so forward, but his comment about her request was overshadowed by Win and Kerr's coming together.

He wiped it off, huh? Ben replied with a smile on his face and sarcasm in the thought as it was sent. He's quick with the compliments and he looked me over in a way that...

reminded me of Lazarus, Ben wanted to say, but he blocked that thought off before it could surface.

it was... he began again, trying to describe what that look was about, but he couldn't be sure beyond feeling like Win was much too much for him.

He's a bit too intense, Ben said, helping Kerr pour blood into glasses. Kerr's hunger echoed in him and he didn't need much of a prompt to drink, being so young. I'll have a drink with the two of you but I think you'll be on your own with him for the extra stuff.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr looked at Ben, a troubled expression on his face. The microwave beeped, signalling that the third bag was done but he ignored it in favour of turning to face Ben and embrace him properly, wrapping both arms about his waist.

That’s a shame. I... it’s not as appealing, without you. I’d rather just be here with you than off with someone else, no matter how cute they are, he admitted, his mouth twisting ruminatively as he tried to decipher his feelings. He and Win had been flirting and had a delicious kiss but, with Ben in his arms, it was impossible to justify choosing anyone else. Why would he discard perfection for something untasted?

That was the point, of course he knew that but... he wasn’t that hard up for sex that he was highly motivated to explore, at this moment. It felt cheap and trivial by comparison, now that he was looking at the man he loved. He didn’t want to be a cock tease, but that was also no reason to pursue something just for the sake of it. His feelings might change once he was alone with Win again, he supposed but he was certainly hesitant now.

[Trillian]

Then send him away, you don't have to go ahead if you don't want, Ben replied quickly, hugging Kerr back. After drinks you can call him an Uber on my account so he's not out of pocket or anything. Hey, I was actually going to hunt down Vex tonight, find out how things went with Charon. He was at Penbrook for the whole night, it can't have been all sex. I'd like to know what they talked about.

Win, without knowing that the subject of playtime with him was now closed in Ben's mind, moved to the windows dutifully at Ben's suggestion. He could smell the heated blood, and while he wasn't thirsting for it because of the glass he'd just had at Venture, he wasn't going to turn down another. He liked it when his senses were sharp.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr laughed out loud at the fact that Ben wanted to know how Vex and Charon’s night of passion went - not because of jealousy or even because Ben cared that his friend had found someone he liked but because there had to be juicy pillow talk that he might get some information from. Did he not know everything there was to know about Charon already? That was Ben, though; always looking for more.

He rolled his eyes indulgently, kissing Ben and releasing him in order to tend to the third bag of blood. You’re incorrigible and I love you. After we drink, I’ll take Win down and organise a free room for him. He’s thinking he’ll stay in the city a while and he’s trying not to spend any money until he finds something permanent. Helping him with that is the least I can do. While I do, maybe get Vex up here? I’d be interested to hear what he has to say, too, he admitted.

Kerr had been in two minds about comping a room to Win but now that he was going to renege on their unspoken agreement, it only seemed fair that he pay somehow. Besides, he liked the idea of having the sexy brunette close - and not just because he was a potential vote for Ben. The thought of a kiss like the one they’d shared being just a lift ride away was a delightful tease; he could pay Win a visit and do it again whenever he liked. Yes, a sinful delight for sure.

Squeezing the last drop out of the bag in his hand, Kerr disposed of it then handed the warmest glass to Ben. The second would go to Win and he’d keep the coolest glass for himself. He picked them up and looked at Ben, intending on walking out to the lounge room with him. It would probably be best if they remained standing to drink, he thought idly, though sitting beside Ben would subtly clue Win into the changing face of their situation.

[Trillian]

Ben left the kitchen with his glass and joined Win at the window, Kerr behind him. Win took his offered glass and thanked Kerr quietly before looking back at Ben. He thought he could see a detachment in the blonde's expression, like he wasn't really looking at Win but through him.

"How long have you been in the city?" Ben asked.

Win was disappointed. After he and Kerr had been in the kitchen together, silent except for the microwave and pouring of blood, their mental conversation had obviously been about Win. For Ben to next ask about something without looking like he cared about the answer meant that he wasn't interested in participating. The way Kerr had gushed about him, it was possible that Win might lose the opportunity with him, too (if he hadn't already).

