Roleplay City
Infusco => DOMICILES => INFUSCO: Enter The Shadows => Mei Jia Apartments => Topic started by: Trillian on January 15, 2013, 09:30:29 AM
-
Ben burbled his car (http://static.cargurus.com/images/site/2008/06/05/09/13/1967_chevrolet_impala-pic-41177.jpeg)into a parking space provided for visitors. He'd not ventured often into Chinatown in his past, he realised now. Just a couple of tourist stops to watch a Chinese New Year festival, when he'd been a little kid - the dragon costume had scared him senseless, and the popping fireworks hadn't helped much in a location that he wasn't familiar with. Perhaps it had been due to his accidently being separated from his parents that night, in a crowd full of people who were laughing and jeering and shouting. At first he'd been filled with wonder, and then it had taken on a sinister tone, when he couldn't find his mother's hand. The second visit was a lot better, for he was a lot older and had gone to the Good Night markets. He wasn't much of a markets goer, but it had been interesting to immerse himself into a culture that was from the other side of the world. He'd prefer to visit actual China than Chinatown, however. It would likely not reflect this peculiar bustle. He'd be coming here more often now, since Murphy's new home was here, providing all went well.
He'd burned his bridge with Ichabod quite completely. He still felt justified over his actions, for Ichabod had rubbished Ben's ability to judge an appropriate honour to their sire. Their path had been fraught with complications, so it was not to be. Ben wasn't a big believer in signs from the Universe, but he did understand when two people simply couldn't connect. They were opposites, despite their similarities. Ben had even had a change of heart for a while there, focussing on all of Ichabod's good points. Even that hadn't worked because it had come too late. He needed all the friends he could gather now. Murphy, and the newly acquired Vincent. Fuck, even Vomas, Jake and Conner were prospects for friendship, because at least he had some connection to them.
He switched off the engine and got out of the Impala, locking it with the key because it was too old to have a remote system. He'd always imagined his second car might be one like this, old like his first but in better condition. He doubted Murphy would notice, he wasn't much of a car guy, but really neither was Ben beyond his love for the classic looks. As he walked away from his car, he gave a quick look around at the numbers of the apartments and found number five easily - Murphy's place. He'd been sent a text when his friend had moved here. Their whole friendship had been resorted to texting while Ben got over his guilt at considering Murphy for a sexual partner, with Kerr but a few nights dead. It had been a fleeting notion, with their tumbling around on a bed, and Ben unable to truly get into the mood. With a great deal of self-analysis afterward, he'd decided that his body reflected what was in his heart while his mind was trying to forget. Kerr had very recently died and he was allowed to be confused about it. He was allowed to make bad choices after it.
Enough time had passed that their texts had even managed to move past the awkward informing stage to a joking stage. Ben was pleased that he'd made the extra effort to keep in contact with Murphy - texting him several times a day. Losing him would be terribly difficult, especially after all that had happened recently. He didn't even know if he wanted to tell his friend the details about the will and his falling out with Ichabod, but he figured it would probably come blurting out of his mouth anyway. It was on his mind, because it had only happened last night. Seeking out his friend with a text, he'd asked if he could come over and see the new place. Murphy had invited him around and now here he was.
It was early in the night. Ben had driven straight here after waking, grooming and dressing. He'd switched to showering at the end of the night, sloughing off the city's smells and whatever else stuck to him during his activities. He wore (http://denisesalceda.com/wp-content/uploads/2011/10/mens-fashion-casual.jpg) a steel grey coloured button up sweater (he didn't have it in him to call it a cardigan) over a checked shirt and darkish blue jeans, plus his newish green chucks (http://www.converse.com/media/product/130119F/standard/130119F_l.png?01AD=3MGZuBvpJ2mm05nyCUP_Erq7pL7IeDlkv8T17tXbA8nX14AX6Ba2i_A&01RI=69DE2A00EF51BE2&01NA=) on his feet. He might have to field a joking comment or two from Murphy about them, but that was okay. He was even looking forward to it.
When he approached Murphy's apartment, he saw that his car was parked in front of the garage. Either he had two cars or his garage was full of stuff. Probably the latter, since he'd moved out of a house and into an apartment. He'd have to offer to help Murphy go through it, because the mortal had done that for him. He went to the door and knocked a few times, feeling a little bit anxious about what he would find.
-
Murphy had been expecting Ben, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t surprised when the knock came at the door. His hands were full of various items which should have made their way to the kitchen sink a while ago but somehow had remained lying around the apartment.
“One sec,” Murphy called out, knowing it had to be Ben. The only other people he’d bothered to tell he’d moved was his work and it was unlikely any of them would come around paying visits. They just had to know where to send the pay cheque – when there was one.
The human dumped the plates into the sink in an untidy pile (and a louder clatter than he’d anticipated) before heading to the door, wiping his hands on his jeans as he went, although they didn’t really need it. It felt like an age since he’d seen Ben and unwelcome butterflies fluttered in the pit of his stomach in anticipation of seeing the vampire. Last time they’d seen each other Ben had been chucking him out of the beach house and sending him back to that big empty house, leaving both of them to face whatever the consequences on their actions and losses were alone. Yes, there had been texts. And they had become easier to write as time had gone on, but that didn’t rid Murphy of the nervousness he felt. He’d followed Ben’s lead with those, looking forward to hearing from a friend but too wary to take things further than he knew Ben would be comfortable with.
The deadbolt slid back easily enough after a quick check through the peep hole and Murphy pulled open the door with a warm looking smile which was well practised over the years. Even when he felt like shit Murphy could put a smile on his face which was bright enough to convince most people it was genuine. He didn’t know if Ben would recognise the difference though.
“Hey, Ben, come on in,” he said, stepping back to let him in and then shutting the door again behind him, not bothering with the extra lock this time. “It’s good t’see you,” he added, taking a half step forwards and his arms twitching as he almost went for a hug but then stopped himself. After what had almost happened he didn’t know if that would be welcome now.
“So this is it,” Murphy said, tearing his eyes away from Ben’s silvery gaze to turn to the apartment with a gesture of his arm. “It’s not huge, but I didn’t need so much space, y’know?” he added, dropping his hand to fiddle with the hem of his dark green t-shirt. He wore a pair of battered slippers which were half falling apart on his feet and no socks. He looked around the room himself, as he waited for Ben to speak, wishing he’d done a little more to tidy up.
The coffee table was still covered in books and papers and his laptop lay half shut on the sofa. At least the dirty dishes were gone, banished to the kitchen. But even that was visible as the kitchen made up part of the living area and the pile would be easy to spot, especially if Ben had heard the sound of him dumping it in there before coming to the door. Murphy had crammed the small apartment with things which reminded him of home, but it didn't feel like home. Not yet. He was hoping it would eventually.
-
When Ben stepped into the apartment, he didn't miss that peculiar not-hug come his way. He turned his body ever so slightly to better receive it, but Murphy's hands did little more than twitch so Ben hadn't even reacted at all. There was a weird, awkward moment as Ben looked down at Murphy's feet, which had to shuffle slightly because of the movement forward to him that hadn't followed through. There was shame too, in looking down.
I caused this
Yes, more blame to throw onto Blame Mountain, which was growing steadily into quite a peak. Blame Mountain, with parking available at Guilt Summit, and then the Regretful Lookout. Fucking hell, he really had to drop this metaphor. Too bad the visual was so strong it refused to leave.
Ben's gaze followed Murphy's gesture and he nodded in order to indicate he did know. He knew all too well. He was thinking about moving away from Kerr's beach house, of putting it on the market to sell, of finding a new location. Either South or City, considering the district layouts. He liked Vomas but was intimidated by him, he didn't mind Jake but he thought the other didn't like him. The kiss seemed like such a stupid thing to get jealous over, now. Hindsight.
