Back at the Stables...

[w0rmy]

Dee felt terrible, afraid too. Afraid that Julius will really strip his status of squire and throw him back into the grasp of Lord Dubhdara. A horrible shudder surged throughout the boy’s body just thinking about it. It was indeed a horrible thought and with all his heart and soul, that this would never ever happen. Just imagine the look on Dubhdara’s face! The man would without a doubt would be most displayed and probably beat Dee every day (“You brought shame to the family!” he should screech and in his fist would be a stick). Yet another shudder stampeded through out his body. It would just be like the old days, when his mother was still alive. Yes, that long ago.

Dee fell back heavily into the pump pillow and stared blankly at the ceiling. He didn’t want that to happen. He clenched his eyes tightly as another wave surged throughout his forehead. The squire really did regret yelling at his knight… it wasn’t as if he hated the man. Dee didn’t like how the knight was never there, it was like with his father. When he was a child, Dee never saw his father despite living in same household. And when he did see him, it wasn’t very pleasant.

The sudden voice made Dee jump. He had been so deep in his thoughts, he hadn’t heard Julius walk in. “Better.” It was a lie but he found it necessary. There was no desire to look like a drama queen or a spoiled brat.

[ravery]

Raising an eyebrow slightly at the answer he received, Julius stopped in the doorway for a moment to judge whether or not it would be worth trying to talk to Dee again, or if he should just  go find a nurse to tend to the boy\'s wounds. The look on Dee\'s face was... peculiar. Like he fully expected Julius to raise a hand against him or kick him out of the hospital or something, and it left a sharp, bitter taste in his mouth. Fantastic. Look what he\'d gone and done. Dee must undoubtedly think he was some sort of ogre, now.

Waiting for a second more before making a face at himself and shaking his head, Julius straightened his shoulders and headed further into the room, stopping by Dee\'s bedside and pulling up a chair. Despite his own guilt at landing his squire in that situation, there was still a few matters they needed to clear up, and given the fact that Dee wasn\'t going anywhere for a while, he might as well take advantage of it.

“That\'s good to hear,” he began, and inwardly cringed at how cold his voice was. Damn it, he sounded like his mother. Clearing his throat, he rubbed at the back of his neck absently before continuing on, trying to soften his voice a little. “Would you like me to call a nurse?”

[w0rmy]

Dee watched Julius with bleary eyes but otherwise stayed silent. He felt incredibly ashamed for his rash behaviour earlier and wished it hadn’t happened. However, one thing that he did not regret was riding the problem horse, it was his own fault she stumbled. Dee should not have pulled at the reins so much and just let her run, tire her out a bit and then try to control the thing. To be a hundred per cent truthful, he was trying to show off in front of Julius and to show that he was fully capable of receiving a punishment.

Dee pulled some wild strands of hair out of his eyes and tucked them behind his ear and sighed heavily. “No, no thank you, Sir Julius. I’m fine.” The boy shrugged, he didn’t want some random (most likely female) nurse touching his aching body. “Sir…” Dee paused and then swung his legs over the bed’s edge, letting both feet hit the ground firmly. “I’m sorry.” He clumsily fell forward, wrapping his arms around Julius’s neck. “I’m sorry.”  Dee repeated between a short sob. Everything that has happened today, it had been too much. The humiliation had been so very great, it was almost over-bearing. If it had been any more, Dee probably could be in a worse state than he is now. But then again, his current state isn’t too bad, it could be a whole lot worse.

[ravery]

Settling down into his seat, Julius shifted a little, watching the boy with a rather large amount of worry. Dee was entirely too pale for his own peace of mind, and still looked like he was torn between throwing a punch at him or vomiting. Julius watched the boy for a moment as Dee declined his need for a nurse, before sighing softly and resting his elbows against his knees, rubbing at the crooked bridge of his nose out of habit as he tried to gather his thoughts. This situation required more delicacy than he was used to. It couldn\'t just be solved with a quick drink and half-arsed negotiation promise.

Julius bit the inside of his lip out of nervous habit, absently sliding his fingers back up and into his fringe again, brushing it out of his eyes and before tightening the cord in his hair to keep it out of his face. “Are you sure? The doctor said you\'d be alright by tonight, but it might be better if you had a check up first.”
Rubbing at his knuckles absently, he frowned as Dee pushed himself up. The boy shouldn\'t be moving. He still had his bandages on, and there was the risk he might accidentally- Oh.

