Trick Photography

[Pocky]

Trick turned onto the narrow lighthouse drive that intersected with the cliff side road. With care, he followed the steep road with a few switchbacks until they got to the carpark. It was empty. Trick parked close to the pedestrian walk that would lead the rest of the way to the lighthouse. There was quite a bit of flat terrain and most of it was grass, which prompted Trick to get the picnic rug out of the boot along with the tripod stand. He handed them off to Harm.

Getting his backpack out with his camera equipment, Trick shut the car but didn't lock it. He started up the path, looking back over his shoulder to grin at Harm, bringing the rest of his gear.

The lighthouse was dark. It looked well-maintained but also with a peculiar abandoned quality to it. Trick placed his backpack down on the ground and got the tripod off Harm. Once it was set up he went into his backpack and pulled out a camera and then a huge telescopic lens. He fussed with it for a while after plugging in a cabled remote, looking through the camera up at the stars and pivoting it on its stand so the lighthouse would monopolise one side of the shot with the stars in another.

Once he was satisfied, Trick picked up the remote and pressed it, hearing the shutter open. He set the remote down carefully so he wouldn't bump the equipment and then stepped around it, heading out of the way towards Harm.

[Existentially Odd]

Harm couldn't help but smile and breathe a laugh as Trick looked back at him walking behind him on the path. He wasn't much more than a shadow highlighted with tendrils of minimal moonlight but the whites of his teeth showed. Strands of his hair also blew around his eyes in shadowy wisps as the sea breeze fretted at them both, causing Harm's heart to leap at the natural beauty of Trick. Dear gods, what was he getting himself into, following this beautiful man into a romantic setting when he was supposed to be guarding himself against future pain? He tried to calm his breathing and looked down at where his feet were going instead.

Once the tripod was taken off him, Harm moved away from Trick, noting the precision with which he was arranging his camera. He didn't want to cause any sort of strife, so he sought out a particularly grassy patch a couple of metres away and battled the breeze to get the picnic rug spread out. In the end, he pretty much dived on it and forced the thing into its proper, extended shape, using his wallet to weigh down one corner and his phone the other. He shuffled over to the opposite side and stretched his leg towards the third and leant back on his hands to secure the fourth. He tucked his other leg over to give Trick room to sit when he returned.

He examined the shadow that was Trick for a little while but then his gaze was drawn to the lighthouse, travelling its dilapidated length towards the sky. He'd been here before but not often. He closed his eyes, breathing in the scent of the sea and salted air, listening to the muted roar of the waves crashing against the cliff far below and luxuriating in the breezy mist already upon his skin. He licked his lips and smiled before he opened his eyes, his face tilted upward. He sighed blissfully as he stared into the glittering depths of space, his gaze flicking from constellation to constellation, marvelling at their beauty and mystery, wondering how many of them were dead and how long long ago they'd left the galaxy, their light-ghosts the only remnant of a once bright and blazing existence.

There was a quote Harm had read once - from a book by Akshay Vasu that he hadn't read, he was ashamed to admit - but he used it like a mantra whenever he came to the stars for healing. Before Trick returned, he murmured it to himself while looking at the stars. “You are a ghost. Filled with stardust, wearing the bones as the shield and the skin as the cape. Fighting every day and opening up for the new wounds in the hustle of hiding the old scars.” He also thought of that other quote by... Krauss, he thought it was, or Carl Sagan maybe, about people being made of stardust. It always soothed him but it was long and he usually looked it up on his phone.

He turned his head to smile at Trick as he heard his feet swishing through the grass, heading back towards him.

[Pocky]

Trick knelt first on the rug, close to Harm's hip. Looking down at the blond man he paused to take him in. The wind was prevalent but not extreme. It tugged on his clothes but didn't go straight through them. It whipped his hair to one side but mostly kept it out of his face instead of shifting it back and forth. The air smelled clean; he was closer to the grass than the ocean so he could smell the land, but the water nymph in him was more strongly aware of the ocean tide. It felt like it was pressing forward, pushing in on him. He heard its repetitive hammer against the cliff side many metres below them. With the sound of the ocean in his ears, the scent of grass in his nose and Harm in front of his eyes, Trick drank everything in, committing it to memory before he shuffled down onto his side, pressing close to Harm even as he lay down beside him.

