Arrangements for the Dead

[Existentially Odd]

(Continued from \'Losing Touch\')

Once outside the manor\'s gates, Lam turned to look down at Rico, her gaze guarded but not aggressive.  She\'d only just realised that she would be travelling around alone with him for a while, the goal having been her only focus until that point but now... it became abundantly clear to her that it would be just them.  She wasn\'t sure how she felt about that but hoped that conversation would be kept to a minimum.

"I have to go to the guardhouse before we head anywhere, if you don\'t mind?" she asked hopefully.  "I\'m supposed to start my shift in half an hour or so and they need to know that I\'m not coming in today.  Assuming one of the other lieutenants can stay, it should be fine," she explained, clearing her throat somewhat awkwardly.  She wasn\'t sure why she was telling Rico her every thought but she was very aware of his presence and it felt necessary.  She waited for him to respond before she started walking anywhere.

[Kysis]

Rico had managed to find a jacket before they left, this piece actually black (which felt more appropriate), and now his hands were shoved into the pockets, gaze watching the ground as they walked.  When she spoke, he jumped a little.  Ever since they left the manor, Rico had been on edge.  It had just hit him, as well, that he would have to be with the woman who stole Kysis from him.  If that wasn\'t bad enough, now she was talking to him?  Oh dear.  This day was going to be worse than he had expected.

"Understandable."  That was the only responce he gave, shivering a little, pulling his coat a little tighter.  Despite the time he had spent in Oberon so far, he was not used to the cold, not at all.  For a moment he looked up, glancing over at the Captain before surveying their path. "Lead on."

He did not know the roads all that well yet.  Yes, he had already paid a trip to the cemetary at Alia\'s request, but he did not remember the way, nor did he remember the way to the guardhouse, which he would rather avoid than ever go near, for already obvious reasons.  When the Captain was no longer the Captain, Rico would not have as much of a problem with the place, but he had no idea of when that might be coming.  That occurance also meant that she would be around the manor more, his workplace and abode.

Perhaps he would take to working in the shop more....

Those thoughts carried him well for now, and kept him from saying anything cruel.  Rico was still subdued by the freshness of Alia\'s death.  It hadn\'t been long ago when they were last talking to one another.... Perhaps he should keep his mind centered on his hatred for the woman he had to spend the day with.  That would make the sting of Alia\'s absense less noticeable.

[Existentially Odd]

His subservience was quite disconcerting but she gave a brief acknowledging nod and then continued on her way, walking the cold streets automatically.  She tried not to think too hard on the fact that she was keeping company with the  man who\'d as good as told her he was more satisfying in bed for her fiancé than she was... but it crawled beneath her skin and rankled at her regardless.

It was a definite relief to walk into the guardhouse, the familiar feel of the place washing through her.  She greeted the guards at the front desk, saluting back when they snapped to attention and yelled their morning greetings.  She did love recruits.  Holding the counter top up for Rico to follow through after her, she tried not to notice his reaction to the noise, figuring he likely wouldn\'t approve.

"We\'ll go upstairs and see who\'s on deck.  Hopefully they can hold the fort until someone comes in," she said witha perfunctory nod in Rico\'s direction, again cursing herself for sharing her thoughts with him.  He looked ready to stab her every time she spoke to him (or so it seemed).  Letting the counter top fall, she took the stairs up towards her office three at a time, finding there were two lieutenants at the paired desks in the officer\'s area.  She spoke to the pair of them, informing them that the Lord Liari\'s sister had died the night before and she was going to be busy making arrangements for the girl.  They eyed her off with some surrise - not missing the ring now proudly displayed on her finger - but also not questioning her.

Lieutenant Montgomery hadn\'t been on shift very long and volunteered to take over, though he seemed disturbingly relieved to hear that Freddy would be in soon anyway, to meet with Kysis; he was altogether too nervy for Lam\'s liking, but away from her, his confidence was far greater and so she couldn\'t fault his workings with his men.  It was something.