Blinking in surprise at the arms around his neck, Julius tilted his head, suddenly rather awkward. This was. Well. This was certainly... unexpected. He wasn\'t at all used to being touched in that manner, and especially not by Dee. And especially not after an argument like the one that they\'d had. Then again, he knew the boy was exceptionally tactile, but Julius had never really had much experience with people like that.

Pausing for a moment, Julius then swallowed, brushing off the slight twisting in his stomach in favour of lifting his hands, settling them against the squire\'s back gently. He rested his chin against the boy\'s hair and closed his eyes, doing his best to ignore the fact that his heart felt like it was being squeezed up through his chest and into his throat.  For all the trouble Dee had put him through, he hadn\'t expected that particular reaction from the boy, and the realisation that Dee felt that bad made something in Julius\'s gut just twist. God, the boy was warm.

“It\'s...” he began haltingly, hesitating for a second before tugging the boy closer. “It\'s alright, Dee. Come on, it\'s okay.”

[w0rmy]

Dee grasped his wrist and tightened his grip on Julius, nestling his face into the man’s broad shoulders. Yes, the embrace had been completely unexpected, even to the squire and he couldn’t imagine what Julius might be feeling. Most likely shock. Dee just wanted to hold someone, to feel someone’s warm flesh against his own… even if it had to be Julius. Then again, it wasn’t as if the boy hated Julius, oh no! Sure, he gets annoyed with him but who doesn’t? Everyone gets annoyed at someone at same stage! It’s just natural.

Dee made no moments or said anything in reply to Julius’s calming words. It was almost as if he didn’t hear them… and probably didn’t. Even though his eyes were closed, Dee refused to fall into a deep slumber. He opened his mouth to speak but snapped it shut upon feeling the knight bringing him a tad closer, their bodies against one another. “Sir Julius,” Dee began, “I’m sorry, Sir Julius. I’m sorry about my rash behaviour.” He gripped the other even tighter, “But I suppose it was a form of retaliation. You go out a lot, you know. It reminds me of my father, he was never there for me. He’s never been there for me… you’ve been there for me though, I barely come to you. You’re always out on an expedition or something-ahhh.” An surge of pain had pumped most painfully throughout his head, “ I suppose it’s the reason why I’ve been so reclined to obey. And I don’t like the others, I detest them in fact! They are ridiculous! And tasteless. I cannot stand them…. And once again, I apologise.”

Dee took a deep breath and paused. He wanted to ask a question but what would the answer be? “Are you going to talk to Doctor Galen?” Oh dear Talon! That would be a complete tragedy if that happened! Especially for Doctor Galen… the poor man, Dee thought sadly. Galen was going to get in trouble and it was all his fault.

[ravery]

Stiffening slightly as the Dee pressed his face against Julius\'s doublet, the knight paused for a second before swallowing, sliding his arm up and against the boy\'s thin shoulders. As awkward as he was about this whole touching business, he wasn\'t about to pull away. Not when Dee was in this state. He shifted, trying to get comfortable whilst still keeping a hold on the boy. Dee made no sign that he was listening, and he probably wasn\'t, but that was understandable. It wasn\'t like he\'d made things especially easy for the kid either, and despite the fact that yes, he was still rather angry with Dee for his behaviour, Julius couldn\'t place all of the blame on him.

He twitched absently, biting the inside of his cheek to distract himself from the proximity Dee was placing himself in. At least this seemed to be making the boy feel a little better. Taking a cue from the way Dee was wriggling, he pulled the boy over and into his lap, reaching a hand up into his fair hair and brushing it away from the back of his neck as gently as he could, rather surprised at how soft it was. Dee was mumbling something against his shoulder, and frowning slightly, he tilted his head, pulling back a little to listen.

At the boy\'s words, he blinked, feeling like someone had kicked him in the stomach from the inside. He knew that he\'d been spending far too much time away from home, but damn it, he\'d never even thought that he might make Dee feel like that. Doing his best to ignore the clawing guilt in his gut, Julius exhaled slowly before tilting his head to nudge the boy\'s jaw. “I\'m... I really am sorry that I haven\'t been here as often as I should have,” he said quietly, tightening his hold on him absently. “You were always fairly independent and... I didn\'t think it would\'ve bothered you.”