"Not long. It was a full moon the night I arrived, so you can work it out from there I guess. That's when I met Cub. Ichabod, I suppose," he said, glancing at Kerr and lifting his glass in a 'cheers' motion. "Sorry, Kerr, that I didn't mention I met him straight away, it was only after we were headed back here that I discovered I had a one-night stand with someone you knew so well. It was him that put me up at the Majester, actually. I'm surprised he didn't bring me here."

Ben blinked at Win, the information he'd divulged in a few sentences had a lot to unpack and he stood there, frozen, thinking about Win and Ichabod together. It also sounded like Kerr hadn't known.

"You have amazing taste in men, Kerr," Win continued. "Cub's lovely. I don't think he's interested in me beyond that single night though. We've shared a couple of texts, some naughty photos, but he's been busy each time I reach out so I can take a hint. I hope you won't knock me back because of that," he said, his gaze shifting to Ben.

Ben, on the other hand, had his interest piqued by Win's confession, (and this was exactly as Win had hoped, since Kerr had described his lover as controlled, quiet, not swayed by emotional reflexes and a strategist - it had armed Win with enough information to present himself as interesting to Ben because that's what Ben needed... someone interesting), and so Ben began re-assessing him.

"You think I'll knock you back because Cub decided one night of you was enough?" Ben asked, close enough to an insult that it could've been read that way. Win just laughed.

"Could be, could be," he said, then sipped his blood and 'mmmd' at it, aware that Ben also lifted his glass to his lips at around the same time. He glanced at Kerr, to see how he was taking this news.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr had stiffened when Win mentioned Ichabod’s name, which Ben would’ve felt because he was pressed against him, the hand not pouring blood into his mouth on Ben’s hip. His grip tightened momentarily, too, as he stared at Win in shock.

He was confessing now but Kerr couldn’t help feeling deceived simply because Win had clearly worked it out immediately and said nothing. Then he’d asked Kerr to tell him all about Ben. Kerr went cold, feeling like he’d been played for a fool. Perhaps his instincts had been completely wrong; perhaps Win wasn’t trustworthy at all. He could be hiding anything. He could be a spy, sent to get information out of them in the same way Ben wanted to get it from Vex.

“Why didn’t you mention this earlier?” Kerr asked suspiciously, his voice tight. It would’ve been different if Win had spoken up immediately. Paranoia wasn’t a natural state for Kerr but now that he’d fallen into it, his brain was having a wonderful time, cavorting through all sorts of crazy theories about who Win was.

[Trillian]

Here it was, the crunch. It had been a strategic move, risking potentially losing Kerr while winning Ben over. Honesty was his best and only play - he would present the facts in his favour.

"We were walking back to your car when you dropped his name, and I was already looking forward to spending time with you. I should've said something then but... I was already interested in you and you seemed keen as well. You and he aren't together so I didn't want to make it a thing." He shrugged and glanced at Ben, whose expression was calculating. Hmn, had he gone the wrong way?

"Did he talk about us?" Ben asked, surprising Win.

"Um, yeah. A bit. We were talking about our sires."

Ben nodded. "By name?"

"No, he never once said Kerr's name, or I would've known straight away. He didn't say your name either. Just, my sire, my brother."

Ben nodded again. "Is that all you talked about?"

"He asked me about travelling all over the world. He asked if I was going to put down roots here."

"What did you say?"

"I said yes, that I wanted to settle somewhere."

"Is this before or after sex with him?" Ben asked.

"In between different moves," Win said, "and different locations."

"Different locations? I thought it was a one-night stand. You had sex before the hotel?" Ben challenged.

"Yeah, we met at the lake. He caught me skinny dipping."

Ben smiled, but he still had a shrewd look on his face. Win's gaze shifted back to Kerr.

[Existentially Odd]

Once Kerr realised Ben was asking Win about Ichabod, Kerr withdrew. He walked a few steps away and sat on the couch facing them, listening but wishing he wasn’t.

He didn’t want to hear about Win fucking Ichabod, not when or where or how many times. It made his skin crawl and he knew Ichabod wouldn’t want him to know. He was mildly appalled by Ben’s curiosity, knowing that if the situation were reversed, Ben would be infuriated if Ichabod got such personal information about him.

There was something niggling at him. As Win had said, why hadn’t he brought Win here? When your sire owns a fucking hotel for supernaturals and you hook up with a homeless guy that needs somewhere to stay, there had to be a pretty big reason not to go from point A to point B.

