Author Topic: Runaway Train  (Read 3117 times)

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Offline Trillian

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Runaway Train
« on: June 19, 2007, 11:50:16 AM »
BEN ARRIVED back at Arles\' place, still fuming from what had transpired at Kerr\'s apartment, but now the pain was starting to hit him, squeezing his heart at the rejection he\'d received because of another man in Kerr\'s life.

Fuck them all!  Fuck everything and everyone! Fuck being polite and holding it in and sleeping with someone he didn\'t love and not sleeping with someone he did.  Fuck all the pain that came with Kerr and the detachment that came with Arles.  Fuck Ichabod, fuck him for asking Kerr if he could stay.  Fuck Lazarus for giving Ichabod to Kerr.  Fuck the Oligarchy who had let Ichabod be a gift.  Fuck them in the first place for making him Declan\'s pet when he didn\'t want to be.  Fuck Declan for scarring him and manipulating him so much that Ben didn\'t know what and who to trust anymore.  And himself, he could go fuck himself, for letting them all tug at his emotions until there was nothing left but anger.

He\'d intended on fixing everything, on letting down his guard, lowering his defenses and putting all his trust in one man, only to be scalded, burned, cut, hung out to dry, whatever other saying there was for feeling this empty and sore.

He glanced at his car sitting in the parking space, unable to drive it because he\'d been saving up to fix it.  He hadn\'t wanted Arles charity.  In a way, it was a blessing, because he\'d started stealing from his victims, a ten here, a twenty there, in order to gain some money for the mechanical problem.  He had a little over a couple of hundred dollars, and now that could be his bond money for a place of his own.  So, his one prized possession would now be lost.

Clothes, he needed his suitcase of clothing, so that he could at least survive a week without having to do laundry.  Arles had bought him some things, but he would leave that behind (except the underwear and socks).  He was worried about meeting his sire in the apartment when he went in, but he sensed Arles wasn\'t in - though he could feel him close by.  Returning perhaps?  Maybe going, if he was lucky.

He\'d prefer to leave a note, something short and simple.  \'I\'m moving out, I\'ll catch up with you later.\'  That would be perfect.  He had his suitcase out and was hurriedly folding his clothes, dumping them inside when he felt Arles in the apartment.  Now he was throwing socks inside, very close to finishing packing, except he needed his toiletries and stuff.  He\'d prefer to take as much as possible that belonged to him, as it wouldn\'t eat so much into his finances otherwise.  Checking the pair of socks that he had his cash bundled into and finding it, he shoved it into the suitcase and closed it, just as Arles appeared in the doorway.

He would find Ben with the suitcase before him on the bed, throwing him a guilty look.

"I\'m moving out," he said, stating the obvious, before Arles could ask him the redundant question of \'what are you doing?\'
INFUSCO : Ben : Hugh : Lan Bao : Mick : Todd : Vincent : Win :
HALFLIGHT : Graille Min Sayer :

Noctambule

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Re: Runaway Train
« Reply #1 on: June 20, 2007, 07:40:02 AM »
No one had ever claimed that life was fair. In fact, it had been proved to Arles on numerous occassions and in numerous ways that life (whether living or technically dead) was hideously unfair. Any good things could only last so long but terrible things could just keep happening. For eternity, if you had that long.

It had all been going horribly wrong lately. Arles\'s proof that he could do everything right for a change and still blow everything to hell with one little move. Well...not little...but at the same time it had been an accident and he still felt horrible about it.

Ben had gone to see Kerr. So Arles went out as well. He walked along the beach and thought, simply trying to unwind. He liked the quiet that was not complete silence and he liked that no matter what was happening, the view here was unchanged.

The blonde wandered up to the streets and fed, pretty much wasting time until he felt mellow enough to go back home. He\'d been more and more restless (understandably so for him) and it was beginning to fray his nerves. If he stayed inside he could drop a pen and jump about a foot.

Instinct told him Ben was home when he arrived. Good. They needed to talk because Arles couldn\'t skirt around the issue for much longer without going insane.

However as he went to the door he noticed Ben was packing. Everything. Any words died on his lips because it was obvious what was going on but when Ben said it, Arles couldn\'t even speak.

He paused, staring blankly at the fledgling then at the suitcase. Instead,  he finally asked the only question that came to mind. "Why?"