He stopped for a moment to clear his throat, trying to gather his thoughts together so he didn\'t end up saying something stupid again. He never was very good at stuff like this.

“I\'ll try to be here more often for you, alright? Or. You know, you could come with me.”

Blinking, he raised an eyebrow. Dee seemed... worried about this Doctor Galen.

"And... well, yes, I\'m afraid I\'m going to have to."

[w0rmy]

Dee obediently sat on Julius’s lap, he felt far too tired and emotional to retort. His grip on the man’s shoulders had loosened so he was able to look into the opposing grey eyes. Those eyes, though belonging to an entirely different person, reminded him of Doctor Galen. They were the same almond shape and eye colour… however, Dee gently shook his head to rid the image. He didn’t want to be thinking about Galen right now or rather, anything.  Perhaps now it would be good time to hop back into bed and sleep but, Dee didn’t want to leave the warmth of Julius’ arms.

“You thought I was independent?” Dee repeated, somewhat surprised by the question.  He had never thought of him self that independent… he was only that way because Dee had to be. There was no one he could turn to, Dubhdara was no help. And if he ever asked for help from his father, the only thing he would get was a slap to the face. Yes, Dubhdara was crude like. “I’m only like that because I have to be.”

The next few words had caused a lodge in Dee’s throat. Go, go with Julius’ on trips? He wasn’t sure he was ready such a thing! After al, it was big commitment. The boy bit his lip before slowly answering. “I don’-I don’t know if I am capable of leaving Oberon. Even though father doesn’t like me, he would rather it if I stayed in the city.” Dee shrugged lightly, resting his tired head on Julius’s shoulders.

“Okay, Sir Julius.  I won’t stop you.”

[ravery]

Frowning slightly, Julius raised an eyebrow as Dee looked up at him, tilting his head and brushing the hair away from the boy\'s shoulders absently. He\'d forgotten just how striking Dee\'s eyes were, and he couldn\'t imagine how he\'d managed that. He\'d never seen anything like them in all his travels. Shaking his head to try and clear it, Julius\'s frown deepened.  As pretty as his eyes were, it wouldn\'t do to think like that, and Dee was still clearly shaken up. He hated the fact that he\'d played a part in making the boy feel that way, and he especially hated not knowing what to do to change it.

Settling his hands on the boy\'s shoulders, Julius settled back in his seat, rather glad that Dee was even allowing him that close in the first place despite his own misgivings. The fact that Dee believed he needed to act that way came as a rather disturbing revelation. He\'d never wanted the boy to have to grow up thinking he was completely on his own.

Dee\'s answer to Julius\'s offer of coming along with him on his tours made something in his stomach just sink, but he did his best to keep his disappointment from showing on his face. Of course Dee wanted to stay in Elaria. He was still a child, really, and undoubtedly he had friends here that he wanted to stay with. Nodding his acceptance, Julius shifted in his seat, allowing the boy to rest his forehead against his shoulder. “I understand. And thank you. I appreciate it.”

[w0rmy]

Dee played with Julius’s golden hair, twining the ends with his index finger, enjoying the soft texture. During the years he had been with Julius, this is probably the closet’s he has been with him. He didn’t feel awkward in the situation though might have been if it weren’t for the previous concussion, who knows? Dee shifted a little so it would be more comfortable for the two, he was glad that Julius wasn’t resisting this… or otherwise he wouldn’t know what to feel. He didn’t want to be rejected, especially by someone who he respected.  

“But…” Dee said slowly, looking up into the opposing grey eyes and smiling slightly. He had rethought Julius’ proposal. “Since when do I listen to my father, Sir. I wouldn’t mind, I mean I would like to go but would you be able to handle me? I am, after all, quite the handful. Ask anyone, especially my tutor.” Dee giggled however attempted to muffle the sound between his fingers. “I really don’t like him. He stares at me funny. Get rid of him.” He giggled again and stopped playing with Julius’s strands.

“Am I able to go back now?” Dee asked, hopping of Julius’s lap and swaying a little. “Or do I have to stay the night?” He sat heavily on the bed and stared at the other, waiting for an answer… and hopefully it was a positive one.