He moved into the kitchen - probably the last place Murphy wanted him to go - and was looking at the dishes in the sink.
"Let me help you clean these up," he looked at the expression on Murphy's face and talked over him while shaking his head. "I like cleaning," he insisted. "It calms me down, and helps me think, and right now I'm feeling a bit..."
anxious
misplaced
lonely
needy
"...nervous." He gave Murphy an easy grin, and whether or not his friend's smile had been genuine or not (Ben hadn't been able to tell, either way), his own smile certainly was. He felt relieved already, just being here, though he felt a bit tense and weird. Doing something as silly and mundane as doing the dishes would at least give them something to focus on while they talked. "I wash, you dry?" he offered, because the one who dried usually put things away and he didn't want to be constantly told where things went.
-
“Oh, uh,” Murphy began, wanting to protest against Ben going into the kitchen and especially against him cleaning up. But he knew how spotless Ben’s home usually and if Ben thought it would help then why argue? Ben’s admission that he was feeling nervous too helped a little, at least Murphy wasn’t the only one feeling this.
“Ok, sure,” Murphy said, slipping a clean tea towel from its hook and reaching out the nudge a bottle of washing up liquid closer to Ben as the vampire began to fill the bowl. “I guess I kinda let things mount up a bit. Sorry,” he said, running the cloth between his fingers as he waited for the clean dishes to come his way. He wasn’t sure why he was apologising – whether it was for letting things get in this state, for not cleaning up properly before having a guest around, for making Ben feel like he had to clean or just for his general awkwardness which he assumed was not helping Ben’s nerves.
It wasn’t just that it felt odd seeing Ben after so long – all of this was embarrassing, letting Ben see how bad things had got. Murphy didn’t like sharing that side of things, but Ben was the best person he could show it too. And there was more he hadn’t even told Ben about. How could you do that by text?
He’d had a house, well, he’d thought he had. Now he was renting an apartment, a small one. His father’s debt had hit him hard. And he’d fallen sharply down his career ladder and didn’t want Ben feeling responsible for that – of course he would though, this was Ben.
So Murphy did what he did best when there was something he didn’t want to talk about and tried to force his mind off of his own problems.
“So how you been doing? Been up to much? Things getting sorted out?” he asked, glancing sideways at the blonde.
-
Ben didn't say anything directly in response to Murphy's apology, because he also felt like it was unnecessary. At least he was allowed to help clean up, and the pair of them could do something together. He was also hoping that afterward, with the house looking tidier, Murphy might feel good about letting him help. There was still a need to acknowledge the words, though.
"You helped me at the beach house," he said, but lapsed into silence after it. He'd made a little pile of dishes beside the sink and finished filling it up. Funny how the memory of washing up was so clear even though he hadn't done dishes in years. He wondered if it would feel like a weird task after twenty years. Or fifty. Or a hundred. Robots might be doing dishes by then. Or there wouldn't be any dishes at all.
Murphy's questions sliced through the rubbish that was circulating his mind, and he shook his head. No, things were not getting sorted out.
"I burned Ichabod once and for all," he said, sounding a lot more detached than he felt about it. There was more news, but he had to start from the beginning. Telling Murphy about Ichabod was like starting at the finish line. "I doubt we'll even bother trying to be nice anymore," he said, unable to stop talking about it because it was the most pressing thing. "What about you?"
Ben's life had gone to shit since the article, and since the article had been written by Murphy, he wanted to know if anything bad had happened to Murphy too. Since the Districts had been organised, they might've overlooked any punishment he might've faced from the now-retired Oligarchy. Who was in charge of Chinatown? Jake? Did Murphy even know?
-
Murphy frowned at Ben shaking his head. With their texts they hadn’t gone into the more serious side of what had been happening in their lives, and obviously they’d both needed more support than they’d had.
“What happened?” he asked, speaking at the same time as Ben turned the question on him and Murphy glanced down, giving a small shrug.
“The paper won’t take any of my articles or ideas any more. I’m now working in the glamourous section of the personals and ads. It… it sucks,” he said hesitantly. He didn’t want to tell Ben about that especially, but he had to tell someone and he didn’t want to keep it secret from Ben. What was the point in having friends you hid things like that from?
“They didn’t just fire me outright at least. It could’ve been worse.” The pay was much worse, but at least he had a bit of money coming in whilst he tried to find something else. With the Sacramentum having ties all over the city Murphy didn’t know if he’d be able to get a better job here, but he wanted to try properly before giving up.
-
Murphy's story made Ben feel small and worthless. He'd talked Murphy into writing and submitting the article about the demons, because they'd originally been talking about investigating ghosts since Ben's bizarre interaction at the masquerade party. Fuck, the masquerade party, it felt like years ago but it was almost the thing that had started it all. The party, running off to Europe, looking for material to write about, the article, meeting Themba, the disintegration of the Oligarchy, Kerr's death, and now the ruin of Murphy's career.
I'm poison
I'm fucking poison
I kill or burn everything around me
And how had they ended up? Ben now had billions of dollars in assets and cash. And what did Murphy have to show for it? A demotion and the prospect of never getting good work in this city again. For fuck's sake, how was that fair?
"I am so sorry," he said, and though the words felt inadequate, they were sincere. He was devastated. He couldn't even offer Murphy money to help, because he knew his friend was much like he'd been when living on his own; proud and wanting to solve his own problems. Now he understood why Kerr was so frustrated when nobody took his money. Because he'd had such a stupidly ridiculous amount of it, and people had been suffering all around him. It was only money, right?
So why'd he cut Ichabod off from it?
The thought came at him from left field, and he slammed it shut into a deep, dark part of his brain. It had no business coming out into the light, not when he had Murphy in front of him. The awkwardness of being fresh around his friend after all this time was gone - at least for Ben - and he put down the cloth he'd been holding to wash the dishes with, tossing it towards the sink and stepping forward purposefully to wrap his arms around his friend. They'd ached to hold him, and he was unable to stop himself after hearing that Murphy's future and dreams had been stomped on. There were always other options of course, other avenues for his writing, or other city papers to write for, but he'd been onto a good thing before Ben had come along.
He squeezed his friend as tightly as he dared, not wanting to add a fractured rib to Murphy's lot.
-
Murphy shook his head slightly at Ben’s apology, but didn’t resist as Ben moved to hug him. His tea towel was still clutched in his hand as he wrapped his arms around the vampire in return, dropping his head to rest on Ben’s shoulder and squeezing him tightly – he didn’t need to worry about hurting his friend so didn’t hold back.
He’d missed Ben so much as everything crashed down around him and the reason they’d stopped seeing each other had been so stupid. Murphy knew he should have stopped it before it got to that point but he’d fucked up royally and got carried away.
“It’s not your fault. I’d probably had written something to mess things up eventually. And they’ll forget about it in time,” Murphy said, his voice muffled as he spoke against Ben’s shoulder.
But no, they wouldn’t forget. Charon had made that obvious from their discussions – the Sacramentum didn’t forget and they wouldn’t forgive. He wouldn’t get his proper job back at this paper, but it wasn’t just that. They’d discussed siring – not that they would sire him, nothing so solid, but if things had carried gone on well, maybe when Murphy decided he wanted to become a vampire they would have been there. Now that option was gone completely.
He couldn’t tell Ben that though – he might think Murphy was asking to be sired by him, or that he wanted to do it now. Murphy wasn’t ready for that, but one day he thought he would be. It was just an option for now and you didn’t get fed from by vampires or be best friends with one without considering it. Kerr had sired Ichabod to help get over the loss of his family though, Ben had told Murphy that. Kerr had been older than Ben was now and obviously he’d sired Ben previously, but maybe it wouldn’t be such a bad thing to mention. Maybe being connected to someone would help. Murphy wasn’t about to launch into that though – last time he’d tried to help Ben feel connected to someone they’d stopped talking for far too long.
