Best Laid Plans

[pinkroses]

Ichabod glanced back at Ben as he pulled on his shoes, stumbling a little in his haste to get them on quickly, but he slowed down a little at Ben’s words and when he saw that the blonde wasn’t trying to stop him from leaving.

“Why not? You want me all for yourself?” he said with a scowl. He hadn’t intended on letting anyone feed from him, not after everything that had happened, but a small, rebellious side of him was tempted to go to Risk simply because Ben didn’t want him to. “I’m not your fucking pet,” he added, watching Ben picking up the towel he‘d left behind. He didn’t want to be that to anyone again, he hadn’t even wanted to be that to Lazarus, it had just happened. But Ben had no right to be telling him what not to do and after the way he’d been treating him Ichabod really wasn’t too inclined to do as he ordered.

[Trillian]

"You\'re not my pet," Ben agreed, not thinking of Ichabod as such either, but he felt best to clarify why he\'d said what he had.  "I\'ll be drinking from you when I get back.  If you want to go to Risk in the meantime, I guess that\'s your choice, but if you want to be sensible and keep your health up, I\'d recommend that."

He looked evenly at Ichabod near the door, holding the damp towel that had been around the mortal\'s shoulders and talking to him like a parent would to a wayward child, with reason, a little frustration and somewhat patronising - for he knew what was best for Ichabod and also knew that the other might do something stupid to spite him.

[pinkroses]

He hated how Ben made himself sound so reasonable and sensible, it always made Ichabod feel about an inch high, but he wasn’t in the wrong here. It was Ben… so how did he come up with such sensible suggestions? His stomach had plummeted when Ben said so smoothly that he would be drinking from him when he returned and Ichabod couldn’t help but shake his head a little, although what choice did he have? Ben would just turn up, force himself on him, Ichabod couldn’t fight him, he couldn’t stop him.

“When are you coming back?” he asked, lowering his glare to the floor. He wanted to know when to expect Ben to turn up again, although knowing vampires it would probably be completely unexpected and could be any time.

[Trillian]

Ben thought it over.

"You\'ll have at least two weeks, but I might give you a longer break than that," he said, thinking on how he might be in Europe longer, and might not want to go visit Ichabod right away anyhow.  "Might be a month or more."  He watched the mortal closely when he said the latter, and moved around the sofa on his way to the bathroom, but he wasn\'t about to disappear from sight until Ichabod was out the front door.

[pinkroses]

A month or more? Ben’s reply was both good and bad in Ichabod opinion. He hadn’t given a definite answer, Ichabod was going to be tense and worried about when he might show up until he did, which could mean weeks of feeling on the edge of his nerves,  waiting to see whether Ben would or would not turn up. And it meant two weeks or longer of Kerr not being here, that long to give Mandy the chance to find a sire and become one of them.

His feet shuffled on the floor for a moment before Ichabod gave a small nod, a distinctly worried look on his face as he glanced up at Ben. “Right,” he said, then turned and pulled open the door, leaving the apartment and pulling it shut behind him without further comment. He pushed the button for the elevator and leant against the wall as he waited for it to arrive, breathing heavily. It would be two weeks or more until he saw Ben again and unless Kerr called them it wouldn’t be until then that he knew whether or not he was alright… although if Mandy went back to Sawyl then he guessed he would know whether or not his attempt had been successful.

When he finally heard the doors ping open Ichabod quickly walked inside, happy to get away from Ben, but not looking forward to going back to Mandy and facing her again.

[Trillian]

When Ichabod left the apartment, closing the door behind him, Ben put the towel in the laundry hamper after folding it and then went to the door to lock it shut.  He hoped Kerr wouldn\'t be too far away, and busied himself with tidying up, then straightening up, then re-straightening what he\'d straightened before to kill some more time.  He paced the apartment for a bit and when he heard footsteps in the corridor (because he\'d been listening), he perked up until he realised the rhythm of the steps wasn\'t right, and listened as their one next-door-neighbour (arriving home very late) let himself into the apartment further down the corridor with a light jingle of keys.

Hearing a mortal suddenly made him so ravenous that bloodlust began thumping in his ears.  It was funny how he\'d managed to squash it because of his tension, but that brief moment of mistaken relief that Kerr had come home had awakened another expectation in him.  To feed.