[ravery]

Julius blinked at the hands in his hair, rather surprised that Dee\'d actually want to touch him like that. It was rather odd, having someone in his lap who, well, wasn\'t young, attractive and female. Not that Dee wasn\'t young and attractive, of course, but-... oh, wow. Now there was a thought he needed to steer clear of. Inwardly making a face at himself, Julius twitched absently as Dee shifted in his lap before biting the inside of his lip, trying to figure out of it\'d be worth pulling away. Deciding against it, he shook his head slightly, raising his eyebrows as Dee\'s expression softened into a smile. It was strange. Julius couldn\'t decide if the boy looked younger when he smiled, or older.

Snorting softly as Dee giggled, Julius blinked, rather surprised at the fact that the squire had appeared to change his mind. He paused for a moment to try and work out whether or not Dee had been serious. It was always difficult judging something like that when Julius genuinely cared about the person. “... If you\'re sure?” he began, before blinking and letting the boy go as Dee went to push himself up. “I mean, I can always talk to your father, of course, but the decision is entirely up to you, Dee. And now now, I won\'t hear a bad word against your tutor. He\'s a very respectable gentleman.”

He shifted, straightening in his seat as he watched Dee sway, trying to ignore the familiar twist of worry in his chest and relaxing a little when the boy simply sat down on the bed. Meeting Dee\'s stare evenly, he shrugged, rubbing at the back of his neck in the attempt to work out the tension there. “I suppose if you\'re feeling better, we can leave?

[w0rmy]

Dee absentmindedly thumbed the blanket beneath and appeared to be thinking hard. His forehead was creased slightly and he wasn’t particularly looking at anything. Tell his father? Julius talk to his  father? Lord Dubhdara? The very thought brought a dreadful shiver. Dubhdara was not a good a reasonable man and without a doubt, would slam the door in Julius’s face before a word could be spoken. Though, if Dubhdara was in a good enough mood (which Dee doubted) he might listen to Julius… but of course, deny the request straight away.

“I don’t think father will agree.” Dee sighed, kicking his feet slightly and looking quite young for a moment or two. “But it’s a nice thought! I have only been to Ireland and Oberon… well, I can’t remember much of Ireland despite it being my birthplace.” Dee shrugged but soon smiled again he heard Julius make a tut noise. “A respectable gentleman you say? Do respectable gentleman stare up and down your body, like it’s an object?” He raised an eyebrow and giggled again.

Dee stood up, swayed lightly but otherwise, stood completely still. It seemed like the boy could walk back if he got help from  someone or supplied a walking stick. He preferred the fist option because the second made him feel embarrassed. Dee didn’t want to feel like an old man!  “I can go… but I’ll need a bit of help…. I don’t want to fall over. I’m still a bit” He prodded his temple with his finger, “So I’ll need someone to lean on. “

[ravery]

Julius watched as Dee\'s brow furrowed, biting back a grin at the look on the boy\'s face. Regardless of the fact that he\'d never actually met Dee\'s father (which, when he thought about it, was rather bizarre in its own right), he thought it was odd that Dee seemed to dread even the mention of Lord Dubdhara. Stretching absently, Julius settled back into his seat, resting his head against the wall behind him. It couldn\'t possibly hurt to ask, he thought to himself. After all, Dee was his squire, and was therefore under his custody ultimately. Then again, he supposed it was always a good idea to stay courteous.

"Ireland, hm? I haven\'t been back there in many years. I do believe my mother has some family there, though." he said, smiling as Dee kicked his feet against the bed. The smile quickly faded at the mention of the tutor, and sitting up slightly, Julius narrowed his eyes, folding his hands over his knees again. He didn\'t find that in the least bit funny, and the fact that Dee\'d laugh about it was. Worrying.

"I hope you aren\'t being serious, Dee." Julius said as he pushed himself up to stand, offering a hand to the boy as he swayed again. "Because decent tutors are very hard to find these days, and I\'d hate to have to gut him by mistake."

The thought of someone in a position of power just eyeing someone in their custody was enough to make Julius\'s stomach turn. Talon damn it, he had to pay more attention to his staff. Scowling slightly at the thought of yet another perverse old man anywhere near Dee, he reached over, taking the boy by the arm gently and keeping him upright. "Well, you can lean on me, you know. I may be a little..." he said, pointing at one of his own temples before smiling, forcing himself to ignore the familiar twist of anger in his chest. "Myself, but the last time I checked, I could walk just fine. Shall we go?"