Arles told himself he couldn\'t lock Ben in his room because that would only make things worse. He couldn\'t force Ben to stay if he didn\'t want to stay...but he wished he wanted to.

Offline Trillian

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Re: Runaway Train
« Reply #2 on: June 20, 2007, 05:54:45 PM »
"I\'m in the middle," Ben said, then realised this wasn\'t a good enough explanation.  "I... I never meant to stay with you so long in the first place.  When we made our agreement."  Ben felt like an asshole, not telling Arles the whole truth and going back to that ridiculous agreement that had supposed to be in effect when they were platonic anyway.  Things changed with sex, and that was why he was leaving.  "I need my own space."  This last was true enough.  He needed to get away from both Kerr and Arles, to live on his own.  He\'d actually never lived on his own before; first it was his family, then it was room-mates (and a variety of them, as well), then Declan, then being homeless (which wasn\'t like living on his own), then Arles.

He needed a place to live that he could be himself, to have his own freedom and responsibilities, to find out what surviving on his own would be like, because for most of eternity, he would be alone.  He had to be happy with himself, before he could be happy with others.
INFUSCO : Ben : Hugh : Lan Bao : Mick : Todd : Vincent : Win :
HALFLIGHT : Graille Min Sayer :

Noctambule

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Re: Runaway Train
« Reply #3 on: June 21, 2007, 11:42:55 AM »
Arles stared some more. He was trying to grasp why Ben would feel in the middle. He wasn\'t making Ben choose between himself and Kerr...was Kerr doing it? But that seemed unlikely as well. More probable was the notion that Ben felt torn. Which was entirely understandable...although still painful when this was the only solution the fledgling could find.

"You know most fledglings stay with their sire for...years. To learn and to...stay protected." It was easy to pick off a fledgling; Arles knew it from experience.

Realizing how it sounded (how he felt, probably), he added "But if that\'s what you want."

It had come down to that. What Ben wanted. Arles had tried not standing in his way, not putting limits on him...and he was leaving far faster than any of the others had. Maybe it was his previous exposure to the world of the supernatural. Maybe it had been having two sires rather than one and therefore being dependant on neither.

Arles understood needing space and time to be alone. He just couldn\'t understand why Ben would want to go some place completely new.

The vampire reached for his wallet, fishing out two hundreds...which was pretty much all the cash he had on him. It wouldn\'t stretch too far but it would help if Ben was out on his own. Or was he moving in with Kerr?

Not wanting to simply hand it to him, Arles moved beside Ben and undid the latch to the suitcase, sliding it inside where Ben wouldn\'t find it unless he unpacked everything. Obviously the fledgling would know he\'d put something there, probably even currency, but Arles had concealed the value of it.

"Don\'t be a stranger."

Offline Trillian

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Re: Runaway Train
« Reply #4 on: June 21, 2007, 05:52:34 PM »
Stay with their sire for years?  So which sire should he stay with?  Not Kerr - not now, but Arles\' companionship hadn\'t been unwanted.  Thing was, it was confusing, and Ben was tired of being confused.  Arles he loved, and he thought the vampire deserved better.  He would visit Arles, and it had nothing to do with the fact his blonde sire stuffed something into his suitcase.  Ben guessed correctly that it was money, and he figured it would be a fairly good amount, and even though he\'d told Kerr that he wasn\'t going to accept Arles\' financial help, it seemed cruel and stupid to reject it now for rejection\'s sake.  Still, he wouldn\'t ask for more.

"Thank you," he said, sounding choked up before he threw his arms around Arles.  "Thank you for making everything as easy for me as possible."  Ironically, Arles had made it easier for Ben to leave him after biting him painfully those few nights ago.  Ben forgave him it, but it had still given him a stronger desire to get away.
INFUSCO : Ben : Hugh : Lan Bao : Mick : Todd : Vincent : Win :
HALFLIGHT : Graille Min Sayer :

Noctambule

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Re: Runaway Train
« Reply #5 on: June 22, 2007, 10:34:33 AM »
Arles had been torn between this method of coping...and another. The other had involved much screaming and probably wouldn\'t have worked...or made things any easier on either of them. The blonde had established that Ben did need time to sort things out. He\'d anticipated he would still live there while doing it but...

The half hug caught him by surprise and Arles\'s arms closed around Ben easily. He still had to refrain from holding the fledgling too tightly or showing exactly how in want he was...biting his lip before he insisted that Ben stay or did something awkward for them both like beg.