Murphy pulled back after a few seconds, lifting his hand to squeeze Ben’s shoulder whilst his other stayed on Ben’s waist. His eyes were red but he was trying desperately hard not to let Ben see how upset he was about all of this or what he’d been thinking about telling Ben. Murphy kept telling himself this could be worse and it was true. Sometimes it was just more difficult to see it than others.
“Tell me what happened with Ichabod,” Murphy instructed, taking in a deep breath to steady himself and ready to listen to Ben’s problems as well. If he talked about himself more he’d just get more upset.
-
He was grateful to have been accepted, and melted into the embrace. When Murphy pulled back and made his request, Ben nodded, but returned to the dishes. Yes, his situation now was better than Murphy's, but he'd lost his sire for it, so he hadn't come out better off like he'd just now thought. He'd give all that money back and more, if it would return Kerr to him. He picked up the cloth and started cleaning a plate with it in water so hot it was scalding his hands. The pain was absurdly good, and he started to get used to it, even though it was making his hands go pink. He wouldn't burn or blister, his skin was healing even before he plunged them back in. He started talking after handing the freshly cleaned plate over for Murphy to dry.
"Kerr's lawyers left a bunch of messages for me and I finally got in touch with them. They said there was a will Kerr left behind, so I got Ichabod and we both went to the offices. Kerr left me everything. Ichabod got nothing but the apartment at the Capital, but one of the lawyers said there were talks to leave Ichabod some money. He'd not got around to re-doing the will though, so I... got everything. Billions of dollars of property and investments."
He felt stupid just saying that word. Billions. It felt like a made-up word, like mega-gazillion.
-
Murphy dried up slowly, paying more attention to Ben than the plate in his hands. He wanted to tell Ben the water was too hot (it was still steaming slightly) but he knew Ben was sensible enough to have it just how he wanted it. It wasn’t like he’d stay injured if he got burnt.
Billions of dollars? Ben had billions of dollars? Murphy had known Kerr was rich, but fucking hell. Billions? And all Murphy had got when he went to one of those meeting was a bucket load of debt.
“Wow… that’s amazing,” Murphy said sincerely, turning towards Ben a little more. “So what happened? Ichabod got jealous? Can’t you just give him a share?” he asked. He knew Ben and Ichabod hadn’t exactly parted on good terms so maybe it wasn’t a great suggestion – but they were brothers. Surely if Ichabod was getting upset about it and it was such a stupidly huge amount of money then it wouldn’t hurt to just give him a bit. He guessed Ben would have a good reason if he hadn’t already done that though.
“Did something else happen?” he added gently.
-
"Yes." He paused for a long moment before continuing, handing Murphy another plate, then a bowl. He was washing cutlery when next he spoke again. "There was cash. Forty million of it, and I said just to split it down the middle. There were properties too, but I didn't want to hand them over without seeing them. I'd seen two of them, but... " he shook his head, not going down that path because it wasn't important in the grand scheme of things. "Anyway, I was planning on giving him another of the properties, of giving some of the companies and stuff. To share the private jet."
Fuck, was this even real? It felt bizarre. So far none of it had made any impact on his life. He was still just hanging around in Kerr's beach house figuring stuff out.
"But then I remembered my project for Kerr. Instead of putting up some stupid headstone in a cemetary, or nothing at all, I wanted to give him something meaningful. I... I was having a talk with, uh, one of the ex-Oligarchy guys," he said, thinking that Murphy probably didn't know Conner. "And we talked about setting up an academy of knowledge for supernaturals. A way to continue your training if you've lost your sire as a fledgling, among other things," he said, connecting the dots a lot more clearly for Murphy than he had for Ichabod. "I'd figured I was probably going to come into some money, since the lawyers were already leaving me messages, so I promised I'd put up an investment." He handed over some of the cutlery and then leant with his hip against the kitchen bench as he looked at Murphy. "Ichabod went from almost broke to having twenty millions dollars in two minutes, and then he shit all over my idea, and didn't want to put in five of that along with me. It's not I was asking him to go broke again, he would've had fifteen million. But he said to me... he said," Ben was visibly upset, "that Kerr wouldn't have cared for it. I told him it was about reclaiming a connection, with him, with us, because aside from Kerr, wanting to learn is the only fucking thing we have in common."
Now for the worst of it, and he pressed his lips together tightly before spilling it out in one breath.
"I was already angry and upset, so I told him Kerr left him with nothing, so that must've been what he felt for him, and I reminded him it was my idea for Kerr to sire him, so he reminded me it was my fault Kerr was dead."
It was the clearest part of the conversation at the lawyers, because they'd ended on it.
-
Murphy smiled softly as Ben talked about setting up an academy to help fledglings who needed it as well as teaching about other supernatural things. Murphy was almost jealous for a moment that it sounded like a place only for supernaturals, no humans allowed. But he doubted Ben would shut him out completely and he thought it was a brilliant idea. And the kind of place which would really need donations to keep it going.
His smile disappeared as Ben went on to describe Ichabod’s reaction. It was surprising – although Murphy didn’t know Ichabod well he thought Ben’s brother would have been pretty enthusiastic about something like this as well. He was still studying, he’d just lost his sire so would need help training, and it would be a memorial to Kerr. He’s have so much money, so what was the issue with giving some of it to a great cause?
Murphy lowered the forks in his hand to rest on the counter at the sound of upset in Ben’s voice and the look on his face.
“He fucking said that?” Murphy said, his eyes widening in shock. Damn, how could Ichabod point the finger like that. It was heartless, even if Ben had said something cutting beforehand. That was all bullshit and it was words they flung back and forth at each other whenever they got angry.
“That’s shit, it’s not your fault, Ben,” Murphy said, abandoning his towel and wrapping his arms around Ben in another tight hug. “Things happen, accidents and… all sorts. Anything could have happened to Kerr at any time.” He pulled back, keeping his arms around Ben but wanting to be able to look at his face to see how he was reacting. “If you keep thinking it’s your fault it’ll never get better. He went there to try to help the demons, but whatever happened, you didn’t cause it.”
-
Ben quickly clung to his friend, grateful that they were at ease with each other enough already to be giving and taking comfort from one another. He clung to Murphy, accepting and melting into the embrace, and before they parted, he pressed his lips gently on the mortal's neck, to feel his pulse, to draw his warmth, to reconnect.
"I missed you," he said, speaking into Murphy's neck now, before pulling away so he could say the rest to his friend's face. "I need you in my life. I want to do something for you, too. Not because a lot's gone bad for you,"
that I feel is all my fault because I influeced you into writing that article
"but because we're friends."
He didn't have the heart to offer money, knowing such a thing would injure Murphy's pride. He'd never had a problem taking Kerr's money, because he'd had his own, but Kerr had told him Alternative Ben had issues with it. It was weird, being a victim of demonic amnesia and to have heard about caring about things that didn't seem important to him now.
He was still holding him at his waist, watched Murphy's face to see what expressions would flit across it.
-
Murphy found himself holding his breath as Ben's lips pressed against his throat. God, how long had it been since he'd been drunk from? Too long. Not since Ben at the Beach House. He let him eyes slide shut for a few seconds until he felt Ben pulling back when his hazel eyes opened to meet Ben's silver gaze. Murphy had missed Ben too. If only they had done this ages ago, they could have got past this awkwardness and forgotten all of that so much faster.
