Birds Of A Feather

[Existentially Odd]

(Continued from Testing 1, 2)

Samuel reached Dreki's apartment within the fifteen minutes he'd nominated. Before he knocked, he straightened his blue flannelette shirt, debating tucking it in but deciding to leave it out. This was a casual visit and he wanted it to stay that way. Dreki wouldn't care what he was wearing anyway.

He lifted his fist and rapped twice on Dreki's door, tucking the fingertips of both hands into his front jeans pockets while he waited.

[Maxpphire]

When he read Sam's last message he had smiled and continued back to his work, leaving the headphones off of one of his ears so he could hear the door, sure enough fifteen minutes came and gone, to end with someone knocking at his door. He closed his laptop, got up from the desk in his room, and walked to the door. He had been wearing a pair of black dress pants, a white button up shirt without his usual vest, and black socks. Arguably that was casual wear for Dreki, he was wearing the clothes he had been earlier that day and didn't make an effort to change into something else

When he opened the door, he smiled an opened the door wide, allowing Sam to make it inside without being in his way. He closed the door once Sam made it inside.

"Hello, again sorry for the mess," his tone was joyful, happy to see Sam for sure. Other than the box by the door, his apartment was clean. Not even the pile of books by his giant two person yogibo was there. There was a a new addition on his wall, a picture frame that was one of those nice ones that held 3 separate photos.

The bottom photo was very clearly him with a young adult girl, a recent photo, both had their arms that was closest the other around eachother and smiles on their faces. The photo in the middle was similar, Dreki had looked the same, while the girl looked like a young teenager. There was a visible age difference between the girl in those photos, while there wasn't with Dreki. The top photo was most telling, Dreki had clearly looked younger, had much shorter and darker blond hair, and holding a seeing cane in the hand not wrapped around what was now this girl as a child. On the frame engraved on the horizontal edges was the name Emma Lenore Johnson, two dates, one was a little over 19 years ago as August 5th and the other one was a couple of weeks ago, and the phrase "Thanks for being my Blue Canary". Sure Dreki couldn't see the photos, but it felt important to him to have that up there. Someone had helped him choose the photos to put in the frame and he had trusted that they choose good ones. It was his way of honoring her. He could feel the letters and knew very well what it all said.

"So, you said you wanted to chat?" He asked, "Did you want to on the couch? Kitchen table? Elsewhere?" He was trying to be accommodating to Sam. He had no idea what this was about, but was happy to have a break from his side project, and hanging out with Sam seemed like a better way to spend the night than in front of his laptop anyway. Even if all they did was talk.

[Existentially Odd]

Samuel walked into Dreki's apartment and looked around for the purported mess but he failed to see anything significant. He frowned at the box by the door, disbelieving that that was what Dreki was talking about but finding no other options. And he was serious! It was the perfect example of how they could never co-habit, that was for sure. He could school Dreki on true mess. "You and I have very different ideas about what constitutes a mess, my friend," Sam said wryly, completing his spin inspection of the living area.

He noticed the pictures on the wall and walked towards them to inspect them properly. "Couch is fine," he answered absently, "don't reckon it'd be too comfortable to chat on the kitchen table." He exhaled a laugh at his tease, coming to a stop in front of the photographs, his gaze roving over the framed pictures curiously. "So this is Emma, huh? She looked sweet. It's a lovely tribute." Sam frowned, knowing Dreki wouldn't be able to see the two dimensional photographs but assuming he'd done it for reasons unknown to Sam. That was fine.

[Maxpphire]

"Its something that's not usually there but is. I feel like I've been stubbing my toes on it left and right, no matter where I put it. Not sure what else to call it really. If I had stuff all over the floor is probably trip more often than I'd like to admit" he half joked, speaking lightheartedly as he made his way to the couch, chucking at Sam's joke.

"And yeah, who needs chairs?" He joked in regards to the kitchen table comment as he sat himself down on the couch. He had noticed Sam had stopped in front of the photos and having heard the comment made him slow down a bit. There was a small somber feeling that sat in his stomach, but other than that, he had gotten to the point where he could talk about her again, at least in light conversation.

"Thank you. Seems as if the guy at the store picked out decent photos after all. I haven't had anyone come over since I hung it up so I hadn't been able to confirm that yet." He smiled, it was calm and relaxed. There was a twinge of somberness deep within his tone, but it left when he changed topics.

"So what did you want to talk about?" He asked, watching Sam, wondering what he wanted to chat about. His nerves kicked in and began to wonder if it was something serious. What if Sam decided that after a night he didn't want to try anymore? What if Sam decided that instead of trying that they just go for it? What if it was neither of those things and just work stuff? Or maybe about what Dreki's abilities actually we're given how before last night, he never talked to Sam about what his angel like abilities even are. His heart began to beat a little faster with anticipation as he tried his best to bury all of those thoughts, and just listen to what Sam had to say.

