Trouble Distinctly

[Trillian]

BEN HAD FOUND a moment to himself away from Kerr to slip out and go for a walk.  It was something he often did whenever Kerr was busy with an online auction or doing something that Ben couldn\'t really do with him.  Right now he was in the middle of a heated eBay bidding that he had to keep an eye on lest he lose a perfect item of furniture for his castle in Scotland - one that Ben had visited with him recently.

His head wasn\'t really thinking anything specific as he walked, though he did find himself out in front of a particular apartment.  His timing was impeccable for it wasn\'t long before a certain teenaged youth slipped out after giving the street a furtive glance up and down.  Ichabod didn\'t see Ben, not when he was practising his Dimness - something that Kerr and he had done a lot of overseas on their trip, being invisible to the mass crowd.  Strangely, it was something Ben had the knack for, perhaps because he was a quiet soul who\'d always been overlooked when alive.

Ichabod walked and Ben followed, not really paying attention to where they were going, though the teenager was carrying some kind of green canvas bag with him.  There was a name printed on the side of the bag but Ben couldn\'t read it from here.  It wasn\'t too far along that Ichabod went inside a shop and exited fairly quickly.  Milk and bread, Ben guessed, the staple purchases that always tasted better fresh.  He turned quicker than Ichabod did, knowing the other was going to set home again, and ducked into an alley, just on the mouth of it - the only narrow walkspace available to him between two busy streets.  If he missed pulling Ichabod into it, then their meeting wouldn\'t eventuate.

He didn\'t need to worry, though he had to step out further than intended simply because Ichabod was walking on the footpath closer to the street than the walls of the buildings he was passing.  Ben moved out, grabbed his wrist with vice-like intention and hauled him into the alley.  To prevent any real sound coming out of the human he pressed his other hand upon Ichabod\'s mouth, effectively gripping the teen into a headlock.

"Don\'t scream, it\'s just me, okay?" Ben said, noting that Ichabod was still holding (with a deathlike grip) the green canvas bag that held a bottle of milk and a sixpack of bread rolls.  Rolls instead of a loaf, that was close enough to Ben\'s guess to have him somewhat smug over it.  "Okay?" he prompted again, tugging on Ichabod\'s wrist in a warning way, waiting to hear a muffled sound in the affirmative.

[pinkroses]

Every time Ichabod had to leave the apartment after dusk he was nervous, worried about who he might bump into, especially now that Many had told him that Ben and Kerr had returned from their trip. He and Mandy had been able to relax and get closer over that time when they had known the vampires weren’t around but now Ichabod was tense and anxious again. He tried to hide it from Mandy, but he wasn’t convinced he was doing a good job of it, she always seemed to perceptive when it came to feelings and he hated hiding things from her, especially when he was trying to hard to convince her to forget the idea of becoming a vampire. At least he had a job now to keep himself occupied and distracted, but sometimes it just didn’t help.

He had only left the flat tonight because he had forgotten to go shopping earlier in the day and he and Mandy needed a couple of things for breakfast the next morning. As Ichabod left the shop and began to head back home he almost began to relax, in a couple of minutes he would be home and safe again (although Ben turning up on his doorstep a few weeks ago proved that not even there was really safe).

Ichabod couldn’t let out any more than a small cry as he felt a vice like grip on his wrist, a sharp tug and then a cool hand covering his mouth. His dark eyes widened as he stared at Ben through lopsided glasses from the jerky grip Ben had put on him and his body tensed up completely. For the briefest moment he’d wished he was being mugged rather than having the fledgling find him, at least he wouldn’t have to lie to Mandy about that.

Ichabod’s eyes slid shut at the tug on his wrist and he made a quiet noise of confirmation to show he understood, although the attempted nod was stunted by the firm grip on his face. He didn’t want to be standing here opposite Ben, but he had no choice in the matter, just like every other time he had come face to face with him. Despite his initial anger at Ben’s demand that he wasn’t fed from by any other vampire Ichabod had done as instructed. He hadn’t gone to Risk or been anywhere else where vampires lurked, he hadn’t even gone out to any clubs, although that was Mandy’s influence on him rather than a worry of running into any vampires. His fingernails dug into the palm of his hand as his grip tightened on the bag he held but he resisted the temptation to struggle or attempt to get away as he knew it would do no good.