A frown flickered across his face as Ben said he wanted to do something for him, not quite sure what the blonde meant and not really wanting to be reminded of everything which had gone wrong. Ben stating that whatever he wanted to do wasn't because of that, only made Murphy think it was. He really had no idea what Ben had in mind - whatever it was would probably be far too much. The things Murphy wanted weren't that big, or they were things Ben couldn't give, like getting his old job back. Murphy gave a soft smile, squeezing Ben's arms. It was lovely to be told you were needed and made Murphy's heart swell, feeling content for the first time in a while. Although sometimes shit happened, he wasn't alone and neither was Ben.
"You've done my washing up, I don't need you to do anything else for me. Just... Don't stay away so long again," he said, giving a small shrug, hoping to dissuade Ben from trying to do things for him he really didn't need.
-
"I can get you extra work," he offered, not liking his offer being dismissed but understanding why. He held Murphy's hand, his own was still warm from the water but he could still feel the warmth from Murphy's hand above and beyond it. "If you want it. Just typing stuff, probably."
He figured Murphy's paycheck wasn't going to be so great now that he'd been relegated to the personals section. He doubted there'd be opportunities for overtime either, and he knew that the Academy idea would need a lot of typing up of ideas, courses, and whatever else. Ben figured he'd help out too, because the money he was giving over was likely going to go towards setting up and getting some of the rooms lecture hall ready, and also to keep a cushion of cash flow because initially the Academy wouldn't support itself with its fees. The whole point of it was to help fledges or people who had nowhere else to get their information the knowledge to help themselves. They might not have any money. Ichabod and Ben wouldn't have, if Kerr hadn't thought to make a will and have it officially handed over to his control. Ben wouldn't have been able to get to any of it.
-
Murphy glanced down as Ben’s hand slid comfortably into his own, but he quickly lifted his eyes again to watch the vampire as the offer was made.
“Typing stuff? Like… what? At the Academy? Or…” Or what? With the new Districts which had been set up? With Ben’s ex-Oligarchy chum? Yeah, like they would want Murphy, a human who probably knew too much and had helped destroy the Oligarchy. Murphy shook his head slightly, trying to rid himself of those thoughts before giving Ben a smile.
“Whatever, yes, extra work would be great, I don’t care what kind. My dad spent a Hell of a lot more than I realised, no wonder he was drunk all the time. He was hiding from it all,” Murphy said in a much cheerier tone than the topic deserved. He hadn’t meant to tell Ben about his sudden debt, but suddenly it was out there and he couldn’t stop himself from saying it.
“Come on, let’s sit down and you can tell me more about this Academy you’re setting up. Let me know if there’s anything I can do to help, I can do more than type,” Murphy said with a smile, pulling gently on Ben’s hand to try to urge him towards the living area and the sofa there.
-
Ben nodded when Murphy guessed where the work was. He could see the concern on Murphy's face, the doubt that passed by before he hid it with a little smile. He was pleased his offer hadn't been met with resistance, though hearing about the debt surprised him.
Ben followed Murphy to the sofa and sat with him, the pair of them still holding hands. He leant into the cushion, his shoulder also to it because he was twisted around in order to look at Murphy still.
"First you have to tell me about this debt. Who's it with? A bank or some freak with goons?" he asked, not liking the idea of Murphy's father owing gambling debts or something to a bookie. A bank was better, because it meant Murphy was at least safe from losing his kneecaps. Did people even get capped anymore?
-
Murphy shook his head slightly, angling his body towards Ben, his shoulder resting against the back of the sofa.
“No, no goons. Unless they’re biding their time and waiting to pop up and surprise me. No, it’s just banks with their letters. My dad was mortgaged up to his ass, I’m surprised they hadn’t taken the house back years ago. But he kept them off somehow, obviously I’m not as skilled at ignoring them as he was,” Murphy explained, twisting his lips up a little.
“Selling the house, or what of it I did own, didn’t cover all the interest, but y’know, I’ve been to see the bank and stuff and I think they’re pretty glad they’ve got me to deal with now instead of him. Payments are getting worked out and I can afford this place, so… it could be worse.” As usual, it could always be worse.
-
"Murphy," he said, surprised that his friend hadn't mentioned this immediately when Ben had asked if he could do something for him. He really shouldn't be surprised, but it was still something that Ben could help him with. "At least let me pay the debt for you. No!" he said, his free hand reaching up and pressing against Murphy's lips, so that he couldn't protest, even before he got a word out - Ben had assumed there would be a protest, there didn't actually need to be one. "It's not like you got yourself into this mess, you inherited it. Let my inheritence cancel out your inheritence, okay? If our positions were swapped, I'd like to think you'd do the same for me," he lectured, and lowered his hand to Murphy's chest, toying with the mortal's shirt and feeling his friend's heartbeat beneath his fingers. "I'm not giving you money, really."
He was, but they didn't have to look at it that way.
-
As Ben expected Murphy opened his mouth to protest but Ben’s cool fingers pressing against his lips cut him short. He hadn’t meant to ask like that, but looking back on how the conversation had gone he supposed it might look that way and his cheeks flushed at that thought, his heart pounding under Ben’s touch. He should have just kept his big mouth shut.
But it would help. It would help so much. He could focus more on writing what he wanted than making sure he wrote enough crap to get paid enough to struggle through. But where had his pride gone? Why ask? He had lost most of it when he accepted his demotion instead of quitting outright.
Murphy hesitated for a moment before leaning forwards to brush a gentle kiss against Ben’s lips as long as the vampire let him, but not letting it linger.
“Thank you, Ben,” he murmured shyly, wishing he could argue against it, but it would just be idiotic. Ben did have a stupid amount of money, as bad as the debt was to Murphy it would make the tiniest dent in Ben’s millions.
-
When Murphy pulled away from the kiss, Ben's lips were upturned in a smile. It was good to feel free around Murphy again, that kisses and touches like that weren't awkward. He'd worried that they would be, but was massively relieved they were not. He'd never had a close platonic relationship with anyone like this before, and he valued it dearly. The small touches, the hand holding, the little kisses. Many a time he'd seen girls behave this way with their friends, and he'd envied them. It wasn't until Murphy had become his friend that he'd discovered he could have it too. It wasn't until his self-inflicted split with Murphy that he realised how much he needed him.
"You're welcome, Murph," he said, and felt a great deal more lighthearted. "The Academy," he said, slapping his knee lightly with his hand to be an ending of one conversation and the start of another. "It's going to be a place of supernatural education. Learning about all the different powers, or maybe even tapping into them, if you're a supernatural," he mused, remembering what Conner had said. It hadn't been the vein he'd been thinking, but it was a good idea nonetheless. "And for mortals, too, I think. How to protect yourself. That should be setup, too," he said.
-
Murphy grinned in relief as Ben finally turned the conversation away from the human’s problems to talk about much more hopeful things. He leant sideways against the back of the couch, letting his fingers play gently with Ben’s as he listened to the vampire enthuse about his idea.
His smile widened slightly as Ben mentioned humans being involved as well – that Murphy could definitely get enthusiastic about. He wanted to help out, but didn’t really see how he could other than general admin. He was organised (although the state of his apartment currently was not a great advert for that) and a very hard worker. But if Ben let him then he’d be happy to do as much as he could, and not just for the pay.
He wasn’t sure how humans would really be able to protect themselves in real trouble, so information on that would definitely be good. Especially now the Oligarchy was gone and Murphy had no idea how well the district leaders were doing at keeping things in control.
“I bet a lot of people would leap at the chance. Human or supernatural. Is… do you think humans needing protection might be more important with all the changes that have happened? Do you know much about the districts and stuff?” Murphy asked. “I want to hear more about your Acadmey, of course, you know I do, but… what do you think? It would be sensible anyway, because there’ll always be the odd ones… but you were here when it all went to shit before. That’s not going to happen again, is it?” he asked.
