Ichabod took a slow, deep breath as Ben pulled back, blinking with surprise as the cool air hit him now that Ben wasn’t pressed against him any more. It felt like there should have been more, like the feeding should have gone on for longer or been followed by something else, but no, it was just over so abruptly. And Ichabod immediately felt terrible for wishing that it hadn’t.
He looked sideways at Ben with a startle glance at the question, at first not entirely sure he’d heard correctly but as Ben continued Ichabod knew he had heard properly. He couldn’t for the life of him think why Ben was asking that, Ichabod hadn’t wanted to hear anything about anyone Lazarus had gone off with whilst they were supposed to be together. But maybe this was like Ben’s asking about Lazarus, he was just trying to make the human feel bad… but surely he didn’t want to hear it? Why didn’t he just ask Kerr?
Ichabod knew Ben hadn’t drunk that much, but he slowly slid to the ground, leaning back against the wall, both to give himself time to think and to avoid feeling dizzy later. From previous experience he guessed that the briefest details wouldn’t suffice, but, again, he didn’t know how much Ben had heard from the other side. He ran a hand through his hair, trying to figure out where to start.
“Lazarus took me to Risk, then left me there whilst he went off… I don’t know where,” Ichabod said quietly, feeling every second like he was being judged, although he tried to remind himself that this wasn’t all his fault. “Kerr and I kind of… bumped into each other. We chatted for a bit, mainly about you,” he said, glancing up at Ben to see his reaction. Ben had been the first vampire who had drunk from him and Ichabod hadn’t forgotten that; how could he after so many reminders being forced on him?
“Then Kerr made it pretty clear he was going to take a human home, any human, that was why he was there. And I was pissed at Lazarus so… I went.” Ichabod absentmindedly played with the handles of his shopping bag as he spoke, remembering what had happened that night. He’d been feeling so rejected, used, and then ignored that the attention from Kerr had been wonderful. That feeling of being wanted, needed. And he had been Kerr’s first… Well, his first male conquest anyway. And it had been rough, but safe as well. Being thumped up against the wall as they kissed had been so similar to the way Ben had forced himself on him at first, but Ichabod had never thought that the Irish man might hurt him.
He wanted to stop speaking then, but Ben had made it perfectly clear he wanted to hear more so Ichabod hesitantly parted his lips again to speak.
“So he… he took me back to his flat and we had sex, and he fed from me whilst we… y’know.” And they had just finished when Ben walked in. Talk about timing, they had both just climaxed and were catching their breath (well, Ichabod had been, Kerr obviously didn’t need to) and then Ben had entered and left again without even finding out who Kerr was with.
“He said he loved you, and that you were sleeping with Arles. He told me about how you were punished for what he’d told you and how you two were always arguing,” Ichabod said before stopping, staring down at the patch of ground before him. He felt guilty telling Ben that he and Kerr had spoken so much about him, and that the first few things they had said to each other were about Ben and how he was faring. Ichabod had wanted to see the blonde again, he hadn’t wanted to hurt him but it had all just… happened. And Ichabod didn’t want to hurt Ben more despite everything that had happened, so he stopped before saying that then he and Kerr had showered together and fucked again before Ichabod had gone home to Lazarus.