Was it just to keep them separated? In his paranoid state, Kerr created conspiracy theories that involved Cub knowing something they didn’t and protecting them from it. They hadn’t asked Win if he worked. Perhaps he’d come to town to support Jake’s campaign somehow. Maybe he was Brotherhood and affiliated with the Sacramentum. Could Kerr actually trust that he’d been in Venture for the first time tonight after weeks in the city?

By the time Win shifted to look at Kerr, the elder vampire’s expression had become an unwelcoming scowl. He met Win’s gaze and was surprised by the severity of his anger. This all still reeked of dishonesty, even if Win answered Ben smoothly enough for it to be believable. He was this close to just invading Win’s mind and seeing for himself.

“What aren’t you telling us?” he demanded, impatient to get it all out in the open. He was sitting forward on the couch, his empty glass on the coffee table before him, his hands clasped together between his spread knees.

[Trillian]

Win figured his night of intimacy with them was lost when he saw Kerr's face and heard the demanding question. Taking in a breath, he released it in a sigh and nodded.

"Okay, I'll tell you the other thing, though I don't know exactly what it will mean to you," he admitted, piquing Ben's interest even more, "but I think it will mean something."

He glanced at Ben before heading for the couch where Kerr sat though chose the one adjacent, where he could look at Kerr. He took a couple of big swallows of his blood as Ben sat himself beside Kerr, perched on the edge of his seat and Win couldn't help but think of its figurative meaning as well as the literal one. Obviously the description had come from what people actually did.

Half of his glass of blood drunk, Win licked his lips and then looked at them both. Damn, they made a nice looking couple. His risk to win Ben over hadn't worked even though the blonde was more attentive to him now and didn't have that cool, disinterested look anymore. Losing Kerr had spoiled his earnings and even though things were a little awkward now, he felt a bit of relief at airing the truth. As he'd told Cub, he really wasn't a deceptive person.

"Okay, so... when Cub and I talked about our sires, I mentioned to him that I hadn't been with mine for a long time. I don't know that I told him all of it. Basically, I'm two hundred years old and I was with my sire for nine years, and he lost interest in me in favour of someone else. It hurt at the time, I still have feelings for him but I don't know how I'd feel if I saw him again. Anyway, when I dropped his name, Cub had this reaction that I immediately knew he recognised who my sire was. It made sense because I felt that I was getting closer to him through our bond, right?" he prompted, spinning the glass slowly in his hands and looking from Ben to Kerr. "So Cub tells me not to share who my sire is around the city because I might get negative attention -"

"It's Lazarus, isn't it?" Ben interrupted.

Win stared at Ben, surprised that he'd made that connection so quickly. "You know him, too?"

"Yeah, I know him," Ben said. "He's left the city if you want to go find him."

"I really don't."

Ben and Win stared at one another. Beside Kerr, Ben's mind ticked over all the questions he wanted to ask Win about being Lazarus' fledge. Nine years! They'd been together for nine years! And Kerr had brought Win back home because he liked that he was gentle.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr didn't say anything to the news that Lazarus was Win's sire. He just fell against the back of the couch, his hand automatically moving to rest on Ben's back, concern for him primary in his thoughts. He kept his gaze on Win, though. He believed that this was the truth and love for Ichabod  - because he'd obviously kept Win away from The Luminary in an effort to protect Ben from this reminder of his tormentor - swelled in his heart. He tilted his hips and reached into his pocket to pull his phone out, sending a text to Ichabod using one thumb so his other hand didn't lose contact with Ben:

We met Win tonight. We know about him and you. And his sire. You're beautiful and I love you so much

He turned the phone over on his thigh as he returned his attention to listening to Ben talk, feeling it wasn't his place to speak. What Ben chose to say was his business and, in a way, Kerr was glad he was interested enough to ask things. It showed that his healing was well on track. Kerr had no belief that the sire and the fledge were necessarily alike (he fucking hoped not, considering his own background) so he didn't look at Win any differently because he was Lazarus'. He was still struggling to forgive him for his deception - although that, too, was more understandable now.

Leading into a first meeting with details about your questionable lineage was hardly a successful strategy. He understood why Win had kept things to himself now. He just needed a beat to process it and forgive him. He could feel his expression relenting into something far more neutral, at least.