-
Ben considered it. He'd thought everything was pretty much the same still, even with the Districts still getting up there.
"I haven't read anything weird in the papers," he said, casting a sideways smile in Murphy's direction before it slipped a little as he thought his friend's words over. "Everybody seems to be doing what they were always doing," he said. "I don't know, I'm the last person to ask, I've mostly been a hermit. Except I found a guy to train me, he... uh, he'd lost his sire and we initially talked about that," Ben explained, failing to deliver the exact nature of their meeting, considering he'd tried to bury himself in a shallow grave. "Then he offered to train me. Pity, I guess. I didn't care, I took it. I have to call him though, set up the next session," he said, and pressed his lips together because there was a lot more he wasn't saying there either. He'd run off on Vincent and Owen, pissed off when they accused him of keeping secret the fact he was the ex-Luminary's fledge. He had to deal with that, because otherwise he was going to lose his training.
-
As much as he enjoyed talking to Ben, Murphy did wish he had someone more experienced to talk to, someone who knew more about what was going on. Maybe someone like Charon. But that chance, however small it had been, was gone. Murphy couldn’t ask him anything more. But there was little point in getting upset about that, he would simply need to find out more elsewhere – and even the information at the paper was limited for him now.
Murphy watched Ben steadily for a few seconds as Be explained about his new trainer. It was good to hear Ben had someone to help him, Murphy knew well enough that fledglings needed someone with a lot of practise and experience to train them (which was one of the many reasons he hadn’t asked Ben to consider siring him) but Ben definitely didn’t seem overly happy about it all. Ben was vulnerable at the moment, someone approaching him who had also lost their sire (which probably wasn’t all that rare really) and offering to help him just seemed like more than chance. Hopefully this guy wasn’t trying to take advantage of Ben.
“Did something happen with him? You… you don’t seem so keen on the idea, and I know you love training,” Murphy said with a concerned frown, squeezing Ben’s hand gently.
-
"Oh, I dunno. Eating humble pie is about as tasty to vampires as it is to humans, I guess," he joked, letting Murphy know that he was mostly upset about having to go back with an apology on his lips. Saying sorry wasn't something Ben was looking forward to. "Vincent's fledge is pretty full on. Really intense. But it's train with him or nothing, you know?"
Murphy was smart enough to understand that Ben was coming between a sire and fledge's training session, so he carried little weight. It might even give Murphy the correct idea that Ben was a great deal intimidated by the blonde, who looked older, seemed to have his shit together, and even though he was younger, he could tap into his celerity. It wasn't often that Ben felt inferior to other fledges, but there it was.
"I spoke to Vomas at the Venture opening, too," he said, going back to the previous topic of Districts. "He told me I was living in Dark Angel territory. I might have to move."
-
Murphy relaxed slightly at Ben’s vague explanation of what had happened which left Murphy to fill in a lot of the gaps and he hoped he was doing it right. It must be difficult trying to fit into someone else’s training routine – or alternately for Vincent’s fledgling, having someone else suddenly there disrupting things. Murphy wondered if it had been much the same when Ichabod had begun training with Ben and Kerr. But Murphy knew that was definitely not a topic to bring up with Ben for so many reasons.
“Yeah, it’s gotta be tricky, I’m sure you’ll all get used to it though, you’ll regret it if you don’t stick with it,” Murphy said encouragingly, knowing how hard Ben found it to admit when he had been wrong, but he had the chance to carry on his training so he had to take it.
“Maybe I should come along to give you moral support,” Murphy added with a jokey grin. He didn’t expect Ben would want him to go along and watch his training, and Vincent and his fledgling probably wouldn’t want another unfamiliar face. But there was a part of Murphy which, despite knowing it would probably be taken as a joke and he wouldn’t be welcome, hoped Ben would say yes. He was curious to know how they went about training, what kind of things they did and how much practise it took. Ben had eagerly shown him new tricks after training, but that was different to seeing the progress being made. And it might help him know what to expect if he was ever sired.
A frown flickered across Murphy’s face as Ben explained about his conversation with Vomas. Seriously? If you were living in an area which wasn’t run by your own kind you would have to move? That seemed weird, and surely it could only lead to the city splitting up even more.
“Is it just because they’re Dark Angels? They don’t sound like the friendliest lot, is it because of that or would it be the same if you’d ended up in someone else’s District? What’s this one?” Murphy asked warily, hoping Ben wasn’t in danger living where he was, and curious as to who was ruling his own territory.
-
He nodded along to Murphy's words, having missed the sounding board that Murphy was, liking the ideas that were coming his way. The comment about moral support did get accepted as a joke, as Murphy suspected, and Ben smiled at the idea of it but didn't take it seriously.
Ben shrugged at the last question, and worked his way backwards from there.
"I dunno. I think come with me to the Ward sometime, and we can find out. Even if Conner can't see us, there'll be information there. Maybe even pamphlets or something." He looked at Murphy thoughtfully as he searched his mind for the other, earlier questions. "As for where I am, I'm not being forced to move or anything, but I'd prefer to live in a section of the city with a vampire in the leader position. I mean, what if I have some freaky incident with a dark angel? Might be biased judgment on that, so I thought it would be better to have the bias in my favour. Vomas seems to tolerate me, but Jake strikes me as more... forgiving."
He gave a humourless laugh. "Not that I plan on getting into any more trouble."
-
“No, I reckon we’d both try to stay under the radar,” Murphy said, giving a small smile which didn’t quite meet his eyes. He had no intention of doing anything which attracted attention, which was partly why he hadn’t tried too hard to find another paper or magazine in the city which might want to hire him.
“I can definitely see why you’d rather have one of them in control, I mean, different kinds stick together, don’t they. If I was under one of them and got myself in trouble they’d probably just chuck me to the dogs,” Murphy said, slouching back against the sofa and running a hand through his hair. He’d love to go see the Ward, get an idea of how things were working. But he’d written the piece which had got the Oligarchy disbanded and the Luminary killed (maybe not directly, but one thing lead to another). Ben was one of them, and had been Kerr’s partner, no doubt they’d be far more forgiving to him.
Murphy wasn’t worried about people coming after him for retaliation (although there had been a few sleepless nights thinking about that, nothing had come for him) but there was no way they would stick up for him if anything did happen.
“I thought about leaving here, just… starting new somewhere else. Maybe like, I dunno, DC or something. But I’ve thought about doing a lot of stuff over the years and I’m still here,” he added, glancing sideways at Ben with a wry smile. He’d considered asking Ben to go with him, but they hadn’t been talking then and he hadn’t imagined Ben would want to go anywhere with him. His lack of funds had been a dampener on making any real plans towards heading off as well. And now Ben had his Academy, so there was little chance of them heading off together. But the Academy was a good thing; it could give both of them something to focus on and work towards.
-
When Murphy spoke about potentially getting into trouble with his District Leader, Ben considered that it might be a good idea to put his own name down for notification, to speak up for his human friend. He was following this path in his head, wondering how to go about organising something like that when Murphy spoke again. Ben looked at him in horror - he didn't have too many people that he could really trust. Kerr was gone, Murphy was it and maybe Connor he could go to for help if he needed it, but he couldn't say he trusted the other vampire entirely. He didn't know where Connor's loyalties or obligations lay.
"When I went to New York," Ben began slowly, not wanting to say anything negative to Murphy about leaving while also trying to talk him into staying (because it sounded like he wanted to stay, judging by his last comment), "there was a club there, called Liquid Empire. It's owned by the same people who own Risk, I've found. Venture, I mean." That was just something he'd discovered long after coming back, because Venture had advertised their other locations and club names. "It's possible there was another political setup there, too. I know Jake came from there too, and they had this other name for their politics. Um... Camoflage, or something. That's not it, but, you know." He shrugged, hoping his point was made. Being in the know meant that Murphy might not technically be safe anywhere, and at least here he had Ben to watch his back.
