Kerr stood, poised, just inside the kitchen, listening... but he heard nothing. Not mentally or aurally. He closed the door that led to the yard and the garage beyond that, replaced his keys on the appropriate hook and began moving through the house. There were a few hours until dawn but he was already exhausted; Lazarus had given him much to think about and he\'d meandered his way home, pondering.
He felt guilty, because he wasn\'t sure that the city would be better off without the Oligarchy, despite his hatred for them. If the only experience he\'d ever had with them had been his trial, then he would\'ve been behind Lazarus one hundred percent. Looking after Tag had given him an entirely different insight into their workings, however, seeing the benefits to having a group on whom supernaturals could depend for help when it was needed. It was frequently needed, too.
Ben was another key factor in his thoughts. Kerr hated the way he\'d been punished by Declan - supposedly a trusted Oligarch - but eventually the mortal\'s tenacity had been rewarded and he had been embraced. This led Kerr to the conclusion that Halen was not an unreasonable man, despite the fact that the vampire had always considered him thus (while watching Mandy be whipped and Ben dragged away from him). Halen seemed... strict, more than anything; someone who adhered directly to the letter of the law and wouldn\'t deviate but would consider all factors equally, attaining a balance in the end.
Kerr really didn\'t know what to think. He was too emotionally involved with the Oligarchy to have any sort of objective viewpoint and Lazarus... the Ancient was a whole other sphere of influence that he didn\'t know how to handle either. He strode silently through the kitchen, drawing room and foyer, everything he\'d been contemplating still swirling through his mind. Gaining the top of the staircase that led to his room, he set the alarm and moved towards his bedroom, casting a glance down the cross hall that led to Sawyl\'s room but not allowing himself to dwell.
His mental fortitude was completely undone when he opened his bedroom door and closed it behind him, though. Sawyl was lying in his bed, almost as if he was dozing, beneath the covers. He sat up when Kerr entered, watching happily as the tall vampire came to a stop just inside the doorway, shoulders stiffening as he prepared for the verbal assault he expected Wyl to deliver.
"Where have you been?" Sawyl asked softly - almost pleasantly. Kerr blinked and frowned, having expected nothing less than venemous accusations of philandering or whoring his fangs out to make another fledgling without warning Sawyl of his intent - such had been the most recent spits in his general direction.
"Out. I went for a walk to clear my head," the adult answered succinctly, not prepared to move from the doorway lest he stir up more trouble (though he really wanted a shower and to sleep as soon as possible).
"Did it work?"
"I... guess."
"You still seem preoccupied to me."
"What are you doing in here?"
"I wanted to sleep with you."
"Why?"
"Because I\'ve decided I forgive you."
"I don\'t need your forgiveness, it was none of your business."
"Well. I made it my business, didn\'t I?"
The smug tone sent a cold stab of fear through Kerr\'s heart and he was compelled to move then, approaching the bed and reaching it in two long strides. "What did you do?"
"Oh... nothing much."
"What did you do?!"
"Tsk, tsk, there\'s no need to yell. I just... paid your little halfbreed a visit tonight, that\'s all."
Kerr suddenly felt weak, wondering insanely if Ben was dead, fretting that he hadn\'t felt that part of him wrenched out but terrified that he\'d been too far away from the fledgling to know. Rapid images of Ben, Arles, an aerial view of Lazarus\' house compared to the penthouse all sifted wildly through his mind as he tried to work out if the worst disaster he could imagine had occurred and he\'d remained ignorant. He felt lost, he swayed. Sawyl was thoroughly unimpressed.
"Don\'t worry," the child spat hatefully, "he\'s still alive. He\'s just wiser now."
"Wiser? In what way?"
"Well... now he knows the way things are between us."
"Us?"
"Yes! Don\'t be so obtuse - I showed him!"
"You... fuck, you showed him? Showed him what?!"
"Everything. Everything we\'ve been to each other, everything we are."
"Oh, God. You showed him us having sex?"
"Yes. He needed to know."
"HE NEEDED TO KNOW NOTHING! You had no fucking right!"
Silence descended on the room rapidly, the air suddenly electrified as their argument reached a peak and Kerr\'s tortured tones rent the vast house into awareness. The twins stirred, in their suite, and began attending to the argument - he felt them start prodding at his mind and realised they weren\'t actually sleeping, they were in their sitting room for their presence to be felt here... possibly even outside their room but-
Sawyl snapped the covers of the bed back and stood up on the mattress, his height still not all that imposing and his presence undermined somewhat by his nudity. "I\'m sick of this bullshit," he sneered, walking down the bed towards Kerr and placing chubby little fists on his hips. "It\'s time you acknowledged it. You\'re mine, not his, and the pretense that he belongs somewhere between us has got to stop!"
"It\'s not a pretense," Kerr said coldly, sickened by being claimed. He realised he should never have started playing Sawyl\'s games; he wasn\'t in his league and had never been able to compete fairly. Sure, he\'d got the information he\'d wanted at the time - but at what cost? Apparently he was about to find out. "He\'s part of my life."
"He\'s NOT!!"