[w0rmy]

“You have relatives in Ireland?” Dee repeated, surprised by the new fact. He had no idea that Julius had Irish blood and so Dee decided in conclusion, they would have a better connection. Yes, the boy was being biased but tat fact hardly seem to matter. Both of Dee’s parents came from Ireland, even the same town. Even though they were married, it was a loveless marriage. Dubhdara was not capable of love (or at least, Dee assumed so) and Caireach, she was mad. However, there were some moments between her and Dee which he would cherish for the rest of his life. For example, the apple picking in the fields on that old farmer’s land… that farmer, he loved Caireach and Dee suspected she felt the same. A small sigh left his lips, it wasn’t the time to feel nostalgic… and especially over such trivial memories.

“I’m glad to hear you have family there. My family, the Pencawrs, are famous there… but probably not for the right reasons. If you know what I mean.” Dee raised his eyebrows knowingly but otherwise said nothing more about the subject. The boy doubted that Julius understood his hint, it was quite hard to considering he said nothing else. What Dee was suggesting that in the past, his family committed  lot of bad deeds. Oh for example, slaughter in front of the priests! However, that was quite a long time ago but people still remember.

“I’m being a hundred percent serious, Sir.” Dee leant forward and whispered into Julius’s ear “He’s a disgusting little man that hobbles around all day, talking nonsense that I already know. He talks about the suns and stars as if there is nothing else. He forgets politics and law, religion too.” He grinned from ear to ear and not at all worried.

Dee laughed a little when he saw Julius mirror the gesture. He must’ve caused the man some stress today and he felt ashamed. “I must have worried you today.” Dee said quietly, leaning on the knight’s shoulder.

[ravery]

Julius was rather surprised at the fact that Dee would find that particular information so interesting. Of course, he had never really met many of his mother\'s family- apart from maybe his grandfather, but the man was long dead by now, Talon bless his soul. Raising an eyebrow, the knight grinned slightly, watching as the boy appeared to wander off on a private train of thought. Obviously the thought of Ireland was bringing memories back.

Straightening a little and brushing off his doublet, Julius blinked as Dee raised his own eyebrows, rather curious as to exactly what the squire was hinting at. He\'d never really given much thought to the rest of the boy\'s family, and the suggestion that there might be something scandalous in Dee\'s past was... well, okay, to be honest, that didn\'t come as quite the surprise he thought it might, but it still took him aback a little. “Oh, are they now?” he asked, keeping his voice as neutral as possible. Whilst the boy seemed to be fine talking about his family, Julius never could be too careful. Even if he was terribly curious.

“I suppose I should do some research into your family tree, then,” Julius continued with a smile, before tilting his head a little as the boy leant up to whisper in his ear. His eyes narrowed as he heard the description of the tutor he\'d left in charge of the squire. If there was something Julius had absolute no tolerance for, it was lecherous old fools.

Of course, that meant he had no tolerance for half the country side. But that was completely beside the point.

Shifting a little to nudge the squire forward gently, Julius forced another smile, ignoring the cold, heavy feeling beginning to settle in his stomach. “Well, that certainly is a big percentage,” he said wryly, keeping a hold on Dee\'s arm. “And... well, yes, you did. But then again, I suppose I was asking for it.”

[w0rmy]

Look up his family tree? Dee thought the idea wasn’t a terribly good one. He could just imagine Julius’s reaction when he found out this his mother was a pyromaniac. There were not many people who were aware of his mother’s insanity. The only people that knew were her family, including the Pencawrs. It wasn’t as if they wanted to parade the girl’s insanity about, who did? What is there to be proud of? There was nothing to be proud of.

“Mmm, yes. Quite.” Dee smiled mysteriously, his odd eyes twinkling. “You might have a little trouble researching, Sir. It’s one of things you have to, you have to get out of people. It’s not one of those things you can easily find in documents. It’s a lot harder than that.” Dee wondered if Julius was now going to attempt to talk to Dubhdara or even himself! He wouldn’t be surprised. He wouldn’t hesitate to answer however, Dee completely trusted Julius.

Dee gave Julius’s shoulder a little squeeze and walked forward. His movements were slow but steady, he was glad to have Julius by his side. “It’s my fault too.” Dee stated fairly upon hearing his knight saying speak. “That mare… I should have just let her run! I kept trying to make her respond to my movements but you see, that was my folly.” Dee shrugged lightly, trying to make as if he wasn’t bothered by the experience. “I should have just let her run…”