-
Murphy’s smile faded as Ben explained that who had owned the club in New York. He’d known they had spread out a lot, but he hadn’t really thought that they might have ties wherever he went. If the Sacramentum wanted nothing to do with him he might find it more difficult than he thought to get similar work elsewhere. And now that he knew about it all there was no way he wanted to pretend he knew nothing. He wanted to make the most of his knowledge, to use it however he could. But the opportunities all seemed to have slammed shut.
“I met up with him a few times. Not Jake, the vampire who runs the Sacramentum, the ones who own Venture. It’s like one big family. We didn’t really go into the politic ties they might have, but yeah, I guess it would make sense that other cities would have something like here. I’d like to find out more… no one would want to talk about stuff like that though, would they?” Murphy didn’t really know much about Jake, but if Ben hardly even knew the name of the politics Jake had been involved in there it was unlikely Jake would want to talk to a human about it.
He fell silent, once again considering where else he could go, but then he remembered the look on Ben’s face when he first mentioned it and he shuffled a little closer, his thigh pressing against Ben’s as he gave his hand another squeeze.
“I would have asked you to come with me. I wouldn’t have just gone. Even when we were… y’know. I would have asked you.”
-
Ben nodded, listening closely to what Murphy said about the owners of Venture. There was something about the place that had made him uneasy, in a way that Risk hadn't. Perhaps it was because he wasn't used to it yet, and he had to admit they'd taken a lot of the sleaze out of it (a lot, but not all). Still, he'd be using it for the convenience of willing donors, that was for sure. He shrugged when Murphy asked him the valid question of asking what was around and available in other cities.
"Maybe the Academy should teach that, too," he said, for it was something he was also interested in, and would be very handy.
He smiled warmly and placed a hand on Murphy's knee when told his friend wouldn't just split without him, even when they were going through a difficult patch.
"I know," he said softly. "I wouldn't have just left, either."
He didn't know if he would've gone with Murphy though. There was no telling now. If the invitation had come before he'd met Vincent, before he'd become involved in the idea of an Academy, he very likely would've skipped town and run off with his friend. It would've felt like running away though, and he'd done enough of that to know it never solved problems, it just found new ones. Perhaps he wouldn't have then. He'd never know for sure, and since Murphy was staying, he didn't have to.
"You should write that stuff down," he suggested. "All the things you'd like to know about the supernatural world. It's a starting point, right?"
-
Murphy gave a quiet snort of laughter, shaking his head slightly.
“Yeah, I’ll write it all down and then have someone like Jake look at it and laugh. Most of it’s probably stuff they wouldn’t even want to tell other vampires, let alone a class full of human students.” He hesitated though as he realised he might be sounding too negative about Ben’s idea and he didn’t want to do that. It was a good idea, Murphy just couldn’t imagine all of his questions would be answered, but he gave Ben a warm smile.
“But you’re right, it’s a start. And there might be a few answers to be had. I’m just used to people dodging my questions. I bet a lot of the groupies around Venture would be interested in finding out more. Although you want to make sure they don’t think it’s like vampire training or something. I mean, training in preparation to be sired.”
-
[ooc] Sorry didn't even see this, thought it was your turn, ack! [/ooc]
"The Academy's going to be in the neutral zone, at the City Ward Headquarters," Ben said, but now that Murphy had mentioned Jake's possible rejection of the proposal, he was acutely aware that his idea for Kerr's memorial might not even get up off the ground. Conner would give way to the ex-Oligarch members.
Or would he? He was the most powerful District Leader of them all. Technically speaking he didn't have their title, but he had the ability to work within their districts, and out of respect for their rules allowed his own to be trumped (as far as Ben had understood it, upon reading the articles in the supernatural publications). He was much like the United Nations - working with the District Leaders to uphold a certain law-abiding citizenship throughout all districts. If he had trouble in a certain district - like where Zoheret was, where Ben lived - he might choose to simply pull out of there and leave Zoheret to fend for herself. Her territory might not be recognised.
"I definitely have to move," he said, the comment following his train of thought but not Murphy's spoken words. He excused himself with a chuckle and a shake of the head, before addressing Murphy's valid points. "You're right, but to be honest I don't see a lot of humans having access to particular classes. You'll have special access," he said authoritively, though he couldn't really make such promises because Conner might decide to trump him. It was Ben's chance to find out if money talked, anyway. A donation of fifteen million wasn't going to be something he expected Conner would throw away, over a single person. "I'll find out who's in charge of Chinatown. It's not quite Metro, but it's probably Jake," he guessed incorrectly.
-
Murphy’s smile brightened at the thought of being allowed access to what other humans wouldn’t be able to get to, but then it faded again all too quickly. Special access hadn’t done him so well in the past. He’d been promoted to writing more about what he wanted too which not many people had got, then he’d had access to the information from that damn book. What if he fucked it up again by knowing something he shouldn’t? And Murphy definitely didn’t want Ben getting in the bad books of the vampires in control of the city because he was trying to get his friend more than he should have.
“I don’t want you pushing to get me into stuff if it’s going to cause trouble. I mean, I’m probably not top human in the lists of people allowed access. Conner definitely didn’t seem impressed with me and I don’t blame them if they don’t want me in,” he said, gently chewing on his lower lip.
“Thanks for finding out who it is in charge around here. It probably won’t make all that much difference, but I’d like to know,” he said, giving Ben a warm smile. “This is all starting to feel pretty one sided though, I mean, you’ve offered to pay my debt, and get me into classes in your academy, get me more work and I’ve got nothing much to offer you. Other than a drink, and I enjoy that too so it feels like I’m not even offering anything much,” Murphy said with a chuckle, running a hand through his hair. He didn’t even know if Ben would want to drink from him, not after what had happened last time they got close.
“You got to let me know if there is anything you need. I’ll do it,” Murphy said, reaching out to squeeze his friend’s hand. He’d felt shit leaving Ben alone when he’d obviously been at a point when he needed a friend, but Ben had made it clear he didn’t want Murphy around, so what could he have done? All he could do was be there now.
-
Ben stared evenly at Murphy, understanding his concern, but wanting his friend to realise that they were in this together.
"I was your source, Murph," he said. "I doubt they'll care about you knowing stuff as long as you promise not to write about it."
Ben hadn't mentioned this to his friend, but he wasn't keeping his journals anymore. The whole idea of them had soured, first in New York, and then after Kerr. He read a lot, and he made notes of things he wanted to try out, but he wasn't keeping those notes once he got started on the training.
When Murphy started talking about not offering much, Ben breathed soft laughter.
"I've also got you demoted, put you in the bad books of your past employers and ruined your reputation as a journalist for the supernatural quotient in this city. You can call it whatever you like, but what you offer me is the value of a true friend, and I can't avoid sounding like a cliche, but it's the kind of thing money can't buy." He grinned, feeling daggy but good about complimenting his friend when it was well deserved.
He was pensive for a moment, thinking about whether it would be wise to do something so intimate as drink from Murphy, considering they'd been a little too cosy last time and it had separated them. But that was different - that had been grief and confusion and sexual undercurrents, and guilt, let's not forget guilt.
"A drink?" he prompted, then licked his lips and chuckled self-consciously.
-
Murphy forced a smile onto his face as Ben pointed out he wasn’t a risk if he promised not to write about what he knew. He hadn’t written any more articles about the supernatural – nothing anyone wanted to read anyway. But nothing else seemed to hold his interest when he was writing. He wouldn’t even feel comfortable writing fiction that had anything to do with the supernatural now, and writing was all he ever wanted to do.
