Theo laughed, shaking their head, "Unfortunately, contracts don't work quote that way. Before the contract is made, you may make terms. But Arcadia -- the sentient, whimsical power that gives Fae their magic -- is the entity that decides what allows a contract to be made." Theo scowls. "As you can imagine, it doesn't care about what is fair. It doesn't, however, give everything to the Fae." Theo spun a bottle across the palm of one hand, stopping it as it pointed towards Jake. "Let's use the previous example. If you broke that, for example, I wouldn't be able to come for you directly. I would be able to attack one of your safe havens. With as weak as the agreement would be, it would probably be something like the front door never locks properly, even when you check it, replace it, and try to fix it. Or maybe the pipes always burst when it's a full moon."
They flipped the bottle around, obviously in need to keep their hands busy as they talk. "Our contracts don't grant us some omnipotent power no matter what precautions you take, but they can get nasty really quickly. If you had sealed the contract as you described, with a handshake, a signature, or even a kiss," Theo blew a kiss for dramatic effect, "... the side effect for breaking that could be something like 'Jake is unable to leave Theo's safe haven until Theo desires.' But the awful part of it would be that you would only know the conditions if you had a working command of Glamour. Which you would only have if you belonged to a Fae for quite some time." Theo shrugged, returning the bottle to the bar, leaning forward to look to Jake.
They shook their head, bitterness reaching into their voice. "Make no mistake..." Venom became evident in their words. Their stare became distant, looking through the vampire that sat before them. "You are absolutely right that most Fae Contracts are often nothing but extortion. Your world would be much safer without them."
They blinked, eyes returning to present company and becoming softer. "That's why I wanted to warn you, because learning to speak without offering anything can be a useful skill to have."
Theo considered Jake with a mischevous grin. "But as a politician, there are always risks you have to take, and you don't want to offend any powerful Fae you may come across. Luckily, there are ways to protect yourself, if you happen to have a friendly neighborhood Gentry to help you out." Theo pointed a thumb at their chest, puffing up with a genuine smile. Rohan turned the corner of the bar, abandoning his seat across the room and pouring himself a drink. He gave Jake a knowing look and a sympathetic smile at Theo's posing.
When Jake spoke of decapitation, Rohan startled, eyes turning wide to Jake in disbelief. Theo, however, was overjoyed. "Gah, I knew I would like you." They clapped and Rohan shook his head in self-pity as he lined up two shots and took them nearly simultaneously. Theo's antics necessitated medication, it would seem. They continued nevertheless. "So many people would tiptoe around the question, but it's been a while since I've been able to speak so plainly with someone." Theo gave Jake a smile. "I know that given the subject material, you may be reluctant to do so with me, but I hope you will in time." For some reason, Theo wanted to do more than just be business partners with the man in a boy's body -- they wanted to befriend him, genuinely.
"If I was walking around the streets, you could try take off my head -- and believe me, it'd be a wholly unpleasant situation, I would really like for this not to happen -- but you're right to assume that I'd be alive afterwards. My true form would either have to recollect the scraps of me from the Mortal World or would have to make a new body from scrap glamour. Bodies can be a bitch to get just right, so there's no telling exactly how long I'd be out. Similarly, though, I would likely get a lot more power for my mortal form before I let it return." Theo's eyes got a bit of a sinister gleam in them, as they mumbled under their breath. "Oooo, maybe give it some kind of threefold backlash curse, so people around whoever broke the body would suffer the same fate." Rohan shoulder-checked Theo as he passed by and they snapped back to reality once again. "All daydreaming aside, I think you get my point."