After looking around her desk to see if anything important was there needing her attention, she tidied it so that Freddy would be comfortable sitting there... with Kysis.  She sighed, pondering that meeting and hoping it would go okay as she walked downstairs, her silent companion following obediently.  He\'d attracted a few curious glances from the lieutenants but she\'d not deigned to offer an explanation as to his presence.  She certainly didn\'t feel up to going into it.

Once outside the guardhouse, she spoke to Rico again, though.  "I was thinking the undertaker first, then the Sanctuary to arrange the funeral, does that suit you?" she asked the handsome Greek man calmly.  Again, she was stopped and waiting for his response before acting, showing him the greatest of courtesies.  It felt odd.

[Kysis]

All Rico did at her speaking again was nod, and follow her through, hands still shoved deep in his pockets.  The bags under his eyes were only slightly visible, not nearly as much as those Kysis had.  Of course, Rico had odd sleeping habits to begin with, erratic ones, so this was nothing new on his body.  The stint crying last night had done the most damage, and his face felt a little heavy from it, little bit of red ringing around his eyes because of it, but not much for others to notice.  Rico had been careful with his appearance this morning, for some odd reason.  Perhaps it was looking presentable for the one they had to talk to about Alia\'s funeral.  Did first impressions matter with such people?

Either way, Rico put in the effort.

And now he was following the Captain around, into the back areas of the guardhouse (which he did not like at all.  He\'d rather stay on the other side of the counter, thank you), up the stairs, into the office with the people eyeing him.  That was bothersome.  Rico gave himself a look-over, as discretely as possible.  It could not be his attire, or his composure.  Perhaps it was just that Rico did not really come around the guardhouse, or out in public much, except to get food.  Most people would not even realize he worked for the Lord Liari.  In fact, Rico doubted that most people even knew who the Lord Liari was.

Kreos really had been different...

Rico snapped his thoughts back, pausing as the Captain did, listening to her next string of words. "That would probably be best.  I have the notes with me for both."  He was referring to the file of papers tucked beneath his right arm, full of papers Alia had scribed with her own hand, about her final wishes.  Rico would be more comfortable talking when they were away from the guardhouse.  That was a place where the Captain was in power, and Rico meant nothing.  It made him extremely uncomfortable.

[Existentially Odd]

Once more, they set off, Lam clearing her throat as if she was going to say something but finding, at the last moment, she wasn\'t able to commit to small talk with him.  She actually rather wanted to bring up his attack the other night or ask whether he\'d overheard her telling Alia about the baby but... it was all too difficult.  Every time she looked at him, a tide of emotions raged through her, leaving her flummoxed.

On the one hand, she felt terribly sorry and sympathetic towards him, on the other, she was insanely jealous that he\'d ever had any sort of pull over Kysis and yet on still another hand (she was obviously mutated, somehow, to have three hands), she wanted to calm things between them and be his friend.  He was likeable and handsome, he could fight and cook extremely well; he was certainly someone who had all the makings of a good friend of hers.  It was just the bump of Kysis between them that sent everything wayward.

Still, watching the snow as hey trudged and nodding her head to those they passed that greeted her with a gruff, "Morning, Captain," wasn\'t helping her feel any better about walking with him.  Eventually, she was compelled to say something.  "So you\'ve... uh... got Alia\'s wishes written down, then?" she asked, feeling lame in the asking and blushing slightly because of it.  She didn\'t look at him, keeping her eyes trained on the path ahead, her thumbs tucked into her belt as they strolled.  The graveyard was altogether too far away, for her liking.

[Kysis]

Rico noticed how many people greeted the Captain, looking up from the snow every time, looking at the person\'s face, their demeanor, analyzing the tone of their voices.  Did they like her?  It was a hard concept to wrap his head around.  In Kreos, people had greeted him like that, often asking him how his day was going, wanting to chat with him even if they were in a rush.  Rico had been a friendly person then, nice, without all the hostilities and anger.