[Trillian]

Ben released the hold over Ichabod\'s mouth, which gave him the opportunity to step back.  His hand left Ichabod\'s wrist as well for he figured not only would the teen not make a break for it but he was fairly sure he\'d catch Ichabod before he was out on the street again.  A few people walked by but ignored the pair of boys further in the alley, seeming as though they were having a quiet conversation, except neither of them was talking.

Ben stared at Ichabod, watching him intently.  He wasn\'t getting the same kind of bubbling resentment in his chest like he used to but now there was a fascination to be felt at Ichabod\'s behaviour, and a deep seated desire to know how Ichabod would react to particular things being said and done.

"What have you been up to since I\'ve been away?" Ben asked pleasantly enough, as though they were old friends catching up.  What he really wanted to know was if Ichabod had been to Risk.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod swallowed hard as Ben released his hold on him and opened his eyes again, readjusting his glasses with his free hand and he felt his cheeks colouring under Ben’s intense gaze. Not only could he feel them heating a little but his mouth and cheeks tingled after the pressure of the hand against his face. He always hated to be studied so intensely, and there was always something more behind the way Ben looked at him than anyone else. Ichabod knew he should feel safer with Ben than he did, the fledgling had assured him he was safe with him and Ichabod didn’t think he would risk Kerr’s disapproval, but he couldn’t help feeling on edge, wondering when Ben would decide to drink from him. Why else would he seek him out like this?

“Not much, got a job,” Ichabod murmured, his eyes flickering downwards as he spoke. He didn’t want to give Ben too much information about his private life than he had to, he especially didn’t want to tell him about Mandy, although he wasn’t sure what the pink haired woman would have told Kerr abut them, if anything.

“You… uh… did you have a good time in Europe?” he asked with a small frown, disliking the silence which only made him think about the way he was being watched. He didn’t want to hear about Ben’s trip and what he had done, but if it would fill the silence and put off the inevitable then he would say almost anything.

[Trillian]

"Yes," Ben answered without going into detail.  He didn\'t want to think about Europe now, or Kerr, he just wanted to focus on Ichabod and what was going on here.  It was easy for him to see and understand that his gaze was making Ichabod uncomfortable.  Was it his freaky silver-blue eyes or just the expression itself?  Ben very suddenly needed to be able to read minds but he couldn\'t just yet, not unless it was his sire or if another vampire sent thoughts to him.  Humans were blocked except that he could only catch surface thoughts if they were projected at him - tip of the tongue stuff, perhaps.  He\'d picked up from Ichabod before and he was receiving emotions as well.  Was it mental reception or was it observation of body language?  Ben couldn\'t properly decide but it didn\'t matter in the end, not if he knew how Ichabod was feeling.

"What kind of job?"  The answer Ichabod gave Ben would help him understand Ichabod\'s routine and the best time to catch him when he was leaving or returning from work.  As long as it wasn\'t part time in the middle of the day there was a good chance he\'d be coming home from work when the sun was down.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod’s eyes met Ben’s for a moment; there was almost a hint of defiance in that look but it faded quickly. He didn’t want to tell Ben what he was doing, but he knew it was pointless to resist. Ichabod was a coward and he didn’t want to risk getting hurt at all, not when it wasn’t necessary.

“I work for a company in town, mostly carting stuff to and from different departments, whatever little jobs they need doing,” he said in a sulky tone. He knew it wasn’t much, but it paid enough that he could contribute to rent and groceries and would do until he went to university. It was long hours but the work wasn’t difficult and Ichabod felt better being out of the house when Mandy wasn’t there, although it sucked when she was on night shifts.