Maybe they were in it together, but Ben was a part of that world. He wasn’t intruding where he wasn’t wanted. But at least Ben was here now and Ben wanted him to be a part of his life, even if no one else wanted him there.
He had lowered his gaze as the silence stretched out between them following his offer. Murphy knew Ben would probably have some doubts about it, and Murphy was almost wishing he hadn’t offered. But that peace which came to him when he was fed from sounded like just what he needed right now so when Ben finally took him up on it Murphy lifted his hazel eyes with a more natural smile.
“Sure,” he said, echoing Ben’s chuckle a little nervously as he slid closer to the vampire along the sofa. He didn’t bother removing his t-shirt, the neck as low enough on it that it wouldn’t get in the way and he didn’t think they needed any reminders of what had happened last time. He made no move to straddle Ben, or lie down, both of those positions seemed too provocative, although lying down was probably the most relaxed way to do this. He didn’t want to arrange himself in a way Ben would find uncomfortable.
“DO you wanna do it like this, sitting up, or…?” he voice trailed off, leaving the end of the question unspoken. They could just stay sat up, but he would follow Ben’s lead on it – it seemed only natural when Ben would obviously have the upper hand in this situation anyway.
-
Ben was about to answer that sitting up would be fine, but that meant he'd either be straddling Murphy, or one of them draped over the other in some way. It didn't matter how tiny a hold they had on one another really, it would be intimate enough. He didn't want to be caught up in the memory of his mistake. They'd already hugged, were touching each other as they'd used to without too much restraint or awkwardness - why behave any differently?
"We could lie down on your bed, we always used to do it lying down," Ben started, then eased what he anticipated was growing tension. "I won't make a move on you, I promise," he said with a grin and a bad attempt at a boy scout salute, with the wrong fingers held up to his temple.
-
Murphy gave a small nod at the decision Ben had made, then a chuckle made its way out at Ben’s promise. No, there wouldn’t be a repeat – they’d both been in a weird place last time, this was different, this was more like how it had been every other time before.
“Well that’s okay then,” he said with a grin as he pushed himself to his feet and gestured for Ben towards him into the bedroom. His pace quickened slightly in the last few steps into the room as Murphy moved swiftly to the bed, straightening the sheets as he’d only made a half-hearted effort at making it when he’d got up that morning. It was probably pointless since they’d be lying on it soon, but he felt like it needed to be done. At least he knew the sheets were clean, even if it didn’t look like a hotel made bed.
The rest of the room was pretty bare – Murphy hadn’t got around to putting up any pictures or photos in here and the bookcase which was crammed with books was lacking the interesting personal items which were in the study. He hadn’t been sleeping too well and any distractions or reminders really just seemed like a bad idea.
“Sorry it’s a bit of a …” Mess had been what Murphy was about to say but as he glanced around it didn’t really seem too bad. There were no clothes scattered around, just a glass and a couple of books on the nightstand.
“Mess. Okay, it’s not as bad as the living room was,” he said with a grin at Ben. He just needed to get his head back in the right place, maybe when he was working properly again he would feel more normal again.
He waved a hand vaguely towards the bed as he slid onto it, urging Ben to do the same. He lay on his left side facing Ben, propping himself up on an elbow, his legs slightly curled. His heart rate had picked up in anticipation of the bite and his shining hazel eyes stayed fixed on Ben.
-
Ben followed Murphy into the bedroom, and thankfully it didn't feel awkward or weird once he was in there. He crawled onto it after toeing off his shoes, leaving them discarded at the bedside. He lay down on his right, looking at and mirroring Murphy who was facing him. He could hear Murphy's accelerated heartbeat, and also feel it through the bed, but that might've been his imagination. He shuffled closer and placed his arm over Murphy's waist, his fingers splayed on his friend's back between his shoulder blades. Murphy didn't often flinch, but it was a habit Ben had adopted to ensure his donors were safe - even the ones he didn't really care about.
He closed in and pressed his lips to Murphy's neck, and relished the familiar smell and comfortable feeling of being with someone he knew well and he could feel safe with. He made sure Murphy was ready for the bite with a few nuzzles and scrapes of his teeth, a kiss and then the bite. He was getting better at it, though he'd never been terrible, like some were. He'd always been a quick study. Murphy didn't flinch or wince or make any sort of pained movement or sound when Ben's fangs pierced him, and soon enough the blood took over and Ben's mind was no longer conscious of every single thing that was going on. He just drank and drifted and listened to the steady pound of Murphy's heart, feeling like they were connected now, because it was thrumming through his body.
-
Murphy let his arm move over Ben’s, his fingers resting lightly on Ben’s shoulder. He felt safe in Ben’s hold, not nervous about pleasing him like he’d been with Charon, or worried that he might get hurt as he’d felt with strangers in Risk. No, this was warm, familiar, secure.
His eyes drifted shut as Ben nuzzled at his throat and he barely felt his fangs sinking into him, but he let out a slow breath as Ben began to drink. His head relaxed onto the pillow as Murphy felt all of his worries drift away. His job was shit, his apartment was pathetic, his name meant nothing anymore and he’d lost any chance he might have had at becoming closer to the Sacramentum. But none of it mattered. None of it was important.
His fingers stroked the soft material of Ben’s jumper in a soothing motion, like a child stroking a teddy bear. He only ever felt aroused being drunk from if he was drunk and that was rare. He much preferred this feeling, like he was floating happy away from all of his problems. His heart rate had picked up before the bite, but now it slowed to a calm pound that he could feel in the base of his skull.
-
Ben drank selfishly, he thought, taking enough from Murphy that it was unlikely he'd be able to allow anyone to drink from him for at least a month. As Murphy drifted and calmed, so too did Ben. He ended up cuddling his friend, pressed firmly against him. Once he was done, he swiped the tip of his tongue harshly across a fang and bled into the punctures he'd created, licking them clean even as he felt the skin heal beneath them. His tongue healed before Murphy's skin, so he had to swipe a second time, and eventually lay his head down on the pillow. He rested his forehead against Murphy and closed his eyes, the relaxed nature of his willing donor having the same effect on him.
"I love you, I really do," he said gently. "You mean more to me than my blood brother, and I wish I hadn't chosen him to be sired. I wish I'd chosen you."
The timing had been off, and he didn't think Kerr would've agreed to sire Murphy anyway. Ichabod had been Ben's backup for Kerr, and Murphy would've been his backup for him. It was strange to think of such things now, that there'd been a time when he'd thought that he and Kerr would fall apart. They'd become so strong, fallen in love all over again, and despite all the trouble they'd had and the fact Kerr had been forced to go through his relationship with Ben twice (though Ben suspected the second time had been a great deal easier), they'd finally settled into a groove that Ben had thought would last forever.
If Murphy was a vampire and not a mortal, he thought that even though he would miss the drinking, there would be a different energy between them.
-
There was a dreamy smile on Murphy's face as Ben healed his neck. He wasn't sleepy, just peaceful and content to lie pressed close against his friend, drawing comfort from having him close. Someone saying they loved you was always nice and it sent a warm tingle through his body. He's always felt like this with Ben, ever since the first time the vampire had bit him. "I love you too, I'm so glad you're here," he murmured in response, squeezing Ben's shoulder lightly.
He gave a quiet chuckle as Ben mentioned getting him sired instead of Ichabod, nuzzling his cheek against the soft pillowcase. It would never have happened. Murphy guessed Kerr would never have agreed, they'd never really got to know each other and Murphy had never felt the need to try really. He didn't want Kerr to think he was any kind of threat - that might have put his and Ben's friendship at risk.
"I thought they might sire me one day, the Sacramentum. Not soon, Charon told me about people they had sired, or not sired in the end. Some of them waited years before they were deemed worthy, or were told they wouldn't be sired. But maybe, one day, I might have been." He gave a small sigh and half opened his eyes, almost surprised to realise just how close Ben was, although he'd felt him there. There was no breath on his cheek to remind him though.