Ben lunged out of the apartment into the corridor, thrumming with nervous energy and cravings.  The door that belonged to the other apartment closed just as he\'d come out, and perhaps just as well because he would likely have fed too close to home.  He made himself take the stairs down instead of the lift, almost running down them, tying up his mind with the effort of having to move down flights of stairs.  He\'d never been able to tap into his celerity before, but he did it now without thinking, operating on instinct, just a blur as he progressed down the stairs and used the heavy stairs door to let himself out the side of the building, where the door closed and locked behind him as he spilled out into an alley.

He couldn\'t remember too much else after that, only getting wet as he ran away from the block the building was on and moving closer to where the quieter part of the streets were, where sometimes there were girls standing around at the mouth of an alley, and if someone were to walk further in, there were boys.  For once, he went past them all, and found a homeless man curled up near a dumpster.  There were others as well, but the smell on this guy was cleaner than the rest - no alcohol, no drugs, just a fellow on the down and out because he couldn\'t get a job.  Ben knelt down and was muttered at before he drank.  After a decent amount that would have the guy somewhat dazed and limp - but not dying - Ben pulled away and was sensible enough now in his selection of another.  A girl at a bus stop who\'d fallen asleep while waiting for a bus.  It was easy pickings for she was sedated by the bite by the time she woke up.  He talked to her for a bit afterwards, until she had the impression that he\'d been cheeky enough to kiss her and he knew he was okay about the charade when she handed him her number, thinking he was interested in more.

Coming home he hoped for Kerr but returned to an empty apartment, had another shower to warm himself up and had put on a pair of shorts while he towelled his hair, then sat down and waited, staring at the door and listening for the elevator.

Kerr arrived twenty minutes after that, and even as Ben went to the door to open it up for him, he recognised that there was something wrong about his step - though the sensation of his sire arriving was too dominating to miss.  When he opened the door and saw Kerr\'s state his expression crumpled as though about to cry, though the tears didn\'t come and he slammed into Kerr instead, embracing him, wondering what horrible things his sire had gone through at the hands of that little piece of shit named Sawyl.

[Existentially Odd]

(After interlude: \'Reluctant Allies\')

Kerr wasn\'t quick enough to look up from the keys he was staring intently at before he was hugged, but it was a relief.  "Ben," he sighed huskily, sagging against his beloved and giving up on needing to find the apartment key.  Standing upright had been the thing that was taking all of his concentration and willpower up \'til that point, it could have been half an hour before he\'d found the right key to let himself in.

The drive home had been horrific, to say the least.  Leaving the mansion, he\'d realised that he actually wasn\'t too stable in the driving department but, because there wasn\'t a huge amount of traffic around in the suburbs, he was able to take it steadily and avoid problems.  When he headed for the city, however, that changed and he began the stop and start dance that had eventually got him home; whenever he saw lights, he pulled over to the curb and switched on his hazards.

He\'d hit the gutter more than once in this way - and rear-ended a parked car that he hadn\'t seen until too late - but, apart from some scraped tyres, fenders and bumpers, he and the car were alright (there\'d been a couple of breathtaking screeches of tyres behind him and some deafening horn-blowing that had shredded his already-frayed nerves of course, but nothing had come of any of it... luckily).  He\'d been ready to give up once his trip entered its second hour and he\'d called home to have Ben come rescue him, but no answer told him that he\'d simply have to persevere, so he had.

"God, I missed you, I love you so much," he crooned, finally having the wherewithal to squeeze his arms - which had been pinned by the embrace - around Ben\'s middle and hug him back.  His words were slightly slurred by exhaustion and relief, his smile dopey, his hair wildly untidy from him anxiously running his hands through it so much.  He couldn\'t tell if his sudden reliance upon his lover to support him caused the fledgling to stumble at all, for he was too unbalanced internally as it was - everything was always shifting, now that he\'d stood up - but he was inexpressably grateful for the support.