Ichabod cast a glance sideways as a couple walked past on the quiet pavement, then returned his gaze to Ben. “You going to do it then?” he murmured, not understanding what the point of this seemingly idle chit chat was. If Ben was going to drink from him Ichabod wanted him to just do it so that he could get home to Mandy again. So what if he wasn’t pinned up against the wall yet? It was only a matter of time, then he’d drink, then he’d disappear, like the other times.

[Trillian]

At the prompt Ben\'s eyes narrowed for a moment as he regarded Ichabod with suspicion, then they lost their edge when he nodded.  If Ichabod wanted it done right away then so be it, he was already braced for the event it seemed and had given Ben permission - more or less - to drink.

Do you want to put your shopping down? Ben wanted to ask but didn\'t bother, such things were irrelevant and Ichabod could drop it if he wanted.  The milk was a carton and not a glass, Ben had been able to tell from glancing into it.  Instead of slamming Ichabod against the wall - for such a thing was unnecessary - he stepped into the teen (but wasn\'t there a hint of flinching away, and wasn\'t it just easier to keep stepping forward and usher Ichabod to the wall anyway, using personal space?).  They ended up with Ben pressing against the mortal teen, chest to chest, groin to groin, one of Ben\'s hands on Ichabod\'s hip and the other clutching his hair on the side opposite to the side he bit into.  There was no further preamble, there was just the bite (as gentle as Ben could make it) and the drinking.

He remembered what it was like on the other side of this, the dopey warm sexual feeling that stole over him, and such a memory served to arouse him - if just a little bit - and had him grinding half-heartedly against his victim, an absent rhythm that matched the drinking, with a fattening erection making itself obvious as the minutes ticked by.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod carefully let his bag slip to the floor as he instinctively moved back against the wall when Ben approached him and found himself pinned once again, although this time by the vampire’s body rather than his firm grip holding him still. The human leant his head towards Ben’s hand when his fingers were tangled through his hair, giving him room to bite, not bothering at all to struggle or protest. It was just easier this way.

He couldn’t help but let out a soft moan as Ben’s teeth sank into his skin, feeling that sharp stab of pain before it was quickly replaced by the pleasant dazed feeling which Ichabod hadn’t properly felt whilst Ben had been drinking from him before. It had been too panicked, too rushed or too terrifying before, but now Ichabod relaxed as his hand drifted up to cup Ben’s neck on the side furthest from him and his other hand moved upwards to lightly grip Ben’s shirt over his chest. This felt more like it had with Lazarus or Kerr, more sexual and less predatory and that feeling was only increased as Ben ground his body against his. They were about the same height so Ichabod could easily feel the rub against his groin as Ben’s erection began to make itself known.

“Ben…” he murmured, pressing his body back against the vampire’s without even thinking about it and not bothering to wonder why Ben’s reaction to him seemed to have changed so suddenly. He and Mandy hadn’t been that close physically yet, neither of them wanted to rush into anything, and it felt good to have someone paying him so much attention with minimal effort on his part. So although a small part of him knew he shouldn’t react so positively Ichabod couldn’t help but respond in kind; rubbing gently against the vampire and slipping his hand up into Ben’s blonde hair, wanting the feeding to go on for as long as it could rather than wishing it would stop. He felt his body responding in kind to Ben attentions and he felt himself begin to stiffen as well.

[Trillian]

There was a sensation of floating, of freedom.  Ichabod was sating something in him far deeper than sex, it was a gnawing hunger, like a deep seated itch that was right now being scratched by someone who knew exactly what to do and where to go.  Of course pressing himself against the mortal and grinding into him awakened a different element to the feeding.  Ichabod\'s response also changed things a great deal.  It was like Ben had been missed in the time he\'d been away, like Ichabod hated it but really loved it... wanted it.

Ben wasn\'t looking forward to the ending of the feeding either and so didn\'t drink quickly or deeply.  There was no groping, nothing beyond the rubbing that both could pretend was innocent due to their proximity, or even justify that it was happening because of the act, not because it had been their intention.