He was being thanked for something he was resentful of doing. But he didn\'t want a screaming, knock down fight with Ben over this. It would change nothing and then they would both be even more miserable...

Or was it just him? Looking at Ben, Arles couldn\'t quite believe he was miserable. Confused, yes, but not much of anything else. "Be careful."

Offline Trillian

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Re: Runaway Train
« Reply #6 on: June 22, 2007, 05:55:29 PM »
Ben let the embrace continue even past the warning Arles gave him, offering a muffled \'I will\' before finally pulling away and turning away to fiddle with his suitcase.  He made sure it was shut properly before he lifted it off the bed - heavier than when he\'d first come here, but now he didn\'t struggle with it because he was no longer mortal.

Bye, he thought, but didn\'t say, then made himself give a better farewell.

"See you."  He would make sure he did, for he cared about Arles a great deal, and felt like the blonde had received the short straw, despite having Ben in his bed.
INFUSCO : Ben : Hugh : Lan Bao : Mick : Todd : Vincent : Win :
HALFLIGHT : Graille Min Sayer :

Noctambule

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Re: Runaway Train
« Reply #7 on: June 23, 2007, 02:17:15 PM »
Arles was still watching, feeling rather like he was in the audience to a film or a play. His lines were not needed and no matter what he wanted Ben to say, the script was already written.

"You have a key," Arles said and it wasn\'t a question. He\'d given Ben the key himself but if he\'d taken it...that was unspoken. "Keep it," He added just in case Ben assumed to worset. "Keep it with you," The vampire elaborated. Because if things went bad quickly he wanted Ben to have somewhere to run to.

He stepped aside so Ben wouldn\'t have to push past him, blank and observing as this played out. End of act one and he could wonder what was going to happen next during the intermission.

Offline Trillian

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Re: Runaway Train
« Reply #8 on: June 24, 2007, 12:18:39 AM »
Ben nodded his response.  The key was safe, but he wouldn\'t just barge in without knocking, for the last time he\'d used a key to let himself in (at Kerr\'s place) hadn\'t yielded good results, and he was uncomfortable with the thought that it might happen twice.

When Arles moved to one side, Ben took that as his cue to move past him, and for the front door.  Once he got there, however, he looked back at his sire, offered a light smile that didn\'t reach his eyes, and opened the door.

"I\'ll let you know where I settle in," he said, "once I\'m, you know... settled in," he finished lamely.
INFUSCO : Ben : Hugh : Lan Bao : Mick : Todd : Vincent : Win :
HALFLIGHT : Graille Min Sayer :

Noctambule

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Re: Runaway Train
« Reply #9 on: June 26, 2007, 12:27:08 PM »
Arles couldn\'t help but smile at the awkward words. It was...slightly endearing. Still relieving to hear that Ben wouldn\'t simply disappear. Arles wasn\'t sure he could stand another person who he once had been so close to simply never being heard from again. There was too much to wonder after that. If the fledgling was alright or miserable or needed help...

He shook those thoughts away. Ben wouldn\'t go far, surely, and he did say he would keep in contact. "If you ever need anything..." But he\'d already been attempting to tell Ben those things. Ben knew where Arles would be and that he was willing to help however he could.

The blonde took a few steps forward, taking hold of the door to shut it behind the fledgling and giving him a light kiss on the forehead. "Behave yourself."

Offline Trillian

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Re: Runaway Train
« Reply #10 on: June 27, 2007, 05:50:22 AM »
Ben smiled at the kiss and nodded at Arles\' words, turning and moving out of the apartment, heading down the stairs and then was out on the pavement before he looked back.

It was a bit like leaving home again, for Arles\' place had felt like home - more than anywhere else had, save his parent\'s house.  He turned to walk down the street, moving past the bus stop because he didn\'t feel like stopping on this particular street.  He made three blocks on his own before he did finally stop, and only because a bus was pulling up just as he reached the designated stop.  Paying his two dollars, Ben chose an empty seat randomly in the middle of the bus and watched the streets whizz by before getting off on the north-east side of town, where the hotel rooms and apartments were smaller, but cheaper.
INFUSCO : Ben : Hugh : Lan Bao : Mick : Todd : Vincent : Win :
HALFLIGHT : Graille Min Sayer :