What happened?

Kysis.

Yes, that was it.

Swallowing the lump he felt forming in his throat, Rico managed a "Yes" before taking a deep breath, thinking some more.  Those people actually liked the Captain.  He had always thought about her like she was a box of snakes.  Nothing had told him otherwise until now.  Rico kept walking for a little while, kicking a puff-ball of snow all of a sudden, sending it bouncing before it broke into pieces.

"Alia liked you."

It came as if from no where, sprouting forth from a cloud of white air that spewed from his lips.  Rico wanted to kick another puff-ball of snow, just to let it out, but resisted.  There was too much anger, in all reality.  He had to stop concentrating on anger.  Alia would not have liked to see him this way.

[Existentially Odd]

Lam grunted in a way that was more a laugh than anything, sliding a quick glance at Rico.  "Not originally, she didn\'t," she murmured wryly.  "I admitted as much to Lady Dinaris, but was assured that Alia didn\'t like anyone, so it wasn\'t surprising.  Apparently it was all about Helen, though.  That was a surprising, really," Lam mused, her gaze dropping to Rico\'s lips before she looked ahead, to where they were walking again.  "Considering Helen and what a bitch she is, it just shows what a loyal and good person Alia really was.  I\'m glad we were friendly, at the end."

After a few moments of silence, Lam laughed agan, this time the sound more melancholy and sweet.  "She certainly gave me a run for my money though, at the start, calling me names and believing I was corrupting her brother," she chuckled, then remembered who she was talking to.  She couldn\'t really joke about such things with Rico, it was just bloody awkward.  She\'d have to watch that, or he\'d likely take it as a sign of her having a go at him.

[Kysis]

The Retainer was startled by the Captain\'s laugh, looking up sharply, seeing if she really had.  Why yes, he heard right.  Odd... but then the comments about Helen.  He really agreed with the Captain on that point.  Helen was a venomous bitch at the best of times, when she was getting exactly what she wanted.  Part of the reason Rico had left Kreos was because of how hounded he felt by Helen.  The witch would not leave him alone!  Constantly she blamed her ruined wedding on [/i]him[/i].  Bitch.

The next part, about corruption, actually made Rico smile, his looking up at the Captain again.  This was not as painful as he thought it would be.  In fact, it seemed they had common ground to talk about.  Having Kysis in common did had an advantage, even if things had not gone the way he wanted.  Rico pushed those thoughts aside of the moment.

Perhaps he would give her a change.  Alia obviously hadn\'t, but then things ended up better.  What he had said about Alia liking her was entirely true.  Rico would not lie about that.

"Alia really looked up to Helen.  Helen was healthy and strong and constantly out doing things.  Alia used to ask us all what we did during the day, and made us describe it with great detail, so it was like her living it... Helen hated doing it, but Kysis and I would always humor her."  That smile grew a little sad, his pausing back into silence, continuing to walk the whole time.  He was not noticing the cold so much any more, luckily, his mind distracted from that.

"She was excited about having you as a sister-in-law."

[Existentially Odd]

Lam nodded, finding the thought of Alia gone now and missing out on so much choked her up, brought a wad of emotion to the throat and tears to her eyes.  Blinking dispelled them, but she had to clear her throat forcefully to speak with any sort of clarity, finding her voice still constricted and tight-sounding when she did.

"Yes.  We\'ll miss her at the wedding.  She would have been my only choice for a bride\'s maid - Freddy would look terrible in a dress," she joked, smiling softly at the thought of it.  She really did have no other options but her cousin, now.  It wasn\'t as if she\'d ask her bitch of a sister.  Lam doubted she\'d even attend, though she would be invited.  There was still the matter of seeing her father about it, too... oh, dear.

"We\'ll miss her a lot, in many ways, from now on, I should think," Lam finished dreamily, thinking about the baby, wondering if Rico would comment and give her a hint as to whether he\'d heard or not.