[Existentially Odd]

As he sat on the edge of the couch, spread-legged and comfortable, Samuel chuckled at Dreki's admission that he kept stubbing his toes - obviously on that 'messy' box. "D'you think maybe you should stop moving it around so you can remember where it is and not trip over it?" he teased rhetorically, letting the rest of Dreki's statements flow over him. Once it came to the prompt for why he'd come - accompanied by Dreki's heart speeding up rather obviously - Sam's humour faded. His expression sobered much as Dreki's had and he looked down at his hands, pressed palm to palm between his knees, his elbows resting on his thighs.

"I wanted to explain," he answered seriously. "I know I didn't say too much last night. Mainly because I didn't know anything for sure but... I met up with Remi tonight - the angel? From the carnival last night? - and things are a little clearer now." He paused, licking his lips nervously. "He's still partially denying it but - it's a complicated story - I used to know him. I used to care about him. And now he's come back into my life, which I never thought would happen and... I wanted you to know. It seemed the right thing to do."

He hadn't meant to spill it (mostly) all at once; he'd thought he'd have a discussion about Remi being an angel, Dreki being an angel and tell him all about Gene. Apparently not. He waited for Dreki to ask questions, knowing he'd been vague, or maybe tell him to leave. He knew Dreki's interest in them reconnecting was hopeful, that he wanted them to be more than friends but Sam knew that wasn't possible now. He knew, because he was in exactly the same position with Remi.

[Maxpphire]

He had smirked at Sam's teasing jab, but once Sam sat down and spoke more seriously, about the full angel, concerns of his from what had happened at the carnival were half realized. Sam had met up with Remi tonight. He was both curious as to what happened, but felt he'd get sick if he found out it was anywhere near what his thoughts were coming up with. The look on his face went from joyful to neutral by the time Sam had finished.

'I wanted you to know. It seemed the right thing to do.' He wasn't expecting Sam to say this. Last time Sam had just upped and ran away, and such a change of heart was curious. It was both welcomed and unwelcomed. When Sam had originally ghosted him, he had wished that he was just told no outright. But was this really a no? Sam hasn't said much to confirm that, but had started a conversation that could certainly lead them to that point. He could already feel an unhappy twinge within his stomach, the stress of the past two weeks were enough without this. He had kind of wished that Sam had ghosted him this time around just due to that alone if this was Sam turning him down before things had even begun.

"Cared about, in what way?" He asked after his long thoughtful pause. His tone serious yet calm, as he wanted to ease into this slowly, figuring it would be better for him both mentally and physically if he just took on one piece of information at a time.

[Existentially Odd]

Samuel's mouth twisted so that he could gnaw on the skin on the inside of his cheek. Dreki's question was unexpected - he hadn't thought the angel would start that far back. It took a great deal of effort not to squirm beneath his scrutiny.

"Oh. Uh, romantically I guess. I pursued him but he had a boyfriend so he rejected me. We grew close, though - we were friends, even though I wanted more. I was lucky, he didn't resent me or my interest in him. Then, by the time he was single I had a boyfriend and I moved away. Now he's back and we're finally both available," he shrugged.

He glanced at Dreki's mouth, noticing it tighten as if he was suppressing emotion and guilt seeped through Sam. He didn't want to hurt Dreki but it was beginning to look inevitable. Telling him he'd once been in his shoes was no consolation, he was sure - nor was apologising but he'd do that anyway. "I'm sorry... I know you were hoping for more. For us."

[Maxpphire]

'We're finally both available' echoed in his mind. If that wasn't such a clear indicator that Sam had no interest in trying at all, that at best, Dreki would always be in second place, he didn't know what was. That is what hurt the most out of that but in a way he could understand it. Why be with a fake when you could have the real deal, even if they had known eachother previously that was just icing on top the cake. He just wasn't good enough and never would be.

"I see," he said, his tone unchanging. While he had bit the inside of his lip when Sam was talking but in more of a pensive manner. Would he even be able to contact Remi now to talk about angel stuff? Would it be too awkward to even ask? He had to at least try, after all it was his only way into learning anything hands on about his, what now feels like stolen, abilities. "I apologize in advanced for asking this, but I would like to talk with Remi still, like how I mentioned at the carnival. Not about you, but about angel related stuff. I know I'm not a full angel, and never will be, but I want to learn more about my abilities and maybe use them to what my full potential can be," his insecurities showing a bit in how he spoke about himself.

