Kerr could feel the disbelieving expression on his face; it had to fall somewhere between disgust and fascination. He had a sliding doors moment where he imagined what might have happened had Ben hooked up with Lazarus before him. He'd likely have been sired quickly. The two of them were a powder keg together and Kerr could imagine that they'd have sparked immediately. Ben had been hungry for the change and he'd have fed Lazarus' ego until he got what he wanted.
If they'd been together all this time, Kerr had no doubt that Ben would be in charge by now. He'd have the control he sought and likely the power, too. Lazarus wouldn't have stood a chance. He hated to think about what stage of his personal development Ben would be at, however. Lazarus' influence could've created a monster for his own delight... or Ben could've stayed the course. Both scenarios were as likely as the other. It was a difficult thing to contemplate with Ben caressing the back of his neck and Lazarus far enough away that the threat wasn't immediate; Kerr pushed it from his mind and grinned ruefully.
"That's... quite the story to think about. No way would he have killed you. He'd have fledged you in three of your heartbeats. What's more concerning is that you would've left me with fucking Mandy. I'd probably still be stuck in that house in some weird arrangement with Sawyl and her, dreaming of being free." He pulled a face that advertised how distasteful the idea was but then smiled again. His gaze became intent as he gripped Ben even tighter and hauled him up against him, leaning down to deliver a kiss that dominated Ben's mouth, all tongue and passion and clarity. The last thing he needed was to think about Ben and Lazarus when there were enough distractions in their lives.
The kiss broke as abruptly as it began and Kerr stared hard into Ben's eyes. "Thank fate or the gods or whothefuckever that you were such a prude back then and you stayed away from that motherfucker. You're too good for all of them and once you're in charge, you'll prove that you're so much more than a mirror. You'll be the fucking sun and they'll orbit you," he growled, the bite he'd delivered his earlier ultimatum with back in his voice now.
As much as it pained him, he couldn't afford to hold Ben back - not even from idiotic political connections that might (he didn't see how) yield some sort of tangible benefit down the line. That was part of being the force of power; making mistakes and living with the consequences. Fuck but he wanted to protect Ben from all that shit, though.