"I got... no... I\'m dizzy," he confessed solemnly, his accent thick in his weakened state, "\'nd\'I think I need t\'feed t\'set m\'self t\'rights but... erm... I can barely hear or see anyt\'ing, so I\'ll need you to... help me."  His eyes were closed as he rested his chin on Ben\'s shoulder, feeling soothed by his presence and awash with love but still... erratic.

If he fed from a mortal right now, the talents inside him that he\'d nurtured for four centuries would do him no good, for he was reduced to a very basic level, worse even than a fledgling, for his senses were cut off and not functioning normally.  He felt imbecilic and helpless, unable to even secure his own sustenance due to his reduced state; it was the first time in a long time he\'d been this vulnerable and although he was glad it happened in front of Ben, he hated that it was happening at all.  He was used to being in control, the sire, the one in charge; yes, he hated this sudden role reversal passionately.

[Trillian]

Feeling helpless because he didn\'t know what Kerr had gone through and thinking that the meeting with Sawyl had obviously gone badly just because of that interfering bitch, Ben did all that he could for Kerr, using his anger to focus himself to getting his sire into the apartment and helping him to the sofa because he didn\'t think he\'d make the bedroom.  He struggled, but he managed, and soon Kerr was upon the cushioned seat.  He\'d heard himself speaking to Kerr all the way, but didn\'t really know what he was saying.  Announcements of his love in return perhaps, soothing words that Kerr would be okay and all would eventually be well.  He was a vampire, right?  He\'d heal, Ben hoped.

"Want me to get someone here for you?" he asked once Kerr had been flopped onto the chair.  He was annoyed that they didn\'t have blood bags handy, and that would change soon in case of emergencies such as this and the one Ben had himself earlier tonight.  "Risk is a quick drive," he told Kerr, thinking that twenty minutes there and back and maybe another ten or twenty finding someone appropriate at the nightclub wouldn\'t be too bad a wait, though he was loathe to leave Kerr he understood that blood would heal him.

[Existentially Odd]

"I can\'t drive again!" Kerr said immediately, and enthusiastically... then realised Ben likely meant that he\'d drive and felt foolish.  He laughed self deprecatingly.  "Wait... you\'d drive, right?"  He apologised when he received an answer in the affirmative.

"Sorry... \'m\'a bit slow right now.  Oh!" he exclaimed, sitting up a little straighter and beaming at Ben.  "It\'s all fine, by the way.  He won\'t do it," he explained, belatedly realising that he\'d yet to tell his love that his mission had been successful.

Of course, with little drops of dried up blood in his ears and beneath his nose, bedraggled hair and an inside-out, back-to-front T-shirt happening, Kerr hardly looked the picture of success, except for his smile.  His words were possibly a little cryptic, too, but he knew what he meant and expected Ben would know as well.

[Trillian]

Ben stared at Kerr for a long moment, taking in his state, not smelling the blood because it had dried and his emotions weren\'t permitting him to notice small things - though he could see it easily enough.  His heart ached in his chest that Kerr had obviously gone through something horrible at the hands of the pint-sized demon, and that he\'d done it just to keep their union solid.  If Ben had ever felt threatened by Mandy (and he had), he didn\'t anymore.

"I\'ll bring someone back for you," he said softly, "to help you heal.  I won\'t be long, I promise," he declared, having knelt by Kerr on the sofa and touching his chest, fingers absently playing with the tag and then looking at Kerr\'s eyes and glad that at least he wasn\'t cross-eyed or anything.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr blinked, surprised by the change of plans because he\'d been gearing himself up for a trip to Risk, thinking that the problem with his equilibrium was getting better insofar as it wasn\'t constant now, he had minutes of respite, which he could wait for before he walked into the club.  Risk had also seemed a good idea to him because he could safely drink from a glass but a donor... could cause issues.

Still, he trusted Ben to make the decisions right now, considering he was still fogged up - if he was a younger vampire, he might remember better what an intense head cold felt like and be able to describe his condition thus, but he wasn\'t and so he merely felt reduced on all fronts, wishing it would stop.  He was confident it would with some fresh blood in his system to aid the healing process.

"Okay," he agreed mildly, liking the comfort of the couch anyway and slouching against the back of it, since his ass was quite a ways forward on the seat.  He lifted his feet, the right absently attempting to remove the shoe on the left with little immediate success while he continued talking and gazing lovingly up at Ben.  "I\'ll wait right here," he promised solemnly, "and I\'ll tell you about everything when you come back."