He licked his lips. Propped up on an elbow at Harm's side, Trick moved forward with the intention of kissing, the hand not supporting him had Harm's side held in a scoop.

[Existentially Odd]

Harm moved to reflect Trick's pose, abandoning his desire to keep the fluttering corners of the blanket down and turning onto his side as well. He was holding his breath as he met Trick's lips, only daring to exhale once their mouths fitted around each other like two halves of a set. His loose hand drifted up to cup Trick's face, feeling the muscles and tendons of his jaw working as his tongue pressed forward, lapping the cool salty air off Trick's lips in turn before it moved to tentatively brush against Trick's tongue.

He couldn't seem to catch his breath. He couldn't seem to mind. His body came to life, hyper aware of Trick's hand on his side and of not pushing forward. His mind was filled with thoughts of steady, too soon, don't be too eager while his body sang out, he's here! He's back! I'm home. The conflict was frustrating but the kiss was undeniably delicious. He didn't want to go too hard too fast but it was difficult to resist the beauty of a water nymph under the moonlight.

[Pocky]

The kiss lasted for a long time, eventually rising in intensity before Trick mellowed it out and finally broke away with small pecks that stubbornly refused to break the kiss completely. He was panting and grinning when they stopped and he lay down, pulling Harm down against him and pillowing his head into the crook of his shoulder.

"So. I thought I'd suck you in with my sexy kisses before revealing I'm a hypocrite," he said. It would've been difficult to notice Trick's heartbeat quicken after what they'd done but from where Harm lay, it wasn't impossible. Trick sighed and looked up at the stars instead of at Harm's face because it would be easier to tell them about it.

"So. I'm just going to spill all of it if you don't mind not interrupting?" He sighed again and cleared his throat. "You remember I told you about that vampire club, Risk? I didn't tell you it got shut down shortly after I'd gone there, leaving vamps nowhere to pick up. I'd already given my number out to Marcellus, the vampire who'd drunk from me there, and uh... we'd hooked up in the rooms out back and I thought that was that. But then he calls and invites me to his place and I'm smitten, you know? I'm this eighteen year old idiot and he's over a hundred so he knows exactly how to play me. Marcel tells me how special I am and how my blood can cure... something I don't even remember anymore. I'm the idiot who believes it all and lets him pass me around to his vampire buddies like a joint. He's giving me pills that I'd take without question at this stage and of course I'm high and happy enough to go along with whatever. I'm totally addicted by this stage, I'd sneak out and go to him whenever he called. I call him my boyfriend even though he's really my pimp. After some months of this one of the vamp buddies that he lends me out to 'saves' me from this situation. Of course I'm horrified and embarrassed and I end up falling for Serren. I'm thinking how lucky I am but Serren isn't as old or well-off as Marcel, so he's always got some money trouble. One night he begs me to offer my blood to this vampire guy he owes money to and I did it, but then I ended up doing it any time Serren wants something nice for himself. My dad was the one who ended up pulling me out of that situation when he found a bunch of pornos of me online that Serren made. It's then I realise how blind I can be to good-looking guys who want to use me. So I moved back home. So. I don't mind moving fast but I know I get paranoid when I get confused about whether someone likes me or if it's just sex."

Trick closed his eyes for a long moment, awaiting Harm's reaction.

[Existentially Odd]

Harm swallowed when Trick finished his tale, his hand still roving absently back and forth across Trick's chest. He wasn't sure if he was trying to make Trick or himself feel better with the patting. It was a lot to absorb. His heart was heavy, sympathy for Trick weighing it down.

"That's... pretty awful. I'm so sorry that happened to you but... your dad's amazing. You're so lucky he got you away from them, got you clean." Harm fell quiet, running everything through again, processing it more slowly. He couldn't imagine Trick out of his mind on pills, having sex with anyone that wanted him and letting them drink from him. It put his reaction to Harm into a very different light, also.

"So you didn't know I liked you? You thought I only wanted to have sex with you? That's why you pulled away from me?" he hazarded, feeling mildly guilty that he was turning this back on himself.