[Kysis]

"She really wanted to be an aunt..." Rico\'s voice had hushed, his casting a quick glance towards the Captain\'s stomach region before looking hastily back towards the ground.  It was frustrating.  Rico\'s sleep, as fleeting as it was, had been riddled with dreams that were filled with little red-headed babies pestering him, all night.  He had heard, loud and clear, and it had not left his head the entire night.  How he had managed to ignore it so far this morning was a miracle.  No, wait, that was entirely the wrong word for it.  The reason he had almost forgotten was Alia\'s death, and that in no way was a miracle.

He went on in silence for a little more, kicking another stray ball of snow, this one curving off the path and hitting a wall, cracking into pieces.  For some reason laying havoc on the snow was very satisfying to him, kept his venom at bay for now.  There were no guarantees for later though.  But, since Kysis had trusted him enough to accompany the Captain, Rico would keep his claws sheathed and out of sight.

"Alia was afraid she would never have children.  I mean, she and Alex had been" Rico paused for emphasis.  Though Alia had tried her hardest to keep it a secret, Rico had walked in on them accidentally once, "but there were no signs that she was even capable."

Rico kicked another snowball, this one for Alia.  He hoped they would be at the cemetery soon.  That would make sure things did not go hostile.  Rico could feel it churning in his stomach, the want to lash out.  Catching the glint of the ring the Captain wore made it even worse.  It felt like all his innards were twisted up into angry knots.  Yes, angry ones.

"I\'m sorry about last night."

That was another spontaneous statement, out of nowhere.  Kysis\' talk with him had had time to sink in, to be understood.  No matter what Rico said, or did, Kysis would not be coming back to him.  The wedding would just make it more permanent.  Rico still hated the Captain for it, but he had no right to say such things, especially in front of guests.  He was the Retainer, for crying out loud!  That had gone against all his training!

[Existentially Odd]

Right.  So Rico knew.  Everything, apparently, even about Alia and Alex.  The man was everywhere, it seemed, the eyes and the ears of the manor.  That was a thoroughly disconcerting thought and one she wouldn\'t dwell on beyond the notion that he was pained while listening to her and Kysis... yes, best not to dwell.

"Are you?" she enquired then, thinking he was merely making lip service by apologising to her.  It likely wasn\'t the nicest thing to do - to question his integrity when they should, by all accounts, be making friends on this day (or as close to it as they could get) - but she couldn\'t help it.  He didn\'t sound sorry, that was for damn sure.

She looked away from their destination, which was just up ahead of them now, and into his eyes thoughtfully, deciding she\'d give him a chance to explain himself.  "So you\'ve decided that I might have a chance at satisfying Kysis then, hmm?"  Her tone was even, but she knew her words were probably antagonistic, even if she didn\'t mean them to be.  She couldn\'t help but call him on his nastiness, even if the timing of their head-butting semed off.

[Kysis]

"I..." Rico opened his mouth and then shut it again.  The Captain was a box of snakes, that was for sure, and now Rico was feeling their bite.  Of course, he knew some things she probably did not, not that it mattered.  From the looks of it, Kysis was cutting him off the first moment he saw fit, as long as his woman did not protest.  As much as that normally would have made his blood boil, Rico forced it down.

"It was not exactly a stab at you.  It was more a... play on things."  Rico was not sure how to say this.  It was an indirect stab at the Captain, "An inside joke, I think they call it here?  I just.... was joking about how Matthew could not-- and probably wouldn\'t want to-- please the Lord Liari the same way I had."

There was emphasis on that last word, Rico acknowledging the fact that he had been a passing pleasure for Kysis, and now as nothing more.  What Rico really wanted was to get the subject off Kysis, and back onto Alia.  There was not as much bitterness between them on the subject of Alia.  That would probably be better for both of them, and his stopping the bickering would keep Kysis from sending Rico away, like he had threatened.

"I have to play nice now, or else I\'m booted back to Greece and stripped of my title before I can blink.  You have nothing to worry about."

