Telling Arles

[Trillian]

He\'d come home angry after visiting with Kerr.  He hadn\'t told Arles the truth about where he\'d gone, wanting to keep his visitations with Kerr a secret.  He honestly didn\'t know why he\'d bothered, for Kerr couldn\'t be bothered understanding the fact that Ben needed to be with someone more stable than he ever was.

He offered to buy me a car.  It went from being offered a brand new car to having his apartment keys flung at me while that look was on his face.  What the fuck happened?

Arles\' name had been mentioned, that was what happened.  So much for Kerr being understanding.  The Irishman had told Ben not so long ago that he was better off with Arles.  Now that his situation had changed, Ben was supposed to dump Arles and go running to him?  Hardly.  Ben wasn\'t going to use Arles that way, he loved him (though wasn\'t in love with him, but it made the sex easier, to care about Arles the way he did, grateful for everything the blonde had done for him, with no expectations for personal gain).

So, it had been a week after Ben had showered and hid his original secret from Arles, seven nights after he\'d pushed towards some sharing with he and Arles, in order to keep the knowledge of Kerr at bay.  Now, he was going to spill the truth - only he was going to do it with a slight delay in place.

He bypassed the elevators to go up the stairs, and realised there was only one hour left before daylight crept into the sky.  Was one hour enough to reveal to Arles the truth and be able to sleep at his side?  Would his sire kick him out knowing that Ben might not find a safe haven from the dawn\'s rays?

He found Arles in the bedroom of the penthouse, their bedroom, reading a book, and so he sat on the edge of the bed, not snuggling up to his other sire because he knew he stank of Kerr - what with being so close to him all night.

The best way to say it was to say it straight off, before his courage waned.

"I bumped into Kerr tonight," he began, a half truth, because he\'d bumped into Kerr last week, and had gone to visit him tonight, but Arles didn\'t know that.  "He\'s living on his own in the city."

There, it was out.  He\'d seen Kerr.  It was up to Arles to say something now.  Initially, Ben had spoken to the wall in front of him.  Now he turned to look at the platinum blonde to watch him for his reaction and response.

[Noctambule]

Arles was aware Ben was hiding something. He\'d told himself time and time again that really he didn\'t have a right to know of all of Ben\'s activities, fledgling or no. He wondered if it was too much supervision or complete lack of it that had driven his other fledglings away...or gotten them into trouble...and finally had appeased himself with the knowledge that Ben was smart and would find help if the situation required it.

But, even so, the blonde wondered. What Ben was doing and why he didn\'t think Arles could know of it. It hurt more than it should, more than Arles had promised himself it would. In the end children, whether born or made, had to choose for themselves. And oftentimes their choices didn\'t always match up with the heart\'s desire of others.

Arles glanced up from his book as Ben arrived home, listening to him move through the living room and come straight for him. Something on his mind then.

Dark eyes lifted and studied the fledgling as he sat on the bed. He had a purpose for being here. There was no smile and no usual move to come over and touch him. Ben was purposefully distancing himself.

The vampire sat up, if only because he didn\'t want to hear any bad news lying down, relaxed. He also put the book aside so his full attention was on what Ben was saying.

"I bumped into Kerr tonight," Ben said and suddenly Arles knew.

Where Ben had been, even if he claimed they\'d bumped into one another only tonight. What had been on his mind and why Arles had felt so distanced from him since then.

He really hadn\'t thought it would hurt, especially not so much because instantly his mind supplied him with the fact that now that obstacles were out of the way...Ben was going to be with Kerr.

"It\'s nice that he got out of what was apparently a bad situation for him," Arles answered calmly. He met Ben\'s gaze and simply stared at him. No emotion in the impossibly shadowed eyes and only a pleasant blandness  on his face.

"He wants you to live with him," Arles guessed quietly. "And you said yes."

[Trillian]

Arles\' response was remarkeably calm, but why shouldn\'t it be?  Ben had merely met and talked to his other sire, it didn\'t mean anything untoward or unnecessarily unpleasant.  Then the guess came his way and Ben was struck by it, horrified.

"No!"  he denied.  "He never offered anything like that, just that I could visit him."  Ben lowered his gaze.  "Besides, I already have a home.  He should be alone for a bit anyway, after being with... his family for so long, he has to get used to it."

This much was true, as far as Ben\'s opinion went.  Living with Kerr seemed a very distant thing, if not impossible.  With the way the two of them fought, he couldn\'t ever see them living together for very long, without one moving out in a huff.

Ben was turned to face Arles now, twisted in his seated position, silvery blue eyes on his sire\'s dark ones, in appeal.

[Noctambule]

Arles blinked at Ben once. Then again. It didn\'t process in his mind for a moment. "Then all of this build up...all of this secrecy and me knowing you were hiding something...all of it has been because you went to see Kerr?" Disbelief was evident in his tone, or perhaps that was astonishment.

Then, Arles started to laugh. Going to see Kerr (even without his circus of relatives) was probably one of the tamest scenerios that the older vampire had come up with when he\'d considered where his progeny was disappearing to. Realizing quickly that he probably looked at least half insane, Arles shook his head.