[Pocky]

Trick opened his eyes and looked at Harm, his expression clear from so close but it was just watchful and gave nothing away.

"It's too heavy to dump this on you so soon but it's all I can think to do to give us a chance. You talking about Ben just... I didn't know how to deal with it. And on the drive back to Chinatown the conversation turned again. It brought that old memory back to the surface and I ended up looking for signs that you were playing me. Confirmation bias."

[Existentially Odd]

Harm blinked and frowned, sliding his head back along Trick's arm a little to better gauge his expression. "To give us a chance?" he echoed, vaguely bewildered by the wording. He sighed, his gaze falling thoughtfully to Trick's mouth as he considered what it must have been like for Trick to listen to him confess he'd spent a night with a vampire. Compared to what he'd been through, it was nothing. But Trick was an addict. Harm must've been a red flag, scaring the shit out of him.

"It was stupid," he sighed again. "I never should've talked about him, it was just, I was nervous and trying to impress you - or reassure you, maybe? - I dunno. He was," Harm huffed and rolled his eyes, wishing he could take everything he'd said back, "like, the only sex I'd had in eighteen months and also the only real supernatural person I'd ever met. I'm not sure if it was an apology or a declaration or just some weird way I was trying to show I was cool or something." Again, he shook his head and lifted his hand off Trick's chest to rub agitatedly at his forehead.

"It was dumb and I'm really sorry. I definitely wasn't playing you," he laughed hollowly at the thought, wrapping his arm across Trick's waist and squeezing him as he moved his head back into the crook of his shoulder again, thinking. Should he talk about Luke? He shied from it, turning the conversation back onto Trick. "So do you go to meetings or anything? Because of the pill addiction?"

[Pocky]

"I got that on the day," Trick said, agreeing when Harm explained about Ben again. "I believe you're not playing me," he said with a grin, but then Harm said something that made him blink his surprise.

"What?" Trick asked, bewildered and frowning at Harm, half-smiling out of the side of his mouth as he looked awkwardly at the blond in his arms. "I don't have a pill addiction. I was only on them sporadically, not enough to be a habit. I went through a few weeks of wanting them but not withdrawal. I stopped getting wasted, too, but I'm not an alcoholic either." He shrugged, bumping Harm's head on his shoulder.

[Existentially Odd]

"Oh," Harm said, blushing as he realised he'd misinterpreted when, in his speech, Trick had said 'by this time I was addicted'. "Well. That's good, then," he mumbled, embarrassed.

Trick obviously took care of his body because he enjoyed it and liked the results, not because it was part of some clean living manifesto he had, to maintain sobriety. Harm was ashamed by how relieved he was, knowing how difficult life could be, living with an addiction of any kind. There was the love of vampire bites, he supposed, but Harm couldn't see that ever becoming an issue for Trick again.

It was a weird thing, to be contemplating connecting his life to Trick's more fully and discerning the parts that were easily acceptable and the parts that would be challenging. Trick wasn't a shopping list, he was a human being. Again, shame washed through Harm - but there was excitement, too. Because Trick wanted to 'give them a chance' and he'd revealed the depths of his life in order to do so. A chance for what, exactly?

"Were you in love with them both? Marcel and Serren?" he enquired, curious about how many times Trick had let his heart go. "Are they the only big relationships you've had?"

[Pocky]

“Love is blind, right?” Trick said with a cynical chuckle. “I’ve had boyfriends after them. All that stuff happened years ago. You brought it to the surface through bad luck.”

Trick half rolled towards Harm and then scooched over so he could look down on him. “There was also that bad business with Buoy,” he said with conviction.

[Existentially Odd]

The mention of Buoy brought a smile to Harm's face and he gave a half-hearted giggle. He reached up to play with Trick's hair, running his fingers through it (figuring the wind had destroyed any sort of style he might've been holding onto and he wouldn't get in trouble for messing it up), curling it around his ear, the heel of his hand smoothing down the side of his face, caressing his cheek and his lips with his thumb. The action was thoughtful more than lustful, his gaze roving Trick's face.