It was several minutes before he pulled back - Ichabod had donated roughly a pint, no more than what a blood bank would take from him and then offer cookies or cake.  Ichabod might be a little lightheaded but wouldn\'t be so dizzy that he couldn\'t walk.  Of course sugar would help but there weren\'t any treats with the milk and bread.  When Ben pulled back he slid and turned to one side so that he, too, had his back to the wall, shoulder to shoulder with the teen he\'d fed from as though catching his breath.  Now the throbbing in his groin was obvious and there was a guilty feeling accompanying it.

"Tell me about the night Kerr picked you up," he demanded quite suddenly.  On his last visit the topic had been Lazarus, and Ben remembered telling Ichabod that any questions would be answered.  For now, though, he wanted his own curiosity satisfied (and perhaps he also wished to be punished for what he\'d done, though this was hidden so deeply in Ben\'s psyche that he didn\'t understand the reason for his wanting to know such details).  "What you did before I walked in.  What happened afterward."

Ben had run off and Kerr had only followed a short way, then returned to his apartment.  Ben wanted to hear it all, to fire his jealousy, to hurt himself.  He thought perhaps it was simply a tie to the open wound, closure, in a sense.  It was no such thing, but he didn\'t know this yet.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod took a slow, deep breath as Ben pulled back, blinking with surprise as the cool air hit him now that Ben wasn’t pressed against him any more. It felt like there should have been more, like the feeding should have gone on for longer or been followed by something else, but no, it was just over so abruptly. And Ichabod immediately felt terrible for wishing that it hadn’t.

He looked sideways at Ben with a startle glance at the question, at first not entirely sure he’d heard correctly but as Ben continued Ichabod knew he had heard properly. He couldn’t for the life of him think why Ben was asking that, Ichabod hadn’t wanted to hear anything about anyone Lazarus had gone off with whilst they were supposed to be together. But maybe this was like Ben’s asking about Lazarus, he was just trying to make the human feel bad… but surely he didn’t want to hear it? Why didn’t he just ask Kerr?

Ichabod knew Ben hadn’t drunk that much, but he slowly slid to the ground, leaning back against the wall, both to give himself time to think and to avoid feeling dizzy later. From previous experience he guessed that the briefest details wouldn’t suffice, but, again, he didn’t know how much Ben had heard from the other side. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to figure out where to start.

“Lazarus took me to Risk, then left me there whilst he went off… I don’t know where,” Ichabod said quietly, feeling every second like he was being judged, although he tried to remind himself that this wasn’t all his fault. “Kerr and I kind of… bumped into each other. We chatted for a bit, mainly about you,” he said, glancing up at Ben to see his reaction. Ben had been the first vampire who had drunk from him and Ichabod hadn’t forgotten that; how could he after so many reminders being forced on him?

“Then Kerr made it pretty clear he was going to take a human home, any human, that was why he was there. And I was pissed at Lazarus so… I went.” Ichabod absentmindedly played with the handles of his shopping bag as he spoke, remembering what had happened that night. He’d been feeling so rejected, used, and then ignored that the attention from Kerr had been wonderful. That feeling of being wanted, needed. And he had been Kerr’s first… Well, his first male conquest anyway. And it had been rough, but safe as well. Being thumped up against the wall as they kissed had been so similar to the way Ben had forced himself on him at first, but Ichabod had never thought that the Irish man might hurt him.

He wanted to stop speaking then, but Ben had made it perfectly clear he wanted to hear more so Ichabod hesitantly parted his lips again to speak.

“So he… he took me back to his flat and we had sex, and he fed from me whilst we… y’know.” And they had just finished when Ben walked in. Talk about timing, they had both just climaxed and were catching their breath (well, Ichabod had been, Kerr obviously didn’t need to) and then Ben had entered and left again without even finding out who Kerr was with.

“He said he loved you, and that you were sleeping with Arles. He told me about how you were punished for what he’d told you and how you two were always arguing,” Ichabod said before stopping, staring down at the patch of ground before him. He felt guilty telling Ben that he and Kerr had spoken so much about him, and that the first few things they had said to each other were about Ben and how he was faring. Ichabod had wanted to see the blonde again, he hadn’t wanted to hurt him but it had all just… happened. And Ichabod didn’t want to hurt Ben more despite everything that had happened, so he stopped before saying that then he and Kerr had showered together and fucked again before Ichabod had gone home to Lazarus.