It was Kerr\'s turn to be silent in the face of vociferous screaming and he waited until it felt right to continue. "You\'re right Wyl; we do need to talk. It\'s time we faced facts. Things aren\'t like they were, any more."
"No, because you insist on pretending you feel something for-"
"I do feel something for him. I love him."
"Sure you do... love," the boy sneered condescendingly, as if listening to a four year old talk about marrying his mummy because he loved her sooooo much.
"It\'s true."
"Of course it is, in your mind."
"And my heart."
"You\'re not in love with him," the elder vampire snapped, his temper unravelling fast. His pretty lips were pursed, his smooth forehead marred as concern crept through his being. The feelings of anxiety only increased as Kerr fell quiet again and he reflexively began watching his progeny\'s thoughts.
"Stop that. It\'s rude," Kerr ordered, feeling his sire\'s mental fingers trailing about his thoughts, digging. Despite telling him to stop, however, something resolute within him showed the child openly what he sought, declaring his feelings for his fledgling succinctly.
"You\'re lying," Wyl cried, aghast at what he was shown.
"I didn\'t say anything."
"You\'re lying!" the eleven year old screeched again, tears now welling and a lump encroaching upon his throat.
"It\'s true. I don\'t love you any more."
"It\'s not true!"
"It\'s been true for a long time."
"You love me, you do!"
"I did. It changed. We\'ve changed. It\'s been four hundred years for fuck\'s sake, did you expect it would always be that way?"
"YES!" Sawyl bellowed, the tears flowing now as he heard the truth, saw it in Kerr\'s sad but determined expression, watched it in his thoughts. The proof was irrefutable.
"Then you\'re more naive than I expected."
"Don\'t say that! How can you be so cruel?"
Kerr stepped forward and gripped the child\'s upper arms in his vice-like hands, shoving his face up against the other\'s. The fact that the blue eyes were swimming with agony didn\'t effect him this time; not now that the threat against Ben was made clear. Times had certainly changed.
"The same fucking way you can! You taught me everything you know! Did you not think I would get sick of your bullshit one day? You\'re a fucking fool, Sawyl! You\'ve treated me like dirt - all of you have - and the instant that I start seeing that my life doesn\'t have to be a complete shithole, with you bastards crapping on me all the time, you decide you\'ll be nice to make sure I stick around. I\'m DONE being your fucking LAPDOG! You showed Ben us screwing but I bet you failed to tell him how it meant nothing! I only did it to find out if you\'d done something to him - to see inside you while you were distracted and weak! You didn\'t even know, you were so easily manipulated - it was all for him, even then! You think in two dimensions and you are both of them - well, the rest of the world isn\'t geared towards loving you all the time. You used me up and I\'m fucking wrecked by you. You take and take and take and expect I\'m going to wait around patiently, waiting to cheerfully give while you step on everything that matters to me in an effort to make sure I have no interests beyond you and your mothers. Well, I do. I have Ben now and I\'m in-"
"NOOOO!!" Sawyl screamed and Kerr instantly fell away from him. As much as he\'d hurt Arles\' mind earlier in the evening and it had taken a great deal of his strength, hearing the soul-destroying words coming from his beloved\'s mouth had given him new energy, new passion... new power with which to strike, so he had. He blasted Kerr\'s mind. He was sobbing uncontrollably, unwilling to look down at the dark-haired vampire now twitching on the plush carpet at the foot of the bed. He stared straight ahead at the wall instead, not able to think beyond the way his heart was breaking. Part of him knew that Kerr was right and he hated himself for it. He also hated Kerr. He honestly believed that this was the last straw, the last fight, the end... and he couldn\'t handle it.
Blindly, Sawyl fled the room, wrenching open the door and leaving it wide open as he threw himself over the bannister and floated downstairs, his powers on automatic and thrumming through him with a connectedness he\'d never experienced. He couldn\'t bear the pain any longer; he wouldn\'t. The last time he\'d felt horror like this, Kerr had been there to help him through - now Kerr was the enemy, the vile seed that needed to be expelled from his head and his heart, the one who should pay for all the misery his tiny body was being forced to endure. It wasn\'t supposed to be this way. He was supposed to be loved, always, him, beyond and over anyone else, he was special and beautiful. He was a child and he was a survivor.
Kerr wasn\'t. He needed to learn that and it was unfortunate, but it was necessary. He half ran, half levitated his way out to the garage, where there were tools. He found an axe with minimal time spent searching. His gaze was feverish, his body still shuddering, for the crying simply wouldn\'t stop. Inside, he was rather still, oddly; funny how that worked. He knew what had to be done to stop this pain and he would kill his love... just as the man himself wanted. Kerr didn\'t love him any more, so he was wanting to be removed from him. The only way Sawyl would allow that to happen, would be in death - Kerr should\'ve known that, he\'d been there for Angus\' death, had understood how final things had to be when there was a parting.
Sawyl turned and ran back inside the house, not having the presence of mind to wonder why the alarm wasn\'t going off but possibly realising how it had been shut down (if he\'d been in a state to comprehend) when he entered Kerr\'s bedroom. The helpless, mind-broken vampire he was intent on killing was barred by Meinwen and Dei. Wyl came to a stop, his gaze roving uncomprehendingly from the floor, up their pyjama-clad legs and bodies to their skewed heads.