"I know we never really talked about it, but I have wings and thus can fly, I have a sword I can call upon and it will just show up, I can heal others at risk to my own health, I heal incredibly quickly myself. There is plenty I can do but, I could use Remi's help. As far as I'm concerned what happened between us in the past, just, isn't a thing, if he were to ask. Would you be willing to give him my number?" It was very clear that Dreki had no interest in sabotaging their relationship. He knew better than that, he knew you can't force someone to want to be with you. Sam had his uses in other ways to him, and he didn't want to ruin any of that either.

"Also don't be sorry, you can't force yourself to like someone romantically. If you don't like me in that way, then so be it. There isn't anything I can do about that. You should make yourself happy." He said, and while his tone was calm and neutral throughout this, there was a mild somberness to it. That was to be expected, "This couldn't have come at worse time, but I do appreciate you telling me this time around." He smiled at Sam, while there was a small hint of sadness behind his eyes, his expression otherwise seemed happy.

[Existentially Odd]

As Dreki spoke about being an angel like Remi, Samuel couldn't help but wonder what it might be like to fly in the hybrid angel's arms. Although Dreki was taller than Remi, he was fine-boned enough that Sam pondered how large a run up he'd need to get airborne while holding him. Dreki was stronger than he looked but so was Remi - and Remi looked stronger than Dreki, that was for sure. He hadn't found it simple to get the two of them into the sky on wings meant to bear one creature.

"Absolutely, I'll give him your number," Sam responded warmly, thinking, 'now that I've bought him a phone, that can actually happen'. "In fact, you'll probably see him at the Academy most nights, if you come in. I'm employing him to translate some Enochian texts and he's agreed to work on them with me at the library. You'll no doubt see him in my office. I'm sure he'll be happy to take a break and chat with you sometime," he offered, hoping his assessment of Remi being keen to help anyone and everyone was accurate. He had seemed intrigued by Dreki at the carnival but there'd seemed some gruff wariness, too. Like he hadn't trusted Dreki.

Sam deliberately ignored Dreki's final comments, including the dig at him ghosting Dreki when everything with his life had seemed too hard. He deserved the criticism, even if it had been because he'd felt so overwhelmed he simply hadn't known what to do to help Dreki, thereby rendering him inert and helpless. He imagined Dreki had felt even worse though, so there was no honour to be found in justifications. It hadn't been kind or fun - he wasn't proud of the way he'd treated Dreki and he knew the angel had definitely deserved better. He just hadn't been capable of it. It was kind of an ongoing theme with him, one he was interested in obliterating.

[Maxpphire]

While Dreki was still thin, he had gained some muscle after Sam had ghosted him, but it more appeared that he fit in his clothes, than seemed almost too small for his clothes. Excitement came out a bit more as he heard about Remi's job, however concern grew. Did that mean Sam was Remi's boss? Was it even allowed in their employee handbook that they could date their underlings? He couldn't imagine it was a good thing even if it was allowed.

"I'll try and stop by then as well. I've been really busy sorting through other data and really have only made it to the library these past two weeks to grade school work." He mentioned not really giving any promises, but also not saying he wouldn't be there either. Plus he could use a break from the hard drive hell he was in anyway.

"But for now, if you don't mind, I'd actually like to leave," he started "I need to clear my head a bit, maybe find a way to relax a little before I finally go to sleep for the night. I'll try to stop by sometime this week." He was going to try for tomorrow depending on how he felt when he got up, if not ok enough then he'd wait a day or two.

[Existentially Odd]

Samuel blinked when Dreki asked him to leave. "Oh, okay," he agreed, fighting the urge to apologise with a hug. He stood awkwardly, running his hands ruminatively up and down the thighs of his jeans. "Thanks for seeing me tonight, I... " he trailed off, not wanting to tell Dreki he was sorry again. There was no point banging that drum.

"I'll see you around," he said instead, keeping his body to himself (because there was also an odd insistence that he should kiss him on the cheek) but offering a little wave that felt foolish and he dropped almost as soon as it had begun. "I'll see myself out," he nominated, heading quickly for the door (making sure it was locked before he pulled it closed behind him) and leaving with as minimal fuss as possible.

[Maxpphire]

"I'll see you around," he had responded back to Sam as he watched him leave. He was conflicted about it as he was with most everything with this scenario. Part of him wanted to have comforted physically, with a hug or thoughtful touch, but at the same time he knew if that had happened, he probably would have broke down and cried. He leaned back in the couch and closed his eyes.

'Why did I have message him at the carnival? Why did he kiss me if he was going to just turn me down anyway? Why does it have to be Remi? Why does it have to be someone who is an Angel? Why couldn't there be another Angel around that I could ask for help instead? This thoughts filling up with questions that he just couldn't ask Sam as tears finally fell from his face. He felt a deep self hatred for himself at his core. Just more things he blamed upon himself.

He stood up, grabbed his jacket and put on his shoes, then left himself. He left his apartment, and began to go for a walk, to clear his head before bed. He really had hoped this would be the end of his personal hell for a while.