"You're a lot more experienced at... this than me," he mused quietly, thinking that although Trick hadn't necessarily had healthy relationships, he certainly seemed to have thrown himself into things wholeheartedly. Harm had spent his life watching from the sidelines and regretting every time he dipped his toe in the water. And to think he'd genuinely wondered if Trick was a virgin because of the way he'd been acting. He blushed at his naivete.

He was intimidated by Trick, even though he was younger, unsure how he could measure up. He was just a human and inexperienced to boot. How did he expect to hold someone like Trick's attention? His heart squeezed painfully as he imagined being rejected because he was so boring. "D'you wanna know about... me?" he offered.

[Pocky]

Trick studied Harm as he was touched, pooching his lips momentarily when Harm stroked his thumb across them, then they widened into a smile. "Yeah," he said softly when told about his experience. He lowered his eyes momentarily and one of his shoulders lifted lightly before he returned his gaze to Harm's face.

"Only if you want to tell me, and only after some more kisses," he said, lowering himself over Harm but keeping his full weight off him through the use of his elbows. He moved a leg between Harm's own, moulding himself to Harm's side as he kissed tentatively, sensing from Harm's soft-voiced question that he felt vulnerable and overwhelmed by Trick's tale.

[Existentially Odd]

Harm was more than happy to comply with that direction, surrendering to Trick's mouth with a smile. He worked an arm beneath Trick so he could wrap both of his around him, hugging him firmly. The jacket he was wearing was restrictive, its fitted nature allowing very little movement in his arms but it was enough to allow his hands to rove over Trick's back, kneading and massaging as he explored gently. He turned his lower body into Trick's with a sigh of contentment, squeezing his leg between both of his and establishing a delightful rhythm with his hips, hooking his booted foot behind Trick's knee.

The kiss deepened and he lost himself in the sensation of dragging his tongue against Trick's, of tasting and breathing him in as the cool night air washed over them. His groin throbbed with growing urgency as they ground against each other, the blood rushing to make him uncomfortably hard in his jeans. Predictably, Trick began to ease things when they started getting a bit frantic and Harm whimpered into his mouth, frustrated that reality had to intrude.

When they finally managed to separate their mouths and Trick was laying beside him again, panting in time with his own erratic breathing, Harm laughed wearily. "This is beginning to border on cruel," he murmured offhandedly, then cleared his throat, knowing it was time to reciprocate Trick's confession - though his was nowhere near as intense. Harm sighed, wriggling around a little to stop his jacket bunching beneath him, bending the leg farthest from Trick so that his raised knee could sway. He tugged his jeans into a more comfortable position, too, to allow a little more room for his flagging erection. When he stilled, he was flat on his back, staring up at the stars, his fingers resting on their tips atop his chest.

"Okay. So, I was a late starter, compared to most. I arrived at college pretty innocent but with a healthy interest in changing my, er, status. Had my first at eighteen - it was not the magical experience movies promised me it would be!" he declared imperiously, raising a finger and tipping his head slightly towards Trick, "but it did the job. There were a few guys that first year, none were great. Second year I fell in love. His name was Luke. He was big and blond and gorgeous and I had it bad for him. Unfortunately, so did Trevor. His boyfriend," Harm emphasised wryly. He sighed again.

"It went unrequited, we were just friends. Third year, Luke and Trevor disappeared suddenly - the rumour mill said they had a car accident and Trevor died, Luke went back to his folks for care. No-one knew anything certain. I nursed my poor broken heart through the rest of college. Afterwards, I came to the city and made the usual mistakes - hooked up with a few asshole doctors, another nurse and some wardies. Just, generally shat where I ate kinda thing to make my life at the hospital niiiice and awkward," he laughed hollowly.

"When I was twenty-four, I decided I was done with casual stuff, I wanted to try a relationship. I think I managed three? Yeah, three but they only lasted like, a month each before I scared them off with my terrifying discussions of what I wanted in the future." He paused to muse for a moment, wondering if Trick would also make a hasty retreat when he told him what he wanted for his life. Oh well, it had always been his philosophy that if they didn't stay, it wasn't meant to be... no matter how much that hurt. The older he got, the more that stung, though.