[Trillian]

It was funny how Ichabod\'s tale of Kerr\'s indiscretion didn\'t really affect him anymore.  He wasn\'t angry or resentful, not even numb.  It seemed like he\'d got over it.  Annoyed that he wasn\'t affected by Ichabod\'s words, he found a way to be unhappy with Ichabod\'s submission.

"What about after I left?" he snapped, looking down at the top of Ichabod\'s head, trying to make the teen think that he wasn\'t pleasing Ben enough - and he wasn\'t, in a way, though there was no way anything good could come out of what the pair of them were doing.  Ben honestly thought, however, he would be told that Kerr went back and sent Ichabod home - for that was what he believed.  Perhaps when he was told this he would find it a great excuse to calm down and then give Ichabod the opportunity to ask questions of his own - if he still had any.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod flinched at the sharp sound of Ben’s voice, squeezing his eyes shut for a brief moment before taking a deep breath and speaking again.

“We talked for a bit and then I went home,” he lied in a quiet voice, praying that Ben would see through him too easily. He didn’t want Ben angry at him and although he knew he was risking his anger by lying, he didn’t want to be the reason Ben and Kerr fought again. Maybe that was why Ben was here asking these questions, they had already had an argument and Ben just wanted reassurance, or something that he could yell at Kerr about. Either way, Ichabod didn’t think he would be happy to hear that when Kerr had returned they had carried on pretty much where they had left off… and it had been Kerr initiating most of the acts.

[Trillian]

It was what Ben wanted to hear, and the tremble in Ichabod\'s voice wasn\'t unexpected, considering he\'d been drunk from.  Ben didn\'t think twice about it and found himself not wanting to snipe at Ichabod anymore.  After being quiet for a moment, he also slid down the wall at his back and came to rest sitting beside Ichabod, mirroring the position so that both boys were sitting the same way, looking like friends.

"I told you last time that if you had questions I would answer them," he reminded, curious about what kind of questions Ichabod would ask.  Why Ben was doing this, perhaps, but that was an answer Ben would struggle with.  He\'d answer as best he could for he wasn\'t lying about the offer.  He turned his head to look at the mortal at his side and licked his lips, still tasting him in his mouth.

[pinkroses]

Ichabod was surprised that Ben believed him, but kept his eyes lowered, trying to hide his shock and stopping himself from glancing up at Ben to see if he was just playing with him. He finally let himself look towards the other teenager as he took a seat beside him and Ichabod moved his bag of groceries to the other side of his body so that it wasn‘t between them.

‘Why are you doing this?’ was the first question which leapt into Ichabod’s mind, but for now he held that one back. He didn’t know if Ben even had a good reason for following the human, continuing to feed from him, especially when it all had to be kept so quiet, so if he was going to ask something which might make Ben clam up he would ask that at the last moment.

“Why did you ask me about what Kerr and me did, and not him?” Ichabod asked after a moment. His eyes had drifted down to watch Ben’s tongue lapping at his lips instinctively before he pulled them swiftly back up to meet Ben’s silvery eyes. “And why did you ask me about Lazarus before you went?” he added with a small frown. He knew he should just get up and leave, go back to Mandy, but the offer was there and there were a few questions Ichabod wanted answered.

[Trillian]

Ben watched Ichabod move the grocery bag and thought it was interesting that Ichabod would choose to remove a barricade between them.

"I wanted to hear your version," Ben said, then decided to give a little more of the nature of his reasoning.  "To collaberate."  This answer was more true of Lazarus than it was of Kerr, so he decided to present the softer side of his reasoning - and there were many sides to it for him to select from.  "It\'s a way of getting to know you, of knowing your perception.  I already know what Lazarus and Kerr think."

He wasn\'t really sure about Kerr though, but things were sweet with his sire right now.  He didn\'t want to be angry with Kerr, he liked the warmth and playfulness between them, the fact things were going easy and without argument.  It was nice to finally have something like that.