"It\'s just...I didn\'t know what in goddess\' name you were doing but just seeing Kerr..." He closed the distance between them, getting closer to Ben and looking at him levelly. "You are welcome to see Kerr at any time, no secrecy required. Hell, have him over here and tell me to entertain myself elsewhere for the night if you\'d like."

The blonde still didn\'t know what had transpired between them...or what Sawyl had shown Ben but it had worked out just as predicted, really, so it wasn\'t any of his business providing it didn\'t come back to bite him personally on the ass at a later date.

He groomed fingers through Ben\'s hair with a fond smile. He was obviously and guiltily relieved that Ben wasn\'t abandoning him just yet...though it did present the question of why Ben acted so guilty telling him something as simple as that he was spending time with Kerr.

The other\'s scent was all over Ben, really, when Arles considered it. More than casual contact with his furniture of with the man himself would cause. Tilting his head curiously, Arles stared at his fledgling and waited for him to go on if there was more to say.

[Trillian]

Ben felt utterly and suddenly foolish.  He\'d antagonised the situation with his secrecy, making a big deal out of nothing.  For it was nothing, wasn\'t it, nothing meaningful, with Kerr?

Guilt came to the fore, very soon after foolishness, then anger again, because it was easier to deal with.  Better to be angry at Kerr than guilty with Arles.

"I won\'t kick you out of your own home," Ben said after a moment, his voice soft and his tone adamant.  Arles was his friend, lover and sire.  There should be no justification for treating him shabbily, even if there was an invitation to do so.  "I can just visit him at his place," he said, and almost mentioned fixing his car.  The Dodge had burbled a dying breath on Arles driveway some weeks ago, before the Sawyl incident, but Arles didn\'t know it yet.  Ben was somehow embarrassed by it, but didn\'t know why, he simply was.

He\'d made himself more comfortable on the bed, tucking an ankle beneath a knee and holding onto his shin, to keep it in place, as well as leaning back on an elbow near Arles, liking the soft touches his sire always had for him.  It made him feel cherished and wanted, and he liked feeling wanted.

[Noctambule]

Arles hitched one shoulder in a shrug. "Don\'t feel like you\'d be taking over too much. It might be good for me not to spend all night here once in a while." He grinned. While Arles didn\'t go out every night he was still far from a hermit. And maybe he was a tiny bit tempted to play with fire...or at least watch it burn. He wanted to see how Ben and Kerr reacted to one another.

"I\'m glad you two worked things out," The blonde said instead of the million other things that drifted through his thoughts as to asking what had gone wrong between them and why Kerr had abandoned what was apparently his family.

He continued to preen the fledgling, relaxed though he truly had little reason to be at ease. "Whenever you want to visit...feel free. You live here too and I\'m sure you know basics about having company." The basics according to Arles\'s rules were pretty much about not burning the place to the ground and not damaging anything that couldn\'t be replaced.

Leaning over, he ignored the scent on Ben\'s skin and gave him an affectionate kiss next to his ear. "Feel better now?"

[Trillian]

After the turmoil that was Kerr, how could he not feel better with Arles, who was constant and warm.  Smiling, Ben said yes and reached up so he could touch the side of his face, stroking Arles\' cheek.

It was strange, when he was with Arles all they really did was hang out and cuddle.  Watching movies, lying next to one another and reading books, or just lying around like they were now.  They didn\'t really do anything, but it was still nice.  Whenever Ben tried prompting Arles for details about his past though, he usually got vague stories or a lot of glossed ones either because Arles didn\'t want to go into it or he didn\'t really remember anymore.  He\'d given up on talking about Arles\' past, and had moved on to discussing present things.

Now, he wanted to talk to somebody who wasn\'t likely to over-react, who wouldn\'t pull a stern face or push him to answer questions out of his own time.  He knew Arles could just listen, and any prompts for information were exactly that: prompts.  Because he wanted to talk, and because he was feeling relaxed and comfortable with Arles, he talked.

"What\'s it like for you to have a fledgling again?  I\'m trying not to crowd your space but, you\'re bound to feel me in your home.  Our home," he corrected belatedly.

[Noctambule]

Arles was still overly fascinated with grooming Ben. It was obvious he\'d lived alone frequently; his mind could be in entirely different places even when he was carrying on a conversation with someone else.

They were without active conflict, which was something unusual for Arles and any fledgling he\'d ever lived with. Possibly because neither of them actually had a horrid clash of personality. Ben had asked to be turned so Arles hadn\'t forced it upon him. And Arles had given Ben much more freedom than he normally offered.

He liked to think it was because he trusted Ben far more than the others but really it was simply because whatever courtship they\'d had was brief. Arles didn\'t have opportunity to get to the point of attachment that would cause uncontrollable amounts of jealousy.

"It\'s...odd," Arles admitted. He shifted to be more comfortable, making it so Ben could lean against him if he wished. "But I like not being alone...though when you have a fledgling and all you ever do is scream and throw things at each other being alone is often a lot less stressful."