He pulled a face briefly, his expression becoming a wince that likely told Ben he wouldn\'t like all of what he had to say - and that was exactly what he was openly thinking in his overworked mind - but knowing he needed to delay the telling of it.

He\'d muddle it up if he tried to talk now, anyway; he was having enough trouble focussing on getting his shoes off... and there was something annoying tickling his chin that he would be getting rid of next (Ben would return to find Kerr had taken his white shirt off and thrown it nonchalantly towards the dining area, in fact).  He had enough to occupy him for the time being without trying to explain the nuances of his meeting with Sawyl in a way that made Ben appreciate the fact that he\'d had no choice but to agree to his terms.

[Trillian]

Ben never made it to Risk.  He\'d bypassed the highway because so late at night the main streets of the city were relatively quick to go through, so there was no point to drive his car all the way out to the onramp just to travel in a vague direction to his intended one.  On the way there, on the brink of the industrial area, five minutes from Risk, he noticed a building with a light on, and a big glass shop window to see through.

He ended up pulling over, doing a wide U-turn that took up the whole road (because the turning circle of his Ford wasn\'t really so great) and came back to idle in front of the building again.  It was a butchers, and inside was either a vampire or a goth.  He\'d always wondered where Kerr had got his blood bags from and now he figured that he\'d found a supplier.

Once inside, he was disappointed to find that the customer was actually a goth, obviously human, but not dressed the goth way.  He waited a bit behind him and leaning against the wall, attracting a few stares from the very pale brunette near the counter before he finally turned back to speak with the butcher who came out from the back room.

Ben felt suddenly relieved.  It wasn\'t the customer who was a vampire, it was the proprieter himself - obviously why he was open at night.  After a short conversation between the not-quite-goth and the butcher, Ben realised that the man had been sent here on an errand to pick up someone.  Obviously he was a pet then, or a vampire\'s servant or something like that.  Were they called Familiars?  Whatever the term was, Ben felt he understood now.

He was questioned for his order next, so made his order straightforward.  Blood.  Bags of blood.  He was asked if there was a preference of animal, and Ben shrugged.  Obviously sensing the fledgling vampirism in Ben (and perhaps the odd light of his iridescent blue eyes had made things easier to identify him), the butcher helpfully supplied him the information that pig\'s blood was a little more expensive because it had a better quality to it.  Ben
 agreed to buy a dozen, which were put into a box for him to carry out.  It cost thirty dollars - a six dollar discount because he\'d bought so many at once.  Ben paid him, thanked him, and ran from the shop to his car with the carton in hand, so it wouldn\'t get wet, placing it in the back seat.

The drive home to Kerr was just as anxious as the drive away from his sire, for he worried how Kerr was faring.  The return to his apartment laden with the cardboard box filled with a dozen bloodbags (all cold, but Ben didn\'t think it would matter too much), was a lot better, upon seeing Kerr on the sofa and partially undressed.  The sight of the tattoo on his chest made Ben\'s heart pang in pain, that he hadn\'t been nicer to Kerr about it.  Of course it pleased him, but he\'d been ungrateful to Kerr and rather petulant the night he\'d been shown.

"I love you," he blurted out when he lay the box down on the coffee table and pulled out one of the bags to hand over to Kerr.  He\'d noticed, when looking at them, that the bags actually came with a little pipe attached to it, which when untaped, could release the contents - very much like a straw.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr chuckled warmly and took the proffered bag with a besotted smile.  "I won\'t ever get tired of hearing you say that," he told Ben happily, then he dropped a playful wink.  "You read my mind," he said, before turning his attention to the bag in his hand.  He\'d reached a nice state of staus quo where things weren\'t spinning very much and certainly not often at all - aided by the fact that he hadn\'t moved since he\'d sat down - so he could see the thing just fine, but it didn\'t look like the usual bags he bought.

