The shower was a great deal more sensual that he'd anticipated. He'd thought Saraekiel would join him just to fuck again but the touching was intimate and gentle and Ben almost asked a few times if the dark angel would allow his wings to get wet so Ben could touch them again. After running his fingers through them in bed the first time, he didn't think Rae's wings could get wet. They weren't normal feathers even though they were soft. They pulsed in time with his heart and were strong beneath Ben's fingers. It made sense, that they would remain dry even in the rain. Birds flew in the rain if they had to, but didn't they have oils in their feathers? Mostly they bunkered down. What did angels and dark angels do?
Rae's touch and the warm spray was making his mind wander over inane things. Ben returned to focus when he was asked about fleeing.
"Flee, escape, they're the same," he said. "I don't want to run away again. I don't want Jake to lord it over me, to think that he drove me out of the city. Fuck that," he said, making a fist and pounding it against the shower tiles, not so hard that he broke them. "Kerr says not to care what he thinks or what everyone else thinks, because I don't owe them. But I don't share that perspective. I've spent my entire life running away from shit and he wants me to keep doing it. It hasn't worked for me yet so I don't know why he thinks it'll work now."
Ben sighed, not wanting to have said all this to Rae because it really belonged to Kerr.
"I'll go, eventually. Unless something big keeps me here," he said, running his hands down Saraekiel's chest and then all the way to his cock, which he gripped with a hand and then puffed laughter because of what he'd just said. "Something important. Something grand," he said, letting go after giving Rae a few milking turns of his hand and then wrapping his arms around his waist.
He was still hurting from Saraekiel's 'no way' response of leading the north with him, but he didn't let it show.