Their expressions were serious but sad; they were beautiful women whom he usually saw moving like delicate, broken dolls. Now, they were more still than he\'d ever seen them and it gave the child - their child - pause, the axe held across his body, the shiny steel head supported by his left hand.
At first glance, the twins always appeared to be embracing, their beautiful, waist-length golden ringlets (which Sawyl had inherited, though in a different shade of brown, from his father) tumbled like champagne down over their pretty faces and narrow shoulders, their enormous blue eyes (also an inherited trait) surrounded by thick eyelashes in a most expressive way. Once they took a few steps, however, the image of love and beauty... skittered somewhat. Their heads were joined off centre; the left woman as one looked at them (Dei) was taller, her left temple connected to nearly the top of her sister\'s (Meinwen\'s) head, causing the two of them to move in a most ungainly manner.
Apart from this fact, they were perfect, their frames small and curvy, their breasts generous and legs shapely - should they choose to be showing them off. They were nearly always wearing the same type of outfit and it was rare to find them not holding hands or hugging - even when they moved. As always, they were embracing now, but only with their inside arms - Dei\'s was hanging free and Meinwen\'s was held out towards Sawyl. She spoke first.
"We cannot allow you to do this, son." She spoke in Welsh, which was a clear sign that they were heavily distressed. Generally they only ever communicated mentally and if it was out loud, it was in accented English. They\'d obviously seen what had transpired between he and Kerr, had seen his intent and decided they should intervene. Wyl simply couldn\'t fathom why and his bewilderment was evident as he sobbed and spoke furiously back at them.
"He needs to die! He chose him! He\'s not ours any more!"
"He never was
much to begin with," the twins answered, Dei taking over halfway through the sentence and completing it. Their voices were both soft and dream-like - the human realisation of a delicate bird\'s voice, perhaps - but Dei\'s was of a deeper timbre and demonstrated a rare difference between the two.
Sawyl\'s face screwed up as his agony fed directly into his rage. "He fucking WAS! He was mine! I made him, I can destroy him!"
"You\'ll only regret it," they said together.
"NO I WON\'T!" he screamed and made his move, swinging the axe in a wild and unplanned arc as he began to run forward. His struggle was brief, the weapon out of his hands and his sob-wracked body hefted into the twins\' waiting arms long before he posed any danger to Kerr. For all their apparent weakness, the twins had strength enough to defeat their broken son and they took him to their room, closing the door behind them to allow the one who had caused their despair his recovery time, and his escape.
When Kerr was able to see straight and move, he did so, scrambling away from the abandoned axe as if it might attack him anyway. He was completely aware of what had gone on in his weakened state, though he had no earthly explanation as to why the twins had saved him. Perhaps they realised their part in the whole drama that had been their lives together and were doing their best to make up for it; perhaps they were sorry for raping Kerr, toying with him and stretching his trust into hatred so long ago that it had never recovered. Perhaps they simply didn\'t want Sawyl to make a decision so final in such a distraught frame of mind.
Whatever the case, Kerr had been gifted his life (or his continuing undeath, at the very least) and he knew that it was time to move on physically, since he had emotionally anyway. At first, movement was a struggle and though he wasn\'t interfered with by his housemates, he was aware of their perusal. Sawyl\'s devastation was a vacuum that permeated the house and the twins could do nothing to console him - eventually, he slept and things became easier.
Kerr spent his time rather clinically. He packed clothes into suitcases - six of them, which he carried down to the car in two trips - collected every personal belonging out of his bedroom and then took all the files and the laptop out of the office. Eventually, he would return and speak to the twins about taking financial control of everything they deserved or might need, in order to survive; in the meantime, he would continue taking care of things like electricity bills, rates payments and the security company\'s employment. His mind was hurting, his soul was chilled and he needed to get away - from them and from everyone, for a while. Just for a while.
He didn\'t look back nostalgically as he drove out of the garage and through the gate; he didn\'t even glance in the rear view mirror. Nothing in this world would be able to make him willingly turn to look on that house or think of the residents within at this point and it would be a long time before he could change that. By the same token, he wasn\'t ready to contemplate the future and where he would go in any depth; he drove to the first decent hotel he could find, ordered a room with no windows and took the barest essentials he\'d need up with him once he\'d received his key. He\'d paid for the room for a week, he figured that might be long enough to make some decisions.
As the sun rose on a new day in the city, it found Kerr slipping into a cold and welcome darkness in a strange bed, where nothing would impact him for a while. He was done with feeling, fighting and thinking. That was all ended for now... he might have been glad, if he hadn\'t been so numb. His world was black and empty, his naked flesh uncluttered by anything except scratchy white sheets around him, his eyelids closed over eyes unable to shed tears. His mind embraced slumber willingly, his body shutting down just as gratefully. Somehow, again, he\'d survived and it was all over. All of it concluded, everything and everyone in new places and separate... where they belonged.
It was the end of he and Sawyl, the end of habit and the end of love. Four hundred was an odd place to start being, but that was what he would do... alone.