With a slight frown of interest, he detached the little outlet and put it in his mouth.  Instinct took over and he drew voraciously on the bag, consuming the blood in record time and exchanging the empty one for a full when Ben held it out.  By the third one, the blood had begun to do its healing job and he was able to taste properly.  He realised that something was awry but couldn\'t place it, though he finished the third bag with a wrinkled nose, licking his lips thoughtfully.

"What... sort of blood is that?" he asked, frowning and pulling some more faces.  He\'d decided that the blood wasn\'t bad, per se, just... that it was different somehow and he wasn\'t sure whether it was something that had additives of some sort in it or whether it was a different type altogether.  It was certainly nothing he\'d ever tasted before.  When told it was pig\'s blood, his eyes sprang open widely and his face froze in a disgusted expression.  He chose not to speak immediately, for he couldn\'t trust that what he instinctively wanted to say would be polite, and blinked as he took the time to smooth his expression back to one of surprise.

"Well... that\'s different.  I\'ve never had animal blood before," he declared conversationally, trying not to imagine himself cosying up to a pig to drink from its neck and avoiding all the mud and those bristly hairs they had... his imagination gallivanted a bit anyway, unfortunately.  "I know some vampires swear by it, though," he considered, sitting up and placing his third empty bag on the coffee table - surprised to see so many more full bags in the cardboard box still - and then resting his hands on the cushions either side of his ass in order to slide himself back onto the couch properly.  He tilted his head from side to side cautiously once in place, pleased with the results.  "It obviously works, though."

He sounded surprised, because he was.  The idea of non-human blood turned his stomach if he thought about it too hard, but his system obviously didn\'t mind.  Blood was blood and it had healed the distortions Sawyl had left in his mind, despite being porcine in nature.

Noticing the way Ben was looking at him, he gave a reassuring smile and reached for him with open arms, fingers beckoning in such a way that they indicated he wanted Ben to crawl into his lap or at least come within hugging distance.  "C\'mere," he instructed, feeling much better now that time had passed and he\'d consumed enough blood to heal everything that his system hadn\'t been able to get to on its own, without that extra boost.  "You look worried; you worry too much, everything\'s fine," he murmured, waiting to see what his lover would do before he began explaining exactly why he shouldn\'t be concerned.

Before living with him, he\'d never have taken Ben for such a chronic worrier, he\'d always seemed so together.  Now that he knew him better, he was beginning to see that that stoic exterior was actually a cover for a being far softer and less confident within.  He loved that about him.

[Trillian]

Ben went to him upon request, sitting on the sofa instead of upon Kerr regardless of how he might be tugged at, then lifting and bending his knees over his sire\'s lap instead, hugging him from the side and resting his head on Kerr\'s shoulder.

"Did he agree not to?" Ben asked after a long moment passed, allowing himself to relax in Kerr\'s hold and not wanting to ruin their time with a question that was going to bring back a painful memory.  After a while his curiosity was rampant and he had to know, and he justified to himself that Kerr was his normal self again and would be able to face the fresh memory and relay it to his fledgling.

[Existentially Odd]

Kerr smiled and turned his body slightly, so that he was cuddling Ben and resting his cheek upon the top of his head.  "Yes, it went very well, in fact," he murmured, and began recounting everything that had happened from the moment he arrived at the mansion - even the cat\'s remains outside.  He detailed the way he spoke with all three of them first, then was taken into his old room and questioned about his tattoo first of all.

It was somewhat embarrassing for him to recount Sawyl wanting to know details about their relationship, especially after he\'d confessed to craving Ben so desperately upon walking into his old room, but he got through it easily enough.  He was obviously effected by the recount of why Sawyl had chosen him to sire, but was clear about pointing out that it was part of his greater plan in suckering Kerr into agreeing to his terms a few moments afterward - for Kerr had realised how he\'d been cleverly manipulated.

"He was wily, as usual.  I should\'ve seen it coming, but he made valid points... and then he said that he\'d not sire Mandy on two stipulations that he believed were equal to what he was giving up.  The second was that I owed him an unnamed favour at some point in the future; the first was that you and I should... go and visit with them when we come back, on a regular basis.  About... once a month?" he said, his voice raising because he was more or less asking for Ben\'s approval, even though it was a done deal.  He lifted his head and looked down towards his love cautiously, expecting quite a large reaction.