"Then I met Adam. He seemed perfect. Everything was wonderful, at first. He was devoted, attentive, told me he loved me within, like, two weeks, which blew me away. My first real boyfriend. First and last. He didn't mind so much that I didn't say I loved him back - no way was I giving my hear away to get broken like with Luke - but things started to change after a month or so. He started asking lots more questions, wanting to know where I was, who I was with, when I'd be home, that sort of thing. Fast forward to four months and he hit me when he didn't like me telling him it was one of his business. Smashed up my face, dislocated my shoulder, scared me shitless."

Harm paused to steady himself, sighing. "I didn't see him for a few weeks, then he called me, wanted to get the stuff he'd left at my place back. Apologised profusely. I thought it was reasonable, so I arranged a time for him to come over but I had one of my wardie friends from work there, just in case. The fucker waited 'til Baz was in the bathroom then attacked me. Baz got rid of him before he did much more than shove some socks in my mouth and rip my clothes but, yeah, I was a bit traumatised after that. No men for a very long time," Harm laughed as he wiped a hand in front of them. His voice was only slightly shaky.

"Then, a couple of months ago, Luke walked back into my life - though it wasn't him. It sounds like a crazy plot from a movie but it turns out, when he disappeared in college, he was kidnapped by some weird facility that did experiments on him. They'd swiss-cheesed his brain too, he didn't really remember me but wanted me to help him remember his life beforehand. I was more than happy to, I mean, this was the guy I'd loved, of course I jumped at the chance to help him!" he laughed again.

"But it hasn't been easy. We got closer and tried to get intimate but he... he's got a shifter arm and anger issues. When we got close to having sex, he got really violent and held me down and of course I freaked the fuck out. Thankfully, he had a flashback before anything bad happened and let me go. He cried, I cried, we sorted it out. We've been seeing each other since then but it hasn't been... satisfying. In multiple ways. He'd come over and we'd do some parallel stuff - because he was scared he'd hurt me - which was sexy and exciting at first but grew frustrating. Then his boss - he works for District Leader Jake McCloud - banned him from coming to Chinatown because of the Kuei-Jin or political reasons, I don't even know," Harm sighed, waving his hand dismissively again.

"It doesn't matter. We were down to coffee or dinner dates whenever our schedules lined up and we could snatch some time together. I haven't even heard from him for, like, three weeks or something. So, Monday night I called him and told him it just wasn't working for me. We can still be friends but I'm done hoping for more. It would never have worked out, anyway. He's not the settling down type - the guy shoved a fucking pen through his hand to demonstrate his insane healing abilities and barely flinched!" Harm exclaimed, lifting his other hand to point to the meat between his thumb and index finger where Luke had stabbed himself.

"He's a machine that has spent most of his time warning me he's a monster and I should stay away from monsters anyway. He's never approved of my interest in knowing more about the supernatural," Harm shrugged. "He wanted to protect me. He's sweet but... we really don't see eye to eye on most stuff so... I was thinking about stuff and decided it was time I faced facts and went for what I wanted." His hand dropped towards Trick's, implying that he was what he wanted, hoping this wasn't the bit where Trick pushed him away and told him everything he'd said was too heavy. His heart fluttered with nervousness as he sought to intertwine their fingers.

[Pocky]

There was a growing moment of silence as Trick and Harm entwined fingers. "I just need to... take that in," he said eventually, turning his head and smiling quickly at Harm, giving him a peck on the lips before looking back up at the stars.

Minutes passed. "So," he said finally. "I'm not really all that supernatural. I know, I'm Fae, but I live a very human life. I've never done any of the water rituals or involved myself in the Fae community. Any time I do dip in I find myself disliking it. Like at the carnival, with those aggressive naked demons swinging their dicks around my sister. At the same time, I know about that world because I'm part of it, so you can always talk to me about it and have access to it. I won't tell you what you should or shouldn't do. I find that really controlling and upsetting."

Because Trick had an arm around Harm, he rubbed that hand upon Harm's side in a soothing gesture. He sighed and then grunted his displeasure.

"This might be hard for you to hear. I'm not making plans for the future. I'm twenty-three and it feels too early for that for me. I just want to hang and be chill and see where things go. If you have a deadline... I can't."

Trick turned his head, watching Harm intently, a hint of worry in his eyes.