[Existentially Odd]

Lam sighed, giving Rico a pained look.  "He won\'t send you back to Greece," she said wearily.  "Not if you don\'t want to go.  Personally, I\'d prefer it if you didn\'t, because then you could actually work on getting over him.  Trust me, falling out of love with someone takes a lot more work than you\'ve been putting in and if you stay, you will be able to accomplish that.  Of course, I\'d also prefer it if he didn\'t even feel the need to evict you from the house because... well, but he does," she sighed again, looking towards the understaker\'s cottage, seeing smoke emanating from his chimney and pleased that he appeared to be home.

She couldn\'t bring herself to completely argue Rico\'s point but she felt her concession was enough.  Rico felt she had nothing to worry about; she didn\'t like that kysis didn\'t trust himself enough or feel comfortable about having Rico around all the time.  She had to stop thinking of it in terms of temptation, or put it to herself in the manner of thinking about Dagger living with them... but that just made things worse, because she fully understood the scope of emotions that would be stirred up by such a thing and she hated it.  She didn\'t want any sort of deviance or weakness on either her or Kysis\' part... but they were human and their pasts were... emotional and complicated, to say the least.

"As for Matthew," she began with a straightening of her shoulders - likely demonstrating how she was deliberately changing the topic to something else, "I wouldn\'t be too sure," she laughed wryly.  "I\'ve never known him to show an interest anywhere, so it could well be the case, for all I know."

[Kysis]

Fall out of love, hmmm?  Rico was forced to close his eyes, to calm the sudden burst of emotions welling out of his chest, making it tight and constricted.  For years he had been chasing after Kysis.  For years he had been contented just getting pinned when he lost a fight against Kysis, heart fluttering painfully in those moments the better warrior had him pressed against the wall.  Of course, that had not always been enough, Rico had always wanted more, and now...  Kysis wanted a negative hole, like taking a spoon to his chest and digging out any of his heart that had even remotely be linked to Rico.  It hurt.

What also hurt was that the Captain, his main advesary, was the one saying these things.  Yes, Alia had briefly stated something like it, but that was different.  Alia did not understand.  The Captain had been the victor, and now Rico felt as if she was gloating.  Gloating over what she had managed to get in such a short amount of time when Rico had been fighting for it for years.

Rico breathed a sigh of relief when he saw the cottage, and even better, the fire.  That meant that if they had to go inside, it would be nice and warm.  Rico hated the winter.  For some reason Kysis liked it.  Weird.  The comment about Matthew threw Rico off, his almost tripping.  Wait, did he hear her right?  Oh my.  A little blush came to his cheeks, if it could be seen through the red of the cold.  Well, that was interesting.  For the longest time Kysis had seemed asexual, but both of them knew first hand that that was not true in the least.  Rico was sure Matthew would eventually find someone that helped him out of that uninterested shell eventually.

[Existentially Odd]

Lam did most of the talking once her knock was answered.  The undertaker\'s name was Tom, he was only slightly older than Lam, a large and friendly man, despite his occupation.  His tact and respect at funerals was always greatly appreciated, as were his broad shoulders and dedicated work ethic.  When he was told that they were looking for a plt near a tree, his grey eyes darkened and his mouth twisted skeptically.

"Don\'t think I can give ye\' one o\'those ere, Cap\'n," he told Lam regretfully.

"Might we see what\'s available, then?" she enquired politely and Tom scrambled to show she and Rico through the graveyard.

It was rather a more difficult journey than she\'d expected it to be, walking from between established headstones to the newest area of the place, where ten yawning holes, sided with small mountains of dirt faced them.  None of them were anywhere near a tree, though what would likely be the next row was; off to their right was a frozen tributary of water and, beside it, stood a few growing Weeping Willows.  She looked at them, then back at the pits facing them, then to Rico, suddenly overcome with this decision.

He was the man with the notes, he would know what to do.  "What do you think?" she asked him quietly.