Unfortunately, it happened far more often than Arles would like to claim. "I like it," He repeated. "It\'s nice to have you here. I probably should do more as your actual sire...but I think I\'m afraid of chasing you off."

[Trillian]

"What kind of things?" Ben asked, wondering what it was Arles wanted to do together.  So far the most time they spent together was in bed.  He was pleased with Arles response, that he was happy to have someone with him now, but he also felt guilty about having the same connection with Kerr and that he

wouldn\'t

couldn\'t give all his time to one sire (though Arles did get most of it, since Ben lived with him).

[Noctambule]

"Teaching you, mostly," Arles confessed. He still felt a bit bad that he wasn\'t doing so. Sure he was passing along practical advice and making sure Ben didn\'t get caught in the sun but there was only so much that could be transmitted through words.

Ben learned quickly and well by himself. No one had to explain most things to him and even the telepathy had come easily with a few basics. "I\'m sure you\'re capable of...say...disappearing to a mortal mind. Maybe floating. Maybe you\'re stronger than normal." Arles considered for a moment. "I can\'t guess what you can do...we\'ll have to figure it out then try to help you with it if it\'s something I can\'t do."

He ran fingers through Ben\'s hair once more then pulled his hand away before he got too caught up.

[Trillian]

"Everything else is harder than the mental stuff."  He thought about it for a moment.  "It might be because I think messages at people all the time.  Maybe I was getting all my practise then, when I wasn\'t able to send, and that\'s why I kinda foghorned at the beginning."  At least he\'d been able to slam himself shut, and was now tweaking his message sending.  He mmmm\'d at the touch of Arles\' fingers through his hair, relaxing in his sire\'s hold, then smiled gently up at him.  "You know how to turn invisible and float?"

[Noctambule]

Arles leaned back, sitting next to Ben and almost wrapping bodily around him simply because he could. It was comforting though it gave some solid evidence for Arles having a mostly physical relationship with this fledgling. Sure he\'d been lovers with others but never quite this fascinated by touching them. Then again they\'d always swatted at him or pulled away.

"Turn invisible? No one can really do that. It\'s just either moving quickly enough that mortals can\'t catch sight of you or making them lose a second of time for you to move..." It was difficult to really explain it. "I\'m....not too good at that. But floating I can do." Arles grinned. "Not that it\'s anything special. Probably more trouble to learn than it is worth."

[Trillian]

He settled into Arles\' hold, his hand wrapping around his sire\'s neck and resting his head on Arles\' collarbone.

Ben, who was sure there was another way by turning invisible (perhaps by mental manipulation) didn\'t argue, for Arles way would work well enough.  Ben had practised trying to move faster, for Kerr had told him it was one of the things vampires could \'naturally\' do, and he\'d even done it once to catch a wobbling vase at Arles house (because if he\'d moved normally, he wouldn\'t have been able to catch it) and it had seemed to fall in slow motion.  Apart from that once, however, he hadn\'t been able to - perhaps it was because he was trying too hard?

Floating, however

Levitating, Ben\'s mind insisted

was a different story altogether.  That was most certainly a trick of concentration.

"Show me," he urged.

[Noctambule]

Arles chuckled. "Eager, aren\'t we?" He teased in almost the same tone he used in an entirely different and more intimate situation. "It\'s really a pretty worthless thing to know. At least if it doesn\'t come naturally because by the time you concentrate enough to do it the danger will already be over."

He scooted away from Ben and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. Standing back he tried to find a place where he wouldn\'t bump into anything. He didn\'t want to waste a good deal of energy on it and control wasn\'t that important.

Dark eyes closed, Arles held entirely still for nearly a full minute. He focused entirely on ehwat he wanted to do, visualizing it and having full faith he was capable of it. Ben\'s presence was a low hum somewhere in the distance and very slowly, Arles lifted both feet off the ground.

He truly hadn\'t gained any height. It was just that none of him was touching the floor or any other surface at the moment. Then putting his feet down again he hovered about an inch off the floor.

Outside, some late-night beach goer yelled for a missing dog. Arles dropped back to the floor, landing on the balls of his feet. "Enough? I have to say I\'m rather bad at doing tricks without knowing what someone wants to see."

[Trillian]

Ben watched with an intensity that Arles could likely feel as well as see, and once his parlour trick had been performed, Ben tilted his head slightly, thinking about all the relevant skills that could come from that.  Arles could help him get to that stage, but like with every power, practise would make it grow.

"How long did it take you to learn that?  Did you have a teacher or did you figure it out yourself?  Have you been trying to get yourself higher, or get it done faster?  What if you pushed off the floor, or a chair or something, would you sink to where you were, or go higher?"

The questions were rapid-fire, shot at Arles in a way that bore no answering until Ben shut his mouth and waited for Arles to give him the information, which was now, with shiny blue eyes almost seeming to sparkle.  He was sitting and leaning forward, his hands on his knees, looking almost feverish for knowledge.  This was a Ben that Kerr had seen the first night they\'d met.