Breaking the rules!

[Fell]

Ravi was trained to notice everything about whoever he was with. When Ky\'s breath caught, Ravi could tell. Immediately, he drew his hand back. The demon didn\'t know if it was fear that had caused it, or.... Or something else, Ravi thought, somewhere between excited and surprised. Could Ky really...? Ravi gave himself a mental shake. Time would tell.

It didn\'t surprise Ravi much when Ky began to cry. He seemed like the type that would cry easily - which Ravi didn\'t consider an insult or a weakness. Many at the Academy might, but Ravi thought of it as simply another way of dealing with things. You really wouldn\'t make a good assassin, the apprentice thought of Ky with a smile. Deftly, Ravi wiped Ky\'s eyes with a sleeve. He barely touched the other\'s skin, catching the water perfectly on the fabric. It was all the training, nothing more, that allowed him to do so.

"It\'s okay. It wouldn\'t be a good thing if everyone had a hard heart. I\'m glad there are people here without them," Ravi said simply, giving Ky a smile. The demon wasn\'t really sure where he fell anymore. He\'d considered himself soft-hearted for so long, but he hadn\'t cried after his first kill. He hadn\'t even felt bad about it, and it was more than just "following orders". The truth was, Ravi had been happy to kill the guy - a minor slave trader who\'d crossed some rich noble when he took his illegitimate kid. In Ravi\'s eyes, he\'d deserved it.

When he\'d first realised that, Ravi had been a little disconcerted. It didn\'t fit with his self-image, but apparently, that was how he was. "Can\'t you go back to them?" the demon asked, in part to distract himself from his own thoughts. "...Not that I\'m unhappy to have you here," Ravi added thoughtfully, giving Ky a wry smile as he did.

[highonlullabies]

When Ravi\'s hand darted away from Ky\'s face when his breath caught, Ky silently cursed himself.

So, when Ravi brushed away the tears, Ky thanked him, and was proud that he had managed to make sure his breath didn\'t catch again.

Ky was pleased that Ravi didn\'t think badly of him because he cried easily. Ky smiled back at Ravi, but it still had a rueful feel to it, and Ky felt as if something were distracting Ravi, but wasn\'t sure, and remained silent to give Ravi time to think about whatever he was thinking about. Ky looked up at the sky, and let his emotions and thoughts drift about in the silence.

When Ravi asked him why he didn\'t go back to his family, Ky was taken aback. What\'s that mean? He wondered, and wondered if Ravi was implying that he didn\'t want him there, but then Ravi added that he wasn\'t unhappy with Ky being there, and Ky felt relieved. But he still had to wonder: Why was he there? The Academy wasn\'t any place for someone like him. But, yet, it was where he belonged. Somehow the fact that he didn\'t belong there, made him belong there. He didn\'t know how to explain it.

"Well... I write them. But... I need to be here. I don\'t know why, but I don\'t know how I could leave this place, I would worry what would happen to everyone. And I would wonder if someone had died, and then feel guilt, because I might have been able to stop that death. So, I guess I\'ve made this a self-imposed prison," Ky shrugged. "But, it\'s not all that bad. I mean, I meet the most interesting people. And I learn so much. I just feel that I need to be here. Maybe eventually I\'ll be able to leave, but for now, this is where I belong."

Ky giggled, for he had just been babbling. "Sorry for babbling so much. Does what I said make sense at all?" Ky wasn\'t certain if it made sense to even himself.

[Fell]

Poor guy, feeling responsible like that. Maybe that was the curse of being a healer. At least when someone died around Ravi, it was usually because he\'d meant for them to. But when it happened to Ky... You probably think it means you messed up each time. Damn, maybe it does, the demon thought, looking over at the other boy.

"Healing seems hard. On the mind, I mean," Ravi said, clarifying quickly. "I\'m lucky..." He thought about going on, but Ky seemed gentle enough that elaborating might be... mean. Besides, why would he agree? Killing people wasn\'t easier for everyone. It probably wasn\'t even easier for most. Which is why the Academy is so small, Ravi thought, looking around them. They could see the whole place from here, making it a great perch.

Ravi realised suddenly that he hadn\'t answered Ky\'s last question. He turned to the elf with a grin. "And yes, it all made sense. Don\'t doubt yourself so much," the sunset-haired boy said, giving Ky a light tap on the shoulder.

[highonlullabies]

Ky knew that he shouldn\'t doubt himself so much. He didn\'t mean to, but he couldn\'t bring himself to not doubt himself.

"Healing is difficult, but for me it\'s easier than killing," Ky replied, and chuckled slightly because Ravi felt the exact opposite it seemed. "Either way I would feel guilty if someone died, and with healing, then at least I get the good feeling when I can prevent someone from dying. It\'s just the way I am, I guess. Thank you, though," he was glad that Ravi was so understanding.

[Fell]

(Sorry it\'s been so long. Should be more regular now that I\'m back in school)

Ravi grinned; there was no need for Ky to have thanked him. "Don\'t worry about it," the air demon replied gently. But he wasn\'t really sure what to say after that... Ravi looked up again, just admiring the stars for a moment while he tried to think of something to say.

Finally, the demon settled for honesty. "I don\'t really know what to say next," Ravi said with a chuckle. He brought his head down, closing his eyes as he did and leaving them that way for a moment before turning his head towards Ky and opening them onto the elf\'s own. "You have any ideas?"

Ravi felt a little silly asking for conversation topics, but he just really didn\'t know where to go from here. Ky seemed like the type who might understand anyway - or at least forgive the demon\'s silliness, if he saw it that way.