"Could you sire me? Do you think? Are you old enough? Could you do it now?" He'd meant to think the questions but they all tumbled out one after another as he thought of them. Ben had already drunk a lot, Murphy could feel that, would it take much more to finish him off? Would Ben's blood be strong enough to change him or would he just die in his friend's arms?
-
Ben was shocked into silence for a long moment, the last question hanging in the air awkwardly between them.
"Now?" he asked, stalling for time. He wanted Murphy to retract his questions, because it would be easier than dealing with them. He was fairly sure he hadn't flinched or pressed Murphy hurtfully in any way, that he'd simply lain very still while the questions rolled over him, but he couldn't be a hundred percent sure. Even though he didn't want to pull away because he didn't want to see the look on Murphy's face, he ended up doing exactly that. "You want to be sired, now?"
Or did he want to be sired by Ben, specifically? Ben had declared love for him, after all. It made sense that a declaration as powerful as that would be tested - but immediately? He didn't know if Murphy had been waiting for those words before asking, or if being drunk from had lowered his guard enough for him to blurt out his true desires. Either way, Ben had to deal with it.
-
And just like that, with the long silence and then Ben’s obvious distaste for the idea, Murphy’s good feelings began to evaporate and the rock in the pit of his stomach returned with a jolt. Why had he said anything? It had just seemed to follow on with the conversation since Ben had mentioned it first.
“I don’t know… it was never supposed to be now, or soon, whenever I thought about it,” Murphy said, dropping his hand away from Ben’s shoulder to rub over his own face, trying to pull his thoughts together from where they had happy scattered apart on a cloud. His face had twisted up as though in pain, but it wasn’t a physical pain, just wishing he’d stopped himself in time.
It was supposed to be in a few years, when he felt like he’d managed to make something of his life before becoming a vampire. But he wasn’t going to be a sought after reporter, write the great American novel and getting married and starting a family didn’t exactly fit in with the whole planning to die.
He’d never seriously considered asking Ben either – the blonde was so young himself, Murphy didn’t know if he was able to sire anyone yet, hence the questions. And Ben had always had Kerr. Ichabod was already a third wheel in that relationship, Murphy hadn’t wanted to become another spare part in that. But now Kerr was gone, Ichabod and Ben were obviously not best buddies and they only had each other. Murphy didn’t have anyone else to ask and going hunting for a sire hadn’t appealed to him. He’d wanted someone he knew, someone he would trust with his life.
“It doesn’t matter. Don’t worry about it, I was just wondering if you could.” But if Ben had said yes, he could, and then begun Murphy knew he wouldn’t have tried to stop him. He wanted to be changed sometime, why did it matter when anymore?
-
"I'm sure I'm able," Ben said gently, the shock wearing off now that he'd had a moment to gather himself. Of course he knew Murphy had considered vampirism, it was just that Ben was never part of the plan. He knew it made sense to broach it now - during a time when they had nobody else but each other. He gently stroked his fingertips down Murphy's face, not wanting to say no but not ready to say yes, either. It was a hell of a commitment. "Is this something you've thought about for very long?" he asked, doubting that Murphy had, because it had felt spontanous to him. "I mean, with me siring you," he estblished.
-
Murphy gave a small smile as Ben stroked his cheek, although he was still regretting blurting out his thoughts. Ben’s shock dissipating helped his own panic start to fade, although he was a long way from the calm he’d reached a few moments earlier.
“No, you’re… you had other things, there were loads of reasons why not and I just never thought we’d… y’know, it wasn’t right.” He gave a small sigh, lowering his gaze to a spot on the pillow between them.
“But then you mentioned it and I just thought… I feel safe like this. I trust you completely and with this you want someone you can trust, cos it’s… it’s a big thing.” Something of an understatement perhaps, Murphy knew, but in his haze he wasn’t feeling particularly eloquent and he knew Ben would understand. And Ben had said he could. If he didn't want to sire him at all then he could have lied, he could have said he didn't think he was strong enough.
-
It was true, there used to be lots of other things getting in the way of his siring Murphy - and the fact he hadn't yet seen ten years as a vampire was the one that persisted. Siring someone when he'd been a vampire for only eight years would've sounded ridiculous to him, if he'd heard it about someone else. Being in this position though, it made sense to him. He had nobody else that was close to him anymore - his sire and true love was dead. He was facing eternity alone, and he'd believed that he would sire someone when he found the right person and was at the right age - but look at Vincent. He'd had to wait six centuries before finding Owen, and not for lack of looking. Vincent had made a passing comment that had implied to Ben that he'd been looking for someone to spend eternity with, a companion had been his word, and it was a word that suited Murphy. Murphy was the perfect companion, and if he didn't sire him, there was a possibility that nobody else would, and he would watch his friend age, and die. Worse, Murphy's mortality might strike at any time with a stupid accident, and then Ben would be alone and filled with regret.
"I always thought I would eventually sire someone," he began, needing to convey his thoughts out loud, because he respected Murphy to present him with the whole idea. "And I realise that it's always going to be a gamble. The timing isn't great right now, but I might never find someone else I connect with as well as you. I might never find someone I want to share this connection with. When I was looking for a sire, I didn't get it. I was young and craved independance, but being sired takes independance away. You become this baby bird, and you need someone who cares enough about you to look after you. I would do that for you, I really would. I want to. My mental powers are shit right now, though, and even if I got permission to sire you, I'd have trouble training you. But!" he said, lifting up his pointer finger between their faces. "This academy I'm funding, it would help. It would be clever to set up a class for fledglings who've lost sires, or with sires that left them without finishing their duty. Or those with sires too young to properly train someone. You and me both."
He paused to take in more breath, not to breathe but to finish speaking.
"We have to wait a couple of years though, for a few reasons," he said with a tiny smile, "the Academy needs to be set up and working. I'm going to ask for permission now, for me to sire you down the line, so the powers that be can see that I'm not rushing anything, and... and I need time because... because Kerr died and I have to... I can't just jump into this. I'm not ready for that," he said, stumbling over his words and hearing the tremor in his voice. Sometimes, even he couldn't sound calm and collected depending on the nature of the emotion nipping at him.
-
Murphy returned his eyes to Ben’s to watch him as the blonde voiced his thoughts, taking it in and giving a small nod in the right places. They would have regretted doing it tonight, rushing into it like that. It was a bad time for both of them and running away from things to tumble straight into more problems wouldn’t help. But if Ben went and asked for permission, that would make it feel more real, give them time to prepare for it, knowing it would happen rather than it being an ‘if’ or a ‘maybe’.
“A couple of years sounds perfect for us,” Murphy said with a warm smile. It made sense for so many reasons to wait; getting help with training, letting Ben was more advanced himself, even just giving them both time to get used to the idea. And of course, Ben was still mourning. He would always mourn the loss of his sire and the man he loved, that would never go away. But with time, it would get better, little by little.
Murphy ran his fingers along Ben’s cheek, then into his hair, curling softly as Murphy leant forwards to brush a kiss against Ben’s cheek. He hated seeing anyone upset, but when it was Ben it was all the worse. Not just because they were so close, but also because Ben was so practised at hiding his emotions, seeing him let them slip out was unnerving.
“I know it’s hard, of course you need time,” he said softly, laying his head on the pillow beside Ben’s again. “You know I’m here whenever you need me. You’ll be alright. I promise, you’ll be okay. But it’s alright for you not to be right now. It’s normal.”
-
"Thank you," Ben whispered, feeling grateful and relieved, and all the better for talking about his future. A future with his friend. A future that didn't have to be lonely.